I did it. I found the Worst Book.
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- čas přidán 21. 09. 2017
- "We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life." - C-3PO
Get YOUR very own copy of Troll by Emma Clark today! (Does not come with my incredulous notes in the margins.) www.amazon.com/Troll-First-3-B...
Select your favorite romance novel trope:
Slave of sexy werewolf - / jennynicholson
Cowboy boyfriend joins the army - / jennyenicholson
Secret billionaire baby - / spider_jewel
Billionaire werewolf and his five sexy brothers - / jennynicholsonvids
Uh it's a Scottish guy - / spiderjewel - Krátké a kreslené filmy
I want you to know that years later, you have influenced the purchasing of this and the Jeff the killer books so much that they are suggested in the “frequently bought together” part of their Amazon pages
True social progress at its finest!
She can't keep getting away with this.
@@TheSanityX It’s an abomination.
Lol omg that is AMAZING 😆
Holy shit no way lmao
That's it. From now on, every villainous monolog should be delivered while the villain is doing an awkward striptease.
“And now Superman” says Lex Luthor as he pulls off his shoulderpads.
@@macoy3943 no.
Perry the platypus *doofenshmirtz slides his lab coat down his shoulders* how nice of you to show up
LMFAO you guys are killing me. I actually cried reading these comments I laughed so hard
"Batman!" Joker starts unbuttoning his suit "You're finally here!"
"Tummy" is so fundamentally anti-sexual that I am making it my new safe word.
Only surpassed by tum-tum
Had a potential partner refer to her lady bits as her "cookie" and I noped the fuck out of that situation like a deadbeat dad on Christmas morning. Sorry, I think I left my... something on, gotta go.
@@Jharrisimages oh god, I'd feel like a pedo if I got with someone like that...
It's a better safe word than "grandma" that's for sure
@@Grock620 Au contraire! A safe word's purpose is to STOP the current sexual activity being engaged in. Can you think of anything that would halt a sexual encounter in its tracks faster than one of the participants hollering out "GRANDMA!" Seems to me like it would be super effective.
"Why don't you want me?"
He asks wearing a devil mask with an airbrushed T in the middle, half-naked in her room which he broke into.
Five minutes after threatening her father
And the T stand for Troll
holding a gun
No context because I stopped the video one minute in (to get over the love interest's last name of all things), but judging from this I can tell that this book is going to be a doozy.
@@PinoccThePiccolo A doozy, it do be.
I thought this was going to be a erotic book about a woman who falls in love with an actual, literal troll.
Man am I disappointed
Annabelle Evans LOL. Would a woman and an actual troll count as beastiality, or is a troll humanoid enough that it wouldn't?
@@ladymaiden2308 Depends are we looking at something from dnd or elder scrolls? or are we talking about something from wow?
Shrek?
l3luSpy um, you tell me, please. I'm more of a mermaid girl. I know nothing yet of trolls.
l3luSpy and if you don't mind, please attach as much of an explanation as you care to leave. I am curious, but not pushy.
My personal favourite self published series is Bearllionaire.
"He's a billionaire, and a bear, and he'd never let anything happen to his mate... "
PositivelyVillainous wait is this an actual book?
@@asterixsubs3656 you can buy it on Amazon. Its not just a book...Its a series
But that just sounds awesome
PositivelyVillainous
wow, I love puns, but that... that made me cringe.
dDKJCBDSDJKScjDCNDSC;S BEARLLIONAIRE IS A GENUINE MASTERPIECE
I used to just browse the $0.00 priced books on kindle and once came across a book titled something like 'Brexit Made Me Gay'. I should have read it when I had the chance because I could never find it again...
Was it “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union”?
@@graealn9982 lol omg you found it! I love the Internet!
@@graealn9982 Gotta love Chuck Tingle.
soo.. how was the book? 🥲🥲
@@SUPERIDOLdesho lol, it wasn't free anymore when I looked it up again! I held off...
"a total whale at 125 pounds"
woah I'm a whole two whales big, that's kinda cool
I rule the sea
To quote Jedi Master Liam Neeson: "There's always a bigger fish."
You have to fuse with another two-whaled person and become the ultimate final boss
Uh if you're actually 250lbs you need to stop being 250lbs
@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should stop commenting on people’s weight
@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should find a life
the idea of an internet troll being "devilishly handsome" already breaks my suspension of disbelief
I am internet troll and wildly considered devilishly handsome where I live.
@@donaldhysa4836 where the heck do you live? Under a bridge?
@@Crinkfries In Eastern Europe people are generally better looking than americans here xD
@@donaldhysa4836 Yes, very nice.
@@theengine Thank you :D
How to gain a girl's trust:
_talk to her on a dating site, hack her computer, break into her house_
And they say that romance is dead.
A tale as old as time
Does it work on guys too?
Not a d.e.n.n.i.s. system, but you get the same results
@rakat sceptic But you're at her apartment, right? So all's good.
He should have quoted rickroll lyrics at her at the end, and it turns out the entire book was a convoluted rickroll.
"As he walked out the door, she began to sob. He turned, flipped down his sunglasses and said, 'Deal with it.'"
That would have actually been good
I'll Find you Kendra!
We're no Strangers to Love! You know the Rules and So do I!
@@Jharrisimages
Ain't that just 'gone with the wind'?
@@llewelynshingler2173 A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy.
"He broke into her house and was not invited in" So at least he's not a vampire, I guess...
Depends on which kind there are :P
Sparkles?
"His pouty lips belonged to a face etched with strong features" did anyone else think of Handsome Squidward???
I read your comment as soon as she said it lmao
I didnt...but now i cant not. The whole time shes reading this im picturing a 21 year old girl with a cartoon character that belongs in the uncanny valley. Thank you
Well *NOW* I am.
So you're saying Original Squidward isn't handsome!?
How did you know
Actual Book: 0/10
Review of Book: 11/10
I'd upvote, but you have 1111 upvotes.
My husband looked in because I was laughing and I said, "this is a review of a bad book. The book was bad, the review was great." So, yes, I totally agree.
Girl: “I turn men’s heads on the street all the time”
Also girl: says she received the first ever compliment on her physical appearance at over 20 years old
Literally not inaccurate if you're social akward and never talk to people
@@rattyeely yeah but generally socially awkward people don’t vain-brag about how they are so attractive or turn mens heads on the street all the time. Normally socially awkward people thinking when peoples heads turn when they’re walking down the street, it’s a negative connotation (like they’re ugly or weird or “everyone’s always looking at me they can tell I’m not normal”, not assuming it’s bc they’re so wildly attractive and irresistible. Socially awkward people aren’t exactly full off themselves or think they’re really good looking and attractive.
It’s like the unrealistic meme trope of the hot girl who is popular and shallow but says stuff like “omg I’m soooo ugly no one’s ever told me I’m pretty before” “omg guys are alwayyyyysss looking at me when I walk in a room it’s sooooo annoying I’m just so introverted uwu” and “i totally don’t have any friends no one ever talks to me” while all simultaneously saying “omg guys are always hitting on me it’s like I can’t even go unnoticed walking down the street it’s so hard being hot”.
She only "turns heads" because she's an absolute whale at 125 pounds. 😂
@@didiercollard To be fair, chubbiness is a factor of both weight and height. The book doesn't _say_ she's taller than 4'8".
@@timothymclean lol I'm only 5'2 when my weight dips below 120 I look absolutely skeletal.
It's not just height, it's your bone structure, if you have wide hips and shoulders, a longer torso, etc.
"I'm a receptionist at a pediatric clinic"
I, a receptionist at a pediatric clinic, listening to this video while prepping for work, am truly horrified.
I'm pretty sure that the only reason Kyla Atkins has a job is that her daddy, the corrupt judge, has some dirt on the pediatrician. That's why she never gets fired for not showing up or goofing off on the job. Kyla's just not sharp enough to figure out that her salary is essentially a form of blackmail payment.
Wait does she like bad boys or badly written boys.
I think it's badly written 😂
It's unclear
Why do girls only like badly written boys, and not nicely written boys like me?
Usually the same thing
Yes
“I like to go to Amazon, buy strange self-published books, and give them to people who clearly don’t want them.”
Aaaand subscribed
The problem I would have if one of my friends was doing the same thing is that I still wouldn't get any books, because getting gifted random bad books sounds hilarious to me and thus I wouldn't count as not wanting them xD
I know what I'm gonna give people for christmas gifts next christmas.
Likewise
Same
She's revolutionizing my terrible ability to select gifts. Finally I see the light
I found this author's blog and she's definitely a woman. She says she was 38 in 2013 which is around the time Troll was published. She wrote four Troll "novels," then told her readers that she wasn't going to continue the series. She stopped writing around 2016. It seemed like she was having some health problems and she mentioned homeschooling her daughter. She also seemed disillusioned with self-publishing. She thought she was going to be the next E.L. James, then realized that wasn't likely to happen. I suspect Troll was inspired by 50 Shades of Grey since she mentioned James several times.
Me who thought she was gonna fall in love with an actual troll: "My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined."
"an absolute whale at 125 pounds" either this girl is extraordinarily short or this author has zero concept of what is considered overweight. something tells me it's the latter.
She might have been reading Bridget Jones Diary
Maybe author confused pounds and kilos
Wait, am I the only one who assumed that "our heroine" was a member of the Lollipop Guild?
Nah she's totally 1 foot tall
Maybe she ment kilograms and got confused...
"It's kind of hard to know what her problem is."
I think it's pretty obvious. At 2:14 you say she 'turns men's heads in public'. That's not a metaphorical statement, she actually goes down the street and just wrenches guy's heads. She's forced to stay in her apartment watching lovers walk the street because she's under house arrest for multiple assaults.
i love you
I actually did a spit take when I read this...well played...LOL
Chaos Shadow I was brushing my teeth when I read your comment. Nearly choked on my toothbrush. D:
Worth it. Thank you.
Hahahahaha 🤣
That actually made me laugh 😂😂😂
honestly all tinder harassment should involve a striptease where they explain exactly how they hacked into your phone
i want you to know that i have watched this video multiple times but it took me forever to realize that the front cover was a steamy romance cover and not an illustration of a garden troll. the mind sees what it wants to see.
I thought it was a polar bear first 😅 paused it and then saw what it was supposed to be 😂
A fanfiction I wrote when I was seven involving Mewtwo and Mew and their children is better and more consistent then whatever this is.
And creative most likely
That's incest.
@@bossman6798 sweet home alabama question mark
bUT MEW IS MEWTWOS MOTHER
@@nope-ve9ks even better :)
It's a Trolligy
tigist sahlemariam HAHA
underated comme t
go to the shame corner
*Get Out*
Go home
10:55 I just realized Justin Brogan sounds like “Justin broke in” which would also be accurate
Why can’t these “authors” just get a Tumblr account like a normal weirdo?
excuse you
redmanish “normal weirdo” 😂
花菊 I sense a Tumblr weirdo
@@wokeslush9489 excuse you
Are there different levels of weird?!
"Styled in a faux hawk, blond highlights streaked his auburn hair"
Somehow I'm thinking of Guy Fieri right now
Who wouldn't want Guy Fieri breaking into their house to seduce them? I had just assumed everyone had that fantasy at some point...
@@BritishTeaFGC And describing himself stripping the same way he describes the addition of ingredients to a dish
@@BritishTeaFGC I'd love for Guy Fieri to take me to Flavortown
His multi-ringed fingers slowly began to unbutton his fire print silk shirt, his sultry eyes peering lustfully over his Oakley sunglasses, a wry smile across his goateed face. “The paprika gives the rub an extra kick that makes these ribs...the bomb-dot-com.” Guy’s raspy tones were driving me wild. I couldn’t take it anymore. As if the flames themselves were making me sweat, I ripped off the rest of his shirt, buttons flying across the kitchen. I ran my hands through the curls of his chest, stared into his eyes. “Oh, Guy! Take me to flavortown!” I moaned. “I want your donkey sauce all over me.”
@@chiefrief2940 Sweet Jesus, this comment almost killed me. That has to be the hardest I'd ever laughed at a comment, ever. Bravo.
You should think about writing a comedy story, will probably be better than whatever this story was.
despite this book being terrible, it does seem to have the most accurate description of hacking I've ever seen in a work of fiction
Oh my god, you’re right. How was the bar that low
Further proof it was actually written by a guy
@@Degioannie uhm what
@@Degioannie very true, I'd always heard it's physically impossible for a woman to know hacking, even in the slightest. Those stories about women trying and immediately exploding were heartbreaking.
@@snoozley853 stereotypes exist for a reason. For some reason or another, men enjoy dealing with computers in general more than women. Idk why. Obviously it's not a good idea to make broad generalizations, I'm a guy and I'm basically tech illiterate, but the trend is still pretty accurate.
It's a testament to this books awfulness when Jenny, who is typically very well-spoken and illustrative about her thoughts, is resigned to just saying "... Girl" after the bit at 12:00.
This is how every guy who sends horrifyingly obscene sexual messages ACTUALLY thinks its going to play out, isn’t it? Yikes.
The fact that you're probably right makes me feel absolutely terrified
@@taliajung1553 they're not 'probably right'
They're absolutely right
Textbook for nice guys, neckbeards and incels... Bleh
sometimes it works
@@MrLTiger Kick in the balls or YA as a learning material for dating?
working title: The Hot Hunk Who Hacked My Heart
keep the alliteration: a Hot Hunk Hacked my Heart
abreviated: HHHH
*Hacker voice* "I'm in (love)."
Bro I guarantee that if this was a Chuck Tingle work it would be a masterpiece
707 lol?
This was either written by a teenager that only reads fics on wattpad, or a Christian middle-aged mom
My thoughts exactly
I’m left with two giant questions I have to get out for my own sanity’s sake:
If he’s a hacker, why was his job to seduce a woman, gain access to her apartment, and then search it for physical evidence? None of that seems to play to a hacker’s strenghts. Why not try to access the judge’s computer or phone to find evidence by, you know, hacking him? Or if you can ‘hack’ her front door, why not just do that while she’s at work, and then search her apartment then?
The woman was very interested in getting a date, and had self esteem issues. Maybe try to seduce her by just asking her out nicely, and then gain her trust by being romantic? Acting crazy, admitting you hacked her, and breaking into her house sounds like the wrong strategy to reach your objective in every possible way.
Ugh, I have to go now, my brain is revolting…
So is hers HEYOOOO
Whatever the case, the "everything that has happened so far was all just a spy job" is about the lamest - and thus hilarious - narrative plot twist imaginable.
Wait... he's a ginger with blond highlights who styles his hair in a faux-hawk?
Was she trying to imagine the worst hair you could give a male character?
TheSongwritingCat I think the worst male hair is a lilac tonsure.
Only makes since in anime.
@@EmilysAdventuresInHorrorland That's very funny.
At least it’s not a mullet?
I think she imagined 3 potentially hot hairstyles/hair types separately but then put them together to make something far worse.
the tagline really should be "He can be your angle or yuor devil"
I don't know if the misspellings were intentional or not, but they would be appropriate for this book. Yes, it should be the tagline!
*yuo'rve
@@tracychristenson177 there was an indian facebook post where he posted that
*ur
@@tracychristenson177 it was intentional i think
My husband is an *actual* computer guy who found my location because we were in the same computer lab. We were actually sitting in the same row. He looked over and said "hi" and I jumped out of my skin because we were in a West coast IRC channel talking to each other in the Midwest.
(We became good friends first, and then romanced later.)
Something tells me that this girl doesn't want a strong foundation to her escapades.
This was my first ever Jenny Nicholson video. I'm so glad this managed to hit the algorithm in a way that caused it to show up on my recommended page. She truly is a gift.
Man, you really got thrown in the deep end. I don't know what would qualify as "entry level Jenny" (probably one of the Star Wars videos) but this really isn't it. Have you by chance seen the gaslit labyrinth that is her MLP parody?
T - angels
R - of
O - light
L - and
L - darkness
*dankness
Oohhh
I suddenly see AOL ads in a new light.
Damn the most dangerous creatures in the universe, Tangels.
Tangles Rof O’light Land L’darkness?
"She's an absolute whale, at 125 pounds"
Me, who's 144 pounds: oh my god thats so many
Fr😔 I'm tall so that makes up for my weight
Wow, I'm 5'6.5" and look too thin at 135 lbs, so I'd probably look emaciated at 125. I'm currently 150 lbs and size medium. Can only imagine what the author would think of someone my size or.... an actual plus size person if they believe 125 lbs is a "whale."
It's less than 60 kilograms
me, at over 200 pounds: _yes so many_
turbulentbeauty I would assume the character is probably around 5’2? But even then you would only be slightly, *slightly* overweight, you definitely would not be described as a “whale” lol
If you go and see the Goodreads page of this book, you're gonna be shocked. The people who genuinely love this thing? They exist
they what
In an ironic way?
Nah the author sends out the books to people for free in exchange for good reviews - one of the reviewers actually said this, then left a 5 star review...
😱
I feel like Revealing Eden: Save the Pearls is the worst book. It's about how a white girl has to use blackface to survive in a post-apocalyptic society
Wait what?
Oh god, why does that ring a bell? I think I saw a screenshot of the blurb somewhere, and it was overwhelmingly racist. Like some sort of "white genocide" fetish fantasy written by a Republican.
Why does the apocalypse dislike white people?
@@davidtaylor142 Because it was brought upon the world by liberal sjw black gay antifa commie feminazis!
@@ribozyme2899 obviously /s
What can I say, I'm a quirky guy.
your insatiable hunger for control is very charming, justin
Nice b00bz
Damn it justin get out
With the low resolution photo and everything 🤦♀️😂
I’m gonna follow you... idk why. Maybe you’ll hack my computer and sneak into my apartment😂
are we just gonna ignore how dumb the name "justin brogan" is
Hulk Hogan's little brother
Kyla Adkins is equally bad
How dare you! I have a friend called Justin Brogan. [sorry just a meme :D]
Justin Brogan, from Broregon City, Broregon, USA. His interests include hacking, trolling, and brorigami.
@Maurits Who the fuck is attracted to even the slightest hint of the word "bro"
For being 21 years old, the protagonist sure feels like an alien chronicling their first day on planet earth
I'm a little disappointed that a story that started with "What's your bra size?" turned out not to have any heaving bosoms in it.
Because the readers were the o es heaving.
I still just don't know WHY it changed from weird technologically-inept online romance erotica horror to weird technologically-inept crime hacker thriller horror???
The shift was jarring and I loved it.
Well she DID have to fit 3 books in there
Apparently the best books change up the genre half way in order to be unique! :/
Now you know why publishers are a good idea and self-publishing not so much.
Because the second one is better than the that romance trash
In theory, a story about a hacktivist seducing a corrupt judge’s daughter in order to expose his crimes as they fall in love sounds like a sexy, thrilling crime novel. In execution, we get THIS. 🤢
It probably could have been better if it was longer than seven chapters and showed rather than told all of this. Instead it all gets revealed in pillow talk!
You’ve got me thinking about the book it had the potential to be.
I am so pissed off.
Completely agree, that’s actually an interesting premise. But it seems it was a very tall order for the author.
@@anothermillennialschannel-9815 If this was written by someone like James Patterson, that shit would've blown up the New York Times Bestseller list and we all know it. It's disgraceful.
Let me know if a good book with this or a similar premise exists because now I'm invested
This story reminds me of when I had to write an SAT writing prompt and described the characters in detail only to realize I only had 15 minutes left to have them actually do something
Can't believe I finally found a protagonist with my name and it's this
i pity you.
“You owe me, Kyla.”
"Justin, a name that stole my breath and accelerated my pulse." That's called FEAR, bud!
I don't know why this comment amused me, but it did. Probably because it's true for this character
hahahaha
Suddenly realizing how many emotions involve accelerated heart rate.
Why would a name scare her though?
Justin is such a scary name.
Fifty Shades of Troll
Still a better love story than Fifty Shades Of Gray
Now a Lifetime Channel original movie.
This is the legacy of E.L. James
My god man..
madlants excited for the lifetime movie how fun. Hopefully it's a sequel to cyber sex or whatever.
one of the worst books ever is called "Troll"
one of the worst films ever is called "Troll 2"
the question is, when will the trilogy end, and what medium will "Troll 3" be in?
I believe it was Edgar Cayce who predicted that a song called Trolls 3 would be the final sign of the apocalypse. When the song hits #1 on the charts, we will all face our doom.
Nfts
This is like if two strangers were roleplaying 50 Shades over Skype, and then it escalated to actually meeting at her place and they didn't know where to take it from there....
So...she didnt know how to get rid of Justin, so she WENT TO SLEEP?
She pulled a Victor Frankenstein.
Nice reference!
This book does not deserve such an intelligent reference!
@@threatening_kitchen_utensi6632 Sounds like it ended about as well for her too. :I
nice comment m8
Who can forget Justin Brogan's final speech, as what's-her-name fled across a New York street with a pocket full of mysterious cancelled cheques?
“You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?”
...God damn, where's the _Frankenstein_ fanfic? _Dracula_ gets all the action!
I hate when people describe muscles as bulging. Like, it nakes me think of some body builder that has overdone the steroids and is wearing a speedo that is obviously three sizes too small. Like, gross. Bulging is not a sexy word.
Kia Maria muscles just make me feel ill either way. I'm wierd, I know.
bulge owo
His bulging bulge bulgingly bulged from his bulges.
Makes me want to self publish a creepypasta fanfic called *MOIST BULGING*
"Justin's sexy blue eyes bulged out"...I may see what you're saying
I just can't get over the concerned look that the porg behind Jenny has. It looks both amazed, worried and flabbergasted, clearly worried for Jenny's mental health while reading this book. Same, little guy, same.
the idea of a troll being able to speak to a woman is the most unrealistic thing about this book
Guy: “I’m a member of T.R.O.L.L., it’s an acronym”
Girl: “An acronym of what?!”
Author: ohshit.gif [desperately tries to think of words relevant enough that would fit the acronym]
Guy: 👁 👄 👁
T.R.O.L.L.: Trespassing Rapey Online Lady Lurkers
Taskforce Rollerblade Orcs Lay Low
That story is really dated for being published in 2014, however in 1984 that story would have had a theatrical release
Awesomely awful just like a lot of things that were somehow made
Doug Sullivan you know, it's 2017 and two movies have already been made about a badly written Twilight fanfic that got turned into a romance about bondage.
ElRook I do know but I'm not sure how old you are but a plot like what you described would have definitely existed on cinemax late Saturday night, in fact I'm positive that you could probably find 3
Doug Sullivan Other way around I think. You have a very skewed idea of 80s movies. Twilight and 50 Shades are 💯 millennial made
toriloveSubarukun oh I know 80s movies I was alive during the latter half of of it and I never referenced twilight that was someone else
I just checked and, assuming she's of average height, 125 lbs is smack dab in the middle of the ideal range for her BMI, which is genuinely concerning if the author considers that 'whale' weight.
I agreee
It really depends on height too and age. But hard to believe that 125 would ever be whale weight I am personally around 200 range and 5 foot 9 and that is technically overweight but yeah. It honestly makes me mad when people who don’t actually weigh that much or weigh at an healthy weight day they are too fat. You beautiful bissshh every size. 🤣
willofbob
And the REAL average weight of an American woman is 180 pounds. That’s average. Everyone is lying
Maybe she has dwarfism?
@@MrShanester117 Yes, but the "average" American woman is overweight. 40% are obese. 180 may be the average, but it's overweight.
I wish more than anything she would bring this back! It’s oddly nice to be read to and joked with. Trigger Warning has been my favorite so far but this cracked me up too!
I've heard this explained thusly: the nonconsent fantasy is that someone gives you sexual satisfaction while removing your agency, allowing you to feel blameless in experiencing it. It's appealing to people who were raised to hold the belief sex is not something to be enjoyed and not to be shared with anyone other than your husband/wife/one true love.
This is actually such a good analysis, that makes complete sense
This explains so much
with the specifically Christian dating site in this particular erotica that’s a big tell for me
I looked it up. Apparently she IS a mom from the midwest. Good lord.
How completely unexpected
Oh boy. I feel sorry for the kids.
and there is a part four :)
SERIOUSLY?! I thought this was a neck beard guy that pretended to be “Emma Clark”
...SHE IS ALSO A CHILDREN"S BOOK AUTHOR. Her list of books written include this abomination and other erotica with fairy tale retellings and rhyming the alphabet
*Hacker voice* "I'm in (love)."
i'd read something with this as a title
@@svgarsnap Good, because I plan to write a 20-part series. It'll just be the transcript for this video and the the text from the actual book scrambled together into 20 different combinations.
Sounds like a cheesy Nickelodeon original movie
Yusuf Kadar yesss
*Hacker's voice* "I'm in (her)."
Jenny in 2017: maybe this will kill the kindnapping-and-dubious-consent "romance" novel
2020: 365 days happens
It was a dark and trollish night.
the name "justin brogan" has major chad energy if you ask me
also is nobody gonna talk about how god awful spiky auburn hair with blonde highlights is
It's a cursed hairstyle. No one wants to talk about it.
@@ReiAnikaAyanami haha fair enough
it was SO HARD TO PICTURE
Is it guy fieri after all?
The hairstyle of someone in a college rock band in 2003
"I don't want to offend anyone named Justin, but... it's just Justin."
I choked laughing 😂
I was so glad my name isn't Justin.
*sighs
My dad's name is Justin lok
I read this as she said it lol
The really weird thing is how accurate the hacking explanation actually was... but still not accurate enough for me to think the author is an actual hacker
15:02 “like just to be clear, this worked on her because she’s weird” 😂
"... a deadly, sexually potent man with intelligence sharp enough to get him accepted in Mensa."
LMAOOOOOO
I know that's not what it means, but that sentence always makes me laugh because in German, "mensa" translates to (school) cafeteria and it just tickles me that he would brag to her that people let him in the cafeteria because he's so smart xD
@@lesmortimers4791 as a german, I was thinking the same thing when she read that part :D
it' hilarious how internet trolls always brag about being in Mensa yet suspiciously, apparently do nothing else with their colossal IQ they could brag about on the interwebz.
@@lesmortimers4791 same, in italian it means cafeteria hahah
Well spanish wise, mensa is stupid girl basically, so yeah, hes smart enough to get into a stupid girl.
“She’s insecure, but she turns men’s heads everywhere she goes.”
To quote KrimsonRogue: “Bella Swan harder!!!”
I mean, it's not impossible or even improbable. Being attractive doesn't mean you can't be insecure. But it IS a trope done to death.
She's actually just so ugly its horribly noticeable
I am a weird inverse Bella Swan in that I think I'm pretty dang cute and no one else seems to agree, so I can only conclude I'm biased. Or that men are intimidated by the intelligence, or don't like it that I snort when I laugh real hard.
@@FiddlebirdBlue You're so beautiful that everyone else is scared and has to put you down lest their fragile egos shatter like glass
She was 5'5", 124 lbs with long auburn hair and green eyes with little gold flecks. But no one wanted her because she was slightly socially awkward and tended to stutter when nervous.
K.
"Absolute whale at 125 pounds" how tall is she like 3 foot 2
"She's an absolute whale at 125 pounds"
Me, 125 pounds: . . . :(
My first instinct at that was "Well, 125 IS pretty overweight, _whale_ might be a rude way to phrase it but I still don't really get why she's laughing like that"... then I realized it was pounds and not kilogramms. It's like 56 kg. Which for my height would actually be UNDERweight lmao
125 is NOT overweight, don't worry about it love💕
"I think I've found the worst book...ever."
Me: [opens Word] "Challenge accepted."
I recommend Havemercy as reference material. READ IT IF YOU DARE.
Hold my beer.
On second thought, go get me more beers.
Slow your roll there Tara Gillespie lol
Would My Immortal count? Or is she talking published books? lmao
the gal who wrote my immortal is rose christo
E.L. James: I wrote the worst trilogy of all time.
Emma Clark: Hold my beer.
*hack my beer
John O'Neill that was a weird episode of Stand Alone Complex
Wine.
Part of him gaining her trust was breaking in to her house and somehow that worked
"Everything's bulgy" made my day.
Jenny Nicholson I don't know if anyone has made this comment yet: I have a degree in Digital Forensics, and that explanation of how he hacked her computer is 100% accurate. Mr. Robot isn't that accurate. A hacker wrote this book.
That’s what I was thinking. The rest is so badly written that it CANT have been a writer. It was a hacker trying to write romance. (I use the term ‘romance’ loosely)
Maybe it's a very bizarre wish fulfillment fic by a hacker?
@@Jessamine29 no shit,
I mean, who else would title their magnum opus with an acronym. Lol
I just assumed someone googled it or got help and copy pasted that part, since it’s so direct and technical and they otherwise don’t know how computers/the internet works.
"is there any word less attractive than tummy?"
Hiney.
Scrotum
Moist
Girth
my shiny hiney
theincredibledancock This and the responses... 😂
I know what the author means by "cringe" towards the end of the book, but it really feels like the protagonist is embarrassed for the T.R.O.L.L. when he started quoting song lyrics.
“Kyla” I’m imagining Adam driver in makeup and nobody can stop me
This feels like a Wattpad story
There are actually pretty good, creative stories in Wattpad that I actually would like it to be published. But instead, all that bad boy, abusive relationship, cliche shit gets to become a book.
*Ahem* Add me on WP. *Ahem* username is _LuvHurtz_
Nah, more like Quotev. For some reason this kind of stuff is just all over the place there.
comics geek It's alright; you can say The Kissing Booth.
It seriously does. There are a lot of amazing stories on wattpad, but there are also hundreds of books almost exactly like this one. I've been unfortunate enough to read the first pages of a few
Between this, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Grey, what is it with female authors romanticizing abusive and controlling relationships with creepy stalkers and sociopaths?
Probably a bunch of people with kinks but they don't realise it's not universal. Like Ayn Rand and her rape thing.
Graknorke it’s mostly fat lady’s that dnt get any sex lol u don’t see a cutie writing these books
@Ford Mustang76 Dude, uncalled for. And also, fix your spelling and grammar
I think there are also alot of dudes writing these books under female pen names.
Dr Shaym Why are you on every channel I watch
My real name is Justin. You should be honored. I don't always tell youtube channels my real name
THe most horrifying part is, uh...That explanation for how he hacked her is...Actually accurate to how one would do that? Like, that's not vague computer technobabble like you'd expect, that is...Shockingly accurate.
Stripping down while talking about how you hacked into a computer is the best kind of foreplay
Thegrandberry you say that jokingly, but as a programmer that would totally work on me
Gaby G.
Oh my god, your intricate knowledge of computers and your acceptence into Mensa is turning👏🏼 me👏🏼 on👏🏼
@rakat sceptic I prefer proficiency in Python, if you catch my meaning.
@-DepthCharge get you a girl who will greet you every morning with “print(“Hello world!”)”
@rakat sceptic crude joke warning: I prefer women proficient in D.
"i dont want to offend anyone named justin, but it's just justin!"
me: *sobbing in the distance*
jellybean justin
No more anti-Justin propaganda!
This Just-In ;D
Justins across the country begin a class action lawsuit to pursue a just-indictment of Jenny's attack on Justins
awh😭😂😂😂😂😂
I mean, I guess you could be named Karen
....like me. XD
@Boom Goes The Dynamite Aye
I am
Stripping
As I
Type this
You’ve been trolled.
Now we are in love.
Every time I think my book sucks , I watch this video
Genuinely not sure the author is a woman. The way she writes what womanhood and life is like doesn't line up. Sounds like the way a guy who identifies with the troll would write what being a woman is like. Most female writers spend time embellishing themselves whereas this writer endlessly praises the troll and the female character is just a follower to his actions, reactionary.
I thought the same, I've never red a women write about women this way. Maybe I'm wrong but it just seems like a guy has written it, based on how they describe women
@BigTastyTyrone HAH
Also I don't think a female writer would use the word "tummy" in a work of erotic fiction. Sounds more like a male writer who's unfamiliar with how women refer to their body parts. Makes me wish Jenny had gone a little more in-depth on the sex scenes, I feel like the words used for the more intimate parts would give more of this away.
This just reads like an incel fantasy.
I can all but guarantee that the author's real name is Justin.
I didn't know fanfics written by middle schoolers could get published nowadays...
The future is now
Komninos Maraslidis good point
*shakes fist* Curse you, Wattpad!
You just have discovered the power of Books on Demand. Welcome to 20XX!
Eragon was written by a 14yr old and it showed...
Girl: mentions her father
T.R.O.L.L.: You just activated my trap card!
This is basically a Niel Breen movie
I am aware that some women *dont* receive those messages.
Not me though. My favourite one ended the conversation with "Aishiteru, Madam"
I don't see how you could turn that down. That's some masterful romancing.
madam makes me think of the proprietor of a brothel which is instantly erotic
Smooth.
SUKI DESU, MY MISTRESS.
Ore wa Emilia ga suki da
“I don’t want to offend anyone named Justin but it’s just Justin...”
My name’s Justin and I found that hilarious 😂 😂😂
I was wondering if there would be any other's here...
Sure, you're Justin...
But are you Justin Brogan?
@@robincox2423 No, I'm Justin Sane.
@@justindenney-hall5875 So is Justin Brogan
Justin gang
the more Jenny read, the more my expression resembled the background porg in the witch hat.