OUTGROWING MY FLAKY FRIENDS! | storytime
Vložit
- čas přidán 25. 06. 2019
- STORYTIME on getting ghosted by a "bff" and why i can't keep a flaky best friend. Losing friends or finding out your best friends are terrible sucks, but we keep it pushing in pursuit of better.
LINKS
SEE MORE OF ME: czcams.com/users/babyteph?su...
IG / bbyteph
TWITTER / stepherence
Lateness, cancelling and outright stringing you along..these types of people are dysfunctional. If you aren’t willing to drop them, invite them out only in group situations. Think about it, they can be on time to their job everyday but can’t keep times and dates with their friends. It’s a choice!
FACTS!!
Right!
I actually don't mind late people if it's not ridiculously late. I'm always 10 to 30 mins late because I don't want to turn up somewhere and be waiting around. Use to turn up early all the time and got tired of waiting. But not showing up, avoiding phone calls or just not showing up without notice is rude. I just block these people because they're a waste of time. F**k em. Had one confront me in person saying "been trying to get hold of you how come you're not responding?" "Because I blocked you" then they get upset, not over the 10 times you've stood me up. Oh well.
Truth 100%! Just learned that the hard way...
I think that people who care have to find other people who care.
I’d rather someone just tell me if they didn’t want to hang out!
Exactly.
ahaha right? it's that simple!
And make the excuse the truth "because I don't want to"
In my 30s and I will tell you that you cannot explain things to some people.
Same lol
I can definitely relate. At 46 I can share that eventually almost, if not all, of your high school and college friends will be gone by this age. Typically, they have kids and become busy with their family or we had a "falling out." It's a sad part of life. From my experience, family becomes way more important as life moves on. Friends come and go with different "chapters."
"Friends" often time disappoint you. Trick is to have low expectations. For example if I'm inviting people to do something. If I want 6 people there, I'll invite 10-12 because guaranteed about half of them will flake. That only backfired once when everyone showed up and I didn't have enough room. Or if you invite your friend to do something, make it at an early time like 3 or 4pm. So if they flake on you, you at least have time to do other things. Out of your whole life you'll maybe find 1 or 2 truly Good friends. Everyone else, including family, are not very unreliable.
I've had that "Oh I fell asleep lol" on a day planned that included travelling to a different town to where I lived. Just shows their lack of respect for other people's time and energy
I’m always the most reliable friend- everyone else is flaky so it’s like how do you find people with the same mindset 😭
There should be a test
thank you for making this video. made me feel that I'm not alone. I hate flaky people!
It doesn’t end girly. 36 and it’s the same shit
it never ends does it? Because people are rubbish (on the whole)
Oooooh yeah...
Currently dealing with a flaky friend. All of a sudden to has been blowing me off last min but when another mutual friend ask her to meet up she drops everything and meets up with her. On Saturday I asked the flaky friend if she wanted to go for a walk on Sunday because I was going out to get exercise and fresh air she said I'll keep you posted and never got back to me. Our mutual friend asked her to go for a walk and she dropped everything and met up with her than last min said we are out walking did you want to come? I said nope not interested and than 5 mins later I hear them knocking on my door. Such a slap in the face. I am going to start distancing myself from her. If you don't have time for me I don't have time for you.
"If you don't have time for me I don't have time for you." THAT'S ENERGYYYYY!!
Wise advice from me.. If they say "I'm shocked." Right after you tell the person how you feel or express your argument, BLOCK their ass. That's a total red flag that they don't take you seriously at all!
It's hard, but I've also had to learn to let go of the flakes... which there have been a lot of in my life. I realize that they were draining to my mental health. I've also had a friend said she "fell asleep" and missed my event that she said she'd definitely be at. When I didn't reply, she said, "ok, imma let this slide blah blah blah" she had the nerve to tell me that SHE would let it slide.
Wow 😳
Sounds like a rude friend and self indulged. That’s unfortunate.
This recently just happened to me ! Ex bsf called my phone back to back and I didn’t answer then she sent a text cursing at me and saying she doesn’t need that in her life. And I’m like huuhhhh ?? You literally ignored me and I didn’t come at you like that .. totally disregarded what I said and brought the conversation back to me and what I did wrong
People just care about what makes them look best on their social media. If it’s not Instagram worthy, it’s not worth it to most people. They’re wack
What a queen! And same, you’re not alone.
sick of friends who dont confirm a time, and then 30mins before that they say “see you soon!” when you’ve alry forgotten about it and scheduled something else.
I feel like people sometimes do this to emotionally sabotage you. Usually comes from a type that is insecure already.
"We can eat anywhere you want" = false sense of security. I had a friend tell me "we can meet up whatever time you want" so I suggested a time 1:30pm and then she said "can we make it 2:30pm so that I have extra time. WTF lol! What does this mean? BOUNDARY VIOLATION
Lol, I feel you on this. Not many people I would call 'friend' tbh. As I got older, I no longer do I place such a heavy value on 'best' friendships just because I may have been a friend to several people--does not mean they were 'good' friends to me. Most of my friends moved away and started families of their own so it's not really the same. I had a friend that lived up the street since I was 8...she recently moved and was not my 'best friend' (our mutual friend used to be my best friend turned frienemy) but we maintained our friendship over 20 years so part of me wanted to give up but felt obligated to stay friends given how long we'd known each other. She was very flaky and would even inconvenience me at the last minute! Another thing is, she would say she'd do certain things but then never do them! Lol, she literally asked me to let her know when I'd do something then when I told her--she would say she wasn't interested.
Hello, new subscriber here for ya! Man, I know exactly how you feel. I’m going to start cutting people off, not to hate them but if the relationship is not going to go nowhere why waste my time with them. And if you they truly don’t care about you, they won’t show you any actions. I’ve been ghosted, lied to and it just irritates me and then they wonder I get angry. And there’s times I do need to maybe try to be patient and I’ve tried but they just keep repeating the same behaviors. It’s sad but you just stay strong and hang in there. You’ll find better trustworthy friends! 💕
"Oh I fell asleep, lol" What!!!
I can relate so much to this, subbed!
I’m a sophomore in high school and this is true lol like you kinda start realizing that you don’t really have a Bestfriend because some friends don’t last forever and I learned that freshman year
the MF TRUTH lmaoo and that's only the tip of the iceberg
babyteph yesss 😂‼️
This girl sounds like that one dramatic guy from Tinder (that one time you figured you would lower your standards) you saw 2x and he messages you from a burner number “Hey” 2 years later.
I think she also felt hurt that you didn't keep in touch with her during those months you were busy, and that's why she said that comment. Some people are just not really good at expressing their feelings and thoughts, she might have done that to get back at you and when she saw your post she realized it wasn't that personal and felt bad for doing that. I had this friend who would disappear when she was busy with uni and work and then come back randomly. At first it was whatever but after a while I got tired of it because I needed a friend who was more available so I stopped being friends with her because my needs weren't being met. Just a different perspective of what might have happened.
Haha 😄 you have a real wonderful spirit. Loving ur channel. 💖
I found alot of friends are users.... I can't be doing with that....users and flakes can jog on
LOVE THIS
Im spinning because I feel like you spying on me and retelling my story lol 😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣
You deserve better!!!
I’m not expert but it seems like your friend was trying to gaslight you. I know gaslighting gets over used now a days but I think this is a legit example. Cus if it were me I’d be questioning by myself and thinking “oh maybe I came off too strong” or “oh maybe I should’ve been more clear..” idk stuff like that.
And it’s funny how your friend said “I didn’t know you wanted to hang out that bad… we haven’t been that close blah blah blah” 1. Friends don’t hang out with each other because they feel like one is wanting to hang out super bad, like it’s not a charity event. Friends hangout with each other because they enjoy each other’s company and like building the friendship. 2. If she thought you guys weren’t close but you’re still making efforts to hang out, she’s the one who needs to communicate and say “hey sorry I won’t be able to hang out this break” OR be brave and super direct and say “I feel like we aren’t as close as we used to be and I don’t want to force the friendship if it’s not meant to be, but thank you for inviting me!!” OR Just go hangout like she said she would even if you’re not super close, it’s okay to still healthy socialize with people and not be bffs at the same time
Can you tell this really hit home for me 😅😂
I relate to your video so much, Jaded from weird friendships, but I got God and life is good. I don’t got friends, I got associates period
Flaky people that don’t text back too
She was wrong for standing you up but you did disappear for a couple of months and you did say that you weren't there for her didn't you? So maybe she felt the same way you did when you got her message after graduation
In that case just say you’re too busy to hang out. Don’t make plans then say hater you ‘fell asleep’.
I'm sorry but were these girls from a different race from you?
I don't think that matters.
@@brightmeadow2051 it can sometimes. People tend to respect their own race more.
Good evening Steph, I agree! Flaky friends suck! But I feel you making this video and blocking her on social is exactly the "high school antics" you said you don't like. If you had an honest conversation with her at the time maybe you wouldn't be so upset still because you would have been able to air your feelings. This isn't what adults do. ALSO I don't talk to my "bff" from high school anymore but if she was posting about her mental health I sure as shit would reach out. The memories of us are still there, I'm still able to care for her. I hope you gain some perspective from this situation.
Rad Productions not true at all. It’s called self love and self respect. Flakey friends are toxic. That effects your psyche and self worth covertly. Block all the way.
Listen I feel the same about the whole best friend thing I feel like as an adult is kind of silly to say that you have a best friend I think that's a child thing and the regarding the whole her standing you up I would say that never wait for someone else to make you feel happy or to let you enjoy yourself you should have gone out that day you should have done something for yourself don't ever wait up on anybody else. okay stay safe