Wario Addresses His Nation Amidst Its Destruction
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- čas přidán 2. 02. 2024
- Upon the release of "The Wario Files", Wario broadcasts a critical message to the world both explaining himself and putting those concerned at ease...
(More Wario; • "Mario" Confesses His ...
• Wario Apologizes for t... ) - Zábava
"I am sitting on a pile of gold that I heinously stole from myself"
He’s history’s greatest monster!
If presidents and world leaders were honest.
I fucking wheezed
i digress
I would still rather have him than some of the twits we have now. Biden, Sunak...Wario is far more intelligent and creative.
Finally. A politician who isn't lying.
Reminds me of a certain mayor we had here in São Paulo, Brazil who some followers non ironically defended him with the motto: "He steals, but works!" or something like that, because he was caught stealing tax money, but he did make some huge useful urban projects (the guy was an engineer) to help car traffic, and also he did put ROTA NA RUA (police on the streets) which did drop crime rates. But, yeah, all the while stealing the people. Since he's rich of course he's free (i think he got on prison for some little time) and still trying to get reelected 🤣
Although i think wario not only stole his people but didnt work for the betterment of wario land.
He's not lying here but don't be fooled: Wario almost always lies about everything
*always lying
@@DPedroBoh This just shows how desperate we are for any actually good changes.
He's got my vote. A rotten bastard, but one you know exactly what he is or will be doing.
“In layman’s terms, I am sitting on a gigantic pile of gold that I personally stole from myself in possibly the most heinous display of high-level corporate embezzlement in history.”
Stunning and brave. Wario should honestly be pardoned.
@@lordsheogorath3377 By himself.
This video is so good
I digress
That is way too smart of a line for this
"It was unwise of you to accept employment from me."
- Wario, the _incredible, incredible_ ruler of Wario Land.
_Your predicament was avoidable, and I afford you no sympathy._
@@bootblacking *"But I do invite you all to remain to loyal to me if, for some reason, you so choose."*
Ultimate classic prime minister!
"You knew I was a snake when you picked me up"
@@djk1288
You are based.
Wario lied, people died...
Xj-9
Waluigi cried
I just want to let you know, your comment made me laugh really really hard. I haven't done so in a long time. Thank you
Awesome faced XJ-9, my beloved...
Wario did nothing but tell the truth.
The horrible, ugly truth.
This is exactly why I voted for Waluigi in the election
he would have won too if it werent for the toenail clippings scandal
@@isaacargesmith8217 Toegate is fake news! The only proof was a single photo that could have easily been photoshoped.
Wah
Waluigi is controlled opposition you fool. He was never going to win. In fact, he was paid to lose. This is all publicly available information if you would just read the Lakitu Commission's report.
You are what is wrong with this kingdom 😡😡😡
The funniest part about this is that Wario would actually do this. This is completely in character for him. The fact that this feels completely accurate to his character makes it so jarring in the best way possible
Yeah this video is a true work of art. It needs to be fleshed out into a whole story.
True
The funniest part is this is still pretty average for a politician
The funniest part about this was fart
That’s because it is Wario. Read the title.
"Don't blame me, i voted for Waluigi"
_"Nobody_ votes for Waluigi..."
-Waluigi, failed presidential candidate
His campaign was fraught with rampant and blatant cheating, ad hominem attacks on all other candidates, bought-vote conspiracies, Bot-vote conspiracies, and that scandal where he spit on then fistfought a quadriplegic baby firefighter with cancer.
God it would have been SUCH an improvement over Wario, Waluigi truly is #1
“Waluigi is a spy of the bowser kingdom!!!”
Those damned aliens!
Wait, what do you mean Wario isn’t an alien?
THEY CALL ME WALUIGI
Least evil politician
He was entirely truthful and honest and didn't tell one single lie this entire speech, that alone beats nearly every other politician.
@@legoboy7107 True
Bro, I'd vote for his reelection, I'd take an honest monster over a lying one 💀
Wario should become CEO of Enron
#Wario42024
Amazing how Wario says that his employees situation was avoidable as if he didn't force them into their jobs by worsening living conditions
Warioland had one of the world's highest GDPs (Gold-coin Domestic Product) and Standard of Living (albeit Wario's Castle alone was throwing the curve on that).
Womp Womp
Cope harder Liberal.
@@Multi-Fandom.RetardYou say liberal like you’re better than him, yet your house is in an identical state to his: rubble. You lost everything to this whole mess too. Is being a smug prick all you have left? Trying to cope with your dead kids the toads shot in front of you?
@@2yoyoyo1Unplugged how do you know if he was affected by the "Wario bombings?" You don't know if I was affected by it or not. Also you provided almost no argument but insults the nonexistent Wario attacks were honestly valid given what has been happening rn in the mushroom kingdom.
@@ThorStudiosBR7We gotta hear Wario's side of the story about why he "relocated" all those toads in response to the economic sanctions placed on Warioland by the Mushroom Kingdom because of his burgeoning garlic business (which may or may not have totally monopolized the industry) and the ... unpaid "workers" he "hired" to labor in his gold mines. The wario files (Containing most notably, the Wario flight logs) were a fabricated justification for invasion and regime change. Wario is the TRUE leader of Warioland and though he may be in exile, the soul of his nation burns brighter than ever, awaiting the day when the toads and their tyrannical kingdom are layed waste for their treacherous crimes against the great Wah and unrestricted laissez faire capitalism! The resistance is alive and well and they long to hear the guiding voice of their rotund despot once again!
Dear lord, this is some of the best wario writing I've ever heard.
You legitimately managed to turn wario into a ceo dictator while not breaking character at all.
"I've elected to run out of time for this" is genuinely one of the most "Wario" lines ive ever heard.
I especially love how Wario is just like "Yeah I'm gonna get up to my old bullshit again in about five minutes after this tape finishes. You can stick around if ya want, it'll be fun."
Hes a man I'd participate in a rigged election for and let bribe me into voting for him.
Well said
A man of absolute mischief.. My kind of man!
it’s not corruption if there’s complete transparency ;)
"I am not sorry and I will do it again."
Frankly based
"My passion for ill-gotten gains and mischief remains unchanged" is precisely what he would say if he tried to sound formal.
Any coincidence that this happened after Warioland rejected the US Dollar, instead opting to trade in oversized gold coin?
haha, gaddaffi moment
This comment killed me
ooof. Those who know about the ponzi of rothschild know. I'll take the oversized Gold these days, thanks.
The butcher of benghazi is way worse than Wario. I am very thankful she was not elected in 2016.
"I will take this opportunity to convey to them-a deeply personal message. why did you-a trust me?"
"You knew I was a snake before you took me in."
Say NO to war.
Say YES to WARIO.
🙏🏻
Make Wario, not Love
"I-a hav-a decided to start World Wario 3.
I-a would like to express my-a apologies for any whom this might inconvenience."
can i say yes to both?
@@gumbyshrimp2606 What if I want to make love to Wa-
I'm not finishing this statement
"I have elected to run out of time for this" is a crazy line
*Fun Fact:* Charles Martinet (the original voice of Wario, obviously) also voiced Senator Phillips in the English dub of the 90s JJBA OVA. The clip's on CZcams for anyone curious. His voice kinda falls between Wario and Luigi, and it's also the closest you'll get to officially hearing Wario swear.
Well, except that he does say "So ein Mist" in Mario Party, which is genuinely a German swear word (if a minor one)
@@klop4228pretty sure he says "doh i missed" idk why nintendo would put a german swear in there
@@strangedudee I thought so too, but it's been confirmed it's German. The voice actor's confirmed it, and if you listen with that in mind it's so much clearer
@@klop4228It's definitely "doh I missed" as much as you want it to be some secret thing.
@@bazzfromthebackground3696 Look it up, the voice actor at the time was Thomas Spindler, a German guy, and he said it was the case. If you speak German, it's really, really obvious when you listen for it.
Definitely not a secret thing, just poorly thought-out, given the rest of the characters all speak English.
its actually refreshing to hear a bad character be this honest that actually makes me respect him a LOT lmao
He's proud of who he is
@@momoapples That's why once "mario" restores "democracy" I propose that we write in Wario. With enough votes he may be permitted to debate. Obviously not in person likely over zoom.
If our esteemed leaders were this honest with us, i'd respect them more. Wario knows what he is, and he knows you know what he is, and he respects you enough to not pretend otherwise.
A statesman of our times.
Yeah it would be a miracle if real politicians were this honest.
Warioland will rise again!
Have a rotten day!
I can't call him dishonest.
He's spitting facts
He would be offended if you didn't!
He looks like senator armstrong if kojima was 5% sillier than he already is.
Princess Beach was in Death Stranding. We are almost there
I love how modest and yet accurate your given percentage is.
Metal Gear Rising wasn't Kojima's creative property, couldn't tell you who came up with Senator Armstrong though.
I was expecting an awe-inspiring speech to tell his people to not give up hope and to fight back but no-
Nope. Just a flawed man being honest about his inadequacies and corrupt character. All while making it clear, that he will never change.
@@zacklapaglia7644 I don't think Wario is flawed, he's just an amoral prick and totally aware of it and not interested in changing.
@hedgehog3180
Sounds like flaws to me.
@@almondjoy4938 A villain being evil is not a flaw that's just a villain being evil. A flaw is only a flaw if it conflicts with someone's self image, and in a fictional context something is only a flaw if it creates problems for the character or impedes their goals. Wario being a greedy asshole does not impede his goal of collecting as much money as he can, it's directly in line with it.
@@hedgehog3180 Where did you get the notion that flaws only has to do with self image or to hinder your own personal goals? From my understanding, flaws are negative character traits in general. Wario being a conniving, immoral scumbag that is, by his own admission, an adjectly immoral individual.
It's his greed and moral bankruptcy that directly lead to his country in ruin and his businesses liquidated. He might have been able to escape the blunt of his wrongdoings but he objectively lost pretty much everything else in the process-his position as Ruler of Wario Land, his businesses, and his image has been irrevocably damaged due to his own actions.
"I have investigated myself and decided I did nothing wrong." - Wario
I'll be honest it sounds like he had investigated himself, and he's done wrong, and he's just proud of it so he declares it openly, and how he will not change.
Beautifully made video. The blunt honesty of Wario's moral bankruptcy is almost wholesome.
I will unironically use this as inspiration for a villain in my story one day.
The unapologetically evil villains are always my favorite, they're bad and they enjoy every second of it so you love to hate them
1:50 is my favorite part of this. "Why would anyone work for me anyway? I've made it entirely clear that I am dishonest, extremely greedy and will cut any corners possible. This is entirely on you."
It's only made better by the fact that he follows up with "But if you still want to support me for some reason, then go ahead"
“Loud Farting Noise”
-Wario, King of kings, King of Sumer and Akkad, King of Assyria, King of Babylon, Glorious King of the Lands, King of the Four Corners of the World, Governor of the Great Gods, Provider of Esagila and Ezida, King of the Universe
"WAHAHAHAHA!"
I started laughing and got shocked. I am not allowed to laugh at this. The Cattleprod King hath spoken. F**king moo. 🦊
I then got shocked for saying I got shocked. I am not allowed to mention Shortburst. There is no Shortburst. I've never been subjected to shock therapy against my will and I am free and happy and anyone who says anything else is schizophrenic and stupid and misinformed probably by Chinese people or something. Nobody ever shocks anyone in America. Carry on, citizens. 🦊
I love how monotone and serious he is the whole time. He just wants to make it clear he is 100% not sorry and will resume his actions at first chance
"absurd wealth" is probably the best way to put Wario's life goals into a nutshell.
And yet despite his immense greed, I always feel like the emphasis is on the "absurd"
In wario world he is just quite literally surrounded in it.
Why df is this just so random but yet so masterfully crafted? This is 100% something wario would do. All thoughts and prayers to wario so that he may have the rottenest of days.
I’d say that your writing is gold, but Wario embezzled it all. Thank you for making my day more fun
I love that wario basically said "I've learned nothing and will do it again" truly a man who does what he believes.
That sounds like something he would really say to be honest.
I love stumbling onto batshit crazy shit like this, this is why I keep coming back to CZcams after all this time
This was the hidden greatest ending of Wario Land
No man has ever been this honest.
He is being extremely sincere
Wario Land citizens: But what about us?
Supreme Leader Grand Commander God Emperor King Wario: It was oil and garlic, wasn't meant to be. *Fart*
Imagine him giving his daily fireside chats and always ending it with "Have a rotten day."
I feel like something like this is broadcasted every time you lose a game of Tropico. And when you win.
You cant keep El Presidente down, no matter how much Penultimo screws up
'He tells it like it is!' - Wario party members on their choice of nomination.
Wario land shall never die. We're gonna win.
Bro your nation is already destroyed
Man I Remember the day this announcement was made public, shit was crazy. I remember there were huge riots at Wario Ware. Man's plan went off without a hitch though, what a legend...
"The next segment of my message is dedicated to Mario Mario, the director of the Mushroom Kingdom Defence Department. To him I say: *LOUD FART NOISE*"
Imagine serving in the Warioland 1st Garlic Division and hearing this over the radio while fireballs are being tossed over your barracks.
"Have a rotten day"
The Man Who sold the World starts playing
Man, the audio only post-credits revelations in the Metal Gear Solid games are getting more and more... rotten
A fellow soldier without borders. o7
The man who stole the Wario World.
I'd rather be a Warian than a Mushroom. The Mushroom Kingdom still refuses to recognise Dreamland as a legitimate state.
Based and wariopilled
And the public cheered for him anyway. Not because he was a good person-everybody knew he wasn't, even from before his term as President started-but because as a byproduct of his cunning schemes he accidentally reformed Wario Land's education system, reduced poverty rates by 90%, ended the recession, built new infrastructure, reorganized laws to make businesses more consumer friendly, fired corrupt politicians, made the country more appealing to tourism, increased minimum wage, opened new Universities, built two new high-end (and safe) nuclear powerplants, ended capital punishment, quelled the large criminal organizations and made cup noodles exempt from taxes (for some reason).
In the eyes of the people he was a hero. Unorthodox, yes, but a hero. There is a reason they renamed the country, after all.
I trust this man
He will make Warioland great again
He will build Warioland back better
Wario just needs another shot at running the country like a business, it will work the second time! Say what you will the state of Warioland, based solely on what I saw on Facebook I can assure you the Mushroom Kingdom is in worse shape. It’s suffering under a complete dictatorship under Peach, how do I know this? Uhhh the citizens of Mushroom Kingdom aren’t allowed to own Super Scopes and Labo guns like we are! Trust me Wario only wants to make Warioland great again. Sure, lately he's been saying how much he admires what a strong leader Bowser is because he doesn't tolerate dissent in his kingdom, and how Wario will be a dictator for a day if he's reelected. That just means more freedom somehow.
Build the wall...of GOLD!
@@protocetid wario is the person to implement anarco-capitalism and somehow make himself the richest person in the country and the owner of the majority of industry thus making it government owned yet still a private company, making it a dictatorship.
@@polybius-jy5rc Almost like without protections to prevent exactly that the powerful and ruthless will simply use the lack of protections to consolidate power 🤔
Truly this is a tragedy of the highest degree. The forces of the Mushroom Kingdom destroying our once great nation of WarioLand is truly the worst case scenario. But rest assured, I will continue to see to it that our great leader survives and even thrives. Perhaps someday, we can finally strike back against the Mushroom Kingdom, and WarioLand will reign supreme once more.
Vote for Wario is a vote for stability and strong Warioland. Don't you love your country? Remember how he saved the nation after greatest geopolitical disaster of our times, when Mario stole all of our treasury, that statue?
I vote for Wario because I like "stability" after bandit years which were the 90s. I don't vote for anyone else, because all politicians are crooks anyway
I expected a "Wario Dies" video involving voice clips ripped from games and nukes, I got some of the funniest Wario writing and voice acting imaginable
"Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice *I'm* willing to make."
Wario did nothing wrong
The downright audacity, articulation, and honesty has me in tears 😭
People talk about how brutally honest Wario is about his corruption, but on top of that, what really makes this is how earnest he is about it. Like he has 0 shame, nor explicit arrogance. He Doesn’t at all try to defend his inhumane actions, nor isn't he brash like "HA HA! Sucks to be you guys!" Even though he is completely aware that he is amoral, he is completely indifferent about it. Honestly feels like what a corrupt politician or plutocrat would really say if they were 100% honest too to maintain professionalism.
“It was unwise of you to accept employment from me as I am a well known gigantic fraud and overall objectively corrupt individual. Your predicament was avoidable and I afford you no sympathy.” Lmao he’s spitting straight facts.
Hail Wario!!
Now this is great. I love how it implies Wario Land and the Mushroom Kingdom are like rivaling countries with completely established governments and everything else.
"Thank you, and have a rotten day."
That sealed the deal.
"I have elected to run out of time for this"
This is a masterpiece of writing
His campaign is totally transparent. What you see is what you get folks.
Open up your eyes and look around
Then close them tight and kiss the ground
You better be thankful you're alive
And how much longer can you survive
Underneath the mask, there's something brewing
Underneath the ground, there's something moving
@@jaysefgames1155 Absolutely.
When reached for comment, Vice President Waluigi solemnly reponded to the news "Wah..." Back to you, Toad.
Wario World 3? No.
World Wario 3.
Wario, the most powerful and feared mafioso ever.
Lore of Wario Addresses His Nation Amidst Its Destruction momentum 100
6 million residents of WarioLand gone
I knew i should’ve never moved to wario land
It's the only country which stood against world marionist globalist government
"My passion for ill-gotten gains and mischief remains unchanged, and possibly even redoubled."
Finally, an honest politician. So brave. So inspiring.
Y'know what? I'll give him credit for it; he's not only completely 100% honest about knowing what he's done is wrong and that he's a horrible person, but he also blatantly admits he's going to do it all again at the first chance he's able to. That's the kind of honesty money literally can't buy.
Frankly if this is all he's doing he's preferable to every sitting world leader I can think of. I'm sure some Microstate like Lichtenstein has a better ruler, but a politician who's brutally honest and merely greedy would be preferable to what we've got.
The epitome of *"At least he's honest".*
But how is vice president waluigi
He's facing five thousand counts of accessory before and after the fact with a few hundred additional complicity/conspiracy charges for aiding and abetting President Wario. He is currently on suicide watch in the Mushroomax Prison on Yoshi's Island.
Wario, and his massive pile of 1,000,000 tons of gold are still missing
We lost many fine soldiers in the Battle of Wario Castle... too many.
gotta love that his own country is set for the path of destruction and is only a minor footnote in his grand speech. 3:08
We may have lost the Warioland, but we're winning the Warioworld. Right?
Right?
Wealth, fame, power, all that had been acheived by wariolands king Wario was hidden in the one peice.
When you really look at it, Wario is at least honest. The Mushroom Kingdom is repeatedly invaded and Peach doesn't do anything for it's defense, Dark Land (Bowser) regularly launches wars and then gets beaten back regularly, Crocodile Isle was completely destroyed thanks to K. Rool's own arrogance and incompetence so the Kremlings no longer have their own home beyond a mobile floating base, DK Isle has no industry and Kitchen Island is a pirate haven (not exactly a law and order place). Maybe the other safe alternative to Wario Land would be Sarasaland
*Wariogate* 💀
Wario flight logs
@@justreadjohn XD Pffffft
Wario was completely honest about being a greedy, self-centred, quite possibly evil ruler. This is somehow more than most politicians can manage.
"he tells it like it is, drain the swamp! Wario 2024"
Wow, the new WarioLand is a bit intense...
A geopolical game with Mario characters with the posibility of international/war crimes and cold war would be incredible though.
we need leadership like this in these trying times
#WARIO2024
Wario knows that weakness is provocation. Only trough strength will we have peace!
Absolute perfection. This is something I could legitimately see Nintendo doing if they could ever make a “mature” Wario game.
Pizza Tower basically took Wario's Gameplay and reimmortalized it and the Diamond City crew is now SOL from this announcement...
Oh the stories the Residents of Warioware Inc will tell...From Penny, Mona, Crygor and more...
I didn't think this video was so hilarious when I first watched it, but the more I listen the more I laugh, I've probably lsitened to this like 6 times in the past month and it's so hilarious LOL. Amazing, truly!
It was unwise of you to accept employment from me.
The Mushroom revolutionary were right
🎩
🍄
This sounds exactly like the way Strongbad would tell a story.
Trailer for Warioverse looks pretty lit.
All I’m saying is a man who’s smart enough to pull off a stunt like this must know a thing or two about how to run a country
theres so much top tear intellectual comedy in this but i cant imagine this bit without wario farting into the microphone at some point
They cut the footage, he ripped a big one at the end of the transmission.
WARIO MACHINES, SON!
"I'm well known to be a crook and you're and idiot for supporting me, but I hope you continue to support me" XD
CZcams was 100% correct in thinking that this is the content I want to see
if i ask. where is this from? this sounds like an awesome story.
my brain
@@ThorStudiosBR7 your braim?
my brian.@@Mentelgen-1337
We need a mushroom kingdom official response!
Notice how he didn't even address the allegations about the working conditions in his gold mines
Why would I give a crap about some Shy Guys. We don't even know if they have faces or not.
It was the best quality to make happy and loyal workers extracting as much gold as possible
"Have a rotten day!"
~ Wario