Parent-Teacher Meetings in the 90s vs. Today
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2021
- Oh, how the times have changed! (with Honest Teacher Vibes)
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I was one of several teachers in a meeting with the principal and the parent of a "difficult" child. After listening for a bit, the parent said: "It sounds like you don't like my child." One of the teachers looked him straight in the eye and said: "What's to like?" and proceeded to describe the child's disruptive and unruly behavior in detail...We were so proud of that woman
Good for her
Teachers gotta deal with a lot.
Please! 😆 tell us what happened after?
😂😂😂
Oh, that is pure gold.🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is about ego. Parents today see negative remarks about their child as personal insults.
Correct
It isn’t about the parent. It’s about what’s best for the kid
Nobody likes to see a bad reflection of themselves. Most apples don't fall far from the tree.
So, the Teacher is talking about behavioral issues of the child in school that You don't see - So, ask the kid if any of the things the Teacher said was true - This will make the kid then answer truthfully b/c the Teacher can call the kid out if he lies.... Then you'll Know what the Teacher said about the kid is true. That's when the parent have a good discussion with the student & Teacher about how to improve his/her behavior in class.
@@poetlover30 Yes, unfortunately these days many/most of the parent-teacher conferences happen without the child present. But yeah, they should be. The teacher could see some of the interaction between the parent and the child too if there are behavioral issues to address. Looks like the parent might be the problem in the 2nd example. More about entitlement than education.
I was a high school teacher from 1997-1999. In my experience, it was the beginning of the trend of parents being hyper-defensive of their kids, even lying to protect them from reasonable consequences. I quit when my administration refused to suspend a student athlete when they threw a desk at me. That next fall, Columbine happened. 100% could have been my school. Never regretted quitting teaching. Am an advocate for teachers even though I never had kids. It was the hardest, most stressful, and most under-compensated job I ever had.
Student athletes get special privileges, it seems.
He threw a DESK at you?! Holy shit
I take it case by case. I've had a teacher put a bruise on my child in front of me because she got impatient, which I will not tolerate for a second. I've also had another one of my kids say the teacher was lying when she literally described behavior I had seen at home, and already corrected him for before.
Not all teachers are perfect, but kids aren't perfect either. It's not up to the world to raise our kids, it's up to us parents.
You have to always take a teacher behavior into consideration I called my 10th grade English teacher and asshole cause he spent most the semester being rude about me being bald I got suspended for being disrespectful today administration probably would done nothing. But than again my principal suspended me because my mom wouldn't consent to corporal punishment@@anonymoose116
I have been on both sides and neither side is absolute. I've been the parent where the school asked for more parental involvement but when I asked direct questions about certain teachers and situations, I gave complete examples of what happened, there was a problem. I was too involved in my child's education or over protective...I have also been on the teacher side where there was a desperate need for substitute teachers. Grade school was not too bad but of course kids are going to try you. I handled it with love and compassion. By the end of the year, if the kids knew there was going to be a substitute, they asked for me. Highschool on the other hand was a whole different ball game...Let's just say they didn't want me because I knew their games. I always taught with love and conviction but in today's society...there is not enough money to pay me to teach. I didn't want them anymore than they wanted me.
I’m a 90’s mom, and you nailed it! My kids are now adults and thank me all the time for how I raised them. Their wives do too because when they wed, I gave the ladies my # and told them if my boys ever forgot how I raised them, and started acting the fool, to call me.
You are a WONDERFUL mother!
Yes. This⬆️
This a Southern Mama right here?😂
If I could count the times I heard my Mama or Granny say that while growing up😅
It is so sad this is so accurate. Parents today do not hold their kids accountable. I love her voice, so engaging.
AGRREEEEEEEDDDDD
I agree, most parents do not parent anymore! They blame everyone else, on their child’s behavioral problems or denies there is a problem; even that it is your problem!
Parents now either don’t want/take care of their kids and want to be they damn friends. That ain’t their fucking job though, why can’t they let these damn kids get disciplined because we all suffer from this bs
If you hold your children accountable what you're actually doing is infringing on their sense of autonomy which is "childism". Thank God parents today are not abusing their children with childish like they did to us back in the 90's. CPS should have been called on our parents.🙄 (I'm being sarcastic)
@@atruthseeker79 At first I thought you were serious. I’m in mom groups where moms talk like that. 😬
"I think you done lost your mind, and I'm about to help you find it." LOL 😂
😂😂😂❤
I have two teens. I generally am the ‘90s style mom except for ONE meeting, and it went almost exactly the way the meeting went with the now mom. The only difference is my 6th grade kid (ADHD and mentally gifted) was getting all the 7th grade math work done, and then reading a leisure book until her classmates had finished. The teacher wanted my kid to sit for 15-30 minutes quietly doing nothing. I offered literally a half dozen ideas for how to keep my kid quietly engaged with the subject matter (doing homework, Khan Academy assignments, worksheets, assisting other students, additional work from the textbook, etc.), but the teacher would only accept my kid sitting quietly and still, doing nothing for 15-30 minutes. After trying for 40 minutes to come to some acceptable compromise, I told her that the issue is now entirely her own problem and she is welcome to handle the issue herself going forward. I went to my car, sent an email to the principal and requested that my kid be tested out of the next year’s math class and jump to 9th grade math for her 7th grade year. It was approved.
Did you tell your child that disrespectful behavior was allowed? Otherwise it is your job to advocate for your own child. The situation you describe is actually very uncommon btw most kids do not skip grades. I think you sound like a now mom 💯
@@pinkpeonyy Nah I agree with OP. If the child gets their work done and has time to kill, let them read a damn book. Plenty of teachers are just doing their best to do their job. But, like with any profession, there are those who are having a power trip. It's just reading a book. Teacher needs to chill and focus on an actual problem.
@@ichigokage yeah a lot of people think that they are teachers when they’re not sometimes teachers actually know what they’re doing and if you weren’t aware there’s a teacher shortage in this country and it’s because parents actually fuck with teachers really bad and have no clue what the fuck they are talking about so maybe you should actually think about what teachers have to put up with but if you don’t have kids then I don’t know why you’re even worrying about it
I agree, I also get annoyed with teachers who say "Don't come to my class doing another teacher's work" if the class work has already been done (this is justified if the student did not do the classwork). If the student is done with the test, assignment or whatever, don't force the student to sit quietly. Let the student get a head start on homework for that class if you won't let them do another teacher's work. Or if they want to read, even a comic book, that's fine.
@@dapperfan44 That is punishing productivity. If a child finishes my work satisfactorily, they are ENCOURAGED to finish work for another class!
My mom was an 80 and 90s mom. I remember being appalled when she thanked the teacher for giving me a D one quarter in math (I was a goodie two shoes straight A student until then) because I had started slacking and I needed to learn the repercussions of my behavior. I pulled my act together real quick and ended up with straight A's for the rest of the year. And pretty much the rest of the time I was in school. She was having none of that BS.
And those very same "TODAY" parents got a big a$$ dose of reality when the kids had to do virtual schooling. They saw just what the teachers go through.
If they were even home or just left them to their devices literally.
@@priscillajimenez27 true true
I have close friends whose children were doing distance learning for the first time. I swear I got calls just about every day of them complaining about the kids, the teacher, and that they were ready to send them back Covid be darned 🤣. I got to see it from the teachers side to because my brother and his wife are both teachers. I homeschooled (22+ years) mine from K-12, last one is on her way to UC Berkeley starting this summer. My friends all said I must be nuts for doing so. That they weren't meant to be around their children so much. I actually felt more sorry for the kids than I did the parents. I'm of the "teachers need to be paid like they were sports stars", because teaching is way more stressful than most sports.
Cheers to all of you Wonderful Teachers. May you stay safe as your schools open.
I’m a today parent. We switched to online school before the pandemic. Turned out it really was the teachers. My gifted kid is finally thriving academically.
@@amandab8433 Thank you for your support and your own outstanding work as a top-notch homeschooler who (along with your top-tier offspring) have the accolades to show for it, Amanda! Seeing other parents complain about having to actually spend time with their children during the course of the daily workweek was disgusting but at the same time not surprising to many of us teachers. Parents like that who treat spending time with their children and helping them grow as people as more of a punishment than an obligation are despicable. Thankfully, you are not like that at all, and your kids are much better off because of it! Well done on your part! And congratulations to your youngest on receiving admission to UC Berkeley! What is she planning on majoring in, if I may ask? :)
I'm a 90s mom. I'm shocked we have teachers at all nowadays with the disrespect they receive daily.
How are you doing 😊😊👋👋😊
I was born in 2000 and my mom did not get away with shit granted i had a iep cuz i have special needs but i still tryed my best
🤣😂😂🤣I'm a 90's student! I don't remember my parents ever going to a Parent-Teacher conference......WHY?
Because I was one of the best behaved children in my classes....WHY?
Because since I starting going to school, at any given moment...I could look up and See my MOM standing in the doorway! She didn't want anything, she just wanted to make sure I was acting, like I had some sense!
Even though both my parents have passed (Bless the dead) I don't show my behind, least I look up and see my MOM seeing ME act as if I don't have any home training!🤣😂🤣
Considering what they're allowed to teach, I barely see the point of school at all anymore. And that's not a dig against the teachers. It's a dig against our educational system. It's atrocious. There needs to be a national educational standard. Kids in Chicago need to be getting the same education as kids in Smallville, and the kids in Arkansas need to be getting the same education as kids in California.
I was an 80s kid, and all hellfire would rain down upon me if I acted up in class. As a teacher in the 2000s, I dealt with everything covered in this video. One of the many reasons I bailed on the profession.
As a second grade teacher, I've had to very tactfully tell parents (on several occasions) that I realize their child can do x,y, or z like a third grader (hence their supposed boredom), but when their actions are more like a kindergartner, we have to address that as well. This developmental aspect of a primary aged child is crucial to their future success as a human in society, but parents seemingly don't put much importance on that. In fact, it's probably the MOST important thing a young child needs to learn. Sadly, I don't see things turning around, not with the continual disconnect that technology brings with it. It's great for some things, but not for others. It's brought with it, the inability for children to communicate effectively with their peers OR adults/teachers. They're sat in front of a computer ...in the car, at dinner in a restaurant, at home on a rainy day AND on a sunny day, literally ALL the time. They never have to resolve problems, wait patiently, take their turn....act human, because their best friend is indeed, not human.
"When she's at school, she's your problem!" That is the amount of support we get from some parents, sad to say. Social decay is no joke, people.
But you have to look at it from the parents' perspective on that, because if you don't send your kid to school or you don't call the school to tell them your kid is sick and not going, they call the police and have the parent go to court and I have seen parents put in jail for that.
So if the school has that authority to send parents to jail, then the State has the authority to parent their child. Simple. Either recognize the fact that some parents object to mandatory public education, because when anything is mandatory and punishable by law, then the problem is that the School is now the State and has guardianship over the kids, even at home.
And this is not how it was before the 2010s. I hope you are smart enough to realize that if a mandatory law forces parents to turn over their children to a school that then is allowed to present anything to that kid that goes against anything the parents are trying to teach at home, then you teachers who allow this are all State Agents who have authority over children even at their homes. Do you get how Communist that you all have become and not even for a second think about it?
Any time any Agent of the State believes they have authority over parents even in the home, that teacher is not a teacher, that teacher is now the State. Do you get that one?
Have you ever acted as a State Agent in believing you have more authority than the parents and that you would not hesitate to get law enforcement called if the parents spoke out against you?
To my "state agent" friend, you have the option to homeschool, please use it.
I once got the “It’s not challenging enough for him…” comment. Made eye contact with the parent said that I’ll agree to making assignments “more challenging” when the student hands in all their missing assignments at an A level or higher. Asked if that sounded fair. The parent agreed and left. The assignments never manifested themselves. 😐
I once had a parent say to me, “Could you give my sons extra work for extra credit? They really want to learn and do more.” I told her, “They are welcome to learn more than what we are covering in class on their own anytime they like. They can go to the library, museums, read books, watch educational television, do internet research...”. The parent looked totally dumbfounded. It’s as if parents expect that 100% of their children’s learning, skill set and knowledge is supposed to come from school and nowhere else. And that teachers are nothing but robotic informants. 🙄
That really doesn't sound fair and is a fundamental misunderstanding of where the problem lay.
I don't have enough context to judge you the student or the mother, but it doesn't really look good for you if your an inflexible "one way to do things' kinda teacher....
Did you suggest that this student may be autistic? That is exactly what it sounds like. We can be very smart, but lack executive function. This is an executive function task. I would tell the mom to get him tested for autism and ADHD.
Like seriously 90% of the problems teachers are describing are from undiagnosed kids. Probably in the mid to mild spectrum. Studies show that between 50% to 75% of kids with ASD have a parent with it as well. So there is a reason the parents side with the kid we understand executive dysfunction because we have it.
@@Fizzypopization umm excuse you didn't you know that obviously any problem with a child is a discipline issue🙄
Seriously though almost all these teachers comments tells me that they don't get enough education to deal with the reality of students not fitting their expected mold.
It hard to get an A or better in a boring subject as your brain dims. I have been there and the number of stupid mistakes I made increased. There is a skill to addressing it but I never acquired it.
My daughter can be a bit of a challenge. Her teachers have had to have these chats with me. When we sit down I can see them cringe when they have to tell me she's not perfect. They expect "now mom" and visibly relax when they get 90s mom. It helps everyone when we support each other for the sake of the child versus excuses and blaming teacher for everything
Amen!!
That’s a really good way to put it. It is all for the child’s education and excuses help no one.
More parents should think and act like you do!! Educating children is a community effort- (parent-child-teacher)
Yes, but instead of taking one person's side, and assuming that the other person's perspective is skewed, we should try to gather more information from ALL sides of the story, before we decide who is in the right. This way, we can make sure that everybody involved feels heard.
@@leannestrong1000 True, but when many parents go to talk to the teacher "to get their side of the story" they approach it as if they stepping in to reslove a squabble between two children.
I'm a 00s kid and my mom was totally 100% the 90s mom. I learned a lot form her.
OMG!! The mentality of “You take care of her at school and I will at home. I’m not going to help you, I am too busy with my stuff.” Is so accurate!!! Wish it was still like how it was in the 90s!!
The parents of today were the children of the 90’s so obviously the parenting back then wasn’t that great
@@treywoodard3958 LOL! Said just like a Malignant Narcissist , which is one of the real problems in the current culture especially relating to Parents and their self - absorbed children . That and Social Media which wasn't around in the 90's .
When we teach children that excuses work, they will never learn to be accountable for themselves.
I agree!
Periodt!
I learned the hard way how true this statement is.
I’m a young student and I agree with u. Loads of people disagree and dislike teachers nowadays young people I mean teachers work hard and ur parents work hard for u to go to school and be educated and u just neglect that opportunity. Some people would die to have this opportunity yet some waste it
I mean that's true but some "excuses" are valid.
I swear, teachers could be up at the front in drag style costumes riding a unicycle and taming lions, tigers, and bears, and kids and parents would still call that a boring lesson 🤦♀️
True. I told my AP students I was going to “cut the bs” and only give them the work that is necessary for the AP exam. They told me that it doesn’t matter how few assignments I give, all of them are going to be viewed as busy work and therefore not be viewed as important information. I wished them luck on their AP exam.
@@Darkrai4294 don't leave me in suspense! How did they do?? Took a few AP classes in high school--I swear, college was easier 😖 and I was an As and Bs type kid whose mom would kiiill me if I talked to a teacher that way 😨
@@lexalina132 haha well, the ones that took the exam in May said they think they did well on the multiple choice. The free response section is very meticulous; considering my kids chose to ignore most of my tips (based on their homework), I doubt they did well. The digital version is on June 10, so i’m going to hope the rest of the kids do well.
The funny part is that I told my kids the digital version would be administered AFTER they have already graduated (I have seniors). They ignored me, signed up for it, then were surprised to “learn” that the test was in June.
@@Darkrai4294 oh bless their hearts! Oh well, good luck to them. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Hopefully you get an easier group next year!
@@lexalina132 next year will be an interesting year for all of us. Thanks for the support.
I'm retired. I went into teaching in my mature years. What you portrayed about teacher-parent meetings is so accurate. After nine years of being away from teaching and believe it or not it triggered me. I began to lose my vision in one eye while viewing this show. That says it all.
This is SO TRUE!! I started in ‘95 and just retired in ‘21 and BOY have parents changed!!
I'm a 90s mom all the way! 😂 The parents that act like the "today" mom are exactly what is wrong with society now. Poor teachers have enough to deal with... they shouldn't have to deal with your kid's nonsense. Learn to parent people.
You are an actual angel.
-teacher
@@taylorpalmer894 Aw thank you. Honestly though, you teachers are the angels! 💗
I love parents like you!!!
Where were you for me this school year?????
@@midnitcritic sequestered away, working my littles through distance learning. Yikes y'all! Mad respect for you teachers 👏
My mom was pretty much like the "now" moms. I remember after she had a chat with my teacher she started ranting about how it was the teacher's and school's fault. I was so embarasses for her and how she must have acted in front of my teacher that I agrued with her over how my teacher was definitely not at fault and was just doing her job and then apologizing to the said teacher the following day. All my teacher did was laugh and say that a lot of parents are like this and that even though i may not be as attentive or disciplined in the classroom I have common sense and know how to apologize when an apology is due. I never misbehaved in thay class again...
Omg! That’s awesome! I love it 😂🤙🏼
THANK you!
Luckily you learned common sense somehow. But there are kids who will smile when their teacher is getting yelled at by their parent by excusing the kid's behavior. So when that happens, the child will continue doing what they were doing in the classroom. Good for you though!!! I bet your teacher needed someone like you because parent conferences like that take a toll on one's mental
Yeah, scary when the kids have more sense than the parents.
I’m impressed. No more said. 😊
I can’t stop watching these! As a mother from the ‘90s all I can say is: Omg it’s a miracle there are any teachers at all!
I started teaching in the early 80's, so you can imagine the changes I've seen
with students AND parents alike. Glad I'm retired. My hats off to the teachers
of today and the efforts they make to educate students. I will pray for you!
I had a teacher who started teaching I think in 54 and retired in 2001. I can imagine all she saw. I know when she started cause my grandma was in her first class and I was a student of hers her last year of teaching. I think the fact that all the teachers were given a desktop computer and expected to use it is y she finally retired. She still hand wrote tests in cursive no less and copied them. A teacher at the school I'm still friends with I was talking to the other day told me she refused to use an electronic grade book and when the school went to printed report cards so she had to put the min the computer another teacher had to do it for her
I feel like parents today are too focused on trying to be friends with their kids instead of being parents. Kids need discipline in order to grow. There is plenty of time to be friends with your child after you have raised them to be a responsible adult.
When the kids had two homes and can choose which house to live in ... Then parents paneer to there every wish
So true! My mom was so strict with me when I was a kid, and I used to really resent her for it. Now granted, she wasn't perfect either, but no parent is, right? And I think that I've turned up fine. Now that I'm an adult, she's like my best friend, and I wouldn't change a thing ❤️
The only issiue with that statement is that is not always the case sometimes that strictness could lead to a falling out between parent and off spring sometimes even straight up murder. That's why there less strict these days it's beacuse there afraid they will lose there child forever and be alone forever.
yup....I've had parents that would literally agree with me, but would then mention that in front of their child they would have to disagree with me or else they fear they might lose their child's love....Smh...
Um no strict parenting is not the way to go. We gotta teach kids to grow using models from psychology in order to really engage with kids in the proper manner.
Should have seen mom's in the 70s all they had to do was call home once and the teachers didn't even have to say much because your mom would make you confess what you did..All mom had to say was " the school called today" you knew then you were in major trouble
And in the Catholic school if you acted up the nuns were allowed to take rulers and slap you across the knuckles with them.
Also paddling was allowed.
I went to school in the 70's, and there's not a jail big enough for those mothers.
@@cj8932 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@AmpleVibrations1 I remember being in the principals office in the 2nd grade, he had a paddle in the bottom right drawer of his desk. I got a choice, paddle or call my parents. I should have chose paddle.
I started teaching the the late 80's and retired in 2020. This is soooooo accurate. The difference is astonishing.
March 2020 saved me bc it was the last time I was in classroom before retirement. I loved teaching and could build partnerships with diverse families to build student success. The Bored Teachers videos I can watch provide some comic relief but almost 2 yrs later and my stomach still churns!
This is why I quit after 20 + years. 1990-2012. Sad how accurate this. A lot of parents today just don’t give a damn.
Yeah many of my former colleagues are just counting down til retirement bec they're so done.
The 90's teachers were the best. I owe you and all the 90's teachers everything. I had a rough childhood and those teachers saw potential in me. This project kid graduated with honors went to college on a scholarship and got a degree in Engineering. So I just want to say thank you @Whitneyfan 90 I appreciate you. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
@@PlussizeNatural101 I had good teachers in the 90s as well. 😊 There still are many good teachers now but I think many are burnt out from the kids with nowadays parents or being discouraged, especially when there are teacher now bending to the wills of these parents or being passive or permissive with the kids like many admin I've had the displeasure of working with.
@@PlussizeNatural101 Aww thanks so much sweetheart. Congratulations on all your success. Love reading stories like yours. Proud to say that I loved teaching in the 90’s.
Oh, parents give a damn. Schools and school boards and teachers just think they're superior and dgaf what parents think.
There should be a middle ground where children aren't smacked and beaten for making mistakes, but are also held accountable when they know how to behave in a classroom setting
Agreed.
I think a lot of the lack of discipline for students being held accountable for their words and actions in a classroom setting started to evolve when medical-psychological studies were conducted on children in/of the 21st Century and produced outcomes that supposedly showed that punishing schoolchildren by making them sit on the bench and taking away their recess altogether was "bad for child development, physically". While kids do need to run around, stretch their legs, and socialize with their peers, at the same time, recess and freedom are both privileges and responsibilities. And if a child is doing something dangerous to- or harassing a peer, then that privilege should be taken away until they learn their lesson! Even student timeouts are now being discouraged during school because (again according to these studies) students supposedly "miss too much learning when they are separated from the class". On the recess front: some schools and teachers sometimes have the "punished children" run laps around the yard or do community service instead of having their actual privileges removed. In my opinion as an educator, that doesn't solve anything. Running laps makes the kid look like a blur on the schoolyard when they are surrounded by all the other kids who are playing with each other. Therefore, the punished child running laps will sneakily head off to play with their peers and then throw a hissy fit when the teacher on yard duty tells them to continue running laps until the bell rings. Also: suspensions now take the form of in-school suspensions only--all because parents have to work and cannot be at home to monitor their punished kids. In-school suspensions don't solve any problems either because all that the "suspended" kids do all day is sit in the office and do the same schoolwork that their peers are doing. They just aren't physically in the classroom at that time. Many schools no longer have students serve detention either, yet no alternative has been invented for that form of discipline. Whether a disciplinary action is old school or not, until the day arrives when all children arrive at school 100% ready to learn, work hard, and be respectful of everybody in their surroundings 24/7, disciplinary actions will need to be enforced 'round the clock on (and off) school grounds. When the adult parties fail to follow through on their ends on those fronts, then the kids win and everything goes straight to hell in a hand basket. And any adult out there who is afraid of children, period, deserves a one-way ticket to their local mental hospital.
Absolutely
No one is smacking or beating.
They can simply be allowed to drop out and attend mandatory work… I personally hated school yet LOVED to work.
I’m so glad I finally retired! Some parents make it nearly impossible to teach these days. Love and prayers for the next generation of teachers.
Oh my goodness! This is so true. I have been teaching over 25 years and this is spot on accurate! Love your channel. I don't feel alone and unheard any more.
Lol the "90s moms" are still out there and as I teacher I love them! But yeah, if I had a nickel for every time I heard some version of "my child is just too smart to act properly in school."
Heard that too
Yeah. They have a lot of energy. Or they are just highly creative. Blah, blah, blah.
I said, “We have been trying to get a hold of you. We have sent you several messages on...”
Parent- (cutting me off) “Yeah, well all the messages are kind of a lot. To be honest, I just don’t even pay attention to them anymore.”
Mine are cell: ring, ring, we are sorry the vm has not been connected or you have reached a number that has been disconnected
Or...the voice mailbox is full and can't receive any new messages...
Uugh the struggle is real with that
We had a mom shut off her phone during school hours and another who ignored the school number but picked up if we called with one of our cell phones.
Had a mom once who never returned my voicemails or anything so I made a comment to another colleague how (at least in this district) is illegal for the parent to not allow is to have contact with them and as negligence, CPS can kick in. Apparently the kid heard me and told her mom...NOW the next day we get a letter from the mom responding but not to the messages sent to her but how upset she was to hear that her child heard that. Uh well it's the truth.
I taught in a public high school for over 20 years and what you are portraying is ABSOLUTELY TRUE! of many American parents. Buy the parents of my ESL students were very supportive. I appreciate your spot-on video! 😀
As someone with a close friend in the school industry, I can say that this is 100% accurate. I swear, the stories he tells me.
"Do I call you when I have problems with her at home?" No, because yall aren't CO-PARENTING.
I know! That’s not her child? She didn’t birth her. Lol
But you are parenting when you are a teacher. Parents can't be expected to physically stop their kids from misbehaving in school. Not only is it impossible. It makes no sense. Schools are actually responsible for the kids in their care. So are teachers. So you are parenting when you take them. Don't want to do it? Don't be a teacher.
@@Fizzypopization yes but we bring it to their attention because they have more ways to give them consequences at home. There’s only so much a teacher can do. You’ll see students not care when they get in trouble because parents DON’T CARE. But if we work as a team, the student has no choice but to behave. Teachers aren’t just throwing the problem onto them, they expect teamwork to correct the behavior.
I had parents tell me they have trouble at home and guess what. I refer them to the counselor, I refer them to family services, I call in and check on them, if they are hungry, I feed them. If they don’t have a sweater, decent shoes, or ANYTHING, I make sure I help. I don’t just say, “hey, that’s your problem, that happens at home”. It goes both ways.
@@Fizzypopization teachers can't parent every kid. They have way too many. Where I live they have upwards of 26 or more kids. Tell me how many parents parent that many kids. It is the parents responsibility to correct a behavior issue that a teacher brings up as a concern.
They’re not co-teaching either, right? School is mandatory by law, yet a waste of time.
This is why I quit teaching.
Me too!!! Haha
Oohh noo!!! I'm so sorry for you!! I'm a student but I feel u cz I've seen some parents do that to some of my favorite teachers🙁 I didn't have much problems though😊
@@user-friendly9969 I’m glad you didn’t have any problems. MOST of my students were amazing. I loved them. But (in my experience) principals and parents made it difficult to really teach. I also spent 80 hours a week at work, so I had to leave and choose something else that gave me better work/life balance. Be kind to teachers! They have hard jobs! Best wishes to you!
Same here!
It’s also why after my experience teaching from 2001-2016 & seeing my now 23 yo go through the public school system, top schools btw, we are sending our youngest through Waldorf schools. The parents I dealt with blaming me for their child’s behavior got to be way too much!!
Oof
My daughter and I just had a conversation about the differences in school back when I went in the 70’s and 80’s compared to now. I’m a little older mom and can’t understand this behavior in parents.
I love these videos. I make my kids watch some of them. They aren’t allowed to be disrespectful to any school staff. Of course, it’s also making them a little outcast with the other kids, but I also had to homeschool for a couple of years (too long of a story for here). So, that didn’t really help.
Anyway, I hope we wake up as a country soon and start showing a lot more respect for teachers. We are headed on a dangerous path when we think so little of education.
this is very accurate and hilarious because I had a. 90s parent and she was definitely portrayed accurately.. the parent today entitle their children and we wonder why the world is the way it is.😂😂😂😂 this was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh
I actually taught secondary for a few years in the early 90s. Then there was a big gap. Then I started again around 2011.
Yes, I saw some of this, but the most important factor in classroom management is how much the administration supports the teachers and has a concise and consistent discipline policy.
How doe this comment not have more likes?! This is so accurate!
@@sweetpea74127 - Why, thank you very much, indeed!
So basically, there's no discipline at school or at home? 😩
@@jacquelinele9170
Every school is different and every home is different and every kid is different. Some kids are angels at schools and demons at home and vice versa - even twins are different.
Admistration support more the kids. They don’t want referrals which are lowering the school performance, therefore their own evaluation. Consequently, we have entered in the endless cycle of mediocrity with the goal of 90% graduation rates!!! It’s called No Child Left Behind ;)
I work at a children's store, so I get little glimpses into how parents raise their children. Based on the apathy and lack of discipline I see from many parents (or the flip side, mental & physical abuse), I don't know how teachers do it. I couldn't.
One thing I’m grateful for is that my parents were always 90’s parents (then again, I grew up in the 90’s as a kid then went into the 2000’s once I hit puberty). If I misbehaved, I feared for my life lol.
I'm in high school today but my parents expected me to be on my best behavior when I was in elementary. If I got one call home, or one missing assignment, I would be disciplined no matter how I fought back (not physically, more like time-out). The worst was the spelling practice, but I now understand, it needed to be done, and now I am in more advanced classes not missing a single assignment even though my parents are not as strict on me. I appreciate their parenting style, and it is a shame that other parents don't do that believing that their kid needs to stand up for themselves in that way, quite sad. While I agree they need to on some occasions, missing assignments and classroom behavior are not in that category
My kiddo is still too young to be in school, but when she is she’s gonna learn to be accountable over her education. That is just not negotiable in this house.
I’m a daycare teacher who thanks you
As a 90’s teen I dreaded getting a bad report. My momma would have killed me.
How are you doing 😊😊😊👋😊☺️
No joke! My brother, as an '80s teen, changed his grades on his report card. My dad already knew what was on them. Guess who worked all summer w/o pay?
And I'm a '90s teen. There is an 11 year difference between us.
Same!
I’m so grateful for this channel. It’s so nice to know other teachers hear these same things from parents.
Legend has it that the 90s parent in this video is the parent of the today parent in this video.
This gave me flash backs and ptsd from my teaching days
Same here! 😂
Literally me too
As a teacher this feels too real
Omg🤦♀️So accurate! They don't make Mamas like they used to. 🤣
That was so on point and it’s pitiful!!! I always told my parents in the beginning of the year that “I’m old school”, but a little flexible!!!
My mom was absent for 100% of the parent-teacher conferences - not surprising. I went myself to take notes, and was always able to fix my grades in record time by the end of the semester. So I think I'd be the 90s mom in a future situation.
When we move them way from other students, then we are mistreating your child and isolating them. No you just need to teach your child how to behave... It starts at HOME, first line of defense
Amen!
I was a talker all through school. I got moved often. I never felt isolated. I'd be a little embarrassed for getting called out, but I'd adjust, make a new friend and start talking again. 😏 Then the teacher moved me next to their desk.... Then I just wanted to talk to the teacher instead of doing my work lol.
😂😩 This makes me want to laugh and throw frustration punches. It is an absolute shame how educators are treated. And yes, this is completely accurate. SHADE!!!
Yes Ma'am 😀 you got this spot on! I would be telling my child " You just wait til i get you home and your father hears about this"
( for 2 parent family) you are sooo grounded!
Besides the endless paperwork, parents are the worst thing about teaching!! Thankfully i have been very blessed to have many good parents over the years.
Yes, dealing with parents who are set in their ways, have axes to grind, are 100% career driven in their lives, and just downright narcissistic, are the absolute worst! And when they tell teachers how to do their job, they are a hopeless case.
@@munimathbypeterfelton6251 if only the parents I dealt with were career driven! Most of the ones I dealt with had a minimum wage job or none at all and lived off the system and the check they got for their child being classified and MAYBE child support. So when I'd ask the kids what they wanna be when they grow up they look confused or say nothing like their parents.
Well, would you take a look at this fine example of superiority complex....
As a teacher and a mother, I lean heavily towards the “90s mom”. Maybe it also has something to do with having been a student during that time and my parents acting like that with me.
🙋♀️
Too much political correctness of whatever. No one is saying that it's okay to assault your children, but a firm belt across the backside is not assault. Be a parent when issues arise, and be a friend when they come to you for support or answers.
Retired NYC teacher. You are 100% correct! Totally correct and I was the head Dean, with 12 deans working with me. On point!
She's the greatest actress! Haha, love it. Excellent teacher.
I'm a school bus driver. I ALWAYS assign seats to my students. An absolute comical and sad thing is when halfway through the year a parent (or teacher at that) asks me if their child can sit directly behind me... which is typically for the children who are in trouble anyways. Hmmmmm..... maybe I should BUILD a school bus with 20 seats sitting directly behind the busdriver.... because ALL 20 children who cannot behave on my bus are ALSO the SAME 20 "victims" who just told their sob story to their mother to make their mother show up at my school bus door. Literally occured this way one day: Parent: my child told me another child hit him. Me: Who hit you? Child: Can't give me a name or a description of who hit him. Me: I'm very sorry, but still would like for you to sit in your assigned seat.... but (to bus monitor) can you please watch and see who is hitting this child? I will take care of it.
By the time we arrived at the school, which is ONLY 30 minutes later. Bus Monitor: I know who is hitting this child. Me: okay, who? Bus monitor: NOBODY. Child of discussion is hitting literally everyone else... and this other child has a bloody nose.
I feel for you. I'm a parent that has 2 boys that made problems on the bus so I was outside everyday when they get dropped off and the bus driver will give me and thumbs up or down to let me know how the ride went that day. My boys know they got a talk and extra chores at home if they got a thumbs down.
Idk... the only problem is... it actually frequently happened that way... minus the bloody nose. The problem is parents genuinely believe "their child would never do"... and when the child tells ONLY the childs side of the story, they leave out the details that depict that the teller did anything wrong. Parent gets mad, believing their child is the ultimate victim "because their child would ALSO NEVER lie..." and shows up at my bus door. It is a very unfortunate thing that if a parent is trusting the district and state with the care of their child, that the person the State has entrusted with the care of ALL of the children on the bus is the BUS DRIVER. It is either a fortunate or unfortunate thing that that means I have to make discipline decisions based on MY best judgement and sense of fairness... not what someone shows up at my bus door to complain about. Reality determines that between the bus Monitor and I, we actually see and hear a few more details about the behavior of everyone and will actually work to unify the children riding the bus and attempt to teach them how to get along with one another.
Ultimately, for better or worse... As the Driver I am the person responsible for the school bus and every child on it.... so if you would please stop TRYING to tell me how to do my job based on a childs single sided story, the State already gave me instructions and I will get back to the job I was entrusted with....
Rebekah Barney. I am grateful for and wish for more parents like you. I also use the thumbs up or down signal when a parent will actually watch for it. Sometimes there are even time I have to continually keep the same children because parents are frequently not home to receive a child the districts policy says is too young to be home alone.
Kids are a reflection of the parents. Public school teachers really should be paid minimum 90k a year with all the bs they have to go through and all the effort it takes to do their job!
Now that’s an idea. Maybe the parents can even chip in some tuition , too so that when their money is involved , they will make sure their child is “there to learn”.
Yes!!
I absolutely agree! However, as a private school teacher, I have to say that many of those tuition-paying parents today actually use their money to bribe the school and its teachers to give their kids special treatment along the lines of disregarding discipline and awarding their kids higher grades than they deserve. Either that, or they threaten to sue the school over “discrimination against their children” and unenroll their kids to boot. It’s ugly! But it’s more of a modern parenting thing. Private school families used to ensure that their kids worked hard and were respectful of their teachers no matter what in previous generations of pupils.
@@munimathbypeterfelton6251 disgusting! I guess it’s bc the wealthy parents are used to buying their way in general. They have no moral compunction. I was raised old school by immigrant parents and my mom breathed fire down my neck when it wasn’t necessary bc I was a good kid. Went to private school and worked hard. My mom always told me she’ll take the side of the teacher in a heartbeat. I’m 34 now, today’s kids are beyond scary. Much grace and peace to you!
@@ashr.2315 In my country, and some other sane countries, teachers are paid like professional in other fields. While monthly tuition fee is as cheap as one starbucks coffee (or even none).
In my experience, this could just as easily be titled "Teaching in the City vs. the Suburbs" with the city being the 90s.
This video is so on point! I actually thought about being a substitute teacher but no thank you I'm not dealing with the foolishness of parents and I not being on the same page about ANYTHING!
Idk why but her voice is SO mesmerizing omg
Southern accent. Proud to be from the South too 🙌🏼
Whew...you don’t know fear until someone offers to help you find your mind when you lost it.
I work in medicine, and it can be so difficult to see parents who don't want to discipline or interact with their children, but are quick to bring them to us to try to get them diagnosed with a psychological problem. Sometimes bad behavior is just bad behavior!
truth
Omg! This is so accurate. Circumstances allowed me to retire from teaching early and it wasn’t until after I wasn’t teaching did I realize just how burnt out I was. One of the most disheartening things was how adversarial the relationship with some parents had became. We still had a lot of great parents but a few meetings like the one in the video would just suck the life out of you. It went along with administration that provided zero backup. Much as I loved actually teaching the kids, I am so glad to be retired and would advise anyone to think long and hard about the downsides before they became a teacher
My mom in the 90s.....this is so accurate! I was always taught to take the teacher's concerns seriously
How are you doing 😊😊😊👋👋
Why is this sooooo true, teachers are having to correct behaviors more in their classrooms than actually teaching!! Like come on, we’re teachers not parents 😆
A few years ago (before I left) I met an African (I forget what country) who visited our school. He observed it for a day and told me that it seemed more like babysitting than an academy. He and a few others at the end of the prayer for the school before he left.
Aldo the parents need to discipline their children
If you are taking care of a kid you have to expect to correct their behaviors. It's unreasonable to expect children to behave without any parental contact for 8 hours while they are in YOUR CARE. lmao. This unrealistic expectation that kids are adults is the problem.
I love you! You depict the two kinds of parents here so well. Great job bringing up this problem.
Teachers need our support. God bless them! My niece is a teacher and what she shares with me is unreal. She wants to leave the classroom. Btw, she was teacher of the year for her district.
As a child of the 80’s, an educator and a parent, I have so many reasons to laugh at this! Thank you for posting this 😊
I’m sorry us parents today aren’t as tough love as our parents were. I hope you get some better parents who still remember their job is to support their child by supporting their teachers 💜
Yeah part in reason, I got whipped if I misbehaved. If I smack my child up side their head are you going to call CPS on me?
Teachers teach. Parents parent. The more the family breaks down and the state takes over, the more people will realize the school cannot teach AND parent kids. They only see them part of the day, after all.
Two parents have their hands full parenting a single child. How are schools supposed to fill that role when there's a single teacher for thirty kids? States are incompetent and inept at everything they do, there's no way they can actually contribute meaningfully to raising children.
This is the absolute truth. Sad times we're living in.
This is SO MUCH ON POINT!!!! Before I retired, I lost count of the number of times parents were yelling: "How DARE you say NO to MY CHILD!!!" It was RIDICULOUS!!!!
This is sooooo spot on. The parents are too focused on being their children's bestees instead of being their PARENTS. So their kids/best friends are never wrong.
Exactly. It’s all to uphold insecurities of their own that these parents have. Some parents have even told me “If I discipline my child, they won’t like me anymore.” Yowza!
The parent is best friend started in the 90s so I think the 90s parent here is really the 1980s parent.
@@latsnojokelee6434 nah my mom raised me in the 90s and didnt tolerate that mess. Neither did my classmates parents
Yup trying to be the "cool parent" instead if a good parent
Watching this video made me sad for teachers and for students. I began teaching in the 70’s, and I am recently retired. I witnessed the changes in parent support over the years. There are still great parents, but the ones who do not teach their children to be respectful and be accountable for their actions are doing a disservice to their children and to the teachers who pour their lives into their students everyday.
I really enjoy this video, and I'd like us to consider a couple of things. First, classroom sizes are just too big. I almost can't blame kids for disruptive behaviors. How can a teacher really know so many students and meet their needs? And second, I think we put too much emphasis on the teacher being interesting and too little into high-quality, literary, primary source content with much shorter class times. And, finally, bring long PE and recess back! Kids need to get outside and have some unstructured time! Especially up through middle school.
I saw a photo of a local grade school with all the students in attendance taken in 1956. They had 50 kids per classroom. When I asked the lady that was sharing her 3rd-grade pic how the teachers coped she said ' the moms took turns coming in to ensure everyone behaved. Parent volunteer days were not optional and the moms went to the classrooms/playgrounds they were most needed, not the classrooms with their children. I'm not sure the 'now mom' would be an asset, but some of them might get a clue. Of course, now we would need to fingerprint them before allowing them on school grounds.
How about parents actually Parenting and teaching their children a few basics at home?
Start with the definition of respect.
I agree, it was a funny video, and I think that there's a happy middle ground somewhere between these two extremes, where teachers and parents can approach the situation with more compassion and curiosity about what's going on and how to improve things. I think teachers do this for the most part, and that parents with either of these extreme attitudes must be difficult to deal with.
Maybe they shouldn't make PE an actual graded class that you can fail. I know so many kids who hated PE because of being graded on how fast they can run a mile. Pretty much everyone I graduated high school with thought PE was boring. They really need to learn how to make PE engaging to kids nowadays. Maybe introduce sports that aren't so reliant on brute force, like dance or gymnastics, and maybe try to encourage students to help the students that are struggling. The whole idea of physical fitness testing is stupid and outdated. It was literally invented to measure how fit students were to join the military. I'm not saying that PE shouldn't exist, but maybe make it about learning to enjoy being outdoors vs trying to pass another class.
Thank you for your content! I am new to teaching and your videos help me laugh when I feel like crying.
So painfully true. One of the main reasons I left the profession.
I’m totally the 90s mom. I grew up in a strict house and I am glad because it’s what made me who I am.
Ooh weee. As a retired teacher, this almost gave me ptsd again. You're way too good at impersonating these people!
Hilarious video. The best lessons are learned through laughter & engaging examples of our own behavior and making corrections or wind up as cautionary tales. You're a natural teacher...
My husband is a teacher and yes this is accurate. Many parents feel their children are little angels.
I've overheard conversations when parents threaten teachers and faculty.
Oh yeah, it's like dealing with a crazy customer in a retail outlet. Not pretty at all. Parents like that have axes to grind that extend well beyond the school, and they just use teachers and faculty as punching bags. And the pathetic thing is that some of these parents are actually pretty well-educated. I mean, they would have to be to get their high-paying jobs that can afford them and their children all these fancy luxuries: iPhones, the latest fashion trends, brand new cars, fees for every single extracurricular activity and sports team out there. Therefore, a well-educated parent should support the education that a teacher is providing their child, not defame it.
@@munimathbypeterfelton6251 many parents I dealt with weren't well educated and seemed to not want better for their kids. The name brand stuff they got was from welfare checks, plus their minimum wage job, MAYBE child support, and checks that they get if their child is classified. And we've had many if them threaten us system wise and physically wise.
@@priscillajimenez27 so basically, these parents come from every income bracket? Lol
These videos you do are GOLD! 🪙
Oh Lord, this is SO ACCURATE! I've taught since the early '90s and the differences are incredible. So on point and very well done.
This is so accurate, it hurts. Had a parent demand a parent teacher meeting to talk about her daughter. Mind you, she demanded that meeting. I was actually glad about it, because her daughter was causing quite the trouble in my classroom, being disrespectful, disrupting class, having an attitude, attacking other students verbally, not handing in her assignments, the list goes on. I had to send the mother a letter, notifying her about the behavior. So I was happy to get the opportunity to talk to her. Until she came to my classroom. She didn't even bother to say hello. The first words that came out of her mouth were 'What's your problem with my daughter?' and flabbergasted me blank stared at her for a second before I mustered up the courage to ask 'Actually, I'd like to know what your daughter's problem with my class is.' The woman was livid. She screamed at me for 15 minutes that I was incompetent, that I was bullying her daughter, that I didn't know how to do my job, that I was being disrespectful sending her that letter notifying her about her daughter's misbehavior and so on. I now know where her daughter gets this behavior from... No more questions.
I would think that the NUT did not fall far from that tree!!!!!
Make a video with parenting from the 70’s… if the teacher called a parent meeting… the child was automatically wrong and the parents always backed up the teacher… we were always told, “ if the principal knows you by name, that’s not a good thing”… lol
Amen!!❤🙏🏾
He'd know them by name any how since the paper work is on file...lol. make the kids scared of the principal...awesome. lol
That sounds messed up
That is pretty insane! Parents should at least try to look through the situation.
@@juliuscaesar5397 I was thinking that myself. The constant threat a child must feel in that situation must be awful.
😂😂😂😂😂so accurately well done! You have lost your mind and I'm about to help you find it! Love it!
This video is the best ! Every thing you said is so right. Thank you for sharing this.
This is exactly why I never got into teaching. 2 of my sisters are teachers... Lordy... I don't know how they do it. 🤦
I have worked with students and parents as a nurse... Some parents broke my heart when I call them about their child's health, they snap back at me because I'm bothering them. Sad.
We've had parents keep their kids home but when they're sick, they bring them to school. I had a student once having a mild asthma attack, and the nurse wanted to call an ambulance and the mom didnt want her to. She did anyways and the initially the aunt was gonna meet them at the hospital... this same kid was hit by a car years back...
I had a student who was sick and literally stayed in the nurses office all day because the mom wouldn’t pick up her phone. The same kid was in our after school program and every time she pick him and his siblings up at 5:30, her ear was ALWAYS attached to her cell phone. The nurse said she did the same thing the years before. 🤦🏾♀️
This brings back some SAD memories. When I was working as an administrative secretary in a school, my office had to contact the parents of a kid who expressed suicidal ideation. Parent's response? "Why are you bothering ME about this?!? YOU'RE the school! DEAL with it!" WTH?!?!
This is awesome😆 " I don't call you when I have a problem at home" this is gold
I’m like: No one does when they only have SOME of their own children 24/7 (except granny or babysitter), she don’t have an Entire classroom at home of 20 or more kids or teenszz!!
This is so hysterical. And on point. Good Job!
I absolutely love watching you. So true.
This is so accurate parents suck these days
I wish this was false. But oooooh it’s so true 🙄
You are spot on! I can't believe I'm just now seeing this! I love your channel so much and am just waiting to use some of your responses!!
I love it. It makes me cry, so accurate it is.