The Aging Crisis Trap - Focus On How it Feels, Not How it Looks

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  • čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
  • Our culture spends a lot of time fearing aging, trying to hide all signs of it, even attempting to eliminate it all together - but what if we stopped assuming it's all bad? Culturally we talk about aging in terms of a series of crises - quarter life when we hit 25, the turning 30 crisis, and then the mid-life crisis. And the most prominent fear of aging in our society is around looks fading. But what if we stopped focusing so much on how aging looks to pay attention more to how it feels to progress through different life stages? If we face our fears, then the joys of getting older can come to the surface.
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    CHAPTERS
    00:00 How aging looks vs how it feels
    01:08 Fears of fading looks
    04:08 Fighting the socially prescribed crisis
    06:40 With age comes empowerment
    CREDITS
    Executive Producers: Debra Minoff & Susannah McCullough
    Chief Creative Director: Susannah McCullough
    Associate Producer: Tyler Browner
    Writer: Harry Harris & Jackie Ferro
    Narrator: Charly Bivona
    Video Editor: Jacques Cote
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 225

  • @thetake
    @thetake  Před rokem +3

    WATCH MORE - Our culture's aging crisis is amplified by a new threat that's screwing with our brains. Here's our TAKE on how selfies, filters, and social media are giving us a major case of dysmorphia: czcams.com/video/3USv849xhmY/video.html

  • @kandondooley89
    @kandondooley89 Před rokem +358

    Interesting fact. I'm 31 and people tell me I look so good for my age...and Im like "so is 31 supposed to look bad ". People can look good at every age.

    • @Kareragirl
      @Kareragirl Před rokem +26

      "You don't know how old you are until people tell you how young you look." - Cary Grant
      This is why I don't tell people how young they look - not to mention how good they look for their age! Just say someone looks good or don't.

    • @spiralmewtrix
      @spiralmewtrix Před rokem +6

      People say the same to me and I’m 34.

    • @mmps18
      @mmps18 Před rokem +10

      I got that at 29 💀

    • @juliasfashionminute
      @juliasfashionminute Před rokem +2

      I'm 30 and people I don't know always think I'm 24. At a recent point I just want to look like a grown up haha

    • @julimoreira
      @julimoreira Před rokem +2

      I'm 39 and people tell me I look like I'm in my 20's. I think that the underline is the same: "you look good for your age". Hahahahaha

  • @doctorwholover1012
    @doctorwholover1012 Před rokem +385

    Absolutely LOVED watching everything everywhere all at once in cinema - a true Coming To Terms film, instead of the classic coming of age. We don't get the narrative of a teen becoming an adult and figuring themselves out, we get an adult coming to terms with all of the lives she could have lived, all of the options she didn't choose, and finding comfort in the life she DID choose and DOES live, and the value it contains.

    • @BryWithAWhy
      @BryWithAWhy Před rokem +14

      Omg there is so many layers to EEAAO. I always get caught up in the discussion of existentialism vs nihilism that I didn't even think about this element. A coming to terms film. I love it!

    • @cynthiasmith2459
      @cynthiasmith2459 Před rokem +9

      Love the idea of a coming to terms film. Yes, we need more of those!

  • @GeorgeGlass298
    @GeorgeGlass298 Před rokem +242

    I love that we're talking about this. As a woman that's over 45 I'm so confused with the obsession with being young. It's a capitalistic invention to sell you products. You are literally a young adult for like 12 years of your life. It turns out to be the smallest part of your life. You're older for a lot longer. The majority of your life is spent as an older person. My daughter pointed out that my hair is going gray, I told her I'm excited for it because I've never had gray hair before and I can't wait to see what it looks like. I'm fully embracing this getting older thing. It's true you really don't care what people think once you're over 40 and it's very freeing.

    • @CrimsonNineTail
      @CrimsonNineTail Před rokem +2

      I feel a good part of this is due to old world mindsets from the 40s and 50s.

    • @bodhisattva2348
      @bodhisattva2348 Před rokem +7

      I'm 23 & I realize being young just means being broke, meanwhile my 31 yr old sis is living her best life in Bali 😒

    • @GeorgeGlass298
      @GeorgeGlass298 Před rokem

      @Bystander232 that's so true. Why would I 1 want a 25-year-old to recommend a wrinkle cream to me?

    • @Miiszthing7
      @Miiszthing7 Před rokem +4

      @@bodhisattva2348 enjoy every age they are all precious. You are only going to be 23 once. I think it’s about enjoying and loving yourself throughout your journey.

    • @adamamunu3046
      @adamamunu3046 Před měsícem

      I LOVE your take, thank you for enlightening us.

  • @EmpressJusticeTarot
    @EmpressJusticeTarot Před rokem +229

    People don't seem to understand that ageing is a grieving process. Our desire to look younger is simply us being taught not to properly grieve loss. Because even just being a kid going to kindergarten, there's a transition that occurs, a point of no return that needs patience & kindness to get through.

    • @123MeMyselfAndI456
      @123MeMyselfAndI456 Před rokem +7

      very true and profound!

    • @TheGuardDuck
      @TheGuardDuck Před rokem +3

      This.

    • @everyonelovesdee
      @everyonelovesdee Před rokem +25

      Our society's media's inability to portray any type of grieving really annoys me. I have had to remind people you have to grieve for the life you thought you were going to have when an unforeseable event happens. Being resilient and showing resilence is great, but you don't get there without having grieved something. Sorry if that went on a bit of a tangent but was bouncing of what you said.

    • @EmpressJusticeTarot
      @EmpressJusticeTarot Před rokem +11

      @everyonelovesdee No apologies needed, you're absolutely right. We live in a world where our malaise is pandered to rather than healed. So instead of us being healed on the CAUSE of why we don't want to mature, we're sold products on how to look young for as long as possible. The symptoms are covered over with a plaster and the disease - inability to deal with grief - festers and is ignored. So no, you're not off-base at all. If anything, you might be slightly understating the issue. LOL

    • @Fixtheproblemwithgoodpolicy
      @Fixtheproblemwithgoodpolicy Před rokem +4

      Is it, you've already been young, wouldn't it be boring doing the same thing and experiencing similar things in the same ways all the time?

  • @michellem9444
    @michellem9444 Před rokem +77

    The great thing about being in my 50s is that I don't really care what anyone thinks about my looks, my career choices, my life path, etc. I am sooooooo much happier today than I ever was in my 20s or 30s. I feel sorry for the youngsters going through all the aging anxiety. From this vantage, I can see how wrong and useless that type of anxiety is. I wish all you Milllenials the joy of reaching this point. The ride is a lot more fun than you think! ;)

    • @flowerpower7065
      @flowerpower7065 Před 6 měsíci +1

      As a 29 yo.. im more confident and secure that I was from 12-24 years. I would hate to be a teenager in this day and age. I so get you!

  • @Rampala
    @Rampala Před rokem +52

    I think one thing we don't talk about enough is how much the obsession with youth is driven by advertising. Young people are more desirable to advertise to because they're generally more insecure and thus vulnerable to manipulative advertising. They're also more likely to have disposable income. So the fact that advertising is fixated on young people can warp our perception of what we should all be striving for.

    • @sallyjrwjrw6766
      @sallyjrwjrw6766 Před rokem

      What a great point!

    • @Indigazure
      @Indigazure Před rokem

      You made a great point, I want to take it a little further and say that western society is getting closer to grooming/ sexualizing teens and children becoming the norm.

  • @Densoro
    @Densoro Před rokem +26

    The 30 crisis hits different when PTSD has you on the bench. The only thing more terrifying than being 'past my prime' is feeling like my life will never _have_ a prime, just crisis after crisis.
    This has helped me reexamine that. Thank you.

    • @instantpug7036
      @instantpug7036 Před rokem +3

      You are not alone. At all. For a long time I wanted to "re"-create my youth, or just halt it, because I never "properly" experienced it in the first place. But at one point I could not ignore my brain actually having aged and matured anymore, realizing, what am I even chasing? This isn't me, I don‘t even want this. I can do anything I want even now. I don't have to pretend I‘m younger to do it.
      But there is obviously still grieving that has to be done regarding the "innocent enjoyment" we should have experienced when we were busy struggling with the effects of trauma.
      On the flip side: Now we can help younger people who suffer the same, be there for them, show them, they are not alone and don't have to waste their lives not Being In The World.

    • @allana1997
      @allana1997 Před rokem +1

      Try to follow people on social media that are older than you in fields that interest you, then you can see what you have to look forward to rather than people younger than who’ve achieved more by social standards

    • @edgartovar959
      @edgartovar959 Před 2 měsíci

      @@instantpug7036About recreating your youth. Im 22. Yeah i was born yesterday basically. But damn, i lost thread of my years 16-21 due to covid. Mostly 18-21. I Didnt experienced a lot i needed to experience. What do i do? What did i missed? Why do i still grieve my younger me?

  • @Siansonea
    @Siansonea Před rokem +92

    I'm Gen X, and I decided a long time ago that I was going to give zero forks about 'aging'. I'll always try to look pulled together, but I'm never going to try to 'look young'. I think I had my midlife crisis when I was 12. 😆

    • @AdultThirdCultureKid1971
      @AdultThirdCultureKid1971 Před rokem +1

      Fellow Gen Xer here: So did I. It's sad that, even in the Middle East, some in society value what they think is beauty. I don't even want to keep coloring my hair, but it's hard when your hairdresser thinks that some grey hair will make you look older.

    • @Siansonea
      @Siansonea Před rokem +1

      @@AdultThirdCultureKid1971 I say take a hard line with your hairdresser. They just want to make more money, and coloring your hair is a service they can charge for. Just tell them you're done, and if they are uncooperative, find another hairdresser. You're paying _them,_ they don't get to dictate how you look.

  • @joancrawford5781
    @joancrawford5781 Před rokem +14

    This was the best one you have ever done. I am 50 and on a big upswing in my life without having met a lot of traditional success markers (I am a childless woman who has never married) and I was literally beaming and clapping because of this. The work you do with these videos is so important because they undo/prevent a lot of the media's power to brainwash people.

  • @andrewlyon4495
    @andrewlyon4495 Před rokem +51

    While there are plenty of people that remain active in their autumn years, for many the fear of age isn't grey hairs or wrinkles, but losing your mind to dementia, losing your ability to take care of yourself, your friends to time, and ultimately becoming a burden, physically, mentally, and financially on their loved ones. While it's great the elder actors and actress are getting focus, they do tend to stop before they get to the part when their grand kids are changing their diapers.

  • @calyl
    @calyl Před rokem +15

    So timely..im turning 37 this week..i am too tired of life to be trying to look young...at the end of the day it is being happy with yourself

  • @traylong
    @traylong Před rokem +30

    I'm glad that this conversation is finally happening, ageism against women is one of the last prejudices that has not been challenged, especially in Hollywood and popular culture. Many films in the past depicted older women as disgusting, bitter bitches, monsters, and generally passe with uncool values and assumptions. Its because the men who wrote, directed, and produced these films were creeps who generally hate older women - think Woody Allen, Harvey Weinstein. With everything everywhere all at once featuring two older female actors, this false narrative is being dismissed. Love Michelle Yeoh. I'm 56 do not feel old, I'm very healthy, active, and happy. Lets flip this narrative that middle aged women are old, this is so not true.

  • @bea4156
    @bea4156 Před rokem +31

    Can’t lose your looks if you never had them to begin with! 🙃😂 I’m finally turning 40 this year and I can’t wait! While I support people feeling beautiful at every age, my whole life I’ve looked forward to being a “little old lady” bc you’re finally free from the expectation of being “hot”!!

  • @Rampala
    @Rampala Před rokem +27

    As a Millennial, I've found the time where we're old/young enough to be taken seriously just doesn't exist. We're approaching our 40s now, it should be our prime, but Gen Z has already decided we're irrelevant. And Boomers continue to blame us for the end of everything they loved when the economy wasn't trash.

    • @kandondooley89
      @kandondooley89 Před rokem +9

      All of that is just noise. Gen Z doesn't have any power to make you feel anything about yourself. As far as Boomers, classic projection tactic. Everybody knows who's really at fault for that.

    • @cecee3480
      @cecee3480 Před rokem +12

      It’s difficult to accept aging when you aren’t living life like how older people did in previous generations. I still feel 23 because I basically still live like I’m in my 20s even though I’m in my 30s now.

    • @xyincognito
      @xyincognito Před rokem +5

      but does it matter what Gen Z think? I mean they are still babies... I am also a millenial pushing 40 and couldnt care less... It's the back pain that keeps me from doing the outdoorsy things i Love :D

    • @KiraFriede
      @KiraFriede Před rokem +1

      I am still waiting to be taken seriously. I am 31 years old.

  • @nigelasipa4150
    @nigelasipa4150 Před rokem +2

    As someone with autism and 33, I felt relieved watching this. I've felt for a while that by now I should've achieved certain things based on what those younger or of similar age has accomplished like being a parent, paying a mortgage, being able to drive, embarking on your career, getting married etc. When I think about why I haven't achieved those things (yet!), I try to consider how my life has turned out up to this point and give myself some credit for what I have achieved. And the great thing is, I still have looooooads of time to achieve these things.

  • @julimoreira
    @julimoreira Před rokem +6

    I'm 39 and I NEVER felt more beautiful. I take belly dance classes (since 2004!), my teacher is in her 50's and saturday I was talking to another dancer who is a grandmother (she's in her 60's) and we were laughing about this age thing. How fun it is to be our age and be free to do whatever we want.

  • @fabricaHumanoide
    @fabricaHumanoide Před rokem +7

    Things I think got better with age:
    Better self-confidence
    Better self-awareness
    Better understanding of reality
    Better appreciation of beauty
    Better appreciation of arts
    Better conversation skills
    Better arguments
    Better communication skills
    Better story-telling
    Better capability to stand for yourself
    Better capability to defend yourself
    Better critical thinking
    Better attitude
    Better temperamental control
    Better emotional control
    Better empathy
    Better kwoledge
    Wisdom
    (I can think about more stuff but I listed the most importand for me)

  • @catadoodles
    @catadoodles Před rokem +62

    The script writers at The Take are clearly not old enough yet to know the 'joy' of aging where you can hurt yourself while asleep.... by sleeping wrong. 🤣I do like who I am as I get older a lot better, and life gets easier as you figure more out. There are pros, but the physical cons can be rough. 'Youth is wasted on the young' as they say. :)

    • @Kc-dq7zj
      @Kc-dq7zj Před rokem +12

      I think that's because younger people consider themselves "old" way before they're actually older.
      I completely agree. If you don't hurt yourself by simply sleeping at least once a week, you're not old enough to be talking about the "joy" of aging 😆

    • @catadoodles
      @catadoodles Před rokem +6

      @@Kc-dq7zj Thankfully, I am not up to once a week for instances of it happening, but it can take over a week to fully recover after it does happen! Still working out the crick in my neck from Tuesday night last week. It made it so I couldn't even turn my head to one side at all for days. I have about 45% of my usual range back now. Oh, another thought I had as I got deeper in the video is that the gains of experience and moving through life aren't always based on age. It's about actually processing the lessons you learn, so if you aren't able to actually grow from what you are experiencing, no amount of time will help you. if you can't do that step, you are doomed to keep making the same mistakes and fall into bad patterns until you can figure it out. I think The Take does have a good point about people being scared of birthdays. I feel like a loon now for how upset I was about turning 25. I made a point to get a better attitude when I realized that it just gets harder physically as you go on, and a bad frame of mind will only make it worse. It's better to enjoy the small things and invest in good-quality pillows. 🤣

    • @Tinkerbe11
      @Tinkerbe11 Před rokem +4

      I absolutely agree! One of my former managers used to say: "When you are over 50 and you wake up in the morning, and nothing hurts, you are dead."🤣 That's so true!
      When I was in my early 50s, I fell down the stairs a few times, when the doorbell rang in the morning, and I wanted to run down the stairs, and in my head, my feet were a lot faster than they actually were. When I was younger, that had matched up, but it very apruptly stopped. It also didn't help that my weight almost doubled during menopause, even though I did not change my lifestyle during that time.

    • @dl2725
      @dl2725 Před rokem +6

      Lol, yeah, talking about how it “feels” without once mentioning pain… it tells on the writers. They also dropped the ball on talking about fertility. But hey, give the millennials and younger something to look forward to. They’ll get here soon enough. And it’s alright 😜

    • @Aelffwynn
      @Aelffwynn Před rokem +10

      I've had chronic pain and neck (now also back) issues for most of my life. I'm in my early thirties. It absolutely do hurt myself in the ways you are describing.
      I understand that maybe I'm unusual. But when I mention my back pain to ANYONE older than me, they'll say, "oh, you're young. Wait until you have X symptom or experience Y pain." And all I can think is, "I already do. But thanks for assuming I can't possibly be struggling at all just because YOU were healthy at my age."
      So, yeah. I'm not saying this to be a jerk, but please allow young people to relate to you. You're not automatically in more pain just because you're older.

  • @pvuccino
    @pvuccino Před rokem +12

    I'm 42 and I've never had any kind of "life-crisis." I absolutely love getting older and watching all the little changes that come with age. Suddenly I'm bald and it's my new favorite new thing about the way I look! All of my friends who have put on hair plugs or dye their hair look at me as though I'm an alien or something! But I know it's your soul that matters, not your look. And my soul is about fifteen, so why should I care that the outside is aging?

  • @Zeverinsen
    @Zeverinsen Před rokem +4

    *Thank you.*
    I'm not old by any means (late 20's), but I needed this.
    I'm definitely still in my quarter life crisis, and it's all so taxing... I just want to find a path and stay on it, but I keep fumbling in the dark and foggy night that is bad mental health and uncertainty.
    All I ever wanted was to do something in my life that would mean something to someone. I wanted to know that I could help someone and be proud of my accomplishments, knowing that I made a change in the world.... But my mental health keeps standing in the way of my dreams, and I don't know how to get out of the basement.
    _It's good to know that things change in the future either way._

  • @Kudos268
    @Kudos268 Před rokem +11

    It’s completely insane for society to expect us to DEFY NATURE and stay young forever!

  • @shaz2868
    @shaz2868 Před rokem +8

    Ageing is a privilege. Many people unfortunately get their life cut short.

  • @Qualasaid
    @Qualasaid Před rokem +3

    Beautiful, beautiful piece guys! As always, the research and narration is impeccable. As a 40+ woman who is finally getting my time to shine within my career, this was very welcoming, validating and enjoyable to watch 🎉

  • @mariusgutowski8623
    @mariusgutowski8623 Před rokem +3

    As much as I love your take on this in general, I don´t agree with what you said about the ending of "Another Round". This movie is not about aging gracefully but alcoholism which is a very dangerous illness. In the end, the protagonists drinking again with their teenage students after almost losing what was most important in their lives is a sign of relapse, not one of letting go of seemingly societal age restrictions.

  • @cosa_oscura
    @cosa_oscura Před 10 měsíci

    I feel like a few years into your 30’s you sort of stop caring as much about aging. I get to stop trying so hard to be sexy. I can stop worrying about paying the pretty tax - I can just be. I know who I am more deeply. I love this.

  • @Sandrilyonaify
    @Sandrilyonaify Před měsícem

    I didn't have a turning 30 crisis. I replayed the Friends episode in my head, laughed it off and moved on. However, when I turned 35 I started to have panic attacks out of nowhere at the thought of how old I am. I have no idea why. It's exhausting.

  • @leoniemelodie7
    @leoniemelodie7 Před rokem

    Beautiful video. 🙏🏼💙 I recently turned 20, it felt very comforting and helpful to watch.

  • @L.o.0.o.L
    @L.o.0.o.L Před rokem +1

    I truly dislike how advertising + media has distorted beauty. There is so much beauty in abstraction and imperfection. There is just as much beauty in winter forest during a snow storm as there is in a flower garden. Beauty is just appreciate of form, proportion, design and life. There are beautiful moments, beautiful music, beautiful mistakes. And that has nothing to do with any item one can by or image one can strive to be.
    I have so much appreciation for beauty and art in general and it is so unfortunate it is demeaned into a frivolous, insecure expression to be sold for profit.

  • @johnjohnson3709
    @johnjohnson3709 Před rokem +3

    I’m a 67 year old queer male. This part of my life is great because I make it that way. I’ve been in 3 long term relationships totaling 30 years in all. Now I’m single and not having a partner is fine. I’ve learned to love myself in spite of things I might not like about myself. I still have an interesting sex life and stay single and a lot of these men are way younger than me. And also close to my age.
    I’ve finally learned the difference in being alone and being lonely.

  • @TopazPhoenix16
    @TopazPhoenix16 Před rokem +10

    I'm still in my 20s and I can't stand the fact that the fear of aging and ageism is so prevalent that people will call you old even though you're still on the young side. And that's made worse when they point out that quarter life crisis bullshit that I'm sure wasn't a thing til this age obsessed generation.

    • @chai_lattes
      @chai_lattes Před rokem +2

      It was really annoying when my friends would be like haha you're almost 25/30/whatever when they were like three years younger. You don't realize you're going to hit these ages one day too?

    • @TopazPhoenix16
      @TopazPhoenix16 Před rokem +3

      @chai lattes Agreed! Those same friends act like you're decades older and there's only a few years between you. Terrible

    • @chai_lattes
      @chai_lattes Před rokem +2

      @@TopazPhoenix16 haha I'm not friends with them anymore, but I wonder how they're faring these days being what they once considered "old". I've realized people like that have a deep anxiety over getting older so they project onto other people. It's really immature. Don't let their jokes get to you. Enjoy your life and make the most of your youth❤

    • @TopazPhoenix16
      @TopazPhoenix16 Před rokem +2

      @@chai_lattes cheers to that

  • @thespace2983
    @thespace2983 Před rokem

    I loved this episode. Thank u, as a very grey and older woman I appreciate and love who I am now. I may be heavier I may have a few lines on my face but I feel beautiful. No surgery, not trying to look younger, just being the real me. I love it.

  • @UltimateAwe
    @UltimateAwe Před rokem

    Bravo 👏🏽 EXCELLENT WORK AS USUAL.

  • @scoodler
    @scoodler Před rokem +1

    On the bright side of getting older, I've never looked forward to anything in my life as I am towards the idea of retirement. If I can somehow manage to do that, I won't give a damn what I look like.

  • @anonymousnation5235
    @anonymousnation5235 Před rokem

    Thank you so much. This calmed my anxieties. Also, make a video about why having it all is not important at all. Only do what you feel aligned with and what you define as your purpose.

  • @foreveravocado4792
    @foreveravocado4792 Před rokem

    Loved it!

  • @yumnaamjad2637
    @yumnaamjad2637 Před rokem +1

    I m 27 and damn scared off aging😢

  • @LuthienNightwolf
    @LuthienNightwolf Před rokem +1

    I’m 41 and I just simply don’t care about aging or getting “old”. So much of what we’re told to expect comes from mindset and lifestyle, you have control over those things. Just take care of yourself - exercise, eat well, get into nature once in a while, and especially look after your mental health.

  • @LockedPuppy
    @LockedPuppy Před rokem +2

    I like how Star Trek Picard Season 3 finally got good.. really good! So many 60,70,80+ Actors and Actresses .. pulling a whole show!
    Also interesting what they did with "the youth" in the show. Curious about the last episode, and how "the old people" will "save the young" generation.. The Next Generation, if you will XD

  • @scordeteyla
    @scordeteyla Před rokem

    Thank you :)

  • @energiesolaire5738
    @energiesolaire5738 Před rokem +1

    I would say that in your 20's you have a good physical strenght and you are more free to discover new things. Now, in your 20's you are mostly insecure, overthinking and have unreachable goals because you don't have enough experience and wisedom to know what really matters to you.
    Over 40, you become more confident, more decisive and you know what's acceptable and what is surely not. You are wise, you get to know you better and you have enough experience so people give you credit.
    So, in the end, you wish to have the body and youth essence that you had combined with who you are now. So you will be the perfect version of yourself.
    I don't say it's OK, I think that is just what is going on.

  • @chrissiem3958
    @chrissiem3958 Před rokem

    Andi MacDowell's words really got me, but mainly because Ive had her attitude since I was 18 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @_amelia_1
    @_amelia_1 Před rokem +1

    So refreshing to see this amongst all the other stuff out there putting paralysing pressure on everyone all the time

  • @juliannehannes11
    @juliannehannes11 Před rokem +1

    Have you heard the horror stories about menopause? All I hear is how much of a living hell it is and if I had the means and access to avoid it I sure as hell would offset it and it has nothing to do with looking young but about not going through that body horror hell. I'm 15yrs away from it and I'm terrified and hope to god there'll be anti menopause treatment by then.

  • @puidemare2337
    @puidemare2337 Před rokem +1

    it's so weird how western, "developed" countries view aging. It's sad, really. Many people are in denial about death, have no meaningful purpose in life, and have no sense of who they are. It values individualism, as opposed to collectivism . It's a wonder western societies are so lonely and depressed. I lost my mom to suicide at the age of 13. I've lived longer than she had a chance to live. Everyday I am grateful for another day on this earth. I live to honor a mother I lost and I cherish who I am and where I am in life. What a gift to have all the markings of all your time being alive, to deny that and erase it is so sad to me. I feel sorry for people who have such a hard time with living longer.

  • @LisaMariavanHarmelen
    @LisaMariavanHarmelen Před rokem +8

    I have anxiety of turning 30 for 6 years now and I hate it. I have 1,5 years left and I’m terrified. I hate it, because I don’t mind it, but other people are like “Oooh you are getting old”. It annoys me and yet I can not break free 😢

    • @kikithepupper6774
      @kikithepupper6774 Před rokem +5

      if I think about how I can be hot milf even around age 40 -50, I dont feel too bad lol. I am almost 30 as well

    • @chrissmarie455
      @chrissmarie455 Před rokem +2

      I am 31 you just have to let go of what people think, if someone else thinks 30 is old ( which is ridiculous) just remember some teenage thinks 25 is old too. Aging is a privilege.

    • @kikithepupper6774
      @kikithepupper6774 Před rokem

      @@chrissmarie455 that is true..!

  • @jjonsb
    @jjonsb Před rokem

    You can take that breath by stepping away from social media. At 31 I’m tired of constantly comparing and being compared. Basically I want to experience more real life moments more than shared ones.

  • @georgiarn3915
    @georgiarn3915 Před rokem

    I'm 47 and I am told I look 35 most of the time. But I am not vain enough to consider Botox or other cosmetic procedures. I think there is something to aging gracefully like Jamie Lee Curtis and Andie McDowell. I let my hair go grey over COVID and enjoy sporting my Lily Munster streaks! I try and take care of my skin, but I don't get obsessive about it or buy tons of high end products. I'm so glad I was a teen in the 90's and didn't feel additional peer pressure and insecurities due to social media. I feel so sorry for teens today and all they have to deal with in addition to the normal challenges of adolescence.

  • @robchuk4136
    @robchuk4136 Před rokem +1

    Notably, no mention of factors like how the body declines when you age, healthcare, or the way that can change lifestyles. The people who don't mind getting old are those who are financially well off. Easy to call the fear just a perception, while showing rich celebs who can afford everything they need.
    Meanwhile in the real world...

  • @thevirtualjim
    @thevirtualjim Před rokem +8

    The only 2 things i dislike about aging is that it brings me closer to death and I'd prefer to not have thinning hair (but im not gonna do anything about it lol)
    I'm right in the middle of GenX, and the only time I worried about my age was the last 6 months of being 29. However i also haven't hit a lot of the 'typical life milestones, or I didn't do them in the typical ways :)

    • @ReginoRamos-cs4qy
      @ReginoRamos-cs4qy Před rokem

      Have you a glass of red wine and say fuck it. It works for me hahaha think about it like this, younger people now a re going to turn old as well. We were there too it's our time to get older and wiser. Life keeps going God bless ❤❤❤❤❤

    • @Storm-iw7sm
      @Storm-iw7sm Před rokem

      You can die at any age baby. It doesn’t discriminate.

  • @lv67890
    @lv67890 Před rokem +1

    Frankly? I LOVE being a middle aged woman. My looks aren’t as important as my thoughts, now. It’s fantastic.

  • @alekadelacruz8592
    @alekadelacruz8592 Před rokem +1

    I love being old, I'm 33 now and I loved that I've learned some wisdom from doing stupid things in my younger years. Helped me make less stupid things now 😅😂

    • @Guillhez
      @Guillhez Před rokem +3

      ok, but if you’re 33 you’re objectively NOT old..

    • @HoudaOussous
      @HoudaOussous Před rokem

      33 old?

  • @vanessastegall
    @vanessastegall Před rokem +6

    Embrace it.

  • @thomaslyons441
    @thomaslyons441 Před rokem +1

    There's only one alternative to getting old.

  • @dondrap513
    @dondrap513 Před rokem +1

    Alternate title: how to lie to yourself.
    Also interesting is how the subject of how your health always breaks down over time isn't addressed. Being in pain all the time from failing joints etc is definitely not a state of mind influenced by culture.

  • @oniriamaar
    @oniriamaar Před rokem

    the one second frame of KORNBREAD!

  • @celestetoliver9031
    @celestetoliver9031 Před rokem

    I was astonished recently when I saw a TikTok about a girl who doesn't show facial emotion in order to prevent getting wrinkles... maybe it would be healthier to accept each age as it comes. Would sure save a lot of time and give you a chance to enjoy your life.

  • @moxiec6174
    @moxiec6174 Před rokem +1

    I’ve dealt with a lot depression and insecurity through out my twenties among other things but I feel a lot more secure in myself and happier (though my life isn’t perfect) now that I’m almost 30. I’ve noticed this with my friends too. People who aren’t cis men are taught to fear 30 and their late 20s but it’s actually been nice so far

  • @PureSparkles22
    @PureSparkles22 Před rokem +1

    The older I get, the more anxious I get

  • @coreycanham2330
    @coreycanham2330 Před rokem +2

    Literally me right now at 36 😅😢

  • @ReginoRamos-cs4qy
    @ReginoRamos-cs4qy Před rokem +1

    I'm 30 and I feel great. Drink red wine and give 0 fucks. We are all great no matter what age we are young old who cares. Let's be thankful to see tomorrow. There's more important things in the world than our age. ❤

  • @alzirarosa453
    @alzirarosa453 Před rokem +2

    Let's age!😊

  • @hunnybadger442
    @hunnybadger442 Před rokem

    First wives club... Is my anthem... It sucks it's absolutely impossible...

  • @andreasolano8248
    @andreasolano8248 Před rokem

    i like the fact that hellen mirrer an Glenn Close style in the medium

  • @Musicandfilms7
    @Musicandfilms7 Před rokem +7

    My mom is 81 and I'm 44, aging scares me not because of the way she looks like but because how limited she is when is comes to simple things such as walk a few blocks, cook for herself, take care of herself, it hurts me to see how miresable she is. She told me on her birthday that's she's angry that she can no longer do all the things she used to do, so excuse me but aging is not great it's horrible, it means losing your independance and I hope I don't live as long as my mother

    • @ishmamahmed9306
      @ishmamahmed9306 Před rokem +1

      My dislike of ageing as a health condition is so great that if a genie allowed me to redeem my wish to be biologically seven years old again anytime, I would wait until perhaps I was in my late sixties or early seventies to make myself biologically 7 years old again.
      That way, as an old man, I would get to enjoy the health, mobility and energy of being a young boy.

    • @rodb66
      @rodb66 Před rokem +2

      I'm 56 and my 97 year old mom just died 3 weeks ago. Just enjoy the time you have.

    • @Musicandfilms7
      @Musicandfilms7 Před rokem +1

      @@rodb66 I'm so sorry for your loss, hugs

    • @rodb66
      @rodb66 Před rokem

      @@Musicandfilms7 Thanks. She lived a long life but will be missed.

    • @WeneedmoreGodsinTshirts
      @WeneedmoreGodsinTshirts Před 9 měsíci

      Ageing does not mean losing your independence. Not everyone’s body declines as badly as your mum’s. Also she is very very old ageing is regarded as upwards of 30. Remember you’re not scared of becoming old you’re scared of becoming your mum

  • @ericsmusic5927
    @ericsmusic5927 Před rokem

    It's extremely weird where you put Leonardo
    He been aging pretty good

  • @jainee4507
    @jainee4507 Před rokem +1

    Aging is scary when you didn't hit those milestones earlier in life in regards to your dating and sexual life. It just isn't the same when your dating options are unattractive and unappealing to you, which sadly comes with age.

  • @maddyharvey7414
    @maddyharvey7414 Před 12 dny

    It is absolutely a cultural thing, because other cultures do not have the same disregard for elderly people, and as a result, ageing is not feared in the same way, because they hold wisdom and experience in high regard.

  • @jjonsb
    @jjonsb Před rokem +1

    Aging is a blessing the no one appreciates.

  • @Did.You.Forget
    @Did.You.Forget Před rokem +1

    Ive honestly been wearing a mask since the start of covid BECAUSE I can’t come to grips with aging.

  • @keishamorris5571
    @keishamorris5571 Před rokem +5

    There's are two people that lived to their nineties has showed me about what it is aged gracefully. Those two people are Phyllis Dillar and Betty White. Just live life to the full.

    • @lindildeev5721
      @lindildeev5721 Před rokem +1

      Also the old British actresses like Dame Helen Mirren: they're old but they are 200 % classier than all these pinups.

    • @keishamorris5571
      @keishamorris5571 Před rokem

      @@lindildeev5721 I wholeheartedly agree with you.

  • @alexanderzhukov3773
    @alexanderzhukov3773 Před rokem

    Love that scene from 30 rock 😅 would love to watch Girls revival where they all in their 40s now

  • @keithk2879
    @keithk2879 Před rokem +3

    HOW DARE YOU leave out Miss Jennifer Coolidge ! A plague on your house !

    • @olganova3058
      @olganova3058 Před rokem

      Yeah, she was supposed to be an intro ❤

  • @tyleryam9885
    @tyleryam9885 Před rokem +7

    Black people this video isnt about us. Black dont crack

    • @olganova3058
      @olganova3058 Před rokem

      That's true, black skin looks fantastic with it's reflective smoothness and glow (sorry if that sounds weird, I am from northern EU and don't meet you guys in here too often) and if I do, I can't get enough of its beauty 😭

  • @presentfuture7563
    @presentfuture7563 Před rokem

    Who's the woman in the animal print around 10:00? She's so familiar and it's driving me crazy

  • @johnpjones182
    @johnpjones182 Před rokem

    Emma Thompson is one of those women like Barbara Stanwyck and Marlene Dietrich who look more beautiful in their 60's than when they were younger. Vanessa Redgrave's another.

  • @aiswaryabersan7983
    @aiswaryabersan7983 Před rokem +4

    This vedios should shown to men that make fun of women that after 25 hit the wall no men will not attracted to you. Your life has reached the prime not succeeding forward

  • @louiseerbslisbjerg7854
    @louiseerbslisbjerg7854 Před rokem +6

    Martha's 81?
    Rudd in his 50's?
    Seriously?!
    It speaks volumes.

    • @xyincognito
      @xyincognito Před rokem +1

      about the cosmetic surgeries they have....

  • @fergusclarken8437
    @fergusclarken8437 Před rokem +3

    Selena Gomez makes 30 a young thing and best moment in life

  • @shanekajohnson1320
    @shanekajohnson1320 Před rokem +2

    Please do a video on the romanticization of time travel movies and tv. Not good for anyone Black or most women.

  • @dissection39
    @dissection39 Před rokem

    I have a strong goal to grow old gracefully.

  • @kikithepupper6774
    @kikithepupper6774 Před rokem

    If I can think about how I can be one of those badass grandma who wields the pistol like Annie Oakley, I don't feel too bad about getting old

  • @sailorspills3025
    @sailorspills3025 Před rokem

    I don’t know.. it seemed that I hated more than loved when I was young and beautiful

  • @PeanutStrawberry
    @PeanutStrawberry Před rokem

    Wait... if the midlife crisis is about worrying how much time we have left and what we've accomplished... did I get a midlife crisis at 28!? O.o"

  • @hunnybadger442
    @hunnybadger442 Před rokem

    My expiration date expired before I was even born...

  • @ComputerGeekOnTwoWheels
    @ComputerGeekOnTwoWheels Před rokem +11

    There are no joys with aging when sickness is involved. Who wants to grow old with failing parts of their bodies? You are missing the most important part of what aging really is. At a molecular level, aging involves the degradation of DNA strands that cause protein to be truncated and not properly function correctly to perform their cellular duties. What is wrong in battling aging medically and solve the problem with DNA damage? You need to differentiate between growing old with wisdom and growing old physically. Growing old physically will be won over soon enough and as far as growing old with wisdom, some of us like being a kid for life...

    • @ReginoRamos-cs4qy
      @ReginoRamos-cs4qy Před rokem +3

      Yes but get over it it's the way we were created. Nobody can change the aging process. It sucks yea but whining and complaining isn't going to make you any younger. All the younger people right now will age as well. Everyone has a turn in this aging process be thankfull that you live to see tomorrow some people don't. They're is more important things in the world than aging. That's normal. Drink you a glass of red wine if you are old enough and give 0 fucks.

    • @captlanc
      @captlanc Před rokem +3

      This video is about the obsession with 'looking youthful'. Try to grasp the theme. Besides, nobody can be a kid for life. Aging with wisdom is accepting the fact that *gasp* people age and then die.

  • @jadziawynter9241
    @jadziawynter9241 Před rokem +1

    First! ☝🏾🥇

  • @Ohboycommentsection
    @Ohboycommentsection Před rokem +1

    "Eighty percent of all deaths by suicide in the U.S. are among men and women age 45-54."
    So yeah...aging can suck

  • @mccod035
    @mccod035 Před rokem +2

    Gen X

  • @m.a.n.m.a.g
    @m.a.n.m.a.g Před rokem +1

    Women go through alot because of the beauty industry.
    It's like the industry somehow knows my girlfriends insecurities personally and exploits them.

  • @emilyplunkett6034
    @emilyplunkett6034 Před rokem

    I don't know what algorithm you're using to know that my geriatric Millennial ass is two days away from her 38th birthday; but I do know that I feel slightly called out right now. :p

  • @jessmith7324
    @jessmith7324 Před rokem +1

    I'd like to see or know who exactly furthers these stereotypes

  • @Biboche23
    @Biboche23 Před rokem

    Now they go after teenagers to sell this youth thing. The fact that nowadays 26-40 yrs old are being called old is insane to me because these are the prime time. There’s an obsession with this. Culture is to blame for that. And ive realized how men get so insecure with getting older that they really project this on women making you feel like your life is over at 30 which is so ridiculous 😂 love yourself inside out. Everyone journey is different. The way you handle growing old shouldn’t be all about looks but also finding time to see what’s actually good for your life happiness peace or whatever it is. Society told us for centuries what we’re supposed to be at a certain time but things change so much the world changes and we should create our own version of those life expectations without all the pressure or judgment of societal archetypes

  • @NovelNovelist
    @NovelNovelist Před rokem

    No, legit though, Leonardo Dicaprio...For well over a decade now I've thought he's one of the most extreme cases of someone aging and losing their looks. He was beautiful and hot as sh*t in his youth, but his looks withered FAST and he's just looked like a basic, middle-aged guy for many years now. And like, fine, that's just his life trajectory. It's a very extreme case of fleeting sex appeal though. I'd argue most people, ESPECIALLY in Hollywood, hold up a bit better for longer.

  • @HoudaOussous
    @HoudaOussous Před rokem +1

    Aging is a privilege... Not everyone had that chance

  • @joanageorge205
    @joanageorge205 Před rokem +4

    I don't think the new Hollywood trend is going in the right direction; neither is this take. There's a reason hedonism gets harder and harder to "pull off" past the age of 25: it's a juvenile value system that doesn't mesh well with reality. Old age is a lot easier to face if you stop conflating being impulsive and selfish in the name of fun with "living".

  • @luisa146
    @luisa146 Před rokem

    If you can't se beauty in the face of a old person than you know nothing about beauty

  • @auser2721
    @auser2721 Před rokem

    I wanted to grow up so bad because people treating you like shit, society full of ageists. Now I’m 18, I know, what to do with my life, but I regret wanting to grow up faster.
    You literally child, maybe enjoying a bit of your life, bur can’t wait to be older. And what for

  • @ishmamahmed9306
    @ishmamahmed9306 Před rokem +1

    Future generations will break free from ageing (or at least fast paced ageing) through technological progress.
    Through technological progress, may future generations achieve indefinite lifespans.
    It would be cool to see a world in which life expectancy were over a million years and in which people under the age of 100 would be considered children.

  • @DarylBaines
    @DarylBaines Před rokem

    Very old film about a woman aging: Shirley Valentine.