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It's a nice video but I think you should have distinguished between joint and extended family in a better way. I don't think living in a family of 5-6 people is a bad thing... if it gets more then there's congestion and conflicts
Had a hard time in join family...as a working woman ..I had to do office and again all household chores as i am Bahu..MIL and SIL dint bother to help when i delivered baby...I did office work,household chores and baby sitting...Join family benefits is myth..these people so called family members wont help you ..just will add more work ... Now after 6 years in getting seperated..Wish me good days ❤
Really impressed with the depth of this analysis. Very few individuals in this hypocritical society have the guts to talk about the dark realities of the joint family system. Kudos!
True.... ALSO... there exist some parents who even can Not digest the growth (career-wise) of their own children... "humein kaun poochega fir"😮😮 Kattu-satya... but satya hai🙏
I was being exploited by elders in my family when I lived with them. It was hell for my wife and kids. And I was not progressing in my career because I was scared like hell that I might invite elders' wrath. And then one day, I was humiliated so much that I left home with my wife and very young children - without caring for my share in the family wealth. Without any money and without any plans for the future. All I cared in that moment was that I wanted to live a life with self respect and fulfillment. 20 years later, I have a successful business, kids have gone on to become scientists (PhD) in the US, and wife is living life fully. The best decision I ever made. And the joint family has gone downhill in the same period. Business rivalry, bickering over property, separation and 4 unmarried kids between the age 44 and 32 that's all they got to show. Your warnings are well-meaning, justifiable and objevtively true. Thanks for educating people.
@@ClarityForYouthsir when i was struggling and sitting unemployed, no one gave her daughter in marraige to me!! My love interest also left me. Only my Mom nd Dad supported me financially and emotionally in those dark days. And you are saying to separate them in a separate flat(no matter how close ) for a random girl who chose me commerially😅. Yes i will fulfill all of my wife's rights and will balance the relationship bn my wife and mother in just proportion but will never give separate flat to my mom and my wife!!!!! and if become necessary , agar dono ne jyada ladai kiya tou dono ko dant bhi lagaunga lekin separate nahi karunga😂
Sir, I really respect ur decision. I wish my husband too could understand. And anyways his parents hadnt given him a good life n prioritised their own needs above their children's. His father was a financial failure, a drunkard n gave up working to sit n eat at home on his son's money at the age of 52 inspite of being physically fit to work. Husband is a self made man. He went to a govn grantable school then did odd job to complete his graduation. He works in an IT company with a decent package. He has an elder brother who comparatively earns lesser than husband so the whole family sympathises with him n waved off parents' financial responsibility n is allowed to live in a nuclear family. Husband was made to open up a business for his elder brother's growth but the bro feared that since hubby has invested in the business, later he may ask for the share so he was least concerned about the business n concentrated on his (elder brother) own job. Hence, the business was shut n husband's hard earned money was wasted. This was when the elder bro was married n hubby wasn't married. Also, since father in law stopped earning, the responsibility of the younger sister's marriage expenses was done by husband n she visits our house every month n hubby has to send expensive gifts with her. The sister earns too. But we indians believe that even if a daughter earns she has no financial responsibility of the parents. Daughters r born only to take from the parents n brothers, never give. And husband is a great son. He never got any comfort from his parents. He struggled n became successful but spends a lot on the parents to give them all the comfort in the world. I married my husband in an intercaste yet not a love marriage thru a marriage mediator. I had my own flaws. I was 30, have health issues, had a broken engagement n my father had just recovered from a severe health issue. We had a huge house but no monthly income. Papa wanted to prioritise opening a business to start a monthly income. He had already spent enough on my previous broken engagement so this time wanted to prioritise opening a business than spending too much on my wedding. So compromised to marry husband who just has a decent job but doesn't own a house n is solely taking financial responsibility of the parents n married sister's expenses. Also, believes that the wife is an outsider until she has atleast spent 25 yrs with the husband after marriage. He curses me n my parents that they didn't give enough dowry. My maternal widowed grandmother has bought a property for all her grandchildren but would give it first to her daughters than in case the daughters don't need it for any financial emergency, they can inherit to their children, us. But since husband is burdened with so much of financial responsibilty n doesn't believe in buying a house but renting one, thanks to some stupid youtubers, he constantly pressurises me to ask my maternal grandmother to get the property on my name. My health issues don't allow me to work. So he is burdened with too many responsibilities. And doesn't want to share parents' expenses with the siblings n the siblings too r least concerned. Elder brother because he earns less n younger sister because she is a girl. Hubby is great with his blood relations but worst like many indian men as a husband. He wanted a working wife who can contribute for his parents' expenses, bring a huge sum of dowry n perfect in household. He rejected the working women for marriage who wanted to contribute their income to their own parents because if she is living n eating in the husband's house why should she contribute her income to her parents? He said, my sister earns too but doesn't contribute her income to us. Husband was bald too before getting a hair transplant. He doesn't own a house n how does he expect that he'd a perfect wife? Anyways, he did get flawed wife in me n frustrated now. My health issue is related to mental stress. It increases with the in laws politics. In laws too wanna control the house n their son to have a control on his money for their own security n tries to dominate me. My upbringing was done to live with freedom. I too belonged to nuclear family. My father was the same as my husband who held the siblings n mother over the wife. And spent all his money on them n during downfall none of his siblings nor even mother cared for him. Only my mom was there for him. Dad realised that mom should have been his priority when he lost the financial stability n deteriorating health n when mom lost all her life in struggling n saving money. Thanks to my mom who saved money to at least have our own house. I don't want to struggle like my mom n dont want my husband to realise that wife should be the priority after losing everything n wasting my whole youth in struggle. I want to move in a nuclear family, live with freedom n get over my health issues. Also want hubby so share his parents' expenses with his siblings n provide only basics to the parents, not a lavish life cuz his parents never gave him one. His parents creates rift between us n hammers on him that the wife is an outsider, never trust her, blood relations are above the wife. I'm sick. Can't divorce him cuz I too am dependent n can't move on that easily to be with someone else as I can't live alone all my life. I want my own family, my husband, my kids. N will let my kids have their own life when they grow up n plan my financial retirement. My in laws did not inherit a penny to husband.
@@problemsolution267 It's such a sad and moving story. In my case , it was I who needed to make a decision. Ultimately, we alone are responsible for what we get or don't get in our life. With bold decisions, comes great risks and responsibilities. But whether you take a decision to step out or stay in, the one thing you must do is to first have a sound mental health. And who's responsible for it? Only you. Be bold. Best of luck.
U are absolutely correct sir... Mahabharat ne hazaro saal pahle proove kar diya tha ki joint family is a curse...and adults of the family by all hooks n crooks spoil the lives of the young generation...but dikkat ye hai ki koi is baat ko manna nahi chahta.... Thanks to u for diagnosing our pain and talking openly about an vital issue of a typical Indian family
मुझे तो बहुत पसंद आ रहा है। राजा ययाति जो अपने बेटों की जवानी खा कर अय्याशी कर रहा था, ऐसे कई ययाति मां बाप है समाज में जो बेटा बहू की पूरी जवानी खा जाते हैं। बेटा बहू बुढ़े हो जाते हैं और सास को दिन भर TV देखना है, ससुर को पार्क में दोस्तों के साथ मज़े करने हैं। बेटा बहू को घर, कमाना, बच्चे सब संभालना है।आप तो सच बात करनेवाले, छुटकारा दिलाने वाले हैं।
Absolutely agree. Aur kai maa baap toh bahu ko apni aiyashi ke liye khatra samajkar beta bahu ke bich galat faimi badhakar, unme jhagde karvakar bete ka divorce karwane ke pichhe pade hote hai. Aur aaj kal ke ladke bhalehi pati achhe na ho par bete Shravan kumar jaise ban gaye hai. Baghban film ka ulta ho raha hai aaj kal.
Accha aazkal kya soch he😡😡mene to apne sas sasurji nanak saki seva ki mere husbend to bilkul sravankumar the par mujhe koi Javan khrab karne ka afsos nahi he sabke bacce ese hi hon ye bharat he jo jesa katega wahi wapas aayga aaz mere bete dono itnajyada pyar karte hen ham logon ko meri bahu 2 Sal ho gay shadi ko bahu banakar nahi rakhte jo cahe kare itne pyar se rahte hen sab ek beta canada men study Kar raha he ek delhi men hi mere pa's he bacce jo dekhkar bade hote hen woh hi seekhte hen
Dikhawa karne wale logo ko Joint family system bhata hai. Sab ko dabakar rakhne me maja ata hai aur kuch b nai. Emotional blackmail kar kar k kaam nakalwate hai bass. Karne wala karte reh jata hai, na karne wale maja lekar, achhe se jindagi bitate hai. I totally agree k "Janwaro ki life thi". Kadwa lagta hai but yahi sach hai. Thank you for bringing up this topic..nai toh guilt feeling aati hai kabhi kabhi k galat toh nai soch rahi mai. Ye chize log samajh nai paate. Thanks for putting all my thoughts in words. ❤
I always lived in nuclear family. For last three years my own mother is living with me. This has made my life hell. She tries to control each member of family. Cause of dispute between me & my husband. You are absolutely correct sir
Let me tell my story,I come from a nuclear family where my father being 7 brothers back in UP shifted to many cities and finally settled in Gujarat and had 3 kids,now we all 3 siblings got educated and graduated in engineering but then when it came to marriage of me and my sister my father married us to software engineer but both were joint family and now here comes my story that my in law's apart from saas sasur and us husband wife consisted of my nanad and his two kids and one cousin dewar,now imagine what hell I have been through I literally never had tea or lunch or anything with my husband over there,not only this to look after the family I even left the job and use to prepare breakfast at 9 and got free at 11,then at 12 noon strict time for lunch and used to continue upto 3 pm with kitchen winding and all which made me super exhausted to hell, out of nowhere I resorted to sleep in afternoon which disruppted my sleep at night and not a single day was there when there was no fight with my husband and literally didn't do kids for 7 years,imagine what hell I have been and again my own parents never helped me with all this they just wanted me to be a good bahu and all blah blahh bullshitttt and again labeling me ki mai ghar ki izzat ganva rahi hu sabko ulta jawab deke,anyhow I planned a kid and by god's grace conceived but again they never took care and eventually suffered a miscarriage when doctors even told me to have bed rest......I will never wish this life to even my staunchest enemy as well,I now got separated and having a very peaceful life to enjoying my freedom that's it and even pray that my in laws are healthy and happy as well,no regret or anger with anyone now anymore 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Ive lived my life in both. & I won't hesitate to express that Joint family system are power house to generate plethora of mental health issues. Moreover it's clear evident that majority of child sexual abuses are committed by near ones of Victims. Nuclear family👪 though makes more responsibility on individuals but at least there's a great mental peace & privacy inbuilt in it.
Same holds true for men going for jobs or out station duties. That is why keep men inside homes locked up in order to keep a Check on them. Also, please seek psychiatry consult. You desperately need it.
How true. Not only child sexual abuse but also sexual abuse of daughters in law in these families which was for obvious reasons hushed up. Never ever enter such a matrimonial alliance. Life is to be lived peacefully with or without a man.
Totally agree, I was raised in a joint family and I just remember my mother working 24x7. She didn’t even get time to focus on us. Hardly had spent time with my mother due to her involvement in household chores 😢 AND even then my other family members still complain about her not doing enough (but us the kids really knows the truth). The world is cruel! I am married now and the world is still cruel!
Apart from my mom ..who catered to hostile MIL andd SIL and a very demanding husband…my father never had time for us..he was conditioned in taking the role of father for his brothers n sisters… we had all materialistic joy but no connection with either parent..on the other hand both brothers paid attention to their families..having little or no responsibility!!! We wore the brunt !!still my father is catering to his brothers families and now want his sons and daughter in laws to do the same
This guy needs to be viral. He is really doing a favor by making such videos. Thank you so much Sir. These topics needs to be addressed and talked more and more. Everyone only wants to talk good about joint family but nobody wants to talk about its ill-effects.
I was clear about joint family that it is the worst system as I have saw my mother exploited in a joint family, after watching this , it proved me right..thank you sir
Almost 30 years back I got to known about a known woman compelled to share her husband with other woman of family to cover the family reputation. Even today I can recall her frustration n desperation, temple visit, tantrik visit to regain her husband. Surprisingly everyone blamed her for her suffering. Every second family has hidden secrets, n of course women suffered the most. I do remember that women gets only leftover food in great joint families. Very right Sir Ji.
Joint family system have a lot of takers especially from the older generation. But women had to face a lot of atrocities. Incest is a dark secret within such families. Apart from that, Bahu politics in the house, specifically who gave birth to male children, were considered superior, or getting bigger dowry and coming from rich & powerful families. Living close but with separate boundaries where one can still help each other are best. Thank you for bringing these issues to light.
I completely agree with you Sir. My son and daughter in law live in a rented apartment 5 minutes from my house from the very first day of their marriage. We are all very happy with the arrangement.
Best of d best analysis. Since my childhood I and my parents stayed in a nuclear family and today we see we are perhaps the fewest of families who have the best of relationship with all relatives from all ends. Mere jo friends joint family me rehte the Bachpan me , unka suru se aj tak tau , cha-cha, Bua, mama se relation kharab Hai but we can see Hume apne koi bhi relatives se koi man mutao nahi , today I realize the reason for such happy relations was and is ours being NUCLEAR FAMILY.And mere mummy papa dono Working and well off Hai and they financially helped many relatives and even my grandparents. They all breathed their last at our home . And we had d best of time always. Today I feel I am blessed with a wonderful father ND mother who so well planned their family life back in 1980's jab nuclear family was not so in thing.😊
@@veenavarma7 Well we have two storeyed house . And my parents stay upstairs, and I opted for d ground floor. Like they planned accordingly everything . But I will b moving out with my would b husband next year post marriage at an apartment which is like 5 km from my place and around 2 Km from my husband's ancestral home🙂
I am 42 yrs male, elder brother and extremely hardworker from childhood, i just realised before 5 yrs what hell my life has become and i tired to explain it to my parents,pahle kai saal tak to bolne ka courage hi nahi aata. Jab unko apni feeling samjhane ki koshish ki to aisa answers mila ki mujhe laga ki m aaj tak jiya hi kyu, my younger brother enjoyed his youth days because he started working in late 30s but i started in 20s and did so much hard work and always give all my money,My brother is a good person to me but jab life samajh aai tab tak aisa laga ki sab khatam ho gaya h, when faced parents boldly ,unka past ka bitterness or sadness ki baate, now the situation became do or die and i took the extreme step and moved out ,they kept saying many things but i didt listen,ab unki samajh may aa raha h ki somewhere i was right.par meri life ki full watt lagane ke baad and story is ki now they ar ein their 70s and need real support par jab pahle baandhkar rakhoge to baad may pancchi udenge hi
Thank God ab to apko samaj aaya.. mera partner broke rishta with me just because his mom blackmailed him.. and he wants to live his life for parents ..I am damn sure vo bhi coming 5-6 years me yehi bolega.. pata nhi why elder male child wants to become Ram of the house and waste entire life… we have only life.. maximum parents are selfish
Now I have decided I will never marry the elder son of family.. they are abused by parents and such men mostly ignore wife and kids for their own parents I think such elder sons should not marry and do seva of parents
@@mswr3351do not generalize , not every parent is selfish, yes there are bad, selfish parents but there are good parents as well. So please do not generalize.
Me & my wife have very clearly told ,our about to get married children, better to stay close than stay together. Not on the same floor in any case. Keep distance/ privacy in day to day life but be there for each other in case of any need, any time. Apna funda to clear hai. 😊
Haan to tum paise Wale hoge bhai...jo ek aur makan khareed liye... Yaha to parents + chacha ke sath rehna pad rha h...abhi 1 saal hua h meri shadi ka bhai...kuch solution do bhai
Im so glad my family naturally parted ways to build their own homes and still are together. we stay apart 15 mins from each other and respect each others privacy
Mine stays 10 hours apart and I would rather have a joint family with a seperate room or floor for everyone. The loneliness and lack of friends in cities slowly kills you mentally.
@@ashitmukherjee5934 I am working in defence and whenever I used to come to home there was chaos and klesh as my mother wants that I should divorce or leave my wife. It makes no sense.
Never feel guilty… my partner listened to his parents and broke rishta with me… I hope he feels regret rest of his life.. he literally lost the only support he had
In today's time, when the media is brimming with abstract ideas like spiritualism and glorifying western ideas like being lifetime single, hook up culture,being completely carrier focused without living life, etc, sir you are the only person who speaks practically and genuinely for the wellbeing of the common majority people. Lots of love and respect to you sir.🙏🙏
Totally agree with you. If you carefully observe joint families, which mostly happen to be small business or shop ownning families nowadays, you will find lot of bitterness, hierarchies, grievances, cruel tauntings and humiliation of the weaker unit. The power struggle and inequality extends to the children too. And of course, the dark relationships. I find this bhabhi, jeeja jokes really disgusting. Desire for autonomy and freedom is actually a healthy phenomenon. I always believe that if one social system breaks down, it was in some way based on exploitation and inequality. Probably in a decade or so we will have a modified joint family system, centered on respect, care and autonomy for all.
Sir, when i was a kid my grandmother used to tell me , how at their time all the daughter-in-laws of the joint family used to getup at 4:00 o’clk to start daily chores and what kind of hardship they had at that time. You are absolutely right when you are delivering this message.
So what ? it had it's own benefits when it comes to things like stability and trust. It is just incompatible with the economic and political realities of our time.
@@rudrapratapsingh735what stability and trust, elders if they have big ego will made your life hell, specially younger generations. You have to cater to there whims and fancy all the time. There are good joint family as well where people have respect for each other but there are joint family one member blames and insult other member all the time. As for women joint family is a mess, you have put up any nonsense of elder women's in the family, mother in law, grandmother, aunts , nanad etc for no real reason. These elder women think that they are some kind of devi or goddess who can't be wrong.
@@rudrapratapsingh735raat ko 4 bje uthkr Kon si stability aa rhi h?? It's all about control and nothing more than that maybe pehle k time pr jb bijli nhi hoti thi to log suraj ki roshni k hisab se uthte the kyunki unke sare kaam uspr depend krte the pr aaj ye sb krne ki koi zrurt nhi h.
Joint Family is worst. My father is second kid to my Grandfather. My grand father is unemployed in era of 1940s where he was not even able to meet daily food needs such was financial situation. But my father work very hard and got his graduation done and got a Central govt. job. Now my Grand father also have 4 more sons and 3 more sisters all were waste and just scrap. My Father single handedly helped his brothers and sister get education but none got succeeded but all money went in vain and performed their marriages with his INCOME with out selling any agricultural lands. Every month on 1st date my Grand father used to come to our House since i was kid and take my fathers half of salary for his expenditures in village. My grand father cleverly used my father INCOME for his benefit & till his death he has not distributed any property and he died in very painful admitted hi hospital for months and all bills were paid by my father as he felt its his responsibility being his son. After my grand father death my grand mother used to cry before my father to give money. Now all other childrens took away lands now as my father become old could not fight with them. They literally broke my father FINANCIAL Condition. At the time of my father retirement he has very less savings. My father even helped his brothers and sisters kids by paying their kids Engineering fees where they came begging to help for money. When i questioned to my father abt this cheating done by his fellow own brothers and sisters he just says in his dreams also he never thought his brothers and sisters will do to him like this & keeps quiet. I can see my father cry with in himself & pain in his eyes.
In India, Joint families are portrayed to be institutions which lift every member up but in practicality, the most promising member is exploited and held back in the name of responsibility towards family. P.S. thank you for mentioning the point regarding the suppression of bahus.
I completely agree with that animal nature of humans covered in the garb of joint family.. You are absolutely 💯 correct... Dewar-bhabhi, Bhatija-Chachi, Jaith-choti bahu, sasur-bahu.... whatever combination one can think of was/is there😢😢
Bohot acha video hai Amit sir👌👌 Makan hamesha floors main divide hona chahiye portions main nahi. Portions main koi privacy nahi rehti lekin floors main poori privacy rehti hai. Jin bhi gharo main portions bana diye jate hain wahan kuch saal ke baad klesh padne lagte hain aur fir diware khinch jati hain. Doosri taraf floors main privacy ke sukh bhi milta hai aur klesh bhi nahi padta.
I completely agree families now must evolve to nuclear units. In joint families, we Indians lose so much privacy and freedom which today's youth need the most. With nuclear systems, responsibilities get divided properly between husband and wife so they get to pursue their goals, grow individually and also strengthen their bond. Your perspective on changing times is truly wise yet progressive. You've opened an important discussion about reimagining Indian family models for current speed of life. Nuclear families built on love, adjustments and patience really offer the balanced way forward for Indians today. Your thoughts are inspiring me to challenge old beliefs like "joint is best" and optimize family structures that suit modern Indian lifestyle. With nuclear setups, we can build strong yet independent individuals who contribute more to society as a whole. Keep sharing your enlightened views! They give me hope that Indians can adapt to changing times while keeping our values of family and togetherness intact.
Main ~6 months apne in laws k saath rahi, horrible experience tha. Pehle mujhe cooking pasand thi, ab bilkul nahi. Sab chahte the main job jane se pehle sabke liye puri-pakwan breakfast, lunch bana k jau, fir wapas aake fir se 36 pakwan banau sabke liye. 50-60 age wale in laws aise behave karte the jaise 90years k buddhe ho, din bhar full volume me CZcams dekhte the subah 5 baje se, sone hi nahi dete the. 30years ka brother in law spoiled dumb handicap child ki tarah rehta tha jo din bhar sota tha. Husband kitchen me help karne lage to in laws muh banane lagte the. Iske baad bhi in laws ko ye problem ki main apni salary husband ko kyu nahi deti. Never again.
Yes the same fukin situation everywhere... Nobody helps instead create problems... India me husband wife ki koi private romantic life hoti he nhi.. It seems like ur marrying his family not him. One of the reasons behind frustration of wives.
@@Crispr_cas9thchutiye log hi shaadi karte hain 21st century mein . Previous generation ke baad hi marriage stop ho jana chahiye tha, but koi baat nhi dheere dheere waise bhi marriage rates kam ho rha hai, hope upcoming generations iss marriage chutiyapa ko khatam karde.
@@AbhishekKumar-xh7ic don't call people chutiya... Bas system thoda kharaab h.. Parents think that humari life kharab ho gyi to apne baccho ko bhi jeene mat do.. Too much of family interference in married couples life just destroys the love n bonding.. In India people who cross 55 yrs of age feel that they are too weak and should be fully dependent on kids and this cycle continues..
True. Everything is true whether People accept it or not. Nuclear Families should exist revolving around the Sun (Parents) but each I'm their own Orbits. These Orbits never intersect each other and enjoy the proximity as well. Good job 👍
I have a 2.5BHK flat which is sufficient for 3/4 people max. However, our neighbour has 12 members stuffed in 2.5BHK which is crazy. I squarely blame the son for forcing his family to live like this.
You are right sir , I admire your courage to take on the society's bad practices. No one gives such clear gyaan like you do May Bhagwan give you a long and healthy life🙏
Sir me kya bolu aap ko 😊 pranaam hai apko. Meri age 40 years hai.. Meri maa ne mujhse pehle k time joint family ki yahi situation batai thi jo app bata rahe hai.. bahut bura haal tha kahi kahi to.. aapke channel ka name bilkul sahi rakkha aapne. Clarity of youth supar knowledge dete ho app sir. Daily ghar k kaam karte hu aapke vdo sunkar gyaan arjit karti hu. Sasur ji logo 😂 ko to achchhe se expose kar diya apne.
Woow... Hats off to u sir.. U r awesome sir... My son is 20 years old.. There is lots of time to get him married.. But I watch ur videos for not making any mistakes in future... Thank you for your guidance, entire India, globally is getting wisdom & courage from your videos & making their life easy & getting sorted... Lots of love n blessings to you sir... 🤗🙏❤✨
That's a fact.. Nobody talks about these practical issues.. Despite have been major issues since ages.. Co it's considered tabboo.. Thanks Sir for bringing clarity and bring such issues to discuss which nobody touches..Appreciations 👍👍👍
अमित भाई, 😮बहुत हिम्मत चाहिए, 🙏, thanks for showing the reality of life to the people😊सुबह उठकर तुलसी को पानी दे चुकी है, गाना भी गा चुकी है😂😅😊, nailed it भैया
पुराना सिस्टम चिड़ियाघर जैसा था आपकी बात मानी जाए तो जॉइंट फैमिली के झगडे ख़तम हो जाएंऔर सुविधा पूर्वक सभी रह सकते हैं समय -समय पर एक दूसरे के काम भी आ सकते हैं। धन्यवाद महोदय बहुत अच्छा कहा आपने।
Sirji, let me give you a interesting and useful topic " How to make your marriage more and more stronger and happier for yourself and your family" 1. Celebrate every marriage anniversary by sharing 10 points with partner mentioning which things I like most of you and which points I expect improvement. 2. Never fight in front of anyone. In case of any conflict, go to your bedroom and fight, discuss and resolve. Never in front of parents as it intensifies the conflicts gradually. 3. As you always, take a stand of partner for his/ her genuine problems, weakness or requirements. 4. Identify your parents attitude towards beta bahu just in first year of marriage 5. Be 100% open,.clear, honest and dedicated to partner. No one else wether family or friends or boss or neighbors should be a reason of your flight. If fighting for your own issues good but never due to others.
May I add 1 more important point... :-when you have to take decision on any topic RElated to you and your partner, just decide it YOURSELF... kisi aur ki salaah mat lo..... the 3rd person is Not Capable and none wld ever be capable of understanding the Bond, the Gravity OF Your relationship. Thankyou🙏
Very relevant video as always. Waise to humne pehle se hi soch rakha tha jab bhi future m bachchon k work place m permanently shift karenge ,hum alag flat m hi rahenge chahe rent per ya purchase karke ,unki society m hi le lenge But after watching yr videos this thinking has been converted into firm decision
Thank you so much for this video sir. I have been sexually abused because of this joint family set up . Have been emotionally and mentally abused by inlaws also after marriage . Since I endured abuse in childhood, I attracted an abuser man and he is my husband. Best is live closer but not in the same house.
Sometimes, i feel that MARRIAGE is an eye opener to understand relationships including Parents ... The Masks of Joker starts falling for everyone when a situation arises ...
Loved this video completely, I have experienced these situations at different times in my life from a distance and been effected directly indirectly by them in my own life too, every circumstance mentioned and each explanation revealed is true 100%. Ofcourse the truth is bitter and not everyone wants to accept the reality or break their illusion but this is what the real picture of so called joint families are.
Ye sab tin Bhai aur sasur vali family me jab me shadi krke gai thi to mene face Kiya hua he, pr Husband ko konsi language me samzau ye samaz nhi aata tha tab. Harsh lagega nai aayi hu, itna clear baat kaise kru.....and blah.... blah..... But me shadi se pehle se job krti thi to jyada din sehna nhi pada. Aur hum log dusre gaon aa gye. Pr mere nye din kharab ho gye. Apki baate sunke laga ki kisime to itana clear aur to the point bone ki himmat he, aur un sab me ladies ko kya face karna padta he uski samaz he.... Sir, Aapko Mera sadar Pranam aur bhut bhut shubhkamanaye...
Bahut badhiya vedio.Not ahead of times but very contemporary and relating.It needs enough courage to make vedio on such topic and speak truth.Many many thanks to Amit sir ji.You are doing great service to the society by giving clarity on too much discussed subject.Hare Krishna.🌹
Ye baat toh Sir ne bohot badiya layi hai samne. Ladke ki maa important hai aur use bete ko bada karne ke sare returns milne chahiye par ladki ki maa ko koi returns nhi milne hai beti ko padha likhakar bada karne ka. Practically kaunsi beti apne parents ke liye kuch karti hai? Shaadi hote hi woh apni pati, pati ki family aur apne bachcho me busy hokar parents ko bhul jati hai. If not bhul jati hai par practically kuch nhi karti jaise ek beta karta hai. Aur pati aur uske family ko apne khud ke maa baap se upar rakhna ek virtue mana jata hai ki kitni achhi bahu aur patni hai ki apne maa baap ko sacrifice karke humara sab karti hai. Utter non sense!! Aare toh kyu kare maa baap ladki paida? Sirf free ka palne ke liye?
Sir you are the best❤ we need more people like you to burst the myths 👍👌👌 One small request: I want your videos to reach more viewers. It will be really nice if you could also do it in English to reach more viewers from South India 😊
Though I feel joint family gives you good people strength,..But I fully agree with your points...you stated correctly that Paas mein raho but ek hi ghar mein mat raho..we also live like that ..stay nearby..and I must appreciate your sense of humour & way of delivering the words and last but not least your acting skill to make live the situation 😊
Completely agree with you Sir. I am also of the same opinion which makes lives of each couple happy and bondage increases and come to the new couple's aid only when it is needed.
Sabse achccha lagaa jab aapne keha, " aise ladkon se shadi nahi karni chaahiye jo alag ghar na de sake kiraaye ka hi sahi." Jai Gurudev.Aapko shraddha ka ek phool chadhaata huun.Hare Krishna.🌹
Mota mota baat ye hai k male ko joint family ka concept pasand hai kyu k unka kuch nai jata....ulta unka ye manna hai k sir pr hath rehta hai..par iska cost uski biwi hi humesha bharti hai iskiye ab tak ye system chala jab tak aurte attyachar jhel rhi thi. Aur kuch aurto ko b ye system pasand ata hai jinme kudh kuch krne ki layaki nai hoti sab kaam ghr k dusro pr thopti hai..kabhi kabhi ghrwale kudh aiso ko paal k rkhte hai kisi aur k cost par.
Very nice video and can be easily back tested. I have seen this joint family system causing issues in my own family and my wife’s family. I was so scared that I ran away overseas to live away from everyone 😊
Let alone in laws it is very hard to like in the same household with your own parents once you hit a certain age. Nobody is to be blamed but it's extremely hard for two generations to coexist under the same roof. Nobody has the energy to adjust and compromise on daily basis. That greatly impacts mental health too. Living away from each other improves relationships also.
Without watching whole video I am commenting......joint family is worse thing....alag alag Rahi to pyaar bi bana rhta hai..... Ullu or befkoof log hote hai jo joint family me rhne ke liye majboor karte hai .... Yh baat samna nai hai ...chahee khud ki jindgi hee khrab ho jaye
Yes jitna jaldi samjh le utna acha ..... Is Sharmaa sharmi se jitna jaldi bahar ayee utna acha apne liye bi or bachoo ke liye bi .... Buree to waise bi hai hee
Ekdum sahi kaha sir. Mai ye sb 13 saal jhel chuki hu. Sbka khana bna k khud khane k liye saas ya jethani k bolne k bad kha skti thi. Agar galti se phle kha liya to ghar me bawal ho jata tha. Or kam 12 members ka sara mujhe hi krna pdta tha kyunki sbse choti bahu hu
Very true Sir ……. But small towns and old towns like Ambala make life miserable for Bahu who shifts out from Inlaws….. Even sister inlaws they gossip and defame the Bahu…. Sir yeh kabhii nahin khatam hoga because Indian men are tuned that way. U can start a NGO and half of Indian women will join that for liberation 😂…. Thanku Sir really appreciate your vlogs and this topic you explain extremely well being male….. Hats off Sir
Namashkar Sir I'm 22, from Jaipur and I've started watching your videos from two months, and i'm glad that i found your channel, which guides youngsters. And i Thank you for being a mentor forr youngster like me. Sir there's a popular topic "dating" Please guide your views about it. Its so confusing should youngsters date or not?? Please express your thoughts about it🙏🏻
My in lows & family members are very good people. After getting married I lived together 5years coz can't live without parents but I was mentaly stressed due to many things happend as we earning less as compare to other people in family literaly people wnted us to leave but my husband was not ready coz deeply connected to his family I can understand the pain of leaving family behind as I got married& left my parents house I didn't wanted my husband to go through the same pain atleast I didn't wanted to be the reason of that pain finally something happend & he agreed with me to leave there house now still there are many issues but we are connected to family& atleast m not in mental hospital. Post one year I started working after marriage those 8 hours in a day was best time in my life it was not that there was everything smooth in office was in corporate have gone through all positive negative things of corporate culture but that time saved my life els I feel would be in some hospital& mentally Sick thnx for the efforts sir
Very True content of 2023. App ne keh diya Bol ni pa rahe jeh Sach h. Ap ne kush b galat ni kaha sirf Dhyan se sune ne ki jarurat h. Big salute n maza a gaya as usual. Thanks
Sir you are absolutely right. Please put some focus on these joint family systems...These belief system in indian families are really pathetic..I agree with you sir..nuclear families are really good..please make videos like this sir and create awareness
ये चेंज ऑलरेडी शुरू हो चुका है। और बहुत बढ़िया है। हमारा आज हमारे बीते हुए कल से हमेशा बेहतर ही होता है। जो भी परिवर्तन पूरे भारतीय समाज मे हो रहे हैं वो समाज को और बेहतर बना रहे हैं। पुराने समय की पूछ पकड़ कर बैठे रहते तो आज भी हम आदी मानव होते। वो बात अलग है कि कुछ लोगों को परिवर्तन से ज्यादा पीड़ा होती है।
Very true Sir, ye janwaro wali baat maine b apne husband se boli thi ek baar pr unhone halke me li ab mai ye video dikhaungi unko ,ki meri tarah no. 1 clarity giver b sochte hai 😅😂. Amazing eye opening videos Sir 👍👍
All these points are practicality of life. But the saddest part is, even though our parents know all this, but they never tell about these points to their kids. Moreover, jealousy factor is also seen among cousins living in joint families.
Sir kuch time phle tak hum b ek sath rhte the but ab 2 mahine se lag rhte h . And its very good system. Father sath wle ghr me rhte hai ... Elder brother 1st floor par aur main ground floor par rhta hu ... Aur ye sukoon dene wala hai. Living area me get together hote hai . Thanks for your valuable videos 🙏🏻
Great job making this video!. Even if you don't own a house, (and dependent parents also don't own a house) then at least you should be capable of renting two houses - one for your parents and another one where you live with your spouse. If you can't do that, then like you mentioned in the video, you don't deserve marriage. This again boils down to your income. So earn more and make life easy!
This had hit me hard ..'ladki to aise hi paida ho jati hain' Ase hi pad likh jati h..ase hi naukri b lag jati hai .ase hi ladko jitna kamane lgti h... This is just so true...in 2023 even, I see ppl looking for those girls which can just take care of the house..ghar k kaam n all .and serve to the family. Like vo ladki ka Janam hi sirf patriarchal families ki sewa krne k lie hua h.. No one pays heed to how a girl's parents go through to raise her.they also make a lot sacrifices and then they have a big heart to send that girl to another house. .I think it's more hard than as of the boy's parents. 😢
Hats up to u sir . U speak practically all family issued. But ur videos should come in Tver channels . So that it will reach to many. AAP jaisa fathers n father in laws ki jaroorath hai is duniya mein . But ur words doesn’t reached to the toxic in-laws.
This isn't new. In our families it's an unwritten rule that children once their marriage fixed they have to move out. It's a must. In our families it's rare or next to impossible that parents keep their children even after marriage. It's a big No. My parents came out. We have moved out. So do our children in future. Can not think of keeping them even after marriage. This is common phenomenon in our friends and family circle. All our aunts, both sides this is the norm. We meet in different homes once in a while, enjoy.Those live in flat system have purchased homes in different floors or atleast few blocks away . This is so convenient and peaceful for all. generations
Parents and old age people shud understand the value of modern lifestyle and dressing and accept it and be flexible..modern lifestyle means living with comforts and what suits u...change with changing times... that's the key
Main apki baat se puri tarah se agree hu sir kyuki main khud ek joint family mein rehti hu aur meri shadi ko pura ek saal hogya hai aur iss saal mein maine itna sbh kuch dekh liya hai family mein ki main explain nhi krti yha per apki vidoes dekh kar stress kam ho jata hai aur himmat bhi aati hai
Makes sense 👍 we also live in separate quarters next to my in laws, we hav our separate dwelling but it's adjacent, we got this space renovated just b4 marriage so that we can live peacefully.
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It's a nice video but I think you should have distinguished between joint and extended family in a better way. I don't think living in a family of 5-6 people is a bad thing... if it gets more then there's congestion and conflicts
i found real truth channel 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 plz tell me how to connect you sir
@clarityforyouth
Sir aap ye to btae ki agar ldka palat gya alag rehne ka bol ke to kya kara jaae
Had a hard time in join family...as a working woman ..I had to do office and again all household chores as i am Bahu..MIL and SIL dint bother to help when i delivered baby...I did office work,household chores and baby sitting...Join family benefits is myth..these people so called family members wont help you ..just will add more work ...
Now after 6 years in getting seperated..Wish me good days ❤
Really impressed with the depth of this analysis. Very few individuals in this hypocritical society have the guts to talk about the dark realities of the joint family system. Kudos!
You are right.
Ground & darkest reality of a family is most parents can't digest too much happy married life of their son
True.... ALSO... there exist some parents who even can Not digest the growth (career-wise) of their own children... "humein kaun poochega fir"😮😮
Kattu-satya... but satya hai🙏
I was being exploited by elders in my family when I lived with them. It was hell for my wife and kids. And I was not progressing in my career because I was scared like hell that I might invite elders' wrath. And then one day, I was humiliated so much that I left home with my wife and very young children - without caring for my share in the family wealth. Without any money and without any plans for the future. All I cared in that moment was that I wanted to live a life with self respect and fulfillment. 20 years later, I have a successful business, kids have gone on to become scientists (PhD) in the US, and wife is living life fully. The best decision I ever made. And the joint family has gone downhill in the same period. Business rivalry, bickering over property, separation and 4 unmarried kids between the age 44 and 32 that's all they got to show. Your warnings are well-meaning, justifiable and objevtively true. Thanks for educating people.
Thanks for your inputs
@@ClarityForYouthsir when i was struggling and sitting unemployed, no one gave her daughter in marraige to me!! My love interest also left me. Only my Mom nd Dad supported me financially and emotionally in those dark days. And you are saying to separate them in a separate flat(no matter how close ) for a random girl who chose me commerially😅. Yes i will fulfill all of my wife's rights and will balance the relationship bn my wife and mother in just proportion but will never give separate flat to my mom and my wife!!!!! and if become necessary , agar dono ne jyada ladai kiya tou dono ko dant bhi lagaunga lekin separate nahi karunga😂
Sir, I really respect ur decision. I wish my husband too could understand. And anyways his parents hadnt given him a good life n prioritised their own needs above their children's. His father was a financial failure, a drunkard n gave up working to sit n eat at home on his son's money at the age of 52 inspite of being physically fit to work. Husband is a self made man. He went to a govn grantable school then did odd job to complete his graduation. He works in an IT company with a decent package. He has an elder brother who comparatively earns lesser than husband so the whole family sympathises with him n waved off parents' financial responsibility n is allowed to live in a nuclear family. Husband was made to open up a business for his elder brother's growth but the bro feared that since hubby has invested in the business, later he may ask for the share so he was least concerned about the business n concentrated on his (elder brother) own job. Hence, the business was shut n husband's hard earned money was wasted. This was when the elder bro was married n hubby wasn't married. Also, since father in law stopped earning, the responsibility of the younger sister's marriage expenses was done by husband n she visits our house every month n hubby has to send expensive gifts with her. The sister earns too. But we indians believe that even if a daughter earns she has no financial responsibility of the parents. Daughters r born only to take from the parents n brothers, never give. And husband is a great son. He never got any comfort from his parents. He struggled n became successful but spends a lot on the parents to give them all the comfort in the world.
I married my husband in an intercaste yet not a love marriage thru a marriage mediator. I had my own flaws. I was 30, have health issues, had a broken engagement n my father had just recovered from a severe health issue. We had a huge house but no monthly income. Papa wanted to prioritise opening a business to start a monthly income. He had already spent enough on my previous broken engagement so this time wanted to prioritise opening a business than spending too much on my wedding. So compromised to marry husband who just has a decent job but doesn't own a house n is solely taking financial responsibility of the parents n married sister's expenses. Also, believes that the wife is an outsider until she has atleast spent 25 yrs with the husband after marriage. He curses me n my parents that they didn't give enough dowry. My maternal widowed grandmother has bought a property for all her grandchildren but would give it first to her daughters than in case the daughters don't need it for any financial emergency, they can inherit to their children, us. But since husband is burdened with so much of financial responsibilty n doesn't believe in buying a house but renting one, thanks to some stupid youtubers, he constantly pressurises me to ask my maternal grandmother to get the property on my name. My health issues don't allow me to work. So he is burdened with too many responsibilities. And doesn't want to share parents' expenses with the siblings n the siblings too r least concerned. Elder brother because he earns less n younger sister because she is a girl. Hubby is great with his blood relations but worst like many indian men as a husband. He wanted a working wife who can contribute for his parents' expenses, bring a huge sum of dowry n perfect in household. He rejected the working women for marriage who wanted to contribute their income to their own parents because if she is living n eating in the husband's house why should she contribute her income to her parents? He said, my sister earns too but doesn't contribute her income to us. Husband was bald too before getting a hair transplant. He doesn't own a house n how does he expect that he'd a perfect wife? Anyways, he did get flawed wife in me n frustrated now. My health issue is related to mental stress. It increases with the in laws politics. In laws too wanna control the house n their son to have a control on his money for their own security n tries to dominate me. My upbringing was done to live with freedom. I too belonged to nuclear family. My father was the same as my husband who held the siblings n mother over the wife. And spent all his money on them n during downfall none of his siblings nor even mother cared for him. Only my mom was there for him. Dad realised that mom should have been his priority when he lost the financial stability n deteriorating health n when mom lost all her life in struggling n saving money. Thanks to my mom who saved money to at least have our own house. I don't want to struggle like my mom n dont want my husband to realise that wife should be the priority after losing everything n wasting my whole youth in struggle. I want to move in a nuclear family, live with freedom n get over my health issues. Also want hubby so share his parents' expenses with his siblings n provide only basics to the parents, not a lavish life cuz his parents never gave him one. His parents creates rift between us n hammers on him that the wife is an outsider, never trust her, blood relations are above the wife. I'm sick. Can't divorce him cuz I too am dependent n can't move on that easily to be with someone else as I can't live alone all my life. I want my own family, my husband, my kids. N will let my kids have their own life when they grow up n plan my financial retirement. My in laws did not inherit a penny to husband.
@@problemsolution267 It's such a sad and moving story. In my case , it was I who needed to make a decision. Ultimately, we alone are responsible for what we get or don't get in our life. With bold decisions, comes great risks and responsibilities. But whether you take a decision to step out or stay in, the one thing you must do is to first have a sound mental health. And who's responsible for it? Only you. Be bold. Best of luck.
Well said! Happy for u that u had the courage for all of this
Im getting addicted to this channel😅....Sir is telling the practicality of life(along with humour)...to which many in this country are blindfolded....
It isn't humour as per say just simple fluent haryanvi style of speaking hindi
Right you are.
He is blunt and clear always. I always adore such people
U are absolutely correct sir...
Mahabharat ne hazaro saal pahle proove kar diya tha ki joint family is a curse...and adults of the family by all hooks n crooks spoil the lives of the young generation...but dikkat ye hai ki koi is baat ko manna nahi chahta....
Thanks to u for diagnosing our pain and talking openly about an vital issue of a typical Indian family
मुझे तो बहुत पसंद आ रहा है। राजा ययाति जो अपने बेटों की जवानी खा कर अय्याशी कर रहा था, ऐसे कई ययाति मां बाप है समाज में जो बेटा बहू की पूरी जवानी खा जाते हैं। बेटा बहू बुढ़े हो जाते हैं और सास को दिन भर TV देखना है, ससुर को पार्क में दोस्तों के साथ मज़े करने हैं। बेटा बहू को घर, कमाना, बच्चे सब संभालना है।आप तो सच बात करनेवाले, छुटकारा दिलाने वाले हैं।
Very well said🙏👏🙏
Same hear very courageous vedeo sir beware of so called samaj😁🙏👏👏👏👏👍🙌🙌🙌
Absolutely agree. Aur kai maa baap toh bahu ko apni aiyashi ke liye khatra samajkar beta bahu ke bich galat faimi badhakar, unme jhagde karvakar bete ka divorce karwane ke pichhe pade hote hai. Aur aaj kal ke ladke bhalehi pati achhe na ho par bete Shravan kumar jaise ban gaye hai. Baghban film ka ulta ho raha hai aaj kal.
👌👌👌👌🙏🙏🙏
Accha aazkal kya soch he😡😡mene to apne sas sasurji nanak saki seva ki mere husbend to bilkul sravankumar the par mujhe koi Javan khrab karne ka afsos nahi he sabke bacce ese hi hon ye bharat he jo jesa katega wahi wapas aayga aaz mere bete dono itnajyada pyar karte hen ham logon ko meri bahu 2 Sal ho gay shadi ko bahu banakar nahi rakhte jo cahe kare itne pyar se rahte hen sab ek beta canada men study Kar raha he ek delhi men hi mere pa's he bacce jo dekhkar bade hote hen woh hi seekhte hen
Dikhawa karne wale logo ko Joint family system bhata hai. Sab ko dabakar rakhne me maja ata hai aur kuch b nai. Emotional blackmail kar kar k kaam nakalwate hai bass. Karne wala karte reh jata hai, na karne wale maja lekar, achhe se jindagi bitate hai. I totally agree k "Janwaro ki life thi".
Kadwa lagta hai but yahi sach hai.
Thank you for bringing up this topic..nai toh guilt feeling aati hai kabhi kabhi k galat toh nai soch rahi mai. Ye chize log samajh nai paate. Thanks for putting all my thoughts in words. ❤
I always lived in nuclear family. For last three years my own mother is living with me. This has made my life hell. She tries to control each member of family. Cause of dispute between me & my husband. You are absolutely correct sir
I don't understand their mentality...like they are unconsciously controlling everyone...even knowing this is going to disturb whole family
@@doflamingo7973they are habituated.
Move her out close by on rent.
Let me tell my story,I come from a nuclear family where my father being 7 brothers back in UP shifted to many cities and finally settled in Gujarat and had 3 kids,now we all 3 siblings got educated and graduated in engineering but then when it came to marriage of me and my sister my father married us to software engineer but both were joint family and now here comes my story that my in law's apart from saas sasur and us husband wife consisted of my nanad and his two kids and one cousin dewar,now imagine what hell I have been through I literally never had tea or lunch or anything with my husband over there,not only this to look after the family I even left the job and use to prepare breakfast at 9 and got free at 11,then at 12 noon strict time for lunch and used to continue upto 3 pm with kitchen winding and all which made me super exhausted to hell, out of nowhere I resorted to sleep in afternoon which disruppted my sleep at night and not a single day was there when there was no fight with my husband and literally didn't do kids for 7 years,imagine what hell I have been and again my own parents never helped me with all this they just wanted me to be a good bahu and all blah blahh bullshitttt and again labeling me ki mai ghar ki izzat ganva rahi hu sabko ulta jawab deke,anyhow I planned a kid and by god's grace conceived but again they never took care and eventually suffered a miscarriage when doctors even told me to have bed rest......I will never wish this life to even my staunchest enemy as well,I now got separated and having a very peaceful life to enjoying my freedom that's it and even pray that my in laws are healthy and happy as well,no regret or anger with anyone now anymore 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Good
You and others like you are brave. ✌🏼
Good that you separated.
Ive lived my life in both. & I won't hesitate to express that Joint family system are power house to generate plethora of mental health issues. Moreover it's clear evident that majority of child sexual abuses are committed by near ones of Victims.
Nuclear family👪 though makes more responsibility on individuals but at least there's a great mental peace & privacy inbuilt in it.
So agreed with you🎉
Children raised in nuclear family systems are simpletons whereas children raised in joint family systems are much clever.
Can't disagree more
Same holds true for men going for jobs or out station duties. That is why keep men inside homes locked up in order to keep a Check on them. Also, please seek psychiatry consult. You desperately need it.
How true. Not only child sexual abuse but also sexual abuse of daughters in law in these families which was for obvious reasons hushed up. Never ever enter such a matrimonial alliance. Life is to be lived peacefully with or without a man.
Money is the main factor ..which makes people stay together
Totally agree, I was raised in a joint family and I just remember my mother working 24x7. She didn’t even get time to focus on us. Hardly had spent time with my mother due to her involvement in household chores 😢 AND even then my other family members still complain about her not doing enough (but us the kids really knows the truth). The world is cruel!
I am married now and the world is still cruel!
Hey , i am getting Married to this man and he lives with his parents. Should i marry him? Btw its an arranged marriage
Apart from my mom ..who catered to hostile MIL andd SIL and a very demanding husband…my father never had time for us..he was conditioned in taking the role of father for his brothers n sisters… we had all materialistic joy but no connection with either parent..on the other hand both brothers paid attention to their families..having little or no responsibility!!! We wore the brunt !!still my father is catering to his brothers families and now want his sons and daughter in laws to do the same
@@LoveMaze-kw1lejust tell him that you're gonna live with him if he does a job outside of his hometown.
This guy needs to be viral. He is really doing a favor by making such videos. Thank you so much Sir. These topics needs to be addressed and talked more and more. Everyone only wants to talk good about joint family but nobody wants to talk about its ill-effects.
I was clear about joint family that it is the worst system as I have saw my mother exploited in a joint family, after watching this , it proved me right..thank you sir
Almost 30 years back I got to known about a known woman compelled to share her husband with other woman of family to cover the family reputation. Even today I can recall her frustration n desperation, temple visit, tantrik visit to regain her husband. Surprisingly everyone blamed her for her suffering. Every second family has hidden secrets, n of course women suffered the most. I do remember that women gets only leftover food in great joint families. Very right Sir Ji.
Joint family system have a lot of takers especially from the older generation. But women had to face a lot of atrocities. Incest is a dark secret within such families. Apart from that, Bahu politics in the house, specifically who gave birth to male children, were considered superior, or getting bigger dowry and coming from rich & powerful families. Living close but with separate boundaries where one can still help each other are best. Thank you for bringing these issues to light.
Aapne ekdum sahi kaha Shaliniji... sexual exploitation is very dark secret of joint families of older times.
Sometimes I feel we have d most corrupted family system driven by high level drama, Co-dependency and toxicity
Yes
I completely agree with you Sir.
My son and daughter in law live in a rented apartment 5 minutes from my house from the very first day of their marriage. We are all very happy with the arrangement.
Best of d best analysis. Since my childhood I and my parents stayed in a nuclear family and today we see we are perhaps the fewest of families who have the best of relationship with all relatives from all ends. Mere jo friends joint family me rehte the Bachpan me , unka suru se aj tak tau , cha-cha, Bua, mama se relation kharab Hai but we can see Hume apne koi bhi relatives se koi man mutao nahi , today I realize the reason for such happy relations was and is ours being NUCLEAR FAMILY.And mere mummy papa dono Working and well off Hai and they financially helped many relatives and even my grandparents. They all breathed their last at our home . And we had d best of time always. Today I feel I am blessed with a wonderful father ND mother who so well planned their family life back in 1980's jab nuclear family was not so in thing.😊
I must say that you have very boldly put things in proper perspective. 👍
Are your parents staying with you now?
@@veenavarma7 Well we have two storeyed house . And my parents stay upstairs, and I opted for d ground floor. Like they planned accordingly everything . But I will b moving out with my would b husband next year post marriage at an apartment which is like 5 km from my place and around 2 Km from my husband's ancestral home🙂
Hare Krishna
I'm staying in joint since birth
And what you said is true
I am 42 yrs male, elder brother and extremely hardworker from childhood, i just realised before 5 yrs what hell my life has become and i tired to explain it to my parents,pahle kai saal tak to bolne ka courage hi nahi aata. Jab unko apni feeling samjhane ki koshish ki to aisa answers mila ki mujhe laga ki m aaj tak jiya hi kyu, my younger brother enjoyed his youth days because he started working in late 30s but i started in 20s and did so much hard work and always give all my money,My brother is a good person to me but jab life samajh aai tab tak aisa laga ki sab khatam ho gaya h, when faced parents boldly ,unka past ka bitterness or sadness ki baate, now the situation became do or die and i took the extreme step and moved out ,they kept saying many things but i didt listen,ab unki samajh may aa raha h ki somewhere i was right.par meri life ki full watt lagane ke baad and story is ki now they ar ein their 70s and need real support par jab pahle baandhkar rakhoge to baad may pancchi udenge hi
Thank God ab to apko samaj aaya.. mera partner broke rishta with me just because his mom blackmailed him.. and he wants to live his life for parents ..I am damn sure vo bhi coming 5-6 years me yehi bolega.. pata nhi why elder male child wants to become Ram of the house and waste entire life… we have only life.. maximum parents are selfish
Now I have decided I will never marry the elder son of family.. they are abused by parents and such men mostly ignore wife and kids for their own parents
I think such elder sons should not marry and do seva of parents
@@mswr3351lol I'm the only son 😅 . Most of this generation people have 1-2 kids .
@@mswr3351do not generalize , not every parent is selfish, yes there are bad, selfish parents but there are good parents as well. So please do not generalize.
Me & my wife have very clearly told ,our about to get married children, better to stay close than stay together. Not on the same floor in any case. Keep distance/ privacy in day to day life but be there for each other in case of any need, any time. Apna funda to clear hai. 😊
Haan to tum paise Wale hoge bhai...jo ek aur makan khareed liye...
Yaha to parents + chacha ke sath rehna pad rha h...abhi 1 saal hua h meri shadi ka bhai...kuch solution do bhai
@@ashishraina5637earn more and make life better
Im so glad my family naturally parted ways to build their own homes and still are together. we stay apart 15 mins from each other and respect each others privacy
Mine stays 10 hours apart and I would rather have a joint family with a seperate room or floor for everyone. The loneliness and lack of friends in cities slowly kills you mentally.
@@rudrapratapsingh735what about your wife’s mental health!!??? Quality time is better.. have some goals and hobbies in life
Indian movies like baghban and ekta kapoor serials made hell lot of problems. I am a male living separately.
Those films and serials made us feel pity and regret for not having those ideals which are impractical now-a-days.
Why you are living separately? From your parents?
@@ashitmukherjee5934 I am working in defence and whenever I used to come to home there was chaos and klesh as my mother wants that I should divorce or leave my wife. It makes no sense.
Never feel guilty… my partner listened to his parents and broke rishta with me… I hope he feels regret rest of his life.. he literally lost the only support he had
A big correction......my mother was right.......my wife is characterless and has extra marital affair..... bloody sucking my life
In today's time, when the media is brimming with abstract ideas like spiritualism and glorifying western ideas like being lifetime single, hook up culture,being completely carrier focused without living life, etc, sir you are the only person who speaks practically and genuinely for the wellbeing of the common majority people.
Lots of love and respect to you sir.🙏🙏
Yes right.
Situation changes with time... Relevant to this Modern era... New perspective given.. needs to be followed... Jai Ho... Sirji cum Guruji🤗🙏🙏
Right
Totally agree with you. If you carefully observe joint families, which mostly happen to be small business or shop ownning families nowadays, you will find lot of bitterness, hierarchies, grievances, cruel tauntings and humiliation of the weaker unit. The power struggle and inequality extends to the children too. And of course, the dark relationships. I find this bhabhi, jeeja jokes really disgusting. Desire for autonomy and freedom is actually a healthy phenomenon.
I always believe that if one social system breaks down, it was in some way based on exploitation and inequality. Probably in a decade or so we will have a modified joint family system, centered on respect, care and autonomy for all.
Sir, when i was a kid my grandmother used to tell me , how at their time all the daughter-in-laws of the joint family used to getup at 4:00 o’clk to start daily chores and what kind of hardship they had at that time. You are absolutely right when you are delivering this message.
Even I am watching still this 4:00 o clock routine in my family..
So what ? it had it's own benefits when it comes to things like stability and trust. It is just incompatible with the economic and political realities of our time.
@@rudrapratapsingh735what stability and trust, elders if they have big ego will made your life hell, specially younger generations. You have to cater to there whims and fancy all the time. There are good joint family as well where people have respect for each other but there are joint family one member blames and insult other member all the time. As for women joint family is a mess, you have put up any nonsense of elder women's in the family, mother in law, grandmother, aunts , nanad etc for no real reason. These elder women think that they are some kind of devi or goddess who can't be wrong.
@@rudrapratapsingh735raat ko 4 bje uthkr Kon si stability aa rhi h?? It's all about control and nothing more than that maybe pehle k time pr jb bijli nhi hoti thi to log suraj ki roshni k hisab se uthte the kyunki unke sare kaam uspr depend krte the pr aaj ye sb krne ki koi zrurt nhi h.
Sir you are doing a great service to society.
Not only women even children gets sexually abused in joint families.
👍🙏
So true.
Joint Family is worst.
My father is second kid to my Grandfather. My grand father is unemployed in era of 1940s where he was not even able to meet daily food needs such was financial situation. But my father work very hard and got his graduation done and got a Central govt. job. Now my Grand father also have 4 more sons and 3 more sisters all were waste and just scrap. My Father single handedly helped his brothers and sister get education but none got succeeded but all money went in vain and performed their marriages with his INCOME with out selling any agricultural lands. Every month on 1st date my Grand father used to come to our House since i was kid and take my fathers half of salary for his expenditures in village. My grand father cleverly used my father INCOME for his benefit & till his death he has not distributed any property and he died in very painful admitted hi hospital for months and all bills were paid by my father as he felt its his responsibility being his son. After my grand father death my grand mother used to cry before my father to give money. Now all other childrens took away lands now as my father become old could not fight with them. They literally broke my father FINANCIAL Condition. At the time of my father retirement he has very less savings. My father even helped his brothers and sisters kids by paying their kids Engineering fees where they came begging to help for money. When i questioned to my father abt this cheating done by his fellow own brothers and sisters he just says in his dreams also he never thought his brothers and sisters will do to him like this & keeps quiet. I can see my father cry with in himself & pain in his eyes.
In India, Joint families are portrayed to be institutions which lift every member up but in practicality, the most promising member is exploited and held back in the name of responsibility towards family.
P.S. thank you for mentioning the point regarding the suppression of bahus.
U r true.. kind hearted members will be manipulated exploited by selfish members..
Happened with us too
In exchange, he can trust his family members much more than any randoms.
So so true
I agree
I completely agree with that animal nature of humans covered in the garb of joint family.. You are absolutely 💯 correct... Dewar-bhabhi, Bhatija-Chachi, Jaith-choti bahu, sasur-bahu.... whatever combination one can think of was/is there😢😢
Bohot acha video hai Amit sir👌👌 Makan hamesha floors main divide hona chahiye portions main nahi.
Portions main koi privacy nahi rehti lekin floors main poori privacy rehti hai. Jin bhi gharo main portions bana diye jate hain wahan kuch saal ke baad klesh padne lagte hain aur fir diware khinch jati hain. Doosri taraf floors main privacy ke sukh bhi milta hai aur klesh bhi nahi padta.
I completely agree families now must evolve to nuclear units. In joint families, we Indians lose so much privacy and freedom which today's youth need the most. With nuclear systems, responsibilities get divided properly between husband and wife so they get to pursue their goals, grow individually and also strengthen their bond.
Your perspective on changing times is truly wise yet progressive. You've opened an important discussion about reimagining Indian family models for current speed of life. Nuclear families built on love, adjustments and patience really offer the balanced way forward for Indians today.
Your thoughts are inspiring me to challenge old beliefs like "joint is best" and optimize family structures that suit modern Indian lifestyle. With nuclear setups, we can build strong yet independent individuals who contribute more to society as a whole.
Keep sharing your enlightened views! They give me hope that Indians can adapt to changing times while keeping our values of family and togetherness intact.
Main ~6 months apne in laws k saath rahi, horrible experience tha. Pehle mujhe cooking pasand thi, ab bilkul nahi. Sab chahte the main job jane se pehle sabke liye puri-pakwan breakfast, lunch bana k jau, fir wapas aake fir se 36 pakwan banau sabke liye. 50-60 age wale in laws aise behave karte the jaise 90years k buddhe ho, din bhar full volume me CZcams dekhte the subah 5 baje se, sone hi nahi dete the. 30years ka brother in law spoiled dumb handicap child ki tarah rehta tha jo din bhar sota tha. Husband kitchen me help karne lage to in laws muh banane lagte the. Iske baad bhi in laws ko ye problem ki main apni salary husband ko kyu nahi deti. Never again.
Yes the same fukin situation everywhere... Nobody helps instead create problems... India me husband wife ki koi private romantic life hoti he nhi.. It seems like ur marrying his family not him. One of the reasons behind frustration of wives.
Please tell me you left that hell hole
@@misscat4433 they came to my home. They left. And will never be welcome here again. And i will never go to them again.
@@Crispr_cas9thchutiye log hi shaadi karte hain 21st century mein . Previous generation ke baad hi marriage stop ho jana chahiye tha, but koi baat nhi dheere dheere waise bhi marriage rates kam ho rha hai, hope upcoming generations iss marriage chutiyapa ko khatam karde.
@@AbhishekKumar-xh7ic don't call people chutiya... Bas system thoda kharaab h.. Parents think that humari life kharab ho gyi to apne baccho ko bhi jeene mat do.. Too much of family interference in married couples life just destroys the love n bonding.. In India people who cross 55 yrs of age feel that they are too weak and should be fully dependent on kids and this cycle continues..
Itna sach koi nahi bolta hai aaj ke jamane me. Guru ji love you 💗💗💗
Mere sadhi ko twenty years ho gya joint family me sab sooakh chula me jal gya ab to dhyan bhi nahi hai ki mujhe kya pasand tha
True. Everything is true whether People accept it or not. Nuclear Families should exist revolving around the Sun (Parents) but each I'm their own Orbits. These Orbits never intersect each other and enjoy the proximity as well. Good job 👍
You explained very well 👍
You make me guilt free and lighter. Thank you so much.
I have a 2.5BHK flat which is sufficient for 3/4 people max. However, our neighbour has 12 members stuffed in 2.5BHK which is crazy. I squarely blame the son for forcing his family to live like this.
You are right sir , I admire your courage to take on the society's bad practices. No one gives such clear gyaan like you do May Bhagwan give you a long and healthy life🙏
Sir me kya bolu aap ko 😊 pranaam hai apko. Meri age 40 years hai.. Meri maa ne mujhse pehle k time joint family ki yahi situation batai thi jo app bata rahe hai.. bahut bura haal tha kahi kahi to.. aapke channel ka name bilkul sahi rakkha aapne. Clarity of youth supar knowledge dete ho app sir. Daily ghar k kaam karte hu aapke vdo sunkar gyaan arjit karti hu. Sasur ji logo 😂 ko to achchhe se expose kar diya apne.
This channel is going to change country's perspective not only youth.
Woow... Hats off to u sir.. U r awesome sir... My son is 20 years old.. There is lots of time to get him married.. But I watch ur videos for not making any mistakes in future... Thank you for your guidance, entire India, globally is getting wisdom & courage from your videos & making their life easy & getting sorted... Lots of love n blessings to you sir... 🤗🙏❤✨
That's a fact.. Nobody talks about these practical issues.. Despite have been major issues since ages.. Co it's considered tabboo.. Thanks Sir for bringing clarity and bring such issues to discuss which nobody touches..Appreciations 👍👍👍
सुबह सुबह बहु को gaun में देखना जरूरी नहीं है 😂😂😂😂 really great observation and study on social subject like this .
अमित भाई, 😮बहुत हिम्मत चाहिए, 🙏, thanks for showing the reality of life to the people😊सुबह उठकर तुलसी को पानी दे चुकी है, गाना भी गा चुकी है😂😅😊, nailed it भैया
Strong family member try to dominate over others, and according to life sciences, presence of one member influences feeding pattern of others.
Ekta KapoorvTV serials
As they should, allowing weak people to have authority is bad, which might happen in nuclear families.
@@rudrapratapsingh735 OR those dominating people will exploit those runt of litter.
पुराना सिस्टम चिड़ियाघर जैसा था आपकी बात मानी जाए तो जॉइंट फैमिली के झगडे ख़तम हो जाएंऔर सुविधा पूर्वक सभी रह सकते हैं समय -समय पर एक दूसरे के काम भी आ सकते हैं। धन्यवाद महोदय बहुत अच्छा कहा आपने।
Sirji, let me give you a interesting and useful topic " How to make your marriage more and more stronger and happier for yourself and your family"
1. Celebrate every marriage anniversary by sharing 10 points with partner mentioning which things I like most of you and which points I expect improvement.
2. Never fight in front of anyone. In case of any conflict, go to your bedroom and fight, discuss and resolve. Never in front of parents as it intensifies the conflicts gradually.
3. As you always, take a stand of partner for his/ her genuine problems, weakness or requirements.
4. Identify your parents attitude towards beta bahu just in first year of marriage
5. Be 100% open,.clear, honest and dedicated to partner. No one else wether family or friends or boss or neighbors should be a reason of your flight. If fighting for your own issues good but never due to others.
May I add 1 more important point...
:-when you have to take decision on any topic RElated to you and your partner, just decide it YOURSELF... kisi aur ki salaah mat lo..... the 3rd person is Not Capable and none wld ever be capable of understanding the Bond, the Gravity OF Your relationship.
Thankyou🙏
Very relevant video as always. Waise to humne pehle se hi soch rakha tha jab bhi future m bachchon k work place m permanently shift karenge ,hum alag flat m hi rahenge chahe rent per ya purchase karke ,unki society m hi le lenge
But after watching yr videos this thinking has been converted into firm decision
At present, everyone feels jealous to each other.
We are not Well disciplined now.
Right apna man ka kuch nahi kar sakte
Pehle k time pr ye zyada tha, isiliye to ghr mai glt kaam hote the chhupate the log.
Thank you so much for this video sir. I have been sexually abused because of this joint family set up . Have been emotionally and mentally abused by inlaws also after marriage . Since I endured abuse in childhood, I attracted an abuser man and he is my husband. Best is live closer but not in the same house.
Sometimes, i feel that MARRIAGE is an eye opener to understand relationships including Parents ... The Masks of Joker starts falling for everyone when a situation arises ...
Loved this video completely, I have experienced these situations at different times in my life from a distance and been effected directly indirectly by them in my own life too, every circumstance mentioned and each explanation revealed is true 100%. Ofcourse the truth is bitter and not everyone wants to accept the reality or break their illusion but this is what the real picture of so called joint families are.
Ye sab tin Bhai aur sasur vali family me jab me shadi krke gai thi to mene face Kiya hua he, pr Husband ko konsi language me samzau ye samaz nhi aata tha tab. Harsh lagega nai aayi hu, itna clear baat kaise kru.....and blah.... blah.....
But me shadi se pehle se job krti thi to jyada din sehna nhi pada. Aur hum log dusre gaon aa gye. Pr mere nye din kharab ho gye.
Apki baate sunke laga ki kisime to itana clear aur to the point bone ki himmat he, aur un sab me ladies ko kya face karna padta he uski samaz he....
Sir, Aapko Mera sadar Pranam aur bhut bhut shubhkamanaye...
Bahut badhiya vedio.Not ahead of times but very contemporary and relating.It needs enough courage to make vedio on such topic and speak truth.Many many thanks to Amit sir ji.You are doing great service to the society by giving clarity on too much discussed subject.Hare Krishna.🌹
Ye baat toh Sir ne bohot badiya layi hai samne. Ladke ki maa important hai aur use bete ko bada karne ke sare returns milne chahiye par ladki ki maa ko koi returns nhi milne hai beti ko padha likhakar bada karne ka. Practically kaunsi beti apne parents ke liye kuch karti hai? Shaadi hote hi woh apni pati, pati ki family aur apne bachcho me busy hokar parents ko bhul jati hai. If not bhul jati hai par practically kuch nhi karti jaise ek beta karta hai. Aur pati aur uske family ko apne khud ke maa baap se upar rakhna ek virtue mana jata hai ki kitni achhi bahu aur patni hai ki apne maa baap ko sacrifice karke humara sab karti hai. Utter non sense!! Aare toh kyu kare maa baap ladki paida? Sirf free ka palne ke liye?
तो तुम लड़के के घर खेती करने क्यों जाती हो?
@@learningworld8405kheti karwayi jaati hai.
Ever heard of slavery. Ye modern day slavery hi hai.
Sir you are the best❤ we need more people like you to burst the myths 👍👌👌
One small request: I want your videos to reach more viewers. It will be really nice if you could also do it in English to reach more viewers from South India 😊
Groundbreaking... Tactonic video.
Indian society urgently needs to see things from this lense. Kudos to you Sangwan ji 🙏🙏
Though I feel joint family gives you good people strength,..But I fully agree with your points...you stated correctly that Paas mein raho but ek hi ghar mein mat raho..we also live like that ..stay nearby..and I must appreciate your sense of humour & way of delivering the words and last but not least your acting skill to make live the situation 😊
Completely agree with you Sir. I am also of the same opinion which makes lives of each couple happy and bondage increases and come to the new couple's aid only when it is needed.
Namaskar Mr. Sangwan 🙏
Excellent information and advice. Please upload some more videos about things that need changing in society
I am a Indian youth, and I am learning so much for my life and in my future time also.
Sabse achccha lagaa jab aapne keha, " aise ladkon se shadi nahi karni chaahiye jo alag ghar na de sake kiraaye ka hi sahi." Jai Gurudev.Aapko shraddha ka ek phool chadhaata huun.Hare Krishna.🌹
Mota mota baat ye hai k male ko joint family ka concept pasand hai kyu k unka kuch nai jata....ulta unka ye manna hai k sir pr hath rehta hai..par iska cost uski biwi hi humesha bharti hai iskiye ab tak ye system chala jab tak aurte attyachar jhel rhi thi. Aur kuch aurto ko b ye system pasand ata hai jinme kudh kuch krne ki layaki nai hoti sab kaam ghr k dusro pr thopti hai..kabhi kabhi ghrwale kudh aiso ko paal k rkhte hai kisi aur k cost par.
Someone is addressing the root cause of all day to day struggles
Sir it's mind blowing. Share Karne ki himmat nahi ho rahi 😂
People know this but don't say openly because of dogma
More interaction creates problems in life.
@@kundu.M12🤣🤣🤣 but, he probably meant within joint families rey baba.. Not in general.. Lol..
Superb explanation . Watch each and every video of you sir to get new perspective and learn those things which no one can explain . Hats off
Very nice video and can be easily back tested. I have seen this joint family system causing issues in my own family and my wife’s family. I was so scared that I ran away overseas to live away from everyone 😊
Let alone in laws it is very hard to like in the same household with your own parents once you hit a certain age. Nobody is to be blamed but it's extremely hard for two generations to coexist under the same roof. Nobody has the energy to adjust and compromise on daily basis. That greatly impacts mental health too. Living away from each other improves relationships also.
Without watching whole video I am commenting......joint family is worse thing....alag alag Rahi to pyaar bi bana rhta hai..... Ullu or befkoof log hote hai jo joint family me rhne ke liye majboor karte hai .... Yh baat samna nai hai ...chahee khud ki jindgi hee khrab ho jaye
Sharma sharmi me Puri life secrifice kar do bas
Yes jitna jaldi samjh le utna acha ..... Is Sharmaa sharmi se jitna jaldi bahar ayee utna acha apne liye bi or bachoo ke liye bi .... Buree to waise bi hai hee
Quite obvious, ladies are mostly the breakers of families,
@@rachnayadav612बधाई हो आपको । ❤
@@nipunarjundhruv3852 for what?
Ekdum sahi kaha sir. Mai ye sb 13 saal jhel chuki hu. Sbka khana bna k khud khane k liye saas ya jethani k bolne k bad kha skti thi. Agar galti se phle kha liya to ghar me bawal ho jata tha. Or kam 12 members ka sara mujhe hi krna pdta tha kyunki sbse choti bahu hu
Same to you
Very true Sir ……. But small towns and old towns like Ambala make life miserable for Bahu who shifts out from Inlaws….. Even sister inlaws they gossip and defame the Bahu…. Sir yeh kabhii nahin khatam hoga because Indian men are tuned that way. U can start a NGO and half of Indian women will join that for liberation 😂…. Thanku Sir really appreciate your vlogs and this topic you explain extremely well being male….. Hats off Sir
In joint family, research shows that academic performance of pupils is very poor.
Namashkar Sir
I'm 22, from Jaipur and
I've started watching your videos from two months, and i'm glad that i found your channel, which guides youngsters. And i Thank you for being a mentor forr youngster like me.
Sir there's a popular topic "dating"
Please guide your views about it.
Its so confusing should youngsters date or not??
Please express your thoughts about it🙏🏻
Depends on person to person 😊
My in lows & family members are very good people. After getting married I lived together 5years coz can't live without parents but I was mentaly stressed due to many things happend as we earning less as compare to other people in family literaly people wnted us to leave but my husband was not ready coz deeply connected to his family I can understand the pain of leaving family behind as I got married& left my parents house I didn't wanted my husband to go through the same pain atleast I didn't wanted to be the reason of that pain finally something happend & he agreed with me to leave there house now still there are many issues but we are connected to family& atleast m not in mental hospital. Post one year I started working after marriage those 8 hours in a day was best time in my life it was not that there was everything smooth in office was in corporate have gone through all positive negative things of corporate culture but that time saved my life els I feel would be in some hospital& mentally Sick thnx for the efforts sir
Very True content of 2023. App ne keh diya Bol ni pa rahe jeh Sach h. Ap ne kush b galat ni kaha sirf Dhyan se sune ne ki jarurat h. Big salute n maza a gaya as usual. Thanks
Ji sahi bola aapne sir... Bahot gandagi dekhi hun Mai joint family k... Relatable
Sir you are absolutely right. Please put some focus on these joint family systems...These belief system in indian families are really pathetic..I agree with you sir..nuclear families are really good..please make videos like this sir and create awareness
ये चेंज ऑलरेडी शुरू हो चुका है। और बहुत बढ़िया है। हमारा आज हमारे बीते हुए कल से हमेशा बेहतर ही होता है। जो भी परिवर्तन पूरे भारतीय समाज मे हो रहे हैं वो समाज को और बेहतर बना रहे हैं।
पुराने समय की पूछ पकड़ कर बैठे रहते तो आज भी हम आदी मानव होते। वो बात अलग है कि कुछ लोगों को परिवर्तन से ज्यादा पीड़ा होती है।
Very true Sir, ye janwaro wali baat maine b apne husband se boli thi ek baar pr unhone halke me li ab mai ye video dikhaungi unko ,ki meri tarah no. 1 clarity giver b sochte hai 😅😂. Amazing eye opening videos Sir 👍👍
Amit sir ji your vedios are very contemporary, relating and practical which gives too much clarity to the youth.
All these points are practicality of life. But the saddest part is, even though our parents know all this, but they never tell about these points to their kids.
Moreover, jealousy factor is also seen among cousins living in joint families.
Very meaningful and eye opening video. This message should be announced on loud speakers in society👏👏😇
Rightly said sasur ko dekne ki jarurat nai nighty me... alag se hi tadne lag jate hai
Sir kuch time phle tak hum b ek sath rhte the but ab 2 mahine se lag rhte h . And its very good system. Father sath wle ghr me rhte hai ... Elder brother 1st floor par aur main ground floor par rhta hu ... Aur ye sukoon dene wala hai. Living area me get together hote hai . Thanks for your valuable videos 🙏🏻
Father ka khana n care kse hoti h frr🤔🤔🤔
Great job making this video!. Even if you don't own a house, (and dependent parents also don't own a house) then at least you should be capable of renting two houses - one for your parents and another one where you live with your spouse. If you can't do that, then like you mentioned in the video, you don't deserve marriage. This again boils down to your income. So earn more and make life easy!
This had hit me hard ..'ladki to aise hi paida ho jati hain'
Ase hi pad likh jati h..ase hi naukri b lag jati hai .ase hi ladko jitna kamane lgti h...
This is just so true...in 2023 even, I see ppl looking for those girls which can just take care of the house..ghar k kaam n all .and serve to the family. Like vo ladki ka Janam hi sirf patriarchal families ki sewa krne k lie hua h..
No one pays heed to how a girl's parents go through to raise her.they also make a lot sacrifices and then they have a big heart to send that girl to another house.
.I think it's more hard than as of the boy's parents. 😢
Hats up to u sir . U speak practically all family issued. But ur videos should come in Tver channels . So that it will reach to many. AAP jaisa fathers n father in laws ki jaroorath hai is duniya mein . But ur words doesn’t reached to the toxic in-laws.
This isn't new. In our families it's an unwritten rule that children once their marriage fixed they have to move out. It's a must. In our families it's rare or next to impossible that parents keep their children even after marriage. It's a big No. My parents came out. We have moved out. So do our children in future. Can not think of keeping them even after marriage. This is common phenomenon in our friends and family circle. All our aunts, both sides this is the norm. We meet in different homes once in a while, enjoy.Those live in flat system have purchased homes in different floors or atleast few blocks away . This is so convenient and peaceful for all. generations
Hahahah,
Majaa aa gyaa... Jabardast topic.
I will take care of this thing by the time.
We need more such topic clarity sir...
Thankyou so much.
100% right, it's bitter Truth, parents ke sath to kalesh Hoga hi
Only problem for today’s joint family system is Generation gap in mindset. Rest all is subjective and specific individual problem.
Generation gap is huge.
Brutally honest video Sir.👏👏👏.Every point you raised is correct.Families need to consider these things.
Parents and old age people shud understand the value of modern lifestyle and dressing and accept it and be flexible..modern lifestyle means living with comforts and what suits u...change with changing times... that's the key
Also expect the same from ur children when u ll in ur oldage
Sir ji,
आप बहुत बहुत ही सही बात सरल तरीके से बोल देते हैं,
आप का बहुत बहुत धन्यावाद
Main apki baat se puri tarah se agree hu sir kyuki main khud ek joint family mein rehti hu aur meri shadi ko pura ek saal hogya hai aur iss saal mein maine itna sbh kuch dekh liya hai family mein ki main explain nhi krti yha per apki vidoes dekh kar stress kam ho jata hai aur himmat bhi aati hai
Mere to twenty years ho gaya mujhe anxiety ho Gaye mere Beti kahti hai maa aapne kyu sadhi ki
Stress kabhi khatam nahi hogo joint family me yahi stress Bahu ko bimar kar deta hai
Mat raho joint family me kitna bhi kar do bahu ka koi nam nahi hai koi bahu khush nahi joint family me nand to alag aafath
Makes sense 👍 we also live in separate quarters next to my in laws, we hav our separate dwelling but it's adjacent, we got this space renovated just b4 marriage so that we can live peacefully.