Dumping on Fifty Shades Freed for 25 Minutes
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- čas přidán 16. 02. 2018
- I didn't even talk about the part where Christian Grey starts playing the piano and singing and even the characters inside the story are surprised and confused.
Click the fanfic that deserves to be made into a movie more than Fifty Shades of Grey:
A teenage girl's Twilight fanfiction where she casts herself as Bella and her real-life crush as the romantic lead - / jennynicholson
Reylo coffee shop AU, released into theaters as Episode IX - / jennyenicholson
A brony's fanfic where he goes to Equestria and he meets all the ponies and has to protect them because he's very strong - / spider_jewel
Lucius Malfoy/Arthur Weasley forbidden romance - / jennynicholsonvids
Homestuck vore - / spiderjewel - Krátké a kreslené filmy
Never go full football mouth
I don't have much to add but I would like to congratulate you on the pin.
Congratulations on having your comment pinned, Boreas74!
I hope one day to be so fortunate as you have just been. That sentence... that sentence was a mess, I'm sorry. But yeah nice work, bro; enjoy it.
Boreas74 You should have watched the whole video and listened to what she said instead of jumping on her visuals immediatly
Unless you specifically want to, than do it with pride and fervour!
Raphael Margreiter ........... did you?
Congrats Boreas!
Ana: *Breast feeding baby*
Christian: Alright, that's enough.
Christian: My turn
Shiirow booooooo
This is so fucking funny
Omg yes. Best comment award goes to....
Chris Sleepsick More like breast comment
The bit about Jack being jealous of Christian due to Christian being adopted by a rich family and not him is literally the basis of why Megamind hates Metro Man.
Megamind doesn't really hate Metro man though, also it was more about the attention he got due to his talents being recognized and megamind being ostracized.
He didn’t exactly hate Metroman. They even saw their back and forth as a game with silly jokes and banter as well. He becomes sad when Metroman is gone.
And pretty little liars
That's also why The Riddler hates Bruce Wayne in The Batman. Who knew this movie was so influential?
No.
"During the sex scenes you're like 'I don't wanna get back to the story... but I don't want this either.'" I died.
aka just end the movie; end my suffering, oh please no more.
Nice profile picture. ⚡
Shame the film didn't go full Twilight and have the security guard fall in love with their baby.
Technically, it would have to be Jose who falls in love with the baby, since he's the stand-in for Jacob.
Jose: Jee Anna, that sure is a sexy baby.
@@motherfreya2840 Because this is fifty shades it would actually have to be: "Jose: Dios Mio Ana, that sure is a sexy baby"
Um what
@@sentrenade1244 don't blame the commenter, blame the Twilight series for having Jacob 'imprint' on a newborn baby
My favourite thing about the email saga is the fact that it implies Christian manually types out Ana’s email address every time he tries to email her.
LMAO what a peasant
Almost like, huh, I dunno, an out-of-touch 56-year-old might do XD XD XD
😂😂😂😂😂
Why wouldn't he simply text her? The only reason why I think Christian emails his WIFE is because Mitchell simply doesn't know how texting works
Also why is he using her work email? Thats pretty unprofessional
"I was pretending I was someone who could enjoy watching this montage" is probably the funniest goddamn way you could ever put a movie down.
And for 4 minutes it worked!
"But because it's Ana and Christian and they're crazy people, it goes like this..."
That sentence perfectly sums up every single one of these movies.
Yep. That's the entire series right there. E L James doesn't know how to write human beings.
She knows how to write... beings. They aren’t human, though, and she doesn’t realize that. She is completely incapable of realizing that her author Insert (and Anna too, but less so) are terrible people who should not be romanticized, which she probably shouldn’t be doing too much anyway in the kind of story that Fifty Shades becomes, but romanticizing the story, without any basis or context for romanticism, is the only way to keep it from collapsing structurally (both for a lack thereof, and the flaws in what IS there) in the minds of the niche demographic who are willing to tolerate Fifty Shades, but even their engagement is flimsy, because these books aren’t FOR them, in any sense except that writing for an audience made Erica Mitchell popular; she wrote Fifty Shades, and all that story’s earlier forms, essentially *by* herself, and essentially *for* herself.
I wouldn't exactly call Christian an author solely do some of his toxic nature being seen in James. That can happen almost any romance story.
It’s like they’re married but they just met and never talked about anything before ever.
It's because they don't. They just have sex instead of talking to each other like humans
ak k to close to home, man
Exactly.
In the second book he literally tells her something along the lines of "we can get to know each other after we're married"
to be fair, there are plenty of marriages/relationships like that
“Jack Hyde” is something I would call the villain in one of the stories I wrote when I was 12 and would think was really clever
that captures the level of writing/storytelling quite well.
"Sam Hyde" is a much better name for a villain
@@Bigjuicydumbdumb the crossover we need
“My sleeper villain’s name is going to be HYDE. Like DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE. They’ll NEVER see it coming!” - E.L James, probably
Honestly, Jack or Jackie Hyde sounds like a name for a character in a pornographic parody or something.
If my husband stormed into the room and was angry bc his email didn't go through to me I would just laugh at him
QueenOfFabulous I can't imagine sending an email to my wife that would be so important that I'd have any feelings about it if not answered.
PJ Vis good point
I would leave him and possibly file for a restraining order
NOW I'M LOLLING 😂😂😂😂😂
“I’m not ready to have kids yet”
K that’s reasonable.
“Because I don’t want to share you”
Sorry, what?
trinthetrex and they didn’t even HAVE this stupid conversation until AFTER they were already married.
I WAS LITERALLY THINKING THE SAME EXACT THING-
PS: I love your icon ;)
Reminds me of the movie “Waitress” and the abusive husband told her she wasn’t allowed to love the baby more than him. 🙄🔫
right???? also nice icon
@@phookiephook1043 omg that movie is so good and it was made into a musical and that's good too! 🤧😭
Their relationship has a purple flag....... hee hee just kidding it's red
You're so witty ;)
You win this video
Fifty shades of red flags
I'm gonna scream I literally just commented this and then scrolled down like three comments and saw this
I know people say 'lol' a lot but this comment did literally make me laugh out loud.
I work at a bank, and we would NEVER let someone withdraw 5 million dollars in cash. Period. They would have to go through a million hoops and would require corporate clearance. No branch has even close to that much cash -- even the big banking centers downtown.
she obviously puts a lot of research into her novels, let her be.
Alex Poletti is this sarcasm?
Sunny's Side obviously.
I don't and have never worked at a bank and am fully sure that you cannot simply withdraw $5M in cash on any particular visit LOL
Most banks don't even have that on hand but movies show this happening all the time.
At least Girl With The Dragon Tattoo had her withdrawing Bearers Bonds (or another analogue)
@Razet Dadayeva
The city or bank doesn't matter. You absolutely couldn't pull that amount of cash on any one day. No bank will let you walk in on a random day and walk out with $5M.
nO yOuRs BrEaSTs aRe oNlY fOr mE aNaStaSiA
I hate this comment bc now I’m convinced he has some weird lactation kink and I hate myself for typing those words
@@rotisseriepossum OH YOU ARE RIGHT, HE TOTALLY DOES!!!
i'm so sorry.
@@MultiGloria42 OH NO LMAO
That’s why he doesn’t want kids
@@MultiGloria42 I'm 99.9% sure he wouldn't be able to fulfill that specific kink with an actual woman, so that's probably for the better.
I don’t understand why they didn’t both change their surnames to “Steel-Grey”.
Christian probably was the one whom didn't even consider that,let alone Ana- _that pushover._
@@sharonspears-mandeville2369 ..isnt she an abuse victim?
i prefer Grey-Steel sound better imo
Because this is an unequal relationship between a billionaire capable of and willing to stalk her and a college student (at least at the beginning). The only reason they are together is that he wants to be in control, all the time, well beyond any normal BDSM context and straight into mentally ill abuser framing it as part of a kink to disguise it territory. He wants her to be his slave, full time, not just in an erotic context.
I like how nobody clocked the "steel gray" joke
The fact they fired the female writer and the female director and hired two men to replace them really shows, you were not imagining the weirdness of Anna being sexualized and not Christian.
Can blame EL for that seeing how they hired two guys they knew wouldn't have any issues with her. Seeing how the writer was her Husband and the director was just a yes man for her to agree with everything she thought.
Look up a little about the female director and you will not pity her at all anymore.
@@maffieduran Not that I pity her, just that it was funny how obvious it was that a story about a sexy man mostly for women went from being about him being attractive in the first movie to like, power shots of him working out and sexy shots of her in underwear as soon as it was male directors, and it’s _so_ obvious 😂
@@maffieduran The story behind that director's marriage is 50 Shades of Grooming.
@@bananaboatcharlie I totally get what you mean. The director of the first movie got involved with her husband when he was barely legal and she was his boss, which is what the other commenter was talking about. But you don't need to think the other director was a good person or feel badly for her that she got fired to recognize she directly differently as a woman.
Trapped in a Island With Josh Hutcherson would make a much better movie
Ellie Thomson I would definitely watch. The casting of Kate would be pivotal.
That's a true romance.
@Abigail Duerksen Which one XD
As long as Jenny is cast as everyone. I would watch the heck out of that
When is Jenny going to do another sketch where she plays everyone? I love those.
If you think this movie is bad already, just keep in mind that the protagonist's full name is Anastasia Rose Steel.
James Tullos
Oh. My. God.
ARS
Oh boy
OC Donutsteel
@@user-me2ox2gb4d i don't get it either
Imagine if the concept of Christian being obsessed with trains from Jenny's other 50 Shades video carried over and the reason he didn't want kids is because he didn't want them to play with his trains because "they're not toys they're miniatures"
ok but imagine Ana dresses up like a sexy old timey train engineer and that's how she gets through Christians hard outer emotional shell
I think you're into something
50 Shades of Grey is a prequel to The Lego Movie.
@@pavarottiaardvark3431 I'd give this a like but it's at 69 so I shan't sully perfection
@@pavarottiaardvark3431 You should market that costume idea to Spirit Halloween! Then, when the costume goes on sale, Jenny can buy one and do another costume critique!
How to dumb romance franchise:
Step 1: Weird, possibly toxic dynamics in the first movie
Step 2: Marriage, despite the fact that the leads have no chemistry and barely know eachother
Step 3: Beby
"babby steal amesteeraAaatghgss
ME NO LIK BABI"
- Christian Grey. Fifty shades Freed By E.L James.
A Christmas Kink
So my name is actually Anastasia. This whole franchise has been very unfortunate for me.
Ana Square I'm so sorry for you
Ar least your name isn't costanza, amd you are mentioned in a slash song and there is a movie literally named after you.
I'm feel so sorry for you (but your nick is like the English version of one of my friends name so that's cool)
RIP
At least you have the animated movie Anastasia! (and the broadway musical but that's expected of every 2D animated movie by now)
You can tell the difference between the first and second/third movies in directors when you see the sex scenes. The first movie was directed by women so Christian is more sexualized because this movie is supposed to be marketed for women, so he has his shirt off and the camera frames him a certain way to make him look hot and it’s gratuitous for the women in the audience. That switches in the second and third because when men begin directing it and grey’s nudity is just seen as normal and is framed as normal while Ana is constantly naked and the camera hugs her like it’s supposed to be a movie for men. It’s wild.
That reminds me of recently watching _Birdemic_ where in the "sex scene" the woman is in skimpy lingerie, with even a pan of her body, but then the man is fully dressed, and even sleeps that way 😅 I'm like "gee, I wonder if a male directed this," and I'm a dude.
@@PoochieCollins Oh God, I had forgotten about that ridiculous Birdemic sex scene, why did you have to remind me?
Did you just lift a quote from folding ideas.
@@PoochieCollins dude i pushed that scene to a deep part of my mind. Whyd you have to remind .e
Sounds like someone watches Folding Ideas.
I forgot that Anna was supposed to be like 22, that makes everything worse ....
she is in a book, they aged her a bit for a movie, but she's still quite young, like 25 I guess. too early to be married and have kids, imo. esp to a man who knows you for a month or two and has a ton of red flags
She just recently graduated from college so she's defiently not 25 in the movies.
When you're a kid you think 22 is old then when you get to 22 you're like wait we're all babies wtf
@@officert5147 lol yeah I was aware of this series when I was 16 and I thought yeah 22 seems fine to get married etc. But now that I'm 25 and still not married or have kids and not planning to anytime soon, 22 year olds are children to me
@@user-ye5wq7oh2h no kidding! I see 17 year olds and I'm like "I guess I'm your dad now"
I’m surprised you didn’t mention how the movie showed that Ana literally ended up being barefoot and pregnant. As if she completely submitted to Christian and is now his little trophy wife forever. Also if Christian didn’t want anyone to see Ana naked, then why did he take her to a topless beach? Why didn’t he just buy a private island, or rent out the whole resort for the day so they could be alone? I know that’s just a microcosm of the problems with this movie, but that just stuck out to me for some reason.
Because the author is an abuser and that's how her mind works. It craves opportunities to crush, demean, and dominate. It's all about pretexts to be cruel.
Because if they were alone without anyone to see her topless, then he wouldn't be able to scold her for _letting_ people see her topless, and that's what he really wanted.
In the book, they've actually rented a yacht and were on the beach just for the day, which makes even less sense. She can easily sun bathe topless on the yacht deck with much more privacy or they can easily go to a private island or beach
@@elsie8757 Thinking like a real sadist now. *chefs kiss*
@@smileymctrashbag No. I'm sorry. This isn't even dollar store sadism. This is middle-school-level passive aggression. Because the author isn't either a Dom or a Sub and has all the maturity, and vocabulary, of an 8th grader.
The giant porg in the background is staring at that light like he's on something and is just mesmerized by the colors, man.
Alternately, he's been staring at the light for hours (for some reason) and is getting kinda miffed about it.
xingcat NB. Could be he is tired of listening to the show and it's been with her for all three books going own oh not again
Ha! I kind of love that idea. Stuffed porg can't make objections to what videos are made, he just lies in the background, hoping the subject interests him.
LOL. "Someone please move me, even a little bit!"
xingcat
.... and subbed! 💖✊🏼🔥
Does José fall in love with the baby? I've been assuming that happens this whole time.
No, but the creepy guy from the Vulturi shows up and says "Bondage baaybee?" in that weird voice.
Ari Asher
I’m sure that’s going to happin in the. Next book
@@Trollificusv2 and then Jane whips Christian
SWEET JESUS AND THE HOLY LORD...
Ari Asher *Holds flamethrower and BBQ sauce/rub while covered in singed shapeshifter-Werewolf fur,wearing an angrily frustrated face as I stand there* :
_DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT!? Now,do you want your José pan-fried or Flambéd with extreme prejudice,my good sir and/or madam? And yes,my comment from before still stands- SWEET JESUS AND THE HOLY LORD,mind you._
Apparently EL James’ old pen name use to be Snowqueen’s Icedragon. If that doesn’t sound like an eleven year old wattpad erotica fic writer I don’t know what does.
the worst part is that EL James was in her late 40s when she wrote the series. (she's currently 56.)
You realize this whole series is a twilight fanfic right???
@@PsychadelicDudette well, it's not fair to pretend older folks can't be dumb nerds. Older women can have silly anime usernames and write silly erotica fan fiction.
The problem is that her fanfic is quite flawed and got published, then booked for movies.... And now it's spreading a flawed message. :\
@@secretname3897 i absolutely agree, and my intention wasn't to bash EL James for writing fanfiction (I for one think it's great and anyone of all ages should be able to enjoy it), have a silly anime username(mine is definitely one, plus I think usernames are fun ways to learn of people) and write erotica. it's the fact that, as you said, she's written a series that actively applauds, romanticizes and encourages abuse as love. she should be old enough to know that, as an adult, her words have consequences. she has decades of life experience that should inform her better yet here she is, feeding into a romance story that is toxic on so many levels.
@@sandythemaster6898 well yeah lol tweens love to think theyre super grown up and stuff
Huh. So the final villain of the series is a fiction editor.
A guy who edits books of fiction.
Like a guy who'd maybe be editing Fifty Shades were that a book series in this universe.
Huh.
Holy crap, that's amazi- no. No. EL James wouldn't have been smart enough to think of that, let's be honest.
@@pikapower_kirby perhaps she was subconsciously projecting
@@cocolime6496 Haha maybe. I'd certainly believe it.
Yeah, it’s a thinly veiled strawman against her critics.
@@Dreigonix this is it. That's the correct answer
I'm an usher, so while doing recycling I had to walk into Fifty Shades Freed while it was playing. There's just this scene where she's washing his hair, I think? And she's holding a razor so I guess she was going to shave his beard? And it's so awkward looking and this pop song is blaring throughout the scene. Christian starts pulling her skirt up and Ana giggles and in this high pitched voice goes "Christian!" And Christian responds dead serious "WHAT." It was so off-putting and weird 😂
Sophie Goodman-Merel Not for the women watching it.
Being an usher during fifty shades of grey is the worst. I quit my job as an usher just in time for fifty shades freed lmao.
Imao i know this comment is six months old but I need to tell you that this imagery make me snort-laugh in public this morning
Christian: wot
"Anna and Christian don't bond or interact while they're having sex"
They don't bond? I thought this was a BDSM movie!
R T 👌
Yep, they jipped us. We paid for four letters in our movie's plot, and they only gave us two.
Ba dum tiss
@@trenvert123 yep BS.
omfg this is GOLD
I like how Jenny's Christian voice and her Palpatine voice are the same
I wanted to like this comment but it already has 69 likes. Nice.
@@gweneveregilliland917 hahahahahahahaha
Just as an aside, I've read/watched a lot about certain sociopaths/psychopaths/family murderers and the "fear the woman will love their child more" is literally something a lot of the husbands displayed and oftentimes bullied their children. They would act in extremely petty ways like cheating at board games or blaming the child for really minor stuff like chores not being completed. And then those men went on to murder their entire family.
Sweet Moses..
Next Fifty Shades could make this series what it was always meant to be: a horror movie where Ana has to escape with her child.
You mean that Christian almost certainly going to end up as a serial killer?
I'm shocked, sir! Absolutely shocked!
Fifty shades of red
Noah Karpinski that,or looks like kiddo's _gonna have _*_some serious_*_ blood out for Daddy/Poppa!Christian when the abuse gets really worse,if you catch my drift,mind you.._
They should have called it "Fifty Shades of Petty Bickering With the Worst Couple In the World".
Fifty Shades of abuse.
Tempus Fugit
Yyyyyyup.
Tempus Fugit they would get sued, that's the name for Star wars episode 3.
Okay, now I want a twist ending where Christian becomes a Sith Lord.
"Fifty Shades of Paper Tiger Villains who don't do anything and are more likeable than the heroes".
But when Jack Hyde throws a cell phone in the river to hang up on Ana, and then calls her from another cell phone in the next scene.
his real name is kevin gates
His name is so close to sounding like Jekill & Hyde.
And the best part is, he's not even greek.
the first phone i think was from rita ora and the other one his? i think???
Any time jennys like "ok im gonna speed up because this videos gonna be like an hour if i dont" i just mourn the fact that the video wasn't made in the modern era of Jenny videos where the average video lenth is an hour
Just the other day I sat, totally absorbed, through Jenny's Evermore video. Almost 4 hours long.
"It feels like you're looking at meat."
"It's the Hey, Arnold of mouths."
I lost it at those parts.
maybe its my age but I was going to go Ren & Stimpy.
its just the kim possible lipstick
Considering the source material, I assume Jack Hide "imprints" on and falls in love with Anna's fetus?
BethAnn Mayberry nah, that would be Jose. He’s the Jacob Black of this franchise.
BethAnn Mayberry hell no. A disgusting spinoff maybe-but,for all intents and purposes..Absolutely NOT. Same with jacky-freakshow friend boy to Ana as well,honestly.. Ewewewewewewew-ew.
The way you mimic Christain when he says Anastasia reminds me of Rasputin from Anastasia
Shayan H I was thinking about that. It makes for a very uncomfortable watch
well that's a ship video i never want to find
😂oh shit it does!
"Dasvidania Anya your grace! Fareweeeeeell!"
It made me think of the grandma, it was an image i never asked to have inside my brain
So the whole topless beach scene really summarizes why 50 Shades is like the worst example of BDSM ever. With BDSM, the most important factor is that BOTH PARTIES must be consenting and into the scene equally. If one person doesn't like what's happening or isn't having a good time, they should stop immediately and find a place both of them can agree. If they can't agree, then it just stops completely. I could totally see the "cover yourself, your mine" thing being a perfectly acceptable exchange between a dom and a sub. Subs thrive on that feeling of being owned, and doms thrive on making displays of their ownership.
So as a person who practices BDSM, that beach scene with Ana and Christian just sounds like a super uncomfortable exchange between a dom and a sub who aren't in agreement on where they want their boundaries to be. And it needs to STOP immediately. Christian has zero respect for Ana's more tame desires, and constantly tries to impose his desires on her. Not to mention all of the crazy stalker stuff also done without her knowledge/consent. It's WRONG, WRONG, *WRONG* and I hate it. Doms are not pathological control freaks who impose their will on unwilling/unsure victims, they are people who thrive on giving their partners exactly what they desire. What happens in 50 Shades is not anywhere near real BDSM, and while I think it's started an important conversation about sexuality, it cannot be the beginning and end of the conversation.
and Anna is no sub. that has been made clear from the beginning. this is just a housewife fantasy, not realilty.
Yeah like christan is not a dom and anna is not a sub in a BDSM fan fiction.
Yeah, like, you went into how Christian is a shitty dom by BDSM standards, but Ana deliberately flaunting his boundaries(yes, they were stupid and unreasonable boundaries, but you're supposed to HASH THINGS OUT SO BOTH PEOPLE CAN GET TO A PLACE WHERE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE) was bullshit. You don't go 'well I think your boundaries are dumb so I'm going to ACTIVELY make you uncomfortable ON PURPOSE and maybe it's because I want you to get mad and punish me in a sexy way, teehee, only you're genuinely uncomfortable and mad and this isn't just like a Scene Thing where I'm only pretending to disregard your comfort, I am in fact literally doing that, a thing I am sure has no greater implications in regards to or repercussions on our relationship both as dom/sub and as just, y'know, two people who are emotionally and sexually vulnerable with each other'. So she's a godawful sub who's as disinterested in the comfort and consent of her dom as her dom is disinterested in her comfort and consent as his sub!
Just, y'know. Relationship goals if you want to have a bad time, I guess???
(I know this is a necro, but I'm going through Jenny's videos backwards and I felt like pointing out they're both failing at their respective ends of the relationship is significant, even if Christian's transgressions are way more frequent and disturbing than Ana's. Purely because a sub does in fact have responsibilities to their partner and their partner's happiness and well-being in a D/s relationship, and I think it's important people remember that. A sub is not just a passive player who doesn't have to do anything for their sub or consider them at all because the dom takes care of everything. All relationships require both people care for and show consideration for each other, and in that respect Ana is a garbage sub. And I say this as someone with only a vague outsider's awareness of what BDSM relationships are like! I know it's bad and I don't even go here! Subs - well, good subs, and even just halfway decent ones - do not deliberately provoke their doms in ways that make their doms legitimately angry and uncomfortable, either to try to score sexy punishment or just because they disagree with them! Any decent sub works out mutually fulfilling scenes with their partners where both parties are equally comfortable with what's happening, and if that's not how it works then it's not a healthy relationship!)
@@lymmea Ana isn't a sub, though, and they never have an "official" D/s relationship. She refuses to sign the contract in the first book/movie and when they resume the relationship in the second it's on the condition that it is a "vanilla" relationship. Ana certainly acts in some immature, thoughtless ways but I feel like she gets a pass considering that this is her first serious relationship and it's with an older, richer, much more powerful, and emotionally abusive man. (Of course, it doesn't seem like the author thought about it that way...)
xxrujd Neither should get a pass, but I totally agree that their failings aren’t in the same levels. Both are toxic, but on different orders of magnitude.
It seems less like D/S was the goal of the story, but the S/M, and whilst there’s elements of both, again, S/M is built on trust, and requires clear and honest communication or it’s going to be a shitshow, especially when it’s S/M. A more interesting story could have been one or both of them agreeing to things to please the other, but not actually being okay with it, which leads to someone taking it too far, feelings being hurt and so on. You could totally do an arc like that, and there’s elements of it, but it’s such a confused mess, written by someone who not only lacks writing talent (which I’ll always give some leeway on, people should be allowed to get a foothold and go up from there) but also refuses to accept critique, showing no interest in getting better.
She wanted to write a story in which a dumb, pretty thing (in her view) has the writer’s sexual fetishes (not disparaging fetishes) inflicted on her, and thought clear and honest communication would be a turnoff. As a fellow Brit (but Scottish, which is less of a crime) I can see that repressed Britishness in her, she wants the kink, but thinks talking about the kink would either be too much, or, as is common with the richer inhabitants of the isle (see: parliament bdsm ban) doesn’t want to communicate the kink away, damn the consequences otherwise.
Basically, I think she’s a very not good individual, and being in a relationship with her would be a psychosexual nightmare, whilst also inanely belittling as she tells you to change your work email 20mins in to your first day back after the wedding...
Her confused “Wait… is that the moral? Of the whole series?” and then cut to credits had me chortling, lol.
people's replies to my unhappiness about these series are so funny. like "well, relationships aren't going to be magical all the time" and i'm like "their relationship is bad because they aren't smart"
"relationships aren't going to be magical all the time" yeah but they should be good at least SOME of the time
@@jlkjlkjkljklj9162 yuuuiup
I've seen that excuse too. There is a line between "this relationship has its ups and downs but is overall healthy" versus "this relationship is abusive" and Ana and Christian's relationship tap-dances right over that line into red flag territory.
If someone’s relationship has, and this sounds hyperbolic but I mean it, literally any common points with 50SOG, they should get the fuck out immediately. I cannot think of even a single normal interaction across three films... even the way he describes his helicopter is a red flag. He’s absolutely paid a scientist money to invent a way he could fuck his helicopter. That’s canon...probably, anyways.
people defend these movies? like jenny said it’s a horrible story about two mean crazy people tormenting each other how do you unironically enjoy it
And yet no one wanted to publish MY hastily rewritten Twilight fanfiction. I guess nobody wants to read the story of Fiona Grace and her inexplicable romance with a merman named Clint Stone, tentatively titled "Waves of Passion".
Prog MetalDeity sounds like Awoken, her, Cthulhu you know...
In book 2 does the Swamp man show up and try to seduce Fiona away? And is his name Cain?
Shape of Water? (wouldn't think this needed to be guessed except for the suggestions of above)
I thought that was called the shape of water
Ahhhhhh, now I get it 😂, but Awoken is still a thing
Is Jenny a stand-up comedienne? She has that natural charisma to just talk and be funny and interesting in her own way. I know virtually nothing about this film yet I find myself listening to this entire frickin video.
agreed. Jenny is naturally charismatic and hilarious in a way that's very appealing.
She was a part of an MLP parody show that's actually very funny :) I cannot remember the name of it (horrible memory >.
Rachtop it’s friendship is witchcraft and I recently just learned she took part in that and now I’m reminded of that series every time Jenny speaks
Jose Villarreal of course not-it’s pretty clear in the video that she’s sitting down
Yeah her extensive editing really does make it look like she has charisma and is witty. It’s nauseating how many cuts she does for her videos
id rather watch you dramatically breaking this movie down then actually see the movie
If my boyfriend threw a hissy fit because I didn’t change my name on my email, I’d have to reconsider my decision to be engaged to him.
What if he was a billionaire, though. I mean I'm a straight dude but if putting up with Christian Grey and his strange email hangups and demanding sex schedule is the price of admission to his bank account and lifestyle, then, y'know... A billion dollars is a lot of dollars.
Shaun Cheah No amount of money is worth that shit 😂😂😂
Queen CupcakKe Oh gurl she was MARRIED when said hissy fit was thrown
I mean they get threatened with a gun so often, I think hoping your billionaire husband gets shot is like, a pretty safe bet. Or you could shoot him and blame it on one of the 300 villains they encountered
@@queencupcakke I bet you wouldn't be saying that in Ana's position. Money may be worthless in the long run, but it's the key to pleasure.
Jenny Nicholson, please summarize every movie I never want to see
sums up the whole franchise really. "I don't want to go back to the story... but I don't want to be here either."
I love your expression of gentle disbelief/confusion for this review. It's just priceless.
That is a perfect description of the expression and tone of voice she has for many videos I've seen so far, "gentle disbelief/confusion". It's kind of cathartic as I have raged filled disbelief/confusion/frustration lol.
Who else thinks that “Trapped in a island with Josh Hutcherson”, by ThatVampireChick, would be a better movie?
Edit: OMG Jenny loved my comment, also, thanks for the likes!! ❤️
Randomfools 😂😂😂
OMG Jenny loved my comment!! Thank you!! And thanks for the likes!!
100%! at least there was a plot twist LOL
Queen Cupcakke I would watch that movie it sound like a better love story than fifty shades of gray
I mean they have a lot better chemistry well... at least compared to Christian and Anastasia
I want to watch a sitcom about Christian and Anna raising the kid and they have a future episode where it turns out the child's awful parenting turns him into an abusive dom and then the cycle continues. They'd also have a wise cracking tiger, because that's a rich people pet.
Barney TheDinosaur He already is abusive.
That's why it's a cycle
Make sure you have canned excited applause from the audience every time the tiger shows up to say his catch phrase.
"Christian beat the shit out of me again. :( "
"Awww, Anna, that's rrrough."
*insert laugh track*
what if they have a daughter that's really abusive and angry and she befriends an easily manipulated dorky kid that does what she says because he has a crush on her, they get into wacky antics like kidnapping and blackmailing while their pet wise cracking tiger tries to the stop them.
theirs a recurring gag about the dorky kid thinking Christian was a batman like superhero and everytime he finds a BDSM thing he thinks its like a crime fighting thing, Also the scene transition is the chorus to Love Me Like You Do.
in the end of each episode the daughter gets scolded by Anna and shes supposed to learn her lesson but Christian just pays off whoever's angry so she never learns anything, Tiger then sarcastically goes "well thats just purrrrrfect" * *freeze frame* * * *extremely fake laughter* * * *roll credits while Love Me Like Doodoo plays in the background* *
(WOAH thats a lot of likes what the heck)
The entire time i was confused about your lipstick, but then you explained it and i lost my shit
I couldn't not see her mouth as a little football after she spoke about it.
The pregnancy reveal scene is on CZcams and the comments are funny as hell. The women are just like, "Oh you're mad I'm pregnant? You should've pulled out then."
That's honestly amazing. Sometimes the internet does terrible things, but this makes me think maybe the whole thing wasn't a mistake.
I actually laughed out loud when he started singing while playing the piano it was amazing
Sayrah Glenn me too....also when Ana opened the drawer full of vibrators.
I think it would be really great if the movie ended with a 'Fight Club' style flashback where we (and Anna) realise that the movie has been portraying Christian purely as seen through the lens of Anna's various psychoses. In fact he is a rational, kind man who is constantly baffled and hurt by Anna's OTT reactions to his attempts at normal human interaction. The reason he always seems expressionless is that Anna's mind blanks out the looks of hurt and confusion on his face in order to protect her sense of self-rectitude.
Also the sex dungeon is just a spare dining room when we see it in the flashbacks.
Michael Milne that's ingenious, I would indeed watch that
Michael Milne I would watch the hell out of that
Wait, you mean we weren't meant to see him as a rational and kind man already?
You own a red hat.
Michael Milne
Turns out they're Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, just to add my terrible idea to your good one. lol
The "Jack Hyde hates Christian" story line is literally the set up to the movie Megamind. This is funny to me
"This relationship is only red flags; no flags of any other colour." This is such a concise description of the entire series.
For a series called "50 shades of *gray"*
There seems to be alot of shades of red
I love this girl she has a cartoon character's voice
It's not a coincidence that she did the voicework for the best MLP:FiM fanseries out there: czcams.com/video/EDWp9IC1ZxI/video.html
HOLY SHIT THATS WHERE I RECOGNIZED HER VOICE LMAOOO
@ODC Art Water Closet?
@ODC Art World Cup?
@ODC Art Water color?
I wasn't expecting the third installment to be a musical. My favorites were "Springtime for Christian," "They Both Reached For The Plug" and "Keep it Grey."
They both reached for the plug!!! LMAO
as a bank teller who works in seattle and has not seen or read 50shades, i listened to that whole hypothetical bank customer story and i wish id taped how my facial expression changed as i listened, bc thats fricked up
If the moral of the whole series is "Never have sex again", it actually accomplishes driving this point in, deeply and viscerally
The Kreutzer Sonata Pt 2: Reverse Psychology Boogaloo
seriously. this movie could be a cure for sëx and pørn addiction. 💀
1. Bail was $500,000 but bond would likely be $50,000 (possibly less for someone with a squeaky record).
2. So many of the decisions in this movie were to keep the cast-count low. Can't switch out actors for the 3rd installment, so I'm sure they made bank compared to the previous films.
3. I know people at banks, none of them have ever heard of one keeping more than $1 MM on hand, typically more like $2-300k.
4. Worse than not having that cash is actually trying to carry it. Using only $100 bills, they would weigh 110 pounds (fresh, clean bills). Using the more commonly available $20 bills, closer to 600 lbs.
That sounds hilarious.
And I really get the impression that trying to move anything more than, say, $5,000 ticks off alarms at the IRS, Homeland Security, the FBI, etc., and may even require a waiting period: big movements of money are kind of weird, and look suspiciously like money laundering or other crimes.
@@pietrayday9915 yuuup
Pietr Ayday. E.L. James is a hack, and is just copying films made decades ago with this nonsense. Shell accounts would be easier for him to move with while it doesn’t require him to meet anybody, and Jack Hyde, polymath extraordinaire would know that, surely, from all his fiction editing.
I haven't seen any of the films, nor read any of the books. Thank you for confirming that they're basically a ripoff of Trapped in a Island with Josh Hutcherson
oh please. EL James could NEVER pull off that act 3 twist
@@homestuck_official Says the person in old lady clothes I cunningly laid out for them
That whole rational bathing suit top conversation you came up with is magical.
I got so invensted in Rational!Christian and Rational!Anna's relationship
One of my favorite aspects of Jenny's narration is the way she reads Christian Grey's dialogue in the voice of a decrepit Gothic vampire, which I daresay is more accurate to his character than traits of an actual human being.
*"That's the only way to control a woman; have sex with her."*
- Jenny Nicholson, 2018, shortly before starting a second channel as a Pick-Up Artist.
You jest, but I would watch the heck out of that.
Shaun Cheah pickup advice from Jenny would be hilarious
Watching her go around in a fuzzy hat and pick up (creep out) confused straight girls would be funny.
I love this woman. The description of the sex scene was disgusting though. “Meat.”
I would happy control Jenny then...
I love it when Jenny reviews movies im never gonna watch... I feel like I somehow benefit in an unlikely and unexpected way
she watches it so we don't have to!
Her dry humor, sarcasm and cynicism is brilliant. At least in my opinion
I'm addicted to reviews.
Darth Franklin
Why is no one talking about how Jenny made a DYI bangs by clipping the back of her hair forward AND the fact that she did it because Ana has bangs?!! 🤣 iconic
Edward's- I mean, Christian's- sister. I'm dead. LOL.
I never watched any of these movies but like hearing you talk about them lmao
Chandasouk Same. Also with her Greatest Showman video. I have no intention of seeing that movie, but Jenny's video on it is extremely entertaining.
Mindful Movie Reviews Jenny is a national treasure. She belongs in a museum.
I've seen almost none of the movies and TV shows she talks about. She's just so darn clever and funny.
Mindful Movie Reviews I've heard like a million people say the greatest showman was amazing, and 0 people saying this movie was amazing. Don't skip something just because of one persons opinion! (50 shades is different though, sometimes you have to protect yourself from cringe)
Trust me, her description is more interesting then the movies. LOL
"It's like they just went to his facebook page and looked at all the stuff they could without adding him as a friend." Holy shit, that line just about killed me for some reason.
The way Jenny says ‘AnAsTaSiA’ while doing an impression of Christian’s voice is my favorite part of this review.
The author honestly missed the chance to have their married name be Steele-Grey.
Also I've been reading the BNHA manga and one of the author's character sheets describes Bakugo as explosively petty and that sums up Christian perfectly.
As a guy who's gf made him see the first Fifty Shades movie, I remember having to hold back laughter because of how irrational everyone acted in first one. Glad to hear that after TWO more feature length films that there still isn't any character development
mjlewis002 my gf made me watch all 3 and let me tell you the first one is godfather 2 compared to the latest one.
They can't do shit because they are adapting a shit book lol
The bit with the house didn't make any sense. In "...Darker" Ana points out that she likes a house along the shoreline while they're sailing, Christian then buys that house, but then when Christian presents this to her we find out he's also hired an architect who intends to tear down the house and build a new one in it's place. Like... Huh!? He's acting like she said "I like this lake.", or something. She said she liked the house, THAT house, why would he make plans to destroy it? I'm sure the only reason that scene is there is because it gives Ana an excuse to show off how confident and ballsy she apparently is now, by telling another woman "THAT MY MAN!", but the contrivance used to make it happen makes Christian look like a huge idiot.
I have not seen the films but from what I have heard he seems to get off Embarrassing or showing off to Ana. I wonder how much money it takes to buy a house that was most likely not on the market? He must have paid 3 or 4 times what it was worth though with Property if the family there was happy with the house and the area no amount is going to get it unless you go to silly money IE paying 10 or 20 times what its worth "okay kids I know you know the other children in the area and enjoy the seaside but apparently this man is offering to pay for all of you to go to university and buy a car each!"
No one was living there.
Kye Dysarthria she wanted to live there or at least just liked looking at it because it’s pretty, they’re not talking about Christian destroying a house with a family inside 😭
I figured it was some kind of power play by Christian. Like he is saying "oh, you like this house? Well now it's gone. You like me and only me." Then he has something else built which I guess he is ok if she likes because he was the reason it exists.
Monster fox; clearly dean was since he said Christian bought the house from a family despite it being explained that it was abandoned.
7:00 this whole thing about the email address is especially bizarre to me, since in my experience, every newly married professional woman I know has just kept her maiden name on her work email because it's too much of a hassle.
Also, it's not like you actually get a new email address, they just set up an alias for your new name that gets forwarded to your original email. The maiden name address still exists.
I'm absolutely dying at "I couldn't keep eating my soup."
I feel this so hard.
This movie would have been SO MUCH BETTER if Tommy Wiseau had directed it.
You're tearing me apart Anna!!!!
At least the sex scenes would be longer
EVERY movie would be better if Tommy Wiseau directed it
Ben, I absolutely concur.
@@timy9197 And the dude would get naked in what is supposed to be ladyporn.
Literotica has stories with far better plot lines and character arcs.
Subhajit Deysarkar So does Archive of Our Own :)
Oh yes.
God yes
i once read a thing on literotica that was barely porn, mostly complex exploration of the morality of endangered species and the way women are treated in corporate settings and i was just like, jesus. this will be classic literature
@@viceroymarx406 A good story challenges you and provides insight into ideas that you take for granted.
A great story does that and also has hardcore sex scenes.
That scene where Anastasia comes back from the honeymoon and the servants tell her that she's the boss and in charge just sounds like an updated version of the scene in Disney's Beauty and the Beast where the talking furniture sings "Be Our Guest."
I still think they should have gone with my title. "Domestic abuse: The movie".
It was written by the books' author (the previous writer and director were removed due to conflicts with her, so they brought in a puppet writer and director) who has spent her adult life making a very big deal out of people calling it Domestic Abuse, or even people playing down the levels of domestic abuse to make a watchable film.
You suffer for our entertainment. Thank you for your sacrifice.
I can't believe Dan Olson spent an entire 2.5 hours reviewing the series and did not once mention Ana's lipstick
I’ve been waiting for Dan to do a couple of “things I missed” addendum videos 😄
You sure you didn't just describe the montage from Shrek 2?
The sex scenes in these movies range from pretentious to outright dangerous portrayals of S and M. I really don't understand how anyone making this movie could think any of this was a good idea
Spaceboomer Darkchaser I’ve heard that a lot of the bdsm community absolutely despises the fifty shades franchise because it’s not an accurate representation of the practice and is a lot more consensual than fifty shades makes it out to be. Plus Christian Grey is just an emotionally abusive creep so I don’t quite understand why anyone would want to fantasize over someone like him.
riley sunderland I can understand considering it's supposed to be a fun thing and not a symptom of a sociopath's control issues.
From what I've heard the first movie promoting items like cable ties for use in BDSM is in itself very dangerous so this series is just romanticizing physically and mentally unhealthy relationships more than actual BDSM or anything else
because he is hot? if it was an average looking guy, it would be a sexual harrassment, duh
BUGZ ARMY what Ayn Rand is a good writer and her thoughts are still discussed
Spaceboomer Darkchaser It was written by a woman who thought twilight was good writing and was having a midlife crisis so she wrote lady porn because sex sells. It does not have to be intelligent or talented, so long as you draw in the perverts and people who think that relationships should be like that.
not so much an emotional rollercoaster as it is mentally unstable mood swings
I think these movies might be for people who have only ever been in toxic relationships and can't imagine an alternative realistically existing, so their fantasy is just "what if I still had an abusive toxic boyfriend buuut he was HOT and RICH."
Ordinary person: I don't want to have kids because I'm not financially secure and I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of responsibility yet
Christian:I would be jealous
I mean... Literary agents ARE scary. I totally buy that part. lmao
"Wait. Is that, like, the moral... of the whole series?" *HAAAA* !!!
Anastasia? More like Anesthesia.
Top drawer...
Euthanasia*
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂
Ana: That’s a nice house.
Christian: If you like it that much, it’s yours!
The way you say "ANASTASIA!" reminds me of Christopher Lloyd screeching "Dasvidaniya, Anastasia!" and that just makes it better
I have never read a 50 Shades book nor watched a 50 Shades movie, but I thoroughly enjoyed this.
I'm glad Jenny got into the whole incident at the bank. I work at a bank, and I howled in laughter at that whole segment of the book. They didn't try to even fix it in the movie. The books are a train wreck - you know you ought not to look, but they are strangely compelling (in a bad way). Unintentionally funny. I never laughed so much. I read them to write a spoof. I don't know if the couple page piece I got out of it was worth it.
Apparently the author took control after the first movie, because she didn't like the way the director tried to fix her stupid fan fiction.
What I don't understand is why the books weren't edited before they were published. Of course stories written for fun/free by a hobby author on her phone aren't going to be masterpieces.
Karlijn S The editors tried but ELJ rejected their changes (or, in one case, fired her original editor because they tried to make too many changes)
You get hassled when you even deposit large amounts
"his scary emotionless face" I ACTUALLY LAUGHED
Honestly Jenny’s Christian impression is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen
I’ve never heard the expression “worked up into a lather” before. Now I’m going to use it constantly for the rest of my life because it is great. Thank You.
It's a reference to rabies. You're welcome.
GuanoLad, I'd always just thought it was a reference to soap.
I'm sad now.
It is a reference to working up a sweat (possibly from anger), derived from how horses have a protein like emission that wets the fur to aid heat transfer that becomes frothy.
It was originally a reference to 1950's serial science fiction when it was 'Worked up into a Laser', but the person had a lisp and the rest is history.
It's a reference to a lather of moist scrotal cheese, produced by the friction from engorged testicles with a damp scrotum.
Jenny you always sound pretty sensible about relationship matters. Have you considered running a “Dear Jenny” advice column?
omg pls
This is a great idea!
I would like Jenny's sarcastic advice for my pathetic life.
Thread Bomb It would be great!
Receive abuse from Jenny for free! Apply now.
Can I just point out how similar Jenny's voices are for Christian Grey and for Palpatine?
...Sorry to ruin your day.
I love how far you took that imagined argument by rational Anastasia and Christian stand-ins.