Painful Emotions and Complex Trauma - Part 1/8 - Pain

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  • čas přidán 5. 10. 2018
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Komentáře • 113

  • @elbradavid533
    @elbradavid533 Před 4 měsíci +32

    He's better than any therapist I've ever had

    • @susannluckmann7705
      @susannluckmann7705 Před 4 měsíci +4

      Tim, and the "crappy childhood fairy" 🧚‍♀️🤓

    • @jorjwebbb1449
      @jorjwebbb1449 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Agreed. makes me wonder why so many millions of other well educated, well experienced therapists are so clueless about what's really going on in relationship problems and most significantly what to do about it. This guy gets it.

  • @richellelemon3137
    @richellelemon3137 Před 5 lety +107

    I've been watching these videos now for the past couple of days and Tim, you are awesome. I feel comforted and understood. And, even though I have a very difficult time speaking of or hearing other people speak of 'God' (not religions), you make it easy. There is a naturalness about you and you are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

    • @AllIn1Studio
      @AllIn1Studio Před 2 lety +11

      Agree! 💛Tim is a godsend!!! 🙏. I too discovered him ….it was divine intervention how he popped up on YT ….I now understand how and why my behavior was so impulsive and incomprehensible - to myself and others! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Tim

    • @richellelemon3137
      @richellelemon3137 Před 2 lety +1

      @@AllIn1Studio 💛

    • @lavonnibjur
      @lavonnibjur Před 2 lety +5

      Agreed! Tim's authenticity and transparency is a breath of fresh air.

    • @neezie9334
      @neezie9334 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Absolutely a blessing his gift to allow ourselves to honour our self to evolve in a way that is not always available when going through trauma emotions and the challenges all we need is to love listeni acknowledge and know that we have th power always to change with one step at a rime any given moment by allowing oneself to receive the inner power of our self. AMAZING souls and gifted are those who walk through the earth with the pain of trauma and the human nature mind matter conflict and there is the true power GIFT THAT WE ARE OFFERING BLESSINGS WE JUST NEED TO RECEIVE AND KINOW THAT THER EIS A COLLECTIVE LEGACY THAT WE ALL WILL APPRECIATE we are here as messengers the wisdom to share with others and generations to come forward SOUL EVOLUTION IS THE PURPOSE OF OUR JOURNEY ❤ STAY STRONG BELIEVE AND THAT we are born with richness that is priceless! Know Thyself !

    • @robertafierro5592
      @robertafierro5592 Před 2 měsíci +1

      It's a Healthy Binge!

  • @charlenetucker6652
    @charlenetucker6652 Před 2 lety +23

    Just when I thought...ok something deeper is going on within me, and other's said it was just in my head.
    God caused me to come across this sight.
    What a Mighty God I serve!
    God bless you for sharing brother Fletcher

  • @user-tl4ke8yr1d
    @user-tl4ke8yr1d Před 4 měsíci +7

    These videos have been life changing for me

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort Před rokem +10

    When your reason to be on high alert at all times is suddenly gone, you do experience something like cold turkey withdrawals.
    Once you start balancing out and something happens Distress Hangovers are a thing.

  • @dianeclayton4936
    @dianeclayton4936 Před 3 lety +33

    I love these!! The BEST most compassionate approach not just for addicts but for humans. Thank You for making them available for us all!! Blessings! 💗

  • @michelleevler7163
    @michelleevler7163 Před 3 měsíci +9

    This is mindblowing. I think Tim is the ONLY Psychologist in this WORLD who knows what we go through.

  • @abusetoenlightenment3074
    @abusetoenlightenment3074 Před 5 lety +18

    Human beings in general spend their lives avoiding pain and chasing pleasure.

  • @rondae7121
    @rondae7121 Před 5 lety +36

    So thankful for God's mercy and His healing. He will never leave me or forsake me. Recovery = pain. But the results are so worth it.

  • @yourenough3
    @yourenough3 Před 5 lety +37

    One of the most beneficial talks Ive ever listened to. So grateful. ✌

  • @chiaradallabona9124
    @chiaradallabona9124 Před 3 měsíci +2

    The best therapist I had ever had ❤

  • @adambranch8692
    @adambranch8692 Před rokem +9

    I only recently discovered this lecture series. I've benefitted immensely in the last week.
    Thank you so much. God Bless

  • @ts3858
    @ts3858 Před 2 lety +17

    I have no one to talk to that I trust about my pain. I can't find a sponsor that's trauma-informed... 😭🙏

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 Před 5 lety +19

    My "creator" didn't hold me down, rob me of decades, and deliberately destroy my life thru trauma I won't ever have time to heal from. Evil psychopaths did that.

    • @leahflower9924
      @leahflower9924 Před 2 lety +3

      Lol good point!

    • @despicabledavidshort3806
      @despicabledavidshort3806 Před rokem +4

      Yea, I'm just realizing I'm not going to have time to heal either, but I can get better. I don't even think a human CAN heal from the things I've been through

    • @tmking7483
      @tmking7483 Před rokem

      Thinking same thing, that's how I can figure out if we have a narcy preacher_ whenever they try to shame you _ then u know_not a Jesus thing

  • @raneasmith1247
    @raneasmith1247 Před rokem +7

    Thank you so much for these videos. I'm learning so much. I love how you are teaching these important truths and skills.

  • @Crazydoglady.
    @Crazydoglady. Před 5 lety +18

    Absolutely BRILLIANT!! ✨

  • @gameaudioshaman
    @gameaudioshaman Před 4 měsíci +2

    Thank you for all the videos. Very helpful

  • @MichaelRyanEpley
    @MichaelRyanEpley Před 6 měsíci +1

    Do I write the book now? Do I, like an addict, enable my weakness to fulfill my desires or do I pursue healing instead? Yeah, healing it is.
    I will not decide on a purpose and point to my life until I have substantially healed. I will let healing be the only goal and find a use for myself and what I am now.
    Addiction isn't a dirty word. It is the mechanism of redemption. We either push our suffering into others or not. That decision sets the mechanism in motion.
    The pain drives the improvement in the system. We create it all ourselves. All of it - the reward, the frustration, the pain, and the solution are all of a piece. It all begins here. This is ground zero for the growth of the human being.
    This is cool. I'm going to have one amazing book idea pop into mind in short order. I can feel it coming.

  • @xenatron9056
    @xenatron9056 Před rokem +4

    Thankyou Tim. You have such a kind way of teaching us and showing us the intricacies of our souls and the mechanics of interacting with life.

  • @aliciam6725
    @aliciam6725 Před rokem +6

    Watching this from a psyche ward. Found unconscious in my home after protracted emotional pain. I’m scared that I’m going to die and leave a suicide legacy for my poor boys. Having ECT. It IS NOT helping.

    • @katrinat.3032
      @katrinat.3032 Před 5 měsíci +2

      🙏🙏 please don’t give up hope

    • @rlane1lsu
      @rlane1lsu Před 4 měsíci

      Start eating a Carnivore diet. Only red meat, salt and water. It will greatly improve your mental health.

    • @juliaoconnor5688
      @juliaoconnor5688 Před 3 měsíci

      So pleased you found this siite

  • @Chris-yf2zs
    @Chris-yf2zs Před 6 měsíci +1

    0:15 the brain with pain and pleasure
    5:30 numbing and avoiding were your only solutions
    7:00 the previous you handled pain the best you knew how
    9:15 dysfunctional strategies for avoiding pain: stuffing, anger, isolation

  • @theparkers8627
    @theparkers8627 Před 2 lety +4

    Unbelievable 🙏 ✨ thank you thank you thank you Tim 🤍 Your videos are like a lighthouse through my healing journey 🕯

  • @gardenbee1238
    @gardenbee1238 Před rokem +3

    Thank you very much for explaining the expectations of recovery! 🎉❤

  • @thenewuser3100
    @thenewuser3100 Před 2 měsíci

    Were u watching me the whole time?? ...you r a god sent ! I feel seen and validated .thank u so much !

  • @neallcalvert
    @neallcalvert Před rokem +4

    The benefit of facing and healing pain is having more life-force energy. So there's a benefit. . . . Pain is stuck life energy.

  • @justinheer9098
    @justinheer9098 Před 2 lety +4

    I trust the Potter, thanks for putting it that way

  • @Bronx-baby
    @Bronx-baby Před 2 měsíci

    You really know what you’re talking about and are so informative. I wish there was more of this stuff on CZcams ten years ago but I’m glad there is now. You make it very clear and digestible. No therapist OR doctor has EVER explained any of this to me EVER and I’ve probably spent WELL over $100,000 in the past decade plus. Easily!!!! I’ve had to learn all of this on my own by buying so many books and going down so many rabbit holes. You are summarizing it very easily for people here. I feel so bad for people who got caught up in the opioid crisis and got put on opioids and ended up with hyperalgesia and then got cut off opioids and ended up heroin and fentynal addicts. How sad!!! I literally JUST missed the opioid crisis. Just a few years earlier and I would have been put on those drugs too. I’m on a host of other drugs but at least they aren’t opioids. Education like this is very necessary.

  • @dianeorr8937
    @dianeorr8937 Před rokem +3

    Such great wisdom!

  • @animalliberationCLBB
    @animalliberationCLBB Před 4 měsíci

    I'm just so thankful for Tim Fletcher❤

  • @kathyhathaway3318
    @kathyhathaway3318 Před 6 měsíci

    Wow, this brings tears to my eyes as I go through my recovery process. I absolutely love your talks. Thank you so much! God Bless!!!

  • @adamkolakowski5356
    @adamkolakowski5356 Před 5 měsíci

    What a great talk. God always sends me what I need and this was what I needed. Thank you for being a willing envoy for the most high.

  • @TheBillaro
    @TheBillaro Před 8 měsíci +1

    God gave us a difficult situation, parents-partner, and we resent it, 'why were they so bad?', but he did it for a reason.
    for me, i learned that i was resilient, what pain is and now i'm coming back to balance love and pain and independence and reliance. ❤

  • @leticiamilo4387
    @leticiamilo4387 Před rokem +2

    Thanks sooo much for sharing this video!❤⚘
    Learning with your teachings!😊

  • @joygwin6673
    @joygwin6673 Před 2 měsíci

    Yes..Have used the I Don't Care...but it helped me to find middle group instead of fixing...

  • @stephbyerly9491
    @stephbyerly9491 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Tim you are the absolute best but I have a request. There are so many different videos that you have, with so many different titles and numbers 11 of 60 and so forth that I am really confused as to what order I should watch this in. The videos don't automatically roll over to the next one that it should, unless you're changing the titles as you go but not the numbers. The last one I was just watching was entitled "Relationships and complex trauma part 6 of 11." And yet here I am on part 1 of 8. Do you have a master list somewhere of every video you've ever done and the orders and the dates and the titles and the numbers? I would love to be in possession of this, and I would also love it if CZcams would just put you the next video in order! It's just very confusing and frustrating. Thanks Tim for any help you can give with this!

  • @enoughisenough9937
    @enoughisenough9937 Před 2 měsíci

    Thanks!

  • @js2010ish
    @js2010ish Před 2 lety +1

    Truly great cptsd concepts

  • @BeautiHacks
    @BeautiHacks Před 4 měsíci

    27:41 Thank you!! You are amazing at this. Great metaphors.

  • @truth360able
    @truth360able Před rokem +1

    Thank you and God for your gifts of communication! I have been so troubled by my Complex Trauma issues I shut down basically radically for more than 7 decades... operating from many of the explained stand points. I am deeply grateful for all your lectures. They are the bridge of understanding myself so much more. I was into "hopelessness, shame, guilt, codependency, and other false thoughts and ..:
    Again, your inspired messages are so deeply appreciated and "freeing"! Someone understands and cares to share!

  • @ms.bekzadaonlineschool22
    @ms.bekzadaonlineschool22 Před 7 měsíci

    Thank you ❤

  • @johnpuig9335
    @johnpuig9335 Před rokem

    Thank you

  • @user-yz7ey6mo9z
    @user-yz7ey6mo9z Před 2 měsíci

    I remember at age 4 or 5, beating my favorite stuffed rabbit after an extreme beating for crying. It freaked me out because I could barely breath..My pain was transferred to the stuffed rabbit. .that was the beginning. At age 51, I still keep that rabbit under my bed, just in case. Taking care of my dad now with the worst characteristics of alzheimers is so triggering for me now.

  • @leahflower9924
    @leahflower9924 Před 2 lety +2

    It is interesting how its dangerous to not be able to feel pain

  • @ArlenePillado
    @ArlenePillado Před 11 měsíci

    You make it all make sense now , we all know

  • @mellissamorrell5085
    @mellissamorrell5085 Před 5 lety +8

    Self harm goes way beyond cutting...cutting is always used. Why when it's just one of so many ?

    • @despicabledavidshort3806
      @despicabledavidshort3806 Před rokem +1

      Something must be the example, why not cutting?

    • @shadowfax9177
      @shadowfax9177 Před 2 měsíci

      He does go into the different types of self harm in other videos. It's probably time constraints. Cutting is the form of self harm that is associated with it frequently so he uses that example.

  • @kevinbissinger
    @kevinbissinger Před 2 lety +3

    my brain made pain pleasurable, which is why I think the golden rule is such a terrible rule.

  • @helenwarren5217
    @helenwarren5217 Před 2 lety +7

    I've been in soiritual pain during sobriety becausi i i have the delusion that im not worth forgiving.I know better but i am unable to let go of it.

    • @angelagarcia8101
      @angelagarcia8101 Před 2 lety

      No one could ever earn or deserve God’s love grace and mercy..but because He loves us He sent His son Jesus to take our place on the cross and forgiveness was bought with His blood. Through faith in Jesus alone we are made the righteousness of God . When God looks at us He sees the blood of Jesus. You’re sins past present and future have been made white as snow. Give it to God and He will do the rest. My prayers are that you see what Gos sees when you look in the mirror. God bless you

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 Před rokem

      Have you looked into core wound healing? Our subconscious can be reprogrammed and we can heal that belief.
      Often we develop the deep, underlying belief of unworthiness.
      It absolutely can be healed. Reparenting, and reprogramming are so powerful.
      I wish you healing and peace 💫

    • @shadowfax9177
      @shadowfax9177 Před 2 měsíci

      It's difficult isn't it? There's so many things we know on an intellectual level, but to actually *believe* them at a core level is so difficult. May God bless you on your journey.

  • @danaleonard8649
    @danaleonard8649 Před 2 lety

    Much Graditude 💓💞🌈💪🌟💫🕊️🌍

  • @ljrme9009
    @ljrme9009 Před 5 lety +9

    Hi. Are you talking about physical or mental pain? Where does fibromyalgia fit in? Thank you for your time.

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  Před 5 lety +14

      ljr me Both. Constant physical pain, like fibromyalgia, results in a brain that is constantly on the edge of flight or fight

    • @myoldfarmhouse4316
      @myoldfarmhouse4316 Před 5 lety +8

      Professionals also feel Fybromyalgia is caused by unresolved childhood Trauma, since statically that's what the percentages show. It is triggered by a physical Stress. In my case, l had Costocondritis (again caused my phycological stress but also physical exertion) that than triggered the beginnings of Fybromyalgia...l did feel like flighting or fighting at the time it happened!

    • @timmywitty1432
      @timmywitty1432 Před 2 lety +1

      Check out dr robert morse on yt. He is a true healer and he is teaching all who want to heal how to allow the body to regenerate. Fibromyalgia iis a back up lymphatic system, systemic acidosis.

    • @julieshenk7640
      @julieshenk7640 Před 2 lety

      @@myoldfarmhouse4316 FM came six months after a difficult and repeat whiplash that would not respond. Also, the flooding came for autoimmune, OA diagnosis as well. However, repressed childhood memories came up and life stressful prior.

  • @MichaelRyanEpley
    @MichaelRyanEpley Před 6 měsíci

    Peering into the vagueries of time now surrounding my memories shows me the time dilatation that flavors all corners of my memories.
    Oh yeah, there it is! Thanks for being here and available to me. It means a great deal and I am grateful.

  • @randihope7390
    @randihope7390 Před rokem

    Me too 😢

  • @yamicanada
    @yamicanada Před rokem

    💖💖💖

  • @jcepri
    @jcepri Před měsícem

    I thought he was talking about the connection between physical body pain and complex trauma but then he went back to emotional pain. I want to know if physical pain can be CAUSED BY complex trauma.

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort Před rokem +1

    There's some who, after a certain amount of physical pain has been experienced, can cause [temporary] insanity - literal.
    And, it is not fun

  • @fatemejamalzade3190
    @fatemejamalzade3190 Před 3 měsíci +1

    The way i can't pay for the membership, (my country doesn't support paypal and its too expensive in our money)and the fact that i feel discontent more than anything and i can't watch its video , is triggering me badly😿

    • @Peppita_
      @Peppita_ Před 2 měsíci

      Try to find this video on others apps than CZcams, like freetube etc..

  • @merrill5780
    @merrill5780 Před 11 měsíci

    Can early intimate relations be a way of numbing? For example, allowing relations with an older person, an adult?

  • @gogogolyra1340
    @gogogolyra1340 Před 2 měsíci

    Joys are the whispers of God, pains are the shouts of God. I find that God uses disease, affliction, suffering to bring us back to Him when we’ve really strayed sooo far. Not to mention that God affirms the redemptive value of pain and sacrifice when we were saved by Jesus’s passion and crucifixion on the cross.

  • @howard1beale
    @howard1beale Před 3 měsíci

    Ebenezer Scrooge is described as an oyster...

  • @rabbitcreative
    @rabbitcreative Před 10 měsíci

    27:20 Should be? Is that true? I don't think so. Not always. Surely there are alternatives.

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort Před rokem

    Emotional pain and physical pain is processed by the same area of the brain.
    As far as the brain's concerned all pain is pain

  • @margrennie4163
    @margrennie4163 Před 2 lety

    I thank you for these. Is there a program in Washington State. Thank you for the biblical principles.

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  Před 2 lety

      Not at this time. The only thing that would be available would be our online Lift program

    • @heatherconway2032
      @heatherconway2032 Před 2 lety

      Same question for Michigan? I don’t see a local Re/act centre, is online the best option?

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  Před 2 lety

      @@heatherconway2032 At this time, yes. Our LIFT program

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  Před 2 lety +2

      @@heatherconway2032 We have RE/ACT in Windsor, and are hoping to start something in Michigan, but we are in the very early stages of exploration

    • @heatherconway2032
      @heatherconway2032 Před 2 lety

      @@TimFletcher that’s great! I hope you consider SE Michigan (Ann arbor/Detroit area)🤞

  • @moonshineonme75013
    @moonshineonme75013 Před 7 měsíci

    11:48

  • @joygwin6673
    @joygwin6673 Před 2 měsíci +1

    anger and being cynical are interesting tools..

    • @shadowfax9177
      @shadowfax9177 Před 2 měsíci

      Right? I was one of those people that would use anger to give myself anger and numb pain. I did this for decades until one day I realized what I was doing.

  • @noemicortes6380
    @noemicortes6380 Před 2 lety +1

    I had been listening your lectures and its very helpful. However here it's a complainer 😆 its annoying all the commercials that interrupt your talk. Trying to concentrate in your content and here we go, one more commercial. Thanks though, its very good.

  • @ts3858
    @ts3858 Před 2 lety +1

    Tim's voice is diminishing ...sounds like he's losing his voice. He has to strain. ..

  • @angelafeldman5903
    @angelafeldman5903 Před 2 lety

    NO PAIN, NO GAIN!

    • @olgakim4848
      @olgakim4848 Před 5 měsíci

      Yeah, if you wanna be a body builder! PPFFfffft!!!

  • @heyarchie
    @heyarchie Před 6 měsíci

    Very useful info, but I guess you should go to the doctor because your voice isn’t calming at all . Occasionally I just wanted to turn off because of the sound quality

  • @Lanearndt
    @Lanearndt Před 4 měsíci

    Damn, why did this have to get so God centered!?!!
    So much good info outside of that religious nonsense!

    • @shadowfax9177
      @shadowfax9177 Před 2 měsíci +1

      Many people get a lot of benefit from the spiritual food. That is why he separates it into two sections. If it's not your thing, don't listen. Very simple.

  • @kayrichardson4315
    @kayrichardson4315 Před 5 lety

    Clay -- or bread dough? Your analogy is mixed horribly. Also, how can clay have DNA?

    • @AllIn1Studio
      @AllIn1Studio Před 2 lety +9

      Kay, you try sharing this much information on healing that Tim has accumulated from direct life experience!! Surely that observation and criticism of yours is small potatoes compared to the massive buffet he has offered us all….that we benefit from for free,,,?! 🙏🧡😊

  • @AC-cv1ix
    @AC-cv1ix Před rokem

    I didn’t mess up my life! I was born into a family in narcissists. As a child I had no control over this. You start off well and seem to be insightful, but as soon as you link up your message with the bible, you shame victims. Dangerous.

  • @Lemoncare
    @Lemoncare Před 2 měsíci

    Pain changes people.