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How I Learned To Be Alone & What Happened | Meet Your Needs, Be Comfortable Alone, End Codependency
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- čas přidán 24. 08. 2022
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In this video, I talk about my personal experience of learning to be alone and not depending on a partner. This helped me to really get to know myself, what I needed, and what I desired. I talk about specific examples of the things I used to do and how little by little I learned to enjoy being on my own. Being self-reliant gave me an enormous amount of self-confidence and drive, which was a major turnaround in my self-development journey. I also discuss core wounds, how to meet your needs and be comfortable alone while you focus on your healing journey and end codependency. If I can do it, you can too!
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#MeetYourNeeds #BeComfortableAlone #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #PDS #ThaisGibson #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #SelfGrowth #HealingJourney #UnmetNeeds #AttachmentStyles
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I remember sitting in a webinar and you were all - figure out what you want a partner to do for you and do it for yourself. That was the inspiration for the solo Puerto Rico trip. I never thought I could do it, but I did!!! ❤️😎
I was going to do this and still kind of planning to. I'm pretty sure it will just be depressing, he should be on the trip with me.
@@mollysreadings4845 Sounds like a limiting belief that he's "should" be there. I trust the universe that what is happening is best for me.
@@amandaharris7205 that's an ok way to look at it.
You're amazing Amanda
Amandaaaaaaaa ❤
These videos finally did it. They finally made me, a fearful avoidant, want to officially change and become comfortable with myself and meeting my own needs. I’m going to start these courses.
Congrats! You got this. I'm going through a different method, therapy (still early in) but I gotta say the free part of these videos has been a huge help too. Hope your journey is a good one, you deserve to feel safe with yourself!
Same here 🤗,God I thank u again for the free you tube , internet and humans who share
1000% relate to the combination of give-give-give and then hold people at bay if they try to give back or get too close, and to how you'd be there for people to the nth degree when they were in need, but when you were the one in need they'd just think you were strong and could handle it.--FA
Thais, I've done both needs courses and they've been very helpful, for I grew up not being allowed to have any wants or needs. But the way you've explained in this video about the needs you had and how you filled them somehow takes it to another level of empowerment and excitement that I can do this and feel so much more stable. Thank you!
You can do this! So happy you liked this Virginia :)
It's hard to imagine anyone responding negatively to this kind of vulnerability. Perhaps a life lesson as well. Thank you for sharing
Covert Narcs absolutely love FA’s. They literally smell them out.🤭
@@karinteeples6517, Anthony Johnson, and fxrdr4
... and AP's, too.
Narcissists target our empathic, giving nature and our starvation for affection. They satisfy our Immediate needs then start the tweaking of the truth - gaslighting.
Never knowing myself bc of being so focused on others.. I don't know what I need.. I know I need comfort and achievement..to feel heard, reassured, and appreciated..appreciated for what ah doing for others.. 🙄 It's so hard putting myself first. It takes being honest with one's self, being responsible and all I want to work on is overwhelming. My dishes, laundry, organizing clutter.. my health, exercising. I get drained and overwhelmed thinking about it all. I don't know what to do with my life.. thank you for this video and the guidance. ❤
Hearing you is like hearing about me in the past .
Yes being alone gives us the chance to learn about who we are . When I became Christian it stated changing everything and help me to navigate the issues and learn how to embrace the weakness .
God bless you All !
It's not a "weakness", and quite the contrary. It's more just learning to deal with emotionally weak and manipulative people sometimes, and often what compells us to be more avoidant later on, though we definitely can take the opportunities to reflect and build ourselves up in those cases. As a christian it will certaintly open up time to study, etc
God appointment to these videos for a reason.The believer always just tell God do yes he and proving resources along the way.
Being alone has it's issues and Being in a relationship has it's issues 🙃 always a trade off . . Only difference is you can change yourself but not others .
Not “the only difference”… you can’t kiss yourself (and other things).
As an FA hearing you speak on things you did really makes me realize how much I do the same and how much these traits are really embedded as FAs.
The give give and superficial vulnerability, even thinking I could be alone because I have been alone for quite some time in the past when I decide I don’t want to be close to people and shut off….but it was being alone but still focused on so many external things and not giving to myself what I want from others.
I make it a point not to "should" all over myself or others. Thank you for all of your priceless information and experience Thais. You're such a blessing on so many levels.
It's amazing to take a break and focus on yourself. It's needed to not be distracted and heal those core wounds. This is a journey you have to do and you can become a better version of yourself and connect with yourself. I am going though this at the moment. Transformation.
Thais, you are a living example that healing IS possible! Thank you! 🙏 ❤️
This is an interesting one! we will get better at receiving things when we get better at giving it to ourselves!
Wow. Coincidence? I recognize so much of your story. And now I know what to do. Thank you.
This is where I am now and am investing in and designing my future life accordingly. So inspiring to be on the path and to see what is on the other side from someone who’s been there.
Absolutely loving these personal shares, Thais. Thank you so much. I look up to you!
I struggle a lot with limerence over my ex. It’s been two years and I’m completely not over him at all and he occupies my thoughts all the time. Existing in this way is absolute torture. Feels like such a waste of life. Your videos give me hope. ❤️
Your videos have changed my life over the last few years, thank you so much for doing what you do!
Great testimony, a lot of people need to hear that healing is possible, but you have to be willing to go through the discomfort.
Amazing! So important to get to know oneself. It’s never too late. Thank you for sharing! ❤
I think this idea of meeting your own needs is genius, I initially listened to your talks and finding it hard to believe, but as soon as I started applying it, I started to feel comfortable alone and more in a powerful position, as opposed to feeling needy. Thank you, Thais!
Thank you so much for vulnerably and authentically sharing your personal journey. 🙏 You are such a beautiful and courageous soul. 💖🦁
I love your personal shares. I'm an fa/ infj/ cptsd too and also on the road of recovery. Your videos have helped me so much. Forever grateful . X
Same here
Very insightful. I’ve been alone for over a decade. But I could still dig deeper and learn to understand and meet my needs better.
But then how do I find the motivation to seek a relationship with someone else when I can meet all of my own needs so well?
The longer I’m alone, the less desire I have to be with someone. This concerns me, but I don’t know why it’s concerning.
I'm in the same boat, I meet my own needs so well. I'm in the headspace where if it ain't broke don't fix it. The times I did try to let others meet my needs it went badly. I'm like nope, I'll be my own sugar mama from this point forward and it's been bliss. Life isn't always easy or perfect, but I rather be on the independent side than dependent side.
I've been single for over 3 years best 3 years of my life. Only problem I'm having is trying to let someone in as a FA when I love my aloneness
I find it fascinating how you are able to open up about yourself, your feelings , be vulnerable, have a mind & heart that learn so well about life & psychology etc.and strive to grow and become a good person, woman and to share your heart ,mind,&understandings with others.
❤
That, to me, is very giving in a powerful way and special & I am greatfull for your kindness beautiful woman Thais Gibson. 🙏🏼
Omg this hit so deeply and many elements are exactly my story including psych degree except I stayed married to my 17yo boyfriend for many, many years in a toxic relationship and had 3 kids. I am still working on healing and overcoming my FA leaning anxious tendencies, was alone during COVID for 2 years doing a lot of inner work, had the closest to a healthy relationship for 2 years that we ended mutually and amicably and now am starting a relationship with a DA consciously from my and his perspectives.
Thais, thank you for your important work. This has resonated more with me than anything else on attachment 🙏🏻
Presentation of strength part - yes. Don’t really want to depend on anyone and left helpless, so as an FA I would pretend to be strong but surely was not.
Receiving both from ourselves & others is a big one. Good video again :)
YOU ARE SO ADMIRABLE!!!Every word you speak is me!! I have learned so much from you! I finally feel like I am not crazy or always thinking what is wrong with me! Thank you so much.
Thank you Thais. Amazing share. Feels empowering and inspiring to hear your story. I'm a member of the school, I love it and you are helping me learn to connect to myself, at last!! I'm so grateful ❤️
I love this!! Thank you for sharing your personal story. Very helpful!
Your words are golden nuggets 💖💖
I'm on the same journey. Though I do have someone I'm interested in my life, but it's super long distance. Which I am somewhat happy about cause it'd be much harder to keep my distance from them and focus on myself. Definitely noting what my needs are and how I can show up for myself in that way... Super interesting to think about.
This is wonderful. 👏🏾 Thank you Thais for sharing your journey!
Thank you for sharing. This is so helpful. It brings all of the teaching together.
Love this Thais...thank you for your vulnerability ❤️
This is so relatable and hopeful- thank you 🙏🏼
Thanks so much for this Thias. The personal stories have been so helpful.
That you for this truly the best gift I’ve come across when I needed it
Thank you for being a model for vulnerable sharing. You're so brave and admirable.
I LOVE this video!! It's extremely powerful and inspiring! Thank you so much!❤❤❤
Funny, I've been reaching this exact same conclusion lately after watching your videos and working with my needs, boundaries, understanding my core wounds... and suddenly there's a video on it :) I love synchronicities. Thank you Thais! You're so wonderful, you truly changed my life.
You are describing what I am currently going through. Thank you for sharing!!!!!
This was very helpful. I love that you talk from your perspective, it makes things so relatable
So good. You're showing me how I am to think and go through the courses and why they are so important. Really love these story videos. Would love to see you talk about your relationships.
You have very much help you loads watching this has began to change my life thank you 🙏
Thank you. This video is appearing right when I need it.
Love this! 💕 Thank you for sharing parts of your journey.
It’s very inspiring to me cause I would like to go on a healing journey myself and be more intentional with my life and relationships 🦋.
VERY helpful info! Thanks for giving real life examples from your own experiences in order to clarify certain points. Very. Good!♥️🌟🌟
Thank you for sharing, very inspirational.
Thank you so much for this ! It’s so life changing! ❤❤❤
This is such helpful advice for me. Thank you!
I have been single 16 years and don't know how to even begin letting someone back in.
So glad this popped up on my feed!
This is your best and my favorite video of ALL your videos!!!
Amazing honesty from the heart. This has inspired me to try living for myself and finding the joys loves limitations and journey that suits me and not society. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. I "let people in" and gave people chances many times in life just to be let down. I had to deal with the destruction afterwards and I'm like it ain't worth all that. When I see someone with toxic behaviours (i.e. gossipy, backstabbing and a cutthroat) I'm not gonna expect them to meet my needs, yet alone trust them. Infact I stay away. When they show I can't trust them and they do things to show I can't trust them, in those situations I'm glad I listened to my gut. Then it all clicked for me (even seeing my social media numbers grow), when I give to myself, the world follows. I personally prefer to be alone, hang out with people sometimes and I love love love my space. I've had guys show interest, but I'm like nah, I make a better friend and auntie. But good luck to my fellow FAs on here looking for love, I believe in you. ❤ And thank you Thais for providing a course like this. (For an education, and to get perspectives outside my own, I may try the trial, at this point I meet all my own needs so that part got my attention.) I noticed angel number 777 in the form of likes on this, and since I've been seeing angel numbers a lot. Somehow I think the spiritual guides led me to this video. ❤
Really great video, thank you SO much for sharing your personal experience! It must be so gratifying to help so many people, really appreciate all your efforts
Fantastic Video--Thank you for sharing. So Authentic.
Thank you for sharing your journey, Thais ❤
This is great Thais, I watch this video often for inspiration ❤
Your content is gold! Thank you for empowering us with this infomration and own examples ❤
Yes. Fear of dependence ❤
I appreciate your sharing to help us be introspective about our similar patterns.
When you speak of reconditioning or reframing through emotion, can you express more about that.
As FA who also leaned AP, I relate to a lot of what you say and yes the tough shell to avoid vulnerability is 100% smthg I still do
I just found this video. It's like Thais found my journal and read it out loud. I need to learn more about her courses.
Thank you for sharing your journey
You explained my
Life when it comes to relationships
thank you somuch for sharing all these
Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you Thais for sharing your story I could relate to alot of what you have gone through especially being the giver and too vulnerable. This gives me hope as Im learning what I need to give myself so I can heal from my codependent habits.
Thank you for the educating me and also inspiring
Thank you for this ❤
Thanks Thais. I will join your school when my financial situation is a bit stronger.
I appreciate u sharing this 😊,I'm not afraid to be along but I not showing up for myself .You just gateway me to my next break out
This is so good
Thanks for the content 💖
thank you thais for sharing this with us🤩❤
This was so me. I love this video!!
This channel is soooo inspiring GOD bless you
Thank you so much for sharing it was so helpful to me 😮❤
Wow this video helped me so so much
Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to your story and it has helped me in this moment. I was lacking direction and not sure what to do next. I feel like I keep repeating lessons and making the same mistakes.
This feels like information that I don't even know if I could find easily,let alone be able to afford the precious councilor.
You are giving this invaluable information with So much heart freely to help people ❤
Thank you for this ♥️
Thanks for sharing this and I think I need the course because I need much more. I struggle with knowing what "truly knowing myself or being comfortable with myself" is always surface.
HOLY COW! I just go easy on myself and others. Try lemon balm tea for complete relaxation. Never stop trying to better yourself and your situation. Help your partner to see the light and work together. NOW, if I can find miss right LOL
This is me..... Grateful for your video.
Was abandoned a week old, been by myself ever since.
I hope your school goes really well no cap
Thais Thank You for sharing
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s important for me to feel like a coach has been through the topic they are helping you with than just an A student in college whose only connection with your struggle is what they philosophize from a textbook.
It’s true, no one knows what it feels like to be in a foxhole unless they’ve sat in one.
So what if you're actually tired of meeting your own needs and take care of yourself because that's what you've been doing all your life?
Let go of the control. The fear. I'm saying this to myself too!
Thank you for sharing. Would you be able to share about your experience with CPTSD please?
Ive said it before, but I LOVE THIS SERIES
Thank you🙏🏽
Thank you 💕
This was so helpful. I had my first dating experience with an AP. I'm a recovering FA. I IMMEDIATELY sensed the mask, the people pleasing, and mirroring behaviors. I give them nothing to pretend to be. I even explicitly stated that love bombing doesn't work on me because that level of emotional intensity and attention legit triggers me. 1 because it is suffocating. 2. Because I am informed an know the signs of dysfunction now. He tried it anyways.
He tried to call me out and say I had BPD because I wouldn't give him attention while I was out watching football with friends. Of course this triggered my abandonment issues. It made me question my behavior. I am very reflective and willing to take ownership, probably too much.
But this level of disregulation and attention seeking after 1 date was insane. Watch out for these people.
Your story is so much like mine. But I am also introverted so I need lots of space. At this point I prefer to be alone and am not even interested in adding a relationship to my life.
You're not alone in this. I love my alone time so much. I'm also the only child, so my space is a must. I make a great friend, but I also think I'm better off by myself. In the relationship I was in a while back, the guy didn't understand that I wanted to still be my own person and keep my interests. The last thing I want is to be suffocated. Life isn't easy or perfect, but at this point I rather meet my own needs and be independent. The different times I did let people in ended up being nightmares and I'm like nope, not going down these paths no more.
Great share👏👏👏👏
Thank you.