15 Very Dumb Things in Fantastic Beasts 2
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- čas přidán 22. 11. 2018
- Can’t-spells is my new name for all you guys in the comments section.
Click your favorite thing that’s going to happen in Fantastic Beasts 3:
It turns out Buckbeak was a Filipino man named Buckbeak the whole time - / jennynicholson
We find out about Grindlewald’s crimes but they’re all white collar crimes and it’s kind of a weird energy - / jennyenicholson
They go somewhere warm and instead of an only slightly-different wardrobe where they’re all in similar long coats again, we get a movie of them all in tacky vintage beach fashion and Newt Scamander is in like khaki shorts that go to his knees - / spider_jewel
JKR accidentally includes backstory for a character from The Walking Dead, forgetting that she didn’t write that - / spiderjewel
Fantastic Beasts 3: HP Origins: Hagrid - / jennynicholsonvids - Krátké a kreslené filmy
Are the snakes behind you also secretly women?
I loved you in Fantastic Beasts 2
TIL jenny keeps a harem of snake women
Yes and they have been for 20 years
Remember it has to be diverse women cuz JK Rowling
@@timtam7294
They also have to be an unintentionally racist allegory, because JK Rowling.
Anyone remember that time she said that raving bloodthirsty beasts that want to infect children were actually an allegory for the victims of AIDS-hysteria?
How classy.
The Crimes of Grindelwald:
- Exceptional cruelty to a lizard
- Assembly without a permit
- Having a gay lover in England before 1967
- Wand theft
- That moustache
-being johnny depp and not colin farrell
- Adverse Possession (aka squatting)
- Grand Theft Auto (aka Taking without consent)
- Escape from Custody
also murdered about 30 people that we saw, but you know
Bad color lenses
-vaping
It's not really a crime it just makes him a douche
It would be pretty amazing if Newt didn't give a damn about Grindelwald's politics and was solely in it to avenge the lizard.
And it seems more in-character.
GOD YES
@@melodyhaviland9393 Plus, it explains the Holocaust thing.
"Why didn't wizardkind stop Hitler?"
"Well, one guy tried to warn us, but he was stopped by an animal-rights wizard."
"... What?"
KyleRayner12 amazing point!!
Like John Wick the wizard?
“Grindelwald is a nazi who wants to stop ww2, and queenie, a Jewish woman who can read minds, joins him”
Lol
lmao even
lmfao if you will
HAHA if u dare
Rofl if I may
teehee perchance
Two most disturbing things to my mind:
1) Two babies get killed in this movie. TWO.
2) Half elves are a thing. That they just brush over. Someone out there is screwing house elves. Why?
How... how did I miss this? And is it bad that I’m laughing?
Jesus christ, why are they even bothering fighting Grundlehump when every wizarding world law enforcement officer should be combining their efforts to hunt down whoever it is sexing up their house elves?!
OMG Why is Jo making her fans think about wizards sleeping with house elves and giants?
Did you notice that Hagrid is half giant?
To be honest Hagrid being half-giant was a far worst discovery. How is that even physically possible ?
There are also strong hints that Flitwick is half-goblin and that's why he's so small.
Professor Mcgonagall: Divining is a notoriously imprecise art.
Grindlewald: *vapes and predicts the Manhattan Project*
I think that's generally for the majority of wizards, however some people like Sybill Trelawney and somewhat for Harry (he did see a grim) and now supposedly for Grindelwald, Divination must just be part pf their innate abilities. I imagine it's like being born left handed, some people can learn to be ambidextrous, but if you're not born a lefty you will never make the baseball team as a south paw pitcher. It would be a stupid oversight to not have Dumbledore mention to Harry it in any of book 6 if that was the case though, so I assume it was just retcon because JKR wanted it that way.
@@guidetoanything wasn't the Grimm just Sirius?
@@DukeDukeGo yes, he met a black dog, and also discovered the guy who helped his parents get found and killed, which seems pretty specific so that implies Harry has a very minute psychic ability. Whether or not someone is a believer of psychic readings in real life, Harry lives in a world where magic is real, so that implies that psychic readings could also be very real.
@@guidetoanything but a grim means death and no one died in that book/movie
@@msjkramey yeah I think that's the hokey side of it, interpretation. Trelawney obviously did have the talent, I think it's referenced as a reason she was hired. But having visions and knowing what they mean are obviously not inclusive, she even forgets her real visions. Maybe it's giving JKR too much credit, but it seemed to me like Trelawney and to a small extent Harry both had the psychic gift.
"Can you imagine if they just stopped making these movies?"
~Jenny Nicholson (2018)
“Dobby is free!”
@@geoffheaven3772
"10 min ago'
She did it. We're free!
I do like this movie’s implication that when Mcgonagall turned into a cat on the first day of transfiguration it was the magical equivalent of her standing up and doing a flip.
The children wanted funnier acrobatics (better animals). She should have been a dragon and that would be a circus routine. Cat is just an oh huh moment.
“Minerva, do a flip!”
honestly its more like when a kid asks u to watch them do something really cool and then they just do a spin
@@Jack-sy8mr”do a cat-flip!”
I hate that they had to introduce this whole Grindelwald plot when a movie about a gay and/or asexual Wizarding Steve Irwin who just fucks about 1920s New York trying to save animals is a much better premise for a series of movies
FACTS
YAS
I've watched neither. Is there nothing about "magic creatures and where to find them"?
💯
In the first film, a little. In the second film not a scrap of it.
If I was going to do a drive-by movie spoiler, I'd just yell "Grindelwald vapes World War II!" out the window and leave them to chew on that for a bit.
And have them be surprised and disgusted that _what you said is actually true and accurate_
Genius
Hahahahaha
Do a drive by and say: "hey! Credence is a Dumbledore!"
Amazing.
Movie: *has scenes of small children dying and a woman raped*
Also movie: no gay for you
You did it you summarized the history of Hollywood movies
Huh?
It's fascinating. Back in the days movies also can't have a woman leaving her husband, and the filmmakers of Casablanca had to create the ending that both fits the requirements and also gives a satisfactory narrative ending
Lmaaaoo
Umm, what do you mean? There wasn't any place for that to happen?
'only snakes can be women' -jk rowling, known snerf
asaw (all snakes are women)
oh that’s good
Snerfs do not interact!
Nah, she’s a TERF!
Snerfing intensifies
I think what’s even better than the baby dying in the actual shipwreck is the fact that the baby did in fact make it into the lifeboat…. But then that lifeboat also sank
So much for being a powerful wizard family. Drowns in a sinking lifeboat. What an embarrassing way to go.
Everyone said I was daft to put a baby in a life boat. But I did it anyway! Just to show ‘em! … it sank into the sea.
comedy gold
Was that lifeboat also the Titanic?
Wizards in this universe vastly overestimating the power of any wizard baby (bc they’re. Hhh. Supremacists) and it leading to stuff like this is the kind of sickly black comedy that the hp universe is better suited for
By far the weirdest reveal in this movie is that the Titanic makes a cameo.
Titanic? You Funny, Lindsay.
Also, Lindsay Ellis would be Amazing at Cinemasins! *DING.*
I thought so t-HOLY CRAP, IT'S YOU!
Boat cameos are my favorites... But then I'm a nerd for large vehicles so my priorities are skewed.
Focusing a major disaster caused by faulty construction, inadequate safety measures, incompetent (and greedy) management is probably symbolism that Warner should have avoided.
Dumbledore: "I can't move against Grindelwald. It has to be you, Newt"
Newt: "Why me? What reason do I have to fight him?"
Dumbledore: "He killed a lizard"
Newt: *_apparates to Paris_*
Hahahahahaha!!!!
better plot that what they went with. I remember in the R.O.D. anime, secret agent "The Paper" only goes after a villain because they have a book she owns. I honestly thought the plot was going to be that yes while grindelwhatever is evil and going to fuck up the wizarding world, newt only cares about helping negini. NOPE!
So magical John Wick?
I would watch the shit out of that.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
+Nicole Ernst
Radagast the Brown, is that you?
“Imagine if they just stop making these movies right in the middle like Divergent?”
I don’t have to imagine💀
Magic can't save people from dying in childbirth; for that, you need the Dark Side of the Force. But that's not a story the Jedi would teach you.
I would love for Anakin Skywalker to just show up and start screaming about the babies
the dark side: reducing child mortality since -5+3i BBy
No wonder the reveals in this movie were so confusing. We needed a Sith Lord to clear them up!
This doesn't even talk about the fact that Minerva McGonagall was teaching on at hogwarts about 15 years before she was born...
I am THRILLED at the prospect of getting an explanation for this.
It was her mom ?
@@ramywiles they straight up deleted her canon approx date of birth from pottermore, like, they KNOW that they messed it up and were like "lets just hide the info we put in whats considered the bible of the expanded universe". like, i dont trust anything in this Fantastic Beasts franchise whatsoever
In the books she tells umbridge how long she's been teaching
its been rectconned @@laurencewilliams2597
Grindelwald is pre-Hitler and Voldemort is post-Hitler. It all converges when J K Rowling reveals that actual Hitler was also a wizard.
I always assumed Grindelwald was part of the same thing as the Nazi's. In the books it said that Dumbledore fought Grindelwald in 1945. There's no-way that an extremist central European Wizard just happened to duel a British wizard in 1945 to end a wizarding war.
Hitler was actually Grindelwald and Voldemort voltroned together.
@@jackdonovan6533 nah he was their gay child.
Hitler went to Durmstrang.
A gay wizard
Coming back to this now when the news is fresh that the Fantastic Beasts franchise might actually be cancelled because of terrible sales, Jenny's comment about "What if they just stop making these movies in the middle of the story?" is hilariously prophetic.
god i hope this happens
It was pretty easy to tell this was going to happen, not gonna lie
Although the bit at the end about Johnny Depp didn't age very well. Must've been recorded at the peak of Heard propaganda
@@topogigio7031 I think the joke is that Johnny Depp's performance was so lifeless that he felt like a corpse. Nothing about Amber Heard.
@@topogigio7031
The tabloid nonsense has given you brain damage.
Something that really bothered me about the Hogwarts scene is that Dumbledore is giving the exact same boggart lesson that Lupin did, right down to the wardrobe it comes out of... like...are you kidding me? I thought Lupin had devised an engaging practical lesson out of happenstance, making use of a boggart that had taken up residence in the wardrobe, but it turns out to just be part of the basic curriculum for competent DADA teachers.
Sidenote, the word curriculum sounds like it could be the spell JK Rowling casts whenever she's too lazy to write something interesting.
thats because its all a call back to harry potter....... its lazy asf. same thing they did in the 3rd film with the monster books attacking wizards and the gemini curse from Bellatrixs Vault. Member berries.
Similar to the Star Wars prequels. Luke and obi wan wore robes because they lived in a fucking desert. In the prequels, those robes become the official jedi uniform. Luke trains with a ball that fires lasers at him while wearing a blast shield because that is just some random shit lying around on the millennium falcon that works as a makeshift test of your instincts. In the prequels, that becomes an official part of the jedi curriculum. So we're supposed to believe that obi wan wore his jedi clothes when he was supposed to be in hiding from the empire who were hunting down and killing all the Jedis, and also kept some school equipment for toddlers with him for like 20 years? Lazy, unoriginal, shitty, pandering writing.
“Periculum” is the red sparks spell he casts in the maze in the Goblet movie :)
@@rootyIn a series infamous for callback lore for stuff that didn't need it, you managed to pick things that weren't examples. Obi-Wan having a training droid makes sense, he knew Anakin's kids would be Force-Sensitive and would likely want to train them one day. Robes are a common style of clothing, sure, but Obi-Wan's Jedi robes still being worn in hiding is likely honouring his past, as well as being perfectly functional and easily concealed in his cloak. The Solo film has explanations for the Falcon, Han & Chewie's friendship, the Kessel Run, the ornamental dice, the navigational computer on the Falcon, even Han Solo's SURNAME and all of it was unnecessary but done to say "hey, look at all the stuff that references Star Wars!"
@@cameronhector9074 I don't think you have any idea what "in hiding" means. Do you think Jewish people in Nazi Germany were going around wearing kippahs to HoNoUr ThEiR pAsT? Did they wear religious iconography when they were hiding from religious persecution? And if you believe that's a jedi robe, how do you explain the fact that EVERYONE on tatooine is dressed like a jedi? Was uncle Owen a jedi? Do you know what Occam's razor is? Try to use your brain.
I'll be honest- if the movies were just about Newt caring for his animals and being a wizard Doctor Dolittle, I would love them.
I'm pretty sure many millions of people agree with you.
From a review of "Grindelwald" by author Dana Schwartz:
"People didn't fall in love with Harry Potter for the action sequences... Every battle cannot be the most important battle, and every wizard cannot be the most important wizard. The Harry Potter magic wasn't in its action sequences or the biggest, scariest villain -- It was in the feeling of fundamental belonging we got with Harry and his friends at Hogwarts. They [by which I think she means the moguls at Warner Bros., though it might apply to JKR as well] are so insecure with their own universe that they think they need a giant international adventure saga with new twists, when all they need is a group of friends eating chocolate frogs in a common room by a fireplace."
Thay would be amazing
@@XescoPicas OMG me too! Would love to see Newt going on world wide adventures to meet creatures!
strongly seconded
fantastic beasts flopped cause they didnt let newt take his griffin to arizona and meet the wizard cowboys
Was that a real conversation? Because I would've paid money to see that!
Now see, "wizard cowboys" is how I've spent the past 20 years picturing the American Wizard community as being.
Thus, I was highly disappointed when Fantastic Beasts just made them thinly-veiled racists instead.
like kingsmen 2 haha
@@Savyon0 I'm right there with you. Also America is too big for one wizard community
you’re right and you should say it
“What are the crimes of Grindelwald? They never told me!”
Being Trans
@@nehmann674 He WAS a different person in the first movie...
@@mastermarkus5307 And ANOTHER in the upcoming one
That may be the point, because the next one was called The secrets of Dumbledore and well... They kinda never told us much about them either.
Tax fraud.
Jenny's suggestion that Rowling just makes everything up as she goes and retcons random things on a whim basically sums up all my problems with the original HP series
But also just makes the realization thaat J.K. Rowling would need to internalize if she wanted to just make more of what people liked that she had, and could conceivably still continue to construct. So, by both her and us missing the most important possible comprehension they try to do. We needed to realize why we feel the lack of what had authentically made, in creative expression, in art. She needs to allow for what we can let her see about how she's firing on full -auto in the blind deep darkness, with her eyes closed as well for good measure, but doing it, trying to recreate the goodness she could and had make and had made. If we instead work harder to allow ourselves to really , REALLY communicate and comprehend each others perceptions and perspectives as if they were just as important feeling as their own ego, self-important starting point. We need to work to stop putting other BIG SYTRUCTURAL problems with human storytelling, is how we HAVE to get further.
What the hell did I just read?
@@TheShredworthy k
@@TheShredworthy Those are definitely some words
@@TheShredworthy Brendan you need to get that heroin problem checked out
Fantastic beasts should have done what it said on the tin. A movie about a kooky dude who just wants to travel and help out animals.
That's because they didn't have any real idea what to call a movie about Dumbledore and Grendewald. I suppose A History of Magic wouldn't work because....why isn't it called A History of Magic?
Hippie Whovian THANK YOU. I don’t need grit and drama, I need magical Steve Irwin petting a dragon.
They could have had some great messages about animal conservation too! I mean, the first movie was about social issues with the backdrop of a war, so why not have the prequels be about environmental issues with the backdrop of a war? I mean, its really topical right now and could make a statement, but instead its a shitshow
Exactly my thought!!!!!!
Can you imagine Fantastic Beasts, but like, a Tiger King version? 😂
I'm just excited for the day that JK shows off the original napkin and it has only 3 things on it.
1. Snake is Asian circus woman
2. Dumbledore is gay and has an intense sexual relationship with johnny depp
3. Anthony Goldstein - Jew wizard boy
Anthony Goldstein is my favourite moment of Rowling pretending to be woke.
“Sure, I have a jewish character. His name is Goldstein.”
The sheer can’t-be-bothered-to-try-ness of it all is amazing.
This comment is so underappreciated
I can't stop laughing! Hilarious comment
So Funny because Anthony Goldstein is actually in Book 5. He's just mentioned twice ( I think ) and never talked about.
@d I dont recall him ever being mentioned in a book or movie. I only know him from the tweet where jk felt it was extremely important to to everyone that there was a Jewish kid at Hogwarts all along
i know this is super late but i just realised from the first film...wouldn't the obliviate rain have absolutely decimated New York's wizard population? Like, only the main characters and the wizard FBI were aware of what was happening in time to make their little magic umbrella things, but surely the thousands of non-FBI wizards roaming the streets at that time just had their entire lives deleted. Maybe the reason they don't go back to New York in the second film is because they're still coping with Newt's humanitarian crisis.
Not to mention all the Muggles that were walking around. How MUCH did they forget? Was it like when Lockhart Obliviated himself and forgot who he was? How did this society survive THAT MANY PEOPLE just forgetting their entire lives all at once?
They handwaved it as "only erasing recent bad memories"
But yes it's a broken ability and people just ignore how plot-derailing it would be to just rewrite a character in universe
There is also an alarming lack of fantastic beasts in this movie. That's all I'm here for. The Harry Potter series gives a small glimpse into wizarding world flora and fauna, but I always felt like there's so much more to see.
I don't want to see Grindelwald try and stop the holocaust, I don't want to know about Karma/Comma or Nagini the Human Woman.
I just want to watch Newt, whomst I love dearly, interact with cool new animals in this universe.
I'd honestly be more hyped about 100 minutes of Newt giving a room tour of his suitcase, than I'm hyped about a 3rd fantastic beasts movie. I'd be more hyped about a narrator voice reading wiki entries about new beasts, for that matter.
Oh, wait, hold up, listen: Wizarding World Nature Documentary
You could make it a series of shorts, and frame it as if it's a living portrait. Each one is a big painting portraying a scene from nature, and there could even be a portrait wizard explaining things.
And then also, I please please want that Newt-case room tour.
I was never into Harry Potter; the lack of magical creatures being a focus at a time in my childhood when I was ALL ABOUT magical creatures made me pretty much lose interest in the movies after the third one. (And hell, I didn't even get that far when it came to the books because the writing in the first one is just... so weird.)
@@mastermarkus5307 the fact that this franchise is called “fantastic beasts” and the only movie that delivered on that title was the first one. False advertising
Your mistake was assuming she had actually thought about a wizarding world outside of the small glimpse you got. Outside of whimsy she has an extreme lack of creativity and probably doesn't have the ability to write what you are looking for.
Say what you will about the first movie, but it was exactly what it said on the tin: there are fantastic beasts, and our heroes go find them.
@@lovableasshole honestly it seems like JK rowling is incapable of thinking anything through beyond its first immediate consequence
I hate that they made Queenie lose about 100 IQ points between the first and second movies.
YOU'RE CRAZYYYY
Thank you! No one makes a big deal out the fact that she tried to brainwash a guy into marriage and then sides with the villain even though his primary goal is DIRECTLY counter productive to what she wants.
Maybe Rayy I took them
@@tatehildyard5332 YES! This was the main thing that pissed me off about this movie. It makes absolutely no sense for her to side with Grindelwald. And the brainwashing thing is pretty messed up. Queenie from the first movie wouldn't do that. They changed her character completely.
Not "they". It was J. K. Rowling
She should have done an unbreakable vow not to write any more HP stories. She broke her own promise for M.O.N.E.Y.
Ringleader: This man may LOOK normal....but he has a blood curse. He can hula hoop. But ONE DAY he will not be able to STOP HULA HOOPING
Man: sadly hula hoops while love interest looks on in anger
this comment is the funniest shit on the internet and i want it to be a vine/tiktok
This comment is etched into my hysterical brain.
hi this comment is ten months old but i still laugh thinking about it how does it feel to be hilarious
@@tesstesstess111 old but gold
I'm back again because all yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about this comment.
The Jacob thing really annoys me because the first movie ended with Queenie walking into Jacob's store and them smiling at each other. They could have just restarted their relationship off-screen! There didn't need to be a retcon!
14:28: The fact that you were able to repeat The Backstory back to us after only a single viewing is mighty impressive.
British and American word differences:
Zip Code = Post Code
Fall= Autumn
Restroom = Cottage
Donuts = Roundellos
Mailman = Postlord
Pretzel = Salty Harrumph
Pants = Leg Sleeves
Hot Dogs = Rupert's Fingers
Sidewalk = Footroad
Tic-Tac-Toe = The Battle of Gridlington
Eggplant = Bunglespleen
Cotton Candy = Her Majesty's Sugar Barnet
I like how it gets gradually more dubious
There is no way leg sleeve is real
@@jiq9178 that's because its a joke that shouldn't have to be told its a joke
British people call it a school, American’s call it a shooting range
@Qing Ji not sure if you got wooshed or are currently trying to woosh me... Sarcasm is hard.
Petition to change all instances of the word “wizard” to “yes-majique”
" yer a yes-majique Harry "
Since we're speaking French, I would be equally satisfied with "Oui, majique!"
Another petition to change all instances of the word no-mag to yesn't-mag
@@gabrielleporter553 *_I'm a what_*
This made me laugh so hard thank you
As much as I want her to do Fantastic Beasts 3, I feel like her silence on this movie is the reaction it deserves.
I feel like in a wizard circus, an animagus could be the wizard equivalent of a trapeze artist. Like they’d turn into a lion or tiger or whatever and do cool things and jump thru hoops or something and it’d be cool cuz it’s somewhat of a feat to be an animagus (especially one with an animal form cool enough to put in a circus) and also they’re performing these cool feats of athleticism. It wouldn’t be like... a freak show thing.
JK in interview: Dumbledore was gay and had a relationskip with Grindelwald
JK about Fantiastic Beasts 2: Dumbledore and Grindelwald will not be portraied as gay
JK on Twitter: Dumbledore and Grindelwald had an intense sexual relationship
@bertasu the fact that showing gay relationship (not even sexually) will lead to a higher pg rating is so wrong.
And I heard pg rating can be lowered, Rebel Wilson just did it for her last mivue JK could have tried.... Anyway, there are so many wrong things in the HP universe now it's hard to care anymore
Considering two babies died in this movie but gay portrayal is too much for ratings is just crazy if you think about it...
that's why A Very Potter Musical is better than literally everything that happens in the Harry Potter canon
Dumbledore and Grindelwald are the definition of an online relationship
I mean, just be thankful that she didn’t write wizards shitting in the streets and magic it away in the script XD
‘newts brother- clancy? i feel like his name was clancy’
newts brother: *is named theseus*
Well now its Clancy.
Isn't that the name of the dictionary she used to flip trough stopping at random pages to single out a word to flip into the bowl of words she drew from to make up the script for the movie?
If people write fanfics shipping him with various characters, adding and subtracting parts of his personality to make each fanfic work until, by the end, he's nothing like what he originally was, is that still truly a ship of Theseus?
@@midwinterhandgrave324 There is no Essence of Clancy
Veritable Galanthus Nope, I’ve had this thought to. Change the characters setting, relationships what ever. However, once you change the core of the character it’s not that character anymore. At that point why not just keep the world building and use your own original characters.
Wait didn't Voldemort drink Nagini's milk while in his half-alive baby form in book 4? Knowing she used to be a human woman makes that so much more disturbing......
o h g o d s
@Fairfax That's still a weird thing to do to a former human. Also, wasn't Nagini a constrictor snake? They don't have venom...
Snakes don't have milk tho
@@potmki6601 take that up with JKR, buddy, not me
@@potmki6601 snakes don't, but nagini is half human 👁️👄👁️
"He put her under a spell, married her, and non-consensually had a baby with her..So _that's_ what was missing from the magical world of Harry Potter" to be fair, it wasnt missing, its literally a rehash of Voldemorts origin story.
@Bionick Toa wait so the story of voldemort is that he is a ra*e baby and because of that he cant love (i get there is magic involved but in my opinion that isnt better)
Only this time the victim was a different race so jkr should get back pats for diversifying
Rape. The word is rape. He raped her.
@@thomaslavitola7789 Voldemort not being able to love has nothing to do with him being a rape baby. That was just fan speculation nonsense. He can’t love because he’s a psychopath brought up in a non-loving environment and that’s it.
Also what Queenie was doing to Jacob in this movie
I think they meant grindelwald to be cool and attractive. Funny thing is, Johnny Depp isn’t. You know who is?
Colin Farrell.
PREACH
They wanted him to be like a Michael Fassbender as Magneto but like, Michael Fassbender can pull of the sexy villain. Johnny Depp cannot. You know who also can? Colin Farrell.
+
Amen! I still remember the feeling of disappointment I felt when I saw Johnny Depp at the end of the first movie. I was like "Farrel was perfect. Why did you have to change?!"
Someone needs to make a deepfake version of the film that replaces Johnny Depp with Colin Farrell.
J. K. Rowling is the equivalent of my middle school self plucking my eyebrows for the first time, where it started out great and just got worse as I kept trying to fix it and make them better and more even. They didn't need to be fixed in the first place but I certainly ended up ruining my image and looking like an idiot.
what a complex metaphor, i salute u comrade
Majestic metaphor.
marisdc what a mood
That's an allegory, not a metaphor.
@@_yellow Yes, allegory. My mistake,
3:53 I'm calling it now: the absolute final plot twist about Credence's identity as that he's going to be Penelope Clearwater's grandfather, so he will literally be Credence Clearwater.
And then he dies again and gets resurrected again of course
@@armelior4610 quite literally the Credence Clearwater Revival 😂
@@arareanddifferenttune3130ahhh thank you. I didn't get the joke in the video since I didn't know it was a band
For me the dumbest thing in the movie was that it had no spell limitation. This world needs some rules. At one point the guy creates a force shield around himself so angry smoke cloud Credence cannot harm him - seems like a very powerful defensive spell, why don't people use it all the time. Grindelwald at the end creates that flying fire dragon with casual flicks of his wand... why doesn't he just spawn that spell all the time, seems like a powerfull spell with no effort that is hard to counter as it requies multiple wizards do dispell it... what a sh*t show.
Yeah, the HP magic system has needed far stricter rules from day 1 and it just gets worse and worse the longer it goes on.
I've come to realise that Harry Potter's magic system manages to be simultaneously incredibly soft, so much that there are very little to no rules, AND incredibly lame. At least in other absurdly soft magic systems, the spells are bombastic, scenery-destroying lightshows. In HP it's just... a spell that kills you instantly with no dramatic choreography, no 150 feet tall fireballs, nothing. So lame.
@@Kidomaru222 There are multiple instances of large scales fire spells in Harry Potter
That’s generally a Harry Potter problem. You never know the framework. In a wizard battle, there is little tension cos you can’t really tell who has more power (left). Only a little by their expressions, but that’s boring. You can only wait until it’s over and register the outcome.
Or how he just magics his animals back in his storage. Completely unmaking the first movie.
Drive by spoiler:
*GRINDELWALD VAPES HIROSHIMA*
hahaha lmao
The thing is that there are actually different terms for muggles around the world. (In French, it's moldu for example). It would have been a great opportunity to show the work of the numerous translators all around the world. Paying respect to those who helped making the franchise worldwide, instead of making unimaginative made up words.
Man I wonder what the French were thinking when they were like "Nomagick? But our word is Moldu!!!"
"non-magique" for "moldu", yep, that's once again a show of disrespect towards another group of people (here, translators)
@@matthiashavrez I 100% believe that J.K. Rowling is only in it for the money and as such doesn't care about anyone or anything else
in russian its just Магл - mugle with one L. But we call aurors Mrakoborec - those who fight the dark. thats funnier to pronounce
Yesss! It does not even make sense to have so many different words for it in English. In Brazilian Portuguese, they are called trouxas.
This is what I wish the Fantastic Beast movie was about.
It opens with young Hagrid, freshly expelled and settling into life as the groundskeeper at Hogwarts. Without classes or friends, he has more free time to explore his interests in magical creatures. In doing so he opens a book called fantastic beasts and where to find them.
It then goes back in time where Newt is narrating over the prologue to his book, interspersed with footage of him tending to his various creatures while a quill auto writes in the background.
He then launches into listing various creatures and we hear about how he was informed of their location, him walking through different lands, sticking out like a sore thumb but oblivious and how he gains the animal's trust in order to catch them.
All of this has no voice lines from young newt or anyone else, it's all voice over narration. It could have sections like "methods of capture" "creating a suitable habitat" "dietary needs" "precautions" "dos and donts" etc. Interspersed with Hagrid dealing with various creatures throughout the series.
It then ends with an epilogue about respect and understanding of all creatures being important and encourages the reader to do so whenever possible. The shot closes on Hagrid preparing for his first day of teaching in the third movie, attaching ferrets to his person before shutting the door behind him and it zooms in on the book cover, worn with age.
sounds amazing ! you’re a great writer
@@melodyhaviland9393 oh thank you!
I get the sentiment, and I love the framing device, but I think we both know that this would be an exceedingly boring movie almost no-one would watch.
@drsnova7313 you could have just read my comment and went on with your day, but instead you chose to reply negatively.
Not nearly enough cgi explosions! How do you expect to go far in Hollywood with work like this?!
I like how Dumbledore is like "it has to be you Newt. You're the only one who can defeat Grindelwald", and Newt's like "bitch I write textbooks"
Queenie could have moved to London to marry the guy but instead she becomes a Nazi. I guess moving is pretty stressful
Considering what Queenie is like as a character, it honestly wouldn't surprise me if the real reason she became a Nazi is because moving is hard. She seems like somebody who would buy into the "come to the dark side, we have cookies" ploy.
I thought it was suggested he was "persuasive." To the point where they cut out his tongue so he couldn't keep compromising his guards. It's why he takes the one guy's tongue and replaces it with a snake's for him. I don't think Queenie is acting under her own influence alone.
@@Rainsofchange Also, I think he can be using oclumancy to hide his thoughts and show her what he wants.
@@vilwarin5635 Exactly. I think showing how Jacob feels and acts under the influence of magic was meant to tie in with what happens to Queenie. Grindy talks about downplaying the violent aspect of his movement and talking up the righteous points to recruit people. Love, freedom, happiness, etc. There's a reason they chose one of the sweetest, kindest characters to have side with him. I think it brings a bit of humanity to Grindy's followers. You know how we ask ourselves how anyone, let alone a country of people could ever support Hitler? It turns out that Hitler campaigned on a lot of things ordinary people wanted. To feed their families, for security, for prosperity. Not *everyone* that might have agreed with parts of his campaign were inherently awful people. She illustrates the same point with Voldy and Grindy. There are extremists that are as awful as him, but then there are others more in it for themselves or for "righteous" reasons like wizarding freedom. These horrendous leaders were persuasive and played on people's fear, antagonizing and demonizing.
@@Rainsofchange I can´t agree more with you.
I was so expecting the circus to be more Newt-centric. That was the perfect opportunity to have him rescue some mistreated animals or illustrate one of the shady parts of wizard society. But it was just another throwaway scene to a movie full of them.
EXCELLENT point!!! The move should have been more about the circus!!!
I was so stoked on the concept of a magical circus in Paris and then....it was over in like 2 minutes
That would have been amazing. Newt would totally rescue circus animals
“What if they just stop making these movies in the middle of the story?”
I actually have some funny news
Right? This aged WONDERFULLY. When I first was listening I thought she was making a joke... Until I realized this was posted 4 years ago
@@jeanie7555 DID THEY STOP????
Hey, remember to that time JK said that Dumbledore didn't have a romance because no one wants to see an elderly person kiss. Then she made a movie with young Dumbledore and then didn't have him in a romance. And he's her only alleged lgbtq character. alleged because it's not really in the cannon at all? And maybe that's by design?
Bro, the romance between the two was before the movie happened and they are literally enemies right now.
Like, are they supposed to randomly kiss in between a fight or something??
@@plzleavemealone9660 Uh huh.... remember all those flashbacks to before those movies during both the first and second films? Seems weird that a film series clearly leading up to the duel between two alleged former lovers does literally nothing to explore how difficult that is for the both of them. It's almost like JK loves to claim representation but hates to actually do it. Because that behavior has made her millions of dollars.
@@Thehouseoffail He literally calls Grindelwald "closer than a brother" like how much more sloppily can you dance around the fact that he was his boyfriend skjhksjhsk
@@Thehouseoffail Definitely. Lovers-to-enemies is actually an interesting dynamic that you don't see a whole lot, so it's not like she would be bereft of drama to write a narrative around.
@@mastermarkus5307 well, there's going to me a third film soon. So, we are going to get a chance to see if she wants to put her money where her mouth us.
the porg sensual pose distracts me from the video
It was the three Korean women I found distracting.
Giant Porg is channeling the spirit of Burt Reynolds
Porghub.com
I have a "draw me like one of your french girl Jack" vibe from this Porg... 😉
Oh God. I can't unsee it.
This just in: Dobby is a descendant of wizard Karl Marx, and he is and always was a symbol of the struggle faced by the proletariat under the crushing power of the bourgeoisie. Socks represent the inevitable class war.
He's also gay and black
Sounds pretty transphobic tbh.
Well, considering Marx literally did have an unpaid, captive "servant" girl he very probably knocked up...
@@Endoptic it was his maid, she wasn't unpaid or a captive but I do take your point.
Lol!!!
“Joanne people are really starting to suspect you’re sympathetic to nazis”
Joanne: that’s insane. Anyway check this shit out
“Sailing to america” YALL CAN TELEPORT
Driving by the premiere to shout spoilers is also what Snape would do
Throwing memories of Dumbledore’s child armies and Nazi sympathies and personal abuses of him and other vulnerable young boys onto the crowd.
Take them. Behold your god: an asshole
Lemme be real: Joanne I HOPE and most people do not understand what the Holocaust was like. If she has even a glimmer of understanding of what the Holocaust is and she wrote this she’s on the no redemption list Joanne is on the no fly list for being a sane person
@@Lucifersfursonayoure so real 4 this
@@Lucifersfursona 6 months later and jo has straight up started doing soft holocaust denial
I recently saw Fantastic Beasts 2 and 3, so can now watch your video.
Of all the crimes of Grindelwald, it was the crime of desperately trying to fit fantastic beasts into the Fantastic Beasts movies.
Basically, this is the story of leaving school to get a job as a vet and then one day your old chemistry teacher rings you up because his serial killer ex-lover has escaped from jail.
As someone currently suffering through my last year of vet school, I can't decide if I'd prefer to help my high school chem teacher catch a serial killer or not. I'd probably get more sleep hunting a serial killer than I do on clinics
Reverse Breaking Bad
I lol'd at the "no magique"... I can't imagine a wizard in Paris saying "hi, i'm a yes magique"
even funnier when you know that in the french translation of harry potter the word for muggle is moldu which is also a fun word! they couldnt do their homework on that i guess
@@augustusgloopswag I liked the movie actually but in german he says they "kann nicht zaubern" this literally makes absolutely no sense in german
@@chrisigoeb yeah no magique makes no sense in french either
“Allo, j’suis un oui-magique”
*oui magique
These movies should've been planet-earth style documentaries, with Newt as the host
I live for this alternate version
Exactly! We've spent so little time outside of Hogwarts, there is an unlimited number of creatures they could create, without breaking canon. We know how the magic and spells work, they have to work within those limitations set by the original series. We weren't shown all the land where these creatures could come from. They could put anything there!
yes!! and it could've been like,, a tv series maybe? like 30 minute installments about the animals newt talks about in the og book, just more fledged out
@@mothma_am definitely. a full movie realistically wouldn’t be very nice to watch. the episodic or short form format is perfect
god i dont even like harry potter or ANY of these actors anymore so i have not seen either Fantastic Beasts yet. but i would rush to watch that version. like if they had actually adapted the book Fantastic Beasts by Newt Scamander by having it ACTUALLY BE ABOUT fantastic beasts, where to find them, and a guy named Newt telling us about fantastic beasts and where to find them. i haven't seen either of these movies but i can only assume they spend very little time talking about that and much more more being in New York and Paris fighting wizard Nazis
I just realized something, the whole "Grindelwald and Dumbledore can't fight each other bc magic necklace" is a plot hole according to lore. The whole reason Dumbledore's sister died is because him, Aberforth and Grindelwald got into a huge three-way wand duel. I normally don't give a fuck about plot holes, but this is a key piece of Dumbledore's backstory??? Also it's very dumb, like, if you're gonna contradict your characters established backstory at least do it in the name of something interesting.
Also, Dumbledore didnt want to fight him and then see which wand was the reason for the spell that killed his sister. The magic necklace is just a plot device to shoehorn Newt into the story and postpone the duel until the 5th film.
I think maybe it isn't a "they cannot fight each other" deal but more of a "the spells will deflect and be unable to hit/harm one another"
So maybe when Grindewald and Aberforth were fighting, Grindewald tried to hurt/kill Aberforth and Dumbledore stepped in, but the spell deflected so they both started trying to harm each other, then maybe a spell deflected and hit his sister but Albus doesn't know whether it was his spell or Grindewalds?
I don't mean to defend the writing btw, the writing for both movies sadly sucked, but I think if the blood pact worked this way it would be quite interesting
So... Plot holes only matter when they're the back stories of important people?
@@goosegas2087 not really? They matter when they contradict key aspects of any characters backstory
@@marinabarcellos9859 So even though a plot serves to develop characters all of a sudden, it doesn't matter?
sometimes i rewatch this film just to hear the ine "you're a dirty liar, jo!" because it always makes me laugh
I am so obsessed with your use of the word "film". Obsessed, because I too sit down with a snack to rewatch these videos weekly, start to finish, like one might do with a feature film
i rewatch it to hear "dumbledore's secret extra brother" and
"-little boy wizard who lives in a cupboard
-the snake is a korean lady"
I rewatch it for "~Creedence goes to the circus!~"
my personal favorite is "that's why snakes are so lousy with directions"
i rewatch this for the "monkey-paw" monologue
In the UK we have 'lifts' in the US you have 'tiny rooms that move vertically between the floors of a building.' Right?
Mov-rooms for short
In Cornwall we have "stairs".
@@jamstonjulian6947 That's not true. Cornwall hasn't discovered buildings with more than one floor. Or light switches
Hey come on, don’t sell us Americans short. In the USA we actually call ‘em “up-n-down closets”
Granted, they are called "Elevators"... Not that far off from Muggle vs. No-Maj.
So not only has J.K pulled a complete George Lucas with her prequels, she also pulled a Sherlock season 4 surprise secret sibling plot twist. Bravo.
Oh god no! Every time I'm reminded that 'Secret Evil Mind Control Sister and The Dog who got put down but was really a Boy who Drowned!!!' actually happened it's like being non-consensually fisted in the soul.
Why did you mention that!!!!!
@@JC-ev2ns Are there any more Beasts movies due to be made/come out?
harrysecombegroupie
Heh, I actually liked the “Redbeard was Sherlock’s childhood friend and not a dog” reveal, because it seemed like a plausible thing a young, bullied, completely traumatized boy would want to erase from his memory in order to save his sanity - like a milder version of D.I.D., I suppose.
But the reveal of a third Holmes sibling being an even moaaar special person and most genius genius that ever geniused was quite silly, especially when you combine it with the fact, that Euros was then further revealed to have been the young, scared girl on the plane, that only really needed love, acceptance and some violin family playing all along...that...that was slightly painful to behold...way to try to redeem a horrific person by...not really redeeming them at all.
@@deffdefying4803 yes, it is supposed to be aa 5-movie series
Fun fact for anyone watching this nowadays: the Crimes of Grindelwald poster actually has more characters on it than the Avengers: Endgame poster. I bet a not-insignificant number of people who went to see Avengers: Endgame could name every character on that poster. I would have a hard time naming half of the characters on the Grindelwald poster
7:48 This has been bothering me for literally years now. JKR established in Goblet of Fire that memory charms *can* be broken by even stronger magic. Voldemort (or Peter) breaks the memory charm on Bertha Jorkins and that's how they learn Barty Crouch Jr. is still alive. It would have made absolutely perfect sense to be like "oh yeah, Queenie wanted her man back so she dabbled in some dark magic to retrieve his actual memories, and as a side effect he's just really suggestible for a few days or weeks after." And maybe she didn't want to do that because it's implied (or maybe even stated, I don't remember) that it takes the Imperius Curse to break memory charms and it would have been too heavy to have Queenie using Unforgivables this early in her apparently downward spiral to evil, but it would have been way less stupid to handwave that as "well, that's just memory charms cast by wizards, the eagle thing's magic is different so it only took some sort-of dark magic to break it" which would still have foreshadowed Queenie being swayed to the dark side. But no, two dumb explanations for why one thing is happening is better than one minor retcon of established lore, sure Jo.
This literally sounds like you are recapping a crazy dream you had the night before 🤣😂
underrated
That's how all her videos are and I love them.
"And then Grindlewald turned to Newt and said 'You're a bad car' ".
@@stoicsophist2274 oh no... you gave me flashbacks. That tangent legit terrified me lol. I'm so so serious
So Nagini is an Indonesian woman with an Indian name played by a Korean actress and written by a British woman.
Alkaline1303 Truly, the most diverse character in the movie.
After the last Korean woman in the franchise had two family names and no given, I can't tell if this is a step forward or backward.
@@AzraelNewtype0079 it's neither she's not important. The most useful thing she does in her life is later become a horcrux. If you're going to whine about character diversity can you at least do it about a significant character.
@@someguy1290 This has to be one of the best comments I've ever read.
Sums it up well.
will never forget when my bf told me that the japanese magic school in the hp verse is called "mahou tokoro" and i laughed for like two straight minutes because that effectively just means Magic Place
This one actually makes perfect sense. Not because I'm a JK suck up but because Japanese place names tend to be quite literal. Todai-ji means literally Big Eastern Temple, guess what it is, it's a big temple in the east. Ōsaka? Big Hill - because it's a big hill. Nijō castle means Two Castle - because it has two forts. It would make sense in this case for the Japanese school.
Also in this case, tokoro is less likely to mean "place" and more likely "institution". 処 meaning 'place' is common in modern Japanese, but the form meaning institution is more archaic which absolutely would fit the idea the school is very very old. What would've been more lazy would've been to say 魔法の場所, which would be the modern, non-archaic way to say it.
@@emstink you dont understand. every other school is named this way. they are ALL called Magic Place.
My hot take on the Wizard WW2 thing is that wizards actually kind of suck at actual combat. Like Avada Kedavara, the only lethal spell is both forbidden and seemingly fires slower than a regular old gun. Wizards would make better spies than soldiers.
Right! If there was any actual explaining of how magic works in this world it easily could have gone like this: magic is a force of life itself. Magic creates. Using magic to kill and destroy is almost impossible. We get a little of this in that you need to be very evil to actually cast the killing curse but the reason for that isn't really gone into. I like your take - it even helps explain why wizards are so secretive and stand-offish: they actually can't really defend themselves. And this is KIND OF implied in the books but it's just vague enough that Jo can do whatever the story needs without having to write around her own rules. An absolute waste.
Avada isn't the only lethal spell though, just the one whose only purpose is to kill instantly. Use a cutting or severing charm on someone's jugular, carotid, or femoral arteries and they're gonna bleed out real quick. Bombarda to the face is instant death. In the books it mentions all sorts of dark curses like entrail expelling ones if you want to talk about lethal dark magic spells. If you're creative enough and in some cases with only a quick stupefy first to make sure the other person can't fight back due to being stunned or unconscious, you could even use 1st year level spells like wingardium leviosa to take someone out. I imagine wizard battle is a mess of wildly different spells with all kinds of purposes being used per the casters skills and efficiency. Anyway that was really long lol
"look, all the fans know grindelwald and dumbledore were smashing butts, so how about we bring back some of the actual moral and emotional conflict that the original harry potter was loved for and make this a deeper, more mature movie plus take an actual step towards better representation of gay people in media?"
"nah thats dumb, how abt like, a magic bromance necklace?"
That was never a thing. Dumbledore was said to be gay and infatuated with Grindelwald. We don’t know Grindelwald shared any feelings. I’m fairly certain it’s more like he used Dumbledore’s infatuation to his advantage to control him.
@@vaughn_erich good thing then that I never said it was canon, only that it COULD'VE BEEN made so, since most fans already assume that's what happened. And doesn't erase the fact they still went full no homo
@@vaughn_erich Having Dumbledore be infatuated with Grindelwald and not wanting to fight is a better plot element than a magical necklace. The necklace doesn't even feel original because Harry and Voldemort couldn't kill each other for a similar reason.
Matthew Walkup while it does seem like a plot convenience, jkr does that a lot in the hp books. Also, I would hope Dumbledore wouldn’t be letting people die cuz he’s moping about unrequited infatuation.
@@vaughn_erich True. It might more sense for him not to fight if Grindelwald loved him back, but there really isn't a great way to justify his actions. At least not one that I see, but I'm not an accomplished writer who has made a billion dollars through their works, so maybe I'm missing something.
Let’s be real, the no homo necklace is just there because she didn’t want to explore their relationship and didn’t want to do something as extreme as the unbreakable vow
It seems like another version of the same thing.
@@princessthyemis It is, but the difference is that if you break an unbreakable vow, you die. The no homo necklace gives Dumbledore a similar excuse not to confront Grindelwald in this movie, but when he inevitably decides to step up there won't be that threat of death. This is pure laziness on Rowling's part and I think she knows it.
I would have vastly preferred to see either a higher stakes conflict where they try to figure out how to break an unbreakable vow, or hints of an emotionally charged conflict where Dumbledore comes to terms with his history with Grindelwald and the fact that he doesn't want to find out if he killed Ariana.
Bipsty McBipste if she’s going to say that, she better include a flashback sex scene in the next movie.
Instead she is gonna reveal Voldemort was Transgender all along
Not to mention it makes absolutely no sense in the existing narrative, because Grindelwald and Dumbledore DID duel (together with Aberforth) during the fight that killed Ariana. It's hardly likely they made the no homo necklace after that event.
"Can you imagine if they just stopped making these movies before they hit the end?"
Oracle moment
"Master has given Dobby a sock. Dobby is free"
Little did we know that the sock would be transphobia...
I needed to go to most recent comments, because somehow no-one in top comments had said this. I knew it had to be somewhere.
@Someone 333 Not this. Rowling has later supported some TERFs and obsessed over trans people. Contrapoints has a good video on the topic if you happen to have time.
@Someone 333 As @quantum ねこmancy said, this is a joking reference to the more recent controversial statements of Rowling. I'm not aware of any transphobia in any of the Potterverse stuff
@@aarondeemer5610 A magic hat looks into your brain, tells you what you are, and then separates you into groups that define your friends and all opportunities for the rest of your life, and you don't really get a choice in any of it.
@@raveneye73 but then again, Harry picks his gender, I mean, house.
i love how you're referring to zoe kravitz's character as zoe kravitz
Zoe wasn't playing a character she just bumbled onto the set by accident one day and is reacting to all the bullshit in the movie as herself
Because the names of the characters in this film are as forgettable as the characters themselves.
I feel like when he listed the diffferent terms for 'muggle', Grundelwald should have stumbled while trying to pronounce some comedically long German composite noun. Just imagine:
"The Muggles. The No-Majs. The Nichtzaure-, Nichtbauze-, Nichtzaubereiberäf-, ... ähem... Nichtzaubereibefähigten"
Maxi Reigl Funny, but unlikely given the fact he could be from germany. The name would fit and he was in Nurmengard which is anywhere in northern europe.
literally dieded
@Hannah Dyson Excuse me, random word? I use Nichtzaubereibefähigter at least twice a day in my normal vocabulary 😂
This is good 😂
@Hannah Dyson Hmmm never thought about that. You're probably right. If we talk strictly about, Nichtzaubereibefähigte, english conversations. It would be pretty difficult to Nichtzaubereibefähigte use that word in a sentence that still makes Nichtzaubereibefähigte sense. ;)
Rowling needs to practice what she preaches. I understand that studio execs may have a say, but if you are going to declare Dumbledore and Grindelwald to have an intense sexual relationship, don't hide their motivations behind some no-homo MacGuffin.
True, that magical necklace was definitely a macguffin.
Ironic that JK can only write Nazis as villains considering she’s edging closer and closer to holocaust denial with each minute she spends on twitter
I guess it explains *why* she wrote them so well- Her self insert truly was Umbridge all along.
“It turns out Buckbeak was a Filipino man named Buckbeak the whole time” 👌🏻😂
Oh my god yes.
finally some representation
LMFAO
representation lolol
GOOD 1.
Luke Skywalker: You killed my father!
Darth Vader: No, you were switched with my actual son while on a spaceship that crashed, and he died, but you are actually Obi Wan's secret son!
Luke:
Vader:
Luke: *What?*
This changes things.
So...Darth Vader really killed Luke's father.
Eragon did this too now that i think about it
@@Solanuma jdkdkd wait what? The most vivid memory I have of Eragon is when they went down a well that erased memories but showed the readers what was in the well anyway, can you refresh my memory?
@@homestuck_official i don't know what you mean but I'm thinking about how Eragon got compared to Star Wars.
Like eragon is Luke, Brom the storyteller is Obi Wan and Morzan Darth Vader. At one point Eragon, in a dramatic twist finds out that he is Morzans son and is very devastated about it just to find out later that no his mother had an affair with Brom, our Obi Wan/mentor figure in that story and that he is his actual father.
Needless to say that the story was a mess too
I just can't understand why there's so much back and forth on something as originally inconsequential as Dumbledore's sexuality.
In the original stories, his sexuality was never relevant, and there really wasn't any reason to care.
Then JK Rowling went out of her way to reveal Dumbledore's sexuality - not by making a story where that's relevant, meaningful, or portrayed as normalised - but by posting tweets about it.
Then people raised a few eyebrows because that seemed more like headcanon intended to attract a progressive audience than a meaningful and always intended character trait.
*Then* Rowling doubled down and it out like Dumbledore's sexuality was a really big deal.
*THEN* this movie comes out and *the one perfect opportunity to explore Dumbledore's sexuality naturally is completely ignored.*
*T H E N* Rowling continues to make a huge deal about how intense and sexual Dumbledore and Grindelwald's relationship is.
You got something that didn't matter at all, acted like it did matter, then when you had a chance to make it matter, you didn't take it? Can we just accept at this point that Rowling did a good job on a hero's journey coming-of-age story with a novel setting a while back, she's bad at portraying diversity, she's bad at world building, she's bad at exploring the lore of a universe, and we need to keep and treasure our nostalgia instead of paying somebody to slowly and painfully kill it for us?
She's clearly started to believe her own hype and genuinely doesn't seem to take any criticism anymore. The later books while still good were severely bloated and could have done with significant editing and these movies are just a fucking mess. I think she's too successful and full of herself to accept any criticism from anyone. I also think this is why she's continually doubling down on the terf stuff, she genuinely can't see a world where she might be wrong or deserving of criticism
yeah i'm not mad at the idea of dumbledore being gay, but show don't tell. just have him be gay in something and portray it in a meaningful manner, instead of bulshit virtue signalling
I mean I think the “why didn’t the wizards stop WWII” thing can be explained if there were wizards on both sides of the war and there were secret wizard battles or whatever, and the wizard allied forces helped ‘behind the scenes’. But there’s absolutely no way JK can come out and say that some Nazis were wizards because that’s very weird and insensitive to actual history. Even though she’s happy to come out and be a horrible terf
I think that, in theory, you could have a story with Nazi wizards. The problem is that Rowling is not a good enough writer that she could explore the subject with the delicacy and nuance that it would require. The HP universe is just to fun and giddy to make deal with actual Nazis.
Ironically, the other answer to the WWII question is included in the original series, if only by implication. Which is that Grindlewald was defeated in 1945, and prior to that he was causing chaos and destruction across magical Europe. If the wizards themselves were up to their eyeballs in a magical war, it stands to reason that they wouldn't have had spare attention or effort to help Muggles. Add to that the fact that wizard society has been isolationist for centuries, plus most wizards don't seem to give a shit about Muggles at all, and it makes some sense. It's still immoral, arguably, to not have even tried to help, but much more understandable.
Obviously that's all been thrown out now, with the movies, to be replaced by something much dumber.
That's the explanation in Percy Jackson, there were Demi-Gods on both sides.
The Wizard's being Nazis could work considering Nazis were into the occult, what if they had back-dealings with dark Wizards.
Or (and this is what I thought when reading the books) the Wizards just don't give a shit. I mean, Hagrid put a pig-tail on Dudley (one that had to be surgically removed) a kid he's never met. I don't think the isolationist Wizards would give a shit that the muggles are killing each other.
Like, years from now are we going to get the explanation for where the Wizards were in WWI, in 9\11, what about colonization where were the motherfucking Wizards?
@@KO-vb4tg yeah dude, that would've been the explanation i'd accept the easiest. Could've just hand-waved it away with "the Grindlewald threath was too big and all-encompassing that the wizarding world was completely overwhelmed". Which makes the movie literally titled "Crimes of Grindlewald" even more of a failiure. Like of all the 'crimes' he commits in this or the 3rd one, none REALLY justifies occupying the whole global wizarding community's attention (assuming most countries have a wizarding government) from atom bombs & genocide befalling millions of people without the privilege of their supernatural powers.
Or literally just set it in an alternate universe where they did prevent World War 2.
My favourite scene was when Credence pulled out a magical guitar and played Bad Moon Rising. I love that song.
Sniper aganims is good.
Did someone turn into a werewolf?
At least that would have been entertaining
Credence = Credence Clearwater Revival
It was especially cool when the song made all the water around him turn clear, then suddenly the revival happened.
"Why is Newt involved in any of this?"
Good. Question.
I've just realised that since Newt looks after magical creatures then Fantastic Beasts is Harry Potter if Hagrid was the main character.
@@Xehanort10 I would love hagrid as a main character lol. Also newt is much smarter
I just wished they left out all the dumbledore/Harry Potter reference stuff. Just let it be it’s own story
The thing that really sucks about these movies is that they could have had a really compelling arc about Newt learning to become a hero. Like in the first movie he accidentally ends up being a part of a plot with Grindewauld but as the movies go along he decides to help Dumbledore because he's a compassionate person and because he wants to make sure that the world isn't destroyed and so the animals he cares so much about have safe habitats to live in or whatever. They set up Newt really well in the first movie. He was a super compelling character but as the movies go on he just ends up in the story, he has no agency. Like the first movie set up a perfect motivation for Newt having a problem with both the American magical government and Grindewauld by killing Credence. This could have created really compelling conflict for Newt to actually make sense within this story.
My favorite part of this critique is how damming it is that Jenny understands and knows more about Harry Potter than JK Rowling.
Honestly wouldn't even be surprised if the lizard survived and ended up being Dumbledore's fourth brother smh
Fantastic beasts: The Wizard Lizard
@@8Kaska8 that's a trainwreck I'd pay to see
Can't wait for the twist in the final film revealing that Dumbledore went back in time, saved Credence as a baby and somehow left him with another family who named him James Potter, before everybody in the cinema unites in a mutual scream of uncontrolled rage as they try to wrap their head around that grade A bullshit.
The title of one of the new "Wizarding World" movies as a result would be "Newt and The Revenge of the Fallen Lizard".
"You are a lizard, Harry."
"I am what?"
The original series of HP also had rape in it. Several of Harry's classmates try to drug Harry with love potion so he will date them which, while not amounting to much besides a comedic scene with Ron, was completely brushed aside by the narrative and not viewed as particularly heinous. We also later find out that Voldemort's mom drugged his dad so that he would marry her and have a child with her, and once she stops giving him the potions (in the hopes that he has genuinely grown to love her) he is disgusted and leaves.
Also we learn that Credence's nanny is half-elf, and since JK has neglected to reveal any other kinds of elves in the HP universe we are left to assume that they're referring to house elves. And I'm pretty sure having sex with a creature who is, by nature, obligated to 1) obey your every order if you're their owner or 2) work to please and serve you even if they are a free elf, I'm pretty sure that one is rape too.
If there were only house elves then surely they would just be elves. Not type identifier would be required.
@@LemonChick It's definitely possible that there are other types of elves but I always saw "house" as just a way of signifying their slavery in the same way that there were house slaves and field slaves but they were all the same slaves at the end of the day
honestly harry potter sneaked in so much creepy shit and then completely ignored it. i feel so cheated. hermione trapped rita skeeter as a bug for a year (HOW is that not torture) and hermione permanently physically scarred a girl's face because she sniched on their secret society in order of phoenix when the girl was just probably a kid who got scared of umbridge and the bullies she had deployed, harry is a victim of child abuse and is forced to go back to his abusers every year cos magic protection or whatever, snape is as abusive as a teacher can get AND we are supposed to read his obsession with lily as pure love, nobody in the wizarding world has any issue with keeping house elves as slaves (really??? no one????) and hermione is seen as a freak for protesting against their condition, voldermort's mother sexually assaulted his father, azkaban is a prison system based on consistent and eternal torture. like???? what the fuckity fuck
all the love potion shit is also basically magical date rape drugs;;;; i am losing my mind
And there's the implication that Umbridge was raped by the centaurs in book 5.
After watching the Secrets of Dumbledore, I very much want to see Jenny tear it to sheds as well.
That was like, marginally better than Crimes of Grindelwald.
Because Nagini is probably not easily translatable from parseltongue I just had the funniest thought. Nagini and Voldemort playing that game where you are like "name"- first sillable, 2 letters, Beginning -second sillable, 3 letters, I - first sillable, 1 letter, and like Voldemort intently trying to figure out her name.
Charades
This series is like Cinema Sins but if the person:
1. Watched the movie.
2. Dissected the motivations of the characters.
3. Didn't score count.
4. Is humorous, but doesn't use it as a shield from criticism.
5 Offers ways to improve the movie.
6. Occasionally offers relevant context to tangents.
The thing with Cinema Sins is that they're not looking to make actual criticisms/reviews of the movies. They're literally just nit-picking & cracking jokes for the sake of comedy. They say specifically "we're not critics. We're assholes."
@@SeraphimCramer They flip flop about that all the time.
@@SeraphimCramer except that one of the movie sins guys said in his personal channel that they started cinemasins as a way to call out Hollywood
@@iwanttobelieve2 Call out doesn't mean they're actual critics meant to be taken seriously (even if that's how they started, it's obviously not what the channel's about now).
guys, "they suck on purpose as a joke" isn't a refutation of any sort. It's just a defense of...their character? Did y'all not read point 4 of the OP?
My favorite bit of the movie is when the ministry of magic ask Newt Scamander, a Hufflepuff zookeeper of mystical animals, to commit murder and kill Credence in order to regain his ability to travel internationally. And then they get mad when he says no. And so does his brother.
Also, after he declines it's revealed that they've already hired a magic assassin to kill credence in case Newt said no.
This movie is buck wild.
OMG, i can't wait for a good torrent of this movie to come out so i can see it free ninety nine
I also adore the end of the movie where Credence the recently Dumbledored, who has never in his life even held a wand or known what spells are, blows up the side of a mountain with no training or incantation. This movie, more than any other in the HP series made me feel like magic was a plot moving device and that the explanations for everything was "a wizard did it".
HyTricksy
...and with a wand that didn’t choose him.
I swear I read some 5000 or pages that seemed to suggest you had to learn spells/incantations to perform magic tricks and that those spells got more and more advanced as you progressed through your magical education.
Didnt Harry also blew up something with a Wand that didnt choose him and he had no idea of Wands beforehand? He didnt do any incantation or any Magic trick he just used the Wand and the Wand responded. It probably isnt even a Wand suited for him and Grindlewald knows it. The big blowing of the mountain is clearly exaggerated since he is apparently a D.
Jajoe not only that, but Dumbledore was really the only wizard from that family that was exceptional. Like Aberforth was canonically average, we don’t know about Arianna, and then his parents (as far as I know) weren’t mentioned as very talented or powerful
Dumbledore’s power was unique and exceptional, so why would credence being related to him suddenly explain his power/make us expect him to be exceptional?
You explaining the swapped babies plotline made me feel like I was on an acid trip. Your summary is good enough for me to not watch the movie, thank you!
To be fair JK may have actually considered Nagini's backstory from the conception of the snake in the original story. But that's only because the origin of the name Nagini already comes with that history. Either way, a shape-changing snake woman named Nagini wasn't her idea.
At least when George RR Martin uses history to supply his plot-points, he just admits it.
The ending to this video was better than the baby reveal in the actual movie.
TheVolgun and Jenny Nicholson, unlikely crossovers if I've seen them
Doctor Miller watches movies. L O R E.
Are you procrastinating Dr. Miller?
NOTICEMESENPAI!
Lol
Definitely the cherry on top.
The famous Dumbledore brothers: Albus, Aberforth and Another
*wheeze*
Is this an Awoken reference?
Aurelius?? I think? Like Marcus Aurelius? I dunno it’s still stupid
@@berkleypearl2363 r/whoosh
JUST like the Skywalkers!
funnily enough about the “no-maj” thing, jk effectively did the same thing with the international wizard schools. the american school has a whimsical name but all the other school names are just “magic school” in their respective languages.
“Mahoutokoru”…
How so? Beauxbatons means "beautiful wands". Durmstrang has no meaning and just sounds vaguely Germanic. Mahoutokoro means "place for wizards/magic". Uagadou again has no meaning, and Castelobruxo is "Wizard's castle". So, you're right on 2 out of 7, but also - seems like a fairly logical thing to call your school "the Wizard school" if it's the only one on your continent.
"Can’t-spells is my new name for all you guys in the comments section." LMAO
Also, about the muggle into french. I thought it was kind of disrespectful to translators of JK Rowling to not use the word "moldu" which is the word we use in French. Come on, some people searched for a nice sounding appropriate term.
I think Hungarian translators are amazing as well. They translated the American "No-Mag" to "Magnix". I liked it a lot more
That's such a good point!
I don't know about the Hungarian translation, unfortunately. (But apparently they did good work.) But I have actually heard about the French translation (cause I studied French at some point) and how much care went into it. Including finding meaningful wordplay in French and even taking into consideration how well the translated words/names would fit the lip movement for dubbing the movies.
It really is kind of disrespectful. Also, it's kind of lazy. And less interesting.
@@saddlerrye6725 "Mag nix" translates in german to "doesn't like anything" XD
The Finnish translation was also wonderful, a lot of work was put into it. Muggle is "jästi" in Finnish, which kinda sounds like you're calling someone a moron. It's very fitting, they could've used that too.
"I had already accepted that snakes exist........and that sometimes they're really big..." I love this part the most
the name is Bond, James Bond
Narrator: His brother's name was not Clancy