Therapist Reacts to BARBIE
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- čas přidán 19. 10. 2023
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How do you figure out who you want to be?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker, filmmaker Alan Seawright, and producer Megan Seawright are talking about Greta Gerwig’s Barbie and the journey of self-discovery. They take a look at Barbie's literal hero's journey and how she discovers who she wants to be and how she helps Ken do the same. Megan speaks to the powerful effect this movie had and why it's so important for a movie to be by women, about women, and for women. Jonathan touches on the psychology of going through an existential crisis, trying to figure out who you are, and how women struggle with societal expectations. Alan talks about the production and costume design that make Barbieland look flawless, and he is in awe of how perfect Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie are!
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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Can you guys do the boxtrolls please
As a 22 yr old man, I can also vouch for enjoying Barbie for its social commentary. At least to me, I found this movie to be a great critique of misogyny and misandry (i.e. the starting point and the midpoint of the film) while simultaneously providing a message about self-discovery for the individual, regardless of gender.
What a fun time at the theaters 😊
Hero with 1000 outfits!
I love your analysis as always! As a Star Wars fan, if you can, could you please do one for Ahsoka from her namesake series, especially the scene where she meets Anakin in the World Between Worlds? I would adore your analysis on it! Ahsoka is stuck in a slump where she has a hard time moving on from the skeletons in her closet from the Clone Wars and the Empire. She is only existing, but not living, so her old Master used some tough love exposure therapy to remind his old padawan how she can emerge stronger by confronting and overcoming her inner demons. Thank you!
I love that Barbie's clothes get less pink and more grounded the more time she spends in the real world, culminating in her wearing a yellow dress when she decides to become human. Also, Sasha starts out in all black, but ends up wearing more pink as the film progresses.
She doesn’t experience anything real cuz the real world doesn’t act the way people acted in the movie, she barely grew
@@ninjanibba4259fix your grammar dude no one can understand that😂
Great points @trinaq! Haven't seen ya in awhile. You been okay?
@@jodypope7083 he's saying Barbie didn't REALLY experience what the human experience is like, because the way the "real world" was depicted in the movie isn't accurate to how reality is.
@@jodypope7083 you can’t read?
As a young man, my two chief takeaways from Barbie were “I should make my Mom feel loved more” and “I am Kenough”.
YOU ARE KENOUGH! and yes, call your mom
Yes agree I'm just ken was the main takeaway I took from it
Which is exactly the type of takeaways one should take from this movie, thank you.
if the 'hero' in the title is anyone other than Ken, I ain't interested in the vid
I learned horses are cool and that I need a mojo dojo casa house
“Talk to a woman and ask her if it spoke to her and why. And just listen, just listen and learn.” The way Jono said that gave me literal chills.
If you're a millennial man or younger, society has never stopped forcing you to listen to women all your life
@@deleted01buddy, who is holding you at gunpoint and forcing you to listen to women? You've been ASKED to listen a million times, but a lot of men still don't
@@deleted01who hurt you? :c
the feminist establishment :3 @@xmiunax4385
@@deleted01Did you watch this video?? 😂
The scene of Barbie crying because she "isn't pretty" is something every single girl has said to them time and time again since they were pre-teens. There is SO much pressure on us to be beautiful, and when we don't meet the internalized expectations, we feel so revolting inside and out that it is crushing. It seems to superficial, but its so deep.
this might be why we feel jealous of/competitive towards other girls/women and view others as a threat
@@oooh19 Mary Wollstonecraft, one of the earliest feminists who lived during the time of the French Revolution, reflected on and analysed this women-against-women phenomenon in her essay "A Vindication of the Rights of Women". It was highly controversial as she challenged and scathed women as much as men for perpetuating inequality.
As counter-intuitive as it seems, the author appeals to men at least as much as to women to show how a change of gender education and gender norms towards equality can benefit men as well as women.
It's roughly two-hundred years old, but sadly much of it still holds some truth today; even more so for men who today still exclude or negate female experience and perspectives.
Ironically, men - in a very comparable way - perpetuate a lot of toxicity towards themselves and each other - they aren't that different to women in this respect.
Yeah. I felt chubby for a long time. Never liked how I looked in the mirror or photos. But I’m much chubbier now, two kids and in my middle age will do that. But looking back at photos I used to hate I’m going, why were you so insecure about that? You looked fine. I’m way more likely to wear skin tight clothing now cause it’s more convenient for pumping/breastfeeding given the neckline. And if someone has a problem with it, that’s their problem
@@Nevertoleave I love the lines from "The Sunscreen Speech" by Mary Schmich, "In twenty years from now, you'll look back on photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp right now, how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked." and, "Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly."
On her advice, I stopped reading beauty magazines. I didn't feel ugly reading them, but I sometimes felt I was missing out because I didn't keep up with trendy makeup & nail polish. So screw beauty magazines, I'm going to do me (classic style, not trendy) and I've never looked back. 🙌🏻
Society sucks
i think the misdirect of barbie having to meet gloria instead of sasha was very impactful because even us daughters forget that our moms were also young girls who had to go through what we are going through if not worse.
I think it was also really meaningful because the movie's right about pointing out that Barbie these days aren't really 'in fashion' with little girls, and Barbie tends to have a lot more meaning to grown women who DID grow up with them and who DO grapple a lot with warring ideas of what Barbie represents and what they themselves are 'supposed' to be as women. It was an acknowledgement of how Barbie is actually in modern culture, rather than how Mattel wants it to be.
@@Julia-zv8tv I heard the decision to really focus on "feminism" and more so the women's experience in this movie was from Greta herself pointing out what Barbie means to people nowadays; that some of the negative things Barbie represents in some people's minds are something that Mattel will have to confront with this movie.
"We mothers stand still so that our daughters can look back and see how far they've come." So many great lines are sprinkled throughout the movie that are all so deep and thought-provoking. Greta is truly one the best writer directors we have today 🥺
Yes, I remember being in middle school and truly understanding that my parents are people, too. Not just parents or their job titles (in my school I remember parents' careers were a big deal and if your parent didn't have a great job it reflected about who you will become) and I learned to love and respect their views even tough I didn't always agree. I knew their experiences and their hardship, their pain and joy. I learned how to exercise my empathy a lot more and I'm a better person for it.
@@jimmylu1352yeah that line made me burst in tears. We should be more grateful to our moms
What I love about the "I'm not pretty" line is that she has never seen herself in a functioning mirror. Mirrors in Barbieland don't have glass (as we see in the opening). When another Barbie calls her beautiful, she responds with "I feel beautiful." In this later moment, she know longer feels beautiful, even though her physical features haven't changed.
Extremely good observation.
Ooh, that’s deep!
Ohhh I didn't think about that... excellent observation!!!
Wow, I never noticed those details. Thanks.
Goddammit…this movie may be Feminism 101 for Dummies but daannggggg this is another of those bullet points that makes it deeper than most realize ❤️
I love that allan is such a low key guy in a world of kens and hes like 'oh ok...murdering has to be done' and does not even hesitate. I love the little nod to quietly confident people getting it done when needed. He's just this gorgeous little introvert in a group of extroverts.
He also knows himself unlike Ken
@casx21able that's true he's just happily Allan.
Beware the quiet ones. We're always planning something. Usually good things!
I love Allan so much!!! ❤
And if he sits on one more leather couch his spirit will break
Interestingly one thing I took away from this movie that isn't really talked about that much is Ken learning how to love himself without Barbie. The whole thing about "Kenough" is that no one NEEDS to be in a relationship to be fulfilled as a person. Each and every person is capable of doing great on their own, and a relationship should be something you want to have in your life without needing it to feel complete.
And that is such a great message to take away for boys.
Not only for them, of course, but maybe especially for them as society often makes it look as if in order to be a "true" man you need a woman (or an armada of women) constantly by your side - or even a woman to "save you" from self-doubt in a highly competitive masculine sphere.
Both of which is not healthy at all, but rather toxic an expectation. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The message "you are (k)enough" is one that boys rarely get to hear, except from maybe their mothers.
It is something that (not only, but mostly) men have yet to learn how important it is for boys to hear and internalize.
I also agree with this. I do believe Ken does need to love himself. Although it's okay if you want to build your life with someone and start a family which is a more healthier way to look at it. Instead of wanting to be in a partnership for validation only.
Yes! Barbie finds herself but at the end we get to see her tell him to love and find himself! I loved that!
I just realized in watching that clip again, that the scene is another aspect of reversing the 'real world' and 'barbie world' to shine a light on the point that none of us exist solely in the context of those with whom we are in relationships. But it can be so hard to see ourselves sometimes as not part of a duo. Part of a joint entity. How we can lose ourselves to that joint entity. And how it can impact one or the other in the partnership more than the other. Looking back how many letters were addressed to Mr & Mrs Last Name - completely removing the identity of the Mrs? And how many times should it have been Mr. and Dr. Last Name - but isn't? How many of my friends had conversations about whether to take their husbands last name, and what would that mean for their careers if they had already made some strides into management or success? Was it good to have one family last name for the children, but bad for their careers to have to switch names mid-stream? Were they only Mrs. So and so now, and not Dr or Ms. someone else who had existed before their marriage and children? How to balance? How to be sometimes Barbie and Ken other times just Barbie OR just Ken?
@@m.kategallagher1637 yes, thise are great points. Also the insistence of Ken, that he is only there for and because of Barbie mirrors the old beliefs that women where told about themselves, like "made from Adams rip to be his companion". And it was no so long ago, that society would not let you function as a woman on your own, without a man at your side and still isn't in many parts of the world, regarding education, opening a bank account, getting a good job, etc.
I actually loved that this movie has Margot Robbie as Barbie saying and feeling that she wasn't beautiful enough.
That feeling of inadequacy isn't limited to only certain women, it is pretty universal. It's like learning that a young Julie Andrews didn't think she'd have a career because she didn't have the talent (true story). It helped me to realize that if people who I think are obviously beautiful and obviously wonderfully talented don't feel like they're enough, then maybe my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity are absolutely unwarranted too.
Great point
I think it’s more the fact that women are gaslight by men who neg them to feel this way
Thank you for this
i wish someone had been there to tell me these things when i was a kid. now i'm so entrenched in my own self-deprecation i don't even know who i am without it.
Especially seeing almost all young celebrities keep getting surgeries and fillers, when they were already naturally beautiful. But for some reason they felt the need to change their faces to the point there's no longer anything unique. It's really sad.
Gloria's speech to Barbie "You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough." is literally verbatim what my mother said to me when I had my first bout of depression (unknowing at the time) of my place in the world. Hearing it on the big screen- FROM AMERICA FERRERA- reduced me to tears, suddenly thrown back to that moment of Not Good Enough, realizing how universal it was. My mother not remembering saying it to me but resonating with the speech, from Barbie's perspective, when I told her after... The world needs more hugs and this movie is step in that direction
It was so much a mom talking to her daughter. Barbie became Gloria’s other daughter in that moment.
America Ferrera was my third reason for being so excited to see this movie. Margot Robbie - what a companion to the Harley Quinn movie! - the trailer, heaven have mercy!, and you said AMERICA FERRERA? And then Rhea Perlman, looking AMAZING and *being* amazing. Dear lord, there's so much here.
the world also needs more mothers like yours :")
See and my mother never said that to me. She barely acknowledged my existence so it made my feelings of self-hate and self-doubt feel singular, like I was the only one suffering in the world. I think we just need to tell each other that you and me are enough, even if we don’t know each other.
That literally made me cry, I hope you’re doing better now and taking care of yourself, you deserve it ❤
The scenes in the park bench where Barbie observes people just existing in all of their aspects (joy, pain, young, old) and the scene where Ruth shows her the montage of life as a human hit me HARD.
I have struggled with suicidal ideation in the past and seeing the joy Barbie gets from seeing life just happening around her really makes me realize I'm here and alive because life is messy and painful and complicated but still so much better than just not being.
I feel similarly about that scene. any reason to stay is a good one and I'm really proud of you for being here still
I hope you continue to hold onto this - I know it’s hard to remember at times, but I’m so glad you saw it!
Yes, I agree ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Proud of you for sticking around, I promise that the world is better for you being in it ❤ even if you hold the door open for one random person you have made an impact on their day, you and your existence has meaning and worth ❤
I’ve also experienced suicidal ideation, and I feel that. That scene gave me this little hitting thought of I’m alive, I’m here and I’m alive. It was beautiful filmmaking
I did the whole Barbenheimer thing alone. I saw Barbie 2nd because I knew it would be a nice come down after Oppenheimer, but I was amazed at just how good Barbie was. As a 40 year old man, I have never experienced the things discussed in the movie but I was reduced to tears multiple times. Greta Gerwing, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling made something special. I'm just sad that a section of people refused to watch it and instead made up lies to push their agendas.
I'm so glad you were so moved by this movie as well. As a woman, I forget that other people DON'T experience the things discussed in the movie... thank you for your compassionate comment.
apparently the existence of women is too political and my only response to that is the founding fathers shouldnt have invented them if thats the case :/
I'm sadly not surprised some people refused to engage with this movie because they are so, unbelievably thin-skinned that a movie that acknowledges what it is still like to be a woman threatens them. They were triggered by just that and they are cowards who wouldn't know bravery or courage or emotional maturity if it paraded up and down in front of them in Barbie's rollerblading outfit
i watched it with my gf and her mom who’ve both experienced gender based violence from their partners and past friends or even complete strangers. watching this movie together made us feel a lil bit better about ourselves
I’m glad it moved you that much. I never cried during the THREE times I saw it (got close though; never would’ve expected that from a Barbie film), but it definitely moved me in similar ways it did for you. One of my favorite films of the year
America Ferrera's speech really struck me very hard as a guy because it is a lot of the things my mom has admitted to dealing with all the time. She's a very well-accomplished diplomat, has been able to work to a high position, travelled across the world, dealt with a lot of ego's which always show up with diplomats and ambassadors. And all this while she was dealing with a husband who was very narcissistic, abusive, insecure, and needed to feel in-power at home, even though he depended on my mom for the money and doing everything. All the plate-spinning she had to do, appearances she had to keep up. I mean when she had children immediately people began questioning her for working rather than being at home with them.
The amount of guys who hated this film, who sat through this whole movie and couldn't even fathom being even slightly sympathetic to it and just claimed it was woke bullshit is insane, but predictable. Idk its weird to imagine how those guys have sisters and mothers yet can't muster up any empathy watching the movie. I mean I hear a lot of women saying this movie didn't even go that far, and was actually quite socially conservative.
Her speech was the best attempt at communicating those ideas I have ever seen. I truly felt her pain and it was significant to me. There have been other movies and shows in the last 10 years that were written by those who experienced bitter, unfulfilled relationships and the conclusion was men are the main problem, rather blunt and antagonistic. Gerwig on the other hand says they are part of the problem among many other things and not even always in the top 5. The effect brings men into the conversation without alienating them and provides fertile ground for learning. I respect her approaching this issue using a scalpel when others before her used a sledgehammer.
@@spicymemes7458, yeah because like a lot of things, even if it was just men, that includes the men who helped make men that way who have been dead for thousands of years
It's so nice to see some guys actually understanding the point of the message. Thank you
@@spicymemes7458I know what you mean
Thank you for this comment, seriously. We need more men who think/feel like this!!
Watching all my friends’ boyfriends react to Barbie was super interesting. I truly believe if a man likes the Barbie movie it is a HUGE green flag
YES 💚
And if he doesn’t, he gets a breakup from toxic women
I say that’s a turquoise flag
@@ninjanibba4259 I've seen you here a few times, and I hope the rest of your day goes better than it has so far.
the issue is a lot of dudes watch this film and then claim the only good part was Ken, and then somehow watched this 2 hour fucking film and learned nothing except than Ken is aspirational, justified and cool (that last part is true though).
@@GuineaPigEverydayexactly
As member of IATSE I had the privilege of attending a screening of Barbie where the post-production did a Q&A. Someone asked where that montage of women from the end came from.
They said the videos came from the post team and other members of the crew! They're the actual home videos of the women in their lives. It's so personal and beautiful I tear up thinking about it!
I've herd of that before watching the movie and it made me cry sooo much when I did
Love that personal touch, it gets more real to the audience by adding memories from people in real life. It feels just like anyone's family members and friends or themselves, and that's exactly it.
I wondered if they were real old videos of real people or if they had just made an incredible job at making those scenes look real and old :o
Speaking as a man, what I loved most about Barbie and incidentally what I also love about feminism is how compassionate and caring they are toward men. There's this huge misconception that if something is pro-women then it's anti-men, like it's some kind of zero sum game. At the same time it bothers me that men's issues and men's mental health so often rely on women to talk about them and that women take on that burden when most men are either unwilling or just incapable. I've seen so many women in my life carry the burden of not only having to have their own life figured out and their own sense of stability, but they also get left with the burden of carrying the emotional load of their fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons because so much of the "culture" of masculinity actively discourages self-reflection and self-actualization. It may get depicted in a mostly silly and lighthearted way, but there's A LOT of understanding and compassion for men in this film. The line Hellen Mirren says near the beginning "Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him", while played as a joke, speaks deeply to a lot of the gendered standards men hold themselves to and the pain it causes them, especially in how much value is placed on men for being desirable to women and how much shame comes with not being desirable to women (this is the entire foundation of incel and nice guy psychology). If you identified with the male characters in Barbie, I highly highly recommend the book "For the Love of Men" by Liz Plank. I agree with Alan's challenge, sit back and listen to the women in your life who resonated with this film, *and* get even further ahead of the curve by dissecting and understanding your own masculinity and how it affects you and the people around you. Even if you feel "enlightened" as a man, I promise you that Patriarchy and toxic masculinity are so deeply baked into the fabric of our society that they affect you in ways you never realized.
Thank you for your thoughts and the recommendation! I’m a woman but I’m going to add it to my reading list
Ok ngl when I watched the part about "Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him" I took it as a satirical reversal of the role of women in a lot of fiction I've seen since there are many female characters that only exists as a shallow love interest. But I didn't think about the fact guys have that pressure in real life with things like their height or muscles and stuff, so yeah thanks for adding this comment
@@kamille286honestly, I think it's a bit of both. Using it as a joke line is a great way to plant the idea without it becoming a Barbie movie about male empowerment and liberation
women define themselves by men as well or want to be desirable. that's a human thing. but yea i hear ya men have toxic standards/norms. society is a mess we all should meet halfway
You expressed better than I ever could how I have been feeling half my life as a man in his forties. So many aspects of the patriarchy screwing boys' lives as well seem to be invisible to my fellow men: That societal pressure towards locking oneself up emotionally in an iron maiden type armour of perceived masculinity. That tendency to measure human value on a social scale by attracting as many women as possible as trophies to collect rather than building even a single bond (or more) on mutual understanding and human connection by empathy. That neurotic concern for competition and invulnerability rather than mutual support and solidarity and trust between men. It simply isn't healthy, it's self-alienating, divisive, emotionally empty, loneliness inducing, putting up robotic standards which no human being can live up to without becoming cynical and jaded and hurting. Unfortunately, there is no men's movement addressing these issues in a constructive, emancipative, healing, non-competitive, non-toxic manner.
I went to the cinema alone to watch Barbie and I was so close to crying during the scene where Barbie hears the speech about being a woman. As a young, barely adult man, I’ve been learning more and more about the struggles that women go through in our society, and that was the speech that single handedly opened my eyes to the pain, confusion, and utter bs that women have to go through everyday. I won’t claim to understand it all, but what I will do is be more understanding when a woman tells me she’s having a hard time, and I will do my best to help, especially if it’s a close friend, or family member.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you, and don't ever forget that you are Kenough!
you are kenough
And please if you can try your best to bring your peers and those younger than you that you might be a role model to, either in your family, class, or work place, to where you are. Certain individuals stand to profit off of radicalizing young men against women as if the old school dogma is the only way to be or the correct way to be when it really only spreads pain and hate.
@@intense79nick That dogma is something I am actively against, any time any of my friends or family (or even strangers at times) share that kind of view I intervene and explain to them calmly, "Well, have you thought about it like this?" And the wonderful thing is that most of them aren't actually hateful in their core, it's just that they've been exposed to those horrendous views. It's a shame that such views still persist in the modern day, but I try to do my duty and help younger men understand that that shouldn't be the way they approach their interactions with women, or anyone for that matter.
I actually really loved that Margot said "I'm not pretty anymore," as ridiculous as it sounds to 99.9% of people. Because, when the movie came out, there were some people having the audacity and wrongness to say she was "mid" and "too old to play Barbie."
Those people perfectly made the movie's point for it!!!!! Even though it's doubtful any of them watched it. That, there is no way to "win" and everyone will always have negativity to spew, even if you are literally one of the most beautiful women on the planet, they will try to tear you down...
and as a beautiful women, you can feel ugly. doesnt matter how beautiful you are in today’s standards or for other people. if you feel ugly, you dont care if youre truly are or not.
Agreed. I like that they pointed out how silly it can sound for someone like her to say that. But gorgeous women can feel insecure too, intelligent women can feel stupid (I've sadly seen this happen a lot). That's the thing about insecurities, you'll never be good enough to beat them. You have to face them.
I think that's interesting considering that people have also said that Ryan wasn't perfect or is too old to play Ken as well. Even if you're considered to be one of the most beautiful men on the planet; yeah, just like how you said it,"there is no way to win." There's always going to be negative people in the world. That one is just what I wanted to paraphrase; I hope that's alright. There's so much negativity & miscommunication online due to lack of overall tone in text.
I'm sure she is fine and can always go crying to a pile of money
The line where Ruth says "we mothers stand still so our daughter can look back to see how far they've come" made me sob. My mom passed 2 months ago, right before my 18th birthday. She was the most supportive, sincere, and compassionate person I've ever known, and she gave me the tools and confidence to pursue my dreams. She will never get the chance to see me grow and achieve my goals, but I will always look back and see how far I've gone because of her.
Oh, I am so so so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing, and may you always know how proud of you she'd be.
I'm so sorry. You're wonderful and I hope your mom is alright. resting in peace 🫂 have a blessed day🙏🏾💞 Jesus loves you❤
The whole contradicting expectations thing reminds me of that line from Mean Girls, where Regina calls Kadie "pretty". And she didn't outright deny it or try to downplay it, she simply said "Thanks" but that's seen as unacceptable. Hence why Regina says, "So you agree?" "What?" "You think that you're pretty." the way Regina says that, like how *DARE* Kadie have confidence in herself and how she looks. How *DARE* she not see herself as this hideous thing that will never be good enough. We're expected to take *care* of our looks, so we look pretty to others, but we can never take *pride* or have *confidence* in our looks cuz then we're "stuck up" or "full of ourselves".
great point! those mind games/manipulation girls learn very early
@@oooh19 that's another way to keep a group down. Have them turn on each other. Like self-monitoring.
I love the timing of the "Now feel" line. Because they then play a song and show clips that make the vast majority of the audience cry every time. Greta is such a good director that she can time the moment you're going to feel something that well.
just thinking about the scene makes me tear up because its so beautifully written.
I sobbed like a BABY in the theatre 🥲
This scene gets me EVERY time omfg 😭
I havent even watched the movie yet, but that clip came on right here and I started tearing up just from the acting and the musical score being so on point
And huge props to Billie Eilish's performance too. I still can't listen to the song without getting introspective, and if I start singing it absentmindedly there's a 50% chance I'll start getting choked up.
As a man, I loved Ken's breakdown not just because of how funny it is, but for what it tells us. "You're not your girlfriend. You're not your house. You're not your mink. You're not even your job (beach!)." It perfectly mirrored the whole speech about expectations placed on women, and placed it at men's feet as well. It shows that, while the specific challenges differ, we're all just people trying to become our best selves despite what society tells us to be. As pointed out in the video, it's something Barbie realized about herself as she said it.
It resonated with me so much because of something I've personally experienced. When I made the decision to go into teaching after my physics degree, I got all sorts of passive aggressive comments - mainly from other physics guys - about how it doesn't pay much and it's a dead end job and it's a waste of my degree and whatever, even one about how teaching is a "woman's job"... It really wore me down and made me doubt myself and my decision. Still sticking with it and almost a fully licensed teacher now.
there's plenty of male teachers and I'm sure you'll have a lot to offer students! teachers regardless of gender need to be intelligent, fair, kind, understanding, patient, etc
@@oooh19 Yeah, the "women's job" one wasn't the one that got me at all, it's just a dumb quote by a bigot I thought I'd throw in there because it's relevant to the Barbie movie.
The other ones, though? If you repeatedly hear people say that your decision is a waste then it'll get to you eventually no matter how much conviction you have. In a way it's just emblematic of our society placing financial value above all else, though.
You're incredible and amazing. You are doing more for society and your community than the other physics guys.
@@thegamesforreal1673 The world needs teachers, especially ones who take pride in the job. The world also needs to pay their teachers better. It's not a dead end job, the world MAKES it a dead in job. It should be a position that one would wear with pride due to just how IMPORTANT it is. You are someone that a young person will see almost every single day of their lives for years and years to come. You get the beautiful, unique position of being a part of a young person's foundation and that is far more impactful that being a physics job could ever be. Thank you for what you do.
@@carlafuqua1685 I've gotten into the habit of saying the following when anyone questions my choice: "If I can instill the same enthusiasm I have for the subject into just two of my students, then I will have done more for the progress of technology and science than I ever could have on my own."
Shuts them up quick.
I started sobbing during the Supreme Court scene where one of the Barbies says she can have a valid argument while holding space for her emotions. Did not stop crying until the credits rolled around. It was a very healing experience, even though my mother was looking at me like I was an insane person during most of it.
Ironically feminist writers who talk issues unique to women never asked men about their problems .
@@user-xm7nq8vc9c men have historically never asked women about their problems . Why is it that women have the obligation to not only fight for their own issues, but to take on men’s issues too? (Btw most women do acknowledge that men have issues too, but life is too short, so we must pick a struggle and direct our efforts)
I felt this scene too!! ❤
@@CarolinaSilva-rd3ys you also think the police started as slave catchers and. Walls were made unless after invention of ladders and . Boarder patrol was started by the KKK and slavery was invented in Europe. And the poster child for hating witches used the witch craft of germ warfare against the native Americans without even using those beaked to not inhale he small pox vapors themselves when handling those cursed blankets . Real history is for conspiracy theorist
@@CarolinaSilva-rd3ys why was Emmett till murder how would know . About history. And if the writers want say it's unique to them they should be obligated to know what talking about. Witch way you such poor understand in history I guess bin to college
As a woman who struggles with depression the final scene of Barbie self actualizing made me cry. It made me realize how beautiful it is to be me and with all the sorrow I feel, there will always be joy.
❤❤❤ same for me friend
I've grown up in a very misogynistic environment. My big brother was the one that told me at 11 that I needed to clean all the house alone because "you are a female, it comes natural to you". He was already 18 at that time. Now I went no contact with him. What really broke my heart is that even my mom didn't stood for me. Being a female in my house simply meant that we worth less. I'm 34 now and it still hurt, tbh, to be seen in that way. I don't even write how many comments I have received even on my body, which was clearly changing at the time. I felt like I had to shave my legs because my brother said they were hairy and it was disgusting for a woman (I was around 12 or 13). I couldn't even eat without my brothers (I have two) pointing out that I needed to watch my weight. And all the nasty comments I heard about other beautiful women in TV when I was still a child. This movie deeply talked to me, especially Gloria's speech. I wish that every little girl and every woman can feel worthy within herself, not like they have to constantly prove to be enough
Yeah so naturally you had to be told to do it 🙄 glad you have nothing to do with him anymore
Comments like this drive home how I felt about Gloria’s speech: as a dude who hasn’t lived this experience (other than also feeling like I need to change myself to please people), at first the speech felt almost too on-the-nose. I grew up in a home where thankfully the ladies didn’t get talked to demeaningly, as far as I’m AWARE. But the whole point for me is that I can read comments like this to understand how different things have been for other people. Including even people in the same family. I need to keep listening and learning.
I wish you healing and love.
I am so sorry love! I hope this movie brought you catharsis and understanding! ❤
@@melissam597 💗 me too
The moment I felt most seen and validated by this movie was “I’ll play guitar at you for four hours.” Every relationship I’ve been in, the guy treated me like an audience. He wanted my thoughts and opinions . . . about his work, his shows, his hobbies, his ideas. I was only valuable for my ability to reflect what he liked about himself.
I say “he” but it was so many of them, over and over again.
EDIT TO CLARIFY: he* wanted to share his interests with me, he had no interest in sharing mine. My work was dismissed as a hobby, my hobbies were dismissed as a waste of time and resources, my shows weren’t engaging, and my ideas were never as valuable as his.
Wanting to share your interests with your significant other is good. Expecting that dynamic to only go one way is bad.
* generalized he
Now you know what us men feel like when she asks about her outfits and make ups
@@M.Evra91andddd you somehow missed the point of the movie. Typical men.
Snap snap snap snap
@@noname-cv8kp I get the point of the movie. All I am saying is, women are guilty of all those things you pointed.
@@M.Evra91 Okay. Let me unpack this for you. When a woman asks about her outfit and make-up, she is asking if you think she's pretty. She's asking if she is dressing and behaving in a way you find attractive and socially acceptable. She is seeking your approval. When a certain type of man plays guitar at you for four hours, he is assuming your approval ahead of time. Otherwise he'd ask if the girl was interested in hearing a song, then he'd ask to hear hers next, showing genuine interest in her opinions and likes, rather than using her as an audience.
As a trans man, this movie affected me in both way. Because of the time I was perceived as a woman I could relate to that expirence on a deep level, and I also related to Ken as he was trying his best to be the perfect man and saw anything less as failure. This movie hit me hard. And I believe it spoke to a lot of people from different walks of life. No matter the gender.
Big same! I'm a trans guy too and I really enjoyed this movie 😊
I'm a trans female who went to see this with my cis girlfriend. It was a lovely time in the relating to the experience. Talking about it, and laughing or crying.
Fellow trans guy! The line at the end where Barbie goes through the self-actualization of saying "It's not something that I have to ask for or want? It's just something that I discover that I am?" had me in utter tears. The weight of beating ourselves up with feeling like we have to ASK to be our identities or WANT it... it's so stressful... but no. We just... discover that we ARE. We never had to ask. We never had to want it... we just were. Something about that was so... relieving to hear. We don't have to prove that or ask for it or want it... we just are, everyone's expectations of what that is be damned.
@@NonsensicalTrickster I never thought of those lines from a trans perspective, but that is such a beautiful context for them as well. This movie really is for everyone
I love that through the film, the more depressed Barbie is, the less "real" she acts, becoming rigid and doll-like in her movements. This movie is so layered. I love it.
Due to the superb acting and memorable score, the bench scene is one of my favorite movie moments of 2023. The setting demonstrates an empathetic perspective on men's and women's struggles without having Barbie dismiss either side. Not every great character needs to lift a sword to be strong. Barbie's greatest strength is her compassion, matched with Margot Robbie's genuine sincerity, which makes her a great character.
That scene elevated the already great movie so much! Can't believe they wanted to cut it.
@@Colopty Wow, I didn't know that.
Thank you for being one of my favorite channels of all time. On hard days, due to my autism, I like hearing things that I've heard before because they're familiar, and I keep a comfort playlist of videos I can quote near verbatim. Thrown into the mix I tend to come back here and rewatch a lot of them because hearing you guys speak about these concepts is very calming for me, and I find myself cementing these concepts in my mind more and more. Thank you for being the best internet dads.
We're so happy to be part of your comfort playlist. Thanks for watching! 😊
I might not be able to quote my videos word for word, but for the rest: same
I relate I can quote the entire Zootopia movie for this reason
I’m neurodivergent as well :D I’ve downloaded at least 4 CT videos that I play every night to fall asleep because of the comfort of their familiarity :) wishing you the best vibes! 💘
Me too!!!!
“Maybe you can’t make it perfect, but you can make it better”
That line struck me hard. I know I can’t heal perfectly, but I can still make it better.
My favourite line in the film is 'we mothers stand still so our daughter can look back to see how far they've come.'
I nearly burst into tears in the sold out theater. I have a really strained relationship with my mother.
Me too! Tore me apart, which was crazy because I love my mother more than anything, but I’m just another person to her.
@@starrymagics that really sucks. I'm sorry she treats you that way.
I think my mom loves me. But it's more of a because you are my child, not because of who you are.
But I also haven't talked to her about her feelings. As the victim of her abuse, that's a level of detachment and empathy I'd never be able to achieve.
i felt the exact same way, even though things were never easy between my mother and I, i would never be where I am without her. Sometime this bittersweet feeling is really hard to bear.
I had to go no contact with my parents for a lot of reasons. My mom was still very abusive but tried hard to do better than her mom and did, and that line hit hard.
My mom and I held hands after that line.
I'm a man, and this movie still spoke to me. Because damn do the intrusive thoughts of death, ceaseless anxiety, and never-ending financial problems constantly send me into a spiral of exhausting depression on a daily basis.
Truth! And struggling in any of those areas is “failing” to be a real man. And it shouldn’t be
I'm sorry you are struggling. Thoughts of death, chronic anxiety, financial stuff its all so overwhelming. In top of that is the expectation to be able to handle it all on your own. I hope you have people to reach out to for support. You don't have to carry it all alone. ❤
That's hard. Good luck!
I love that you can share that so openly. It's brave, especially with all the social expectations that men must be stoic instead of human. You are human and you are enough. I'm rooting for you, I'm proud of you, and I hope you take care of yourself.
That's kind of the unintended beauty of this movie. I feel like though gender makes you more likely to experience some things a certain way, a lot of our base struggles are androgynous.
I (lawyer, single mom in her 50s) broke down over the speech. The only other person in the show was a 60s woman. I stopped her in the parking lot to ask her what she thought about the movie because I *had to talk to someone about it*. Being raised by the silent generation in the 70s/80s, starting my career in a male-dominated field, being a young single woman in the 90s and 00s….Gloria’s speech put into words *so much* of what I’ve experienced and just accepted. It was actually jarring for me, and for her! She said she was going to bring her daughters (and try to bring her husband) to see it again.
Seriously two total strangers had an emotional conversation in the theater parking lot because the Barbie movie gave us too many feels to handle alone.
I pre-ordered it on immediately just to be able to listen again when I need validation.
I wish more men could hear this without feeling compelled to compare their experience or judgment or feeling attacked. If we play this for you, we want you to understand. Not asking you to give up your man card - just understand that it’s different and harder in a lot of ways that isn’t “your” fault, and validate our experience even if you can’t relate to it. ESPECIALLY because you can’t relate to it.
Anyway y’all gave me feels again. Thanks for this review!
Men must accept the fact that no one needs them, they aren't essential in human relationships and can't justify their desire to be loved. Obviously women are the only ones with a valid perspective: when women talk, men need to listen; otherwise how else will men understand anything including themselves, they have no primary subjective experience, they are essentially automatons who need to be reprogrammed before they destroy the world with their limited humanity.
bullshit more control from women who already have everything
you dont want to control us but if disagree or do go and see it and dont like it youll break up with that man or punish him in some way
everyone everywhere is mistreated because every human on earth is selfish
the expectations you have for yourself our on you other people are allowed to dislike and judge you for a reason without shame society wouldnt work and wed all be in gangs at war
I actually love that it's Margot Robbie saying "I'm not pretty anymore" and makes the PERFECT point. You can "succeed" at society's goals for you and still not feel it BECAUSE the standard is impossible and contradictory
When I watch the movie I thought it was going to be like all the other superficial barbie movies I watched with my daughter. A group of us dressed up in pink and went to a theater. I was shocked. My dress was ruined, my mascara was all over my face, I had to leave the theater for a second after Gloria's speech. It expressed things I was trying so hard to justify as okay. I served in the military. I'm supposed to be tough. But I was just a broken little girl crying in a bathroom for 5mins. I just want to feel like I'm enough too.
Thank you for serving, and thank you for speaking. ❤
My sister and I caught from the trailer that we could tell the writers knew what they were talking about with Barbie. Her flying off the roof, the car scale, and while I don't know if this was intentional, the matrix reference shoe thing where Barbie picks the "wrong option" and being told to try again is VERY accurate to playing barbies with friends and sisters in our experiences.
Yes. There are so many things I enjoyed about this film, but one was how they captured the spirit or essence of being a kid playing with Barbies, but without showing that in a super literal way. Even with the Kens fighting it had the spirit of kids making their dolls fight.
That's so cool
The "you are not your" bit toward the end has some Fight Club vibes to it, so the references to and subversion of predominately male-focused movies is probably intentional.
Yup! Time for flashbacks from my childhood! ❤
being told to try again when you're doing roleplay and you don't like the choice your sister picked😂😂 accurate
Between this movie and the Eras movie, this year was about finally healing my inner child from that bleak period of internalized misogyny, where so much of my youth was spent simultaneously hating everything girly and pink while, deep down, desperately wanting to engage with it. 2023 really has been the year for the girlies 💗💗💗
Omg I'm so happy for you aww:)))
I can relate with that.... it's very healing
I am a man and I relate to this. So much
i'm a woman, and seeing boys in my family getting more love even by women in my family, i thought if i be one (which is physically impossible)then they'll accept me. so i tried to look and act like boys even tho i loved women related things too. i love both things. but this movie actually made me accept my feminity. i don't need to avoid my feminity to be sucessful or to be loved. i just needed to accept myself. whether i want to look like a boy or girl.
Are you there, God? it's me, Margaret and Barbie - I get *two* extraordinary feminist films in one year?
I'll tell you, back in the 70s I thought I'd grown up in a world with equality and the metric system. I no longer expect either to happen in my lifetime.
Thanks for doing an episode on this movie. As a side note the moment when Megan wiped a tear from Alan's eye and he said "Thanks, Barbie" just warmed my heart. You guys are so sweet. 😭
Best review of Barbie I’ve seen so far. In particular, thank you so much for being dudes who can accept women struggling with expectations and unfairness without feeling threatened by them and like you have to compete or belittle. It meant a lot to see you just caring about it because it speaks to the women in your life, and letting yourselves see meaning in it for you, too. Thank you.
We're so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for watching!
I liked how Barbie and Ken got to talk things out, with Ken realising that he needs to find out who he is outside of her. Also, who'd have thought that I could get so emotional at a Billie Eilish song?!
i had to ask my friends online if all billie eilish songs are this emotionally devastating because if so, those grammys make a lot more sense
billie has a lot of emotional songs (at least to me) some of my favorites are Ocean eyes, idontwannabeyouanymore, bored, my future, Happier than ever’s video is cathartic I recommend. They’ve changed themes w the years as she has grown. Cheers!
Seriously. A lot of your nice guy and incel problems have a large portion that stem becauae they feel their worth is tied to their relationship and how other guys view their relationship. Like these dude project SO hard when they insist all women need external validation but fail to see that much of theor mental anguish is derived from needing external validation and basing their value on external things is also a little ironic.
@@dietotakudude i have to tell myself not to listen to her bc not only are the sounds and lyrics of her songs so sad but her VOICE. it’s so hauntingly soft. other songs by her that make me cry are six feet under, when the party’s over, everybody dies (TW), i love you, and listen before i go (TW). the TW are next to her songs that rlly address depression and thinking about de*th or having ideas about it so those 2 in particular i can’t hear without having old wounds opened.
@@dietotakuif ur looking for more incredibly emotional Billie Eilish songs, my biggest recs are "everything I wanted" and "your power". The best way I've heard her voice described is that she's so faint, it's like her voice is about to break. It's the subtlety that makes the message and lyrics more powerful than if she were screaming out the song.
That depression barbie ad hit so hard in the theater because. I really had been watching Pride and Prejudice on a loop for like 2 months and doom scrolling Instagram during all of my free time instead of doing the things I actually needed and wanted to do
I love how this channel covers the plot long enough to discuss psychology and filmmaking, but leaves enough gaps for me to watch the movies on my own. I'm excited to watch several movies from these videos.
We're so glad and we hope you enjoy the movie!
the main takeaway I got from the this movie was "be careful where you put your selfworth". Barbie put hers in being an ideal and Ken put his in his 'relationship' with another person. Both of those can be taken away and so they both had a breakdown. Barbie was harmful to herself and Ken was harmful to others. Losing your sence of selfworth can cause you to lash out either internally or externally till that pain and that expression of pain is either all you are OR you find something more stable and healthy to base your selfworth on. Overall, love yourself independantly of other people's love and perseption ofyou.
More than anything, I love that this is a movie about growing up into the real world. The barbies and kens are basically children entering the real world and learning what expectations are placed on them now that they are no longer just seen as play things. They have to be productive. They have to be responsible. They have to conform. They have to struggle because everything is not done for them. Ken loves it because he feel like society is catering to him, Barbie hates it because she can't be herself anymore. By the end of the movie, Barbie finally decides to grow up fully, and the first thing she does is practice bodily autonomy by seeing the gynocologist. I know this movie is mainly about the patriarchy and it's effect on girls and women, but I think there is something for everyone who is growing up to realize that adulthood isn't what we thought it would be, but that's okay, so long as we have our friends and family to help us along the journey.
I thought it was a condemnation of patriarchies and matriarchies. In both societies, the other gender didn't own property and were instead the property themselves. I respect them concluding in the end that oppression and objectification flat out sucks no matter who you are
@@spicymemes7458 It is a common missconseption that a matirarchie is a patriarchie with all roles reversed but that's not a matriarchie that's something calles a gynarchie (and sometimes we have patriarchies with women in the top, like for example the Queen ruling Great Brittain untill recently or a company with one female boss/owner). Real matriarchic society are different from that, they have more equalitarian structures in general for example. (Sorry for correcting that. It bothers me every time). -Or if we take an example for animal kingdom: Bonobos are not lead by the stronges female or the smartes but by the female who is best at building social networks.
@@sawanna508 so is it more about how a society is run thst determines patriarchal/matriarchal status or is it who runs it? I ask because the definitions of both are fixated only on the who than the how. Where I was going was that the society Barbies and Ken's lived in had not strived toward egalitarianism until the end. Barbie was back in charge of how the society was run, but they didn't want to make Ken's an underclass again as they were in the beginning.
@@spicymemes7458 no, it isn't dependent on who is charge. Yeah ther was a queen but politically she was a figure head with little real power and the real people running everything were still kostly all men. Plus she was super strict about upholding traditional values that were put in place by men and for men.
This was one of the reasons I loved the movie so much. The way it showed the struggles of change and how tough and difficult the real world is, and Barbie’s existential crisis of death and what her purpose is (along with “What Was I Made For?”) really resonated a lot with me that no movie ever has before. I’m 22 and going through the transition of teenage years to adulthood and it’s been tough. The scene with Barbie sitting on the bench though reminded me that we all struggle, and it’s those
moments of just being human and feeling emotions make life meaningful and worth it.
I can't explain how much i love your videos. Sometimes, on genuinely hard days when every single awful emotion hits me, this channel feels like a safe space that i come to. Almost like tiny therapy sessions. IT may not take the feelings away, but it makes me feel understood, less lonely and sometimes brings me back to earth. Thank you, you all are awesome. I hope everyone overcomes what they want to when they'll be ready.
Thank you for sharing. We're honored to be there in tough times. We appreciate you! ❤️
@@CinemaTherapyShow Thank you too, and thanks a lot for replying. It still amazes me how this channel connects so many people in so many deep ways. And nothing else matters, not age or gender or anything, anything else. Being a human is enough to be supported here. It almost gives me derealization how beautiful yet simple this concept is. :)
You've basically described how I feel and view this channel, as well. I'm so thankful for Alan, Jonathan, Megan, and the rest of the Cinema Therapy team! #cryingwithalan
Absolutely! It feels so nice knowing that if any of them can cry on camera, in front of us, strangers, than we can too if we want! It feels nice not to cry alone while watching a film, and to see others views and interpretations on it.@@triv1
YOU'RE USERNAME ALSKDFJE
I cannot emphasize enough how much I appreciated they said “BBC version of Pride and Prejudice” because honestly Collin Firth is amazing.
One of my favorite parts about Gloria's speech is that during the following montage as she repeats it to all the different Barbies, each small clip includes something different. As good as the initial speech is, there is so much more that she didn't say, but the implication that she gets to go on and let out so much more of those frustrations is brilliant.
wouldn't the Barbies have related to the speech before the Ken's took all the responsibilities
That line 'I want to do the imagining' hit me so hard, out of all of the scenes in this film. It's like a punctuating sucker punch for my own experience, that of an artist who sees everything as art and has been boxed in and limited all her life. I'm at a point where I don't care if I have to fight against computers or an unfair industry, and I don't care if it feels like a struggling relationship with art where I keep pining and everything always slips away from my fingers, at the end of the day I just want to imagine. To feel. To create.
Me too!! I am also an artist who has felt boxed in... It's gotten to the point where the passion has become a struggle which has become a traumatized burden... I highly recommend the comic book "Nightlights" by Lorena Alvarez. The audience is for kids, but it really spoke to me, and might speak to you as well.
That hit me too!!! I grew up in a borderline cult and reality was interpreted through a very strict framework. The framework was reality and it left very little room for the human experience, for curiosity and creativity, and specifically sidelined women. I grew up inside other people’s imaginings of the world and I don’t want to live there anymore. Even if I might be wrong and I don’t have the (false) sense of certainty I grew up with, because I know many of their ideas of what is good were really harmful to me and others. I know I’ll make mistakes too but at least they’ll be mine and at least I can finally hear feedback from myself and others instead of believing people don’t know what’s good for them. At least I can listen to my friends as they are! I’ve always been curious, I want to live a full life with lots of people’s influence not just a small group. My actual life is where I want to be creative the most! I think it’s no coincidence that groups like the one I grew up in have very little room for actual creativity in art. All the restrictions they implicitly put on it is part of how they shut down connection to yourself and others, so it says something disturbing about a society when artists like you experience the same thing. Art is so important!! I really hope you have good luck with it!!!
Wow that's beautiful.
@@EmL-kg5gnI hope it gets better 😅❤
That line is a callback to Simone de Beauvoir and The Second Sex, where she talks about transcendence vs immanence (and women's role as the latter: the muse, the thing whose value is passive and innate). One more thing I love about this movie - all the depth of cultural history Greta Gerwig calls upon!
I saw this at the movie theater and crying and laughing with everyone there and understanding why we all felt that way was surreal
When Ruth told Barbie: "Now feel." the entire audience "felt". ❤
It was genuinely one of the most powerful experiences I've had in a long long long time
Allan said so many times that meghan hates to be in front of cameras. The fact that she sitting here and discussing the movie just made my heart warm.
I took my mom to see this for my birthday. She cried because she’s been fighting for most of her life and now she can breathe on her own. My dad passed away about four years ago and I’m sure she feels alone. That’s why I took her for my birthday, because she’s not alone.
That's sweet. I'm glad that you have each other. Happy belated birthday!
that scene of Barbie asking to become human and then the montage of all the women just being human caught me off guard in the theater. before I knew it, I had tears streaming down my face. as soon as the movie was over, I knew I had seen something special and that I wanted to see this movie again. I never noticed the Hero's Journey aspect of this movie before but now that you guys mention it, I can't unsee it. thanks for always helping me gain new perspective on films that I love. ❤
I walked into Barbie expecting a full-on nostalgia trip and walked out feeling the most seen a movie has ever made me feel. More than Wonder Woman, more than Captain Marvel, more than any movie catered toward female empowerment has ever done. And I really like those movies. I never thought a movie about a plastic doll could rip my friggin' heart open, but here we are. Crying with Allan yet again.
my favorite aspect of the movie is that Barbie chooses to live and grow old. in our culture, being young and beautiful is a woman’s highest value, next to bearing children. growing old has lost its value, and for women, it can be seen as a terrible thing. the best scene imo was when Barbie sees the older woman at the bench, tells her she’s beautiful, and the woman replies “I know it!” it was so refreshing to see an old woman be represented in media as beautiful and confident.
That was one of my favorite scenes as well.
This movie literally pulled my sister from the brink of giving her life up to liver failure and and I thank goodness every day that it came out when it did. It quite literally gave her the will to live.
The part where Barbie breaks down crying and says she’s not pretty anymore is the part that absolutely broke my heart and made me break down crying while watching this movie. And as funny as the narrator’s comment was, I almost wish they hadn’t undercut that moment with comedy. Because to me it made perfect sense. It felt like that moment of growing up when all the realities of being a woman hit you. Because when you’re a little girl at that age where you play with Barbies you feel like Barbie. You think you are the prettiest girl to have ever existed. And then at some point you grow up and all the insecurities creep in and you realize that you’re not beautiful, at least not by Barbie standards. And when that’s the only definition of beauty you know it can be devastating. It was heartbreaking to see Barbie lose that innocent confidence in herself, and for me the most relatable part of the movie because every girl I know has gone through that at some point. Even supermodels and gorgeous actresses like Margot Robbie don’t feel that same confidence in their own beauty that little girls do, and we probably never will again.
Eek, I thought it was just me. I remember looking in the mirror at 6 and realizing I'd never be as pretty as Barbie. It seemed too shallow of a problem to talk about, but it's really about how that affects confidence despite expectations. About suddenly wanting to hide instead of carrying on loudly and being fully present. Thanks for sharing.
for me what made me tear up in this movie more than anything was when she was sitting at the bus stop and when she was deciding to be an imperfect human at the end. Even more than the message about the experience of women, the message that struck me throughout the movie was that both we and the world around us are broken and imperfect, but we are beautiful and we can become better and happier.
Same, every scene with an old woman made me cry. In a movie with a setup so plastic, those scenes felt too human
A lot of little girls who grew up playing with Barbie wanted to be her. I like the parallel that in this movie Barbie wants to be them. To be alive. To be real. To be herself.
As a trans man this movie meant so much to me. Though I came out in my early twenties, I grew up and was treated by society as a girl and briefly a woman . I grew up with Barbie the movies, dolls, etc. When I came out I found myself hating my inner child, the person who everyone around me claimed I was and should be. I shunned all the things I used to love that were remotely feminine due to those things being used to invalidate my identity. I’m more secure now in myself, and if anything I’m trying to connect to that inner child currently. The ending with Barbie becoming Barbra taking her first breath just made me cry so much. It reminded me of myself taking the step to becoming more of myself which felt like I was living for the first time instead of playing a part society had chosen for me. I have never felt like a girl or woman but I guess as a man I do have the experience of growing up being seen and treated as one. It’s a very interesting experience to see not only myself change but also how the world sees me change too. I think anyone regardless of identity can take something from this movie, it is beautiful. Remember no matter who you are, you are kenough✨
Being a man who knows what it's like to exist in the world presenting as or being treated as a female is incredibly powerful and gives you insight and empathy most men don't have (especially cis men).
I'm touched by your experience. Thank you for sharing.
I am also a trans man just beginning my journey after having found out a year ago when I was 19 I was trans. I'm 20 now. I still embrace feminity and stereotypical girlish things. I like dresses and skirts and crop tops, etc. But I know that I'm still trans and it's okay to be a guy and still like feminine things. I'm looking into top surgery now so I can look the way I want and fit the clothes the way I want.
thank you for sharing you story! I, a cis het woman, actually resonate with shunning feminine things (and probably my inner child, need to discuss in therapy) because my mom forced "girlie" things on me. She is very old fashioned/traditional and basically felt women should only wear skirts and dresses and cook and have kids. Wearing jeans made me a "boy" (which she would admonish me for wearing) and she praised me for doing anything deemed "domestic" and i resented that and her and grew to shun anything that is stereotypically feminine because it didnt feel like me/felt like a box? Im still working through that and deciding what things i genuinely like and dont, feminine or not (i still cant do any florals cause I'm scarred) and regardless liking certain things does not dictate your gender or force an identity necessarily, you get to choose who you want to be and how you want to express yourself. But its hard to push through when there is so much messaging, especially within your own family/circles, trying to tell you the opposite.
@@clerbie I agree. I shun a lot of feminine things too because either society tried forcing it on me or I just didn't like it. Thankfully my mom wasn't part of the problem. I'm staying female and people can just deal with me looking female but not doing what people expect of females.
I watched this movie with my boyfriend and he asked me why I was crying at the end. After many conversations, one day, he picked me up from work and told me he saw a pretty lady walking into one of the buildings. And he told me he instead of just seeing a pretty lady, he thinks, "What does she have to go through because she's pretty?"
What I love about the dance at Barbie's house is that Dance the Night by Dua Lipa is about dancing to avoid your problems, which is what Barbie was doing in that scene
I'm a 21 year old male, and I absolutely loved this movie. Even though it was meant for women, that ending scene in the white void actually made me tear up again. Maybe it's just that I cry at self discovery stories, but if it's making someone like me cry, then I'd argue that the film, while mainly was meant for women, can resonate with just about anyone. (Rewatching the scene in this video actually made me break down a bit.)
You a green flag, my guy 💚 /pos
I know this is a old comment, but I wanted to say that this is not a movie only for women. While it does (usually) impact women more, it is also a mesage for men. Patriarch affects both (in different ways). Like Ken says, you are kenough
And they don't mention in this video so much but Barbie has such a good understanding and just...absolute mastery of the concept of ma. Miyazaki & Studio Ghibli are world reknowned for this concept and incorporating it into their films. The moment Barbie's sitting in the park and just watching the people go by and when she sees Ruth's life - that's ma. They're these breaths in between moments that are, in my opinion, one of the biggest factors in Barbie wanting to be alive. The small quiet moments are what make life so beautiful. Thanks for making me cry again, Internet Dads.
I know exactly what you're talking about, and I really wish movies did such moments more (I further appreciate Barbie for doing this!) but I'm not sure what you mean by "the concept of ma" 😅
@@Scrofarthe concept of ma from my understanding seems to be basically "taking a breather from the story and just... absorb the emotions" In studio ghibli there tends to be scenes of quiet and reflection where the characters don't speak, they just stare out into an environment and we just sit with them, we take the lack of information being given to us in the moment to just truly feel.
I guess ma is like... meditation? Just letting the audience think for themselves for once and letting them feel their feelings.
One of the most notable scenes of this is in Spirited Away where Chihiro just sits quietly with her friends as they ride a train. There's no dialogue, just soft music for a moment. Everytime I watch that scene I cry uncontrollably, because to me it's a release and a vessel to just cry and not be judged for the beauty and emotions I see and feel.
I had no idea there was a term for that, but it's _exactly_ what I love about Lord of the Rings the book.
Omg I didn’t even think about the dance party and beginning sequence in the lens of “women’s concerns aren’t taken seriously so they shove it all down”. Personally, I interpreted it as living with mental illnesses (since I’ve lived with them since the age of 11). Whenever I have been honest about what I’m going through, I lost many friends and plenty family members stopped talking to me. There’s so much pressure to suffer in silence for the sake of making everyone else comfortable.
"Comfortable" is maybe the wrong word; "safe" is likely more accurate.
I hope you understand that not everyone is equipped to provide mental and emotional care to others. While I would never say that anyone should keep feelings stamped down for the sake of others' comfort, talking about such things to people who don't know how to handle such conversations puts stress on them that they might not be able to manage. It's not fair, it's just life. Sometimes people need others to keep certain thoughts and feelings to themselves simply because they themselves already have too much going on with their own ideas and emotions, and are afraid that sharing would break them, so they don't dare do anything but shut down other people who show signs of being "less than alright."
Self-preservation is inherently selfish, but it's also necessary. It's like being immune-compromised and sharing space with someone who has the flu -- you might be okay, but you might also end up with something so much worse than the person with the flu because your defenses aren't adequate. So you tell the people with the flu to stay away from you, to -- in essence -- keep it to themselves. I think we'd all be dismayed to learn how many of the people we know well are emotionally "immune-compromised," and really just need us to not share in order to help them stay safe.
Again, not fair. But people can only handle so much, and many just can't handle the additional "pressure" of someone who's depressed, because they're doing everything they can to step out of, or avoid, that for themselves. We would probably all be better if we could freely share and move on, to try take the weight and sting out of being "less than okay," and maybe dcerease the importance of depression by acknowledging that many (if not most) of us have experienced it, or are now doing so. In an ideal world, we'd recognize that talking it out (without fixation, or assigning too much importance), would likely lighten everyone's load, but when you can feel the darkness nipping at your heels, it takes a real leap of faith to believe you'd be okay to acknowledge your own (or someone else's) depression -- what seems more likely is that "indulging" the feeling of depression in yourself or someone else is a one-way ticket to the abyss.
So people shut it down. Because they don't know what else to do to keep themselves safe.
@@jwhite-1471 I have never trauma dumped to anyone who didn’t give me permission. When I was 16, I almost died of suicide, which my mother was aware of and then shrugged it off when I told her I almost died and the attempt didn’t work. My therapist at the time called my mother and threatened to report her to child protective services on account of emotional neglect (because being aware that your child attempted to kill themselves and then ignoring it is considered neglect) unless she enrolled me in a mental hospital. Mother then made me tell my therapist that the suicide attempt was a lie I made up for attention. My then therapist then dropped the subject after I called her. My mother then went on a rant about what a disappointment I was to the family and practically ignored my existence for a week. When your own parents don’t give a shit about your well-being, it’s pretty safe to assume no one else will.
What were you saying about not everyone being equipped to deal with mental illnesses?
@@jwhite-1471why are you assuming they were just traumadumping on everyone? Why is that your go to assumption? Also you family is supposed to he supportive and help. Especially your parents. Doubley so when you're still a child. It is literally the role and job of a parent to help their children with their health and to take them to a professional if it is beyond them. Like rinse out and bandage a knee if they fall and scrape it but take them to a Dr if their leg is broken. Same goes for mental health.
It's hard to not be perfect when everyone expects perfection. I'm sorry that those people's expectations made your illness even harder to deal with. Depression is a major illness, one that can be fatal to many. I wish I could wrap you up in a big hug and tell you that it's okay to be imperfect, to cry, to flail, to stumble, to fail, and that it doesn't make you an iota less worthwhile as a human being. You are amazing, fantastic, strong, and beautiful, even on your worst days. You are loved and you are valuable. I hope that you are getting the support and care that you deserve.
@@insertianameia2224 Literally!! The reply was so dumb because I’ve always been careful to not trauma dump on anyone unless given permission. Hell, I’ve lost relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners by simply saying “Hey, I have depression” or “I go to therapy” or “I take medication”. If that’s now I lose connections then it’s easy NOT to trauma dump. 🤦♀️
As a man, going to see the barbie movie was such an experience. I was crying by the end with my best friends and it was genuinely the best movie and the most powerful thing I've seen in a long time. I think it was also eye opening to a lot of people and incredibly influential to women everywhere. It was such a perfect balance of silly and deep that it really is for everyone. Just like barbie :)
Gloria's soliloquy is one of the greatest modern examples of how good writing, put in the hands of amazing actors, can create an amazing moment of personal realization and drama.
I’m a transgirl and even prior as a gay man I easily disregarded womens issues. It wasn’t til i chose to be transgender that I felt like my life has been hell since-i thought life as a man was hell. But the minute I chose to be a woman it felt like every human right I thought I was born with was taken from me and disregarded by society. As a man i could speak my mind and everyone would stop to hear me and now it’s like i have to fight to even be seen as equal to even be taken seriously. As a man i never had to worry about a single thing as a woman I’m terrified to even leave the house for my safety-as a man i would go hiking or walking at night alone as a woman I’ve had so many times where I’ve had men drive after me chasing me through streets and I’ve had hide in peoples gardens or behind cars in hopes to not be abducted. As a man i could wear no makeup as a woman you get told all the time “you’re not looking so good” are you okay? You get these condescending concerns just for not wearing light natural makeup. As a man i never once cared about my body and if i did that was my own personal discussion with myself as a woman everyone has an opinion and comfortably thinks it’s okay to comment on your body or how you dress. As a man i could wear no shirt and nobody cared-as a woman i got slut shamed and accused for trying to pervert my family by wearing crop top inside my own house because it was the hottest day of the year. As a man i could speak and people listened as a woman i can speak and you can see peoples eyes look away and lose interest in seconds. Becoming a woman in this world was like on voluntarily losing all of my human rights.
Please hang on. We need women like you who know and can speak to both the good and bad and wonderful aspects of both genders. If you don't already, I would love for you to start journaling your everyday experiences and maybe even write a letter to your past existence as a man. Even if your words never see the light of day, just getting them out and feeling those words is so helpful. When you learn to accept yourself as you truly are on any given day, you will find the community of people who do so as well. Good luck with your continued journey.
"What was I made for" makes me cry every time I listen to it. I don't have the words to explain why it feels so raw to me
I just have to say that not only in this video but also in so many others you guys validate my life experience as a woman (especially one that has various traumas that only exist because of the fact that I am a woman) so much and it is so deeply cathartic and I appreciate you both so so much for it. You somehow always manage to post a video that tells me exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it and you’re constantly reminding me that my experiences are valid and that I am allowed to recognise what I have gone through and how it affects me without feeling like I’m just trying to come up with an excuse for struggling with things that other people don’t even see as a task. Thank you so much for what you do.
Aww
I feel this. Thank you.
As a trans girl- this movie meant so- so much to me.
Just as a woman
And just as having an experience. And to see cis men and women AND trans men and women be able to relate so much to this movie is beautiful and affirming for me.
hi, Barbie! ❤
Hiya barbies!:)
Hi, Barbies! I'm Barbie!
I love the part when Ruth tells Barbie to feel, that scene just felt euphoric to me because of it sheer impact.
That billie eilish song really gets it, i feel like it genuinely should win the oscar this year. it's perfect for the movie and puts me in tears whenever i hear it
Wish I could hit Like 10 times for this comment. The song sums up the film so completely.
She got to watch the movie first, then wrote the song. And it's perfect!
I was a dark and weird and crazy kid who played with Barbies until around age 15. Most of my play time consisted of plot lines that were part soap opera and part Slasher horror where Barbie was an investigator/final girl that tried to get to the bottom of who was murdering locals while the cops told her not to get involved.
Man, I miss playing with my dolls now.
Hmm sounds like it could be a legit good read. I selfishly want you to write it 😅
Me too! My mom looked at me with the weird Barbie scenes because all of mine were weird Barbie. Not my fault that some of them were trying to kill their husbands for the insurance money
Go get some dolls. Set up your phone as a camera. Play those stories out and make short films out of them. Use that brilliant creativity to make whatever kind of art you want, really, but don't discount how clever and creative you are. :)
Sounds amazing! My stories included murders and dramatic fairytales. I remember playing a scenario with my cousin where Midge was going to a masquerade ball in a princess costume that turned out to be possessed by the spirit of the actual princess who used to wear it.
@@Logitah I love it!
i watched it with three of my guy friends in the cinema, and i absolutely loved the movie. It was so fun, relatable and we all enjoyed it. one of my friends is a blode dude who recently been through a breakup and the moment ken said "without you im just another blode guy who cant even do flips" we all looked at him at the same time and died of laughter. There is something for everyone in the movie and it have so good messages in it. Cant wait to rewatch it when it comes to the streaming services :)
Thanks for sharing! Sounds like a great experience.
The part of the movie that had the biggest effect on me was at the beginning where the President, the cabinet, the reporter, and the ones accepting the awards were all women and NO ONE was apologizing for their success. They were all owing the hard work and talent that got them there. And, not in an egotistical way, but just like, "Yeah, I worked hard for this and I deserve it." That was shocking to witness. Not only seeing so many women in positions of power and receiving awards, but also the women completely owning their success. I'm so used to seeing women belittle their success to make others feel more comfortable. I'm used to seeing women shrug off compliments, deflect compliments, and downplay their achievements. As a 50 year old women, I can't tell you how deeply that few moments in the movie affected my psyche. I've never witnessed anything like that in my life and it opened up a world of possibilities. Also, the old woman at the bus stop when Barbie tells her she's so beautiful, and she replies with, "I know." So good.
As a trans woman, the montage scene hit me a little differently when I first saw it, as did the whole movie, really. While there is the obvious "this is what life is like" reading of the scene, I see it also as "this is what womanhood is like." With these two readings combined, I feel like the ending with Barbie saying yes to life is not her wanting life but realizing that life, that real womanhood, is something that she has had within her the whole time
Beautiful. That was beautifully stated. Thank you.
Agreed
Nice
And ruth telling her she wanted her to be informed. Being a woman is not easy. But it is beautiful. Thank you for this comment
Thank you for this comment! Specifically for your view that “this is what womanhood is like”. I’m a cis woman and I grew up in a very patriarchal community. So without being fully conscious of it I brought that pain in and saw it as “life is still beautiful in spite of the fact that you’re a woman”. But, as real and pervasive as all that suffering is, it’s inherent to patriarchy not to womanhood. So now when I think about it you’re right. One of the reasons life is beautiful is because we are women, womanhood is beautiful and full of life. We bring so much happiness and meaning to this world and to each other through all our individual and interconnected ways of being women. Thank you for helping me understand myself and my womanhood in a healthier way 💕
I loved Barbie. My 16 yo daughter and her friends loved it because 'Barbie', feminism and comedy. I loved it because, as a Gen X woman, there was so much to identify with and appreciate. I've worked in male-dominated spaces my whole career, so the Mattel board was chef's kiss. All the references - Indigo Girls, BBC Pride and Prejudice (the best), faking caring about the Zack Snyder cut and all men's reaction to 'I've never seen The Godfather'. America's speech made me cry and the whole thing made me laugh. It was great. Even the controversial line about standing still while our daughters go ahead really hit for me. A whole lot of my life for the last 16 years has been trying to get her to a place where she knows who she is and doesn't have to have Ken's struggle of discovering who she is without someone else and doing my best to get her started on her own adventure. Greta Gerwig and the whole cast hit perfectly. Thanks for covering it.
Awww that’s such a sweet anecdote. Thanks for sharing
When I watched the movie for the first time I went to the cinema with my best friend. She has already seen it before, but she wanted to go again, and we both cried. At the end she asked me why I cried and I said something like: "I can't even really put it into words, but I felt something deep stirring inside of me during the 'what was I made for' scene." She nodded and when I asked her why she cried she replied: "Barbie was given the choice of being a woman, despite the problems she might have to face eventually, and she still said yes with basically no hesitation. One of my biggest strenghts is that despite everything I've been through, I'm still happy and proud to be a woman."
She's been going through so much in her life and is working hard to overcome it, and hearing her say that made me even more emotional. In that moment I was so damn proud of her.
There was a book I read as a child, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. It had a scene where the main character (after having died) was floating in a sky of changing colors. It was later explained in the book that the sky's changing colors were the emotions he felt throughout his life, and each color had its significance. I like to think that the film writers attempted to do something similar and I think it is gorgeous.
Im a music therapist and have used Billie’s song in my practice, only to go home and cry because the lyrics mean so much to me too.
I'm also a music therapist and I can't believe I haven't added it to my rep yet. Doing so immediately.
It's permanently in my "I need a cry right now" playlist.
Cool! Which songs do you recommend?
I'd be really interested to see your Psychology of a Villain: Ken. I know he's an antagonist, rather than a true villain, but considering this is the movie (specifically the run up to the campfire scene) that made me look at myself and realise that I was part of the problem, that I was a active part of the patriarchy... no matter how much I'd thought myself an ally and pro-feminism. I think that toxic masculinity would be really interesting to examine in how it harms men as well as women.
Dude, recognizing that and acknowledging it is superhero level self-awareness. The hardest part is always admitting the need for change to ourselves and you should be proud of that.
I will drop EVERYTHING to watch that video.
He absolutely falls into antagonist camp rather than actual villain. He’s well meaning but goes about everything in a very misguided way with a lot of misunderstandings at the hip.
I feel like we all ended up loving him for it, helped along by Ryans’ genius performance and it shot this character over the top. The layers he imbues is actually masterful, because this easily could have fallen into the trap of being 2 dimensional fluff.
Same! Especially if they go with the lense of him not learning anything in the end that’d be cool
I want to say, that I'm a trans man. I was born female, I lived the female experience until I was 30, and this movie hit me like a wrecking ball. It so beautifully talked about the female experience, and I encourage everyone to watch it. It was amazing, and I don't know how well it will age, but I hope to see more movies by women, for women in the future that can reach that same level, or greater now that it's being proven to work. We need these kinds of stories.
And somehow, Barbie went deeper than that, because it also spoke to my experience being trans, and in a way highlighted a few things that I have felt about socially transitioning to a man that I wasn't expecting.
I won't go into it, I don't want to take away from this beautiful episode and the messages talked about here. But would you guys perhaps do a video on Ken from the movie? Because while Barbie was the main character, the stuff going on with Ken really impacted me too.
Has everyone noticed the brilliant subtle acting on Margot Robbie's face after she says "I'm dying to dance" and then when she starts dancing again she almost looks like a marionette , her arm moves look like someone's pulling her strings, and her face expression reminds me of one of those ventriloquist dolls that always has the same expression with the large smile and wide eyes that move left-right and that don't match the smile, like the eyes always look like he's scared of someone following him, but he can't stop smiling cause he can't show the predator that he's scared, if that makes sense. :)) I just love how they did that. It's great because at that point, she's literally controlled by her environment , she can't feel her sad or worried emotion, she's put that in a box for later, for fear of judgement, so now she's given up free will. I also love how in the end when she becomes human, they do a closeup on her heart pendant and it's like a symbol for the fact she's been given a heart and emotions.
The fact that Barbie goes from blind ideals to a more enlightened person makes a good commentary that there’s a level of ignorance in the idealism. Ken is a very good example of that. All Kens at the start are “raised” to please the Barbie girls but in that ideology, he is led into the real world where he sees that men are respected but he only gets a slice of the pie and ends up going about his own independence in a way that is all misguided and wrong. If he had chosen to go to the real world with Barbie, he might have learned it’s not as simple to be his own man
As someone with autism, while I loved the ‘It is Impossible to Be a Woman’ speech, the scene with Stereotypical Barbie on the park bench hit me hardest. Every time, it almost makes me cry. I have autism, and so growing up it was often a struggle to connect with others, understand theirs and my emotions and understand social cues and find a tribe. So when I see Barbie feeling these emotions she’s never felt, and observing all of these different people experiencing different emotions, and realizing how liberating it feels to feel those things too, it really hit home. Because it’s a moment of her connecting with the human world. With everything I’ve achieved in my social life since I was officially diagnosed at sixteen, that scene hit so hard, all the more because Margot Robbie played it without dialogue. Truly perfect scene. I also struggled for years with suicidal depression in high school, so it also hit hard on that level, because Barbie seeing all of what life could be really resonated with how I eventually started to feel once I got help for my depression (partly caused by not knowing I had autism and feeling like an outcast) and after I came out as bi (which was another root cause)
I was diagnosed autistic at 22.
This movie made me cry in ways i still am processing. I think part of it is because I dont look disabled, i look like a nerotypical woman. But I am not. And all the expectations society had on me all my life; this kind of gave me permission to be myself more than my diagnosis did.
@@PsychoTrin that’s so awesome. Glad it resonated with you
I watched this movie in the theatre when I was leaving my abusive husband. I went alone. I wept. Not tears of sadness, but tears of relatability and anger and hope for my life.
I saw this with my mom and that scene of Gloria’s monologue brought her to tears. She really felt validated by that speech
Thank you for being the best internet dads ever! I feel like I learn so much from each video and it is very healing. Everyone on the Cinema Therapy team need to recognize the amount of joy and calm AND PERSPECTIVE that these videos offer all of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖
Thank you! ❤️❤️
This made me love Barbie again. Previously, she felt like another stupid standard to live up to, but now I realise Barbie can be exactly what you need her to be. That's why there are so many Barbies, so many girls can identify with her and show that they can be anything. This made me realise Barbie isn't the 'enemy' but actually is a good role model, and her being pretty shouldn't detract from her achievements. Barbie does represent women.
I like the part in America's speech at the end that says that even a doll that's just meant to represent a woman can't even live up to ridiculous expectations. She was meant to represent the amazingness of women and people perverted that into ridiculous body standards
@@melbaangel420 it wasn't people unfortunately. it was the creators of barbie. in fact the woman who founded it said more than a few times that she wanted the dolls girls played with to have breasts. she was getting at the idea that she wanted them to play with versions of themselves as adults, but still, that version was literally a "pin-up girl". in fact they took direct inspo from those women.
My Barbie had brown hair and tan lines.
... until my brother cut her into tiny bits and dumped them in the tall grass in our back yard... discovered only because he missed a bit of her heel which I found on the floor under the bread board... >_
As a woman I personally felt mixed emotions when I watched this movie. I really loved the premise of it, the humor was awesome, and the character growth was well done. I did feel that the feminism messaging was too ham handed though, even for my comfort level. I absolutely love the monologue about what it means to be a woman, and I felt a sense of relief when I finally felt heard and empathized with. I think Jono is right that that scene the reason it did so well at the box office.
I was extremely worried that a lot of men would be turned off by it, especially since it was being labeled as a "woke" movie. I asked my husband and several guy friends what they thought of it, and I was pleasantly surprised that they took it in stride and even enjoyed it just as much.
I also watch a lot of reaction channels and all of them with guys seemed fine with it too. When they get to the monologue scene you can just see their expression go from smiling (from the previous joke), to slight shock, to curious confusion, to concern, to reverent silence, and then self reflection. It's a beautiful thing to witness.
To know that that moment is the doorway to a constructive conversation that starts with "Is that true? Have you felt that way?" gives me hope. It also solidifies for me that those close minded few who complain the loudest only get attention because they make a fuss and get amplified by those who want to take advantage.
I felt exactly the same, I felt that the movie said such obvious things. It was a bit irritating to me because sexism isn’t usually ham handed. It’s a bunch of small awful interactions that never seem that bad to others as a singular action. But then discussing it with male friends, it was clear that they needed it to be this ham handed. Many men in my workplace have never lived in a world not made for them. They didn’t even consider how exhausting it is to simply exist. As women, we already knew the things the movie pointed out, we didn’t need reminded about how hard things are. But others did, and I think the discussions coming from the movie are super important. Although, the point is lost on some men, I had the struggles of women mansplained to me by a coworker who watched the movie 💀
I honestly didn't like this movie. It made me really uncomfortable, there was too much misogyny - "men hate women and women hate women, it's what we agree on". I almost stopped the movie right there. Parts were beautiful and wonderful - America Ferrara's speech and the "now feel" montage of women. But I was just cringing for like 40 minutes in the middle. The world hating women that strongly in this movie was terrifying.
@@c.coffee3035 I cringed for a decent amount of the movie too, but it didn't feel like "men hate women and women hate women" to me. Instead it felt more like just overall resentment.
At the beginning all the Barbies get along and you can tell that Ken just feels left out all the time. When they go to the real world Ken experiences immense culture shock and so he dives in to the whole thing because he thinks its the utopia for him that Barbieland is for the Barbies. The only pushback he gets is needing a degree for a job. Barbie has both a positive and negative experience (the old woman on the bench vs the clique of teenagers). The teenagers I think represent the most toxic version of femininity because they are just so intentionally vicious.
When they get back to Kendom they get angry and try to force everything back to normal. Ken at that point just gives off childish vibes of "now you know what it feels like, haha."
The part of the movie that made me legitimately angry though was that in order to break the trance the Barbies had to act dumb again despite knowing how intelligent they are. It felt so underhanded. As much as the one-on-one conversation between Barbie and Ken needed to happen, the 4hrs of singing scene was the perfect moment to try to broach the topic. Maybe have that same conversation they do at the dollhouse but then go back to the community and talk it all out with everyone. Instead they chose to put everything back to Barbieland and give the Kens minimal influence (instead of the supreme court justices they get lower circuit court). It still gave off vibes of matriarchy.
I would've loved it much better if we got a post credit scene of like "one year later" where Barbie visits the fictional world again. This time though it would be a utopia called Mattel World where the Kens, Allan, and Barbies have equal power over every single aspect of the world. I imagine the beginning scenes but with everyone having their own homes with Barbies floating down and Kens taking the elevator. The Mount Mattel would have Barbie, Allan and Ken busts, and the Supreme Court would be 4 Kens and 4 Barbies of all different races, with Allan being the tie breaker vote when needed.
Because at the end of the day, thats the utopia feminism hopes to create and what the USA aspires to be.
I will say that i also got bored and thought the "women's lives are so hard" part was too much and went on too long.
But after seeing how other people needed to hear it, not as a joke to be brushed past but something meant to make the audience uncomfortable and face it (which you can't do if you leave it as a short thing and go straight back to comedy), i think it actually boils down to _i_ didn't need to hear it. Outside of just a few people in my life, i don't need to deal with it. I don't partake in social media and influencers, nor did i ever really get into makeup or the need to "look pretty". I don't have kids or a partner so i don't deal with the emotional work of having to "mother" all the time.
Other than one coworker who would ask a question, hear me answer it, then ask a male coworker the same question, i deal with people who treat me as "one of the guys" or maybe more accurately, don't see me as different from them.
@@princesspirategurl12
For the proposed post credit scene, i think that would somewhat defeat the purpose of the movie. As it is, you have the real world where women are struggling to become equal and the barbie world which is an idealized form of "women can do anything".
The movie was saying that even with this idealized world where women are in absolute power and thought that they'd fixed everything for the real world by being something to look up to/idolize, that wasn't enough to get women into real positions of power in the real world. The status quo for the real world changes so absolutely slowly that the people selling the dream were all men and continued to want to sell a dream. That's why they didn't want ken to take over barbieland. If kens joined the courthouse, they'd have to be specific new kens for that, like how the stereotypical barbie doesn't know how to do the jobs of the other barbies.
Barbieland was the reflection of the dream of girlpower but run by men less than it was an idealized world for equality. It's also why they didn't put any focus on bringing midge back in, or lgbtq barbies; what happens in barbieland had direct and real consequences on mattel and their products and the company would not want that.
Plus, the kens need time to chill out again. It'd be like voting for a politician who ends up criminalizing being able to be pregnant, then voting them back in after they try to make laws that women who may be pregnant can't leave the state in case they get an abortion. The damage they could do from their messed up priorities is too great at this time.
Although even if they included a post credit scene where mattel had women on the board, i wouldn't trust that it would be anything other than an optics thing and it would leave me feeling worse at the end than i otherwise would have felt. And if it was like the court in barbieland with judge kens, i'd think they'd never get anything done since they are equivalently partison views and so would have trouble coming up with bipartison legislation.
I would have enjoyed a post credit scene of the barbies and kens trying to branch out of their roles. Like a beach ken/barbie learning how to be a doctor, or like lawyer classes. As like a "your single attribute does not define you" end note. But that isn't what the movie was about, either
The most genius thing about Barbie is when you realise it's a perfect sequal to Fight Club as both films have the same message that consumerism hurts all of us by setting impossible standards for male/female 'perfection'. Ken's story mirrors many guys who watched Fight Club and missed the message that toxic masculinity leads to isolation, violence, hate and terrorism. Barbie confirms this but also shows the counterpoint that women learn early on to rebel against the perfect Barbieworld sold to them but are forced to repress these feelings to 'fit in'. Barbie actually says the same thing to Ken as Tyler - that he is not defined by his job (Beach), stuff but then goes futher to tell him he needs to find himself - not look to her or anyone else to tell him what to do/be. Instead of showing men and women to be different this moment shows that we are the same - and that we can be happy if we stop fighting and start working toghether against the real enemy - Mattel who want nothing mode then to steal everything humanity can be, package it and sell it back to us in a way that ruins our planet and self esteem.
I mean, obviously the Barbie movie isn't the place to really center Ken's journey, but I'd love a side video and maybe spinoff movie about Ken's journey.
What impossible standards if I may ask?
@@tobiaslawrence8928 advertising/beauty standards - did you know that the majority of beauty products were sold on making people feel ugly? Everything from Deodorant to Skin Whitening Cream and Botox required selling people on a problem with their body that only buying something, extreme dieting or wearing the right clothes or having the right body shape could fix. While traditionally the target was women the pivot to men lead to a rise in male eating disorders and mental health issues...all to expand the market of the beauty/wellness industry.
When one gender role suffers from stereotypes and expectations, the others do too. When woman are forced to always feel they are never enough, men always feel they have to be on a pedestal and can never show weakness. To improve one circumstance, you must work towards making strides in all aspects of the situatuon
Spot on❤! Inequality affects all sides.
Gretta Gerwig's Barbie movie is one of the greatest movies of the Decade so far. I love it so much. it has so much to say about feminism but also toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, the way men in the patriarchy are constantly pitted against each other and are discouraged from emotional intimacy that may help them (many as trans man has stated how fucking lonely it is to be a man, saying that in women's spaces you will have conversations and emotional vulnerability with other women you've never met just in the bathrooms, and for men in the same situation everyone is just trying to get through the process and out with little to no contact.), the way men are expected to want to have women and sex (enforced by media that always has men winning the girl) and that when they don't do that they are somehow unable to fit within what society tells them they should be. that because they're a "nice guy" and not much else that they deserve to be dated, the way that there are barbies in wheel chairs and barbies played by trans women that are just as valid as barbies as any other barbies in society, the way Alan is neither accepted by the kens and their toxic Patriarchy and are ignored by the barbies feels metaphorically as the way trans men fit within patriarchy, they're neither allowed into the boys club because they understand or have deconstructed toxic patriarchal views of manhood, but also aren't allowed in women's spaces because they aren't women
Thank you for your comment. As a cis women I'm not always aware of depth of struggle that trans people go through, thank you for bringing some of it to light. 🌈
wouldn't this actually be about trans women (male to female) not trans men (female to male)? but yea i see your point. everyone has their struggles w/ society's norms.
Thank you so much for this comment.
This is something about the real struggles of boys and men that only few people understand.
Also:
Alan is not only relatable to trans men but to any boy/man who does not subscribe to the hypermasculinity experience as welcoming and wholesome.
I just wish that Alan would have had his own arc - instead of merely being an ally to Barbie in usefully beating other men up at a convenient time.
The speech America Firerra's character made about what it is like to be a woman really hit me! The biggest one is the "you always have to be grateful That one got me because I believe deeply in God and I am very grateful but, lately ive been asking myself "why are you expressing gratitude right now? Is it because you are honestly grateful? Or is the fact that you are telling yourself you need to be grateful because you have so much and other people have so little - that you feel that your problems can't count because you really are lucky to have everything you do have?" I am learning that sometimes gratefulness is something I hide behind - instead of letting myself feel my real emotions and that came from watching that whole scene! I cried!
As someone who has difficulty wording things, I just want to thank you for putting so many complex thoughts into terms that allow me to process things. I find myself wanting to explain my feelings on a regular basis but I lack either the time or understanding of how to convey them to others and it leads to a lot of frustration.
It’s like a diagnosis! Sure, things aren’t immediately better from the label being pasted onto you, but it helps you understand why you’ve been feeling this way. Hearing you guys consistently being able to take the experiences shown in films and lay it all out within a few words is, first of all insane (how do you keep doing it!), and secondly, incredibly validating because it’s that feeling of “I’m not the only one” and “yes! That’s exactly how I feel!”
So thank you again for giving us the terms to explain our own experiences and just for doing everything you do! I watch every single video, even if I haven’t seen the movie you’re discussing because you guys are absolutely hilarious and a joy to watch! Excited to see what you guys do next!
We're so glad you found it helpful. Thanks for watching all of our videos! 😊
The Speech made me cry both times watching the movie. I leaned over to my sister and told her "I've never felt so validated." It perfectly summed up so much of what I've experienced in life. I also loved Barbie and Ken's conversation at the end. Learning to be your own person and love yourself for who you are is sooo important. Also, I totally would by a Depression Barbie. XD
I think the last scene to me when she realizes she can choose is to me so representing of my journey and the journey of many women around me. Growing up regardless of what society or culture we come from, we always get taught certain rules, and have so many expectations defining our experiences, you can be too loud, you can't be an ugly woman, you can't go out beyond 9 PM, your life doesn't have value if you don't get married, and growing up it felt like the only way I could live is being in the shadows of expectations, that my life was laid out to me, I had a role I had to play perfectly, and if I didn't I'm of no value as a human. Seeing her come to the realization reminds me of the day I realized, people can say no, people can call me ugly, people can have whatever expectations they want, it's me that gets to decide, feel, and live my own life. The amount of fear I had saying my first no, saying I don't want to get married and I want to have a career, saying that my impact to the world is not having children, it was terrifying, but after the day I said my first no, it's as if the world around me changed, people who were getting disappointed at my slightest out of line action now expect and respect when I do.
The whole movie was so amazing in many ways, I watched it with a theater full of ladies, and it felt so empowering to sit next to amazingly beautiful and successful women in my life and see that they shared the same feelings and experiences.
i saw cinema therapy at fanx in 2022, they were doing a special episode on the incredibles in person. and Jonathan said his quote "for change to happen, the pain of change has to be less than the pain of staying the same". i have had it written in my notes for over a year now and it's always been my favorite quote. hearing him say that in an episode on a movie that i absolutely love so much was incredible. thank you allan and Johnathan