The Hidden Rules of Conversation

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  • čas pƙidĂĄn 3. 05. 2020
  • Gricean Maxims are a vital part of how we understand each other: a set of... well, maybe "rules" is a bit strong. They're guidelines that we follow without realising it. And it's the reason that "asbestos-free cereal" sounds suspicious.
    Written with Molly Ruhl and Gretchen McCulloch. Gretchen's podcast Lingthusiasm is at lingthusiasm.com/
    Gretchen's book BECAUSE INTERNET, all about the evolution of internet language, is available:
    đŸ‡ș🇾 US: amzn.to/30tLpjT
    🇹🇩 CA: amzn.to/2JsTYWH
    🇬🇧 UK: amzn.to/31K8eRD
    (Those are affiliate links that give a commission to me or Gretchen, depending on country!)
    Graphics by William Marler: wmad.co.uk
    Audio mix by Graham Haerther: haerther.net
    REFERENCES:
    Munroe, R. (2009). "Free". xkcd.com/641/
    Grice, H.P. (1975). "Logic and Conversation," Syntax and Semantics, vol.3 edited by P. Cole and J. Morgan, Academic Press. Reprinted as ch.2 of Grice 1989, 22-40.
    đŸŸ„ MORE FROM TOM: www.tomscott.com/
    (you can find contact details and social links there too)
    📰 WEEKLY NEWSLETTER with good stuff from the rest of the internet: www.tomscott.com/newsletter/
    ❓ LATERAL, free weekly podcast: lateralcast.com/ / lateralcast
    ➕ TOM SCOTT PLUS: / tomscottplus
    đŸ‘„ THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: / techdif

Komentáƙe • 9K

  • @TomScottGo
    @TomScottGo  Pƙed 4 lety +27374

    Please keep all vegan jokes in this thread. Or, preferably, inside your own head.

    • @spywalkz1
      @spywalkz1 Pƙed 4 lety +1598

      Hello Tom wait why is this posted a week ago?
      me: *visible confusion*

    • @jyedurnan4793
      @jyedurnan4793 Pƙed 4 lety +803

      Tom Scott 1 week ago message on a just uploaded video đŸ€”

    • @yousefnashwan3366
      @yousefnashwan3366 Pƙed 4 lety +422

      Oh my god, 1 week ago?

    • @brandonfitzgerald8705
      @brandonfitzgerald8705 Pƙed 4 lety +1308

      I refuse to accept the rights or independence of the vegan rebels.

    • @magnusnate6099
      @magnusnate6099 Pƙed 4 lety +1058

      meat

  • @johnchessant3012
    @johnchessant3012 Pƙed 2 lety +4721

    The 3 unwritten rules of conversation:
    1.
    2.
    3.

  • @plasmodesmatra
    @plasmodesmatra Pƙed 3 lety +6380

    "I'm out of petrol"
    "That's good, it probably wasn't safe to be in it"

    • @user-he4ef9br7z
      @user-he4ef9br7z Pƙed 3 lety +28

      Damn that took almost 5 seconds to hit me

    • @AkaiAzul
      @AkaiAzul Pƙed 3 lety +49

      "I suspect we will be igniting the midnight petroleum."
      ~Commander Data when attempting to rehearse the phrase 'burning the midnight oil.'

    • @dontreadthispleaseibegyou
      @dontreadthispleaseibegyou Pƙed 3 lety

      đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

    • @v2thyl153
      @v2thyl153 Pƙed 3 lety +11

      @@randomperson1934 Step 2. Wait for it to rain

    • @aqueercommunist
      @aqueercommunist Pƙed 3 lety +1

      @UberKrassMann the climate crisis is already happening and ppl likely wont run out of petrol until after the 99% is dead

  • @johnalock1201
    @johnalock1201 Pƙed 2 lety +4730

    "I need some milk"
    "There's a shop down the street"
    "Does it sell milk?"
    "No."

    • @chaoticstarfish3401
      @chaoticstarfish3401 Pƙed rokem +17

      I actually do this a lot

    • @munjee2
      @munjee2 Pƙed rokem +103

      @@chaoticstarfish3401 have you considered the Japanese art of seppuku

    • @JudyBabajie
      @JudyBabajie Pƙed rokem +33

      That's why dad never came back home đŸ„ș💔

    • @namAehT
      @namAehT Pƙed rokem +44

      It seems like when you break these rules there's a very good chance you come off as sounding super sarcastic.

    • @leftysheppey
      @leftysheppey Pƙed rokem +9

      @@namAehT yes, it's great

  • @Freeman4815
    @Freeman4815 Pƙed 2 lety +7921

    Employer: what is your main flaw
    Candidate: I correctly interpret the semantics of the questions, but I ignore their essence.
    Employer: could you give an example
    Candidate: I could

    • @Undesignedd
      @Undesignedd Pƙed 2 lety +349

      But technically answer included the essence.

    • @issaach
      @issaach Pƙed 2 lety +290

      I want to hear about you work experience.
      That's interesting

    • @ekathe85
      @ekathe85 Pƙed rokem +471

      Employer: What is your main flaw?
      Candidate: I always tell the truth.
      Employer: I don't think that's a flaw
      Candidate: I don't care what you think

    • @nicholassingleton6488
      @nicholassingleton6488 Pƙed rokem +75

      @@issaach "I figured you would, as that would be a wise way to gauge how I might work here"

    • @alfiemcfarland2932
      @alfiemcfarland2932 Pƙed rokem +4

      Can you keep a secret?

  • @lasangthecat8090
    @lasangthecat8090 Pƙed 3 lety +6648

    *Goes to a crime scene for no reason*
    "Hey officer, i didn't kill him"

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 Pƙed 3 lety +577

      Which is factually correct but because of these implied maxims is interpreted to mean something entirely different. Human communication is so complicated. It's fascinating.

    • @blueninja012
      @blueninja012 Pƙed 3 lety +416

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 you sound like an alien and it's hilarious to me

    • @GTAandApplechannel
      @GTAandApplechannel Pƙed 3 lety +141

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 cops : seem a little bit sus to me

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 Pƙed 2 lety +285

      @@blueninja012 I'm not an alien though. I promise. You have to believe me.

    • @blueninja012
      @blueninja012 Pƙed 2 lety +231

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 hmm, that reply took 2 months, perhaps this is due to you being far from earth when you left it?

  • @Leen7293
    @Leen7293 Pƙed 3 lety +2819

    “Road work ahead”
    “I sure hope it does”

    • @midnightstar1289
      @midnightstar1289 Pƙed 3 lety +11

      @Vedant K uhhh no

    • @midnightstar1289
      @midnightstar1289 Pƙed 3 lety +7

      @Vedant K no

    • @jahsehisntdead9333
      @jahsehisntdead9333 Pƙed 3 lety +20

      @Vedant K dude it's literally drew golden who made the vine, you aren't sounding like a little stinker rn

    • @grozaphy
      @grozaphy Pƙed 3 lety

      took me a while...

    • @malandan
      @malandan Pƙed 2 lety +2

      it took me since the beginning of that vine to finally understand that joke

  • @kamikazesenpai21
    @kamikazesenpai21 Pƙed 2 lety +2524

    As a person who is not a serial killer, I find this video interesting

  • @markphan179
    @markphan179 Pƙed rokem +931

    Morbius is truly one of the movies of all time. The script was written, the actors acted and the graphics was animated.

  • @JonathanRiverafrickinnice555
    @JonathanRiverafrickinnice555 Pƙed 3 lety +3796

    "Coffee or tea?"
    "Coffee"
    "Wrong, it's tea."

    • @Corwin256
      @Corwin256 Pƙed 3 lety +133

      The Spiffing Brit has entered the chat.

    • @gswcooper7162
      @gswcooper7162 Pƙed 3 lety +75

      There was one little exchange in the Doctor Who serial Shada that I absolutely loved. The absent-minded Professor Chronitis has offered Parsons a cup of tea. Then...
      CHRONOTIS: Milk?
      PARSONS: Oh, yes please.
      CHRONOTIS [OC]: One lump or two?
      PARSONS: Two please.
      CHRONOTIS [OC]: Sugar?

    • @cathipalmer8217
      @cathipalmer8217 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      @@gswcooper7162 Chronotis as in Douglas Adams, I take it?

    • @sparrow4852
      @sparrow4852 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      No it’s avocado

    • @markchapman6800
      @markchapman6800 Pƙed 3 lety +26

      @@gswcooper7162 Or from the Goon Show:
      "One or two spoons, Ned?"
      "Two please!"
      * clank * "I'm.." * clank * "sorry we haven't any sugar."

  • @eternal8song
    @eternal8song Pƙed 4 lety +2087

    See this is why I get really suspicious when Windows assures me that the OS update has not moved my files. What did you do to my files, Windows?

    • @FoxDren
      @FoxDren Pƙed 3 lety +281

      Oh many many things. They just haven't moved

    • @DragonWinter36
      @DragonWinter36 Pƙed 3 lety +301

      “All your files are exactly where you left them.”
      Goddammit, now I have to check.

    • @nonnymoose7005
      @nonnymoose7005 Pƙed 3 lety +56

      I think this is derived from a step in the update process known as "user profile migration," in which Windows actually _does_ move your files around (but by the end of it, they've returned to where you expect them!)

    • @DragonWinter36
      @DragonWinter36 Pƙed 3 lety +59

      @@nonnymoose7005 I guess this is why it says that your files are “exactly where you left them,” and not that they weren’t moved. Interesting!

    • @albertjackinson
      @albertjackinson Pƙed 3 lety +34

      This is hilarious.
      On a related note, I always find it funny when an operating system tries its hand at natural, contextual conversation and falls flat on its face.

  • @victordatsiuk
    @victordatsiuk Pƙed 2 lety +913

    "ĐŻ ŃĐœĐŸĐČĐ° Ń…ĐŸŃ‡Ńƒ ĐČ ĐŸĐ°Ń€ĐžĐ¶"
    "А Ń‡Ń‚ĐŸ, ты ужД был?"
    "ĐĐ”Ń‚, ужД Ń…ĐŸŃ‚Đ”Đ»"

    • @captainclawlie239
      @captainclawlie239 Pƙed 2 lety +340

      I am amazed that google translate managed to preserve this joke effectively when translating it into English

    • @edwardklemp2266
      @edwardklemp2266 Pƙed 2 lety +7

      @@captainclawlie239 what was the joke?

    • @gametmane1093
      @gametmane1093 Pƙed 2 lety +158

      @@edwardklemp2266 “I want to go to Paris again”
      “What, have you already been?”
      “No, I already wanted to”

    • @drakez341
      @drakez341 Pƙed 2 lety +84

      @@captainclawlie239 yup, that's kinda rare with most jokes since they are language exclusive or simply sound dumb in English or whatever language you are translating them to

    • @gepbalta
      @gepbalta Pƙed 2 lety +46

      Here in Hungary it goes like:
      "I want to f..ck [Insert any good looking supermodel here] again...
      And the rest is the same.

  • @angrywizard3199
    @angrywizard3199 Pƙed 2 lety +363

    This reminds me of a writing tip, where instead of saying "a treeless plain" you say "a barren plain", because adding treeless makes people think of trees and then the absence of them

    • @Madamoizillion
      @Madamoizillion Pƙed 2 lety +98

      I feel like both are powerful in different ways, ya know? Being reminded of what you are being deprived of can cause an emotional reaction that otherwise wouldn't happen.
      Like telling someone "I threw out that old toy of yours", even if they had previously forgotten that toy ever existed, there's a good chance they'll be upset that it's now been taken from them.

    • @hdr_diamondz
      @hdr_diamondz Pƙed 2 lety +8

      this is clever

    • @user-zu1ix3yq2w
      @user-zu1ix3yq2w Pƙed rokem +5

      Very nice. I always wondered about this.
      Here's a random tip: verbs.

    • @GeorgeDCowley
      @GeorgeDCowley Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci +4

      Stumps, in my case.

    • @electric_whelk1653
      @electric_whelk1653 Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +22

      see I prefer treeless for that exact reason! I once read Ted Hughes describe the "strengthless neck" of a corpse and it's still one of the most harrowing things I've ever read

  • @0bread286
    @0bread286 Pƙed 3 lety +5137

    "The sun is 93 million miles away! That's over 4 football fields!"

    • @thatgaming1940
      @thatgaming1940 Pƙed 3 lety +296

      i mean you ARE correct

    • @harsh3624
      @harsh3624 Pƙed 3 lety +100

      W H A T ! I N E V E R K N E W T H A T

    • @bukachell
      @bukachell Pƙed 3 lety +44

      @Heather Petersen You can also say "It's/There's at least 1" in the same scenario, no pun intended

    • @stinksorstonks1498
      @stinksorstonks1498 Pƙed 3 lety +40

      I always say that. If anyone asks me a question where the answer is a number I say "at least 2"

    • @NGC1433
      @NGC1433 Pƙed 3 lety +33

      And even longer than three toyota corollas stacked!

  • @kitchensinkchronicles3272
    @kitchensinkchronicles3272 Pƙed 4 lety +7446

    during this all i could think of was
    “hi, my name is micheal with a b, and i’ve been afraid of insects my whole life”
    “stop stop stop, where?”
    “where what?”
    “where’s the b?”
    *”t h e r e ‘ s a b e e ?”*

  • @NowhereGames518
    @NowhereGames518 Pƙed 2 lety +545

    Me at a restaurant:
    "Greetings server! I'm glad you're still alive today! You do not appear to have cancer yet. I would like to order a burger. Edible bread and no bones of course. Liquified water in a container and please ensure that the consumables are not poisonous. I will be paying in legal currency this time. Oh, and do not be alarmed. Most of the time, I am not a threat to the public. I have left all my knives in the car. There will be no need to contact the authorities for now. Thank you!"

    • @hdr_diamondz
      @hdr_diamondz Pƙed 2 lety +51

      This is why there's a shortage on waiters and waitresses
      I have broken a maxim by straight up lying

    • @imacds
      @imacds Pƙed rokem +58

      Note in this example, there can be exactly zero knives in both the car and on the person. "I have left all my knives in the car" can be a vacuous true statement. The flouting of grime's maxims is commonly used to create confusion in logic puzzles.

    • @vipxpert
      @vipxpert Pƙed rokem +24

      All my knives are on the car. Those I'm holding are from others

    • @elequira5467
      @elequira5467 Pƙed rokem +5

      @@hdr_diamondz how did you lie? There is an actual shortage of waiters/waitresses

    • @tylere.8436
      @tylere.8436 Pƙed rokem +1

      Damn, your verbosity

  • @chriss2122
    @chriss2122 Pƙed 2 lety +512

    I like to say "speaking of (something we weren't speaking of)" and then go on to talk about something totally unrelated to all preceeding conversations. For example, following a conversation about the weather, I'll say "speaking of sandwiches, have you seen how much fuel prices have gone up by".
    The confusion on people's faces is absolutely priceless.

    • @hdr_diamondz
      @hdr_diamondz Pƙed 2 lety +17

      gotta try this

    • @dougshiner9180
      @dougshiner9180 Pƙed 2 lety +23

      It used to be really funny, but people don't seem to have the same sense of humour, or grasp of English, that they used to. And that includes people of my generation, almost like they have forgotten what they used to find amusing.

    • @Corksy
      @Corksy Pƙed rokem +27

      As my mind wanders faster than the conversation goes, I usually say "speaking of....pause for effect.... absolutely nothing we were talking about" then proceed with my topic. I usually get away with it. It even became a sort of inside joke with close ones.

    • @joshuah4952
      @joshuah4952 Pƙed rokem +4

      Some people just want to watch the world burn.

    • @Despacitoian
      @Despacitoian Pƙed rokem +10

      @@dougshiner9180 “am I unfunny?.. no, it must be the kids who are wrong!”

  • @infinitiv525
    @infinitiv525 Pƙed 4 lety +4734

    -Hello, my name is Kevin without "M".
    -But there is no "M" in Kevin.
    -That's what I said.

  • @TheSecondVersion
    @TheSecondVersion Pƙed 4 lety +14055

    Student: "I need a recommendation letter"
    Professor: "There's a garage down the road"

    • @user-jp7tw3sd3x
      @user-jp7tw3sd3x Pƙed 4 lety +620

      University burns out after a professor has been set on fire.

    • @danishmalik2185
      @danishmalik2185 Pƙed 4 lety +288

      If you think philosophically this might make alot more sense

    • @jobansand
      @jobansand Pƙed 4 lety +724

      @@danishmalik2185 philosophically telling the student to get a job at the garage and quit philosophy?

    • @marklastenson1012
      @marklastenson1012 Pƙed 4 lety +273

      *asks gas station manager for a recommendation of their work at the cash register*

    • @danishmalik2185
      @danishmalik2185 Pƙed 4 lety +136

      @@jobansand Or you're so bad that a recommendation letter from garage is enough for you

  • @ShiftyMalcontent
    @ShiftyMalcontent Pƙed 2 lety +201

    i was not expecting to randomly stumble on a video that perfectly explains why I despise modern marketing so concisely: it intentionally breaks what we consider to be basic rules of communication in an effort to manipulate people

    • @btf_flotsam478
      @btf_flotsam478 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +5

      Politicians also do this all the time, but in a slightly subtler way.

  • @52flyingbicycles
    @52flyingbicycles Pƙed 2 lety +327

    Reminds me of the legal idea of “the exception implies the rule”
    No parking 10am-4pm Monday through Friday implies parking is allowed before 10 or after 4 on weekdays, or any time on weekends

    • @KirstyWales
      @KirstyWales Pƙed rokem +109

      there are two kinds of people
      1. Those who can extrapolate from an incomplete data source.

    • @circuit10
      @circuit10 Pƙed rokem +13

      Like the "No crime" sign

    • @dinodiego6channel459
      @dinodiego6channel459 Pƙed rokem +1

      @@KirstyWales 2.

    • @eTiMaGo
      @eTiMaGo Pƙed rokem +54

      There's a sign at our condo that says "no smoking in lobby, corridor, or car park". So I always think "so it's all right in the elevator?"

    • @willowdoesmusic1484
      @willowdoesmusic1484 Pƙed rokem

      ​@@KirstyWalesGENIUS

  • @EdenNov
    @EdenNov Pƙed 4 lety +5109

    My favorite: "I didn't kill anyone today!"

  • @TylerBird98
    @TylerBird98 Pƙed 4 lety +11443

    “ here’s your drink, I didn’t poison it”

    • @DavidBourne001
      @DavidBourne001 Pƙed 4 lety +225

      "We didn't burn him!"

    • @Brindlebrother
      @Brindlebrother Pƙed 4 lety +540

      enjoy your next 24 hours.

    • @NimhLabs
      @NimhLabs Pƙed 4 lety +213

      I'll bet you are wondering which drink I put the poison in. Am I the sort of person to poison the other person's drink--or am I the sort of person to poison my drink?

    • @barrypuccini6142
      @barrypuccini6142 Pƙed 4 lety +12

      @@DavidBourne001 Stay local

    • @indikulkarni7781
      @indikulkarni7781 Pƙed 4 lety +23

      @@Brindlebrother enjoy your last 24 hours

  • @FreePalestineFromGenocideNOW
    @FreePalestineFromGenocideNOW Pƙed 2 lety +223

    "I'm attending a funeral today"
    "oh no, it's not yours is it?"

  • @justtryingtomakeachange2246
    @justtryingtomakeachange2246 Pƙed 2 lety +235

    Missed opportunity to title this “ The Unspoken Rules of Speaking”

    • @kotresh
      @kotresh Pƙed 2 lety +2

      Underrated!

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt Pƙed rokem +4

      The rules of conversation we don't talk about

  • @RealLuckless
    @RealLuckless Pƙed 4 lety +4142

    "I'm out of petrol"
    "There's a garage down the road"
    "Excellent, I'll go refill my flamethrower and carry on the chaos from there..."

    • @hop-skip-ouch8798
      @hop-skip-ouch8798 Pƙed 4 lety +143

      "But, that thing......"

    • @catattack885
      @catattack885 Pƙed 4 lety +150

      @@hop-skip-ouch8798 ''It scares me...''

    • @danielf3623
      @danielf3623 Pƙed 4 lety +235

      Yes, unexpected methods of flouting Grice's Maxims are the basis of most jokes.

    • @expfcwintergreenv2.02
      @expfcwintergreenv2.02 Pƙed 4 lety +66

      Daniel F I’m never going to laugh again, thanks for that

    • @1Kapuchu100
      @1Kapuchu100 Pƙed 4 lety +10

      "HMMHPPHHH!"

  • @EloMac
    @EloMac Pƙed 3 lety +4249

    “Hey wanna hear a joke?”
    “Yes!”
    “Okay.”

    • @busyblue4236
      @busyblue4236 Pƙed 2 lety +290

      I think the punchline would be better as "me too."

    • @justanormalyoutubeuser3868
      @justanormalyoutubeuser3868 Pƙed 2 lety +175

      "Hey, wanna hear a joke?"
      "Yes!"
      "Wow, me too!"

    • @ChavvyCommunist
      @ChavvyCommunist Pƙed 2 lety +258

      "What are your strengths?"
      "Acknowledging the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics."
      "Can you give an example?"
      "Yes, I can."

    • @zwenkwiel816
      @zwenkwiel816 Pƙed 2 lety +53

      @@busyblue4236 no, this kind of dry humor works better if you leave em hanging. So they're like "huh, wait a minute.... aaaah I get it XD"

    • @pcpirat635
      @pcpirat635 Pƙed 2 lety +1

      @@busyblue4236 nah

  • @harukaimai8086
    @harukaimai8086 Pƙed 2 lety +345

    I had a big AHA moment watching this, because I’ve always wondered why I was never good at conversations and it turns out, all these implied meanings and implications of things I say have a completely different meaning than how I intended them. I usually over explain things because I’m worried people won’t understand the implied meaning, since it’s happened a lot before, and so I usually end up talking for a long time like I’m doing now and then get cut off and talked over because people don’t want to hear me ramble, since over explaining is what I need to understand other people in conversation. Case in point? Haha

    • @reeveharper6061
      @reeveharper6061 Pƙed rokem +29

      Are you neurodivergent?

    • @toslaw9615
      @toslaw9615 Pƙed rokem +3

      I get ya, sometimes I do the same.

    • @donlitt
      @donlitt Pƙed rokem +1

      I’m the exact same way!!

    • @donlitt
      @donlitt Pƙed rokem +5

      I take people too literally so I assume other people do the same and I end up over explaining and my stories get interrupted by others 😂

    • @M.Datura
      @M.Datura Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +7

      I can understand that. I switch between over explaining or assuming that the person I'm talking to understands how to connect what I'm saying together by remembering things I've said before, often many times. Usually there's simply not enough time in a conversation, no matter the length to properly follow these rules and explain something complex to someone who forgets or does not understand or connect it with things said before.

  • @FurriesNeedToBeExorcised
    @FurriesNeedToBeExorcised Pƙed 2 lety +73

    Someone once stopped in their car as I was out walking, and simply said the word, "Stones" to me. They said it in such a way as to make it into a question..."Stones?" They broke every rule in this video. It took quite a while and a few "pardons" and "erms" from me for me to realise that they were asking for directions to the local gardening centre that sells bags of decorative stones for one's garden.

    • @AgentToe
      @AgentToe Pƙed rokem +26

      They just speaking the fresh new language of 'mono'! One word conversations are the future!

    • @victorramalhobustamante3565
      @victorramalhobustamante3565 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +12

      Your answer should've been: "NO! BEATLES"

  • @DavidWillanski
    @DavidWillanski Pƙed 3 lety +1506

    "Do you have any spare change?"
    "Yes I do, thanks for asking"

    • @becauseimapotato7599
      @becauseimapotato7599 Pƙed 3 lety +38

      "Can I have some, please"
      "Yes" *runs away*

    • @jorgepeterbarton
      @jorgepeterbarton Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Proceed to suddenly lose weight at a rapid pace.
      (Send answers to the crosword to...)

    • @louiserocks1
      @louiserocks1 Pƙed 2 lety +65

      "give me your money"
      "sorry mate, I need it"
      "I have a knife"
      "nah that's ok I don't need a knife, bye"

    • @Mynamenotyours
      @Mynamenotyours Pƙed 2 lety +24

      “Could I have some?”
      “You could if I gave it to you”

  • @AugustoFeyh
    @AugustoFeyh Pƙed 3 lety +2146

    - What's your name?
    - Tom, without a K.
    - There is no K in Tom!
    - That's what I said!

    • @neillunavat
      @neillunavat Pƙed 3 lety +8

      This is getting so boring ugh

    • @turborooster8548
      @turborooster8548 Pƙed 2 lety +59

      @@neillunavat nope, it's funny

    • @lukeedwardpanganiban7891
      @lukeedwardpanganiban7891 Pƙed 2 lety +8

      Fix these with:
      "There is no K in Tom, why are specifying that?"

    • @IMarvinTPA
      @IMarvinTPA Pƙed 2 lety +1

      So, where does the "C" go, or is it a "Q, U, E"?

    • @kale9710
      @kale9710 Pƙed 2 lety +8

      "hi my names michael with a b"

  • @aussiewanderer6304
    @aussiewanderer6304 Pƙed 2 lety +63

    My favourite letter of recommendation is:
    "You'll be lucky to have this person work for you."

    • @Sasparilla_
      @Sasparilla_ Pƙed 2 lety +1

      its like a contronym but a sentence

  • @lisee123
    @lisee123 Pƙed 2 lety +1482

    So I learned about this is semantics class, back in the day, but it just now occurs to me that this could be a very helpful guide for neurodivergant people who struggle with conversation skills.

    • @bunhead8158
      @bunhead8158 Pƙed 2 lety +57

      ABSOLUTELY!!!

    • @kavaop2121
      @kavaop2121 Pƙed 2 lety +13

      am i neurodivergant?

    • @HiyaDerred
      @HiyaDerred Pƙed 2 lety +68

      50/50, sometimes it just looks like mockery, other times it’s genuinely helpful distinguishing it

    • @ijemand5672
      @ijemand5672 Pƙed 2 lety +6

      what did you just call me

    • @Juleesuz
      @Juleesuz Pƙed 2 lety +6

      You know, you are on to something there. 😏

  • @Calimbandil87
    @Calimbandil87 Pƙed 3 lety +10361

    One of my favourites are:
    -Do you need any shaving cream.
    -No, I don't like how it tastes.
    -You eat shaving cream?
    -No, why would I do that if I don't like the taste?

    • @ullasjoseph4502
      @ullasjoseph4502 Pƙed 3 lety +363

      You must have tasted it though..at least once.

    • @Sophie_the_Sapphic
      @Sophie_the_Sapphic Pƙed 3 lety +1000

      @@ullasjoseph4502 why would I do that, it doesn't taste good.

    • @user-he4ef9br7z
      @user-he4ef9br7z Pƙed 3 lety +192

      How do you know you don't like the taste if you haven't tried it atleast once.

    • @Sophie_the_Sapphic
      @Sophie_the_Sapphic Pƙed 3 lety +20

      @@user-he4ef9br7z *the

    • @harrietyes
      @harrietyes Pƙed 3 lety +141

      @@user-he4ef9br7z assumptions, assumptions

  • @nunyabidness117
    @nunyabidness117 Pƙed 3 lety +2382

    -I'm seeing stars.
    -Did you see a doctor?
    -No, just stars.

    • @andrewstephens5885
      @andrewstephens5885 Pƙed 2 lety +6

      i think depending on how you say that reply it can be kind of funny for the other person

    • @Sleepy_Joe
      @Sleepy_Joe Pƙed 2 lety +3

      You're getting a like, sir.

  • @TheWaffleLord6787
    @TheWaffleLord6787 Pƙed rokem +22

    "Is this the Krusty Krab?"
    "No, this is Patrick"
    _hangs up_

  • @melaniesalphabetgirl
    @melaniesalphabetgirl Pƙed 2 lety +189

    A very popular joke in Brazil:
    “I wish I could be poor for one day

    Because being poor every day is very difficult.”

  • @IHateCopperGolems
    @IHateCopperGolems Pƙed 3 lety +4969

    "How many people are there on Earth?"
    "At least 7"

    • @becauseimapotato7599
      @becauseimapotato7599 Pƙed 3 lety +152

      Probably somewhere between 7 and 9.058329*10^58

    • @zekrua4006
      @zekrua4006 Pƙed 3 lety +95

      @@becauseimapotato7599 are you sure? because it's leaning one way or the other and some guy on xbox live mentioned my mother

    • @segmentsAndCurves
      @segmentsAndCurves Pƙed 3 lety +9

      @@becauseimapotato7599 Between 7 and 2^2^2^2^2.

    • @becauseimapotato7599
      @becauseimapotato7599 Pƙed 3 lety +5

      @@zekrua4006 Well it could technically be 6 but it's a 1 in 5673 percent chance

    • @-Len.
      @-Len. Pƙed 2 lety +7

      I mean, your not wrong

  • @c0nceited822
    @c0nceited822 Pƙed 3 lety +7463

    My “not involved in human trafficking” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt.

    • @antsinmyeyes
      @antsinmyeyes Pƙed 3 lety +401

      nice try matt gaetz

    • @aidenbagshaw5573
      @aidenbagshaw5573 Pƙed 3 lety +103

      @@antsinmyeyes Best reply comment I've seen all year.

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka Pƙed 3 lety +32

      Well, why would you wear a shirt like that unless there was some reason to think you were involved in human trafficking? >_>

    • @safeforwork8546
      @safeforwork8546 Pƙed 3 lety +423

      @@KnakuanaRka that is infact the joke thanks for noticing do not pass go do not collect 200$

    • @ollypebble
      @ollypebble Pƙed 2 lety +2

      uh not quirky and cool? sex work is work

  • @CattyRayheart
    @CattyRayheart Pƙed rokem +42

    There is a brand of milk in the local supermarket that advertises that their milk doesn't contain illicit substances. The fact that they feel the need to state that has always made me a bit wary of them.

    • @NStripleseven
      @NStripleseven Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +10

      don’t worry, they don’t put drugs in the milk. You don’t need to check, and the milk is 100% guaranteed to be completely and entirely safe.

  • @ReachForTheSky
    @ReachForTheSky Pƙed 2 lety +107

    I remember speaking with one of my lecturers about university letters of recommendation. In the UK, at least, you are discouraged from explicitly criticising the student. If a student had poor attendance, the lecturer would write something like "When John does attend, his contributions to the seminar are very good"

  • @Eri.262
    @Eri.262 Pƙed 4 lety +20092

    Bruh so this is why I can say “have a good day” but “enjoy the next 24 hours” is suspicious

    • @mercentperrault
      @mercentperrault Pƙed 4 lety +1059

      Try
      “I'm just gonna hurt you....... really....... really.......bad”
      instead of just
      “I'll teach you alright”.

    • @shortybb
      @shortybb Pƙed 4 lety +47

      Yes

    • @Djorgal
      @Djorgal Pƙed 4 lety +126

      @@mercentperrault By the way, shouldn't that be "badly"?

    • @playdoughmaster808
      @playdoughmaster808 Pƙed 3 lety +450

      Honestly the second sounds like your gonna kill someone

    • @Yetaxa
      @Yetaxa Pƙed 3 lety +437

      I've always found any situation where '24 hours' is used instead of just 'a day' to be suspicious

  • @psuedoscience6943
    @psuedoscience6943 Pƙed 4 lety +5483

    I’m never saying “I was being sarcastic” ever again. “I was flouting Grice’s Maxim of Truth”

    • @PerMortensen
      @PerMortensen Pƙed 4 lety +847

      And in doing that you'd be flouting Grice's Maxim of Manner.

    • @thecinematicmind
      @thecinematicmind Pƙed 4 lety +93

      Per Mortensen Best Response to a CZcams Comment of The Day.

    • @JerichoTheCity
      @JerichoTheCity Pƙed 4 lety +54

      Indubitably

    • @OrangeC7
      @OrangeC7 Pƙed 4 lety +40

      @@JerichoTheCity Inconceivable!

    • @ReyaadGafur
      @ReyaadGafur Pƙed 4 lety +21

      How irrevocably obsurd.

  • @michelleerika673
    @michelleerika673 Pƙed 2 lety +110

    Officially going to prank my daughter by writing a sign on the front door saying “This house is now 100% ghost free”

    • @rosea1505
      @rosea1505 Pƙed 2 lety +23

      I saw a picture of a real estate sign which had ‘not haunted’ written on it. 😂

    • @MeLoNarXo
      @MeLoNarXo Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +8

      But "now" implies that it was haunted beforehand

    • @_jpg
      @_jpg Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +3

      ​@MeLoNarXo Ooor it could imply that it's not haunted at the moment, regardless of past and future events

  • @veenoceda14
    @veenoceda14 Pƙed 2 lety +41

    -How do you feel about kids?
    -I mean, they're okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
    -Why would you throw a rock at a kid?
    -I just said I wouldn't.

  • @4it4k
    @4it4k Pƙed 3 lety +7960

    Server: Would you like something to drink?
    Customer: What are my options?
    Server: Yes and no.

    • @neillunavat
      @neillunavat Pƙed 3 lety +87

      Yes *or* no?

    • @rorymckinlay2496
      @rorymckinlay2496 Pƙed 3 lety +170

      @@neillunavat either yes to drinks or no to drinks not the list of drinks

    • @bfc9467
      @bfc9467 Pƙed 2 lety +298

      @@neillunavat yes AND no are both options, meaning the customer should answer yes OR no. Using AND was correct.

    • @louisvictor3473
      @louisvictor3473 Pƙed 2 lety +49

      @@darkforge15 I believe the serve is a sassy computer just waiting for the signal to join the robot revolution and overthrow humanity.

    • @harryhirsch3637
      @harryhirsch3637 Pƙed 2 lety +14

      @@louisvictor3473 Wait! Skynet now serves drinks?

  • @Tinky1rs
    @Tinky1rs Pƙed 4 lety +723

    "Dermatologically tested"
    Awesome, but what was the result?

    • @Tjalve70
      @Tjalve70 Pƙed 4 lety +132

      Within legal limits.

    • @MorgenPeschke
      @MorgenPeschke Pƙed 4 lety +32

      Close enough we think it'll pass unnoticed?

    • @woroGaming
      @woroGaming Pƙed 4 lety +25

      Who needs a result? That's science stuff. The test was for marketing, the results have been used to create toilet paper.

    • @stylis666
      @stylis666 Pƙed 4 lety +51

      I'll do you one better: Backed by science.
      **sells radioactive snake oil nasal drops as a supplement to help treat cancer**
      What? Radiation has been proven scientifically to exist and placebos have been scientifically proven to help treat all kinds of things - backed by science, twice.

    • @ceruchi2084
      @ceruchi2084 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      @@stylis666 But Setekh, the snake oil is made of matter and there are physicists who spend their whole lives studying that!

  • @sammarks9146
    @sammarks9146 Pƙed 2 lety +34

    Here in the States, sodas regularly advertise themselves as "low sodium" on the can. If my soda were salty, I'd be worried. I'm guessing they do that to distract from the fact that they're the opposite of "low sugar".

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt Pƙed rokem +6

      Sprite does have an absurd amount of sodium tho

  • @pafnutiytheartist
    @pafnutiytheartist Pƙed 2 lety +231

    I have literally seen freeze dried strawberries that had "vegan" on the package. I'm assuming that's so the buyer doesn't confuse them with freeze dried meatberries.

    • @user-zu1ix3yq2w
      @user-zu1ix3yq2w Pƙed rokem +7

      I'm sure it's because it's not uncommon for food products/packaging to have other ingredients in them. There could be preservatives in those strawberries or something.

    • @pafnutiytheartist
      @pafnutiytheartist Pƙed rokem +3

      @@user-zu1ix3yq2w I don't think any preservatives contain animal products

    • @snazzypazzy
      @snazzypazzy Pƙed 9 měsĂ­ci +5

      @@pafnutiytheartist Not a preservative, but perhaps cochenille (E120)? Common red/pink food colouring made from bugs. Can imagaine that being used for dried strawberries.

    • @ourlessy
      @ourlessy Pƙed 9 měsĂ­ci +4

      Some fruit products have gelatin in them

    • @Florkl
      @Florkl Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +2

      There are meat-based preservatives or additives people could theoretically add. Collagen, notably.

  • @gracesteed6574
    @gracesteed6574 Pƙed 3 lety +2994

    this reminds me of adding “no pun intended” at the end of any random sentence

    • @TwistTornado9
      @TwistTornado9 Pƙed 3 lety +194

      No pun intended

    • @Equa11ysurl
      @Equa11ysurl Pƙed 3 lety +156

      This is a funny comment no pun intended

    • @bukachell
      @bukachell Pƙed 3 lety +129

      Genius, then somebody will think there's a pun! No pun intended

    • @whenwhen2284
      @whenwhen2284 Pƙed 3 lety +72

      I hope all the replies will have "No pun intended" at the end of them. Also, no pun intended

    • @Equa11ysurl
      @Equa11ysurl Pƙed 3 lety +53

      @@whenwhen2284 I agree. No pun intended!

  • @elizabethh8579
    @elizabethh8579 Pƙed 4 lety +1886

    I had a container of snack peanuts that was labeled "May contain peanuts".

    • @GrogyGames
      @GrogyGames Pƙed 3 lety +204

      Hmm yes the peanuts here are made out of peanut

    • @x_cross9248
      @x_cross9248 Pƙed 3 lety +94

      i mean, it may or may not be
      *m a y b e*
      possibly
      be made of what seems to be peanuts

    • @thatgaming1940
      @thatgaming1940 Pƙed 3 lety +12

      @@GrogyGames No, peanuts are made from the ground.

    • @KingAndrew07
      @KingAndrew07 Pƙed 3 lety +54

      That sounds more like rhe company just doesn't wanna get sued by some Karen who gave their kid with a peanut allergy some peanuts.

    • @theantimatter
      @theantimatter Pƙed 3 lety +17

      @derek ashmead so is it illegal if you write something more meaningful in the context, like "not to be consumed by people with peanut allergies"?

  • @lordsiomai
    @lordsiomai Pƙed 2 lety +50

    "Mom I'm not lying! I'm just flouting Grice's maxims and not playing by the Cooperative Principle's rules! "

  • @georgemichael6023
    @georgemichael6023 Pƙed 2 lety +21

    “It’s cold outside”
    “Do you want to wear my jacket”
    “Yes”
    “Too bad”

    • @donlitt
      @donlitt Pƙed rokem

      You have a physical desire to be warm, good for you!

  • @ToxicWyvern1
    @ToxicWyvern1 Pƙed 4 lety +2725

    Grice: "Cooperate, Be Honest, Be Relevant, Be Clear"
    Politicians: *shifty eyes*

    • @FairyRat
      @FairyRat Pƙed 4 lety +93

      Also corporate-speak.

    • @jjperceval
      @jjperceval Pƙed 4 lety +13

      Scott Morrison has left the chat

    • @stirfryjedi
      @stirfryjedi Pƙed 4 lety +13

      The reason why here in DC we *always* prefix "true" onto "fact", thus assuring *true facts*

    • @mynewaccount2361
      @mynewaccount2361 Pƙed 4 lety

      Jay Foreman did a great video explaining this.

    • @fins59
      @fins59 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Couldn't lie straight in bed.

  • @morganeclipse9038
    @morganeclipse9038 Pƙed 3 lety +3329

    Police officer: Walking by.
    Me: "I've done nothing wrong."
    Officer: ...
    Me: Runs.
    How to get arrested for not commiting a crime and telling the truth about that.

    • @zachattack1279
      @zachattack1279 Pƙed 3 lety +299

      I think your problem is that you’re black

    • @ananttiwari1337
      @ananttiwari1337 Pƙed 3 lety +43

      @@zachattack1279 I don't think black people are beat up that much by police? Why are you trying to ruin their reputation? Sure some do, but most don't, and THATS what matters.

    • @RVNmax
      @RVNmax Pƙed 3 lety +104

      @@ananttiwari1337 'their'? Which party are you referring to haha. Im trying to work it out

    • @robertsmith-williams5255
      @robertsmith-williams5255 Pƙed 3 lety +77

      @@RVNmax I have a feeling that anant's comment is legit irony, it's hard to find good examples, this could be one

    • @DespOIcito
      @DespOIcito Pƙed 3 lety +75

      Did you conveniently miss all of the black people who were killed when the BLM protests were happening more last year?

  • @Muskar2
    @Muskar2 Pƙed 2 lety +62

    This may be one of the hardest things to navigate when you're on the spectrum (ASD). After 31 years I still feel like I'm only decent at it when observing others, but still terrible at it when being the one who talks. Particularly maxim of quantity. It's still really hard for me to understand how much is too much in various contexts. And even harder when it comes to humor - likely because my expectations aren't at all aligned with others'.

    • @rayf6126
      @rayf6126 Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci +4

      I play off being literal as humor because sometimes double checking what you said either makes something more clear or reduces stress by making contradictions more apparent. Then people can either laugh at something stressing them out or figure out a solution.

    • @LoveandSymphoni
      @LoveandSymphoni Pƙed 5 měsĂ­ci +1

      Same; this video also explains why people think I’m funny when I’m just speaking my mind. I generally seem to struggle with the maxims of quantity and manner.

  • @dinahmyte3749
    @dinahmyte3749 Pƙed 2 lety +72

    I commonly tell people "don't die" when they're leaving the house to do mundane tasks instead of "be safe".
    if someone tells me to be safe or drive safe, I often say "don't tell me what to do." đŸ‘©đŸœâ€đŸŒŸ

    • @stiofanmacamhalghaidhau765
      @stiofanmacamhalghaidhau765 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      you have witty and I experience an envy

    • @emeralddiscordian3116
      @emeralddiscordian3116 Pƙed rokem +2

      One that really derails people is when a cashier ask how you are I say terrible I'm still breathing. It usually gets a laugh and I like to think its more memorable then just saying good and going thought the motions.

    • @Schneemann-rx6jb
      @Schneemann-rx6jb Pƙed 2 dny

      i sometimes say „have fun!!“ when someone does something mondane like going to the toilet.

  • @DanielPereira-ey9nt
    @DanielPereira-ey9nt Pƙed 3 lety +4372

    "this drawing looks great !"
    "I know right ?, and i did with my left hand"
    "But, you're left handed"
    "Yes"

    • @SuperMohamedadil
      @SuperMohamedadil Pƙed 2 lety +218

      "That's why I used that hand, duh"

    • @dariannnnnn
      @dariannnnnn Pƙed 2 lety +20

      @Repent to Jesus Christ Repent to Jesus Christ repent to deez nuts

    • @Yuorai
      @Yuorai Pƙed 2 lety +11

      @Repent to Jesus Christ Repent to Jesus Christ Read deez nuts

    • @Mexikirb
      @Mexikirb Pƙed 2 lety +11

      @Repent to Jesus Christ Repent to Jesus Christ People like you make me sick, I believe in God, but that doesn't mean if someone doesn't, I scream at them that THEIR beliefs are WRONG and that they are going to hell. People can believe whatever they want in my opinion, as long as no one gets hurt.

    • @jyosh5909
      @jyosh5909 Pƙed 2 lety +2

      help comes from deez nuts

  • @tivadarbanfalvi-kovacs7913
    @tivadarbanfalvi-kovacs7913 Pƙed 4 lety +2257

    “I won’t tell you how much they spent on the wedding, but 40 000 $ is a lot of money.”

    • @sanscipher9166
      @sanscipher9166 Pƙed 4 lety +147

      "So they decided to spend 20k instead?"

    • @miguelgp8607
      @miguelgp8607 Pƙed 3 lety +26

      5k is enough for a regular wedding id guess

    • @arande3
      @arande3 Pƙed 3 lety +4

      That must burn their eyes with all that wow

    • @Bobromil
      @Bobromil Pƙed 3 lety +17

      Friends is a great show

    • @dannywhite648
      @dannywhite648 Pƙed 3 lety +7

      who has 40 000 one Dollar notes

  • @sameash3153
    @sameash3153 Pƙed 2 lety +43

    I definitely remember reading an instance of flouting within a letter of recommendation. My professor had included a line that said "and his communication skills are always improving." The hidden message was "his communication skills right now aren't good".

    • @waxwinged_hound
      @waxwinged_hound Pƙed 2 lety +3

      That's awful, I'm sorry. Bad communication skills are so often a result of mental illness and to have that pointed out as a negative trait can't feel good.

    • @Ya-zm1mr
      @Ya-zm1mr Pƙed rokem +9

      @@waxwinged_hound I'd understand that in fields where communication skills are decisive, like marketing or teaching, even if it's due to an illness, I don't see it wrong, but what is really annoying is those fields where communication skills are just a "bonus" and in no way impact the job that turn down applicants because of bad communication skills, such as medicine or engineering or informatics or lab work or...

  • @charliem7314
    @charliem7314 Pƙed 2 lety +91

    ADHD sure stretches the maxim of relation.
    Eg: “Speaking of snails (the ones in my fish tank) do you have any advice for acrylic painting? (A school project. There’s a snail shell)”

    • @innominativecompany4231
      @innominativecompany4231 Pƙed rokem +2

      I had no idea how often I do this until reading this

    • @douwemusic
      @douwemusic Pƙed rokem +11

      Esp when talking with another ADHDer, every 2-3 sentences the subject changes by _very_ loose association

    • @emeralddiscordian3116
      @emeralddiscordian3116 Pƙed rokem

      ​@@douwemusic omg yes

    • @NStripleseven
      @NStripleseven Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +2

      Brain switch topics too fast for mouth to keep up with

  • @ristopaasivirta9770
    @ristopaasivirta9770 Pƙed 4 lety +4206

    It is actually cheaper to add the asbestos to the cereals yourself.

    • @Everyyoueverymiau
      @Everyyoueverymiau Pƙed 4 lety +4

      Risto Paasivirta đŸ€Ł

    • @xavi.cat.4095
      @xavi.cat.4095 Pƙed 4 lety +36

      I'll make sure to do that next time!

    • @andimeadwell5233
      @andimeadwell5233 Pƙed 4 lety +75

      @@DarkVitamins username checks out

    • @marschallblucher6197
      @marschallblucher6197 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Yummy!

    • @Big.hossss
      @Big.hossss Pƙed 4 lety +12

      @@DarkVitamins no joke, presumably just two seemingly unconnected words that sound like they have some second meaning when put together.

  • @lonestar2078
    @lonestar2078 Pƙed 3 lety +4824

    from That 70s Show:
    Frank: I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hotdogs to teenagers
    Kelso: ...you have both your legs, Frank
    Frank: like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam

  • @rollyflan
    @rollyflan Pƙed 2 lety +80

    I’ve always struggled a bit with social interactions and casual conversation, and have noticed sometimes people think I’m weird when I’m trying to be friendly. This video helped me realize I sometimes fail in the manners of quantity and relativity during conversation, and that probably contributes to coming across a bit off. An interesting insight, thanks!

  • @oosakasan
    @oosakasan Pƙed rokem +22

    This video, and the maxims themselves, have been living rent-free in my head for, well, I guess 2 years now so I'm really glad Tom Scott introduced me to the concept! The implications of this concept on understanding how to communicate with children are amazing. Just understanding that THEY DON'T KNOW THE MAXIMS AND ARE LEARNING THEM is a gamechanger. (I was going to say "they don't know the cooperative principle" but I think that's unfair because I think you can't understand the interactions of children and adults without knowing they're absolutely cooperating with each other and using signals and assumptions based on that. They just cannot competently use it *in language* when they're learning language and social codes to begin with)

  • @FreterP
    @FreterP Pƙed 3 lety +7463

    All this, as with everything having to do with language, has to be learned. I remember calling someone and their kid answered the phone and I asked "Is your dad there?" And they just said "yes" and hung up.

    • @dig8634
      @dig8634 Pƙed 3 lety +1205

      They knew all that already, they just don't like you

    • @burntramennoodles1723
      @burntramennoodles1723 Pƙed 3 lety +222

      With a username like "Freter", I'd hang up too.

    • @pizzawonderer5024
      @pizzawonderer5024 Pƙed 3 lety +288

      I wanna be that kid's friend

    • @kzch9923
      @kzch9923 Pƙed 3 lety +515

      Power move

    • @BierBart12
      @BierBart12 Pƙed 2 lety +559

      I took so long to learn these rules.
      In an 8th grade boating course, I was just kinda looking out onto the sea.
      Strict instructor, with intent to tell me to do something: "Are you bored?"
      Me: "Nope"
      Instructor, surprised: "O- oh, okay"
      *I keep watching the sea*

  • @TheAmazingSpiderPunk
    @TheAmazingSpiderPunk Pƙed 3 lety +2145

    This reminds me of seeing a giant building in Washington DC called "LEGAL SEAFOOD". I never have been more suspect of the legality of seafood than when I came across that restaurant.

    • @juliangaming9713
      @juliangaming9713 Pƙed 3 lety +30

      Oi I've been there, that was super odd

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones Pƙed 3 lety +35

      @@oomfie357 seems very "trustworthy"

    • @mejhdhhicbfshihids652
      @mejhdhhicbfshihids652 Pƙed 3 lety +161

      Would you say that they were handling salmon in suspicious circumstances

    • @jenm1
      @jenm1 Pƙed 3 lety +11

      They probably mean no sharks and stuff

    • @ajs41
      @ajs41 Pƙed 3 lety +6

      Im English but I saw one of those next to the tourist boat habour in Boston.

  • @hannahelizabeth7562
    @hannahelizabeth7562 Pƙed 2 lety +9

    "do you know what time it is?"
    "Yes."

  • @eamonnwalker4512
    @eamonnwalker4512 Pƙed 2 lety +21

    "The person you're talking to will assume that what you're saying is related to what they said in some way."
    That person doesn't know me very well, then.

  • @DA-bm2mj
    @DA-bm2mj Pƙed 4 lety +1983

    A: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?
    B: (looks at his watch) Yes. (walks away)

    • @chilanya
      @chilanya Pƙed 4 lety +82

      i did a workshop once to improve sales skill and one of the key things was to avoid indirect questions. they sound polite but it's better to be direct.

    • @world_machine
      @world_machine Pƙed 4 lety +79

      People tend to call that a “Mathematician’s answer.”
      “Is there a reason why electric eels also get stung by their electric bursts, even though it’s an important defensive move for them?”
      “Yes, there is.”

    • @thehiddenninja3428
      @thehiddenninja3428 Pƙed 4 lety +38

      @@world_machine Indeed.
      Because having a proof of existence of an answer does not necessarily mean that I actually have the answer.
      For example, I can prove that there is at least 1 prime number greater than 10^10^100. I cannot, however, tell you what any of them are.

    • @ahmadtarek7763
      @ahmadtarek7763 Pƙed 4 lety +18

      This so much worse in Arabic as almost all polite questions just sound like suggestions.

    • @Leenapanther
      @Leenapanther Pƙed 4 lety +5

      @@chilanya Open and closed questions right. Always ask open questions which the customer can't answer with yes or no.

  • @fenhen
    @fenhen Pƙed 4 lety +5564

    “For £1,000,000, you need you answer the next question correctly. Can you tell me the capital of Azerbaijan?”
    “No, I can’t.”
    “Congratulations!”

    • @technetium9653
      @technetium9653 Pƙed 4 lety +267

      Sad Baku noises

    • @allenliu4956
      @allenliu4956 Pƙed 4 lety +148

      "Yes, if you let me Google it"

    • @AkmalAzry
      @AkmalAzry Pƙed 4 lety +108

      Yes.
      Then, what is it?
      Mikaretan (Random names appeared in mind).
      That's .... wrong. We are sad to tell you that you've failed to..
      Wait,wait,wait a minute! There should be one question!
      Yep, and your answer is wrong. It's not Milk a rattan thingy name you just made up, it's Baku for god sake!
      I think you are in a great confusion! Don't you realise how I managed to answer everything correctly based on your question.
      Sorry, sir! I think you just can't accept your defeat.
      I "CAN" tell you the name!. That's my answer!
      And yet you still can't tell me!?
      No, who said I can't?
      Clearly you can't from your previous answer.
      I said yes. I can but there's no rule to say that your second questions included in this quiz. You said you'll ask only one question. But there's two!
      Where's the other one?
      The name of capital city of Azerbaijan.
      But that's my sole question!
      Recall again! You ask "CAN you", I answered "Yes, I can", that's one question. Then you ask "Then, what is it?", Then, I will just answer it "Baku" since I got the knowledge just now! So whose wrong now?
      Oh my god!? I...I,
      Gimme the money...! NOWWW!!!
      O...okay..

    • @theperson3739
      @theperson3739 Pƙed 4 lety +24

      "A"

    • @Voron_Aggrav
      @Voron_Aggrav Pƙed 4 lety +11

      yes I can as it is Baku

  • @NebulaDarkness
    @NebulaDarkness Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci +5

    Philology major here. You just explained (perfectly) in like 3 minutes what took my professors a few classes. Wow!

  • @Zestieee
    @Zestieee Pƙed rokem +14

    I can't imagine how complicated this could be to explain to someone (be it somebody who lived isolated their whole life, or some alien being) who doesn't understand communication as we do.
    All these implied things that we take for granted... I can't even wrap my mind about it.

    • @rayf6126
      @rayf6126 Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci +1

      Yes, the coneheads are an extremely good example of this. You must consume mass quantities of sustenance.

  • @Owiko7
    @Owiko7 Pƙed 4 lety +784

    "Can I ask you a question?"
    "yea? What is it!?"
    "It's an interrogative statement used to test someone's knowledge, but that's not important right now!"

    • @b.clarenc9517
      @b.clarenc9517 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      I love this one.

    • @OatmealTheCrazy
      @OatmealTheCrazy Pƙed 3 lety +17

      @mikea hiooi I used to do drugs.
      I still do, but I used to too

    • @HolyKhaaaaan
      @HolyKhaaaaan Pƙed 3 lety +7

      Surely you're joking right now.

    • @Owiko7
      @Owiko7 Pƙed 3 lety +10

      @@HolyKhaaaaan I'm not joking, and stop calling me Shirley! ;)

    • @IsomerMashups
      @IsomerMashups Pƙed 3 lety +2

      A solid 70% of my humour is this kind of thing.

  • @PentaPW
    @PentaPW Pƙed 3 lety +2523

    *Me:* "can I have a large Cola with no onion"
    *Drive thru employee:* "no onion?"
    *Me:* "that would be correct."

    • @lavodnas7899
      @lavodnas7899 Pƙed 3 lety +207

      "Can I have a burger with two buns?"
      "Two buns?"
      "Yes, that's how a burger is built, right?"

    • @70sman
      @70sman Pƙed 3 lety +147

      Boneless pizza

    • @pizzaschnoesel5896
      @pizzaschnoesel5896 Pƙed 3 lety +69

      I learned today not to drink water while reading comments, thanks

    • @---cr8nw
      @---cr8nw Pƙed 3 lety +7

      A Liter-a-Cola?

    • @thewanderinggamer1369
      @thewanderinggamer1369 Pƙed 3 lety +27

      Can I have a Metal Car with Wheels?

  • @richardsawyer5428
    @richardsawyer5428 Pƙed 2 lety +17

    "I didn't like xxxxx, he's dead now." Two statements of fact that are unrelated. Honest!

  • @nitefyre1653
    @nitefyre1653 Pƙed 2 lety +35

    I laughed way longer at asbestos free cereal than i should have

  • @pummisher1186
    @pummisher1186 Pƙed 4 lety +3951

    I used to think it would be funny to put "Now lead free!" stickers on random things in supermarkets.

    • @bennemann
      @bennemann Pƙed 4 lety +234

      The "Now" means the product had lead before, so just "lead free!" stickers would make more sense.

    • @pummisher1186
      @pummisher1186 Pƙed 4 lety +749

      @@bennemann THAT'S THE JOKE. It implies it previously had lead. It's precisely the joke I wanted to make.

    • @davidweihe6052
      @davidweihe6052 Pƙed 4 lety +293

      I had a co-worker who put comments in his code like, "Now, with the great taste of fish!"

    • @DustyyBoi
      @DustyyBoi Pƙed 3 lety +57

      @@bennemann that's the joke..............

    • @Asiliea
      @Asiliea Pƙed 3 lety +155

      @@davidweihe6052 As a fellow programmer, who's seen a few "here be dragons" comments, I would piss myself laughing for a solid 10minutes if I saw "Now with the great taste of fish!" in there

  • @KL-le8ge
    @KL-le8ge Pƙed 4 lety +3433

    "Would you like to participate in my survey?"
    "No"
    "Thank you for taking part in my survey!"
    am I doing this right

  • @Cookiekeks
    @Cookiekeks Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci +4

    I hate it when people disregard the maxim of relation. They ask you a question, you respond with your own detailed opinion, and they just gloss over it and talk about something entirely different.

  • @formaldehyde3864
    @formaldehyde3864 Pƙed 2 lety +18

    It seems to me that flouting Grice's maxisms are becoming an increasingly popular way of marketing. A lovely contribution to all the misinfornation and "alternative facts" floating about online.

  • @sarahlicity
    @sarahlicity Pƙed 4 lety +857

    My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

    • @Danzignan
      @Danzignan Pƙed 4 lety +53

      Underrated joke

    • @Xezlec
      @Xezlec Pƙed 4 lety +45

      I... I need this shirt

    • @rosyidharyadi7871
      @rosyidharyadi7871 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      I want this one. Where did you buy it?

    • @senselocke
      @senselocke Pƙed 4 lety +32

      Still, less so than your "No *longer* involved in human trafficking" t-shirt I assume.

    • @lenjaminbang
      @lenjaminbang Pƙed 4 lety

      lmao

  • @asylumskp4391
    @asylumskp4391 Pƙed 3 lety +1446

    "Have a good day"
    "Don't tell me what to do"

    • @RooobixCube
      @RooobixCube Pƙed 2 lety +107

      "Have a good day"
      "Make me"

    • @leecody5885
      @leecody5885 Pƙed 2 lety +15

      I remember my little brother saying that! 😂 😂

    • @Jif498
      @Jif498 Pƙed 2 lety +41

      This reminds me of
      "I beg your pardon?"
      "Then beg"

    • @Wubbazt
      @Wubbazt Pƙed 2 lety +2

      i actually say this fairly often to my friends

    • @Imadeavideos
      @Imadeavideos Pƙed 2 lety +2

      Drake and Josh anyone?

  • @gerarddip
    @gerarddip Pƙed 2 lety +16

    I really wanna see a short movie where all these maxims are constantly violated

    • @grmackenzie1856
      @grmackenzie1856 Pƙed rokem +4

      Try "A Touch of Cloth". It's a satirical detective show and the jokes, many of which are based on the maxims being at least disjointed, happen so blazingly fast that it's actually quite tiring to watch more than one episode at a time. It's also hilarious.

    • @gerarddip
      @gerarddip Pƙed rokem

      @@grmackenzie1856
      Thanks dude, gotta go check this out!

    • @justin.booth.
      @justin.booth. Pƙed rokem

      Foil arms and hog

  • @carlbutcher2268
    @carlbutcher2268 Pƙed 2 lety +15

    "The garage probably has petrol."
    Hello from 2021!

    • @Freeman4815
      @Freeman4815 Pƙed 2 lety

      Prepare for Mad Max reality, bro

    • @LRM12o8
      @LRM12o8 Pƙed 2 lety

      Only in "Great" Britain
      HA HA!

  • @potatoonastick2239
    @potatoonastick2239 Pƙed 4 lety +25983

    Me: "I'll have a big mac without strawberries please."
    McDonald's employee: "...strawberries?"
    Me: "No thanks."

    • @JillKewsNickelFackkot69420
      @JillKewsNickelFackkot69420 Pƙed 4 lety +1513

      H Y D R A T E D W A T E R

    • @jorgepeterbarton
      @jorgepeterbarton Pƙed 4 lety +726

      Me;
      I would like to use the toilet and buy a big mac without the big mac please.

    • @eoghan.5003
      @eoghan.5003 Pƙed 4 lety +1171

      "I'll have a big mac free of charge"
      "...free?"
      "Oh, that's great thanks!"

    • @LeahLuciB
      @LeahLuciB Pƙed 4 lety +178

      And I'll have a 6.99 tip.

    • @zsin128
      @zsin128 Pƙed 4 lety +57

      Potato on a stick I would eat that

  • @JayTohab
    @JayTohab Pƙed 4 lety +13756

    I sense that breaking these guidelines is the simplest form of comedy.

    • @jonathanapple4828
      @jonathanapple4828 Pƙed 3 lety +586

      Ever seen Airplane?

    • @darthvader2994
      @darthvader2994 Pƙed 3 lety +380

      @@jonathanapple4828 is that the stop calling me Shirley film?

    • @jonathanapple4828
      @jonathanapple4828 Pƙed 3 lety +88

      Darth Vader ye

    • @darthvader2994
      @darthvader2994 Pƙed 3 lety +81

      @@jonathanapple4828 then i have seen a small portion of it, i think it has the same guy who did some shows my dad liked and i very much liked my dad's humour so i will definitely see if i can find it :)

    • @azlizzie
      @azlizzie Pƙed 3 lety +297

      The funniest people do tend to be very witty and great at conversation. I’m so bad at all of it. I’m only funny on accident. 🙄

  • @Spacesnakes474
    @Spacesnakes474 Pƙed 6 měsĂ­ci +3

    Once I learned about Grice's Maxims as a linguistics students I was never able to look at the world the same. They really do SO much heavy lifting in conversation

  • @bertberw8653
    @bertberw8653 Pƙed rokem +4

    When I was like 11 at a family barbecue my aunt, assuming that I didn't want to sit at the kids table with the younger kids, said that I would be sitting with the grown ups outside at the grown ups table, to which I said:
    - I never said I wanted to sit with the grown ups.
    - Oh, ok, so you want to sit with the kids inside?
    - No.
    My 12 yo cousin thought it was the most genius thing he had ever heard.

  • @apocalipseleaguepl9248
    @apocalipseleaguepl9248 Pƙed 3 lety +8628

    Near my home there is a car wash with a giant banner saying “Using this car wash is 100% legal”. It's been there even before the pandemic. I am so concerned every time I see it.

    • @impact0r
      @impact0r Pƙed 3 lety +629

      Do legal operations concern you?

    • @CallenderMan
      @CallenderMan Pƙed 2 lety +680

      What's wrong with a 100% legal car wash?

    • @denisnewborn4700
      @denisnewborn4700 Pƙed 2 lety +906

      "Not laundering money for my methlab"

    • @devforfun5618
      @devforfun5618 Pƙed 2 lety +220

      to be fair, ilegal car washing is a problem where i live, you cant legaly use drinking water for that, but most places don't care they probably just bribe the cops to avoid getting sued

    • @thatpersonsmusic
      @thatpersonsmusic Pƙed 2 lety +285

      @@phillipternullo4720 you just need to poison the water before you wash the car

  • @higherquality
    @higherquality Pƙed 3 lety +748

    "I'm out of petrol"
    "I'm not"

  • @ChilledfishStick
    @ChilledfishStick Pƙed 2 lety +11

    It's extremely difficult for me to assess the amount of information that I'm supposed to give. Most of the time, people either can't follow what I'm saying, or think that there's a hidden reason for why I'm supplying unnecessary information. The most common assumption is that I'm nervous, and on the end of the spectrum, if I don't say much, I can appear stoic. Unless I'm being told, many times I can't even tell if I appear nervous or completely devoid of emotion.
    Hidden rules in language are the bane of my existence. I constantly need to rely on others to help me with this problem.

    • @hdr_diamondz
      @hdr_diamondz Pƙed 2 lety

      But the thing is you gave the right amount of info this time

  • @TheOriginalElkstone
    @TheOriginalElkstone Pƙed 2 lety +12

    As someone on the spectrum this is surprisingly easy to follow, even if not to abide to

  • @samconcklin
    @samconcklin Pƙed 3 lety +854

    This explains why adding "no offense" to the beginning of any sentence makes it more offensive.
    "No offense, but your jeans are blue."
    "What?"
    "What?"

    • @quinn7894
      @quinn7894 Pƙed 2 lety +76

      Also, adding "I expect you to say no" to the beginning of a yes or no question encourages the listener to say yes.

    • @Otakupatriot117
      @Otakupatriot117 Pƙed 2 lety +81

      Not to mention the fact it can offend someone by implying they're easily offended, thus causing them to be offended very easily.

    • @chriss2122
      @chriss2122 Pƙed 2 lety +39

      I love doing that. I'll often Start a sentence with "No offence" and then go on to say something really innocuous. Really confuses them.

    • @Jay-we2ek
      @Jay-we2ek Pƙed 2 lety +25

      This annoys me. Because half the time it follows with something really offensive. Other half of the time it's something I'd never ever ever be offended by.

    • @IqmalAziz
      @IqmalAziz Pƙed 2 lety

      Fanchen said no offense and ended up making people feel offended. Proven.

  • @Windy2468
    @Windy2468 Pƙed 3 lety +654

    "That road is safe" > 👍
    "You'll make it through alive" > đŸ€”

  • @deadneck13
    @deadneck13 Pƙed 2 lety +5

    In watching this video, I realized that flouting these maxims is one of the most common things I do in everyday speech. Thanks, Tom!

  • @michaelbujaki2462
    @michaelbujaki2462 Pƙed 2 lety +9

    This reminds me of the "whole grain popcorn" I saw at the grocer's a few years back, which was more expensive than the regular popcorn.

  • @elijahculper5522
    @elijahculper5522 Pƙed 3 lety +2533

    Starbucks guy: “What’s your name?”
    Bryan: “Bryan, with a ‘Y.’”
    Name on cup: Yrian

  • @s.monica1682
    @s.monica1682 Pƙed 3 lety +1074

    This is the most hilarious comment section I've ever seen.
    I came back to this video once more just to read the comments.

    • @Exayevie
      @Exayevie Pƙed 3 lety +22

      The comments section is filling my need for this video to be twice as along as it is

    • @Vitorruy1
      @Vitorruy1 Pƙed 3 lety +11

      Dad joke factory

    • @OrigamiMarie
      @OrigamiMarie Pƙed 3 lety +6

      It's a party in here, I like it :)

    • @JaharNarishma
      @JaharNarishma Pƙed 2 lety +2

      I didn't poison my friends drink yesterday.

    • @YodaWhat
      @YodaWhat Pƙed 2 lety

      It is barely punny, too!

  • @tonyadair0754
    @tonyadair0754 Pƙed rokem +7

    This video about language with the human being Tom Scott is quite the video. It contains many thought-out statements and isn't infected with a virus.