Revisiting the Types: ENFP
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
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Original ENFP video: • The Sixteen Types: ENFP
heavens to betsy its a patreon account: / michaelpierce
Video Script: subjectobjectmi...
ITS DONE ITS DONE HAHAHA. Took long enough.
Table of Contents
General Sketch: 0:22
Dominant Ne: 3:33
Auxiliary Fi: 11:45
Tertiary Te: 17:37
Inferior Si: 20:42
Sources: 22:27
"They love to love." Couldn't explain me better.
"Terry loves love!"
Yeah! But a lot of us are a bit scared of it 😂
Me too. I even feel fuzzy over my friends.
Same
Aww.
What's interesting is that I'm pretty good at picking up emotional cues if it involves two other people misunderstanding each other. I can read both people and see what is happening. It's just when I'm personally involved/invested that I have a hard time accepting that when other people are not conforming to my "obviously right" ideals, it's because they have something they also value or are experiencing that I'm refusing to hear.
Regarding the "dangerous blindness", I think turning toward the heart feels like reaching for spiritual/transcendent truth in a world that is overwhelmingly non-ideal. It feels like in a world that is dark with confusion and pain, I have to find some kind of light by which to see, otherwise I will be lost in that darkness. I'm trying to see underneath reality and find the principle with which reality can make sense again. Whether or not you think this is a deeper truth or a delusion I suppose would depend on your spiritual beliefs or whether you believer there is a kind of knowledge accessible to the heart that is not accessible to the mind. Either way, I couldn't operate without that sense of alignment. I wouldn't just feel blind, I would feel *wrong*.
If I'm just being stubborn about a principle, that's ego, but when I go inside to truly find the truth of things, I'm trying to find my way past ego to something else, something spiritual that feels more real to me than anything else.
yes! this, 1000%!
😭😭😭
Beautiful translated thought thank you.
True ENFP communication badassness. ^ 🙌🏼
Idk I laugh before, after, and during the telling of the joke.
same 😫
Same 😂
yeah me too
Glad to see you mention the compulsive aspect of ENFPs. Not something I often see in their type descriptions.
🎯🎯🎯
ENFP lawyer here… that is especially true when I have to prepare for a high stakes situation!
100% true on the humor
Really? As an Enfp that was the one thing I wasn't sure about? I mean it's true I don't laugh till the end of the joke? But deadpan??
i can be very deadpan lol. i also use and enjoy dark humor quite a bit....i often laugh when im not "supposed" to...my best friends sense child hood are INTJ ENTJ INTP ESTJ. so i picked it up maybe
I think it's quite accurate, at least for the ENFP I lived with for a year. He was very involved with the Israel - Palestine conflict (obviously pro-Palestine) and cared a great deal about trying to improve the situation there, he's been there multiple times to help out how he could. At the same time though he was not fussed about making very cruel jokes about blowing up Jews with a serious face, followed by a nervous laugh and quickly explaining it was a joke and he didn't actually mean it, although there was some truth in it xD.
I also think it's quite accurate myself, as me being an ENFP. It reminds me of when iwas watching The Belko Experiment with my INTJ friend, and one of the employees in the movie became so wicked, he began butchering his coworkers in the most savage and ill intent way to a point of where one of the female coworkers witnessed him killing another one of his coworkers, who mind you, before the experiment began, was one of his closest friends, yet had it in him to butcher him in the most brutal way... But yet when it came for his time to be murdered, icaught myself along with my INTJ friend who've also noticed, ijokingly yet at the same time not jokingly encouraged his death, and as iwas saying it, ican definitely say subconsciously it was of a "deadpan" nature, then right after ichuckled, then came to my senses of how dark that joke was, and ended up laughing about it after. A day later, we started getting into personality types and came across this video, and as soon as Michael mentioned the deadpan part about our jokes, it immediately reminded me of that moment. Haha, and I ended up bursting out laughing coming to that realization and of how spot on he was. §öphişt I can probably say his friend is an ENFP because I understand where that dark humor can come from, which ifeel and believe stems from the Fi function. We internalize our values, and when we come across things that may go against those developed values.. lol... we may in a sense become sensitively insensitive of the antagonistic ways of a person seeing it through a sense of novelty. In a way i's like a subtle oxymoron.
Yes, I can't believe how accurate this is.
I am an ENFP and this video was made on my birthday :)
Haha, stuff like that always makes me smile.. 😏 Love to see it..!
I feel like the Mau situation is more of an unhealthy Fi than a well-developed one... I'm an ENFP and I'm so insanely in tune to the emotions of people around me that in that scenario I'd start feeling uncomfortable and blame myself for suggesting a game that wasn't being enjoyed... then I'd retreat inwards for a bit and feel bad, while trying to think of other things to play.
Personally, I remember playing Mau for the first time and being in that exact situation as your ISTP friend... I felt stupid and stressed by not finding direct patterns in the rules, and was extremely aware of others' amusement at my confusion. I kept playing, because my Ne kept speculating that the game could be fun (and Ne was NOT about to back down from the challenge of deciphering the cryptic patterns), and Fi reminded me how the others were having fun and had good experiences with the game, so I should at least humor them, despite feeling slightly hurt by their enjoyment of my discomfort.
I'd never want to put anyone in a situation they feel unhappy with, and my humor, though dark or deadpan at times, still doesn't tend to be at another's expense. I don't like labelling people as "good" or "bad," and _certainly_ not "expendable," because no dichotomy or box can accurately label people in their entirety. All in all, great video! You know a lot about mbti and its inner-workings. However, I personally find the description on an ENFP lacking energy to be inaccurate, though it might apply for some (damn Ne)
I just realized that I wrote this like a true ENTP would... but I promise I'm an ENFP :P
***** lol sorry I don't think ENFPs or any type are by all means perfect, just that being in tune with our emotions is a heavily influential part of our Fi. There are definitely ENFPs with unhealthy Fi but that's not always an accurate representation of the type itself :)
***** Oh, you should read about the cognitive functions! Fi is Introverted Feeling (an ENFP's second/auxiliary function) it's kinda hard to explain... but there's a lot of info on all the functions online! They're waaay more reliable than just going letter by letter or taking the online quizzes :)
***** no problem! Hope you have fun :D
That sounds like an ENFJ.
But that Mau scenario made a lot of sense for me. Especially when I was younger, I'd do things like that. As I got older, I still push people to try new things that I've enjoyed in the past, but if they look really uncomfortable or they're not enjoying it, I'll also relate that to times I've been forced to do things I hate.
I feel like it took a lot of time to develop a sense of when to push people and when to let them be and it only happened through experience.
Michael, This seems like you've had some bad experiences with an ENFP. There is an outside element of maturity and ability to learn that is missing from your description. After unintentionally hurting a couple friends as a teenager, and hearing my best friend say, "Don't worry about it, Kathryn just says things sometimes," I realized that I needed to pay attention more to others feelings. I test strongly as an ENFP, but I have been told that I am adept at sensing others moods and feelings. As an ENFP, I will almost self destruct if I know that I've hurt someone. If someone doesn't want to play a game or is hesitant, I will quickly change plans whether it's what I want to do or not. I feel that my time spent studying self-differentiation, Bowen Theory, has helped me become a much happier, calmer ENFP, as well as being able to see my own feelings as separate from others. I'm 48 and still on a quest to accept my ENFP qualities (I was married to an ESTJ for 27 yrs and felt like I was intensely defective from birth....and why can't I just be more organized?). While accepting my ENFP-ness, I want to also be sensitive and accepting to others...always. So I am studying the other types in hopes that I will be. I'm an inner-city school teacher; sensitivity to others experiences and realities is an essential must.
Well said!
Wow, self-differentiation.. That's a've been thinking about for the past few days & u've given me a term for it now, thank u.. 📝
Sometimes I feel like I know a person well enough that I just know they will have fun doing something but then they don't wanna do it. Unlike the story I'm almost always right and that person ends up having fun.
So interested in you experience with ESTJ marriage. I’m newly married to ISTJ, and I’m learning a LOT. 😂 Has not been easy. Love him to death, but we could not be more opposite so much of the time, and so I’ve found myself trying more than ever to understand myself from, and him, through these type videos. Would be interested in your experience if you’re willing to share.
Along these lines, when he was mentioning the story about his ENFP friend sharing her game, I do stuff like this and obsess about them enjoying it but the second I remember that them not enjoying it is a possibility I get entirely too anxious and I continually repeat “ if you don’t like this we can do something else” then I forget to enjoy it because I’m too worried they aren’t and then I wonder if I’m annoying them by asking if they like it. Then they’re probably annoyed I keep asking them
"That peculiar terror that an ordinary or small mistake will have unbelievably disproportionate consequences which they sense with far more vividness than what is really going on before them." This is exactly what I do as an ENFP with perfectionism. Wow. Just hearing it described this way is so validating. Yes.
I've been deep diving into ENFP stuff for weeks but your video is one of the best things I've seen. Thank you for your apt observation of our complex serious-kid nature and spot-on description of my joke delivery. ;) I see and appreciate you and this effort!
As an ENFP, I must say that the ENFP's actions in the Mau anecdote are pretty accurate to how I tend to to react in similar situations. As open-minded and agreeable as I try to be, there are always going to be at least a few things that I simply cannot accept as anything but truth; I'm stubborn. I guess you could say that there are hobbies and ideologies that I've spent so much time accepting as a positive thing, or absolutely right in the face of a world full of ambiguity... And then to have that thing suddenly questioned by someone with the opposite opinion, I get a little defensive. Not to the point where I make a huge deal out of it (people are people, we're going to disagree), but it's definitely something I find discomforting at the very least. This feeling is only made worse when the opposing side doesn't explain their position well, or they judge it on criteria that is flat-out ridiculous or stupid in my eyes. For example, when I was younger and talking to some fellow theatre kids my age, one boy said how he hated the musical Wicked. Being a fan of the show myself, I was shocked to hear this, and asked for the reason for his dislike. He said, and I quote, "It makes non-theatre people think they're theatre people." This illogical judgement criteria baffled me to say the least. A more recent example is from this summer when I was out on a date with my (now ex) girlfriend (an ESFJ). Just to engage in conversation, I asked her what her favorite movie was. She answered Finding Dory, which we had just seen the week prior. I asked "What made it your favorite movie?" And she answered "Because I saw it with you." I said "Awe, that's sweet, but what did you REALLY like about it?" She answered "I just said why, silly. I saw it with you, and that made it my favorite movie." As someone who spends a decent amount of time analyzing pieces of entertainment that I enjoy, this baffled me that someone could legitimately judge a movie based off of outside criteria unrelated to said movie. I suppose this is all just nature of the ENFP. Either that or I'm just a weirdo. Or both for that matter.
I'm like that with music. I can't understand how my ISTJ brother hates music, so sometimes I'll turn it off, but other times I'll blast it loudly without empathy for him, because I love music so much, why can't he love it too. Its this stubborn cycle, but I've learnt to accept it and keep my music to myself, only sharing it with everyone else who loves it. Makes me sad though because it feels like my love for music is invalidated by a single other person, an individual, which sounds strange cause you would think Fi respects individuals.
@@caramelunicorn8023 Same!!
On comparing ENTP vs ENFP, the energy I get from an ENTP feels more like a prism being held to a window, and the refractions and spectrum of colors and lights that can be scientifically traced back to a cold hard object like a quartz prism (Ti). The energy from an ENFP feels more like that of a firework show. There is a very quick explosion of colors and excitement in one place and then another of explosion in another unrelated part of the sky, and all that is determining them is the whim of a passionate artist (Fi) who is excitedly firing them into the night.
I can tell you why the ENFP kept playing the Mau game. I’m an ENFP. I can always tell that people are getting annoyed with me and what I want to do. Most of the time I stop if I’m surrounded by people I love and respect but if I’m getting into an idea or story or game and I can tell no one wants to participate I will keep going out of spite. I know it’s not healthy but I find amusement in it because I’m good at pretending I don’t know what’s going on. I know I’m being annoying but I do it on purpose for my own entertainment because I can watch everyone get frustrated without knowing how to communicate properly.
Interesting.. 💭 I'm an ENFP but I find that more times, peeps wanna keep going with games I keep whopping their butt in.. Happens time & time again.. They want at least one win before they say that's the decider & it's game over.. 😅😂😅
This happens with me not out of spite but from excitement and fun. To some extent it is a projection of my happiness onto others, however they do not want to have this kind of fun.
Saame!
Just because you do it out of spite does not mean that you should speak for her for why she did this situation when you really don’t know what she was thinking or feeling and weren’t there.. but this does show that there could be multiple possibilities for what caused it and not just the interpretation that he thought of in the video.. it was his outside pov. We don’t know what she would’ve said was the reason.
Well, they can communicate properly if they are not bound by Fe customs. They can just say F*** you and walk off.
Your friend who was insisting on playing "Mau" was pushing you guys to do team building in order to deepen a friendship. If it's not Mau it will be something else. I believe that she wasn't just insisting because she enjoys it but the risk of doing something difficult with people she cares about and then deepening a relationship with someone she considers a friend. ---One Big Guess by an ENFP
OK. Your knowledge about this incident is just from the anecdote narrated by Michael Pierce, yet you claim to have a better knowledge about the intentions of this ENFP than Michael Pierce who knows her personally. Not to mention that Pierce knows the ISTP personally as well and has been in that situation. Seriously!!
Yours is not a big guess, but a very wild guess.
Micheal you speak so beautifully- ENFP
your videos are the branches for my brain fruits to grow.
Love that analogy!!
Hey man it's been awhile since I've spoken to you (I was an ISTP on my way to the military) and it's sweet to come back and see how much your channel has grown! You deserve the growth and I wish you the best!
The Mau game and all its associations: I've known a while that I do this -- sometimes become a runaway freight train of my own enthusiasms, tone-deaf to social cues it's time to shut it and reconnect properly with my interlocutor(s). It's a very weird thing, and might, of the neurotic/obnoxious things in my repertoire, be the phenom I've been least able to explain to myself. How interesting and useful it was to see it well illustrated here with some cog functional analysis!! It really is a strange, paradoxical thing how we ENFPs step on other people's toes socially with our overdoing, as often as we do, considering how extremely bad we feel when we learn that we've bothered someone. With the aux. Fi, we deeply care about that. If anyone would like to direct me to any other material explaining more about the etiology of this phenomenon, please do!
Considering the Mao story, I agree that as an ENFP I might impose what I like on others as soon as I'm aware they are not having fun I stop immediately. If I notice a lack off smiling or laughter or enjoyment overall then I ask them and if they say they're not enjoying it I stop.
I share because I love it and it makes me happy and I want to share the happiness and novelty, but within that I'm afraid of upsetting them and being annoying. I do this because growing up those around me would make me aware instead of playing along. I feel immense guilt if their lack of enjoyment is pointed out to me after the fact.
For example recently I tried to introduce my best friend a music group I like. She tried to show interest but I could tell she didn't enjoy it so I turned it off and asked about her music and we played that instead.
Right? I am a similar way. I try never push it past the point where I see other people aren't enjoying it too. I was kind of surprised to see that example in the video.
I'm an ENFP, I love your videos. Because of the whole INFJ-ENFP relation which I find very developing and that Fi, justly, is so misunderstood, I will give my own view and best attempt on Fi. We are, as you said, soo concerned about other people and their feelings, and we are at times incapable and unwilling to pick up on other peoples feeling cues. Because we do not simply react to them, but as you said pick up on them.
As an ENFP your Fi-values are largely dispositional. Meaning, no ENFP will be able to, on beforehand, simply spell out the propositional content of their own values, "This is my value and this is how to put it exactly into words, dot." At least not the real authentic ones. We are not aware of that content on beforehand. Or even in a discussion, if you would rationally ask me, I will have trouble just putting my values out there. I do practice just simply putting my values out there, even though it feels at times like a flash light right into a sensitive darkness. Secondly, these values are over time discovered to just be the case, "dispositions", from life experience and isn't really an active choice.
But, even if the propositional content is being put forward, or "the what", I'm always much more interested in "the why". "The convergence to the what", is not stronger for me than "the divergence of the why". So literally what ever, I will still ask myself, and to others, for the corresponding why. As a typical five year old, but ever so much more tactful, sensitive or mature. As I have become older as an ENFP, I see some of peoples as you said emotional cues, as just a first sign and almost irrelevant in the end in the big picture of what we soon will discover. Or, I do not get so excited about the cork popping out of the bottle, to express myself metaphorically, because I'm, if anything, so extremely aware and interested in all the wine underneath. Just as all the "thinkers" I have interacted with from my two years of academical philosophy (thank god I changed to advanced bachelor in social work) delight themselves in being connoisseurs of logical detail, I do in the fine wine of the unconscious mind or the at times authentic mind. To feel some intensity, to feel something real, something authentic, probably, in some way, from childhood. And without being crazily adventurous and jump parachute on a daily basis :p Oh, I miss childhood.. :) And my natural respect to other people or individuals, hinders me from doing so to other people without their permission and trust. Anyway, and yes I have rewritten this for far too long, yes, I do not know how suiting this is to your example of the game Mau. But I just want others to have the same type of discovery and adventure that I can have, in the change of judgement. That would be my motive in the game of Mau. I do not want to show any disrespect or lack of empathy. And I would never continue if someone are uncomfortable even after me telling my intention, simply because I want to. That sounds like something a very young ENFP would do, or without any emotional maturity, where everything and everyone is just part of their own playful game they call life. Or, hey, maybe they just had a bad day.
It is, after all Fi, and not Ti, and I'm every day baffled about how I do all of this (psycho-)analysis internally in this irrational manner, without, most of the time, being aware of "it" and so often being right on the money. I am aware of "it", but then I mean this pure perception or awareness of this grand internal processing of motives, an awareness that doesn't offer me judgements or any propositional content or whole sentences that I'm aware of and can use in a rational step by step manner. Simply, motives irrational nature requires other tools for their discovery. As you said, a strangely involved detachment, that we do involve our entire self without "moving towards in direct relation to what seems to be going on with them". Because we are not purely reactionary or sympathetic in that sense. We can thus sometimes initially be seen as jerks, at least that's what I have noticed as I have gotten older. But it's all with the purest of intention, and I'm more than willing to face some resistance or be seen as a jerk for a few moments, to reach the wonderful child within that already knows somehow in a beautiful deep way. Or face some resistance at first, to explain my perspective and intention. A benefit of being an adult, for sure.
A follow up question, how do you, in the moment, differ an emotional cue from just a part of any inauthentic persona?
Thank you for the insights! -- it'll take me a while to process it all, of course...
As for your question, which is very interesting, the simple answer is that I just "know". I don't think about it, I just react to what people put off, and I can just tell from their whole air or aura that they are X, Y, and Z. It's particularly sensitive in a social situation with multiple people: I become extremely rigid and uncomfortable when I just know very quickly that two people are starting to butt heads or someone isn't getting much attention and is stewing about it or whatever. In any case, if a person's emotional cue is part of them being funny, or not really being upset, or if they're faking it for other reasons or whatever, that's included in what I "feel" out in a situation. The inauthenticity of their emotion changes its objective "taste" for me, as it were. The more refined my pallet, the more nuanced one's humor and interactions can be without me losing track.
Does that help...?
Yes, thank you, I understand what you mean but I'm also convinced that we actually are not talking about the same "thing" as it were. To me, and I'm taking a guess here probably based on perception, it feels like Fe is reacting to the emotion, as if the emotion is an objective entity in itself that the person concerned is interacting with? In other words, an angry individual, is interacting and engaged with the actual emotion of being angry, so as the person is momentarily instantiating the emotion itself of being angry?
For me, an emotion is always something belonging to the individual itself, a property as an individual. The anger, is the anger of that individual. And not any entity in itself. I don't feel like I'm engaging with or instantiating any "actual emotion" as it were. If I'm angry, I'm expressing my own capability and thus my own version of being angry. You become the emotion that is your own, you are not engaging with or instantiating an actual emotion.
What an emotion is, leads me to the simplification of emotions and its nuances. "Anger" isn't an actual emotion to me in itself, but just an abstraction or description used because of the social convenience as well as generalizability of it. It's more to it than just so called anger. It's making a cocktail of emotion into pure rum. These nuances is hard to express in words, so the usage of the simplification as a tool is understandable, but people tend to forget that it's an abstraction in the first place.
It kinda comes down to the main difference between Ti and Te in some other of your videos. Fe makes the cocktail of emotions into pure rum, because hey, it's still just alcohol. While Fi points to all the underlying reasons as to why and how it's more than just that. How do you really know if it's rum or not, if you feel it with all that and all those different types of juices? Fe will then ask why that is important to consider, it doesn't change the alcohol's effects or expressions. Which seems a lot for me to assume, because I do not know what individual properties nor capabilities lying behind the expression, which I see is also constituting it? That's why it's hard for me at first to understand or trust that Fe really is genuine with it's reactions, or as genuine as Fi can be with its comparisons or picking up of the emotion. Maybe not in its function, but in its understanding of what it's dealing with, which probably is something highly dependent on the rest of the system and on which personality type.
So, as an example, Fe-users kinda seem like they know the feeling only by it's expression, they wonder, often with Ni, what this will be later on and feel like they need to react to it directly. While Fi-users assume they don't know what it really is based only on its expression, and with in my case use the Ne to perceive what this can be and what capabilities and properties the individual has that the emotion is coming from. Makes sense? :p It's like NFJ's go for the behavioral or empirical view of it, and NFP's are more optimistic in its evaluation of underlying reasons to find relevance or coherence to understand what it really is, even as it's being expressed.
Mar Kus I resonated with everything you just said. And I surprisingly understood it all.
I couldn't understand my dad's (Entp) Fe preference. I used to think it came off as inauthentic. Like if tell him that something about the day did not go well. He will comfort with a "fake" sad face.
It used to irritate me a little, bc it just felt like he was doing it as an obligation of some sorts. But now I understand it better.
Being an Fe he expresses his feel outwardly.
Where as I (Enfp) generally don't show any expression (even though I do feel a lot) but then use Te function to make next step
I am very self conscious about the "stoic" impression I may give off during periods of deep feeling, because I am aware of this "bubbly" outgoing excited impression I give off when meeting ppl or talking about ideas.
I came-across an INFJ vlogger who’s otherwise really clued-up on her stuff but was firm in her belief that INFJs and ENFPs could-not be more different or unrelated. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
This was a balanced portrayal. As an ENFP, I've been looking for a description of the type that equally goes over the virtues and flaws of the ENFP. Spot on with the odd lack of empathy, I can tell you that, for me at least, it's reserved for those who are cut off from the possibility of redemption (it's either perceived to be impossible or would come at a cost to others who are innocent and hence don't "deserve" to bear that cost).
In other words, I would say it stems from an inner paladin/knight/zealot/inquisitor that could potentially go from feeling like protecting a target with their life to nearly sociopathically wishing suffering on a different target depending on their moral judgement of them. I should add that this is definitely an immature aspect of the ENFP and one that can be tempered by training one's Thinking through mindfulness or focusing on rationality and skepticism of narratives. I'm am _certainly_ not advocating wishing violence on others, simply stating that I've felt that fiery certainty and know it's something to watch out for as an ENFP. It's the shadow side of "championing" for a possibility; championing _against_ something you see as negating possibility.
Great video! The ENFP in my life absolutely has that "deadpan" sense of humor.
Finally somebody who noticed that Bruce Lee was an ENFP.
nope
@@shraddhagalwade7252 6:06
I'd just like to say that Steven Universe was a great choice to illustrate the ENFP type !
I'm an ENFP and this is pretty accurate. Very few people recognize the desire to be responsible and self sufficient. That is so integral to who I am that it's weird when people don't recognize it.
I liked the explanation there during your game of mau. I would like to also Add that partly the reason the ENFP did not pick up the ISTP's frustration is I find they can get lost in Ne much like an INTJ and INFJ (to an extent) within Ni. ENFP's can get so excited over ideas and where they can develop that it can take control of the Fi. I have seen this happen a few times with my ENFP best friend and it happens to me once in a while with Ni as an INTJ. This can display the false impression of not caring however, its more being enchanted and enslaved by the imagination within those moments of great excitement or in my case interest with information or events which is the cause.
💣💣💣💣💣
I have this feeling that either I'm not an ENFP or your ENFP friend who played the game Mao with you and the ISTP had underdeveloped Fi/Te. I only say this because I have made it a point to observe people like Fe does. I feel bad if I make others try to like something if they clearly do not want to. But we are are sometimes guilty of having a very rough sense of humour that makes fun at people. It's because we have this conscious thought that others think bad things about us. So we speak about others.. Yet at the same time we would defend that very person if they were being attacked by others.. It's like let me talk crap about people but at the same time I don't want anyone to get hurt ultimately. Miss you Michael!
Naw, you're definitely ENFP. A lot of ENFPs have been particularly concerned about this story, and I do think that this particular friend of mine was a less developed ENFP. However, I also do tend to be overly sensitive to others' discomfort, to the point of it seeming far worse than it really is. I'm not certain that the ISTP was actually as upset about playing Mau as I got it in my head that he was, from his body cues and so forth. Miss you too! How have you been?
I definitely think with my Ne first (oh that joke will be funny! no one else will say it if I don't) then with my Fi second (would I be offended if the joke was pointed at me?)
This is thorough and accurate. I absolutely loved it! I am an INTP and struggle to understand ENFPs in the exact same way. How can they burst into genuine tears at the thought of hurricane victims losing their loved ones and yet at other times be so seemingly callous and downright devoid of empathy. How can they preach the virtues of tolerance and yet be so utterly intolerant in so many circumstances? I feel better having watched this.
I would never laugh at another persons expense. I have always championed people and protected peoples feelings. I can't speak for every ENFP but all my ENFP friends are awesome and I've never experienced any such thing with them :)
I appreciate the acknowledgment of our drive to ‘do’.. many mbti vids paint us over & over as just dreamers who never realize our potential, which always leaves me discouraged despite a record of having finished plenty of things.. :/
Well said btw hi ENFJ here! We're apparently a very compatible type in Cognitive Personality Theory. ENFPs Si is not inferior in fact it sits on an inextricable axis with Ne meaning that the ENFP can be extremely driven to actualise their goals and furthermore, convergent NeTe often predisposed the ENFP to orderliness & discipline much in the same way as the ESTJ...ENFPs are masters of juggling multiple plates. I'm actually despite the stereotypes pretty live & let live (aka lazy in some respects) despite being a supposed J type (I'm not a fan of mbti owing to the dichotomies in part). I actually think for the most part that drive etc fall outside the purview of cognitive type.
Your explanation of Fe vs Fi in response to the feelings of others was awesome. Extremely helpful. I have recently been frustrated at my own delay in understanding what I should do in the moment. I only realize later how my actions probably made someone else feel (if it is different from how I would feel).
I don’t think the story of your friend playing MOW showed a lack of empathy, but rather an indulgence in it. If she loved the game, it seems more likely ( I’m an ENFP) that she was trying to share those emotions with her friend and genuinely thought she would love it
EXACTLY.
And, I'll go a step further. I think the friend who was shut off to playing it was the one being the asshole. The ENFP was just trying to get everyone to have a good time. The friend digging in their heels wouldn't even give the ENFP's game a chance from the beginning. I think that's the bigger jerk move personally. I'm sure the ENFP felt the ISTP's resistance in spades but, she just was trying to get the ISTP to relax and have a good time. To lighten up a bit because I'm sure she thought if she could get her to do that the ISTP would end up liking it in the end which is probably all the ENFP was trying to accomplish from the get-go.
@@goldielox2382 First of all ISTP indeed played the game albeit reluctantly. He did not shut off himself from the game. Secondly just because the ENFP enjoyed the game, does not mean the ISTP also will come to love the game after experience. In fact you are strengthening Pierce's argument. A lot of ENFPs in this comment section itself labelled this particular ENFP of the anecdote as immature.
Enfp male here i heart this
Your Orwell vs Huxley comparison is spot on. P-doms definitely see the world as morally ambiguous.
because it is morally ambiguous? maybe /enfp
Haha, I'm ENFP & don't see most things as morally ambiguous. Some issues are morally *complex* and might not have a truly satisfying path forward, but they're still not really ambiguous, haha.
@@aerialpunk 💯🎯💯🎯💯
I can certainly say this is one of the best ENFP videos I've ever seen. Love from S.Korea
thoughts on tertiary Te (i'm sorry if this is annoying and ranty and self-absorbed, but i figure it's youtube and easy to ignore):
i think Fe isn't just the interpretation of emotion, it's the ability to speak its language and communicate with it gracefully. as an aux Fi, it's something i deeply envy. i often feel alienated from most people's emotions through thick walls. when i'm very insecure around others and unable to express it, i often wish for a world where everyone can be purely honest and speak as long and detailed-ly about their feelings as they want, until everything is clear, and if they're insecure others would be understanding and sympathetic. and when i've hated people or people have hated me i've wished for a chance to sit with them and at least be mutually frustrated at our own feelings and how messed up we both are and have some understanding that way. conversely, i think the greatest joy i can feel is when i've broken through a wall somehow, and someone's pure essence is intermingling with mine--like realizing we're both made of the same thing after all--i see you, you see me!
but this vision of a world without walls, i think Te is what often drives me to (impulsively) act on this vision, especially when the walls get too thick. it feels good to say loudly what's on my mind, to show my darkness vividly enough that at least i can get a reaction, to know how things stand instead of having this stifling uncertainty. i want to make my personality a punch in the gut--what i can't say with grace i'll make up for with volume. this is maybe something i notice with ExFPs in general: tertiary Te bluntness becoming a way to build the bridges Fe can't build.
Soooooo gooood. As an ENFP it's amazing how well you pinned down my personality.
Your videos are so insightful and informative! Especially the revisiting the types - series has given me a much deeper understanding of each type. You bring up some really good points that are rarely mentioned in other MBTI sites etc. Like the ENFP's timely "lack of empathy" (sorry idk a nicer way to put it) is something that I've noticed many of my ENFP friends doing more or less. Since I have inferior Fe I've found myself easily judging their Fi way of handling things (similar to your Game of Mau example), but this video actually explained the reason behind the behaviour which is so important.
Anyways you really seem to know what you're talking about and your videos are always able to teach me something new!
Hello, I am enjoying the revisiting videos. I watched the videos on your travels in Europe and found your interest in particular kinds of art to be what I would expect a INFJ trained in philosophy and psychology to enjoy. I share similar tastes. I want to mention a few film makers (who you may already know)that I think you may find interesting, who I am beginning to look at in different perspectives because of my reengagement with Jung. The works of Andrei Tarkovsky, Ingmar Bergman, Wim Wenders and Yasujiro Ozu are often masterworks that are filled with symbols and I believe each director engaged (in Wenders' case, is still engaging) in the unconscious, be it collective or personal. I would like to hear your take on these directors and other great directors in cinema history, as well as more insight into your aesthetic preferences. Thank you for the creation of quality videos on typology and psychology.
Great description as always :) (Only thing I don't have a problem with is the situation at 16:10, If I knew someone was uncomfortable, I wouldnt continue based upon myself.)
Yeah, same here. I'm wondering if maybe Michael's ENFP friend's Fi is a little underdeveloped? Most Fi doms, (INFPs and ISFPs) for example, seem really in tune with others' feelings, even though they don't get the credit they deserve for this ... The reason I suggest that her behavior might be due to underdeveloped Fi is because when I was a kid, I usually knew when my playfulness came across as annoying teasing, but I'd keep it up anyway until I figured I'd push the limit enough and better knock it off and apologize. I would do the same thing with teachers -- ignore their insistence that I stop talking during class until they'd get visibly irritated. Thing is, it never occurred to me then that I was actually being hurtful and disrespectful. I guess I thought of it as a game, and I didn't mean any harm to anyone. Only later after I grew up did I realize that I should have stopped the teasing when it was first asked of me, because by not respecting others' boundaries, regardless of my intentions, I was being hurtful. Once I realized that, I felt pretty guilty about my mischievousness in the past and even later apologized to a few people for it.
same! If anything, I feel like as an ENFP I can sense other's feelings and strive to make sure people are comfortable
I had the same feeling.. And Monique F is onto something here definitely..
Why create a potential conflict on someones expense without any motive for it? No potential greater good, no nothing? :S Unless! One is unaware of the toes one is stepping on..?
Hmm, that depends. I definitely would try to continue playing it, if I felt like they didn't even try to see what's so great about it. i think a true friend should try and play the game through. It's completely fine if they don't like it, but if I tell them it's important to me, I expect them to try it out because I want them to feel the same way I did when I did it the first time. It can seem egotistical, but I think what's going on in the head of the ENFP then is: "You're important to me (ISTP), and this game is important to me. I want you to play it and see your reaction."
These are all great thoughts (including the one above by Toroidal Zeus)! I actually recognize myself in all of them. I think it really just depends on the situation and the personal connection with the individuals involved. If I am really close to someone, I really don't mind making them upset if I think that it will ultimately be for the best (and really do think they will come around to see it). I will also be like Idar with people I am close with and care about - it's all about sharing and connection ;). Sometimes I just am completely oblivious to how much emotion my actions are evoking in others. It is hard, when I am completely caught up in an idea/action I love, to be super conscious of others and their reactions. In the situation presented in the video, if I had noticed the intense negative emotion coming from another, I believe I would be highly attuned to it, simply because I don't like causing distress or conflict - I'm definitely all for peace and love, baby!!
GREAT VIDEO!!!!! I am an ENFJ but this explains a lot about the many ENFPs I know haha. Thanks for all your hard work on the visuals and everything
Wow. I wrote this rambling explanation on an ENTJ video of why I thought I was ENTJ, but still had reservations about that type. Then, I see this video, and ENFP, it is. Watts is one of my favorite authors/speakers of all time, and the compulsiveness thing -- with regard to tertiary Te -- hits close to home. It is a kind of black-and-white thing that goes something like this: "If I'm late for this appointment, then I suck and might as well not go at all," or "how could I have made that stupid mistake at work? I can't believe it, etc." As well, the Te didn't start revealing itself until around 9th grade or so. I see it as manifesting differently from dominant Te, which although disappointed in itself when it screws up, just gets back up and works harder without the tearing oneself apart that tertiary Te can do in me.... Thanks, Michael. I've been studying type for a while and unable to come up with my own. Until now! Bravo!
Monique F I'm in the opposite situation. I thought I was ENFP but I'm leaning towards ENTJ when I look at the cognitive functions. It's basically about figuring out if I have Dominant Te instead of tertiary and Inferior Fi instead of auxiliary.
Speaking as an ENFP here:
Good video as usual, it was quite cute how hard you try to put a positive spin on Fi though.
Is it so bad to say that Fi is, in essence, a selfish function - especially in the eyes of Fe users? Most Fi users aren't able to admit it to themselves (if they even realise this is happening at all, which is unlikely), but we only care about others due to their impact on our own feelings (altruism through selfishness!) and deep down, how we feel -always- takes precedence.
How to act with respect to Fe users is going to be a significant challenge in most Fi users lives.
I considered not mentioning it but I also feel you seriously underestimate the importance of the shadow function in ENFPs, especially in young adults. It can have an almost drug-like pull and I believe you'll often find young ENFPs attempting to shoehorn themselves into ISTJ-esque roles.
I’m very interested in this comment. I’m an ENFP who “settled down” later in life (41) with an ISTJ. I feel like I dated every personality type, and finally landed on the ISTJ, and something went ding ding ding, and so I married him. Years ago, my brother (who knows me quite well) said (after I started dating yet another completely different type of man), “ok. you officially DON’T have a type!”. :-) I now see what he meant, as I was being a true ENFP and exploring all the dating world had to offer! But here’s the thing- this marriage so far has been HARD, and while marriages during the first year can be that way no matter what, we’re struggling even more as time goes on. We dated for 5 years before marriage, but long distance, and never lived together or spent more than a few months at a time before he had to get back to Ireland. I moved to his country to start our married life together. I gave up my job, proximity to friends/family, and I’ve found that without all those outside influences almost fulfilling my N needs, the ISTJ personality drives me nearly INSANE. 😂 We are always coming at things from what feels like opposing sides. I am endeavoring to learn as much as I can about ISTJ & ENFP relationships, so I find your comment about ISTJ being shadow functions of ENFP enlightening, and want to know more... any more insight?
Enfp is actively gathering ideas from the world to form their values. Infp is values are used to gather ideas. Fi and Fe are not feelings they are deciders. The Group (Fe) or individual (Fi). No matter what type, balancing the two as much as possible is needed. Without these two being balanced, we act in extremes as tyrants or doormats. With the 2 balanced, we have self respect while also respecting others. Assertive rights create Unity.
michael you are super insightful man. right on the money.
As an eNfP I feel I can offer some insight to your the feeling detachment and using internal values on other people's feelings. @15:00-15:35ish mark in your video. As an eNfP I feel that I use my encounters with everyone I ever met to create my values so that I can know how to perceive reality. It gives me this we rounded understanding and I use this to help others with their feelings. This can help or make a situation worse depending on how the persons views consensus. Some care what others think an "external moral compass" and others have such a "internal moral compass" and dont put as much value on consensus opinion.
I feel like ENFPs and INFJs can quite often switch places way too quickly. It's like both types have equally strong Ni / Ne - Fi / Fe, each type just *tends* to favor one over the other.
I'm an ENFP by the way, great video!
Both types are exactly the same and exactly the opposite. The main difference is that INFJs are far-ahead in terms of overall maturity (as disillusioned and wise as ENFPs can be).
Ive been the unhealthy Fi before. I always insist my friends would love the same stuff I love and would make them participate in my creative hobbies such as Short Film, cover dance, graphic design, wattpad writing, etc. I just had this sudden realization when I am becoming really selfish and I did not realizd that they also have their set preference as I have. I think that's where the healthy Fi comes in. Healthy use of Fi means accepting that all of us are somehow operating in a subjective value that we personally resonate with and through that understanding, the ENFP can acknowledge everyone much more. Not in an Fe way like disregarding your own internal flame for the sake of seeing the feeling cues of others but rather taming your own internal fire so that you can light others, therefore seeing everyone better.
Wow this was a great video. It helped me realise I'm an ENFP and not an ENTP so thanks for helping me figure out my true type! :D
I second this! Before I thought of ENTPs as me, an ENFP, but if I were cool instead goofy or dorky. Now I know it's because rather than staying detached I Have to be involved and go as deep as possible on things lol.
I definitely relate to not wanting to try the same thing over and over, I need to try new things almost constantly, though oddly I have times where I listen to the same music over and over again.
The candle metaphor in the auxiliary function section is terrific. I particularly appreciate everything in the auxiliary (Fi) section (though I think the whole video is fantastic) because your awareness, interrogation, and disclosure of your Fe biases as part and parcel of investigating the unlikeable effects of Fi that you do is so useful and refreshing. Several other Fe-using MBTI Nerdworld kingpins whose work is so intelligent, informed, useful, and inspired in most other respects seem (to me) to have a glaring blind spot of unconsciousness and ignorance in this area, but you don't. The connection you make here between the deep, complex, internecine processes of Fi and Ti (I think the same inferences of 'kind' could be made with Ni as well) and seemingly strange (i.e., inobvious), delayed effects is very well made. Jung did it. Maybe more theorists about his work should do the same! ;-)
Thank you so much for this video! I have been waiting in anticipation for this video. GREAT INSIGHT AND INFO ON MY PERSONALITY! I LOVE IT!
Been waiting for this!
I also used to have that obsessive compulsive thing, where I avoid stepping on cracks on the pavement, or imagining sharks in the swimming pool I convince myself are really there, scaring myself with an unrealistic possibility.
Rickus Kruger same!!!
How about a vampire in the closet?
yesssssss! I was so excited when I saw this video was up! I really like how your type description for ENFP is a lot different from the INFP video-you really honed in on the differences. I think your ENFP-ISTP-INFJ game example could also be the difference between extroverts and introverts. Nice video, as always :)
I am an ENFP 🤗, people think and say I am weird because I am me;-;, when I want a thing I have, when I want to do something I do, I love everyone and I want to be friend with you all because I want to give you love😚.
I love speak with people but.. things they like do ect..I don't like speak like: "how are you ?"ect🙄 I just listen and if I think it's interresting boum I am here😂.
I have too much imagination😅 I have to sometimes stop myself thinking because I'll continue always.
I have too much emotion to...
I just want to say, I love be an ENFP😄
Thank you, Michael! This helped me understand my type so much more. You're gifted at this!
I wanted to hit on what you said about ENFPs wanting to be involved and help yet simultaneously not reading emotional cues-- (If I really am an ENFP which I'm fairly certain I am, I finally got around to watching this and it is spot on 100% me!)
I think we are empathetic.. but everyone is unless they are a psychopath or sociopath. And when we think someone is upset (especially if it is with us) we become more uncomfortable rather than feeling what the other person is feeling. It's more like "I don't want you to be sad I hate this! How can I fix it!" Rather than going through the situation with them...
I don't know about other ENFPs but when my friends are others are upset sometimes I will give advice based on what I would do in the situation. Lots of Te since I tend to give quite practical advice. And more often than not I actually take steps to solve their problems.
That being said a majority of the time, if I'm speaking to the upset person/friend in person, I eventually notice that my face doesn't show sadness, and I begin to feel guilty that I don't feel negatively when others do. I think it honestly just comes across as awkward. I always apologize and i've done this so many times. :P Recently during a group intervention for my cousin I couldn't stop giggling even though the mood of the room was quite serious LOL. I told them I was happy he had such a supportive group to care about him, and that I was glad things would get better.
I tend to be the one to just provide advice and snacks when my loved ones are upset. :P
YES!!! Hahaha been checking for this vid almost every day in the last couple of weeks.. It's like a merry un-birthday present.. Thanks mate! Totally appreciate the work, I love your vids. Especially like the comparisons to the ENTP, I been searching for something along those lines for ages. And the Mau card game, which is funny because the whole scenario there I see I act that way with a lot of things. MBTI for instance.. and music mostly.. also politics. The even funnier part is that through sheer persistence I actually end up getting most people into the things I like.. never seen that trait attached to any other description of an ENFP before, that's why I really appreciate your videos. You add your own perspectives and observations and they always seem to be pretty accurate. Anyways.. Cheers for the great work!
Amazingly amazing. at first, you appeared to me as a healthy INTP, however, this thing of swiftly navigating through the triggers of the other party while delivering truthfully is a trait I observed only in INFJs. Salute sir. also, good job on dat Ti of yours. looking forward to more of your explanations.
Thank you for your work ! Your voice is so soothing
I love the music at the beginning.
The images you provide for Ne are so good.
This is.. very interesting to me because, although relatively new to Myers-Briggs, from everything I've gathered so far I'm pretty much an ENFP poster child. XD
I remember specifically watching your first video about ENFPs, and it literally made me laugh out loud in places and get all teary eyed in others because it resonated with me so completely and utterly. In this video however, for the first time since I started reading up on ENFPs, there was a part that... doesn't quite... fit.
The way I figure this could have several reasons but I wanted your opinion (if you have the time to reply of course)
In the Auxiliary Fi section you mention how ENFPs, despite their concern with other peoples feelings are sometimes surprisingly blind to the actual emotional cues of others in a given situation.
Now I do recognise this somewhat, and it's definitely happened to me that I was so caught up in a moment that I'd occasionally "walk all over" someone, but I was never blind to it. And I can never see something like the Mau situation you described happening to me because I am usually (unless inebriated or caught in some moment of extreme excitement) very very aware at subtle emotional clues of people around me and I often pick up on things before anyone else does. I'd also never force someone to do something they're clearly not enjoying, insisting they'll have fun in the end. And I can ALWAYS tell. Now I wonder why that is. Do you think it's something I learned and worked on over the years due to natural selfreflection (and an amazing friend who always slapped me on the wrist when I was doing that XD ) or do you think it's more likely I'm deluding myself thinking I don't do this very often anymore, when in fact I do but never realise?
I'm just curious if you think it's possible I got conditioned somehow to pay more attention to this kind of situation.
I should have read some of the other comments first. damn impulsiveness XD
you sort of, kind of answered this already, so nevermind.
Thank you for doing such a stupendous job at explaining everything to do with the 16 personality types, always going into detail while not making it overly complicated with the lingo that comes with the territory. It's really amazing for people who just got into this and are a bit befuddled with all the terms, like me.
As a poster child ENFP who loves to start new projects but hardly ever manages to follow them through to the end because I'm already thinking about the next one, I admire your patience and thoroughness.
Cheerio to you, my friend.
I just love the idea of Jaques Derrida being a woman imposing an obscure game of cards on people. 💜🤡👽💛
Finally a video that relates ENFP to INFJ. This is insightful. Most of us will always exhibit behaviors that is fueled by a mash of our mental processes. Thank you.
Hands down best ENFP video ever made.
I just am so glad that i found this indepth review. Thank you Michael!! Wish you the best kind of luck and happiness in every area of your life!!
-INFJ here, for a concerned ENFP ... ^^
Awesome explanation of ENFP, Michael. Thank you so much!!
I related a lot to so much of this video!! Most of it was spot on (even some negative things. I have experienced a significant amount of anxiety and depression, related to much of what you said...) I do think it is interesting the way you describe the ENFP's sense of humor - for me, I do have a bit of a dry humor, but I really try never to joke at someone else's expense. Part of that is my upbringing, I think, because I am really sensitive and I try treat others the way I wish they would treat me. My Te is manifest in some other ways though, and I can be insensitive at times. I speak my mind, and although I don't usually say anything deliberately unkind, some comments may be interpreted offensively. Also, I understand your point about the Mau game, (because I would generally try to get someone excited about the game, "Oh you'll love it!!") but I think that if it went as far as you said, I would have eventually caught the cues and apologized and let the ISTP pick a new game. I hate feeling that I am imposing on people; this relates a lot to the nervousness about different actions. I try to be aware, but of course, I do not have Fe so this does not come naturally. This does cause a lot of anxiety. Basically, I think that ENFPs, as Fi/Te users CAN demonstrate empathy and probably value empathy greatly, however, it is not always a natural strength so there are occasional lapses and times when words and actions may be insensitive.
Based on comments, there are some ENFPs who agree that the Mau scenario is true, and some who don't and think it's an under-developed Fi. Although I'm not an ENFP (but an INFP), I don't think it would be an under-developed Fi causing the ENFP social blindness. I think instead it depends on how they use their demonstrative Fe, which in socionics is strong but unvalued. Not only does it make more sense function wise (Fe is more objective about values aka group oriented, Fi is subjective and takes a more individualistic approach when it comes to the user and building bonds with those around the user) but it also explains how an ENFP could sometimes switch on and off their Fe.
INTP NEXT PLEASE!!!! I'M STARVING!
Oh God please!
same
"Now don't loose your head Augustus, we wouldn't want anyone to loose that!"
10:12 ... A relationship diagram where the bubbles and arrows look like sperm cells.
I keep hearing entp or infp or other personality types instead of the ENFP description ☺️
Thank you for understanding my humour. Finally.
Hey my man your back!!
Welcome^^
16:00 Have been through that multiple times and even if you explicitly tell them that you do not like it they act like you are saying that because you are either too shy to admit otherwise or you didnt experienced it enought.
I am probably 'ENFP' as far as typology goes. I found your insight into Fi enlightening. Fi must seem at strange or even disgusting to you, as Fe is to me! I respect it paper but no more. With Fi I think you have missed its value as a 'fact checker'.
Fe to me feels naked. You mentioned putting information through your Ti internal systems to check things and develop your own conclusions and systems. It's important to think why you do that. You allude that just trusting the facts is something you cannot do. Facts and logic are important in our lives; I think Ti users scrutinize facts and logic because if they don't they somehow feel they are being 'had', that they could be being fed any old rubbish, and that an unexamined fact is no fact at all - the label 'fact' means nothing until you have unturned the stone and discovered the thing for yourself. This keeps you secure from information poisoning. You would feel naked if you didn't go through your rigourous process.
And so Fi. For me it is that same fact checking but on principles of ethics, or on emotional states and so on. Fe sees a person crying and to paraphrase your work, you drop all your personal feelings and rush to them, to give the sad person the attention they need, discover the problem, let them vent, help them. To the Fi user, this dropping of the personal internal system is that same nakedness you feel towards facts. I risk the information poisoning and feel uncomfortable taking social cues for granted. Going through my own system keeps me safe.
The ultimate failure of Fe, that I tragically see in a lot of my friends very often is this inability to fact check the validity of the emotions of others and thus being 'had', being taken in constantly by people with less than noble intentions. These beautiful people cast their own desires and ideas aside (their own Fi) to run to the aid of someone else. When it's genuine it's a beautiful thing. But more often than Fe people can either admit or just flat out see, the person sending out the social/emotional cue is being manipulative, dishonest, dishonourable. Taking in the other good person who rushes so quickly to their aid. This hurts us as Fi people to see; it is an injustice. I have heard it being described as 'pathological altruism'. I agree.
So there is my reason for placing value on Fi. It is my social 'fact checker' that stops me from being taken in, very similar to your Ti. The tragedy of Fe is that they believe emotions and ethics never need fact checking; it is heartbreakingly idealistic in this way, to me anyway.
To me it sounds like the card game ENFP friend was more of relationship issue. There are many CZcamsrs who use their self professed profession to call out or attack a person who they have had a not so desirable relationship with. It has never sat well with me, when people use personal relationships as so called objective examples. It’s a bit like naming and shaming in a covert kind of way. Besides labelling another person as a type is strictly from your own perspective. If I queried this ENFP, I am sure she might have a different perspective on the matter. The idea of Myers-Briggs is for self analysis and self discovery. Also personal behaviour is affected by personal values and ideologies as well. Otherwise there would only be duplicates of every type without deviation. Basically Clones of a type. We are each individuals, first and foremost, not types.
Dang I didn't see that this was finished. Looking forward to it!
I do have another thought. >< I think Fe's main value is harmony? For me, harmony is not nearly as important as what is "good" or "right". If I have decided something will be "good" for someone then that's my motivation and far surpasses the ideal of harmony. It almost seems like "ultimate good" v.s. "harmony now". I can see myself forcefully playing Mau with an unwilling ISTP, is what I'm saying. Often I encourage people to do things out of their comfort zone. I have grown up enough to not get pig-headed about it these days, though, and choose where I put my effort. Fe-dominant users often make me nervous if I see them making decisions that cater to emotions but which might not lead to the ultimate good (e.g. deciding not to change policies that need change because change is hard and people are unwilling) in order to just smooth things over with people---- which I would never do as an ENFP.
that SU part was spot-on, and also everything else too!!!
Hm.
I think I understand the ENFP a bit better maow.
Thank You. :)
So many triggered enfps here. You guys realize that the Mau example was ONE example of how Fi can be displayed negatively and that every function has positive and negative aspects, right? Each of these videos touches on it, you're not being singled out. It's an example.
9:07 perfectly expressed. beautiful insight
Outsiders perspective of ENFP...interesante 👌🏾
My man, you just read me for filth. But also, I feel very understood. I am constantly obsessing about how my actions have consequences which leads to a lot of inaction. Also, I do agree about the Mau game. That's something I've done often, and I feel so bad about it afterwards. Which leads me to my favorite part which is actually the last part, because I feel like you touched on a deep part of me that's not necessarily a *big* part of me, but something that brings me a lot of joy/nostalgia, i.e. me having a very sensory-based association with memory. For example, seeing bats brings me a pure sense of joy because as a child, I used to lie under the stars and watch the bats fly overhead. It's a simple pleasure, but it happens to me all of the time. It's like I fall back into the past because of a sensation, and deeply. I think that's why your friend may have done that with the Mau game. She was trying to reproduce that same feeling of joy and lightness that came from her first three experiences, not realizing that everyone may not enjoy the game in the same way that she does. It's that childlike innocence that we have going on, (which can unintentionally be selfish in the most good-natured way possible). Anyway, thank you for this, I really enjoyed it!
I think thats my issue throughout adulthood. Because I am extroverted, i tend to always get inquiries about the things around me that at the end of the day I just move along to the next thing if my Fi doesn't want it anymore. We tend to look like assholes to other people. As I get older, I tend to get aware of the social structures that I am unable to be the jolly, lively ENFP that I was when I was a child. Because without exerting enough cognitive effort, I am really disregarding or yet unaware of the emotional cues of other people as I expect that they do that to their own selves as how I do it. But that doesn't mean we dont care, we love people but we get bring down in the process since people expect you to adhere to a collectivist mindset that you should also be concern and establish harmony amongst your peers. Thats an issue I have yet to solve.
I just wanted to add, and not that you implied this at all, regarding the collectivist mindset (which I happen to agree with), I think as an ENFJ Fe doms are often perceived as promoting this collectivist mindset when this isn't the case. As Rob, an INTJ for CPT contends, ENFJs are actually, for the most part, anti a collectivist mindset: FeSe is much more about managing egos as opposed to encouraging harmony. Indeed I can see where you're coming from as ENFJs FiSi is most activated when in the presence of others via their dip from FeSe. You might find Cognitive Personality Theory really interesting; we're apparently a really compatible type in this system which rings true to me in real life pertaining to those who haven't been mistyped (the types are relatively rare comparative to some types). On a random note, I'm actually very socially introverted & generally mistaken for an INTP or INFJ as in Jungian theory extroversion doesn't pertain to how socially extroverted one is but rather how they primarily take in information. Apologies for gate crashing your post just ENFPs are a type I generally deeply respect! Again, Rob from CPT contends that ENFJs are the type that most often encourages people to be their authentic selves & this is extremely refreshing to see from ENFPs who take very little BS from others. 😊
This is very interesting and got me thinking. I didn’t understand the second to last point I think it was, but otherwise it sounded accurate.
Thank you Thank you Thank you! I have not even watched it yet but I wanted to say how excited I am as it starts.
ENFP (male) First, Great video I'll probably watch it three or four more times just to soak it all in.
2. The Mau game story was hilarious and so true. I have lived it my whole life with a younger brother who is an ISTP he finds playing most games with me to be stupid and pointless and bla bla bla ... I cant tell you how many times he has quite half way through (which is the only leverage he has over me) because of one reason or another. He has vowed to NEVER play risk with me again. And to your point of how "oblivious" your female ENFP friend was to the situation at hand, leading to your discomfort. Imagine how uncomfortable (and I chuckle on the inside at the thought of this) my brother and I could make other people around us feel with his dogged refusal to participate in anything and my insistence that he does. Everyone around saying things like "oh hey, no its fine he doesn't have to" and I'm all like, No he does not get out of it that easy, your going to do this and your going to have fun damn it! lol
So, The up side is that years after childhood he has (in his own ISTP way) come out and thanked me for getting and pushing him to try new things, it was a very touching and happy moment.
Lastly, you spoke in both enfp videos of our desire to not be tied down, stuck in one place. You make it a strong suggestion that it is a physical place. For myself I can say that notion spreads to predictable behavior. I have logically rational thoughts, I know full well what 'the world' expects of me and most times I will play along but to not be 'controlled' or tied down by those expectations I will knowingly do or say the illogical for no other reason than to throw people of the scent and gauge their reactions.
Therefore listening to you talk about how "it often baffles me how the enfp is so concerned with other people and those peoples feelings while at the same time 'seeming' unable or unwilling to pick up on others feeling ques" brings joy to my heart.
We are predictably unpredictable, a walking contradiction, and I love that about being an ENFP
Michael Pierce seems so intj so much Ni but like.. idk some INFJs I know have like bubbly moments or at least the ones I talk to in person but maybe they are mirroring me but Micheal seems so rational. Still like a massive fan of all this vids honestly wish he would make more. Also wish someone would restart NFs geeks or make another NF Facebook group I miss it 💔
As a ENFP in the mau situation, I may have the tendency to behave like your friend. Im normally accommodating to other peoples desires and interests because I wouldnt want my interests being stepped on if the situation was reversed. But if I had been making concessions for too long before this, I may be in a mental state where I would subconsciously say "fuck it, they have to do what I want for once, they're adults, they can handle it, I know I handle it all the other times". Like you were saying @13:36 when my internal fire is in a frenzy, I lose sight of my peers feelings.
@19:30 I certainly have a internal fire raging towards bringing people to justice. Sometimes its a joke. Most of the time im serious due to how angry the disrespect of my values burns inside me.
@13:05
You said that the ENTP is looking for truth whereas the ENFP is just searching for what they love. This may just be my sensitive side being defensive because I do see myself as a truth seeker also, however I think what ENFP's truly search for is meaning. I think because of our balance of our judgement axis, its not easy per se but I think we can quickly differentiate between objective truths (Te) and subjective truths (Fi). But once we have this data what do we do with it, we can make a conclusion with Si although I think because we have an understanding that "truth is infinite, things change, there is always more you can learn" that making a conclusion seems almost pointless. Instead we learn truth I think for a pragmatic real world purpose. What's the point of learning truth if you can't use it. We like to learn truth because its important for a purpose.
As a male ENFP I could tell you about that Mao game that you played little boy. U must understand ENFP's love to win more than anything in the world! We want to be Victor's because we are the best in the world and we also love to watch other people suffer. When you were suffering we got great joy out of that cause it's just a temporary game where we can show everyone our supreme awesomeness. Understand bich? ENFP's rule!
love listening to you talk, it's soo relaxing, do all infjs have this presence?
Dude, you literally quoted me when you said that ENFPS say “I’ll do this and then that and that and that and everything will be great!” That is the only way that I am able to organize tasks in my brain is by saying them out loud in the moments before I carry them out and following them with a positive affirmation. You are SCARING me, man! 😅😂
An interesting think to note that others observed as well but it's not often mention: ENTPs can be very emotionally expressive due to Fe, while ENFPs due to Fi aren't actually that emotionally expressive, it's their behavior that reflect their emotions, which at first glance might make ENTP seem F and ENFP T types. For example I think the 11th Doctor is ENTP and the 10th Doctor is ENFP. The 11th is very expressive and charming, but the 10th seems more genuinely passionate and introspective.
While my humour can be pretty dark, harsh, and hyperbolic across the board, the "quirk" you describe about ENFPs, in particular, being quick to metaphorically throw people they dislike or feel are "against" them into volcanoes is not something I or the other ENFPs I know do. However, I do think I have noticed the social phenomenon you describe, in which some very emotionally sensitive (i.e., Fi-dom or aux) people go way overboard in punishing a straw man of their 'enemy' behind said enemy's back, and recruit others to egg them on in this. I don't think this is an ENFP thing, though, but rather -- in the main; (other damaged NFs sometimes do this too) -- an immature/insecure xxFP thing I've been happy not to have had to be around since high school.
Enid F. Patternson Then you don't know.
Test, what do you think about whites right to self determination.
Not sure I can relate to the lack of empathy, unless I really dislike someone maybe, but even then if that happens I hate myself.
Rickus Kruger
Yes! If I (rightfully) hold a dislike for someone, I feel very guilty for it.
My reasoning for making fun of people who throw gum into the gears that wish to grind is that I have no problem laughing at myself, and if I can beat the shit out of my ego every day to build my self esteem, I will also throw caution to the wind when I make fun of someone else. They'll get over it, because it is way better than the average mean girl (men and women alike) who will never insult you or do but also make sure to gossip about you and think bad thoughts. At least if I make fun of myself and others, I can toss the thoughts into the wind and we can move on. If the person gets offended and broods about it for a while, I've done them a favor. After all, there is nothing anyone can say to me to make me feel bad, as I have already thought something worse about myself and worked through it a long time ago. Such is the product of incubation! That said, I would never joke about a person's appearance or superficial bs, only their stagnant mindset and slavery of their own ego. Of course, that cuts deeper than any fat joke. And as they are to perceive it as cutting with a knife, I have always deemed it as digging with a shovel, even when it is done to me.