We hear you Oliver, growing up in an abusive home really messed me up as well. Nobody speaks of the trauma kids grow up with. My greatest fear when i went to school was finding my mum gone or dead!
I’m in awe of people who have gone through so much heartbreak and manage to preserve their humanity. And to go the extra mile to share your goodness with others is nothing short of heroic!
Never related so much to another person's story. I have struggled to explain the crippling fear I developed because of my family backgroud. Just like you Kagwe, I believe I was not supposed to be an introvert, my environment made me one. Thank you for sharing
In her book Finding Me, Viola Davis writes so extensively how trauma, poverty, abuse, dysfunction etc inherently affects kids. Childhood trauma is deep rooted. But hey, We Find Ourselves and Become Free❤
I resonate with this guy. This is the most traumatising thing that i still fight to date and one never heals completely. It drains your self esteem and make you have have self doubts.
Such a heartbreaking story. So much of it relates. Quite sad how much childhood abuse and trauma takes away from us. Sending you virtual love and hugs ❣️
❤️ thank you for sharing 😊 it's takes alot of courage for people to open up and especially a man 🥺🥺🥺💓💖💖 you are really strong. Am sure you are in the journey of healing and am sure you aim to have a functional family to your kids and wife. Wish you well as you heal from the childhoods traumas.
Your childhood is familiar. There are wicked fathers out there. I know you will treat your own family differently when you finally have one. Your sharing will bless many young men and women. Thank you!
Oliver, no matter what happens, you will always be in my prayers. I must congratulate you for such a bold step to use your story to help someone out there. The lord guide you
Oliver thank you for sharing your story. You got this, you will become the best leader that you never had. Learn from your past and move on - your future is very bright. Sending you love ❤️ and light 💡 Best wishes 🎊
Powerful and inspiring. Keep pursuing your healing and share your story. It will give hope to others who feel stuck with the aftermath of childhood trauma.
You are so brave and have done well by you. I don’t know that I have any words that can even begin to ease the pain sitting deep in your heart. I can only hope one day you will be completely free of it.
Thank you for sharing your story,parents who stay in abusive relationships can now see how damaging it is to the kids,Kagwe please find therapy from a clinical psychologist,this will help you to heal and find freedom
This story is sadly so familiar. Same story, different cast. Unfortunately the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive household never heals. I wish I had something comforting to say.
Well done Oliver for speaking out! I hope we have many couples listening to this and making decisions to stop those traumatising fights in the presence of their children.
my heart breaks for you and what you had to endure. Oliver, I wish you and your sisters well. I am glad that you are doing well. I wish you the very best and
Love and light Oliver. May you heal from the trauma. The introversion you feel isn't really you is a trauma response to keep yourself safe. Have a professional help you process it. It will lift or not take over your life.
Its quite courageous to come out and talk about childhood trauma that was afflicted to us by our parents, especially in our "religious' society where we are told to honor our parents and told that our parents are "our second god". From first hand experience, sometimes there are gory skeletons in the closet
Oliver, your story is relatable on so many levels. I'm happy that you found the courage to share and how much effort you are putting to become a better person. Growing up, I had an almost similar experience. I remember on those nights when I'd hear my dad beating up my mom I'd wake up with so much rage and anger and I'd walk towards their bedroom, knock on the door so loud just so that he could stop beating up my mom. Sometimes it worked but at times it didn't. I'd go back to my bed with my whole body shaking and I just couldn't go back to sleep because I'd imagine that probably I'd wake up to finding my Mom dead in the morning. On 2 occasions, in my sleep, I dreamt that I was trying to stab my dad. But everytime I was just about to make contact with his body (with the knife in my hands), I'd wake up trembling and panting so hard. I later came to realise that that was as a result of the anger I'd been holding in my heart towards him. One day I decided enough is enough and told God to help me get rid of all the anger, bitterness and hate that had piled up inside me towards him. I was tired of it all and sure enough, I've been able to release it over time and to prevent it from ever resurfacing, I decided to keep a distance from him. I cut all contact with him and decided that for my own sanity, it's better if I never visit home. More often than ever, I used to ask my mom why she decided to stay with an abusive partner and she'd always say she did it for us. I wish parents could realise the damage that does to their kids. The memories of the abuse will always be embedded in them and they will always find it difficult to believe that it's possible to find a good partner and build a healthy and happy home for their kids. In her book, "Finding Me", Viola Davis narrates that "Abuse elicits so many memories of trauma that embed themselves into behaviour that is hard to shake. It could be something that happened 40 years ago, but it remains alive and present". And like Oliver said it's difficult to unpack all that trauma in one story. And I sincerely pray that anyone who may have gone through a similar or worse situation will one day get to a place of great healing. As for me, I'm not there yet but I know I'll get there. Sending love, light and hugs to anyone who's in this boat as well 💛
I lost my brother early because he insulted my dad as he was constantly fighting our mum.. God's commandments still applys(to honor and respect yr parent) even if yr they are abusive
Ati what?Your dad killed him for insulting him or how did u loose him? The same bible warns parents not to provoke their children and cause them to sin!
No they don't. If you read further on that scripture it instructs parents not to be cruel to their children. Your brother was murdered by your father. He has blood on his hands. It's not easy to hear, especially because you can never confront him, but your father took an innocent life.
We hear you Oliver, growing up in an abusive home really messed me up as well. Nobody speaks of the trauma kids grow up with. My greatest fear when i went to school was finding my mum gone or dead!
This📌!
I’m in awe of people who have gone through so much heartbreak and manage to preserve their humanity. And to go the extra mile to share your goodness with others is nothing short of heroic!
Never related so much to another person's story. I have struggled to explain the crippling fear I developed because of my family backgroud. Just like you Kagwe, I believe I was not supposed to be an introvert, my environment made me one. Thank you for sharing
In her book Finding Me, Viola Davis writes so extensively how trauma, poverty, abuse, dysfunction etc inherently affects kids.
Childhood trauma is deep rooted. But hey, We Find Ourselves and Become Free❤
Great book, that one
So so sad.. Abusive childhood destroys self esteem.. Thanks for sharing
I resonate with this guy. This is the most traumatising thing that i still fight to date and one never heals completely. It drains your self esteem and make you have have self doubts.
This was heavy. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably Kagwe♡
Such a heartbreaking story. So much of it relates. Quite sad how much childhood abuse and trauma takes away from us. Sending you virtual love and hugs ❣️
You are very courageous, you don't know how many people you are encouraging by telling your story.
You are going far, Godspeed.
❤️ thank you for sharing 😊 it's takes alot of courage for people to open up and especially a man 🥺🥺🥺💓💖💖 you are really strong. Am sure you are in the journey of healing and am sure you aim to have a functional family to your kids and wife. Wish you well as you heal from the childhoods traumas.
😍, thanks for educating and reminding us! You've done amazing 👏
Your childhood is familiar. There are wicked fathers out there. I know you will treat your own family differently when you finally have one. Your sharing will bless many young men and women. Thank you!
Oliver, no matter what happens, you will always be in my prayers.
I must congratulate you for such a bold step to use your story to help someone out there. The lord guide you
Talking out the pain is therapy, a day at time. Congratulations for the small steps you are consciously making towards a better you.
Oliver thank you for sharing your story.
You got this, you will become the best leader that you never had. Learn from your past and move on - your future is very bright. Sending you love ❤️ and light 💡 Best wishes 🎊
Well done Oliver for speaking to us. You are strong, you are enough, you have overcome and you are limitless. God bless you.
This is so heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing son, you are so brave and this is the beginning of your healing.
That's sad😥😥. I am sorry that many out there are going through such tough times
I am just here to remind you that you are strong and outstanding 😭
Inspiring story. You are emerging a champion out of the chaos. Keep shining the light in your space
Oliver you so brave to share your story. Through you many will heal. Yes indeed are you are a Champion. God bless!
Powerful and inspiring. Keep pursuing your healing and share your story. It will give hope to others who feel stuck with the aftermath of childhood trauma.
You are so brave and have done well by you. I don’t know that I have any words that can even begin to ease the pain sitting deep in your heart. I can only hope one day you will be completely free of it.
Hugs dear.. you have a bright future ahead ❤️
So nice of you to share this 😭....so brave
Thank you for sharing your story,parents who stay in abusive relationships can now see how damaging it is to the kids,Kagwe please find therapy from a clinical psychologist,this will help you to heal and find freedom
This story is sadly so familiar. Same story, different cast. Unfortunately the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive household never heals. I wish I had something comforting to say.
Well done Oliver for speaking out! I hope we have many couples listening to this and making decisions to stop those traumatising fights in the presence of their children.
my heart breaks for you and what you had to endure. Oliver, I wish you and your sisters well. I am glad that you are doing well. I wish you the very best and
Love and light Oliver. May you heal from the trauma. The introversion you feel isn't really you is a trauma response to keep yourself safe. Have a professional help you process it. It will lift or not take over your life.
Its quite courageous to come out and talk about childhood trauma that was afflicted to us by our parents, especially in our "religious' society where we are told to honor our parents and told that our parents are "our second god". From first hand experience, sometimes there are gory skeletons in the closet
You have said well, I totally agree with you.
Thank you for sharing your story
Thanks for watching!
Wow!! So amazing!
It shall be well Oliver. Amen. Sorry for that dark past...
Mine is worse I don't even know how I made it here.
My heart goes to you Oliver.I can only empathize with your traumatic childhood.
Oliver, your story is relatable on so many levels. I'm happy that you found the courage to share and how much effort you are putting to become a better person.
Growing up, I had an almost similar experience. I remember on those nights when I'd hear my dad beating up my mom I'd wake up with so much rage and anger and I'd walk towards their bedroom, knock on the door so loud just so that he could stop beating up my mom. Sometimes it worked but at times it didn't. I'd go back to my bed with my whole body shaking and I just couldn't go back to sleep because I'd imagine that probably I'd wake up to finding my Mom dead in the morning.
On 2 occasions, in my sleep, I dreamt that I was trying to stab my dad. But everytime I was just about to make contact with his body (with the knife in my hands), I'd wake up trembling and panting so hard. I later came to realise that that was as a result of the anger I'd been holding in my heart towards him. One day I decided enough is enough and told God to help me get rid of all the anger, bitterness and hate that had piled up inside me towards him. I was tired of it all and sure enough, I've been able to release it over time and to prevent it from ever resurfacing, I decided to keep a distance from him. I cut all contact with him and decided that for my own sanity, it's better if I never visit home.
More often than ever, I used to ask my mom why she decided to stay with an abusive partner and she'd always say she did it for us. I wish parents could realise the damage that does to their kids. The memories of the abuse will always be embedded in them and they will always find it difficult to believe that it's possible to find a good partner and build a healthy and happy home for their kids.
In her book, "Finding Me", Viola Davis narrates that "Abuse elicits so many memories of trauma that embed themselves into behaviour that is hard to shake. It could be something that happened 40 years ago, but it remains alive and present". And like Oliver said it's difficult to unpack all that trauma in one story.
And I sincerely pray that anyone who may have gone through a similar or worse situation will one day get to a place of great healing. As for me, I'm not there yet but I know I'll get there.
Sending love, light and hugs to anyone who's in this boat as well 💛
Thank you for sharing your story, and yes, you will get there.
I'd love to connect with Oliver
Your best days are ahead of you.
Me too Oliver
Weh! I can relate to this torturous life to some extent... 😏
This story is soooo incomplete...what happened to your mum...your dad...you left us hanging.
Appreciate the in4 shared!
I lost my brother early because he insulted my dad as he was constantly fighting our mum.. God's commandments still applys(to honor and respect yr parent) even if yr they are abusive
Reason mums should just leave the abusive marriages
Ati what?Your dad killed him for insulting him or how did u loose him? The same bible warns parents not to provoke their children and cause them to sin!
No they don't. If you read further on that scripture it instructs parents not to be cruel to their children.
Your brother was murdered by your father. He has blood on his hands. It's not easy to hear, especially because you can never confront him, but your father took an innocent life.
@@damakim9296
This is what I also know of that scripture.
🫂🫂 thanks GOD you can share it as a story,this is healing