Are We Gentle Parenting the Right Way? | Kier & Noémie
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
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👨🏿: @KierGaines
👧🏾: @NoemieGaines
Music In the vlog:
Nice Out - Dillon Sitts
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
To My Repeat Offenders
This One's On You
(Give us your best poem in comments!)
Parenting inspo post by Katrice Taylor: reelCqk0OO...
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The babies are blessed to have two stable minded mentally healthy parents! Whatever parenting journey you both take I'm sure will bear fruit.
When I say I relate to Naomi soo much like the way that she expresses and even down to not being much of a hugger I relate!
I grew up with that "children should be seen and not heard" mindset. That's why it was so important for me to break that cycle. I want my little person to know that her opinion and her voice matter. We have end of the day talks about how the day went and really dive in if it was a rough day. I also don't spank my child which many people don't agree with. I can't remember what I was watching or listening to but it clicked when the woman reminded her husband that he disciplines his students and gets them to understand what the issue is without laying a hand on them . Then she asked why not try that with your own kid. I'm paraphrasing but as a former teacher and later AP that really stuck with me. Every so often I fight with the urge to snatch her up, but I don't want her to grow up afraid of me like I was of my parents. Anyway, so far so good. Talking things out, explaining things, leading by example, role playing through things, and locking myself in the bathroom before I lay hands😅 is working well for us. Thank you for this video! I needed to hear this!😊
I really, really appreciate this video and your perspectives on this topic. I needed this right now with parenting my 6yr old. So many points made here on letting your kids be their own people. Have their space. Not protecting them from lifes challenges, but going through it together with them. How both of you have looked into how you were brought up and made decisions on parenting based off those situations. The respect you have for each others parenting styles. Everything!
I just turned 52, and want you guys to know that you all are beautifully living in your truths and its BEAUTIFUL to see. Young black love is so necessary to witness in this day and time.
My son is 31, an only child who was raise primarily with me as a single mother and also being raised with gentle parenting by my mother (your breakdown of it was what my mother was doing).I believe it really helped him be so vocal and intentional about feeling and always speaking up, and I love that about him. He and his wife have been together since high school and through college, they make my heart smile. You guys make my heart smile as well,. You millennials are bringing back the black family structure and breaking generational chains with open positive communication. Thank you guys for opening up your lives and home to us for a peek inside every week. #DMV #GoGo4Life
Oh yeah!😂😂 I have heard of all kind of adjective asses!😅😂
Again I relate to Naomi last point about not making it about you. It makes me mad too.
Okayyyyy seeeee this one here….. ohhhhh this hit big. Treating kids like that don’t have stock in the family…. it never occurred to me that I was making my kids feel that way… damn!!!! I’m that parent that said all of that and truly it’s only because it’s a trigger. This part made me remember how I felt like I didn’t have anything of my own when I was growing up. And I want my kids to have an opinion and I want them to speak up because I know the trauma that I experienced as a result of being a seen child and not heard and how I didn’t have an opinion or a voice. Sheeesh this episode was definitely triggering. Wheew so now it’s time to sit with myself and process. And also apologize to my children for inflicting my ish on them! Thank you guys for always having those difficult and necessary conversations!❤❤
I have learned better parenting for my grandchildren. As a single parent I didn’t have the necessary patience.
Repeat offender checking in.
I like the group hug
This is a great conversation. I remember hearing from another parent that raising children is easy. That same person also questioned why a parent, specifically a mother, would want time away from their child/children. And again they're basing those statements on their own experiences. My non expert opinion is that child rearing differs from family to family and you can love and adore your children and still want time to yourself. Like everyone deserves to do things for themselves. Who wouldn't want a time out, break, intermission to just sit and breathe. Raising children is a job in itself. lol
NOW THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE KEIR! If you are a 70's or 80's child...You do as they say not as they do! My grandparents were black farmers and I told them at an early age that ALL THE GRANDCHILDREN were nothing more than mordern day SLAVES😂 ..We weren't allowed to have an opinion!
I agree with Noemie in terms of expressing to someone that they hurt my feelings but they immediately make it about them. I get told I should know they were never hurt my feelings or I should've known they were playing despite they're speaking to me in a serious tone. For me, I feel I now have to choose between speaking up for myself or letting it go and run the risk of getting my feelings hurt or getting embarrassed in front of other people and the situation escalating.
27:49 it makes a difference when our children know that their thoughts, ideas, and opinions are heard and taken into consideration. Listen to and valued.
It's huge to be seen, and heard by a parent/guardian makes all the difference in the ongoing relationship.
That was good!
That's so true Kier about not seeing ourselves as we really are until we get a closer and deeper look at ourselves from up close. That's when we see all the flaws.
This talk was so organic and helpful. Though my son's are adults, I still try to find ways to communicate with them better and validate their feelings. Thank you for sharing ❤
Knowing when to push and when to fall back is a great question to regularly ask as
a parent. For me, I've come to learn first it's an ongoing question to ask, and being ok with asking, it is the beginning of sitting in the fact that it's case by case-child by child bases. Typically, if you're asking the question, the answer will come in the moment or gradually. And get comfortable with waiting until you know.
It's ok to tell your kiddos to give you a minute; I don't know how to move forward on this matter, but when I do, I will respond best for both of us.
Seeing us navigate through tough situations allows them to also learn to do the same....with us and others
Love the conversations you two have. I'm an aunt but I watch folks like you too learn what I can do.
I love y’all sit down talks! When the plane landing is mentioned I get a lil sad. Let me stop being codependent and go fix my kids some tuna sandwiches, grapes and chips 😂
😂😂😂
Repeat Offender here! I'm loving these topics and how you dissect them. I enjoy the authenticity and the disclaimers.😊
I hadn’t thought of it like this before as I also grew up in the ‘separation of children and parents’ era, but I like the involvement of children in (certain) decisions. Not only is it teaching them early How to make decisions for themselves. It’s also seeming like a great way to introduce boundaries. Kudos.
Great view points and I love the communication and vibe between you guys keep the lord at hand and know that God does things and puts experiences in our lives just for these very reasons. Amen
As I'm looking at this video and seeing you as young parents that are trying to correct the issues that you seen as a problem in your childhood and applying the best tools a knowledge is great. Im a parent of 3 adult children and I'm tell you everything you all talked about in this video was things I experienced as a parent sometimes a single parent. All of this made me change my life in which help my adult children become more grounded. Thank you and hopefully we can come together in a duo video. I think there some things we can teach the parenting world in help making it better.
The Nanny ....
I’ve never heard of the term “slack ass.” I like and get it, though. Good stuff!
That bar that Noémie dropped at the 49 min mark facts.
🌞
Love y'all! This is a super dope perspective and topic. Y'all are amazing parents. Thank you for being open about y'all parenting styles and the importance of taking steps back to evaluate awareness of situations on a case by case basis.
I understand what Kier means because I have Expectations of my almost 15 year old it's very hard at times because raising him alone is hard sometimes
God Bless you guys, I struggle with this and you guys brought so much light.
What kind of counseling, would teach how to apply what you have mentioned? I for sure need to learn another ways, because my way isn't working.
Y’all both look like you’ve gotten a bit more sun! It looks gorgeous on y’all
Slack-ass, oh yeah 😂
❤❤❤
Oh yeah
I recorded my son when he was having a tantrum. He didn't like how it looked once I played it back for him. I noticed I blink a thousand times, never noticed until I saw myself on video in the choir stand..I also didn't have the rule of kids doors should never be closed. I continued that once I had my son. I don't see the big deal. Kids need privacy once they are a certain age.
Kier, i ain’t never heard the term slack ass 😂😂😂😂
Are there times when you guys disagree on how the other handles a moment with the kids?
You guys have to do a podcast
Oh ya
I love when the kids interrupt the talk - boobie and boobieII
Hmmm well I say discipline your children your way, as far as I'm concerned that falling out IA not tolerated in my house and my daughter is doesn't either with her kids and she's well in her 30s. It's respect first and foremost
I like the group hug