đŹ the 12 core strategies for ADULT ADHD & Executive Function (Tips to live by)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 18. 09. 2021
- đș In this video you get my 12 core strategies, because I always get emails FROM ADULTS asking how to apply strategies to adults with ADHD or Executive Function challenges. You might want to take a few notes...
Get Transcript or see this on my actual blog here:: sethperler.com/adult-adhd-tips/
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đ§ ABOUT- I'm Seth of SethPerler.com, & I create Sunday videos for you, to try and give back for the people who helped me through my executive function struggles. I want a world where education gives ALL kids, including these outside-the-box learners, the tools to build a great future, and it's all about "Executive Function". But we've got a long way to go. Let's do this right.
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#ExecutiveFunction, #adhd, #2e
*Starts watching video to see tips to dealing with ADHD gets bored of video and stopped watching because of ADHD*
Ahahahah
Yeah, me too. But maybe I'll come back to it later because I'm being told to " listen more at work," so I saved it.
Same. After 5 minutes on 1.5x speed...
@@mnmlst1 I watch most CZcams videos on 1.25 speed & some on 1.5. Don't know why some people talk too slow.
Too many words, too fast, no visuals... make this too hard to track/pay attention to. Whoops I guess I'm whining! FFS
1. 5:11 principles behind ideas
2. 6:22 Frankenstudy - customized systems that work for you. Trust your own strategies.
3. 7:43 Mindset - stop whining, ask our kids for ideas, ask your friends for honest feedback, ask a therapist
4. 10:30 Reliable planners
5. 11:13 Use a timer
6. 11:41 Accountability
7. 12:22 Envision
8. 13:19 Get help
9. 14:30 Clean slating - micro projects and massive action
10. 15:50 visual homes for everything
11. 16:50 Play
12. 17:38 meditation
Not all heroes wear capes, thank you
Thank you
You da real mvp
Thank you so much â€ïž
@@RandomBo0 this comment made me laugh out loud
Hi
I come from a 3rd world country where there is no awareness about ADHD let alone executive dysfunction. I was branded a problem child and both my parents disciplined me for years.
Once I got a job and could afford mental healthcare I have visited several psychiatrists and got misdiagnosed over and over . And Iâm struggling to find a psychiatrist whoâd understand my problem - have an appointment lined up again in 2 days.
A lot of people like me greatly benefit from having online resources which are low-cost and accessible. So thank you for this.
For me the mindset is different. I am absolutely not like a victim and need to go the opposite way and have more compassion. I still keep treating myself like a non-ADHD person then getting frustrated when I can't meet those standards. I want to learn patience and compassion for myself.
You are not alone in that, my friend. Iâve been working hard on easing myself into things and treating myself with much more kindness and compassion. For the longest time my âideal selfâ was someone who was neurotypical. Someone who didnât have the same extent of roadblocks or challenges I do. Iâm still trying to rework that vision.
@@lailanityler2380 I felt that. Iâve always envisioned myself as someone very put together in all aspects-prepared, on time, professional, super aware, disciplined, structured, etc.
However, with ADHD thatâs not fully realistic or atleast it wonât come as easily.
I have to remember my other strengths. Iâm quite organized, I can hyperfocus, I can bs my way through things (Iâve gotten good jobs in my field with little to no preparation for the interview), I can accomplish things in a time crunch, etc.
I am âquirkyâ in some ways and I have to remind myself that thatâs okay. I never realized until being diagnosed with ADHD & learning more of the disorder that I struggle with âmaskingâ.
@@MochaRose990 Legtimately!!!! Itâs really important to remind ourselves of our strengths when all we seem to be reminded of is our shortcomings, especially when striving to be super âput togetherâ all the time. I had the exact same vision for myself as you!! It can feel extremely challenging to acknowledge how our differences donât make us inferior âadultsâ or humans. Especially since our (ADHD) brains struggle specifically with executive function a lot of the time, a.k.a. âAdultingâ.
Workarounds have been a tough find, and I know for me I still lowkey struggle with actually trying things because of a two-fold thing, one one side, I feel like it probably wonât work out, so why bother-
On the other, a part of me feels like I shouldnât need the work around at all- so again, why bother?
I struggle with the idea of âpretending to be normalâ through, well, NORMAL means. And totally get you on the âmaskingâ thing too. Even UNmasking has been a struggle, because itâs unclear whether or not how we act when relaxing into it is actually us or if weâre just exaggerating since we now have âthe excuseâ of knowing whatâs up with our brains.
Especially when around other people who point out âyou didnât used to act this wayâ.
@@lailanityler2380 I can understand this-finding the balance of cutting yourself slack and not making excuses. This comes into play mostly with time management and arriving on time for me.
Also, I just want to point out that since being diagnosed, learning more about the science & symptoms behind ADHD, Iâve gradually improved and built different skills.
I now use an app called Things 3 (Xtodo on the Apple Store is also very similar), I use âHabitâ app, slowly began reading âAtomic Habitsâ (started off with the summaries to get the gist), binaural beats or lofi beats on youtube, meditation, yoga, and exercise, and Iâm medicated, etc and will say these things have been life changing. I am much more aware now, less overwhelmed, more on top of things than before, try new things, etc. So I say all this to say, donât give up. Digital organization using an app like Things 3, Xtodo, or Todoist are absolute game changers!!! Iâd highly recommend Peter Akkieâs videos on the app. I never considered using an app like that and the layout and structure wasnât anything like what I was use to but now I couldnât be without the app (along with others like Google Calendar and an app for random list that arenât task). His videos do a great job of explaining the importance of task management vs time management and one of those apps I previously mentioned can seriously help.
My biggest issue is still time blindness, initiation, and preparing beforehand but I still significantly improved some executive functioning skills since last year when I was diagnosed.
@@MochaRose990 Iâll have to poke around for apps!!!
I personally use analog task management systems rn (a bullet journal and a heroâs journal). Iâm also medicated (just recently switched to a script that is working MUCH better for me) and am working on meditating regularly again. But I feel like having digital extensions/supplements to my systems would be super usefulâŠ- Iâll have to check out those apps, I also have my own copy of atomic habits Iâve yet to crack open! Itâs honestly SUPER vindicating to hear that Iâm not alone in my struggles with time blindness and initiation too, just- my struggles and place in my journey in general honestly XD.
It really helps to know Iâm not alone, Iâll keep on the look out for tools to help other workarounds for sure!
In the mean time, how do you think we can best exercise patience with ourselves as we continue to work and improve? I find looking at where I was in comparison to where I am can actually help, sometimes.
My notes just for me :)
1. principles: look for the principles behind what is taught to kids or generally for adhd: a good planner etc
2. frankenstudy: customise and personalise strategies for you based on your brain
3. mindset: we are dysfunctional, we have cognitive distortions, we can easily avoid hard work. so stop whining and being a victim! ask people for honest feedback. ask a therapist. do your deep work and journaling, support groups - you deserve it. be okay with the struggle, yes it's frustrating but it's okay. next, what are your values? what is most important to me, what do i want to spend my precious time and energy on? we have an opportunity today
4. reliable planner: don't make excuses, you need a reliable planner to organise things! invest time in designing a system that works for you
5. use a timer: all the time - digital, physical, etc, tricking ourselves into doing small amounts of work
6. accountability: gets us moving. get an accountability partner, a gym trainer you pay for, a friend, someone you look up to. we won't execute without good accountability!
7. envision: coach yourself. literally close your eyes and envision coaching yourself, what would you tell your inner child? mental imagery is very good for change, seth does it every day. envision things going well.
8. get help: we are social creatures. it's hard but it's important. the strongest, happiest people ask for help all the time.
9. clean slating: we have a lot of mental, digital and physical clutter. how do we clean slate our life? the first way is "massive action" - this is when you're sick and tired of your space and you turn your phone off, shut the door and clean the space over a designated period of time. the second way is "micro projects" - always be doing tiny tasks and projects, like minimising and downsizing. clutter interferes with our health.
10. visual homes: create visual homes/spaces/storage for everything. e.g. the plates have a home in the kitchen. what do you need a home for? your files, cables, socks? colour-code and make it visual.
11. play, play play!!!!! connect and have fun with people, do things that are fun and laugh. relate to people.
12: meditation: sitting in stillness and quiet, focussing on breath. one minute in the morning and night and listen to your thoughts.
i don't have kids but I am a 19 year old girl that just got diagnosed a couple months ago - I've finally released every 3-6 days I wake up with terrible executive function and I want to learn to just get through the day without turning to maladaptive practices like overeating for stimulation.
Thank you so so muchđ!!!!
I stole your notes..
MVP for helping the people that left the video playing and drifted away.
Not me, I stayed dead focus.
Thank you so very much, your notes are so much better than mine were, even after rewinding and watching several times over several days.
Oh Seth! You forget so many adults are diagnosed late in life and they are beginning just like kids. It's not whining or making excuses when adults with ADHD are struggling. We struggle in the same way as kids people just expect more out of us because we are grown. As we get older the load on our executive functioning grows and grows and grows. Yes we need to move through paralysis, but just as it didn't work when we were kids it doesn't work when we are adults to tell us to stop whining and live this one life we were blessed with. Strategies are useful. Thank goodness you included some good ones. Just here to offer empathy to those who are struggling. Some days are going to be hard. Aim for overall forward progress and know that there will be set backs and hard days. You are not a whiny baby. You are a neurodivergent adult in a world built for neurotypicals.
Starts at 5:11 for all ADHD people with anxiety (myself included)
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!!!
i skipped this and came back to read comments if they helped get-to-it
đđ
Thank you â€
The anxiety stoking was really effective, wasn't it? It sounded like he was getting ready to dump 20 minutes of toxic productivity advice to help him deal with his personal grief.
It wasn't that bad, in the end, but I'm reminded that research has shown it's not clinically effective to tell people to "stop whining" to help them deal with the realities of their situations. I wonder if he tells his partner or kids to "get over it" for grief, anxiety, depression, etc., and then expects them to get over it?
His advice would be easy to follow....if I didn't have adhd.
I own my own business and run very complicated projects. I am also a female in menopause. For women at this stage of life, our normal ADHD presentation and symptoms are on a hormonally driven roller coaster. I was also diagnosed in my late 30' and aside from a bottle of pills, was given ZERO information or guidance from my medical providers (sadly very common). I barely had time to get my ADHD sea-legs before everything started to change. Thank God for CZcams and podcasts or else I would be doing much worse right now, probably depressed and thinking I'm going insane.
Because of the time-blindness and the blinding optimism, I find myself feeling behind, late and insanely stressed out often. I have adopted a mantra: I will get twice as much done in 4 hours after exercise and rest than I will in 8 hours on empty tanks. There is no amount of medication that can make up for the mental calm I experience from regular exercise and enough sleep. When I'm feeling panicked about a deadline or horribly guilty, my knee-jerk reaction is to ignore as many needs as possible in favor of "getting it done". That usually results in late nights, no exercise, poor eating and a fuzzy brain that barely responds to my medication. I have to use some serious Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tricks I learned to push my thoughts aside and trust that if I go to bed early and take time out of my morning to get some exercise, that I WILL finish as much work if not more than I would have trying to cram late into the night and work exhausted the next day.
D
Summary tailored for my interpretation and implementation
1 principles
2 frankenstein tailor to yourself
3 mindset
Stop whining
Be okay with struggle
4 reliable planning system
5 use timers
6 accountability
7 envision:
Coach yourself
See yourself succeeding
8 get help
9 clean slate
Declutter macro and micro
10 give everything a visual home
11 play
12 meditate
Thank you!! I found his approach quite abrasive and insensitive for adults who are actually struggling with severe ADHDâŠI honestly had to stop watching bc I found myself wondering how this man is able to coach children and be helpful in any way without scaring them⊠and if he knows heâs addressing anyone with ADHD he should be aware that hypersensitive is a symptom regardless of ageâŠso his technique of opening with the whole I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU BC YOURE AN ADULT method seems bizarre, and Iâm sure was such a turn off for more people than just myself-as Iâm generally unbothered after going through DBT when I was in the thick of late stage Lyme disease (it-and the other tick borne infections can reaaally screw up the brain until treated; misdiagnoses of bipolar & schizophrenia are common, but for myself and many others, doctors are just perplexed because we donât fit into the exact definition of why one condition, but have some from multiple psych conditionsâŠrage is almost universal in the first couple of years)ANYWAYS wow Iâm showing my ADHD!!! So DBT was absolutely life changing and I changed sooo much for the better. Donât remember the last time I felt remotely triggered by anything Iâve watched or read by âwell-meaningâ people. And I found this kind of offensive at timesâŠif this dude has adhd and no other comorbidities that would overhaul hypersensitivity, Iâm shocked he made this video to begin with⊠anyways THANK YOU I was trying to fast forward to get to his points but found it too frustrating so this is great!
Seth, this was very helpful; and I did appreciate the warning before. I hope that people will also watch your work for kids before judging your manner of talking which is 100% right for kids.
To clarify my comment -you talk to kids in a way which is appropriate for them, and not like you talked in this video!
Tough love, so true! Thank you!
Meditation ? I can't do that. I listen to music that soothes me.
For me the most important of these was "Get help", but would add the caveat "from the right sources". Before being diagnosed, I sought help from sources that had really no expertise or even knowledge of mental health or ADHD. The result was that I spent years trying to be neurotypical, which obviously didn't work. It was when I finally sought professional help for mental health that I got diagnosed. With treatment and knowledge about adhd, I can now look for help that is tailored to my needs, and I am learning how to evaluate what types of tools are useful to try, and which ones will be a waste of time. This has been life changing for me and my one regret was that I didn't seek help from the right sources much sooner. Still, better late than never.
I think another great tip would be to get enough rest. I struggle with this and I can tell a big difference in life when I'm fully rested. It's insane, the simplest things in life can make such a huge difference.
I recently was diagnosed and I agree. I have 2 young kids, and it is much much worse since not getting good enough sleep. I hope more women will get help and manage their ADHD or other issues before they have kids. (Which, my OCD tendencies and ADHD didnât surface more until after so itâs a hard situation đą)
You're right about sleep. Also not eating sugar. I did really well on both Paleo and Lion Diet. I was younger when I did Paleo but it was a great diet. No Sugar, gluten, white potatoes, corn, or rice. It's from Mark's Daily Apple. I felt very clear in my thinking.
The Lion Diet put my Dishydrotic eczema in remission. I felt really good except it really messed with my digestion but I think it reset my gut flora, thus the seeming cure of my contact dermatitis. It didn't cure my ADHD but it did help my mental state.
Iâve had shitty sleep my entire lifeâŠ
I have two therapists. One is an addiction Doctor, the other specializes in children's ADHD. The therapist who specializes in ADHD specifically, I was seeing her for PTSD from 22 years in the Marines when about three months into our Zoom conferences, she asked if anybody has ever asked me about ADHD, I am 50. I always looked at ADHD as a scapegoat. After she said she was confident I am an ADHD hero (my term), I started to research the science and I am astounded at the evidence. Every single strategy you of the 12 were spot on. Now, if only my executive function would allow me the freedom. I am working on it, but thank you for the advice.
Franklin Planners are a life management system, based on Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People ". He has awesome series of "7 Habits" books...will transform your life. Also, the 1% Principle, something I did on my own, discovered internally as a child 40+ years ago, focus on doing one single thing better the next day. Process your day at the end of the day, review it, watch it like a movie, replay scenarios that didn't go well like a movie with you trying some different response to the events or circumstances, replay the movie watching yourself responding in healthier manner & toward shared positive benefit to everyone. Practice it in your mind several times & commit to doing it at least once the next day. This daily introspection, self reflection, analysis, reality testing, imagine your positive adaptation and visualize, practice; be fair and acknowledge where you could have done better, and resolve to do that the very next day. Go to sleep at peace with yourself.
No Fly Zones!
Certain areas where I'm not allowed to set ANYTHING down. My car is a no fly zone. Everything that enters my car MUST leave with me. If I leave even a single empty soda bottle in my car, it'll look like a dumpster in there in no time.
So sorry for your loss Seth. Thanks so much for your videos and summits and all the amazing things you do. You help so many people. After the summit I did this book with my teen who is 2E (The Growth Mindset Workbook for Teens: Say Yes to Challenges, Deal with Difficult Emotions, and Reach Your Full Potential). I would suggest this also for adults, it talks all about mindsets and values. Again sorry for your loss Seth, I appreciate all that you do.
I LOVE the attitude you're putting across in this video. I've always been reluctant to talk with some folks about my ADHD because I don't want to come across as someone using it an an excuse. I don't see myself as "special" because of ADHD and I struggle to keep silent around people who seem to think they are (a big reason I hate TikTok). I've been working on my own "Frankenstein" systems since I was in my mid 20s (before that, I was a disaster and it's a miracle I got through college). I'm trying to teach my daughter to build her own Frankenstein stuff. I'm SO GLAD I found this channel, because while I've been making strides with my own ADHD, helping my kid has been a massive challenge. The only really strong feature I can offer is empathy, because I've been frustrated in the same ways she has, I've cried over the same kinds of situations, etc. But, since every person is different, my approach doesn't always fit for her.
As for myself, I need to work harder finding accountability partners. Also, micro projects, which for me often morph into major projects. But most of all, sadly, I need to PLAY more. I've become extremely isolationist over the past couple years, apart from my nuclear family. I've been seeing social functions as annoying distractions from my ability to attend to stuff at home.
I don't have ADHD and had to fast forward the first several minutes. (I'm watching to help my husband.)
So???
I am 50 and newly diagnosed as ADHD. This video is immensely helpful and I thank you. đ
I appreciate your valuable information, especially in light of your loss and personal pain. I'm so grateful your work has helped me to make sense of myself, other adults similar to me, and those that are younger and struggling in life. A shade of "tough love" (via keeping it real) is helpful to me. Thanks for empowering me to trust myself.
This was literally the most applicable advice Iâve ever heardâŠyou say it so matter of factly, and I appreciate it, because you having that attitude is creating accountability. We know what we need to do, itâs doing it.
I find for myself and my students, to help with being overwhelmed.. break it down into steps, so it doesn't feel so overwhelming. Focus on smaller pieces, and not the whole project at once.
Iâve also found meditation life changing. When you stop independent thought you get ideas to do things from your inner being. They send you ideas which lead to the things that you want. Takes about 15 minutes, do it first thing. Focus on the air conditioning or a white noise sound. There is a cd called getting into the vortex which I listen to.
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your former students. Thank you for sharing the message though, extremely important and I appreciate you taking the time.
Thank you so much!
Yes! Thanks for making this video. I send a lot of adults your way for either themselves or their kids.
Thank you so so so so much for this video. Whilst I've read and watched a lot of advice on ADHD this really resonated with me as you didnt just focus on practical tips and tricks but themes and concepts to help us govern our lives. Subscribed thank you
Thank u so much, im 27 and I've had a hard time dealing with myself and my own bs, finally discovered i have adhd (wich i suspected cuz im soo hyperactive), loved these tips and strategies, DECLUTTER! đ„ I enjoy getting educated on the subject and this gives me hope for a more peaceful way of life
Thoroughly enjoyed this video. Thank you! Sometimes we donât give ourselves enough credit for the small successes. I struggle with completing everything but When I do, I will remember to celebrate! Thanks again!
You are so welcome!
timers are 100% needed, started using them recently to bring me out of the stupor (trademark), worked like a freaking miracle lol!
especially combined with "we'll buy as much of tasty stuff as many of tasks you'd finish till the timer stops", or change it to less expensive way to trick your brain hahaha
I just started with the timers and oh my glob why did I wait so long. They really work.
I've been browsing Amazon for visual countdown timers for ADHD for a couple of weeks now.
"Number Five: Use a Timer! Use a whole bunch of timers. Put them all over the place and use them."
OK. I'm convinced. I'm going to Add To Cart! I was going to get One. I now have advice that solidly supports the idea of buying multiple timers.
Note to Self: Check the description for "no loud ticking noise." đ
Thanks you for taking the time to make this video. I wasnât going to leave a comment but I just wanted to say how much you are dead on about meditation. I am 29 years old and recently diagnosed with ADHD and just started medication two weeks ago. It is astonishing to me that the only time Iâve ever been this clear headed is when I was meditating daily for at least 20 minutes a day in my late teens/early twenties. Iâm starting to remember and realize how crucial it is and I need to start again with the daily meditations.
Glad it was helpful!
Yes, anything to get into meditative brain wave state. Repetitive endurance exercise does the same: running, cycling, swimming. I did this intuitively for finding my own mental peace and calming myself as an adolescent, I just gravitated to it. Swimming is lifelong health and fitness too, non-impact. You can also have small personal goals with it to refine your technique or whatever you value. It also resets your brain chemistry to positive mood, breaks down stress toxins in body.
This is the best advice thank you for being so straight forward and giving the reality check that we need to live the best life that we can, especially living for those that are no longer with us, rest in paradise
I just had to stop homeschooling because my adhd and her asd didn't play well. It was rough. Now I'm around picking up pieces this video actually hit what I needed. Started as I'm looking for how to clean my library room to how to fix my life. Time blocking is my only trick. I color code and block off my calendar so I can see its not that bad. Because I get overwhelmed at calendars and routines. I also use bullet journals because its relaxing and it visualizes my life as well as its rewarding to mark off the habit trackers.
This was a 'You only live once' speech. He is right
I have an infinitely looping timer on my phone called BlipBlip, depending on my settings, it goes off every 1-10 minutes. The alarm is very brief and quiet and i use it to initiate tasks. Normally if I am feeling extremely un motivated, I will set the timer to 1 minute and every cycle I will do the smallest amount of work toward completing the task so if I'm coding, the timer goes off, I open Visual Studio Code and stop there, it goes off again, and I check what I need to do etc
I'll be starting a web development job very soon, and my plan is to discuss any difficulties I face with my supervisors or colleagues at the end of every week or 2 so i can resolve an issue before it gets out of hand without annoying people who are busy.
I'll try meditation because my biggest frustrations are lack of common sense that can't be solved by planning as it is with short, spur-of-the-moment things so targeting my brain's physiology seems to be the only realistic solution for that.
Repeating many times numbers and titles really helped me get back in focus, even while multi-tasking and not looking at the screen, + big visual cues once i rapidly go back to watching for a sec :) also a good rythm... you're so good at this!!
Wow⊠thank you! For me being ok with myself and not feeling horrible because I have to work through these things has been a game changer.
Wonderful!
for me, i like to make the problems into steps. it makes the work less daunting and gives me very clear checkpoints to work through. sometimes i have to break it down to "take out paper, take out pencil, research number 1, answer number 1"it's incredibly difficult to visualize general task, so a guide really helps me
Same!! Pretty much the only way I find I can actually get things done and totally follow through!
Thank you! Today I asked in FB groups about more info on any connection between trauma and ADHD. Someone pointed me towards your website. So far I love it and it's the first I've ever heard the phrase Twice Exceptional. Which may describe me (I'm an adult). I applied to the waitlist for the Executive Coaching program you may run and am looking forward to watching more videos. I'll show this to others too. I've been designing something I hope is helpful to people with ADHD like it's helped me and am looking for more people to talk to about it.
So glad it was helpful!
You don't feel any sympathy or empathy for people who went their whole lives struggling with with ADHD and executive function, and finally diagnosed as an adult? I'm just starting this process at 31. Not as a child. I feel wronged in not getting the help I needed for my entire life, which made my life incredibly difficult. I'm not a "victim", but this is the truth. I can be kind to myself without being labeled a victim.
Like you, I went undiagnosed until late in life. And like you, I recognized how much I was struggling to live up to neurotypical expectations. And like you, I recognized that I had the responsibility of figuring out what worked and what didn't work for me. â€ïžâđ©č
It took years of struggling to get this far. Finding the right kind of help was worth the effort. Better late than never. Better to struggle and keep going than to give up, sit in one's own puddle of self-pity, and whine about one's lot in life. We are not the kind who shift blame with Cognitive Distortions. It is the adults who refuse to accept the reality that they are responsible for their outcome that "I have no patience for."
I commend thee for thy efforts and I admire thy persistence. Keep up the good work. âïžđ
Thanks for the great info, no sugar coating. I watched a couple of weeks ago your suggestion about using a dedicated timer, I bought one and itâs so effective that I sometimes even resist using it because I know I wonât be able to fool myself. I was diagnosed at 55, three months ago. Itâs been quite a ride, and Iâm loving every minute.
Glad it was helpful!
I use timers and alarms. Like an alarm to leave for work, leave for church, etc with enough room to hit the snooze once, but then "get it together Patty." And timers for tasks or for my break to get back to task.
@@pattyolson3842 I hated that point about using timers, then I remembered I use them⊠to a degree
Dude. Iâm glad I stuck it out with this video. The opening was turning me off. Starting with the old âI have no patience for adults with addâ sounded like it was going to be more of the same that Iâve heard and internalized for 45 years. I thought it was going to be âjust get off your a** and DO ITâ. This turned out to not be the case, but I almost turned it off.
Thank you! I find a visual list of of whatâs pop in my head to do list helps. Then I can prioritize whatâs the top ones I really need to do for the day. And remembering that itâs ok to say no to other people projects so I can get some of ours done
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for this info
I watched this because I feel I have undiagnosed Adhd/executive dysfunction. I was just nodding the whole time. All 12 rung true as management strategies I've used to get myself together. My husband just doesn't "get" the problems I have and thinks I just need to do the thing. When I brought up Adhd he doesn't think I have it because I can always do the thing when it comes to important stuff (work/school) but I struggle at home. It's like I have two versions of myself. The organized systematic on it workerbee, and the absolutely mess of repetitive unproductive cycles I have at home.
Thanks for this. It really affirmed for me that I should work on my frankenstrategy for managing my brain. Especially at home.
1st iâm so sorry for your loss. And, what an excellent use of grief kind Sir. Iâm 66 (diagnosed at 64) and so wish Iâd known you in middle school. I can testify re all 12.
And now, you are helping me support my âkidsâ & grandkids.
đđđ
Seth, thank you for this great list. I appreciate all the work you're doing. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Iâm not sure how to respond to your loss man but I pray youâre staying strong and that your work will continue to help others for years to come, itâs helped me. đđŒ
Thank You for a concise and clear overview. I am in complete shutdown mode. This gives me hope.
Thank you for this video, Seth. Itâs a great reminder to get back on the track!
Things that have worked for me:
12 step programs: underearners anonymous (learn about managing time) and debtors anonymous (learn to manage money). Absolute best things besides meditation and medication Iâve ever done to manage ADHD behaviors.
Thereâs a community of people (a lot w/ADHD) supporting one another with things like âbookendingâ tasks- (accountability buddies!)
Also, Marie Kondo for organization.
Flylady Daily routines for keeping house clean.
Getting Things Done for office work. All of these help me in keeping a clean orderly home and a âmind like waterâ.
I donât do it perfectly and I use them all in ways that work for me.
And last but not least, exercise that I like doing!
This is absolutely amazing! I am actually looking to start a non profit or possible have a pilot project funded on new and unique ways to look at things. I dont find the people I know (myself included) who have ADHD are at all close to the same cookie shape.
I enjoyed this. Thank you, Seth.
YOOOOOO. The Late fees are REAL for ADHD. I started calling it the ADHD tax. like the pink tax. It's the extra money we spend for buying or paying for things last minute. Parking tickets and various excise taxes or tolls for me get up there sometimes
đđœđđœđđœ This is incredibly helpful as I struggle so much with finances due to impulsivity and dyscalculia. I do have a tip: when I really need to get a task done, I have created a ritual to get my hyper focus turned on- I listen to ADHD focus music or binaural beats. I can crank through a 2 hour playlist and get so much done with those tools. It makes my NT friends jealous. Thank you again-
Video actually starts at 5:10
The first 4 minutes made me feel awful. People with ADHD usually already feel like they're failing. I hope the rest of the video makes up for that but dude, what a bummer. I woke up feeling motivated to look for ADHD strategies and that took the wind out of my sails.
Edit: nope. Halfway through and I'm not going to finish. Just feels like another lecture with vague advice. I'm gonna go back to How to ADHD.
Thank you. This is very helpful.
Thank you for your no bs approach I really do not want to be babied or feel like a victim
I am sorry for the loss of your former students. Heart breaking.
These seem like they will be very useful. Thank you
Appreciate this video,thank you Seth.
The video I knew I needed but fell in my lap
Thank you
Great video. Really appreciate the stuff about not being a victim. Recently diagnosed, age 41. Feel like Iâve wasted most of my life because I always thought I was just stupid, slow, tired... Now Iâm feeling like maybe I could go to college and do something extraordinary. Iâve got to stop telling myself that Iâm special and itâs okay to just take the easy road for the rest of my life. I know itâll be hard, but like you said, life is precious. I know I need to work with children. I feel strongly that because of my rough childhood, that constant feeling of hating myself, having no connections, thinking I was dumb, resentments with parents... that I could make a difference in a childâs life. I think itâs so important to encourage children.
Iâm curious about the timers. Iâve used the microwave timer with my son and it really dies work well. Iâve used it a couple times with me when I clean. Do you just have a little timer of sorts in each room so whatever task youâre doing can get accomplished?
Also, the planner. Iâve tried using my phone. It worked a little. I tried using a nice big fancy one. That worked well IF it was always open and in front of me and I took it everywhere. Any other suggestions?
I have that exact issue too! If my planner isnât open in front of me, I donât use it. Iâve used my phone calendar and tried a few different apps but havenât found anything with the structure Iâm looking for (or anything I can customize to my liking).
Franklin Planners are a life management system, based on Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People ". He has awesome series of "7 Habits" books...will transform your life. Also, the 1% Principle, something I did on my own, discovered internally as a child 40+ years ago, focus on doing one single thing better the next day. Process your day at the end of the day, review it, watch it like a movie, replay scenarios that didn't go well like a movie with you trying some different response to the events or circumstances, replay the movie watching yourself responding in healthier manner & toward shared positive benefit to everyone. Practice it in your mind several times & commit to doing it at least once the next day. This daily introspection, self reflection, analysis, reality testing, imagine your positive adaptation and visualize, practice; be fair and acknowledge where you could have done better, and resolve to do that the very next day. Go to sleep at peace with yourself.
I've had the same experience with planners. I run my own business so it's really critical to track tasks. All I can say is, respect your need for things to look and function a particular way and don't try to force yourself to fit a task and time management tool that doesn't "click" for you. Try using as many as you can until you find one that you naturally come back to. You'll know it when it happens and after you try enough of them, you'll notice a pattern of what does and doesn't work. For me it's Asana because it looks logical to me on the screen, I can choose 3 different ways of viewing my tasks and I can print a list to suit on my desk next to me while I work. Another tip that has made a huge difference is using one single sticky note each day with ONLY 3 things written on it. I look at Asana, decide what I need to focus on, then write 1-3 things on that sticky note and close Asana. Sometimes I put the sticky note on my computer screen to remind me what I'm focusing on and sometimes it sits on my car dash or wherever I am working/going. It really helps me not get sidetracked. I've also learned that, especially with ADHD, when you're mentally tired, that's it. Time to stop. It's really frustrating sometimes but I've had to get real about my expectations and how much I can truly accomplish in one day.
Great video. Thank you. I use routines, systems and automation to help me. The less things I need to think about how to do, the easier my day. I also used to-do lists but these have not been working so well for me recently. I guess Iâm bored of using them so I need a new system for this.
Thanks for sharing!
Could you give me example of automation?
@@kcweepy - I'm just guessing, but in my family's home my mom has ADHD & she relies on automation. For instance, using Alexa or Siri to add reminders, appointments and build a shopping list, using a robo-vacuum to help clean floors, having automatic sensors for locking doors/turning lights on & off, having a subscription service to deliver meds and pet food every other month, having an automated pet feeder so as not to neglect a furry loved one, using a self-cleaning litter box, using Grammarly & Word-tune to improve writing in texts/emails, using fridge camera to alert when food is about to spoil and to check what needs replenishing while out shopping, smart oven that can be scheduled to cook dinner while at work to be ready by the time you're home, zero gravity massage chair to lie in after work and a rejuvenation/invigoration mode for before hitting the gym, bidet with a remote for spray/dry after bathroom elimination, self-cleaning toilet, self-watering planters so your vegetable garden takes care of itself, etc. There's probably other ways to automate, but these are some ideas. Sadly, I'm too broke to implement a lot of these for myself lol, but it's nice when I'm staying over, feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders. #vacationatMom's
@@annanabil73 wow all that sounds so wonderful, so many great ideas!
This video is absolute money. THANK YOU! Following you now!
Thank you!
this video changed my life. 32 yrs old and i always thought i was stupid as i couldnt remember things (anxiety) and couldnt concentrate (adhd)
I was seriously afraid to watch this video after the intro, but glad I did - it was very helpful. Thank you. Iâm sorry for your losses.đ
You are so welcome!
Thank you. Morning pages helped me a lot. It worked like meditation in the mornings. However after having kids it became almost impossible to keep doing it. creating Visual homes is something I do and benefit from it but when anyone at home doesnât respect that, I get frustrated đ€Šđ»ââïž
This is very good. Thank you so much making this video, and posting.
Glad it was helpful!
Around 7:20 - you open your heart... and that's the thing - deal with it using what works for 'me'. Take the buffet and serve what works for 'me' Great! awesome talk and we should be in the right frame of mind to connect and absorb this! Good job buddy
Thank you!
I'm just watching through for the first time - thank you for this info. Struggling with #7 though with envisioning as I have aphantasia. Do you have any ideas for what I can do in lieu of mental imagery? Thank you.
I love the color of your wall. Great tips! Thank you for the information.
Thank you for making this video
My pleasure!
Thank you...great delivery!
Thanks for watching!
Amazing tipsâ thank you so much.
Glad it was helpful!
The Princples start at 5:11
Hey Seth,
This might be a common problem for other, I loose my planners. So instead of a physical planner I use a calendar app on my phone, I used to be late to things all the time. I had a ex girl friend that gave me a planner for a birthday gift because I was always late. I also keep physical to do list that I can throw out after they are done. nothing beats checking off a to do list. I struggle but I am getting better at time management.
I didn't seek treatment till 36 its helped a ton
Thanks for the great video
Franklin Planners are a life management system, based on Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People ". He has awesome series of "7 Habits" books...will transform your life. Also, the 1% Principle, something I did on my own, discovered internally as a child 40+ years ago, focus on doing one single thing better the next day. Process your day at the end of the day, review it, watch it like a movie, replay scenarios that didn't go well like a movie with you trying some different response to the events or circumstances, replay the movie watching yourself responding in healthier manner & toward shared positive benefit to everyone. Practice it in your mind several times & commit to doing it at least once the next day. This daily introspection, self reflection, analysis, reality testing, imagine your positive adaptation and visualize, practice; be fair and acknowledge where you could have done better, and resolve to do that the very next day. Go to sleep at peace with yourself.
@@annak29 good advice, thank you
Thank you so much!
Thanks for this! I appreciate you!
You are so welcome!
Thank you, Seth. Excellent. Cheers!!
My pleasure!
Thank you for going to the effort to make this video. I know you have gone through grief recently, along with other associated factors. I am sure you are trying to do your part to help others.
Surely most adults. Who are seeking adults who are seeking help realize what they are currently trying is not enough to reflect their goals. Most. I do understand a lot want sympathy, understaning, or an easy fix. Whew, I would like an easy fix as well. Being and being seen as a responsible adult is, I imagine, at least 3 times as hard even for a high functioning person.
I had to quit my job of 16 years in the middle of the pandemic, because I finally had to admit ( extra responibilitiezveach year ,the extra bc of pandemic)I could not do it all and do it well. I hate to Admit I can not do things. HATE it. Anyway, I and many with ADHD have been lectured all of our lives because the way we approach, or don't approach things makes no sense to others, takes longer, causes problems and annoyances, no matter how hard some of us try. I will skip past this, and see if there is some meat.
I have several coping /performance strategies in place. I am considering medication and going back into teaching, but that is a bit terrifying. Perhaps I will learn additional strategies to implement instead.
All these are So helpful! Thank you so much for your teaching! â€đ
You are so welcome!
My pleasure, they were fun to make
Thank you, dude!
Thank you đ
Have some times and places where we lean in to our ADHD. I have days where I'm tied to a clock, have appointments, have more strict obligations. But I also have days where I just unplug from that and let the ADHD be the boss. Enjoy life, play, âoh belongs in the other room!â And âoh, look a squirrel!â Masking stinks. Trying to pretend our brains are wired in a neurotypical fashion is exhausting and drains all creativity. Instead of âwhat do I need to do today?â have some âwhat do I want to do right now?â times.
I would add:
1) Be kind to yourself. Donât be discouraged by the ridicule from family members, teachers, or bosses, who say you just lack discipline. 2) Set boundaries. Demand time for yourself, free of distractions and demands. Itâs your life. Own it.
Everyone needs to just skip past the first 5 mins otherwise youâll drift off and miss out on the actual good advice in this video
I can't get over how much you look like Steven Root. (And that's a compliment because he's one of my favorite actors.)
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Welcome!
Thanks for this.
My pleasure!
Iâm so sorry for your losses! My mom has degrees in psychology and social work and knew I was ADHD from the time I was tiny and taught me to control my behavior. It wasnât until I started grief therapy two years ago and my therapist suggested medication for my ADHD (took about four sessions for me to get the courage to ask my NP) that I learned I had suffered needlessly for too long. Im grateful for help, but I feel like there were so many things I could have been more successful at life had I been treated. Itâs not worth being stuck in the past. Iâm thankful for channels like yours with awesome education and tips. I am also able to speak and advocate to hopefully help others.
Thank you, and so glad it was helpful.
I am a 55 yr old female I was diagnosed at 54, by the urging of my husband who has raging adhd. I have no idea how to work with this. I am not whining, I was grieving and then I was angry, very angry. On top of this I was sexually assaulted at the age of 8 to 10 by my step father. I get now why I did things the way I did. But I can't live in the chaos and I have absolutely no trust in people. Anxiety disorder, panic disorder. Verbal abuse as a child, and my father left the day I was born. How did I survive until my.moyher passed away and then my live went to shit. Knowing has inly.made.it worse. I don't know how to trust, how do you trust a therapist. How do you know they have your best interest at heart. I an in a constant state of chaos, fear and frozen to the point I want to no longer exist. I don't mean suicide I mean just putting myself in a catatonic state where nothing matters and no emotions are felt.
Thank you...
Thank you for your compassion, I found it very moving. Lots of good points, micro and macro ay?! Do you think the universe is adhd? It must have started fairly manageable and then spread out in ever expanding complexity. But as it expands it creates more time and more space⊠I feel as if I donât have enough time or space and I need to declutter.
The second half of the video was helpful.
Thank you
This was very helpful! Thank you!
I'm so glad!
Thank you for this valuable information! Would it be possible for you to share your time management system, since you said regular to do lists weren't sufficient? Is it just a matter of assigning a time frame to the task?
Check out my website at sethperler.com and search Time Management.
Thank you!
Much appreciated
This was great! Thanks
Glad you enjoyed it!
This was more of a motivational video then actual help
Yes and a lot of advice that will backfire and back us all feel worse about ourselves because OUR BRAINS ARENâT NEUROTYPICAL so we canât just think our way out of having a different brain chemistryâŠ
So sorry for your loss.