Anhedonia Doesn't Have To Steal Your Future!
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- čas přidán 3. 09. 2023
- If you don't feel excited about the future, it's hard to want to do much of anything. When depression and anxiety are severe, our lives often fall into a black hole where we do little, feel little, and remember little.
I barely remember anything about my late teens, and it's mostly because I barely did anything worth remembering. Now that I'm in a better place mentally, I can look back on that period with a different perspective. These feelings, or lack of feelings, don't have to ruin your life. There's a loophole that can still make life feel worth living even in your darkest times, and I'm going to teach it to you today.
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I feel no joy from traveling, shopping, dining out. I have zero desire to be social. I have zero desire to take a shower, take a walk or do anything that I once looked forward to. I don’t wish this feeling on anyone . Nothing brings me joy.
I can totally one hundred percent relate. I'm there. I feel like i'm always there. Listen to his take away message! Even if you don't think it's going to feel GOOD, KEEP GOING! It's a true case of bring the bodyand the mind will follow. I hope you make it
@@lincolnparc8897 agree, went on solo trips even when they made me feel empty. Now looking back it really does give me joy that i did them regardless of how i felt at the time.
Even when you’re in the pit, there are still things that motivate you. The thing you might be missing is anticipation. If you want something and instantly get it, you short circuit the neural circuits that make motivation work in the first place. You need to build up desire.
Today, if you want a burger, you don’t have to wait a week for it. But you can choose to. Don’t just put it on your calendar for next week and forget about it. Spend time every day thinking about the best burger you ever had, how the sesame seed bun was slightly toasted, the tomatoes actually tasted like tomatoes, the nice thick piece of sharp cheddar, the crunch of the pickle, the smell of freshly ground black pepper… whatever your version of that story is, tell it to yourself, slowly, a few times every day. Build the anticipation for a week or two, go to a good burger joint, with a friend if you can, and see what happens.
I'm there too
I feel the same way 😭
People don’t understand the appreciation piece that you talk about. I’ve had so many people advise me to keep a gratitude journal or focus on positive thinking. A person can be so far gone that it actually makes things worse because you’re putting in the effort, and it still feels artificial or removed. I remember being intellectually grateful but unable to feel the feelings that gratitude makes a healthy person feel. Now that I am no longer in depression I know that the inability to feel the gratitude was part of the disease and not the moral failing I thought it was. Hugs to everyone who can’t feel grateful rn. There are pathways back to yourself that you will eventually find if you just keep swimming.
Yes, seeing therapists, the gratitude journal pops up all too many times.
Thank you, Jeanette- In my upcoming rewrite, What is Good Evidence? I suggest
that acknowledging real "happenings" that
are big or small, LEAD to gratitude.
There's a chapter: FIRST Good Evidence, and THEN Gratitude. It's less work!! xoxo C
Gratitude never registers for me, your mileage may vary. It's like, "Hey, we put you in this world and lit you on fire, aren't you thankful we made the fire a little cooler?" F that. Life IS burning and I wish the burning to stop.
How do you know that people don't understand the appreciation piece.
Even if you don't squeal with delight in gratitude, it seems important to intellectually be aware of what is there to be grateful for. I agree it is NOT a moral failing, and is part of the disease of depression. I'm glad you choose to swim instead of sinking. Sometimes I have to wear those little floaties to keep going, but it seems worth the effort in the long run...or swim! LOL
I’m 70. I don’t remember hardly anything from my life. It’s like it never happened. Now, I don’t feel anything.
I truly relate to that! When people say such phrases as "You have your memories " I just smile mournfully and shake my head. I'm 73 and to an onlooker it's great.
@@nicolavowles2930 I feel your pain. Our lives have passed us by. Now I’m trying to figure how to meet new people, but there is no way. I live out in the jungle in a foreign country, can barely communicate in their language. No transportation. It’s peaceful. It’s beautiful, but since COVID, everyone quit socializing.
I'm 60 and can so relate. I will die alone and leave a very sad story
Keep it that way if you remember it your be in psychosis
In my 40s...and I remember...remember how disappointing my past and everything was for always being g alone and doing thi gs alone...the disappointment of rushing into a loveless marriage where the I lost one child, two if I count my stepdaughter I loved like my reL one I lost and she was Brainwashed to thi k I was bad...and I have raised my autistic son completely on my own and feel like a failure with him cause he's just like me addicted to games...
Thought I was doing so good by praying more and reading my Bible everyday, but today I'm just so unmotivated
I don’t like doing anything with people, I avoid everything, live alone, I love animals and nature but not people. I don’t go out with people, I go to the beach or the mountains or the desert with my dogs and that’s all I like so it’s all I do, all the time. It’s peaceful but for 50 years prior my life was constant trauma so I’m healing but don’t plan on ever having another relationship or changing, I am the way I am and I’m okay with it.
You stick with it then. Like you animals bring me peace as well.
Humanity isn't my thing, either. I wasn't sent here to BE one of you... I came to *enlighten* some rare, specific souls, and then be on my way elsewhere. Reflection is key.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --Diamond Dragons (Armageddon's Ballad)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
Me, too. I'm okay with it, finally. Adding someone else will make it worse, for me. Time has proven this to be true. Not willing to try, anymore.
I am exactly the same. I wonder if this is healthy as I am not sure If I might be depressed and that's why I am OK being this way or am I perfectly fine.
I have been very outgoing and social for most of my life.
But about 3 years ago it all changed.
If I would not have my dog, I would not even leave my apartment anymore.
Friends I talk to on the phone once in a while, but I don't get out of my way to see them.
Could that be menopause?
I am 49 now.
Also lost any interest in dating.
But again, I feel like it does not bother me.
I am confused.
Im not ok, and my soul is still intact more or less. But I'm not oke that you're not oke, although I respect your decision if it was. I pray God will restore our souls and put it in its own righteous place and become untouchability
Please keep creating content on Anhedonia, please.
I promise I will. It’s so under represented on here ❤️
@@DrScottEilers Exactly... and it's much needed.. by me at least. It's really hard to push through by will alone. Ain't sustainable.
@@Shan-ug9nqagreed.
@@DrScottEilers💯
This explains what I am going through. In 2020 I transitioned from a job I loved to a job I despise. My stress levels have been sky high for three years. I also lost both of my cats at the end of 2020. They died within 2 months of each other. Once they left, I shut down completely. Now, my life consists of driving one hour in traffic to work, working 9 hours per day at a stressful awful job, driving one hour in traffic home to an empty house, and going straight to bed. I have no joy anymore. I don’t go out anymore because I’m too exhausted. For the last six months I’ve searched for another job and got several interviews, but I think the interviewer can sense my desperation and sadness no matter how much I smile and act like everything is okay. Every interview resulted in failure. I can’t take the rejections anymore, so I gave up looking. All the things I used to do to make myself feel better no longer work. So, here I am. 😢
hello sorry to hear about your cats one of mine passed away due to cancer he was 12 the other is 11 it's been 10 weeks and i have cried everyday cos i miss him so much i can't image what you are going through but You have to try to hang on when Despair has its claws inside your Soul it's impossible to think or function i do hope you have friends and family to talk to or try to get Counselling for your grief i wish i could do more but be Strong and talk to someone i do hope you get better big hugs
I've been there, still haven't found my way back. Are you taking any anti depressant medications? If not you need to see your doctor. If you can get sick pay you need to take 6 months off work to evaluate your life and try to find a new job. I'm off work over a year now after a disastrous 2022 when I tried to change meds and the new drug did not work at all. I just kept getting worse and Ended up in hospital for ten weeks. It was hell. Still struggling with anhedonia but think I may be seeing some improvement. I've decided I'm not going back to my job. Still not sure what I'm going to do but I'm taking my time. I hope you can find a way to bring happiness back to your life.
@SDsearcher, very sorry for the losses of your beloved cats. I understand about leaving a job I loved for one that I dispise (I had to leave the good job because they didn't allow employees to live in some US states, due to tax reasons). I am only 6 months in, but I am spiraling downward pretty quickly, and not even caring how my work performance is.
I don't have too much to offer, other than to say that you brought interest by the employers you interviewed with, even if you did not get the job. Getting the interview is a huge hurdle, so hopefully you can accelerate that thought as positive thoughts and continue with interviewing. Sounds like a better job would do a lot to improve how you feel. We're rooting for you!! Good luck!!
Hello, I read your comment the other day and it hit home. I don't have many words of consolation but I do understand, since I am going through something similar. The difference is I really used to love my job and then due to poor management it turned into a sh!thole and now I work longer hours while being less paid. Worst of all, I don't see the results of my work due to these ''innovative techniques and ideas'' that the management thought of. As for your cats...I am so sorry. There is NOTHING that can compare to the pain of losing our animal family. I lost my dog in May. I still cry every day. Sometimes I scream and curse (when I'm alone) . I was listening to a psychiatrist explain why does the loss of our animal family hurt so much. She said that the bond we create with our pets emulates the bond we have (or should have) with our parents/ caregivers within the first year of our lives when we are loved unconditionally whether we are cranky, crying, soiled, sick or whatever. Later on this bond btw caregiver and a child becomes, weather we like to admit it or not, fairly conditional on both sides. So we spend our whole lives searching for a bond / love like that and the closest thing that comes to it is the bond with our pets.So when they die that love is forcibly being taken away from us. And in my case, it was the first time in my life I felt that unconditional love. She took care of me I think, more than I took care of her. When I lost her,I lost both a mother and a child and a best friend (Friend was actually her name). And IMO it is even more difficult than losing a human family member due to lack of support. ''Oh come on it's just a cat/dog/bird/rabbit...buy another one. It's not normal to cry like this over an animal. You know there are people who lose children, you are lucky. Get over it, it's stupid. She is a crazy cat lady, that is why she is alone. You know his dog slept on his bed? Eww that is sick.'' Nobody would say this about a human so we tend to ''downplay'' our pain which makes it worse. So that is why I cry,cry,cry whenever I feel like crying. Nothing brings me joy and I am angry most of the time. The only time I DO feel alive is when I help stray animals, and there are a lot of them in my country, unfortunately.I feed them, build homes, neuter them, treat them for diseases and I do my best to find them a home. The flip-side is that often times I see them suffer, hurt and die (mostly by the hands of people) which makes it worse for my emotional well-being but I cannot stop, I will not stop. I have always helped homeless animals and I adopted a few of them. But when my Friend died I unconsciously made a promise to her and to myself that I will always do what I can. If there is an animal shelter near you, go there when you can. I'm not saying adopt another cat, just visit. Help, bring food, treats or just spend time with the animals. If it's once a month, it's once a month. It means a world to them. And to us as well.
Loss of our pets is a deep grief. My comfort was that my boyoh still exists. Still loves me. I will see him again. That bright spirit in a jack russell coat... We love them and are loved, and love never dies.
But not having that bodily comfort here is a great loss.
I hope you come back to life, and that your circumstances resolve and improve.
For those with tinnitus, it will never be quiet .
I was searching for this comment 😅
Are there any nutrition-based solutions?
😮me, too! Unless a person has (esp Hyperacusis) they will not, cannot ever understand!
Yes! Add yams daily & lay off sugar, esp at night. The Army released yrs of studies on Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. Huge difference was the consumption of sweet potatoes!
Makes sense to me. I’ve had a terrible 2 years (aggressive breast cancer and son’s suicide). Yesterday was one of the worst days yet and my son has been gone for over a year. I feel like I should be doing better than I am. I found your videos yesterday, and I’m so thankful. It may sound dramatic but they’ve given me more hope than I had before that I am going to feel better. Thank you so much! ☮️♥️
Hugs.❤
@@tnt01 Thank you! Same to you! ☮️❤️
@@Coffeecup.0110 always remember, your son wants you to live in happiness. He does not want you to be sad. Take care.
@@tnt01 thank you. You’re right.
I too have experienced the loss of a son to suicide. It has been 6+ years. Each year has brought a new/different layer to the grief. Understanding my emotions and the process of living with all that his suicide has created in my life (and the lives of his siblings and friends), has been a journey of considering new perspectives regarding this type of loss. My warmest wishes to you - from one mother to another - as we give ourselves the gift of allowing our feelings of indescribable sadness as well as allowing moments of happiness...new ways of understanding and welcoming our ever-changing emotions. For me, learning a new way to communicate with my son has been a welcome relief. XOX
This is what stops me from leaving my room except to go to work. Because nothing in my mind is worth the effort i would put in to do it because i feel nothing.
@mayzienicholson9059 i am glad you can go to Work, i cant go out..😏🙏
@stellaancimer8505 Oh honey, I'm honestly feeling for you no matter where you are in the world, I wish you well.
@@mayzienicholson9059 same for you 🙏🙏
Reflection is rough. It's extraordinarily difficult for people to accept that absolutely everything they do will--without exception--become utterly meaningless and forgotten in 60-120 years (if not less). Think about it; unless you're Elon, XiXiPi, Heetlar, Stahleen, Chump, Harrison Ford, Didnay or Oprah... nothing you've done will be remembered in a dozen decades. Guaranteed! It is what it is. Acceptance is key.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --Diamond Dragons (Armageddon's Ballad)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
you say im nothing but everything you truly want you already are
At 50 my girlfriend cannot believe I have not come from another planet.
Literally have not gone to restaurants, concerts, functions holidays. Almost have not live life.
Meeting her is slowly thawing me.
I have not had a friend for 25 years.
Didn't want friends.
I stress about everything so I have removed everything to cope.
Being stuck in 2 narcissistic marriages over the last 25 years I cannot estimate how much it effected me.
I am starting to feel my emotions and its an odd feeling and overwhelming at times.
Both joy and deep pain and sadness. But regardless I am starting to feel.
I am finally starting to live life little bit by little bit.
You are doing well.
That’s good how did you managed to heal? I have been suffering from anhedonia and pain in my head for the last 2 years and no antidepressant seems to cure it
I don’t really want to live with the discomfort
That's great .... Hope everything continues to improve....✨✨✨🙏🏻
You must very good looking since you have had various long term romantic relationships during such a time. It’s great your living more 😅
My life is like a waiting room is how I have described my major depression. When you feel like nothing matters even the big stuff or success. It all feels like a waste of time of unimportant nonsense until we die. We are all just waiting and trying to keep busy with the out dated magazines or day time tv. I needed to hear this as someone who deals with this emotion, so thank you.
yep
Me too! I keep thinking "What am I waiting for? "
We all know what we're waiting for....
After full-blown PTSD, I had my first experience with anhedonia. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even feel empathy. I remembered very clearly what empathy was, and how it felt, and how odd it was to NOT feel it at times when...for decades...I'd been completely able to feel empathy for total strangers, but I couldn't feel anything, not even for those closest to me. I couldn't even feel sad about the loss of it...or regret about not feeling it...or remorse...I could not feel anything. It was like existing and not existing all at the same time. Most bizarre experience of 56 years on this planet.
I would not wish PTSD on my worst enemy. It will upend your life, and make you not be able to recognize or relate to the person you had known yourself to be for decades before the traumatic event.
Reflect, sentient one. Recite the hex of final vows.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --Diamond Dragons (Armageddon's Ballad)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I never knew this was a thing. I've spent my whole life thinking I'm just broken somehow. Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one. I'm literally trying not to cry as I write this. Thank you!
Cry. Trying not to cry buggers everything up. Crying is so necessary. I hope you can have some more good, big cries!
I didn’t know it was a thing until today either. My brother is always saying to learn something new every day. I think this qualifies. Who knew I could learn about myself from CZcams?
I have ezxperienced tbis recently but I did not know the namd.until the nurse mentioned it.
I totally relate. I have stopped doing things because nothing is fun or good. It's 5 am and I'm not glad I woke up.
You are broken somehow. We are.
As someone else mentioned, anhedonia for me has been a survival mode. After our kids grew up, I definitely had empty-nest syndrome. My husband can't deal with emotions so he is no comfort. Luckily our kids and grandkids give me a reason to not kill myself. There was a point I reached 3 years ago where I was not able to cry for any reason and was in full blown depression. I was basically a zombie. Now this will sound strange since I am a 77 year old grandma. But I found a K-pop group online called BTS and through their music and their sharing their own stories, the tears finally came. And then I was finally able to feel emotions again. (My family finds it funny. I tell them I'm just a crazy old lady, haha) When I feel sad, I go listen to their songs like Blue and Grey and cry and then I can feel alive again. There are times i simply must be alone and my family just has to accept it. Luckily we live in the country and I have a swing and my own little "zen" spot. Maybe there is some kind of music, or a favorite old movie, etc., that can help some of you. Also writing poetry or Journaling. And writing down the pain or anger and hurt you feel and then burning the paper can help to release the emotions locked inside that are keeping you in prison. I'm facing no longer being able to drive because of vision problems, which means loss of freedom. But I'm learning to deal with it. And if I live to be 80, I'm praying I will be able to walk the Camino. (Look it up.) (And maybe go to a BTS concert when they get out of the military. ) We have to discover who we are and not worry about what anyone else thinks Being in a zombie state is so painful, especially when you don't have anyone who understands, but you can find a way out.
Reading this comment makes me so genuinely happy:) I'm so glad that you were able to get out of that phase and find stability and joy and god knows how hard that can be. What makes me the gladest (is that a word?) is to think that now, if harder times were to come again, you have the tools within yourself to find your joy and stability and it's the most important thing in the world.
This is the most heartwarming and inspiring story I've read in a while.
I hope you will take the time to write this up and send it to BTS. They'll probably never read it, but if they do, I'm sure it would mean a lot to them to know how far their music has reached.
@kikijewell2967 Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Good idea. Thanks
@@conniepowell2013you wrote such a creative response to that awful state of no pleasure, no depth of feeling, and thar frustrating lack of tears! I am so impressed, and thankful for your contagious hope, and courage. Your comment on a youtube thread can change lives for the better. I am very grateful to have read it and "met" you : )
@@lisasommerlad1337 Thank you. May God bless you and give you peace.
Because in my past I gave so much of myself to so many, (I'm a health care worker), I no longer can sustain relationships with new people that enter my life. Close friends & family & that's it. And even then i find myself limiting my time with them & feeling exhausted on every level. It's like a full tank of gas dwindled down & running on fumes. One does get to the point where helping so many & getting crumbs in return depletes the soul. I heard of Anhedonia talked about with patients & have come to realize this is also something I'm experiencing & have been for some time. I believe it's our circuits over-loading & our being shutting down in order to function. I believe we feel empty because we leave pieces of ourselves with things & people we used to love & now there is nothing that remains.
I wish I felt nothing. My moments of joy are miniscule in comparison with anger, anxiety, and sadness.
Feeling nothing is not better. I've been where you are and I'll take what you have over feeling nothing.
@@dk6173 idont know - Idont know how it would be to simply feel nothing. being autistic I feel everything at a level I cant even describe. it would be nice to be numb.
It is normal to feel this emotions
No you don’t trust me.
@@brandonbennett84 do you take meds?
I've had these feelings, this overwhelming anxiety and depression since I was about 22. I'm 54. It never goes away. Your videos are only time I have ever felt a mental health professional understood what I experience. When I can afford it I will buy your book. Maybe I can finally escape this hole.
Sending positive thoughts. From another 50-something year old who had dealt with crippling depression and anxiety since age 20. Be well!
I'm in the same boat! Sending you guys lots of love ❤
I’m 54 as well. Never really put the depression label on myself. Just thought this is me. But now realizing I’ve been depressed for decades.
There is a book? Name please.
@@JennyLory Also in my 50s, dealing with anhedonia. Did/has anything helped you return to the world of emotions?
There is another similar condition which is known as "broken heart syndrome", or a frozen heart. This is when a person cannot feel any feelings, because when one has taken too much emotional and mental pain, the heart has its own kind of a trip switch, and switches off the emotions to protect oneself, and one cannot feel joy or emotions regarding new experiences. The old experiences and pain are still there, but the measure is full, and there is no more room for further emotional pain. It can stay this way, if there is permanent damage, but it can also switch on again, when one has healed somewhat and has had peace and no serious further painful experiences.
There is no healing.
When I was 13 my Mother was killed. My Dad went into a deep hole. I have never felt happiness or love. I also isolate and don't want to get close to anyone for fear of the pain of losing them. I've been on Every Antidepressant there ever was. No help. Been to 100 therapists. One of them when I was telling one lady about the experiences of my life. Her eyes got as big as Saucers, and her face was frozen in horror. She kept saying Ohhhh, and Oohhh I knew that She Could Never help me.
@@julieyoung3315 😥
@@julieyoung3315 I am so sorry for what You've been through. Really wish You would find the doctor/antidepressant that gives You some relief.
Thanks for giving a name to the thing I'll have to talk to a therapist about, when I can eventually afford one. That's exactly how I'd describe the feeling... I want to enjoy, and be grateful, for the life I have, but when so much you treasured is ripped away from you, one right after another, the heart can just say, "No, I've had enough, I don't care anymore if it gets better or worse, because they'd both just hurt now..." And then it just never came out of that, I'm still sitting there alone under that cold Hunter's Moon 17 years later. But at least now I can give that brokenness a name.
A room that is so quiet that you literally can hear the physical sounds on your own bodily functions sounds really comfy, honestly. I'm not sure I would want to leave
Oddly enough that's not the case. Being in an anechoic chamber is actually a bit physically uncomfortable. The absolute silence feels like there is a pressure on your ears, talking aloud your brain doesn't get the expected environment noise, usually they also use black foam so it's very dim. I've used one for research and it's a necessary evil in the sense I don't look forward to going inside
That's what I was thinking. Where is this and how can I visit?
F#@k expectations... no expectations, no disapointments.
In one of my most down periods 2 years ago I forced myself to take a drive with my dogs to see the fall color changing of trees. It’s become a fond memory where I hold a lot of compassion for my hurting self at the time. I believe your theory is correct.
Anhedonia is reason why i dont care about anything anymore and i want die im not suicidal probably because im too scared and i have family but i still hope that i would just die. i still do things because i know if i stop i will never get better i feel like almost no one fully understands me. what you told about your experience with anhedonia was interesting and gives hope.
Same. Stay strong you're doing all the right things. 🙏
Same. ❤
same
Same 💜
I've been thinking of visiting Canada for MAID if/when my family's history of illness catches up with me. I don't even want to go into treatment provided the need for it to survive.
I had this after being brought down from vyvans, its like living in hell,
Working out and cbt brought me back from the edge
Anhedonia. I've heard of this and know that I've had this since the 1980s. I'm now retired and it has gotten to the point that I barely leave the house except to go to the grocery store and occasionally to lunch with one of my very few remaining friends. Depression to varying degrees has been my state of mind since I was probably 9 or 10. I'm resigned to it.
Made perfect sense to me! I back out of things/activities all the time. I worry constantly about the event to the point that I dread it, wish it were over. And then I cancel. 😢
Yes, me too
Yes, this is me.
Me too. Nobody understands.
Me too!
I was dx with anhedonia 25 years ago. I didn't even know what that meant. I now have it again. When I was younger I had a reason to try to get better. I had three young children that motivated me. Now I am estranged from my family, Because of health problems I can barely even walk from my bed to my bathroom. A shut in. I feel like everyday I Stare at the ceiling and wait to die. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
I know this sounds crazy, but try the carnivore diet. I've been on it for 2 months, muscle and joint pain has vastly diminished and some joy and hopefulness is coming back. I too was near bedridden and estranged from adult children. The estrangement was killing me faster than the physical problems but now with the improvements in my physical decline, I at least feel ready to make new friends and not ruminate on missing my children.
I understand I am scared from this
I lost my mother in 2021. She was my universe. I’d been her carer as she had Alzheimer’s. I have complex mental health issues, since she passed I’ve had DPDR and every day I mostly just feel numb. Some things change, l feel love for my adopted cat, and a little joy. But my happiness is all measured. I think I’m afraid of what’s underneath the numbness, because grief has nearly destroyed me. I’ve just found your channel Dr Scott, and I’m really listening.
Between doing the thing and not enjoying it, and that possible future appreciation, is the feeling of satisfaction from having at least got myself to do it at all. This is no small thing, and we should congratulate ourselves for having made the effort.
This is literally more painful,than pain. I actually learned about this horrific suffering years ago. After being on meds for years, this happened to me. My biggest regret in life, is taking any meds for depression, anxiety, insomnia. It literally changed my brain.
I know I would be here without the meds. Yes, they may have changed my brain too, but to be honest it think the depression will do that anyway. I wish I could go back to a time when I did not need these drugs but last year proved to me that I cannot survives without them now.
@@wingnut71i stopped using anti depressants because they didint improve my life at all. If you stop first week is hell even worse than severe depression normally but after that i felt same than using meds i dont know if that is case for others but that is my experience i personally think that there are no point taking anti depressants if they give you zero benefit
Yeah they changed my brain too so that now I cannot function without zoloft.
@@grammyrosethompson650could you function before Zoloft?
I'm sorry anyone gets suckered into anti depressants. Our forced lifestyle is not for our health. People have lived for countless generations without them
A year worth of therapy and all I got was "just don't think about the bad stuff" and then half an hour of your video and most of my life suddenly makes so much sense, and you gave me an idea of how to overcome my executive dysfunction that comes from anxiety/stress of anticipation of unpleasant event. I never even considered that third time frame and I've experienced many of them. There were many times when I didn't want to go somewhere, but went and ended up enjoying an experience or being proud of the fact that I had that experience, even if I didn't happen to enjoy it. Mind. Blown.
I’m so glad this helped !
“Just don’t think about the bad stuff” like, does that therapist even know what PTSD is?! I don’t really get a choice about thinking of the bad things 😂🙌🏻
@@OpalLeigh👏👏👏👏
Try doing it with health problems. Makes worse have try hard to do simple things. And covid don't help everything feels scary doing therapy I'm still trying but feel like a freak ugh
Amazing isn't he? My first visit and definitely not my last. He just makes sense
This describes what I experience to a T! I had a call from a friend that I like to hang out with her and drive to a few nearby places while her maid cleaned. It was a last minute invitation but as usual, I didn’t want to go. I panicked over having to quickly decide then I told my mind that I have no real reason not to go. I got ready fast and went. It was mostly just OK but we went to fun, new to me places! Afterwards I was very proud of myself for going even though I didn’t want to. My husband was happy I went, too.
thank you. i struggle to be happy and enjoy anything i mean it. it's awful. it's like being unable to like or enjoy anything at all. even my old favorite things from places, people, food, work, hobbys etc.
You are the first person in 60 years who has been able to put your finger on what I feel. I mostly dread things, even if it’s something I want to do. When it’s far off I can agree to lots of things. As the commitment gets closer I increasingly dread it and always try to get out of it. I have to go to an award ceremony next month. It’s a big deal but I’m already preparing myself for the disappointment of not winning as I know I will take it very personally. I used to believe in manifestation, but that never really manifested. I get you, and I feel like you get me. You describe my emotional world exactly. You are an awesome dude❤
Thank you!!
what's the award for? the simple fact you care about losing is a positive sign from where Im sitting...well laying. Shows you still care about something & value your self-worth x
Wow! Without realizing it, ive been in this situation for the past 6 years--since i bought my house . Bad noisy neighbors, ripoff contractors, indifferent family, grown sons (1 mentally-ill), etc. Ive been in survival mode for this whole time, leaving me hardly any room for other feelings afterwards.
Bad neighbors are a special kind of hell
@@DrScottEilers they certainly are!!
@@DrScottEilersyeah have been there !
I turned everything in my life around. It was a struggle but I did it! I forced myself to. I couldn’t let myself down and go through this sh*t anymore because I could see where this was headed.
On a daily basis. I used to drink but haven’t in 13 years. Lifestyle, diet, exercise are so important to your mental health. Medication has been so important to my evolution. have been at the bottom with depression all my life. I have bouts that can for last days.
No more feeling like that. I was in a bad funk and one day got back into my weight lifting routine, I walk my dogs, I am a mom, I work full time and just recently I added roller skating in there. I am so worth fighting for! I really can say I love me. I am always challenging my thoughts. If I can’t deal with it then I kick to the curb. Nah, depression isn’t a part of me anymore.
I’m trying to get there! ❤
Medication has been so important to my evolution... an antidepressant? .. been thinking of getting on some since my wife of 13 yrs passed 8 1 23 of cervix cancer so sudden :( i used to be fine but cant get out of the funk- i can if i can sleep well but i dont
@@beatleme2 you can do this. You are worth fighting for. One thing I have learned is to never give up on yourself no matter what’s going on. Right now I am dealing with a ton of family situations that would take any normal person down. I won’t let this happen to me because I love me and I am so worth it.
@@licksnkicks1166 😇 thank you
This hit me so hard in the context of the last 10 years of existing in grief. It’s only now some of the experiences of the last 10 years are coming through the blur. Including Motherhood. I lost my mum to cancer whilst I was pregnant and then my Dad a year later. It’s like I’ve been underwater. Now, every so often, I get to take a breath. And enjoy a memory.
I'm exactly like that. Constant anxiety related to work, everything that used to be good is "meh" and don't care about going out or seeing other human beings anymore.
I just found this....I have been so ashamed to let anyone know that I haven been feeling any joy ..I feel flat as I call it
completely flat and it's many years now.
I do things because I know I used to like or enjoy ...and I have to force myself and very often I give up....I have been depressed for also a number of years unfortunately where I'm from this is a luxury problem.
Thank you very much for this enlightenment..that what I feel has a name and not in my head.
Been waiting to die for the last 20years and I wake up every morning and go through the day , people find me kind,helpful, nice, funny always having a smile on my face ..but inside all is dead. Funny
@Mbonika: Your positive traits you mentioned bring ppl happiness more than you will ever know. It sounds like you light up the room & thats beautiful. It takes a strong, courageous & selfless person to do this considering the mental state your in. I have similar traits & I discovered that the kindness and compassion is never reciprocated. I'm 36 & have never met 1 person who is willing to brighten my day, or put any effort in as I do. I believe 💯 that the lack of acknowledgement from peers, coworkers, bosses, family & more along with an emotionally abusive relationship is absolutely the cause for the Anhedonia. We're exhausted emotionally & physically. I haven't left my bed for weeks. I'm so sorry your feeling this way. I know easier said than done, but be strong. Try to do something, anything that gives you even just the tiniest bit of feeling & remember that there are great people out there that can provide you the support you need. I know thats scary because youve been let down so much but theres 7 billion ppl on this planet and most ppl are good. Don't give up. You still have chapters to complete & rooms to brighten. Ppl will always remember how you made them feel. You're special and rare. ❤
I see a dad who invested a lot of his time, money and effort to make his son happy... If nothing else, that love is priceless
I come from to much trauma to believe there's anything good in life . Ive sat in complete solitude for years and it still sounds better than most people
Oh, man. That "black hole in my life" bit resonates all the way to my core. I've got very little in the way of memories of the last 20 years thanks to depression, anhedonia, and constant, utter exhaustion from simply trying to stay alive in a world that's not built for my AuDHD brain. When I was younger and had more energy, I used to make myself do things even when I wasn't feeling them in the moment...but that lost its viability as I got older. I'm constantly having to factor in the exhaustion factor, taking care to limit my energy expenditure to something that won't result in missing work, getting fired, and losing my means of staying alive.
Same. I can barely drag myself to work but I need it to survive and pay bills, so I cut everything and everyone out of my life to preserve my energy expenditure
This sounds so much like me and my situation. Just work to pay the bills with no feeling that it is really important. Same for the last 20+ years.
My ADHD that was diagnosed at 61, along with having chronic stress and depression, that I've had as long as I can remember, is so debilitating that I try to do nothing. The stress of getting ready, having everything I need to leave the house is overwhelming, something always gets messed up. I forget, I misplace, I don't remember where, when, it's so frustrating and exhausting, that I just want to stop having any responsibilities. Sounds like a cop out, I guess it is. I'm so tired all the time, like walking through mud. Even right now while writing this my guts are in a ball of pain, never goes away. Been on meds since my 20's. My Children, Grandchildren and a couple of cats that I rescued are the only reason I'm here.
Thank you so much. Your wording of the experience of anhedonia is the most accurate I’ve heard so far. Thank you for making me feel seen and understood in a time where I feel so isolated from the world around me. Depression can make you feel so alone in your thoughts and worldview. Reading the comments makes me feel more human and connected. Thank you for creating this space and giving people the license to share a community. I know it’s just CZcams, but it really makes a different reading similar stories as mine. Thank you ❤️
I have just found this guy. Waal. I’m not alone, I truely thought my condition was unique 😢
I’m new here too, and it really does help to find any form of community, even online.
Doctor Scott, I thank God for you. About 12 years ago I was in an accident , while riding my
Mnt. Bike I was hit by a speeding car and flew 25 feet
Into a building an hit head first.
My brain stem snapped a half inch chunk of C1 hoop and the hoop connections at C2 were both shattered. At the hospital I had MRI and waited for the Nuero Surgeon. It was a woman who entered the room holding one of the images.
She looked startled and said someone is watching out for you. Then said, 80% of the time when I see an image like this I am looking at a corpse...
After a complete nerve test I had zero nerve damage nor any any symptoms.
No one said anything about the possibility of TBI or ptsd.
But 4 months later all that manifested was diagnosed and received a VA pension.
Anxiety and short term memory loss led to inability to make a plan or remember a plan.
My VA councilor was so helpful because he had experienced all of that, with the help of VA he went back to university and became a nurse. He told me to challenge my brain and avoid stress. I followed that and was functioning at 85% normal.
Recently I was robbed and I broke my hip experienced new trauma and brain functioning
dropped off to 30 / 50%.
Your videos are helping me understand what is going on in my brain. And the effect is less Anxiety! Plus I can resonate with you because you are a very knowledgeable person with a great personality and an amazing teacher. ❤ I appreciate you very much.
Thanks for all that you are doing!
I never knew anyone else felt this way. I have literally spent years doing nothing. Watching life pass me by and wondering why I don’t care.
I get in trouble for this because people think I’m being mean. It can come across as low key insensitive or rude. But I just felt not good in the situation. I could never enjoy things like others - they’d all be laughing and carrying on?? I finally have a word for this. I’m shocked it’s depression. I thought I just had a mental block? This is deep! I’ve even thought I was weird for not living like others in that aspect.
The house feels like my head, and I can't get out of it, figuratively and literally
Thank you. This is my life. I'm just in the midst of a severe depressive episode right now & with the anhedonia, it's easy to think "what is the point of trying to get through it, I will never feel good again & every single thing feels like a mountain to climb." You've helped me feel more heard & seen on this channel than any of my friends or years of therapy. Thank you.
This is what I have, relentlessly. I rarely feel pleasure. Can count the times I have on both fingers.
The world is evil.
This is the most motivating thing I have heard about dealing with depression in many years. Thank you!
I’m so glad to hear that!
I want to ask a question as someone that is suffering from Anhedonia.. do you have any gifts or ability's. Empath, energy sensitive, Intuitive, clairvoyant, hsp highly sensitive person or Geo Sensitive meaning you get headaches from Enviromental changes storms ect. solar sensitive meaning some days being in the sun hurts your eyes.
I worked at the same job for 34 years and I thought they had my back. I was severely injured due to someone else’s negligence on the job and when the company found out I needed several surgeries to be whole again, they fired me and directed workman’s comp to deny my claim. I was out on the street and over the last five years I spent thousands of dollars I don’t have for my surgeries. All the people that I thought were friends have turned their backs on me and I live pretty much without human contact. Since this started, I have gone from sadness and depression to being completely dead inside. Now I know at least there is a name for it. Dead inside is better than hurting.
You made the mistake of showing loyalty to your employer. Never do this. They will drop you without a thought the very second they think they can make more money another way because many business owners are psychopaths.
According to most estimates 30% of the global population falls within the spectrum of psychopathy. I know that sounds high but we are talking about the complete spectrum. Psychopathy mostly manifests as the inability for a person to be able to feel empathy or compassion for others. Because of this, they are unable to self soothe their anxiety and fear the way the rest of the global population can by merely pleasantly interacting with other people. Instead, they feel the need to control people and resources around them, which offers them a false sense of security. Which political party in your country do you suppose psychopaths would gravitate to?
Given these character traits, do we suppose that exploitation would serve Psychopaths better than anyone else? Given the behaviors of Getty, Edison and Hearst along with other robber barons of the past and billionaires now, would it be too much of a stretch to think that psychopaths are overly represented within the controlling class on the planet?
Psychopathy is a mental illness that poses a danger to others and even the psychopaths themselves. Would it make sense to allow mentally ill people to control resources and power within a civilization?
It's time for good people to take everything back.
I was so sad to read your comment. Did you ever speak to a lawyer? Your employer and the state should not be allowed to get away with this! God bless and keep you.
@@jeanienapier6566 thank you for your concern. I did hire a lawyer but in my state, you don’t get to take them to court, you are forced before a state arbitration board. The members of this board are all executives from the insurance companies and nearly always deny a claim. Horror stories abound where people are totally disabled at work and are denied claims then end up on the street. My lawyer settled for a paltry sum that was gone when I paid for the first surgery I had to have. The lawyer automatically got a third of what ever the settlement was. It has been five years and last winter I finally got my back surgery so now I am finally able to do things again. Fortunately, I inherited a small piece of land that I live on so I am not homeless. When I look at the three trillion dollar tax break that the billionaires and corporations got under Trump, I just shake my head and wonder WTF. Thank you for your kind words.
@jeanienapier6566 I went through something similar.
Sadly, if you live in a right to work state like Indiana, your employer can dismiss you without outright firing you, and take a few back channels to make sure you don't get comped.
All they have to say is "You can't prove it." And that's pretty much it.
@@jeanienapier6566 sorry I didn’t see your reply earlier. I sued and won but in this state lawsuits do not go to court but are forced in front of an arbitration board made up of insurance company executives. They determine the out come and judgment. My case was irrefutable but for the judgment, I got barely enough money to pay for the first surgery and carried the rest on my own. Basically, the deck is stacked against the injured worker and for the insurance companies and employers. Thank for replying.
You were talking to me here. I'm just about in tears that anyone could even come close to the emotional rollercoaster I feel every day. Thank you for not only that validation of mental messiness, but a key to how I might be able to handle it better. Thank you, Doc.
I believe now that there's no hell to die and go to... Some of us are living there right now. Lord have mercy!!!
From the bible, to the tibetan book of the dead, if you want to choose to live in hell, well enjoy. If you don't want to live in hell then do something about it.
I've had anhedonia for decades. It got me wondering why is anything fun? What's fun for one person isn't interchangeably fun for another person. So what makes something fun or un-fun. I realized that fun for me was transactional. What I gained out of it had to exceed the effort I put into it. For example, I used to ski, and ski fairly well. But it was a very long, unpleasant drive up and back, and it is a very expensive pastime. Eventually, my skills plateaued and the gains diminished but the effort and cost remained high. Thus the trips became less fun and more of a duty to engage myself in a recreational activity. And then I'd get frustrated with myself because how could I be bored when I was surrounded by the beauty of nature and spent a lot of time and money to get here so, dammit, I had better enjoy it! So I eventually stopped skiing.
But (getting back to the topic of your video) in spite of the those negative qualities of my ski trips, when I recall those decades old memories, I now predominantly remember the happy aspects and disregard the stress, effort and cost of the trips.
Skiing used to be a sport for everybody and was a good activity to meet people and have fun. Now skiing is too expensive for all but the rich as a day ticket runs anywhere from$125 to $250 a day and now it seems like all you meet are self centered narcissists and their brats. I don’t blame you for giving it up.
It actually makes a lot of sense. I just learned about anhedonia this past weekend. I was on a trip watching my son play in a soccer tournament (they won the championship 🎉)
I knew I felt no pleasure or joy planning it, didn’t enjoy the drive there or back. I forced myself to do this for my son; I remember how I felt looking at the sidelines and no one was there to watch me or cheer for me…just an empty feeling.
After seeing this video I’m hoping that perhaps this experience that was great for my son and I struggled through the whole thing may come up in my future life your Florida trip did for you.
I need to check the door. I haven’t even thought to check to see if it’s locked or not. When a zoo has a baby elephant they prevent the elephant from breaking though a rope and escape. Eventually the elephant stops trying; when that happens the zoo removes whatever restraints they had because the elephant will forever believe it cannot escape by breaking that rope. Very similar to me and that door.
This is exactly correct! I talk about this in my other videos on Anhedonia as looking for the loopholes and running experiments. You clearly understand the concept already, but it might also be worth looking into the research on “learned helplessness.” It’s what you’re describing with the elephants but in a scientific context ❤️
I want to ask a question as someone that is suffering from Anhedonia.. do you have any gifts or ability's. Empath, energy sensitive, Intuitive, clairvoyant, hsp highly sensitive person or Geo Sensitive meaning you get headaches from Enviromental changes storms ect. solar sensitive meaning some days being in the sun hurts your eyes.
I’ve had this for 10 years. A therapist told me like 40 years ago….pretend. Pretend your good responses a lot. It’s a good practice. The pretending will eventually store up good memories, feelings. It worked for a decade or two.
I am successful. Achieved most of what I wanted but nothing brings me joy. I participated in an orphan ministry and that brought me some joy but I still have longways to go. I pray and worship and that seems to help some too.
I have not had any experiences worth remembering for years, has you say just a huge black hole, i stopped doing the things I used to love because the anxiety would far out way the enjoyment of the event/things, i cut myself from every one i knew because it was easier to be alone, but this is a very sad lonely way to live, infact it's not living, its just existing, im 60 this month and i would say I've spent most of my adult life alone. I used to like walking and would try to go for daily walk and maybe talk to strangers i met,recently due to pain in knees have no longer been able to do this, it was one of only a few things I liked to do, as a result my depression is worse. Sorry for sad post but definitely struggling lately and have been for a while. Thats a massive understatement
Have you ever had your hormone levels checked? I'm not sure what your financial situation is, but turmeric can work for some people. Plus, there's a research peptide called bpc 157 that could do wonders to help with the pain and healing process.
I've been where you are. Things can get better, but only you can make that happen.
this has been me for the past 6 weeks now. I lost interest in everything and very little makes me smile. thanks for the information.
You are so welcome!
You make total sense. I'm 74 years old now. I was depressed and very anxious from age 13. I did a lot of things in my life in spite of my constant anxiety. Now, when I look back on my life I feel sad. Cause I didn't really enjoy anything. Traveling, going to concerts, I was always so uncomfortable. In 2018 my partner died. We had a 20 year relationship but there was something off with him. He had a heart of gold but lived in a fantasy world where I couldn't reach him. It took me five years to get over his death. Everything about it was traumatic. In 2022 I had enough of staying at home and mourn. I live in Amsterdam and decided to spend the winter in Portugal. It was the best decision ever. It was like I finally had control over my own life. Before that I lived the life of my parents, the life of my partner. Always adjusting to others. I just cannot live with other people. I can visit them as long as I can decide when I leave. Sometimes I think: I just want to erase 60 years of my life. But at the same time the horrible experiences I had to suffer, like the ridiculous things psychiatrists told me, I know now my feelings were genuine and the judgment of psychiatrist or doctors were so wrong. Such an insult. I finally reached the point that I believe in myself, I have a much better insight then those so-called experts. The main thing is: I want the best for myself. Nothing less. I wish I had known that when I was 6 years old. Demanding the best for myself. From parents, teachers, grown-ups. Instead I tried to be the person they wanted me to be. Never again. When I look back I feel a lot of shame. Letting other people take advantage of me. Believing I was worthless.
Thanks for your words. I'm a Brazilian, 32 yo, going trough a period of my life feeling nothing, hardly enjoing moments of enjoy, but thanks god, I still try to have experiences, unconsciously, like you said, I know that in the future I will enjoy remembering that moment.. 🙏🏾
Could you please do a video on how to get over grief?
I cant live with the anhedonia anymore . I am in constant discomfort and loss of pleasure . I find it unbearable . All I need is some pleasure to make me feel better and improve my quality of life . At the moment I have no quality of life and am miserable all the time
It’s making me drink alcohol because I’m trying to soothe the burning and anhedonia and hoping it will give me back my pleasure
I cant live with the burning ache anymore . I’m in too much discomfort. Please will someone help me find a cure it is life threatening . I keep drinking because of the anhedonia and discomfort
I will die of alcohol poisoning if I don’t get the pleasure back . I cant live without it
I don’t want to live if my quality of life is zero . It feels like a very cruel and nasty punishment
I don’t want to live without sex without pleasure without love. I cant do it anymore
My husband had copd and partial blindness for years and lost his career as a violinist. I was his caregiver. In 2019 he almost died with covid...yes it came here in late 2019... and in May 2020 the real fun began. A beloved dog died, and 2 weeks later our house burned. We took the 3 dogs and moved to an apt. where almost alone, with little help from 3 grown children, I cared for them 9 months. Sometimes he was in such pain and misery and anxiety over the house, I couldn't bear it and left with the dogs for a long ride. I would take insurance $$ and buy things at walmart just to give to charity...to feel I had some agency. Two grandsons were his greatest joy because being out of school they came over a lot.
Now I live alone with the newly fixed house and 2 shelter dogs, since the others died last year at 15. I loved being Catholic but have lost not my faith in Jesus but in religiosity and all churches. I'm on the verge of tears all the time and broke after home insurance, etc. I thank God for good health, but I'm in a odd place. Certainties have gone....it's a little adventurous.
I thought I was the only one in this world that does not enjoy traveling, it is so helpful to listen to you and feel comfort, because nobody in my family understands me, or my friends! Thank you so much!!!
I know what you mean, I go dancing with a group, I feel nothing, I dance, I used to love dancing, I still go anyway and feel an inckling of fun which is good. I always feel better after I have been because I met people, I believe if I keep going, especially when I could easily talk myself out of it, it is ultimately better looking back later on. I would encourage people to ignore that what's point feeling and just go!
The situation of not enjoying incredibly happy moments has happened to me many times. However, remembering the moment years later can also be painful, as the memory is recorded together with the state of mind I was in, and of course, the state of mind was pure hell.
There have been times, however, when I have been able to use will power to keep my anhedonia from stealing such magical moments. But, this is only possible when the depression is not extreme. During an extreme depression, no amount of will power will work.
My question then is, how do you manage to remember the magical moment without reliving the mental anguish associated with it?
This resonates with me. If it is just anxiety and a lack of motivation in doing or experiencing things, then it is still possible to enjoy the activity and then remember it positively. To me anhedonia has been a total inability to look forward to or enjoy life and its experiences as a result of the traumas i have faced. These have caused anxiety, fear, guilt and deep despair that have resulted in inability to participate and enjoy life. And the memories of any experiences I have are forever associated with this numbness and complete lack of joy.
I have a friend who more or less experiances this.
What he does is exist by discipline alone. He performs tasks out of discipline. Works out with discipline. Talks to people with discipline. Is he happy? Im not sure thats the right word.
But he is satisfied with himself. Having done what he intellectually believes he should be doing. Getting ripped as hell because he merely decided he would, and then did. I know its not the same for everyone, but satisfaction might be accessible without emotions.
I totally understand what you were saying! And it is so wonderful that I saw this video and decided to watch. Very relevant to my experience right now. Thank you for that insight regarding the third time. That has motivated me during this time in my life when motivation has been scarce. Thank you for your videos!
I've just come across your channel and it's amazing because there's quite a few things that I've got. PSI (which I've just found out thanks to you 👍🏻) , anxiety, sever depressed and there quite a few other bits that I'm going to stick in once I've watched your videos 😊
Gosh you hit the nail on the head for me -
I’ve done alot of things for other people my kids and husband - done a lot of traveling around to care for kids and help be a good nana -
I am grateful for those experiences a d memories
Now
I’ve had back surgeries where I feel like i need to take better care of myself my home pets garden -
My husband has made a lot of promises to me and our life when we got older I’m now 70 - he’s 84
He’s betrayed me and has made me look bad in front of the kids I do feel paralyzed not to go anywhere
I hate pressure
I’m going to follow all of your threads thank you so much
Thanks for watching! Hope I can help a little!
May God bless you through your difficulty and give you peace. I'm 77 and just posted something on here. It's hard to be older and really hard when you don't have a supportive spouse. My kids and grandkids are the reason I keep plugging along. Hope you can find something for yourself that can bring at least some amount of joy into your life. I have good days and bad days but I'm making time now to do what I need for myself. We can't be present for our kids and grandkids unless we allow time to care for ourselves first.
Ive struggled with depression on and off my whole life. It is by no means an easy condition to live with. Im thankful that there are videos like this from people whove thoroughly educated themselves on this condition. It helps people struggling with it to understand it more so that we can stop blaming ourselves for it and take action against it. Thank you for your videos!
I found this so fascinating, I often push myself to do things knowing leading up to it, and actually in the process I won’t care for it, but I know when it’s done, I will feel a surge of well-being and thankful that I participated. I always thought something was wrong with me for not enjoying the first two parts of an event. Maybe I’m just an after-event enjoyer? It does make sense - over 50, generalized anxiety and depression most of my life. It feels very affirming to hear about after event enjoyment and think it will spur me on to take part in more activities. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this video!
I'm new in your channel and I'm loving your videos! You put many of my feelings and my states of mind into words, helping me to understand what's going on
This is the first time someone has articulated outwardly this mystery enigma I have been experiencing. What a relief to hear it put into words and shape some meaning into something concrete I can finally grasp onto. If you can capture haze or fog that are these types of thoughts and feelings, and then structure them into meaningful words & concepts, as impossible as I thought that was, this was it. So unbelievably helpful. Wow, thank you.
Just discovered your channel today, and I'm extremely thankful. I'm a 40 year old male struggling with these feelings for 20 years, and you just made me understand them and why I feel like I feel. The best of it all, today is a really bad day for me. Feeling very dark and empty and tired. I thought I was an extremely ungrateful, selfish person, never understood why I don't appreciate things in life more. Thank you for giving me hope, understanding. Greetings from South Africa. Come too think of it, I judged myself all these years for having these feelings.
czcams.com/video/VM8TY_FCm-Y/video.html
Thanks for writing about your experience, everything you wrote is understandable. Good, you've noticed a lot. Now be kind, caring and extra sweet with yourself like you'd behave with another. I know, look who's talking..! I've came to certain realizations (every day there are others, thinking much!) thinking I must hate myself for not taking better care of me, especially this time. I'm so confused of myself as a person and then the traumas and grief and realizing some more things and remembering horrible events and suppressed feelings smack me whack. I'm trying to make sense of things instead of living. I'm in denial and forgot so much and my to go coping one of them is to "make myself numb" if it isn't happening by itself. The hurt and grief I feel like I can't take, some things are meant to hurt I'm trying to learn how to feel and allow it. I've been so scared and hurt, I don't feel like continuing. So I barely am alive, I know it's temporary so I push through while I regroup and give myself grace and permission to exist and enjoy life's beautiful moments with nature and animals. Take care ☝🏽🌌💖💫
There are a few things you can do to help yourself and take some of the pressure off. Don't judge yourself or feel guilty for depression. Depression comes w/ free floating guilt. It's a symptom, but at I did find a way to not let myself give in to the guilt or believe I deserved, and the guilt at least stopped. When it tries to come back, which is more rare now, it's that much easier to push away very quickly, because I've trained myself to refuse to believe it. This is a heavy illness and I'm not going to make it any worse by feeling guilty I have it. I was able to reason if I had heart disease or diabetes, I wouldn't feel guilty for that. The other thing is to practice gratitude for all sorts of little things that we tend to take for granted. I've somewhat disabled, but I had a friend who was in a fire, and the extent of her disabilities was off the charts. it made me see all the things I can do that she couldn't that I took for granted. She needed home support just to bath, and she would be breathless just walking to another room. She needed walker to go out in her car. She just passed away, but she was my mascot to teach me grace in suffering, and she trusted God for every move she made.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 "Don't judge yourself or feel guilty for depression"
But you should feel quilty for what you are eating, because it is causing your depression in the first place - sugar and other plant nonsense (especially vegetables high in oxalates such as spinach or almonds) and the lack of red meat and animal fat are the primary causes of depression....
@@btudrus That is not science my friend. Not by a long shot.
I’m so grateful for this content. I’ve been watching lots of mental health videos…this channel finally popped into my feed. Thank you
Everything you said made sense to me and I now understand why I feel so desperately low at times. I'm glad you popped up today and I listened and heard, have taken on board everything you've said and hopefully, and that's the key word, "hope", I can make what you've advised work. Thank you SO much ❤
I firmly believe when the student is ready the teacher appears. I learned that a long time ago in AA. I have watched a whole lot of videos on CZcams to help myself (five lifetimes full) but I must say, I'm really glad you can actually relate to the depths of despair from severe depression along with having usable answers. Thank you
I'm not doing anything because it is so hard being anxious about the before and having anhedonia during an "exciting" event. Since the only thing left is the future, and because it's difficult to even care about the future, motivation feels almost impossible. I have a concert coming up with a couple of my favorite bands playing. I'm no longer excited. I have a trip to Japan, which i've dreamed of since 11 coming up next year. No longer excited. And I'm thinking about just selling my tickets for the concert. But if I experience ahedonia when visiting a place that has held so much meaning to me all these years.. I don't know what I'll do. It's scary knowing logically that something is supposed to bring you joy but you can't feel that joy. I hope my medicine and therapy help me to experience real joy again before then, but I need to remind myself that I will be glad I went on this trip in the future. I'll be glad that I fulfilled one of my longest held dreams.
Thank you for your videos. I like the way you explain things a lot.
You put it into words & context that makes perfect sense!
Especially the anxiety leading up to an event you’re looking forward to, & pushing thru something you don’t feel like you can do & reaping the benefit later.
Subscribed! I needed the three videos I watched from your channel today, and finally understand why I am reacting to my life the way I currently am. Last spring I made a big change in my life; it was so hard, yet I got through the rough start to a new life alone with the help of my two grown children. I am still reeling from that change, and have searched for help to understand my emotions and lack of truly enjoying life. While I have spoken with a therapist, she has not explained things as clearly as you have.
I have more work to do to heal and get on with my life, though I feel I finally understand: brain “frozen” - yep, that’s me currently, that darn amygdala “protecting” my, etc. All good stuff, and for the first time in my life I understand my brain better. I will look to good experiences from the past, and draw both joy and strength from them. I appreciated your story about your diving trip with your dad. It illustrated that we can look back and enjoy things we have experienced in a whole new and better way. THANK YOU!
I feel blessed to have found your CZcams channel!
I didn't know there was a name for this. Talk about social media being in my brain, because your videos were suddenly suggested to me as I am currently navigating grief from personal loss while still always balancing my pre-existing anxiety + depression. Just hearing you has given me so much comfort and insight, and actually allowed me to finally cry/release a bit. This makes so much sense and very much sheds light on this state of numbness I've fluctuated in for years. While I've always managed and worked hard on getting myself through these dips, this additional information will help in developing more/better methods of coping. Thank you SO MUCH for your words and advice.
I feel something. I feel just angry all the time. anger toward world and human kind
I was just thinking about this the other day and I am so glad there is a word for it! its true, even if I didn’t enjoy the “thing” in the moment, I often look back on it later and I am able to see what was good about the experience. Which I couldn’t see at the time because of how I was feeling, but later on, I can then recall what was good about it.
Thank you thank you thank you! This and other videos of yours that I’ve watched have helped me to understand myself better than all of the therapy, medications etc over about a 50 year period! I am 68 years old and learning so much about myself and growing from this new knowledge. It’s never too late!!!❤️
I resonate with this. In my mid-twenties, and this year has been one sucker punch to the gut after the other. Honestly, part of me don't feel like I ever recovered from a breakup with a live-in partner that occurred in early 2021; I've spent too much time in survival mode since then. Still, I have fond memories to look back on, even from 2021. My friends took care of me; we went and did stuff like hiking, aerial yoga, jumping into the ocean in 5 degrees Celcius... and now I can even look back on 2021 with a sense of fondness. Finally landed a place in an employment program this year, after being so burnt out I was disassociating while writing my dissertation. I suffer from severe imposter syndrome, literally do not feel equipped to do anything despite having spent five years of my life obtaining a degree. Do not feel like there's any place for me in the employment market, can't think of anything I want to do (or if I'd vaguely maybe enjoy it, I feel under qualified for it). Recent sucker punch came when this program to move my present supervisor over to a different program, meaning I'll get a new person. I got so well along with this dude... and I'm left with the same dàmn feeling as always; nothing good ever lasts, it's all gonna be taken away from me eventually, so why even try?
Luckily, I have friends now who understand what I'm dealing with (in terms of burnout and chronic stress, at least). And they're still happy to hang out, and drag me along to various events. I also have an incredibly ingrained gym routine that I'm sticking to, not because it gives me joy atm but simply because it's been what I've done every week for more than a year straight now. Hoping some day in the future, it might pay off.... right now is an awful shit show, though, and part of me just wanna crash and burn. I feel like I'm screaming into the void, and all the resources that are there to (allegedly) "help me" are neglecting me....
This made me cry, Thank you.💛
I could never explain or even realised there is a word for this but it's sad I've had this many times and never understood it. I think the most important point you said was that it isn't easy, happy experiences won't immediately fix you or cure you. It's a process, and I do hope some day I am a healthier version of myself because, I'm now in my early 20s and most of life is a blur even though my family travelled and I made so many memories all I think about are negative stuff.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this and genuinely wanting to help people.
You have no idea how much validated I feel seeing your videos. I have talked to some therapist and they have not been able to help/ understand me, so I withdrew from it....I feel depression have so many levels that I seem to acknowledge I might reach another stage just when too much time have passed.... videos like yours help to navigate which stage might be affecting me and others so we could prepare or possibly lessen the impact of it.
I really appreciate you and other psychologists on CZcams who give this very valuable information at no charge. I have suffered from anhedonia and didn't fully know how to articulate it until now. Anytime I would think about doing art, I would get a sense of dread and a sense that I was wasting my time because I no longer got pleasure from doing those things anymore. But the part about the future really made sense to me and it has motivated me to apply this info.
As both a professional and a person who experiences both depression and anxiety I am finding your videos very helpful. You have a wonderful way of explaining not so easy concepts. I will be sending my clients to your content as well. Thanks for being here.
WOW !!! You put so much effort into conveying this process. This is honestly the only time someone has detailed to me the importance of actually going through with activities. I have a difficult time during the planning and often during the actual event that makes it feel like it is just "too much". But you are absolutely correct. I can look back and appreciate some of the events I took part in! I now see that even if I don't "feel " like having an adventure now, I might be able to experience an eventual positive recall. It makes sense. We are often times defeated before we even start. This gives us hope and a reason to keep trying. Thank you 😂. Not all psychologists should be. You NEED to be . You put such thought into this presentation.
This was so amazing to hear!!! I thought I was not ok..Because I knew I should be feeling joy at certain times. And yet I was numb. I felt alone and ashamed for not being able to feel at the moment. Later in life thinking about the experience. I felt a little joy from it. I went years not getting help because i just didn't understand Depression and Anxiety. Watching your videos are so insightful. Finally someone can actually put these feelings into words that many of us can not express. Thank You!
Your videos are the best. I never realised this until you pointed it out. I had a bad period for a while and when I look back on the memories I still had some good times that I like to remember even though at the time I know I was dying inside.
Hi Scott, this is Jeff in Wisconsin. This video made a great amount of sense to me. Gosh I wish I had you around to tell me this in my earlier life ( I'm now 80 YO). I can tell you now that I will look at events and experiences in my life in the framework you presented. Thank you very much !
Thank you. So much resonates with me. Both as a teen... and 40+ years later as a late mid-life male navigating the work force feeling so numb at times.
Your videos are very helpful. Thank you so much for this information and I'm happy to be a new subscriber🙂
As many have over the past few years, I've been going through a rough time where mostly all I do is scroll on my phone, go to work, and go to the gym. Social events have less appeal, even family events don't do much for me, even though I know that these times are special. I like the idea you gave of doing them anyway, even if I don't feel the right emotions during the experience. I've been passing on so many things that I used to enjoy (concerts, social events, travel opportunities, dates) that I don't have much to look back on with joy from 2021-2023. (2020, though it was hard, was very memorable in good and bad ways). I want to change that by just saying YES to opportunities and making myself go. Thanks for the great video!
Hello Dr. Scott
I have watched 2 of your videos tonight (I'm from Montreal, Canada) and honestly, every word you have spoken, explained and examples you have provided, especially in this video, totally resonates with me. I understand to the depth of my being what you are putting out there for us to grasp.
I have been "into" self help for decades. Since June/July 2022, something occurred taking me by surprise. This changed the trajectory of my life...... completely. Your video on the 2 kinds of grief, normal & ambiguous, could not have explained any clearer of what & how I was feeling, and how those ebbs & flows are certainly present, even at this moment.
I am looking forward to watching your other videos. Thank you for the subjects you choose to discuss with us. I am grateful to have found your channel. Very appreciative indeed 🙏
Thank you for making me realise what had recently been going on with me. You did a fantastic job of explaining this. Thank you.
Thank you for your videos! Can't express how much you have helped me understand myself and thank you for the tools you give for change. You are a blessing!
Thank you for all of your videos man. I’m struggling with a lot, and your videos give me hope and I believe it also gives me the necessary knowledge to think with a little more nuance.