Today was A bad Mental Health Day. Getting Triggered and Spiraling
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- čas přidán 3. 05. 2024
- Join me while I talk about spiraling down into old feelings and thoughts patterns on worthlessness, being undeserving, feeling like an imposter, inferiority.... etc. I used to think I was alone in this, but I know I'm not. So, I'm posting for you to make you feel less alone too.
If you make it to the end, I have an uplifting message.
Hey everyone thanks for the love. PLEASE be respectful and kind when talking about my ex. I love him and he's not a bad person. Also, try to not shower me with too much love lol, it gets uncomfortable. Please rememember I make these videos public for anyone struggling with the same things or going through a super rough breakup etc. I know it seems like its about me, but its meant for people to relate to. So maybe write some words of wisdom or encourgament to anyone struggling the same way
😊🤗💖🙏🏋🦁🦬🌼🌴🌻
NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone from Andrew ,
CZcams Channel ,
haha shes so unbearably cute
You've been very candid in this video -- that is brave. You are secure in your self -- miles beyond the shames from your upbringing. Your ex's focus now on supposed "negatives" from the relationship is avoidance in his depressive mind -- it may take him time to get an honest grip -- so he's gaslighting you as a cheap defense. Keep the love -- buffered with pity. ♡♡
Science says it takes 6 months no contact to forget someone. This to shall pass. Montra got me threw rough times.
I'm sorry you're going through this but I think your ability to articulate how you're feeling and analyse the situation so clearly, is amazing.
There's so much wisdom and vulnerability in this video and I for one appreciate you having the courage , motivation, as well as putting in the hard work and time in recording it.
Ps, I'm sure you weren't the only woman at the bridal shower feeling insecure. Some people just hide it better than others.
Ridiculous social conventions! I was taught to be grateful for any gift I received
Right??
The best moment you'll have is when you recognize that he's toxic and are able to cut ties. Place boundaries do not allow that in your life
Myra, I have been following you for a while but never commented before. You strike me as a very honest and sensitive person, and I am impressed by the way you express your feelings and opinions. You are a diamond in the middle of so many fakeness on YT. Relationships are complicated by essence, and meeting the right person is not easy. You are an intelligent and beautiful woman, you are very young, just be patient, your time will come. 😊
Your never alone when you have all of us down here who cherish you and appreciate hearing from you very much ❤
Relationships shouldn't be work, forget this mess and I highly encourage no contact at this point
lol...Long-term relationships are a lot of work.
@@strangedays871 If they are that much work either you don't have the right person or It's your fault. Simple as
@@oongieboongie Life is hard. Long-term marriages go through peaks and valleys. There, perhaps, are a few exceptions, but that is not the norm.
Hearing you talk is like looking into a mirror, every thought you have I’ve had too! I have all the same problems! It’s kind of reassuring knowing that other people feel this way too🥺❤
The lesson i learned from having the same thing happen to me is only be with someone who will be as 'supportive" of you as you are with them
Depressive emotions during PMS should definitely be more talked about. You're completely on yhe money, its not random things that make you suddenly emotional, it'll be things that are already eating you that become front and center in your mind suddenly. It took my mom in her 40s to realize her depression worsened before her period when she, gratefully unsuccessfully, tried to take her life. Not blaming that on PMS btw just a contributing factor. It made me aware/mindful of my emotions where I'd feel the negative emotions that normally I feel I could control just began to feel like too much. Now i check my flow app to confirm, yep, bout to start to try and reel myself in.
Your ex is definitely not happier without you, he sounds bitter and clearly hasnt moved on. I hope you get the strength to block him, he sees your light without him and wants to dim your spirit to his level. Sorry he's putting you through that.
Youre super brave for sharing your life in sincere and vulnerable way. I feel the same when im with a group of women, that i wasnt properly socialized into feminine society. Tomboy as a kid. Brothers. My friends are pretty much guys. It feels awkward feeling like an imposter with a group youd expect an innate bond with. That anxiety with the gifts, i definitely feel your pain 😩 I had something similar at work during a christmas party where people grab a gift and fight to keep it. Theres a name for that but i forget. I got a gift card but people had brought in wine, fun novelty and really cool stuff and i was just embarrassed. I participated tho! And so did you! You showed up for your friend and thats amazing and should be the thing that matters 😊
Sorry for the novel but i did resonate, thanks for sharing
Aww I loved reading this. Your words and thoughts really connected with me. We sound similar. Thank you so much 🙏
@myrawest I'm glad! Been following your channel for the longest and honestly your videos have helped me in my own personal life. Can't wait to see your journey leads ❤️
The lesson you've learned from this - you are 100% right!
Don't be surprised that most people run from pain. If you think of the physical analogy, no one leaves their hand on the hot stove to understand the pain, they jerk it away as soon as possible and run away to heal.
You've just pointed out a lot of the bs and fakery of outdated conventions and the shallow/unconscious people who follow them. Also it's sad that us highly sensitive people seem to attract a lot of these narcissistic abusive types. You will one day look back and be appalled that you put up with such nonsense for so long.
Btw your gift sounded much more interesting than houseware and I would have been much happier to receive that than some bowls or towels. It sounds like you haven't really found your people yet. I'm 31 and still haven't found my people, but your story reminds me of so many of my own experiences with "friends" over the years.
And sorry but that man needs to do some healing and growing. That kind of ego trip is not ok. You dodged a bullet! Your level of maturity compared to what you've described about him indicates he's not on your level at all. *Sending you hugs*
Today is a rollercoaster day for me and i'm now trying to holding back my tears, then i remember your videos and hoping it reminds me that i have 'friend' or people that would truly understand if this story and feelings are told. Just it. I love u all and hoping good things always around us. Im so sad and, but, this is one of the only thing i can do to at least comforted me and calmed me down for a moment 🌫️
I'm so sorry to hear it's been one of those days. You're 100% right, there are people who love you and care about you and some of them you havent even met yet.... I'm glad you feel safety and community here ♡🙏
I'm a big believer in crying and how good it is for you. So if you can get to a safe place, just let it out.
I like hearing your videos. They're nice. Thank you and I hope your heart heals from the emotional pain
You are incredibly self-aware, sensitive, and authentic. I’m so sorry you were feeling this way in the video. I love that you can tell yourself that things will be okay. You are a beautiful person and you will find people who will see that and be able to connect with you. Anyone that is able to see this side of you is lucky to have you in their life. You’re on a journey of self-love and these videos are so helpful to so many viewers who may be feeling the same way.
Thank you so much 😭😭❤️🙏
Myra, I like that you post being real. It doesn’t have to be positive. The realness is what makes your videos so interesting to watch! I won’t comment on your ex, because what do I know about him. But there should be a mutual giving of each other and respect of and for each other. It sounds like you’ve learned this and many other lessons from this relationship. Keep up your journey of self growth. Post both the good and the bad. It really is what makes your channel special. God bless you!
Some guys are afraid of commitment and failing at relationships so they will self sabotage and then project all their negativity on to their SO. Deliberately trying to make someone feel like crap comes from insecurity a lot lf the time. It sucks but there's nothing you can do for the other person and at the end of the day it's best to look after yourself and simply cut ties
This is pretty accurate.
You deserve happiness Mrya
I see you're a mature, responsible adult in that you appear to be capable of being friends and being on good terms with your Ex.
But it's clear that your Ex hasn't moved on. Why else would he keep messaging you? If his hobbies were so fulfilling, he'd be getting his gratification from doing them instead of from messaging you and bringing you down. Moreover, he's clearly not mature enough to sustain any kind of healthy relationship post break-up. You 100% need to break all ties with him, block him on everything, and don't give him the time of day. That's the only path forward and will help both of you move on.
he was only in for sex
Hearing from you has made myself feel seen and understood.
Life can be very isolating but your videod help remind me that we're not alone.
Breakups are tough and I wish you the best in navigating your feelings until you're in a better place!
Also 24:07 100% I totally agree with that. Many people are going to go through life avoiding any discomfort, pain, vulnerability. They may use distractions or even hurt others but will never have a good relationship with themselves. And some people are going to get triggered by your authenticity because they are denying their own authentic selves. They feel shame and discomfort as a result and express it in different ways, and self-reflection is not one of them unfortunately.
Edit: To add, yes, it's the internet, you're going to get crappy and insecure people who are going to project their shame and insecurities in the comments. If they really don't care they can just not watch you anymore and move on to another video😅. Then again, I am one of the viewers who benefit from watching you and I relate so much. Keep doing what you're doing.
I recently went through a break up where I found my ex having a whole other relationship with a woman on his secret facebook page. Prior to that, I too felt like I was over giving trying to figure out why he was dissapearing and acting like I was bothersome. Anyway, I gained my power back and tapped into my dark feminine energy and blocked his energy from my life. I feel that is something you should do as well.
Also, being a giver I have learned puts you into the role of being his mother. And most men hate the idea of dating that type of woman so be selfish with your energy always. Give to them only if it is deserving. Never feel bad about because overall your treating one how they are treating you. If I was your bestie I would in fact make you delete and block his number. Youre a beautiful woman and there are plenty of other men to see about dating. ❤
Thank you for shareing! I appreciate everything said, and dont feel that you need to apologize. This is the most real thing I've seen on CZcams in a while.
Watched the whole video and what you need most is a hug.
I can’t tell you how there would be days for me where it felt like the whole world was crashing. You feel like garbage, feel worthless, and feel like nothing. The stress and anxiety is potent as hell. It’s a dreaded feeling and something one shouldn’t have it envelope them.
It just takes one step at a time to get to some form of comfortableness. I do hope things get better for you. Been following your channel for years and you’re not alone.
We appreciate you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Myra. Seeing your videos the last 4 years have helped me in my own life. I have complete confidence that you have better days ahead. I was looking at the comments and I love the one that suggests not engaging in social media, not engaging with your ex. Focus on joy, your own photography, your painting, which I love seeing on Instagram. Also build up your positive energy though things such as great music. I remember an earlier video where you suggested that we need to have a positive ending with all of our ex's. You helped me be more positive in my own life. I struggle in all these social situations; I feel like everyone knows what to do except me. The Bridal shower hits really hard for me. I never seem to know what to do in those settings and everyone else knows exactly what to do. I am very sorry that you are enduring this trauma right now. Finally, the Heath Ledger line in the 1999 movie "10 Things I Hate About You" He said "Don;t let anyone tell you that you don't deserve what you want". I love the message at the 25-minute mark.
Here, ladies and gentlemen, the perfect case-study for a breakup.
Myra is so easy to help because she is smart and articulated.
Here are some notes for those that feel related (that will save you thousands in therapy).
1. Cycle awareness: This is fantastic. Myra knows that her emotions are facilitated or obstructed by biological cycles and balance that out when assessing the outcome.
2. Circumstances: Myra identifies a series of situations that awakens a deeper emotion and identifies them correctly as “triggers” instead of blaming them.
3. Liability: Myra refuses to reduce the situation to a “blame game” and focus on the emotions, being brutally honest about them, which already portraits a very healthy mind.
Each one of these three treats of maturity are necessary before any introspection can be of use.
For people in similar situations:
You might want to recognize a common pattern in the world of relationships: Two humans in need of connection approach each other: “Hey, why don’t you take my company and I take yours? Deal!” The problem with that common approach is precisely that it’s a “deal”, it’s not love. Two human beings that believe they lack of something, can’t share it, because none has it.
The lack of awareness of this fact send people down a road of many relationships, and as these “deals” fall apart after a couple of months (or decades), they grow bitter thinking that bitterness is wisdom.
THERE’S NO “THE RIGHT ONE”.
Homework: Considering for the sake of argument that the last statement is true, write down what would you consider a solution for the quest of connection.
For Myra only:
How do you feel when you have to “sacrifice”?
How it makes you feel when somebody “sacrifices” for you?
This is so cool! What the heck.
Another thing that this reminded me of when you said there is no "the right one."
I feel that a successful relationship just depends on two people willing to put in the work, on themselves and the relationship.
You can be a perfectly good and loveable person with so many good qualities (as my ex was), and you can love each other, but if you're not self aware and understand do not understand your triggers, how things are making you feel and why, understanding how your insecurities are impacting your actions and reactions, and feelings of helplessness or fears of inadequacy making you blame your partner for things that are not their fault..... then, a relationship just isn't possible.......
To me, self awareness is the key. And learning how to self soothe and calm your own emotions. And taking the time to understand them intellectually, before going to your partner..
"Growing bitter and thinking that bitterness is wisdom"
PREACH!!!!
I have had those days too alot of the times as a guy, you just put it into words. So emotionally intelligent and reflective. You are always worthy, even if your surroundings doesn't reflect it.
Thank you Myra for sharing this, I can 100% relate to everything you said about PMS a week before your cycle and how emotions can feel 100 times worse! And im sorry to hear about whats happening with your ex, especially having all that ontop of what you are going through all ready. I would recommend blocking him as it dosnt seem like he wants to be civil... he wants to get a reaction from you. I dont think you should give him your energy and look after yourself right now ❤❤
P.s please dont let the hater comments put you off sharing how you feel. The positive comments out weigh the negative ones! Your followers follow your channel for a reason and we are hear to losten and support you no matter what and your videos help others too 😊 ❤
Thank you so much for this ❤🙏 its super encouraging. And youre right, there are far more positive messages. I need to focus on that. This is a good reminder. Thank you for being here ❤
Hi, Myra. I believe we share a same aspect of handling certain moments that struck us and as us being to ourselves. We acknowledge and conditioned a certain way to battle with our happenings that occurs. I love sharing a dialogue with you and our point of views on different levels. Maybe we can talk soon. I am always here to listen to you and mark your heart with a smile. Can't wait to hear from you. Thanks Myra 💓💪🏻
How possible can it be for us to communicate, Myra my penpal friend?.. 🙂💓
Going through a breakup after 3 years with a guy and feeling the same emotions as you. It's so painful to have everything I poured into and sacrificed for him completely disregarded and told I was horrible to be with and his life is so much better without me, many of the same words your ex is using. Like you it's brought me back to feeling like I did as a teeanger, when you said speck of dust my heart broke for you because I completely relate. I have only ever been to one wedding also and google everything on social etiquette try my hardest but never found a group of girl friends and I'm mid 30's. I would suggest you block your ex as he is saying these things as he knows they will bring you down. You will find someone who will appreciate the effort and time and love you put into them, you don't need someone who makes you feel like it's a honour for you just to be in their company.
❤Hey Myra I appreciate your videos soooo much!
Never saw a person full of life proved wisdom at that very young age! Talking about all vids i mananaged to watch so far. Please go on forever cause you are the most precious influence on so many struggling people!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much :') this means a lot
You’re amazing Myra❤❤❤! We had my sisters graduation 👩🎓 this weekend, watching you helped me A LOT!!!!❤❤❤
I'm in the same boat as you currently. thank you for sharing your thoughts and being vulnerable. hang in there girlie🤍
❤️🙏
I relate so much to the bridal shower story. I've never felt at home or comfortable around women especially groups. "Girls night" is my worst nightmare.
Thanks for sharing, a lot to unpack, rollercoaster of events💩. Enjoy your painting time! Turn off social media, blast out some music, eat your favourite food & watch some comedy, let the storm pass. Jim
I love this. Very uplifting comment. Thank you ♡🙏
@@myrawest i hope things get better for you we have good days and bad days thing could be worse.
@@myrawest Glad to help😊thank you♡🙏
Thank you so much for being honest and vulnerable. I had the same exact experience in a bridal shower only i was a maid of honor. It was awful. Me and you could seriously be beat friends! Thanks again girl.
That honestly sounds terrifying!!
Hey Myra, I love your videos. I’ve always tried to learn as much as I can about life and every time I watch one of your videos I learn something new. I liked hearing about your views on pain and suffering. It’s something that I have been thinking about lately as well.
dont worry about wedding gifts, the last 3 weddings ive been to, 2 of the couples got divorced within 1 or 2 years
Haha. This couple is absolutely perfect for each other. Both angels and already happily together for 6 years. So I am not expecting that
I go about my life, feeling pathetic and unwanted, down on myself from time to time, but I do not believe I am chronically depressed. How is that a thing? I feel like I do relate. I feel like you could be talking about a number of situations I have been in myself. I do feel like I'm not so alone, so different, so much questioning why things don't work out when I watch something like this video.
When talking about going to the boyfriend all of the time, it made me think of how often I've been visited where I live, almost never. I've gone to visit others. I got invited a lot to go to other people's places, but they almost never wanted to come visit me. It was strange when i realized that. It's not that people don't want me around. It's not that I'm so terrible a person to hang out with. But something is definitely off if when I invite others over, they don't want to come, but they want me to come to them. Something is off. I think something is terribly unbalanced whenever one side is doing more of anything in a relationship. It's not quite the same thing as "just try to understand what the other person is giving" or "people just have their own love language" though both are good to understand as well, there is a point when you do know you are giving way more than you are getting, and maybe this is something that happens when the relationship is over--it does for me anyway, something like post relationship clarity! I counted letters one time. How many I sent her vs. how many she sent me, because she gave them all back to me after it was over. I sent 7 letters for every one she sent! I didn't feel like she really liked me. But she felt way too hurt after I decided to break it off. I didn't quite make sense. I felt like I was pouring my heart out to her the entire time. Different love languages, sure! But it didn't feel right. I'm not saying it needs to feel equal, but it should feel balanced. There's a difference there that I know is real, but not quite sure how to better say it. I think something like when I spend time with her or them or whoever, it should feel like I want to spend time with them, not I have to spend time with them, or that I'm only doing it because they did something and I have to do something... I don't know if that makes it more clear or more confusing.
The bridal shower! I was invited to a reception, well, to many, but this one was kind of a bit more like what you described. I only knew the bride (for a few years, not my whole life, but still longer than probably anyone else there) and it was at a restaurant, a nice enough one where there was nothing on the menu under $50. I was not seated anywhere near the bride, but that wasn't what bothered me. It was that I didn't know anyone at all, and I didn't feel like spending time with them or eating or having to spend that kind of money on food that I would probably not like. I got up and went to the bathroom, and decided I was going to just take off. The entire time you were talking about the bridal shower, I just felt like I would have left several times. It is supposed to be about the bride! absolutely, but when I feel like anything I do is only going to make the entire thing worse, anything I say will only be remembered as "why is this person even here? they're ruining everything" Maybe that's me talking entirely too much about my own experience, either real or imagined all too much in my head.
Well, I for one, am glad you shared. It does help me see things from a different perspective. It helps me see that others have experiences that feel all too much like my own, even if they aren't the same at all. Thank you. I appreciate you. And hope you find more value and meaning in all the things little and big that happen to you.
You are so reflected, it is very much inspiring❤
Hey Myra, there are two sentences I learned that help me a lot in this kind of situations. First one is "I decide who has the ability and power to annoy me.". The second one is "When someone has a problem with me, it`s his problem and not mine." Keep your head up ;-)
I used to have a young woman as a coworker. So that I could prepare myself for her moods I figured out from her comments what time of month her cycles occurred. But what I soon figured out was that it didn't matter, she was just a difficult person.
i do feel your pain and frustration of not being accepted by the group. i just have to get out of the house because isolating myself adds to the anxiety and the feeling of worthlessness. usually for me, it's either getting a cup of coffee, playing pickleball with a group, or going to the gym helps. just don't isolate yourself.
Thanks for posting, Myra.
I can relate fully.
I feel exactly what you feel.
Thank you for being open and honest. This channel is also your digital diary. So in a few decades you will be grateful to have this evidence and documentation of your life.
And it takes you a lot of courage to show us your true state of mind. My opinion:
You did nothing wrong.
You couldn't know beforehand.
There are lots of good men out there who'd be more than happy to spend all their time with you. You more than deserve it and that's what I'm wishing for. 🍀 🙏 😘 🙋🏻♂️
First you are so beautifull in this video. Those flowers in the background...and your sweater ... very "boheme". The key of all the video is in the 10 first seconds: "blue sky" ... wont last. Your mind (thoughts, feeling , emotions ...) Its just like that. Sometimes its "blue sky", other times is cloudy. DETACHMENT. If you can "see" those feelings, it means you are not those. Anyway, sometimes when you speak, it sound like me .
Patience Myra. The best relationships happen at a moments notice. Two identical souls meet in a sea of people. Cheer up you'll meet. Rushing Always leads to wrong choices.
So what if women are moody & hormonal? Our bodies are literally trying to make humans every month!! It would be foolish for people to look down on us for something we’re literally biologically designed to do.
True, there should be no shame around it. As you said perfectly, it's natural and part of an amazing process only we women are capable of. In my background/childhood, the men in my life heavily shamed me and women in general for this. So I have lasting affects of that.
Also, men are actually extremely hormonal too.... with testosterone constantly rising and falling each day
I had a big breakup when I was your age. I made such a fool of myself. Eventually I realised that I didn't own my partner, she was her own person. From then, every relationship I treat as I am happy if she wants to be with me but, if she decides to to leave at any time I'm fine with that also. You can still love, but be happy in your own company and you will appear to be a lot less dependant, and happy, which is really what makes you attractive to other people. Don't be too quick to share your thoughts with close people you will see often, as they may throw that back at you, and your ideas may have changed, but old thoughts you tell other people can haunt how people see you in the future.
I feel like you and I have the same personalities. Very reflective, self-conscious, etc, but I’ve learned to find my happiness outside of people. Doing hobbies I enjoy and not relying on anyone, but God as the source of my happiness.
Myra, you’ve handled the dating aspect very well. There are incompatibilities present which are producing toxic effects for both of you. Stay firm, don’t be moved by his responses. You ended it amicably. You’re giving him the time and space to disrespect you - he is blaming you and emotionally upsetting you now that you’re not even dating anymore. Don’t invest any more time, energy or thought into his manipulations. He might be 12:20 a narcissist and it’s just important to not allow him to further allow him to emotionally entangle you.
It would never have worked out if you got married, keep moving forward.
The wedding incident was caused because you have been distracted with this ex who should not have anymore time. You spoiled him. It’s a good lesson to learn to strengthen yourself and time to focus on your relationships with women and fostering your friendships because these are necessary for your future.
Use this lesson to realize what needs to grow and what needs to get cut off. It’s a shame he cannot be a part of your life and that’s not your fault. It’s his for not behaving like someone who loves and cares about you. Best wishes!
ok as a guy, if im only seeing someone Im dating twice a week, AND Im thinking its too demanding and 5 days isnt time to hang out with my friends...id say he was wanting to keep himself open for someone else possibly..
No. And It bothers me when people make assumptions.
He was very loyal and trustworthy. And he loved me.
The problem was, among other things, he had major depression and other mental health struggles that often kept him from going out or doing things. He put a lot of pressure on himself to be good to me in many ways and just ended up burning himself out. He blames me for the affects of his depression and for the pressure he put on himself. He's not a bad person. Just didn't have the capacity for a relationship
@@myrawest Great reply here Myral ♡
I definitely fit the criteria of the people you make videos for. I've had many social issues, anxiety, etc. So I can heavily relate to many of the things you talk about, and appreciate your videos. You also give the female insight I don't think of. I've had very few female friends in my life, and limited female family members I interact with. So while you might not feel like the most stereotypical super feminine woman, don't feel like that's a bad thing, plenty of us prefer that anyway. I hope the rest of your week goes well.
I’m only partway through your vid but I had to pause to tell you how much I can relate to you when you spoke about how you felt at the bridal shower. I’ve had that experience (including at my best friend’s bachelorette party/wedding weekend) so many times in my life, and it’s excruciatingly anxiety-inducing every time. I’m good one-on-one, but in groups I feel intensely lonely. I wish I could’ve magically transported myself there because I would’ve gravitated towards you and we would be able to survive that situation together. Thank you for your vulnerable share.
Awww thank you for this! It means a lot! I didn't know this was as common as it is! I have the bachellorette weekend coming up and I'm nervous!!
@@myrawestYou’re definitely not alone in feeling like that! Years later I was able to admit to my best friend how I felt during that weekend (I had to go into the corner of a bar one time and fight back tears, just to then go back out to the other girls with a big smile on my face) and she had no idea! I guess my social masking fooled everyone. She said people thought I was very sweet and nice to be around, and I was like , haha if only they knew how much I was dying inside. Felt like such an alien and freak because I had no idea how to “have fun” or talk with the other girls. And it was also painful for many years after that having self-doubt, like, is she bored being around me because all her other friends seem so much more fun? Ahhh. I had to really work on that self-worth thing. So I’m sending you solidarity for the bachelorette party and wedding and hope you feel less alone knowing that there are others like me out here, and that I have faith in you.
I like that you share your ideas and findings about life in each video. The most wonderful for me is about dating apps. I had them, I hate them, but it's you who explained me why they are almost useless way to find somebody worth.
You were not expecting anything out of the ordinary from him. This was the natural ending. You will find someone else and you will have learned from this.
Sending hugs❤
You suffered several losses lately. It's not only the loss of this partner that makes you sad. It's also still the loss of your dad. And the home you grew up in is no longer there for you. No longer accessible. There is no turning back. Time flies. The future is uncertain. You don't know what it brings.
I share this solitude and these melancolic feelings with you. I'm with you, Myra. And somehow I feel you're also a little bit with me. That is the great blessing of your channel.
You have to be strong, don't show any weakness. You got to be tough.
I remember being worried with you on a youtube live when a wildfire and lots of smoke caused you stress. Then you went to travel around the USA. Anyway, many things happened and we are here with you. As that fire and stress passed, anything that stress you will pass too. And we are here with you on good and the other moments you share. Cheers from brazil
I understand how you feel with the gifts and being around the ladies. I always go against the grain with gift giving. I usually give hand made gifts such as crochet blankets shawls or purses. I also give self care items like lotions and nail polish at baby showers for the soon to be mom. Ive seen the odd looks and heard "I never would have thought of that" I know it feels yucky but I still do not want to be exactly like everyone else. Make your own gift rules 😁
I've been in relationships with some with NPD, liars and manipulative behavior. Attracting these type of people are personally due to childhood conditioning and low self esteem. Never give 110% in the early stages of a relationship (under 2 years) unless they are sick and dying. In fact, it should be equal in general.
I'm sorry you had to go through this, I can totally understand your feelings, made me tear up. I'll be respectful and hope that your ex is able to find himself in his misery. Like you said, this might be one of your bad days but it doesn't have to be every day. I know you are strong and I wish you a great day ahead!
You're right, there's nothing to be done at this stage and I don't believe you will achieve the amicable ending you desire so I think it's best if you block him and try to move on.
They say time heals all wounds. Try not to think you have to resolve everything that is bad now. A time will come when you be in each others space and he will be fine with it. He is just angry that he has lost you, and he cannot resolve whatever mistakes he made to lead to the breakup. You can't control how breakups go, just stay away from each other, it's the kindest thing. You may see eventually that the lifestyle we are forced to live, due to work, is not designed to allow time for each other. Relationships, organising time between two people is a compromise, just bacause it becomes too difficult doesn't mean you are a bad or unworthy person. Most other people will be feeling anxious about themselves also, just relax and go with it and let the cards lay where they fall, and you will be a lot more relaxed and your true self will be allowed to show.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes
I suspect his behavior may be from his past environment, and he may be hiding from some pain in his past that he doesn't have an answer for. I wish you both come to understanding at some point and make peace somewhere down the road. Boundaries are of both understanding, and of division, and drawing a line can lead to a clashing on several levels. Sacrifice and Agreement have to comply towards the art of balance... Often a daunting task!
As for your "cycle" (also called "mooning" in native cultures), is a magical and spiritual power of being a woman. It's a great time to reflect within your inner voice, and relieve (set free) your bottled emotions. Mooning is a time of being internally reborn and renewed, and can be viewed as a cleansing both physically and spiritually, even if it hurts a little (little... 😭). Treat yourself as a renewed person, and treat yourself in general! You deserve to treat yourself, as you can't always find someone else to treat you for you.
We introverts tend to worry too much about the whole "gifting" culture, and anxiety seems to be a major part of it for us. If you find yourself having to worry about image to a certain crowd, remember that it's "their" culture that they choose. You don't have to "follow" just to "fit in". Be yourself! If they favor you as an equal, then that's great, and if they don't, then you know who they are, and go about being you. Don't take these things personal, and simply be yourself.
Anyway, smile towards your renewed and cleansed future, and may you always have a happy moon! 🌜❤
Oh i had no idea how these gifts work..thank you for sharing
I have feelings with my mental health as well. Sending positivity Myra. ❤
You liked him more then he liked you. I don’t think he like you enough if he wasn’t driving to you, planning dates, & wanting to spend quality time with you.
Leaving that relationship was best! Wish you speedy healing ❤️🩹
I know it can sound like that, but I fully believe we loved each otber equally. The problems were in other areas, maturity, ideas of what a relationship should look like, compatibility, self awareness, ability to resolve and repair conflict.....
Some people don’t know how to love properly,it’s not your fault.you are wonderful
Some guy in the State of Rhode Island-I came upon you when you posted the-"I have no friends" video-& I've seen many of your posts since-I'm impressed with your honesty-& none of it is anything that-everyone hasn't-&/or won't go through-which is why--you-are-helping many who have-or will see these posts-& btw-among other thoughts-I would also assert that-a better fit for you is out there-he just wasn't it-you're bright, deep-& articulate-Peace Bro! 😇
Omg I relate to this, so so bad. I spiral very fast and depressed
One day at a time , you got this 🙏🌹🙏
I appreciate you, sister. 💖
It never made sense to me that during a breakup, so many people go from loving a person, to full on hatred. So jarring and depressing.
It is. But indifference would be worse. You know what they say about the opposite of love...
This is because they confuse passion with love.
Just want to say that the gift you got was totally fine in my eyes, maybe not perfect for the occasion, but people understand that not everybody is perfect. It's okay to mess up. I know anxiety makes us think of the worst, but I don't see how they'd think of it as an awful thing. You showed up and you got something. Sometimes we end up putting others on a pedestal and assuming that we have to show up as perfect or else we're gonna get rejected or thought of as less or whatever...
Edit: think of it this way, if you were the bride and someone got you something not exactly as what's expected? How would you think of it or deal with it?
On a serious note, I truly appreciate you for sharing this especially your 2nd story. I have been in many situations in my own life where I have felt that I don't belong. You are right it does feel really hurtful. I hope you do whatever it takes to heal yourself even if you need a break from Socials go for it. Keep rollerblading and continue to be an inspiration for me and others 🤍
25:23 - I believe, it is not possible to avoid giving something important that you would regret if the relationship ends. Because it means not giving at all, which will make a relationship impossible and cold and with a huge distance betwixt two people. But what is possible is to give small important something at first, then a bit bigger something next as far as trust is growing. And only you can decide which is more or less important that you can give. The end of the relationship, however, always is the regret about given, so it can be only minimized, not avoided.
Thank you, the reason i watch you is because you are so open, vulnerable. If people don't like that part, then there are millions other channels they can watch. It is funny, their double standard. They criticise you for sharing ''unnecessary to public'', but themselves sharing unnecessary comments, basically trash comments. I don't think that you only allow sex to partner when you don't want to have sex, i think main part is that you are afraid that he won't love you if you don't have sex. Also it is harder to males to be vulnerable, share emotions with female partners, because they have been attacked in childhood when they shared emotions.
Relationships can become toxic when feelings are hurt this way. I think the best thing is to do no contact. Its the only way you are both going to heal.
We subscribers will never be 'done' with you, Myra. On the contrary, we could never get enough of you. This video is raw, honest, pure life. It's typically Myra and deserves to go viral!
you're my favorite person on youtube. You post for people like me. Ignore the haters
I feel like you and I are on some sort of wavelength because whenever I'm having one of my really bad days you upload that you are too, same with your good days.
For me, I've been in grad school since Sept. and I work and I've been doing really well until the past couple weeks. Since my school is on a quarterly system, we have 10 weeks of class and 2 weeks of break, and that's finally starting to take it's toll. I just gave everything mentally last week to a midterm paper for one class, a midterm exam for my other class, and now I have another project due again this week and its like I just don't have it in me anymore. I think the last straw was the school emailed me about it being time for my 1st internship placement next quarter which is at the end of next month, and I just started crying. I felt like a total failure cause I just don't know if I can do much more. But listening to you talk made me feel a little better. We both always keep trying tho🙂 Hugs Myra❤
You'll be okay. :)
Life is hard, Myra. Sometimes these "kids" jump on me and bury me in an ocean of kisses. They are terribly strong and I can hardly catch my breath.
One of these days you'll have the same experience. But - like me - before that day comes you'll have to change thousands of diapers (pampers)... 😂🙋🏻♂️
We call it "love".
My 💔 breaks for you #MyraWest. I know exactly how you feel. Keep your chin up! There are plenty of lovely people out here in this world. Please talk to someone if you can, but please don’t keep this bottled up inside. It will destroy you, Okay? ❤️ya!!!
I am glad you are not afraid to share this. I am glad that you tried to leave the break up on a good note.
Sorry to hear about the break-up. I hope you're both doing ok. Socrates said "Time and Patience are the two great physicians because they heal everything". I really hope both of you grow from this experience in a good way. Keep in mind too, some people just like being negative. I worked with a guy up North here in the winter who ( God love him) was so negative, I'm almost sure he could make Jesus take a swing at him. I use to feel bad that he was always negative and I'd try extra hard to make him laugh but after awhile I realized I wasn't bringing him up, he was still negative but now I started feeling negative too, so instead of both of us drowning in negativity, I stopped going out of my way to try to make him laugh and I focused on having a good day for myself. You can only live for one, not two :)
So sorry to hear you get shamed in the comments for sharing your experiences. Thank you for still doing this. Your videos are a joy!
As for the ex 😬 it sounds like he took you for granted. He may be a great guy but hes not putting in his 100% both people have to do their part. If hes contacting you is probably not over you but if hes being mean it probably wont change. Not unless he does his work. Cycles are a mutha and can drive a lady nearly insane, toss a guy into the mix and yikes!!! Get dark chocolate and snacks and be kind to yourself lady! You are not a poser! You are not failing! Nobody is perfect. You are good enough. You are here helping So Many Souls By Your sharing and caring! I hope you feel better and more strong soon ❤
There will always be highs and lows, what matters is the experience we gain from them💪🏻
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you gave it your best in the relationship. Best to part ways now; doesn't sound like it's healthy for you to be near him if he is going to belittle you.
Have you ever looked into cptsd? A lot of what you express in your videos about your experience with anxiety and emotional regulation are super relatable to me and my therapist recommended I look into it. I have to be honest when i finally did Id never felt so seen. It was really helpful.
Also, I just want to join the multitude in saying Im glad youre making content. I really think what youre doing is having a largely positive impact. Even if you do slip up at some point and do something for attention (which is bound to happen now and again since youre one of the rest of us) anyone who simplifies your content to that alone is being super unnuanced.
Hi Myra, thank you for sharing. I just found your channel and have subscribed! With people and their comments, maybe for certain videos turning off the comments would be best. Overall, I think most people are positive and leave good comments. Its a small percentage of idiots out there who are devoid of a kind soul. Im sorry you've had to deal with people like that. Wishing you love and light and that you're well. Take care.
Hope it gets better...❤
When the other person drags you down like that a break or breakup might be the best answer. .
I can relate. . when you give too much and get basically nothing in return it makes you go like: "Oh no, not again !"
From my experience I say what you might really "missing" is what you thought he could have become with time, but that's really gamble.
Some people just get worse with the passage of time, specially if they don't value and make no effort to keep you around.
It was a great description of the whole event
I believe in you, Myra.
So you should believe in you, too.
This was very insightful. Thanks for sharing your recent struggles, Myra.
Here are my knee-jerk responses/crappy advice to some of the things you brought up:
1. My experience with "PMS" is more of heightened feelings of aggravation and less patience with people before my period starts. It's definitely hormonally caused. I'm not sure actual depression is normal though. I usually hear about that with women on hormonal birth control.
2. In a similar vein, men also have hormonally exacerbated emotional issues, that hormone being testosterone. You mentioned your ex responding angrily and aggressively to the break-up, and that he hasn't expressed any sort of sadness or hurt. Well, he sounds like a emotionally immature man, because anger is often how men react when they feel those sorts of emotional pain. Additionally, men tend to have a higher propensity to want to hurt others when they feel that way, which is what makes them more dangerous on the whole. It sounds like ultimately you dodged a bullet with him, so I agree with other commenters: block and go no contact. You are not his mother (or his girlfriend for that matter), so I would adopt the mindset that his bad feelings are not your problem anymore. Don't let him try and drag you back, because to me that sounds like someone with a future potential to be abusive.
3. Girlfriend drama: as hard as it is, don't overthink your dynamics with your female friends. It is A-OK to not be the "best friend" or as close as other friends. This is part of life and how you become more secure in yourself. 🙂
Yikes … he sounds very immature …
Hi Myra,
I recently watched your video and have 4 points for comment: one is for your ex and that he has a lot more problems than you may not have been aware of which therefore became impossible for living together. Two is the gifts you had picked up at the last minute was ok (might not been perfect but it is the thought that counts). Three is to let you know that you share these videos and moments with us is mainly for seeing your viewpoints on life). Fourth and lastly, the others who have been watching your videos had never been through what you were.
Hope to hear from you soon and keep on smiling in stride:)😎😎😎😎😎😎😎