How a narcissistic mother lacks empathy towards her daughter
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- čas přidán 5. 05. 2024
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Disclaimer: The advice and opinion are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding your condition.
Yes everything you said is true, my moms favorite was "Why are you always crying?"
This is spot on. There has never been room for me, I was an anchor baby to her. I went NC 21 months ago. Life is good!
This explains my mother, and it took me a while to realize that.
Same for me I didn't realize until recently when I was in my 40's, it's hard
Me. I’m thinking about going homeless because I also have a narcissistic dad who hates women. It’s like where does it end. I have nowhere else to go 😔
I’m so sorry 💙 My demon brother, (a monster created by my demon mother), legally stole my house. So I’m afraid of ending up homeless, too 😣
@@LittleLulubee oh no!! I hope things get better for you!!! 🤍
@@victoriasigal Thank you! I hope they do for you, too 🙏
I had this situation too, believe it or not. I feared that my father was going to kick me out for years, and then it finally happened in my last year of college. Thankfully I was able to couch surf with friends and keep working for a few months until I was able to go back to college. It was one of the most difficult times of my life.
Thankfully I had a long time therapist that helped guide me through it to an extent. My mother is not entirely like my father and she was willing to pay for a cheap room in someone's house and the gov't paid for my last year of college b/c I was an older student (26) and they did not have to count my parents income anymore. I was considered a full adult and had no income, since I couldn't manage working and doing my degree. She helped me pay for other expenses, since she wanted to see me graduate.
I also had to manage a massive depression due to my parents kicking me out and my boyfriend dumping me as soon as I got the apartment. I finally started doing the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). I got out my "Feeling Good Book" by Dr. David Burns, a notebook and pen and began to process the emotions that I did not have time to deal with for months. I also saw the campus medical service and they suggested I take an anti-depressant. Perhaps that also helped me get through a tough period.
I don't know your age, but it sounds like you are stuck at home. That is a nightmare. You have to find a way to become independent. I don't know if you've gone to college, but perhaps if you are low income/no income, applying for student aid would pay for most, if not all of it. Perhaps one of your parents could help pay for books, food, cheap housing. I found the room for rent through campus services. If college is not on the agenda, then working should cover expenses for a roommate situation. If you are not old enough to leave yet, and it is not too physically abusive, perhaps it is best that you stay and graduate and then you can save up money to go into your own housing. That's what my therapist advised and that's what I did.
If it is extremely physically abusive, then CPS might be your best choice.
Anyway, there is a way forward, but you have to find it. Ultimately, you have to decide what you want in life and find a way to move in that direction. I don't think that includes homelessness. It is hard to get out of it, once you've done it. You will have few resources just to survive, which is why putting up with your parents for a while might sadly be a better option. I have heard that you can't get a job without a home address. You also need good clothing, showers, and some stability to apply for jobs. Find a way to stay out of the house as much as possible. Libraries, cafes and long walks. Spending lots of time with friends or working kept me out of the house. College both moves you toward a goal and you also get housing, food etcetera and gets you away from the abusive people. You can also perhaps find supportive friends there. When you're done you can get your Professors to write references for you and that will help you get a good job.
If you go, be sure to keep your Grade Point Average high, and it keeps your options open for Grad school. It also looks good to employers. If you are on the Dean's List, all the better. However, any college degree looks better than no college degree to employers.
I'm realizing that I've written an essay. That's okay, as long as I think I might help someone through their "darkest hour of need". No one should have to be in this position. However, it is what it is. You need to focus all your energy on doing for yourself, and not getting distracted by your abusive parents. They may want to sabotage you b/c of their demons, but if your goal is independence, then you need to find a way to achieve that, while still dealing with them. I've said what I wished my parents had been capable of communicating to me as I navigated adult life. If it helps you or anyone at all, then I feel it was worth taking the time to share this. Good luck to everyone navigating life with disordered parents.