Quarantine Content is Getting WEIRD - KISSING The CORONAVIRUS

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  • čas přidán 4. 10. 2020
  • Why.
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Komentáře • 2,9K

  • @OneToxicPixel
    @OneToxicPixel Před 3 lety +7119

    This book was probably written with the following premise in mind:
    If you can't beat it, f*ck it.

  • @CrimsonShadowVA
    @CrimsonShadowVA Před 3 lety +3372

    Lady, when we heard about the virus and said “we’re f**ked,” this is not what we meant.

  • @celestialenigma7434
    @celestialenigma7434 Před 3 lety +1943

    *Beginning of the book:* 19 ferrets
    *End of book:* 18 ferrets
    what happened there

    • @jptata3161
      @jptata3161 Před 3 lety +192

      Obviously she sold enough copies to buy another ferret.

    • @appletonfamily3520
      @appletonfamily3520 Před 3 lety +173

      Someone got a little too hungry....

    • @laynegrey2003
      @laynegrey2003 Před 3 lety +177

      Rip Ferret #19

    • @skygard49
      @skygard49 Před 3 lety +30

      CoRoNaViRuS

    • @d.n5287
      @d.n5287 Před 3 lety +114

      Here lies #19 it's ovaries clashed together like cymbals.

  • @ichbinben.
    @ichbinben. Před 3 lety +2105

    "made her ovaries clash together" ... I think my ovaries just clashed together at hearing this sentence. Just thinking about this is painful.

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 Před 3 lety +138

      I don't even know how that happens. Testes maybe, but ovaries? It doesn't even work as a metaphor because it doesn't sound pleasant at all.

    • @zyaicob
      @zyaicob Před 3 lety +104

      I don't have ovaries but even I can feel there's something fundamentally wrong with that sentence

    • @antknees5597
      @antknees5597 Před 3 lety +27

      mine did the same, and im a cis male

    • @drawnwithlove3499
      @drawnwithlove3499 Před 3 lety +87

      @@zyaicob well...
      1) Ovaries are on the inside of the body
      2) they are not like testes that have skin, they're regular internal organs and are thus very fragile
      3) they are very far away as they are on each side of the uterus, so clashing them together would be biologically catastrophic

    • @18Hongo
      @18Hongo Před 3 lety +8

      That's the sort of thing I'd expect from a Rocky Flintstone novel.

  • @eebomcgeebo2421
    @eebomcgeebo2421 Před 3 lety +2723

    HE’S MEAN
    HE’S GREEN
    HE’S COVID-19

  • @ipreferalfredo9874
    @ipreferalfredo9874 Před 3 lety +4320

    An erotica called “Kissing the Coronavirus” is the exact kind of novella to be written by someone who also owns nineteen ferrets.

    • @PresidentFunnyValentine
      @PresidentFunnyValentine Před 3 lety +135

      That's 18 too many ferrets from what is considered normal.

    • @jikij2626
      @jikij2626 Před 3 lety +12

      One like to 666

    • @Highonwater3X
      @Highonwater3X Před 3 lety +93

      Hey, ferrets are great. Don't blame the ferrets.
      Also two is about normal.

    • @Kmkmkms
      @Kmkmkms Před 3 lety +57

      Thats 1 ferrett too much
      What kind of psycho gets more than the normal 18 amounts of ferrets

    • @cosmicandy4620
      @cosmicandy4620 Před 3 lety +37

      @@Kmkmkms ferrets do better in groups of two

  • @teifan6674
    @teifan6674 Před 3 lety +2859

    Me, an autistic who already spends most of their time alone: man, I wonder how the neurotypicals are doing during isolation
    The neurotypicals:

    • @fabplays6559
      @fabplays6559 Před 3 lety +139

      Ayy fellow autistic person!! Hi, I am enjoying my free alone time with no pressure to have to go socialise because of the pandemic. :D

    • @softnoobgirl73
      @softnoobgirl73 Před 3 lety +50

      Hi fellow atustic person

    • @charlieisntthere7328
      @charlieisntthere7328 Před 3 lety +23

      why hello

    • @onecrispyfrie1932
      @onecrispyfrie1932 Před 3 lety +39

      Yep. I only need to socialize with my online friends

    • @leaflu3601
      @leaflu3601 Před 3 lety +22

      Autistics unite

  • @robertrulebirtannia
    @robertrulebirtannia Před 3 lety +2016

    "You were supposed to destroy the coronavirus, NOT SHAG IT!"

  • @francesgardner7070
    @francesgardner7070 Před 3 lety +4268

    “His eyes were striking like a goat’s but without the sideways pupils” there’s no way this wasn’t written as a joke

    • @emilysyoutubechannel2259
      @emilysyoutubechannel2259 Před 3 lety +306

      Omg that part had me rolling. She really did a great job taking the piss out of everyone.

    • @theblackkittie13
      @theblackkittie13 Před 3 lety +162

      Yeah, every one has fantasies about goat eyed man 😳😳😳😣

    • @roselover411
      @roselover411 Před 3 lety +184

      Since the whole thing about goat's eyes being striking is *because* of sideways pupils, I have to wonder how they are still "striking" without that.

    • @zinzolin14
      @zinzolin14 Před 3 lety +36

      Author must find goat eyes striking I guess 🤨

    • @francesgardner7070
      @francesgardner7070 Před 3 lety +16

      roselover411 maybe they’re rectangles still but vertical?

  • @michaelsriqui7898
    @michaelsriqui7898 Před 3 lety +2121

    So can we all agree that this book is proof that social distancing and self isolation is finally driving people insane.

    • @sleepysera
      @sleepysera Před 3 lety +91

      Well the author description said she was having a lot of sex during quarantine, so she was most certainly not distancing from at least one other person ;)

    • @janwel74
      @janwel74 Před 3 lety +89

      @SleepySera Now I’m worried for the ferrets...

    • @mariunfabregas7533
      @mariunfabregas7533 Před 3 lety +43

      @@janwel74 oh God no💀

    • @somerandolad
      @somerandolad Před 3 lety +41

      We were all insane before the outbreak had even started.

    • @CheshieD
      @CheshieD Před 3 lety +22

      Idk man.... anyone who just has 19 ferrets is prrrooooobably already a lil on the edge

  • @adora6769
    @adora6769 Před 3 lety +1021

    The dislikes are from the author’s ferrets using multiple accounts.

  • @DracoMalfoy-ty4pt
    @DracoMalfoy-ty4pt Před 3 lety +313

    "The bulge in his trouser was almost like a medium sized python"
    💀💀💀💀💀

  • @fullmetaltheorist
    @fullmetaltheorist Před 3 lety +4665

    **Romance novel between a woman and coronavirus exists**
    Me : "Do you ever think that God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he created?"

  • @LindsayEllisVids
    @LindsayEllisVids Před 3 lety +9443

    okay I'm sorry "Covid-19th Century" is genius

    • @Jeanyinwonderland
      @Jeanyinwonderland Před 3 lety +203

      love this crossover💖
      my two queens 👸

    • @LoveNeko64
      @LoveNeko64 Před 3 lety +19

      Why is there not more comments here?

    • @ruriva4931
      @ruriva4931 Před 3 lety +13

      Truly

    • @fullmetaltheorist
      @fullmetaltheorist Před 3 lety +18

      Hi Lindsay

    • @Mewobiba
      @Mewobiba Před 3 lety +76

      Honestly by the description and last page, Courting the Coronavirus sounds like it might actually be pretty funny.

  • @JayStCloud
    @JayStCloud Před 3 lety +542

    This is basically the reason why Thanos did what he did on Infinity War.

    • @nicolepenkwit6530
      @nicolepenkwit6530 Před 3 lety +8

      😂😂Epic Comment

    • @titismith4955
      @titismith4955 Před 3 lety +6

      At this point I truly understand why he wanted to kill half the world

    • @Eleni1002
      @Eleni1002 Před 3 lety +9

      @@titismith4955 Scratch that, at this point I understand why he wanted to destroy the entire universe in Endgame.

    • @LadiesHideYourMans
      @LadiesHideYourMans Před 2 lety +1

      this book is literally just "People died Kim!"

  • @Missstarpro16
    @Missstarpro16 Před 3 lety +1586

    Today in: The Straights Are Not Okay

    • @WitchyCharlie
      @WitchyCharlie Před 3 lety +13

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @celeste7306
      @celeste7306 Před 3 lety +27

      That sent me to the moon 💀

    • @Sid_Vintage
      @Sid_Vintage Před 3 lety +7

      Lmaoooo

    • @g.h.j.y2259
      @g.h.j.y2259 Před 3 lety +20

      Yeah, we're not okay 😂

    • @csodapaci
      @csodapaci Před 3 lety +74

      Bold of you to assume there's no gay version of this story.
      Edit: "Scissoring the Coronavirus", you're welcome.
      Edit2: "My Handsome Sentient Face Mask Protects Me Despite The Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories That He Won't Also He ..... My Butt" I...think we all went crazy.

  • @silversteinmma
    @silversteinmma Před 3 lety +3932

    19 ferrets. that is significantly more than what would be considered too many ferrets.

    • @emfontenay5875
      @emfontenay5875 Před 3 lety +182

      LIES! *slams fists on table* that is exactly not enough ferretage- ONE MUST COLLECT ALL THE FERRETS YE CAN!!!

    • @MeCooper
      @MeCooper Před 3 lety +52

      ...I don't want to imagine the smell...
      But I want anyone who reads this to automatically imagine the smell as they read that. 👍 Enjoy!

    • @MeCooper
      @MeCooper Před 3 lety +15

      13:36 ...Oh... Um... Well I guess there isn't 19 anymore... 😅

    • @sam4gaming135
      @sam4gaming135 Před 3 lety +39

      3 is probably the max for any pet ( unless it's fish or a horse, or illegal)

    • @bquncy550
      @bquncy550 Před 3 lety +35

      COVID-19 ferrets

  • @nalsium2828
    @nalsium2828 Před 3 lety +1259

    "The two biggest parts of her life at that moment: The virus and sex."
    "She lives in Surrey with her husband and *nineteen ferrets"*

    • @unicornburgers302
      @unicornburgers302 Před 3 lety +172

      Maybe The Virus, and Sex are the names of her favorite ferrets 🙃

    • @donghyucksmom2413
      @donghyucksmom2413 Před 3 lety +42

      @@unicornburgers302 OMG STOP hahaha

    • @haldanandpako2755
      @haldanandpako2755 Před 3 lety +38

      What are the ferrets fo- you know what, never mind.

    • @nalsium2828
      @nalsium2828 Před 3 lety +30

      @@haldanandpako2755 Shh. Don't worry about it

    • @janthesparrowhawk2557
      @janthesparrowhawk2557 Před 3 lety +36

      fun fact: female ferrets in heat will get lethal infections and die if left ‘unattended’.
      do with that info what you will

  • @ezra8129
    @ezra8129 Před 3 lety +556

    I love how youtube linked Covid resources like we're gonna watch this video thinking it's spitting straight facts.

  • @LuciferMorningstar-qq4nv
    @LuciferMorningstar-qq4nv Před 3 lety +855

    His passion was contagious
    His love was deadly
    When he was around she felt it was harder and harder to breath
    She refused to use protection
    Am I doing this right? Is this how people get rich???

    • @msjkramey
      @msjkramey Před 3 lety +126

      You're off to a good start. And keep the breath/breathe typo in there, too. These people never have good editors or editors at all. It'll make you seem more authentic lol

    • @LuciferMorningstar-qq4nv
      @LuciferMorningstar-qq4nv Před 3 lety +94

      @@msjkramey damn! I need to add more typos and throw an inner goddess there for good measure

    • @lucianacarvalho3136
      @lucianacarvalho3136 Před 3 lety +40

      I'm rooting for you to get all the money you deserve, it's already better than *some* books I've read

    • @crakandra9672
      @crakandra9672 Před 3 lety +19

      LOL thats what im sayiing. Just write a terrible book, keep the price low and watch the money come in

    • @nicolepenkwit6530
      @nicolepenkwit6530 Před 3 lety +14

      😂😂 Build a questionable story about it you will be the Next E. L. James

  • @hawkins347
    @hawkins347 Před 3 lety +3458

    This is the weirdest the Hulk origin story I've ever heard.

  • @PhillipOnTakos
    @PhillipOnTakos Před 3 lety +854

    Why does kissing the Corona Virus sounds like a parody of romantic novels? I mean the tag line of "She was supposed to cure to virus instead she fell in love with it" that's like parody material right there. I really wish it was.

    • @reverland735
      @reverland735 Před 3 lety +73

      Part of me is praying this book is a satire of romance novels-
      Nope I think the writer is 100% serious

    • @arandomuser540
      @arandomuser540 Před 3 lety +68

      Im pretty sure it’s actually satire at least that’s what the people on Goodreads and reddit said lmao

    • @keithredacted8154
      @keithredacted8154 Před 3 lety +36

      Do you people really think books like this are serious. This is a genre.

    • @CheshieD
      @CheshieD Před 3 lety +16

      Keith Redacted you never know dude... some people are uh... **inhale** ya know?

    • @Monie71793
      @Monie71793 Před 3 lety +7

      @@keithredacted8154 Yes. EL James exists.

  • @blankpsycho6533
    @blankpsycho6533 Před 3 lety +651

    “They just painted a man green,” well, the painted most of a man green. *looks at his hands.

  • @anaki567
    @anaki567 Před 3 lety +518

    Are we ignoring “Alexa and Covid remained in their embracing embrace”?

  • @ballesteroslara3122
    @ballesteroslara3122 Před 3 lety +195

    literally this is a toxic relationship

    • @jaxj968
      @jaxj968 Před 3 lety +5

      Literally so underrated

  • @OneTopic
    @OneTopic Před 3 lety +4669

    You have now said the sentence:
    “...Your Boss’s Pwee Pwee.”
    Why hath you done this.

    • @dotexemachina
      @dotexemachina Před 3 lety +60

      OT!

    • @jellomiki
      @jellomiki Před 3 lety +59

      I suggest auto-hypnosis to forget about this sentence, or this whole book...

    • @bee8632
      @bee8632 Před 3 lety +43

      **That one meme Beyonce meme**
      𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙏𝙊𝙋𝙄𝘾?!

    • @its_just_seb
      @its_just_seb Před 3 lety +16

      One Topic????

    • @BFFforu
      @BFFforu Před 3 lety +50

      I would have expected the Click here, not you

  • @emilleoandresen
    @emilleoandresen Před 3 lety +448

    "Doctor Gurtlychund was small and had a funny moustache..." and now I'm picturing Doctor Mario.

  • @danielwestgames6746
    @danielwestgames6746 Před 3 lety +977

    Can’t wait for the prequel: Kissing the Great Plague.

    • @backpug1228
      @backpug1228 Před 3 lety +37

      Nah..." Booty shake for the Black Plaque.

    • @peggy3095
      @peggy3095 Před 3 lety +77

      Banging the Black Death

    • @drawnwithlove3499
      @drawnwithlove3499 Před 3 lety +57

      Ploughing the Polio Virus

    • @18Hongo
      @18Hongo Před 3 lety +36

      Tarrying with Typhoid.

    • @BimmieJames
      @BimmieJames Před 3 lety +22

      Nah- “Rompin’ with the Retro(virus)”

  • @tyler-nicholeharris5381
    @tyler-nicholeharris5381 Před 3 lety +1299

    I can't wait for the sequel, "Pregnant with the Coronavirus"

    • @KateeAngel
      @KateeAngel Před 3 lety +53

      All infected cells are in fact "pregnant" with virus, with thousands of viral particles, which then get released outside

    • @tprime2702
      @tprime2702 Před 3 lety +15

      @@KateeAngel
      Actually, SARS-betaCovid2 is an ssRNA polarity positive virus. The taxonomy of this virus type means that it delivers its payload directly to chemical receptor sites without the need to "impregnate" nearby cells. It simply latches to the correct receptor site using its protein spiked envelope and begins to release its chemical payload. It inhibits the correct receptors from binding. It feeds and replicates via extraction and reconstitution of rNA from nearby cell structures. In essence, it's closer to the likeness of the Carnage/Venom symbiote from 90's Spiderman.
      Very few viral strains procreate in the method of injecting their own viral strain and "impregnating" other cells. Usually, this is only T7 bacteriophages, and then, only to bacterial cells.

    • @user_name_Len
      @user_name_Len Před 3 lety +16

      The baby will become the cure

    • @ladreamer6259
      @ladreamer6259 Před 3 lety +7

      Little rona

    • @christinechesse8777
      @christinechesse8777 Před 3 lety +5

      T Prime -This comment is sexier than the book.

  • @randomfoxyboi8687
    @randomfoxyboi8687 Před 3 lety +264

    This makes wattpad fanfics look like classic works of literature

  • @Gulaghar
    @Gulaghar Před 3 lety +318

    "I am still gonna try to keep this monetized."
    You are extremely optimistic.

    • @jordanthejq12
      @jordanthejq12 Před 3 lety +8

      Yeah, like...doesn't CZcams auto-demonetize anything that even SAYS either name of the virus?

    • @curefestive1774
      @curefestive1774 Před 3 lety +10

      Coronavirus: Banned on CZcams.
      CZcams: We did it boys, Coronavirus is no more.

  • @disastermidi1990
    @disastermidi1990 Před 3 lety +336

    This makes me want to create a pseudonym that lives in NYC with her 19 armadillos and write smutty ebooks too

    • @amandas2639
      @amandas2639 Před 3 lety +19

      Live your dreams, boo.

    • @animatorireenie8319
      @animatorireenie8319 Před 3 lety +4

      You go, bro

    • @jinfox8182
      @jinfox8182 Před 3 lety +8

      This made it to Amazon. Gosh, 365 dni made it to Netflix. Just go, dude, a *lot* was possible before but at this point *everything* is

    • @annaliebdubino
      @annaliebdubino Před 2 lety +2

      omg 🤣😂🤣😂

  • @nistheelf
    @nistheelf Před 3 lety +427

    I’m almost 99% sure this author is trolling but if she isn’t she needs serious help 🤣

    • @disastermidi1990
      @disastermidi1990 Před 3 lety +16

      It sounds like a lot of fun to write tho lol

    • @ghostdagreat
      @ghostdagreat Před 3 lety +13

      After the "nineteen ferrets" part I figured it was a really fun troll to help her get thru the coronavirus

  • @jedh3721
    @jedh3721 Před 3 lety +532

    This was definitely written by a woman with 19 ferrets.

  • @cathygrandstaff1957
    @cathygrandstaff1957 Před 3 lety +197

    She must have really hated her boss for her reaction to be “you killed my boss? Awesome, let’s bone”.

    • @sunsetskye483
      @sunsetskye483 Před 3 lety +14

      She spent an unreasonably long time talking about how much she _wasn’t_ attracted to him, so I’m not surprised

  • @a_pompom
    @a_pompom Před 3 lety +53

    “19 ferrets” was all the explanation I needed for this monstrosity

  • @sammyi2505
    @sammyi2505 Před 3 lety +937

    Look, I know it's terribly written, in poor taste, and not erotic in the slightest... but I haven't genuinely laughed this hard in *months.* Bless you M. J. Edwards, I wish you and your eighteen ferrets well.
    Edit: I'm aware it's 19 ferrets now, but I'm keeping the post at 18 so y'all who've been commenting the number "19" don't seem crazy.

    • @abbywolffe4114
      @abbywolffe4114 Před 3 lety +165

      How dare you forget the nineteenth ferret

    • @jessiem7673
      @jessiem7673 Před 3 lety +166

      Their husband is the nineteenth ferret

    • @Lyndiloo
      @Lyndiloo Před 3 lety +15

      Please check out Chuck Tingle's books if you need a pickmeup!

    • @idontneedaname318
      @idontneedaname318 Před 3 lety +42

      it's fucking hilarious everyone is taking it so seriously and I'm just laughing at the absurdity

    • @ZBBBlL
      @ZBBBlL Před 3 lety +10

      @@idontneedaname318 No no no. People taking it seriously is the part of the fun. Don't shame them. I need this as much as possible.

  • @thisgirl7024
    @thisgirl7024 Před 3 lety +369

    I did not realize how blessed I was five minutes ago when I lived in a world where I didn’t know these books existed 😭

    • @v-mouse
      @v-mouse Před 3 lety +3

      Go watch the Video from caleb Joseph. That will help 😉

  • @Volta_Mars
    @Volta_Mars Před 3 lety +141

    "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat." the novel.

  • @butters796
    @butters796 Před 3 lety +46

    "Have you become erotic fiction writers?"
    Actually yeah. Decided to start a completely trash self insert novel for profit. If others can do it, fuck it I will, too.

  • @wraein
    @wraein Před 3 lety +1402

    I've read free Wattpad stories with better characterization and writing

    • @mixedbagmixesmusic1967
      @mixedbagmixesmusic1967 Před 3 lety +112

      I've read an Undertale X-Reader that was better than this

    • @haldanandpako2755
      @haldanandpako2755 Před 3 lety +140

      I’ve read fan fiction based on fan fiction that was better than this

    • @liviwaslost
      @liviwaslost Před 3 lety +95

      I’ve read wattpad smut better than this

    • @agarotaestatueta2811
      @agarotaestatueta2811 Před 3 lety +31

      But, men, in Wattpad, it gets so worse somedays.

    • @rosemilan3149
      @rosemilan3149 Před 3 lety +39

      I've read bts × reader smut better than this.

  • @aukefif7329
    @aukefif7329 Před 3 lety +856

    "I'm sure there's a lot of people writing depraved fiction out there right now"
    Ma'am, the fanfictions I've seen in this quarantine, you would not believe it.

    • @mrsscreamgirl5332
      @mrsscreamgirl5332 Před 3 lety +13

      Can you give us a worst of?

    • @aukefif7329
      @aukefif7329 Před 3 lety +93

      @@mrsscreamgirl5332 well, depravity Omegaverse heat Quarantine fanfics aside, the all time worst would be BLM Protest Alternate Universe Fanfic. That was a thing. Cop!Kirishima x Protester!Bakugou too.

    • @timetravelingconman
      @timetravelingconman Před 3 lety +33

      oh god

    • @nightrose6116
      @nightrose6116 Před 3 lety +36

      Aukefi F holy shit I’m about to crydjfjskks

    • @dog_boy5123
      @dog_boy5123 Před 3 lety +26

      I have several questions about this

  • @dinosaysrawr
    @dinosaysrawr Před 3 lety +111

    "Laugh one minute and be disappointed the next" is 2020 in a nutshell.
    Also, "Gurtlychund" sounds like a C- attempt at an Indian surname. :D

    • @hatemteirelbar9510
      @hatemteirelbar9510 Před 3 lety +11

      Nah homie it sounds like some Harry Potter bullshit

    • @greenapple1470
      @greenapple1470 Před 3 lety +10

      Sounds straight up like a german name

    • @krissym4011
      @krissym4011 Před 3 lety +3

      @@greenapple1470 As a German, it sounds like it could be Dutch if you really stretch it.

    • @francescapatti2934
      @francescapatti2934 Před 2 lety

      It sounds like Swedish or STH to me

  • @magazinetoraver1587
    @magazinetoraver1587 Před 3 lety +72

    “I kissed a virus and I liked it. The taste of his green lips it felt so wrong it felt so right” for some reason my head came up with this so yea....

  • @sadcatbridge
    @sadcatbridge Před 3 lety +253

    Amanda: he's green, he's mean
    Me: he's covid-19

  • @kaemincha
    @kaemincha Před 3 lety +241

    This woman really said "Release my crack fic for public consumption." And I respect that.

  • @OblivionTemplar
    @OblivionTemplar Před 3 lety +58

    I like the idea of the CDC meeting up and being like " wear masks!" " Wash hands for twenty seconds!" random guy in corner " uhhh...has anyone tried to fuck it?"

  • @SonjaPond
    @SonjaPond Před 3 lety +56

    “A HOT MAN-DOG”
    “LOVE LOTION”

  • @azuzena5831
    @azuzena5831 Před 3 lety +283

    mom come pick me up i'm scared

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 Před 3 lety +23

      Mom says she can't, her and Covid are busy, it will be 30 minutes to a couple hours depending on how bad her pneumonia gets

  • @AmandaTheJedi
    @AmandaTheJedi  Před 3 lety +511

    Guys CZcams is providing some helpful information about covid under this video but I think I can add one.
    DON'T ENGAGE IN RELATIONS with the virus. You're welcome.
    In all seriousness, I hope you and your loved ones are doing well in these absolutely batshit times, stay safe!

    • @rainrahman4024
      @rainrahman4024 Před 3 lety +17

      damn there goes my friday plans

    • @haileyharmon5298
      @haileyharmon5298 Před 3 lety

      Good thing I've never went near the virus.

    • @kawaiicartoons4454
      @kawaiicartoons4454 Před 3 lety +2

      Great! Now i gotta go cancel my plans for saturday

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny Před 3 lety +2

      Tell us you've got this story _all_ wrong? The _entire thing_ was simply a demented fever dream.... right? Pretty please?? 😣

    • @natkai
      @natkai Před 3 lety +5

      Too late, already did. And now I'm expecting its baby. Obviously I'm now obligated to write an awful novel about it ;)

  • @turthurt5857
    @turthurt5857 Před 3 lety +233

    “made her ovaries clash together like cymbals”
    *OMFG*

  • @thom_is_trans
    @thom_is_trans Před 3 lety +119

    "warble: (verb) sing softly and with a succession of constantly changing notes."
    Uhhh...I have questions.

  • @TheMovieKnightProductions
    @TheMovieKnightProductions Před 3 lety +745

    Bet you anything Netflix will take this one up in a few years.

    • @carlajenkins1990
      @carlajenkins1990 Před 3 lety +35

      It'd fit right into their lineup! Terrible is the only requirement.

    • @toryficarola
      @toryficarola Před 3 lety +13

      I sincerely hope so.....I want to experience this on TV someday with the Mrs. >:p

    • @maxschendell7630
      @maxschendell7630 Před 3 lety +10

      The lower the quality the better

    • @user-xn9vp3xe4x
      @user-xn9vp3xe4x Před 3 lety +7

      God forbid it. I don't want this story to be popular.

    • @KuLaydMahn
      @KuLaydMahn Před 3 lety +2

      I sure as hell hope so - and the sooner the better!

  • @bing0b0ng0
    @bing0b0ng0 Před 3 lety +94

    2017: the shape of water
    2020: the shape of covid

  • @sms2095
    @sms2095 Před 3 lety +37

    The story sounds like it's been written by an AI. Especially the part where the Virus first says that it doesn't know who it is but then just straight up says: yep, i know who I am.

  • @NVRMRE
    @NVRMRE Před 2 lety +9

    I love how utterly sarcastic this story feels. Like she typed Thicc with two c's. she knew.

  • @EatinPaste
    @EatinPaste Před 3 lety +356

    Both books have covers where the lady looks like she's getting off with the Hulk. And yet, whenever the virus is shown in the media and whatnot it's red. Or at least has red on it. They handed that to you and a Goddamn silver plater.

    • @rilmar2137
      @rilmar2137 Před 3 lety +33

      This and red is associated with love/passion/erotica

    • @tymondabrowski12
      @tymondabrowski12 Před 3 lety +36

      In the media I've seen there was a lot (really a lot) of green ones though, too. It might depend on the country or what some is reading/watching etc.

    • @EatinPaste
      @EatinPaste Před 3 lety +12

      @@tymondabrowski12 Well I'm in the UK and whenever I've seen it it's straight up red or mostly red.

    • @katherineeaster5799
      @katherineeaster5799 Před 3 lety +18

      Maybe they didn’t anyone thinking it was the Devil or a demon. I don’t know. There’s probably no explanation.

    • @anopinion1349
      @anopinion1349 Před 3 lety +2

      I've only seen it green sometimes green with red tips
      Im in California

  • @thatsmyOPINION
    @thatsmyOPINION Před 3 lety +297

    Hot man-dog sounds like a science hybrid abomination

  • @MakaylaTomasi
    @MakaylaTomasi Před 3 lety +22

    It is content like this that leads me to continually believe that the literal ONLY reason I'm not a famous author is just because I _haven't finished _*_writing_*_ a book._ That's it. That's gotta be the only reason. BECAUSE SO MUCH OF _THIS_ IS ON THE _MARKET,_ MAN!

  • @artmecraftyou946
    @artmecraftyou946 Před 3 lety +77

    Every time Amanda questions her life decisions about reading the book, I question mine about watching this video. Like, I could have completely avoided ever clicking on this video. I could have clicked off in middle at any time... But it's like a train wreak. You know you're going to see horrible things, heck you might be in path of it, but you just can't look away.
    I ❤️ you, Amanda. But what have either of us done to disserve this? Why do you do this to me AND to yourself?

    • @tosinakin2508
      @tosinakin2508 Před 3 lety +2

      Ad revenue (and the lols). We've all gotta eat.

  • @ElCharles777
    @ElCharles777 Před 3 lety +841

    "Covid-19th Century"...
    Why are we doing this to ourselves
    Like

  • @nogahbarouch938
    @nogahbarouch938 Před 3 lety +342

    The straights are not ok....

    • @opalishmoth8591
      @opalishmoth8591 Před 3 lety +39

      Are they ever?

    • @parisheidi3119
      @parisheidi3119 Před 3 lety +10

      Hahahaahahha 😂😂🤣🤣

    • @user-hn5zw8nq9m
      @user-hn5zw8nq9m Před 3 lety +35

      they haven't been able to go to barbecues all summer long and it's finally driven them insane

    • @stupidass69420
      @stupidass69420 Před 3 lety +14

      \\ not just barbecues
      *ITS THE BAR TOO*

    • @nogahbarouch938
      @nogahbarouch938 Před 3 lety +16

      @@stupidass69420 to quote a literary masterpiece "[a place where you can] party like the little whore she was at the fraternities and sororities" 2:39

  • @nicholascapell2397
    @nicholascapell2397 Před 3 lety +30

    I like the Covid-19 fact check CZcams added. Thanks, I was at risk of thinking this story was real and CZcams saved my life.

  • @krys9463
    @krys9463 Před 3 lety +47

    **During a zoom chat**
    Friend: I want to go outside! F*ck this virus!
    M.J Edwards: **Inspired gasp** thats a great idea!
    Friend: ....what?

  • @elvingearmasterirma7241
    @elvingearmasterirma7241 Před 3 lety +924

    The depraved fiction I'm writing isn't even being uploaded. Because I have something called... Shame?
    And self awareness?
    Though I have to admire M.J's... Guts? Bravery?? I don't know.
    I just know
    I dont like it

    • @AmandaTheJedi
      @AmandaTheJedi  Před 3 lety +393

      Don't let your dreams be lost Amazon revenue, get your money

    • @elvingearmasterirma7241
      @elvingearmasterirma7241 Před 3 lety +136

      @@AmandaTheJedi Don't tempt me like this.
      My future employer might just find it.

    • @Insert.Oregano
      @Insert.Oregano Před 3 lety +88

      @@elvingearmasterirma7241 use a pseudonym

    • @realitysend
      @realitysend Před 3 lety +80

      Can we all just bully ElvinGearMaster into publishing this thing?
      Maybe Amanda will review it if it is good/bad enough. (Strive for both~!)

    • @blankonga
      @blankonga Před 3 lety +31

      go for it! if someone can write about doing the nasty with a virus or real dinosaurs you can too.

  • @amberfurlow6217
    @amberfurlow6217 Před 3 lety +125

    Imagine asking a girl out she answered, "No I'm dating Covid..."

    • @bonniea8189
      @bonniea8189 Před 3 lety

      @SweetLuna Apparently someone in California got personalized license plates for two cars with Hindi words for "mother" and "f#@ker" and when the California Dept of Motor Vehicles caught on they sent a notice stating that the "f#@ker" license plate would have to be exchanged. So... There's hope, maybe, that the Covid name will get addressed. Corona was already a surname, so that one might be left alone. Then again, people name their kids random crap all the time, so probably not.

  • @SabrinaRina
    @SabrinaRina Před 3 lety +46

    "I-I just died in your arms tonight..." you shouldn't take COVID to bed.
    The regular death, not the Shakespearean "little death."

  • @artimiss1238
    @artimiss1238 Před 3 lety +12

    Reminds me of that old meme “You’re supposed to slay the dragon, not lay the dragon!”
    The extraverts have really lost their minds

  • @madeline3868
    @madeline3868 Před 3 lety +82

    7:46 the final straw for me was the unironic use of the word thicc

    • @notpukicho2950
      @notpukicho2950 Před 3 lety +18

      what makes you say this whole book is unironic

  • @rae8961
    @rae8961 Před 3 lety +329

    I can't believe people can actually have the guts to publish this stuff 🤣 kissing the coronavirus?!

  • @edsp666
    @edsp666 Před 3 lety +12

    Imagine going through the horrendous trauma of losing a loved one to covid and then finding out this exists....

  • @matrixiekitty2127
    @matrixiekitty2127 Před 3 lety +50

    I heard “love lotion” and I wanted to throw my phone across that room that is so not it sis

    • @cremetangerine82
      @cremetangerine82 Před 3 lety +10

      It reminds me of Patton Oswalt’s comedy bit about clean smut sounding grosser than saying the “vulgar” terms:
      “I’m gonna fill your hoo-ha with goof juice!”

    • @krimsonkarma8412
      @krimsonkarma8412 Před 3 lety +6

      @@cremetangerine82 Oh god that's horrible

  • @Valdagast
    @Valdagast Před 3 lety +712

    There's also a considerable body of literature of dinosaur erotica.

    • @fivefoxesinatrenchcoat1744
      @fivefoxesinatrenchcoat1744 Před 3 lety +144

      And the titles are comedy gold. The best titles are “The Billionaire Dinosaur Turned Me GAY”, “Pimp Dino”, “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”, “Horny Thumbs of the Iguanadon” and “Pharma Bro Pounded in the Butt by Comedian T-Rex Bill Murky and a Clan of Triceratops Rappers Trying to Get Their Album Back”.

    • @crashrose6128
      @crashrose6128 Před 3 lety +19

      Gotta love Chuck Tingle lol

    • @sashasparroww
      @sashasparroww Před 3 lety +37

      keep Chuck out of this we respect one erotica author only
      but legit he's actually denounced this entirely because he feels it's capitalizing on a tragedy

    • @ejedwards988
      @ejedwards988 Před 3 lety +17

      @@fivefoxesinatrenchcoat1744 i immediately knew that this was Chuck Tingle

    • @RandomSwiftie13
      @RandomSwiftie13 Před 3 lety +3

      Ohh God 🤣

  • @RecklessFables
    @RecklessFables Před 3 lety +231

    The Romance genre is incredibly large and varied. So large, in fact, that self-parody is a thing. The mistake non-readers make is thinking that the fandom takes it all super-serious.

    • @amandas2639
      @amandas2639 Před 3 lety +24

      Exactly. I know a romance writer who writes "normal" romance novels with the usual tropes, but every now and then she'll write one for fun that's just taking the piss out of the whole genre.
      And if you can make your work stand out, even just by being so utterly ridiculous (and intentionally so), well, what better way to get your name out there to any potential agents?

    • @AnikMonette
      @AnikMonette Před rokem

      I don't care. It's hilarious regardless!

  • @clementine6973
    @clementine6973 Před 3 lety +18

    "She'd thought that launching Covid into the Hadron Collider and sending it back to the past was a mistake, but-"
    WHAT.

  • @skyesfury8511
    @skyesfury8511 Před 3 lety +17

    "It had put an end to her ability to party like the little [who]re she was"
    I legit bust out laughing at this. 10/10 writing right there! lmao

  • @wyntertheicewyvern6226
    @wyntertheicewyvern6226 Před 3 lety +319

    I sometimes worry that my books won't go over well.
    Then I see that stuff like this exists.
    And I don't worry as much.
    If this trash can get published, my books, which have decent plots and characters and are actual stories can too.

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 Před 3 lety +16

      I can write better fanfiction than this

    • @happyjellycatsquid
      @happyjellycatsquid Před 3 lety +10

      YASSS GURL ! Believe in yourself ‘

    • @fivefoxesinatrenchcoat1744
      @fivefoxesinatrenchcoat1744 Před 3 lety +14

      I’m sure you’re doing fine. There’s a plethora of dino erotica on Amazon.

    • @Emrys91
      @Emrys91 Před 3 lety +8

      I am in the same boat.
      It fills me we rage that shit like this is allowed to be published. It ruines the artform

    • @metalchick2726
      @metalchick2726 Před 3 lety +9

      @@Emrys91 It was self published so she didn't even go to a publisher. You can self publish anything

  • @TheRealityofFake
    @TheRealityofFake Před 3 lety +247

    I really feel like I should become an author. This whole time what was holding me back was that I thought I had to be able to create good stories...

    • @fromthethirdplanet
      @fromthethirdplanet Před 3 lety +6

      True lol

    • @mansikukreti3491
      @mansikukreti3491 Před 3 lety +3

      Believe me, people won't like it or won't care because people love this kind of kinky sh*t but do write this world need good story

    • @AnikMonette
      @AnikMonette Před rokem

      Oh, trust me, if this sells we both can become best seller authors in a jiffy!
      Oh God my sides!😂

  • @zahrazarqaa5210
    @zahrazarqaa5210 Před 3 lety +15

    "For the rest of the evening Alexa and Covid remained in their embracing embrace" 😂😂😂

  • @l.a5647
    @l.a5647 Před 3 lety +31

    Me an Ace: Wonder what the Allos are up to right now?
    Allos:

  • @stephw.7874
    @stephw.7874 Před 3 lety +171

    "Alexa and Covid remained in their *embracing embrace* " "thrust his warbling member deep into her *pocket of ecstasy* " This story is giving me major " *My inner goddess* is doing a triple axel dismount off the uneven bars" vibes. I'm very convinced that this is satire/parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm pretty sure she purposely tried to make this story as ridiculous sounding as possible in order to troll and make fun of how absurd and terrible the writing is in the Fifty Shades books.
    Maybe I'm overthinking this. But E.L. James wrote the Fifty Shades series. "Kissing the Coronavirus" was written by M.J. Edwards. I feel like M.J. Edwards is trying to make fun of E.L. James' pen name. Edwards is for the "E". Or Edwards could be used because of the character of "Edward" from Twilight. J is for "James". And M is the next letter after "L." I could be overthinking this. But I think even her pen name is a troll on the Fifty Shades author. And E.L. James also wrote Twilight fan fiction because she discovered writing after reading Twilight and being in a job she disliked.

  • @Skip_a_Doodle
    @Skip_a_Doodle Před 3 lety +179

    This book just shows me that this humanity can't be saved. I'm depressed, I need a cookie.

    • @manicmentacide
      @manicmentacide Před 3 lety +13

      🍪

    • @CatCheshire
      @CatCheshire Před 3 lety +10

      Don't be sad.
      Being dead is like being an idiot, others pity you, but you lucky don't know about it.
      It will be fine

    • @moffattwins8310
      @moffattwins8310 Před 3 lety +4

      🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

    • @bluejaycreations8638
      @bluejaycreations8638 Před 3 lety +4

      Idk if that was supposed to be a golden Girls quote but if it was... YAAS SOFIA!

    • @Skip_a_Doodle
      @Skip_a_Doodle Před 3 lety +3

      @@bluejaycreations8638 YASSSS SOMEONE KNOWS IT!! She's my spirit animal 😂

  • @melaniechua4059
    @melaniechua4059 Před 3 lety +32

    Every time she says “Alexa” , my echo dot perks up and is like, yes? You called? No, I didn’t. Amanda did cause she needs a gin and tonic 😆

  • @789cosmo
    @789cosmo Před 3 lety +23

    You gotta appreciate the tenacity of this author she was like “I need money....I know I’ll write erotica about the coronavirus!”
    And the best part is that she did make at least some money 🤣

  • @wren9841
    @wren9841 Před 3 lety +172

    I hate the fact that this exists in the universe but at the same time it's so damn insane I can't stop cackling about it.

  • @user-hn5zw8nq9m
    @user-hn5zw8nq9m Před 3 lety +92

    "they're just uploading them to free on certain websites"
    you can say AO3, amanda. it's okay

  • @codyconnor6981
    @codyconnor6981 Před 3 lety +56

    This is why mass quarantine is a bad idea. People get weird when they aren’t allowed to go outside.

  • @qtoz6114
    @qtoz6114 Před 3 lety +11

    ...I'm having a really hard time believing this was written for any other reason than "Lets see what KDP lets me get away with!"

  • @MoonNerdy
    @MoonNerdy Před 3 lety +349

    Coronavirus? More like.. poronavirus? Idk I tried to be witty but this just makes me question everything

  • @Skip_a_Doodle
    @Skip_a_Doodle Před 3 lety +245

    If this gets adapted into a movie.. I'll SCREAM AND SHOUT🗣️

  • @alyssahayes268
    @alyssahayes268 Před 3 lety +13

    are we just gonna skip over "embracing embrace" at 12:21

  • @Szyperak
    @Szyperak Před 3 lety +16

    The part when "her ovaries clash together like cymbals" made me realize that we're dealing with a masterpiece

  • @parisheidi3119
    @parisheidi3119 Před 3 lety +145

    Amanda : do I need alcohol?
    Me: yes. No one should have to suffer threw this sober

  • @brettshulenburg4779
    @brettshulenburg4779 Před 3 lety +527

    NINETEEN FERRETS?? is this woman a breeder? If not ... Okay😂

    • @Lexivor
      @Lexivor Před 3 lety +78

      Covid-19 ferrets? It's all connected.

    • @SkwithOv
      @SkwithOv Před 3 lety +11

      possibly a rescuer

    • @indigocrayon520
      @indigocrayon520 Před 3 lety +16

      I couldn't imagine the smell

    • @jaykatara5467
      @jaykatara5467 Před 3 lety +18

      @@indigocrayon520 Oof yeah. For a while I kinda wanted to get a ferret cause they're cute, but when I found out about their spraying habits and how much they smell, I'm like no thanks. I can't imagine having almost 20

    • @Beggar42
      @Beggar42 Před 3 lety +25

      Also ... at the start of the video, it's nineteen ferrets ... at the end, it's eighteen. Did one of the poor fellows catch Corona halfway through?

  • @hobbiton64
    @hobbiton64 Před 3 lety +11

    "Hot man dog" is when I died laughing 😂😂

  • @LostBeaver
    @LostBeaver Před 3 lety +7

    "I can't go into too many specifics"
    And thank god for that

  • @bobbivotson2529
    @bobbivotson2529 Před 3 lety +91

    Whoever wrote this is an absolute genius. It is getting much traction for the meme value. Supreme comedy. Also whoever wrote it is probably banking some cash out of all of this. Pure genius.

  • @EmilyParagraph
    @EmilyParagraph Před 3 lety +75

    "I'm sure a lot of them are writing depraved fiction and uploading them to free... on certain websites"
    *is currently writing a 200k+ word smut fic on ao3 that i started in april*
    *sweats nervously*

    • @laya1901
      @laya1901 Před 3 lety +1

      What's about? I might read it lol

    • @ai01231
      @ai01231 Před 3 lety

      ...as long as it’s now about doing it with a virus, I guess it’s okay????

    • @andreacaininstinct
      @andreacaininstinct Před 3 lety +1

      That's impressive tbh

    • @FiddlebirdBlue
      @FiddlebirdBlue Před 3 lety +1

      I've written 1275-page fanfic and only part of that during quarantine. The limit does not exist. People don't understand our passion. Any part of it.

  • @ashakannan3710
    @ashakannan3710 Před 3 lety +11

    I am a microbiologist, and just listening the review of this book is making my head hurt. You had to read this... I feel sorry for you.

  • @mcgovemj
    @mcgovemj Před 3 lety +20

    10:57
    OwO, Cowona-chan, what's this?