Grandiose Female Narcissist and Fake Friends
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- čas přidán 10. 12. 2021
- Hey, Survivor!
When it comes to narcissistic abuse, patterns matter and context is everything. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, it's important to prioritize your health and well-being. Here, I'm sharing 6 signs of a grandiose female narcissist or fake friend. This will help raise your awareness and sharpen your discernment, so you can more easily identify, navigate, and heal from these toxic relationships.
Know who you're dealing with. Know who you are.
💚Lesley
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#narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #mentalhealth #heal #trauma #loneliness #boundaries #retaliation #traumainformed #thevibrantsurvivor #thevibrantsurvivorpodcast #podcaster #friendinyourheadfriday
When they get close they dump on you to blame and be victims to drain energy. They never give genuine support. They are always competitive.
Being someone's emotional trash can, in a one-sided relationship, that includes unwanted [secret] competition is draining! Thanks for watching and commenting!
Sounds familiar
The draining you often only feel after don't you find? Vampires
I have a friend that I like very much on some levels. BUT … the conversation always revolves around her, and if interject in a normal conversational way, she talks over me, LOUDLY. It can be so draining. She also claims to be an empath. Hmmm 🤔 .
@cheese cheese Hi! Thanks for watching and sharing!
Talking over is a dead give away. I have no tolerance for people who do monologues😊
Could be Autism Adhd Spectrum
When she kept trying to sabotage. I'd tell her I liked someone and she went out of her way to get with them. I brought someone around she'd befriend them behind my back and not mention a word.
Hi! Just seeing your comment. You get how insidious narcissistic abuse can be. You're not alone. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Sounds like an ex friend of mine. I walked away and when she realized I wasn't playing her game, she drug me through the mud.
Yep. You described it perfectly. And they want everyone to like them but no one to like each other. They don't want you to be friends with anyone else.
You're describing my covert narc sister! It's Unbelievable
How naieve people are & how they fall for it! But I guess they are 'masters' @ flattery & giving attention etc.
I mean I fell for it; so they are good.😂 Till the mask slips.
When it's ur oldest friend its so so aweful. & when they do it an occasion important to you
& do the whole thang together:
Discard; no empathy; extreme ENTITLEMENT; stonewalling; word salad & silent treatment
Then later - no accountability
You realise they are not quite human. I Mean
0 care for what they do at the time
Or do afterwards to make it right.
Monsters.
The “praying for you” texts is also the way they secretly want you to feel smaller, like there is something you need to fix and I will pray for you… Learnt that.
Hi! Great point about narcissists using prayer texts as a form of devaluation with religious rhetoric. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Yeah it's like you sinners you need us holy in this world to survive😅 They always end their text with God bless u, Blessings
@@TheJoyofCooking24 Right?!?! Lord help us all...LOL! Thanks for watching and sharing!
💯
Yes! And also "I bless you", like, giiiirl...😄
That's the thing about narcissistic friendships vs relationships. Relationships can burn hot and fast and the abusive cycle is immediately evident but the trauma bond is formed. Friends can bread crumb the crap out of you for years and God forbid (but it's actually a blessing) that you face a traumatic event and you lean on that narcissistic friend only to be abandoned them. But hindsight is 20/20 and all the signs were there in the friendship. It's just that we were not educated on narcissism.
Great insights! Knowledge and language/terminology are power. Thanks for watching and sharing!
This has just happened to me! She love bombed me at first, acted like my best friend, then suddenly ditched me when I went through something traumatic. It has been a really horrible experience but I had doubts about her initially which I dismissed as I was lonely and I couldn't put my finger on why I felt doubts. I'll know for next time. Glad I'm not alone.
So true! I realized after 14+ years of friendship
Yes exactly a narcissist I know immediately formed a friendship fast with me we worked together but still she formed it quickly as time went on I got to her personal life and she never apologized for her behavior and what she did to people in her life she said she cheating on her man and blaming him why it wasn’t working out with them I was there at times caring for her but she never appreciated my friendship with her so it was just to much I cut her out of my life because I knew after I got rid of her she wasn’t going to change in her behavior this will be continuing and ongoing they don’t change plus there so toxic we deserve better.
Gosh that's a big one as an ACON (adult child of narcissist).
With mother: coldness. No emotional
Free giving of love: a feeling I needed to Earn it.
Taking over my wedding & cutting my cake
Driving out 2 neighbours.
Driving away new minister...
Who had a breakdown
Going for jugular when she found out I was one of Kindest girls @ school.
Then I'd find out I was being bullied.
Her bragging about having been a school bully to me & Dad (no empathy - as ee both were bullied)
Setting up competition between us 4 siblings.
Being vile about eldest sister.
Highly vindictive : (said to me!)" I'll show her what it's like for a mother to have a child who dislikes her!" About older sister
Next I find out..
From older sis:"
She literally
Stole away her own & only daughter (my niece)
Highly charming. Very involved as a church elder!!
But her bible was literally unread!!
Snobby about friends.
Excluding me intellectually when sitting with her & Dad.
Set me up to fail.
Hated any success I had.
LOVED to see me struggle with friendships
Got the narc snear of pleasure.
Still manages to make me feel guilty.
If any adult child did Anything to upset her CONTROL...
Punishment for eg said to ex GChild brother
"You're no longer my son"
Charming in social situations.
Growing up
All social invites were to HER friends
When Dad & us would just have to go along.
Never any play with her growing up / ever heard her even Sing.
We got that luckily from my enabler sweet darling Dad....luckily !!
Passing on the traits to others.
Like those she almost groomed
So now
We have 2 new ones.
My niece & my younger sis.
As you can see...loads.
& the sister is another long story of deception
As she's more Covert & poor me
Victim.
My mother's a
Psycopathic😢 covert Malignant is there such a thing. 😂😮
❤all love &
Power to all recovering.
God sees all.
He strengthens the abused & broken hearted...so so much.
This one "friend" I always had a pit feeling about but still told her all my personal business (I've learned my lesson). But it wasn't just the feeling; there was another lady who we worked with who was going through an abusive situation with her husband. The friend was friends with her too and would tell all of her business to everyone that would listen. One day she was telling more of her business to me and right then and there the feeling became overwhelming inside of me and I had a realization; she talks about me like this to other people. Ever since then I distanced myself from her and before I knew it, she had quit the job. The universe removed her for me and after that I just blocked her.
It's a beautiful thing, when you realize who and what you're dealing with. Always trust your gut. And congratulations on your freedom from your "friend." Thanks for watching and sharing!
yes its that gut feeling that something is off or left to be desired when u interact with them. You might not have the education about npd but energetically u can feel something aint right but u cant put your finger on it. Its your soul trying to tell u u are interacting with a counterfeit human/soulless one…
Your gut is your second brain. Always trust your gut!
💯👍
BINGO
10 seconds in and the water brought me calmness
Hi! I'm so glad to hear this. It needs rebalancing; and I need cooler temps. I'll get back out there soon. Thanks for watching and commenting!
I have had many female friends like this. They really do all have the same patterns of behavior.
Yes, they do. Thanks for watching and sharing!
They always act depressed when you're happy,and happy when your sad.
YES!!! And they want you to react either way. Narcissists can't regulate their emotions; and they love to control yours. Thanks for watching and sharing!
My best friend of 18 years finally went too far this year. She’s “going through major depression” and wanted me to drop everything to come to a dinner party she arranged “with some friends at my house tonight”… I have 2 kids in sports. I said no I’m good, let me know when you have time for a 1:1. SHE MELTED DOWN
I grew up with a narcissistic mother. My first marriage was to a narcissist. It wasn’t until 2 years ago I started learning. And a few months ago she went to far and it was like the last 18 years of signs came crashing down on my head like a sheet of glass. She’s a mess and she wants me to be a mess too, and when I’m not - when I’m well or I set a boundary she loses it. She discarded me off and on in the last 6 months and then I got the “Hi I miss you” this morning at 6am. I said “me?!?!” And that was 12 hours ago. No response
LOL gurl probably fished that same message to 5 other women.
Sounds like you've got your "friend's" number, and you're navigating her narcissistic behavior accordingly. This "relationship" isn't worth sacrificing your health and wellbeing. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I feel your pain beneath the words. Me too
With a narc mother.
These darned coverts...
They are so shape shifting SNEAKY.
I'm leaning totally on God now to show me...as they're Way WAY
Too slippery
Proverbs 2 : verses 11
To 15.
@@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih Happy New Year! Yes, they're slippery and wisdom is key. You know that God cannot be mocked. Narcissists inevitably SLIP UP and expose themselves. Thanks for watching and sharing!
This was a good one ...I actually work for a tech company full of these people. And it’s exhausting. The constant one-upmsnship. I’m starting to think that these types of people thrive in big tech. Our founder was narc. But everything is about these elaborate sales pitches. With Largely made up results. I worry that if I stay too long I’ll become these people.
Lots of companies (not just tech) are narcissistic safe havens and toxic. And it is exhausting to navigate these environments, while trying to do your best work. Take care of your health, and stay true to yourself. Thanks for your support!
I wonder if working from home wouldn't be safer even though it sounds isolating.
Cruel, short sighted and downright heartbreaking. I was lovebombed to the point of partial blindness. The discard has me in therapy and currently very confused. Thanks for yhe content and the share. Youre great!
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Glad you're in therapy, which can help to bring clarity to the situation. I'm glad you're finding my content helpful. Thanks for watching and for your kind words!
Off topic, that fountain is so calming.
It really is...when it's working. It's currently out of order. 😞
@@iamlesleycain Aaaaaw. Its still pretty though.😊
I once knew a woman who also had married a professional athlete then when they divorced kept his name. I met her after leaving the narc partner so knew the signs of narcissism; I went no contact, so that friendship luckily didn’t last long. She was very self absorbed so pretty easy to spot as a narc
Good eye! There's so much insecurity in those circles. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I’d noticed fake grandiose narcs at work once I started learning about it. One fake friend ask for a friend request on FB, and included me in stocking gift giving. But never gave personal comments or compliments when I did great things at work or something pretty to my hair. Nor ask how are my kids, or wish me Happy Birthday when someone made me a cake. Though married, She vied for the men’s attention and always pushed her agenda. During a recent work-dinner event she spoke but didn’t personally engage or interact. I stopped participating in the Xmas gift exchange, and social media. I really don’t care to no longer do that. This was my explanation to her. I remain cordial, and doubt if it’s affecting her one way or another. I’m just glad I clearly recognize B clusters.
Sounds like you're navigating some messy waters at work with clarity and boundaries. Stay strong and focused!
@@iamlesleycain Thank you
Work place is full of them because it is supposed to be competitive. I am not sure where someone can live comfortably without dealing with narcissists. I noticed that even church is full of them because of the competition. We need to pray for protective shell.
Great work here. This is effective in helping survivors to see the patterns that come to light with all narcissistic abusers. Once people are familiar with the red flags they can start healing and knowing how to avoid these monsters. 🙏
Knowledge is power. Thanks for watching and commenting!
My friend was just like this the generic text msgs and when you don’t respond they panic and think something is wrong because you didn’t respond. Start calling because of it, when they don’t want anything. They just want to keep reminding us their still around.
Hi! Great insights. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I believe and been told I'm a highly sensitive Empath. Therefor when I see the traits of a Narcissist (Jezebel) - I do and will cut them out like a hot potato (otherwise the vulnerability in "timing" my excuse or get caught up in further drama, if not pay a price by sticking around) We are human and have our moments ....
Hi! Once you understand who and what you're dealing with, you can spot the pattern of behavior in others; and leave them where you met them. Thanks for watching and commenting!
Because I’ve gone no contact with the primary narcissist in my life Ive gotten stronger and more able to see this trait in other relationships. I’ve had to just cut some people off which makes me wonder if I too am narcissistic but for the sake of my continued healing I cannot allow parasitic opportunists to drain me.
Hi! Thanks so much for watching and sharing! Sounds like you've done a lot of deep work, and disconnected from key relationships in your life that were toxic. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to think and act like narcissists, in order to navigate these abusive relationships. Leave them where you met them, and continue on your healing journey. Have a safe, happy, healthy new year!
The thing about narcissists is they’re not able to see, necessarily, how they treat other people, and how it affects other people, so you can’t be a narcissist because you see how their behavior hurts you and other people. Be comforted, because you are not a narcissist!!
Had more than one friend like this. But one specifically still upsets me because she was very malignant and focused on me. I still don't know what I did to set her off, she almost seems to have had it out for me from the moment she saw me and decided to be a frenemy instead of just an enemy. Usually I don't think of her, unless I run into her; but then I tend to fixate on the situation and try to figure out what in the world I did to deserve that kind of treatment and why I didn't see her for what she was sooner.
Hi! Sounds like you felt targeted, disrespected, devalued, under the guise of “friendship.” And, although you no longer deal with her, you’re like, “What was THAT all about?!?” Seems like she was insecure, bitter, envious, and coveting something you possess (qualities, opportunities, connections, or material items, perhaps?). Please try not to waste your valuable time and energy ruminating over this woman’s toxic behavior. You will probably never pin her down for a deep talk, or get the truth, or an apology, even if you confront her. She may not even know why she’s behaving that way. A narcissistic family background, no/low boundary training, and/or a co-dependent parent may have contributed to your inability to see this woman (and possibly others in your life) for who and what they are. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Happened to me and it traumatized me. It's like shaking the hands of the devil. They end up showing you who they are.
This info is so true! All facts!!
Hi, Kimberly! Thanks for watching!
Excellent message that I learned a lot from…. But your AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS fountain in the background kept stealing my attention! ❤
Glad you found it informative; and that you enjoyed the fountain. Thanks for watching and commenting!
Thank you for sharing this. I walked away from a superficial "friendship" earlier and i was able to tell her word for word in the end that she didn't deserve my friendship. "I'm busy" was her motto and I was not willing to be around anyone who made me feel less than who I am or that their time was more valuable than mine. She's a famous CZcamsr and a few weeks ago I noticed she had nothing to say to me when I asked her for her support and her feedback on a tv appearance I did.
She was too busy to pour into me and reciprocate my kindness and my support of her.. It was always about her and her "brand". She often didn't reply to my messages and when she did, she kept it short. She comes across as though her fame of 700,000 is more important than actually nurturing a real friendship with me. I said my goodbyes today
Thanks for sharing 💜
You're welcome. Thanks for watching!
Throwing people away, this was the first sign in my marriage.
So cruel and shortsighted. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Narcissistic friends will discard you out of the blue.
Yes, they will. And not just you. Most of their friendships and relationships are unstable. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Thank you so much🌹❤️
You're welcome! And thanks for watching!
Wow. Yes. Had never dealt with anyone like this lady. A co worker. She was 11 years older than me. She knew I had a soft heart for older people and she sucked me in and it was a horrible experience. She was very aggressive and a bully. I tried to respect her even tho she was wearing me out with her narcissist behavior and very moody ways. Then when I took a stand she got mad at me, stopped talking to me and blocked me on fb and blocked my number like I was some sort of animal after all I did for her. I was so hurt. It was horrible. Horrible. They suck the life out of you then discard you like trash. Later I started hearing stories from other co workers about what they experience with her too. She is a trip. Smh...but God delivered me from it all
So sorry that happened to you! Sounds like you weren't the only one who had a bad experience with this difficult person. Glad you were able to get validation from other co-workers sharing their experiences. There is healing in community. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I feel so bad for u. Dont worry u are surely not alone. I went thru the EXACT! same thing with a male covert narcissist. fake jealous “friend”. I was uneducated about npd at the time but in hibdsight all the signs were there I just wasnt paying attention and didnt know what to look for. I could sense he was a little jealous of me but I didnt know it was a whole dam disease. At one point I started to sense he was a little scumbaggish so I tried to distance myself from him. Narcissist never just leave your life peacefully. Him and another toxic jealous of me individual ran a nasty online smear campaign on me cause they thought that would sabotage my life but it backfired on em and made me way more succesful. They say the narc cycle is love/friend bomb then devalue them discard but really its love/friend bomb then devalue and at that point u may not be educated about npd but your gut is tryin ta tell u this is a lowlife and u try and distance yourself or they are about to discard… NARCISSIST SMEAR CAMPAIGN COMING DOWN THE PIKE! It NEVER! fails with them! they gonna start spreading lies about u and staining your good name to anybody who will be dumb enough and gullible enough to listen to them. They will take out of context something u said or did and twist that and remix it with a whole lotta lies. Being evil and manipulative lying by omission. Twisted truths, half truths and whole lies. smh
Thank you for watching and sharing. We can use these painful lessons as fuel for our bright futures; and put the narcissists in our rear view mirrors.
Hi Lesley, I am new here, thank you for sharing. I am in a strange situation that is new for me and confusing. Me this lady who lives out of state, thankfully, and over a 5 week period of time, has blown up my phone all hours of day and night, numerous texts. She is a live in nurse and all I have heard is gossiping, bad things about her patient, her friends, all negative. Hijacking conversations, they call them conversation narcissist I learned. Never even asked how I am doing, I would not answer a lot and she would leave long voicemails all about how she is the victim, her job on shaky ground, could we perhaps team up to share expenses and I declined. Began putting my friends down she didn't even know, critical of my choices, decisions, which I didn't allow her to get by with because I know about narcissist behaviors and Began early suspecting this to be the case. I gave benefit of doubt and I am empathetic by nature, so I listened and tried to help her. Then she started sending me hugs amounts of groceries, clothes because I am recovering eye surgery and this felt uncomfortable and I begged her to stop and she finally did. I couldn't help but realize she did this in order to have me become indebted to her in the future. I appreciate it but this was off the charts! Then, the delusional behavior began and is bizarre. Paranoid delusions with so much detail. Every time i talked to her it was verbatim, creepy. She tried to run all over me and couldn't do so, and to make me aware that I was being watched also. Very creepy indeed. 5 week time period. 2 days ago I told her I couldn't listen to any of it anymore because it was messing with my mind. Shr claims to be a Christian as I myself am, but Lesley, I feel something demonic involved here. I feel for her patient. Well I haven't heard from her since I told her I wanted to stop listening which is a good thing, I may never hear from her again, but I feel its silent treatment to punish me, she has backed away when she didn't like it when I stood up and set boundaries. Thanks for listening. I would appreciate any feedback because I find it is difficult to get this situation out of my mind
Very strange! God Bless!
I hope your eye is healing. And I'm so sorry that's happened to you. Sounds toxic; and that healthy boundaries are needed with this person. Trust your gut. Thanks for watching and sharing!
@@iamlesleycain Thank you 😊
When I was with my ex he said " If the phone ain't ringing, its me..". Discarding and ghosting reference... This tipped me off on who he was.... They will tell you who they are..
I have to say, when I would talk about what happened to me in the relationship, I probably sounded like the narc... So much better now with time and healing... Thank you for this video. No rea connection is such a key point...
P
Hi, Katrina! Yes, they will tell you exactly who they are; and they will do it with a [false] sense of pride. It's so important to observe, listen, and believe them, when they reveal these critical pieces of information to you. Thanks for watching and sharing your insights!
I had a long time friend of 20 years who I thought I was close with do a silent discard on me. Which was very weird, because I hadn't changed at all. I was still the same person I always was, but he got laid off at a job and the company kept me (we were working in the same place) and after that he became very bitter and sour on me. It seems he thought we were in a secret competition or something, which I wasn't aware of at all.
It helps to view this as their problem, not yours. Narcissists aren't human. Yes, they inhabit human bodies - but they are the furthest thing from a human being. They are machine-like programs inhabiting a human body.
Hi! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sounds like your "friend" felt hurt/rejected by the layoff and couldn't handle your continued employment with the company. And that's not your fault or problem. You deserve to be successful in all areas of your life. Thanks for watching and sharing!
@@iamlesleycain Thank you for the reply! I'm not sure if he's actually a narcissist, but the fact that he took that so personally makes me think he is. The one time I was doing "better" than him in his entire life probably drove him insane with envy/jealousy.
I suspect he was probably a covert narcissist.
I remember before the discard, I asked him for a ride to the dealership to pick up my car and during the ride I could feel very intense negative energy coming from him. I never ever felt anything like that before, even though our conversation was very surface level stuff. I could just feel his hatred for me beneath all of that.
I'm glad I haven't spoken with the guy in almost 5 months. I'll keep my distance permanently if he tries to hoover me back in.
Good luck on your channel growth!
@@3nigma2013 Thanks for sharing and for your encouraging words!
I have removed my narc best friend from all social media and have stopped replying to her texts. She hardly ever reaches out to me but now that she knows I’m on to her she will leave a voicemail text and try FaceTiming me within minutes of each other. And is leaving messages saying she’s “concerned” . I know she is doing this to use my past mental health issues against me ( I’ve been doing the inner work for years and have healed with the help of therapy). Should I respond to her? She keeps saying if I don’t reply she’s going to stop by to check on me. I don’t want her hateful self in my home any longer.
Hi! She doesn’t sound like a real friend. Do you want to respond to her? And why? Prioritize yourself and protect your mental health by setting your boundaries. Thanks for watching and welcome!
I hope you told her via text that she is definitely not welcomed to come your home. . .ever. Then block her again. You must protect yourself from this abuser.
I am not tolerating grandiose narcissistic people especially those that hurt children to get their way either and I am an empathic person that is just standing my ground and I am not being with anyone besides my kids. I do know some people that are like this though.
I know mothers like this, its heart breaking. Giving their kids the silent treatment, never communicating a problem, making them feel bad all the time for being human. It destroys families and I could never imagine being a part of that.
I know someone is in my personal space my business too much worrying about my money or you don't need another pair of sneakers I'm always walking on eggshells with this person she can be quite insulting putting me down
I say that some bit it was from being put down by not so good friends. I realized I deserved better. Didn't realize my worth.❤ still working on it.
Yes!!! Know your worth. Such a valuable lesson, after narcissistic abuse. Thanks for watching and sharing!
A friend of over 20 years, didn’t know I was being exploited.
Wow...I'm sorry that happened to you! Wishing you a safe and healthy new year. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Thank you
You are so beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for watching!
@@iamlesleycain love your videos! ❤️ glad I found your channel. Very important information! And I like your voice. Blessings and love from Sweden 🇸🇪🥰
Even after 38 yrs, I know why my wife won't remember my birthday, not that she can't...just part of the symptoms.
Hi, Michael! Thanks for watching and sharing. That sounds hurtful. What do you think your wife's trauma and memory loss concerning your birthday stems from?
Ms Cain, I wish I knew, but it stems from before I met her. You closed in summary about the surfacy and shallowness, the fakeness, and not sharing intimacy (or real togetherness). The scars on both her wrists say the unsaid. I am left feeling like a paper coffee cup; useful when its full, diposable, but not given a second thought until she needs refill. I find your insight into the female side of toxic friends helpful and informative, as I can see what you have pointed out, it happens with my spouse. I've been trying to help her realize the depth of her denial, largely without success though because she seems to thrive on the drama, trauma and chaos, which her toxic friends add to by either keeping her in it or trying to drag her down with them. Thank you for your time and for sharing your experience.
Sounds like a lonely, frustrating indication of a very painful past. So sorry. Thanks again for watching and sharing!
My boyfriends mother is a complete toxic female narcissist who is moody, defiant, aggressive and jealous towards other females; and is an expert at emotional manipulation the only one who can see through her bullshit and can’t manipulate is me, when I call it out she plays the victim role very well. The women is an insecure, unhappy hater. Distance and silence is truly golden if your soulmates mother is anything like this.
Hi! Great insights! Sounds like you know exactly who and what you're dealing with; and have boundaries in place to protect your health and well being. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I sustained a permanent scar from being with a female narcissists.
Female narcissists are very manipulative, especially when it comes to emotions. Thanks for watching and commenting!
3:57 "Praying for you." Translation 'Obsessing' over you.
Hi! Great insight. I think she was obsessed with getting a response/attention from any of the many people that she texted. But she was missing *connection*. Thanks for watching and commenting!
praying for you = I am morally superior to you and I am here to remind you of that.
WOW!!!!!!!
IKR?!?! Thanks for watching and commenting!!!
I had a narc friend who even warned me that they were shallow and don’t do deep friendships.
Hi! They know what's up, and they'll warn you too. And some will watch and wait for your reaction when they "leak" these truths about themselves. It's like they're low-key waiting for you to figure them out; but they secretly hope you stay for the wild ride and meet their needs. Thanks for watching and sharing!
On one side they do helpful/nice things, but on the other side something feels off. I ended up going no contact💯
Yes! Narcissists will do things to infiltrate, endear themselves to you, and appear useful. But it's not really for/about you. It's for/about them getting their needs met. So, it does feel "off." Sounds like you prioritized your well-being, set a clear boundary, and removed yourself from a toxic situation. Thanks again for watching and sharing!
@@iamlesleycain Thank you so much for your feedback! Excellent video!
Lol 😂 I know a woman like this and I'm.umable to tolerate it anymore...
Sounds like it's time to set boundaries and pursue healthy relationships. Thanks for watching and sharing!
👍👍🔥🔥🔥🔥
not a narrcissist, just soccially in_appropriate, and big eggo. big eggo is not a sociopath!
Socially inappropriate. Biologically on-point, from a trauma-informed perspective. Trauma does fuel narcissistic behaviors. And I'm sure she's experienced plenty and dished-out plenty. When someone's trauma becomes your drama, that's problematic. Fortunately, she won't be serving up anymore trauma or drama to those who figured out who and what they were dealing with...for years. Thanks for watching!
The text message was to take your energy. The parties was to feel important. They use you to regulate thier emotions. They need people to feel important. They never take responsibility for anything they do. Even if ex hubby wZ after her moneybshe shouldvsau she made wrong decisions in choosing bad guy due to not being healed.
Exactly. Thanks for watching and commenting!
i wonder why does mirroring happen? i know narcs share a lot of trauma with ctpsd sufferers. it's having ego fragmentation. it is sad actually. maybe they feel like they wont be accepted for who they are? i know i had this mindset having brought up in a narc fam
Hi! Great points and great question! We experience mirroring as early as childhood; i.e. parent to child. It's a way to connect, attach, feel seen and heard. Narcissists tend to have unhealthy attachment styles and can be attachment starved, possibly due to ACEs. They tend to use mirroring in a controlling, manipulative way, to get their basic needs met.
@@iamlesleycain How do you differentiate between mirroring that people with high empathy do and mirroring that narcs do? I thought the friend i had and my mom and aunt too really are empathic like me. Turns out they were merely mirroring me which I found out so so late...we are talking about decades long.
You seem so nice
Thanks for watching and for your kind words!
I got concerned about this person this narcissist woman mind you we worked together but became friends but it was one sided the patterns overtime shifts because she appeared to be nice but it was fake and she loves and thrives on drama and always into her looks as well that me me attitude and definitely loves attention she a big flirt and a cheater she made that clear so sadly she doesn’t care anymore about anyone she loves to lie to so I called her out on a lie regarding me she snapped at me became verbally abusing me at times it got out of hand so I cut her out of my life because I caught on and she wasn’t a real woman she is so cruel and exactly like you said likes to threw people away like trash it hurts me after everything I found out about her she was so negative and you said it so clearly we never hung out after work was over she always says she busy I happen one time to see on Facebook she was on there chatting to her sis and other people she knows so my point is yes she is always into her life wh we spoke always bout herself and yes her attention it was always going to be about her nobody else I won’t waste my time on someone that toxic and so negative and eventually she going self destruct like most narcissistic people because they can’t keep there mask on forever narcissistic people are just toxic manipulative period!
So empowering! Sounds like you were able to identify toxic patterns of behavior, you know who and what you're dealing with, and you've set a boundary going forward. Thanks for watching and sharing!
@@iamlesleycain hi Lesley oh yes I know right yes I knew something was way off with that person in the beginning she was just to little creepy at first and finally overtime the mask really came off as soon as I set the boundaries and told her like it is she changed quickly I am better than before because she did verbally abuse me and yelled at me and lying to while back this became toxic so yes I told her to go because it happened in my own house but your welcome I really enjoyed your video very much.❤️
@@iamlesleycain and Thank you so much oh yes it very empowering when you stand up for ourselves especially against toxic people like that.❤️❤️
I was totally an emotional dump between her 2 main boyfriends. Lol typical. Finally i got so tired i shut it down, not even harshly. She ignored me ever since.
Narcissistic relationships are tiring. Way to prioritize your peace with a drama-free exit. Thanks for watching and sharing!
You sure we don't have the same friend 😬😳😩
I don't think so. But there are many like her out in the world. Thanks for watching!
Mine is a covert narc. People do not know what she is and she rarely “discards” people just uses them and says things like “God is putting them with another circle”
Interesting. How exactly do her relationships end? Or at what point do people disconnect from her? Thanks for watching and sharing!
@@iamlesleycain She kind of distances them but never really cuts them off. She’s been married a long time and he’s definitely her flying monkey although he doesn’t have a clue
I wouldn’t have even guessed what she was if I hadn’t recently left a long term relationship in which he was definitely a malignant narcissist
I left the friendship when she started a smear campaign against me.
She sent people to try and get info but I just didn’t respond to it.
She’s always the victim or hero
And I just didn’t want to repeat that toxicity in my life even in friendship
Also theres never closure. And face to face confrontations never happen. Their lack pf adult impetus to speak their truth and act accordingly is perplexing.
Yes, narcissists don't want you to have closure; and they're afraid of confrontation, especially with people who see through their lies. Their lack of maturity, inability to communicate clearly, poor relationship skills, and propensity to lie, is trauma-related. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Narcissist supply through friends
Exactly!!!🎯 Thanks for watching and sharing!!!
I am getting sick of these women
You deserve healthy relationships, in all areas of your life. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Did you ever sort things out with the person who had been smeared?
No. She withdrew from social media, mutual relationships, etc. I did reach out once to check on her, offer support and validation; but she didn't respond. Since there was nothing major for me to "sort out" with her, I didn't pursue it any further. Hope this helps. Thanks for watching!
@@iamlesleycain Hi. Thanks for replying. I have been smeared a few times, and was wondering if anyone will come forward after realising that it was a smear campaign.
@@Narcjus You're welcome. Sorry you've been smeared. People may or may not come forward. Depends on their personalities and emotional temperaments; the relationship dynamics; what was said; whether or not they figured out the narcissist's games; etc. For example, someone who is passive, embarrassed by their involvement with the narcissist, and who just wants to forget about the whole thing and move on, is less likely to reach out. On the other hand, someone who is more aggressive, angry or indignant about the situation, and wants justice, may reach out. Everyone reacts differently to narcissistic abuse. Hope this helps. Thanks for watching and commenting!
I think that when she said Joel she knows that Joel's is in the Bible he was a prophet so from that right there she was saying am no Joel she was saying to you am not perfect because she know that you was starting to see that she was fake so she was trying to stay two steps ahead of you to see if you gotten a whif of her narcissatitic ways
Hi, Brian! Interesting theory. Honestly, I think she's an extremely insecure woman, with some deeply rooted issues. She was simply mirroring me at lunch, went too far, and slipped up in the process. So sad and unnecessary. Thanks for watching and commenting!
If got one unloading on me via soc out all media. It's really outrageous . Known herv8 years online. Her health andcfami!y back ground . Everyone's to blame . If cooled figurine or two words from me unleashes pent up forensic memories of how much wrong was done to her. If archived her anecdotes a sick person but spares nothing .
So sorry that's happening to you! Narcissists can't deal with their inner and external pain. Lashing out is a threat response (real or perceived). Thanks for watching and sharing!
Wasn’t he a famous football player? How is he after her for money? 😅
Exactly! 🎯
To clarify:
Her 1st husband was a famous football player. She used his name for clout, long after they divorced.
Her 2nd husband was a minister with his own church. He escaped from her before she could discard him; and she made his life hell by smearing, stalking, and harassing him and trying to disrupt his congregation. This minister was the one I compared notes with, which was validating for both of us. He confirmed her narcissistic patterns of behavior.
Thanks for watching and commenting!
your freind is just very socially akward and lonely, not a narrcissist
You know her? And the many individuals, ministries, and businesses that she shamelessly used and later tried to destroy with national smear campaigns, triangulation, lies, court room manipulation, and more??? Proximity and patterns matter. And many of us who were in close proximity to her narcissistic behavioral patterns compared notes and disconnected, when it was clear who and what we were dealing with. Peace is priceless. Thanks for watching!
The sound of the fountain is distracting..
Hi! Thank you for your feedback. The fountain has stopped working, since I uploaded this video. I hope that you'll check out the rest of my content library, and that it helps you to heal after narcissistic abuse. Thanks for watching!
@@iamlesleycain Thanks for your answer. No worries. It’s just that with AHDH, I get so distracted by noises in webinar recordings.
Most people, when they record, seem to think think the sound of a fountain or even music will be nice; but also forget to check how the noise comes out once the video is out.
If you hadn't ended this "friendship" she would have went so far as , attempting taking you to bed.
I wouldn't doubt it, nothing is off limits , when it comes to maintaining control
Narcissists have no boundaries when it comes to supply. She definitely sought validation and financial support from successful men (i.e. NFL players and a pastor). She seemed more inclined to gather an audience of vulnerable women, pretend to solve their problems, and collect info and secrets from her close female friends. I wasn't in her inner circle, and grew weary of her grandiosity and selfishness. Thanks for watching and sharing your insights!
@@taviajones2071 Yes, narcissists love controlling others. It's ironic, given that their lives are often out of control, which this "friend's" ex-husband confirmed, after he got away from her. Thanks for watching and sharing!
I love your content but I have to differ on a comment.Sometimes pple 'build walls' and keep their lives private because you don't know other peoples agendas,motives or plans.I don't think that should be an red flag when you refuse to be an open book.
Hi, Cindy! I appreciate your kind words; and you raise a valid point, especially in these uncertain times. I hear you; and I agree that privacy, walls, introversion, shyness, trust issues, and the like, aren't necessarily red flags in and of themselves. Every relationship is unique and should be evaluated as such. Everyone has a backstory (trauma, and other hurts, habits, hang-ups). However, some people act out in more destructive ways, based on who and what they've been exposed to, especially during their formative years (ACEs matter). In this case, as I mentioned, context, patterns, history, information, observations, investigations, results, confirmation, and the passage of time made all the difference. I went down the "rabbit hole" with multiple sources, personally and professionally, about this person's behavior (endless lying, sabotaging, smearing, sense of entitlement, and more). Some experienced more destructive outcomes than others, as a result of their dealings with her. But the stories were similar, among those who compared notes. Thanks for watching and commenting!
I have learned to guard my privacy, and to not be too quick to reveal my story.
The way you just identified this female I thought was my friend
Sounds like you've realized some things about your friend. Glad I could help. Thanks for watching and sharing!