Meghan Daum Wants Women to Stop Silencing Themselves | Episode 165
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- čas přidán 23. 05. 2024
- Sasha and Stella sit down with the multifaceted Meghan Daum, distinguished author, cultural commentator, and fellow podcast host, for a compelling exploration of societal change, the complexities of modern life, and coping through humor. Known for her incisive commentary and fearless exploration of complex topics, Meghan shares her personal reflections on identity and the central and contentious nature of gender in modern culture.
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You asked why so many people are interested in the gender topic? For me it happened in 2019, when i saw the 2 trans kids in Connecticut winning all the track meets. They were on Tamrons's talk show talking about "inclusivity' for transgenders. But i thought, what about fairness for the girls?
Those runners had an impact in me, too!
17/18/19 year olds in Sydney have started saying I’m just a woman - sometimes masculine sometimes feminine. I think it’s over. 😊
I saw Team America World Police in theatres in 2004 in Canada. The entire theatre of young people (20s/30s) was losing it laughing hysterically for the full movie. I could barely see the screen through my tears of laughter. It’s sad to think about how “offended” and humourless the crowd may be today.
I had the same experience. I actually showed part of it (a very small portion with the "panthers") to my class as part of a discussion about how breaking cultural norms can be a way of rebelling. This was in 2015, and about half the class couldn't get over how "inappropriate" and "problematic" the humor was. I tried to explain to them that they needed to turn off their inner censor and try to experience the film (and the books we read for class) as people within a repressive society would, but most couldn't let go of their self-repression. It was weird.
If you trans your child, you will never back down
Some parents do back down
I believe both of you tell some truth. The investment and guilt will make it less likely, but not impossible. And the motivations for why parents transed their kids are different. Those who had children who were already mentally struggling and were hoping medical professionals could help rather then harm their children have a different outlook then those who were in liberal circles and did it for status or whatever.
it is one of the most horrible instances of confirmation bias i've ever seen.
@@nethamoor7036 usually these 2 motivations coexist
I also have a German last name. I'm 65 years old, and I've been correcting people on the pronunciation of it all my life. I don't mind and I won't give in!
i gave you a thumbs up because i love a stubborn old bastard. When we decide something is either done right or done wrong, only a moral fool or a lazy person can choose to do the wrong thing! As a man once said, when in doubt, do whats right! :)
I tried to go the Unspeakeasy event in Louisville but it was $1600. I don’t know how we can claim to be building safe spaces and community for gender critical women but price people out like that. The constant subscriber-only communities and tithing to the heterodox elite really limits the scope of these conversations.
Also, Meghan's yearly heterodox community doesn't even include the monthly podcast. I've been opting out of listening to these talks because if I pay for three subscriptions a month that comes to almost $50 Canadian.
That is fucked up.
Exactly. I understand they need money to provide the resources required to hold the events. But the tithing you mentioned ironically contributes to the issues with elitism that they talk about since many poor people won’t be able access these ideas. 🤦♀️
I understand that people deserve to make money for their work- and setting this up from the ground up is a ton of work. Women, in particular, are often called on to work for free to be nice and to be good people. I don't want to fall into that mindset. However, the resulting problem is a real one-many are excluded due to a lack of funds, and the group's reach is limited to a small subset of people. I think the next step is to establish a volunteer-based movement in locations across the nation- and remotely- that follows the same tenets and goals. There should be training and a handbook of sorts available. It will not be easy, though, because trans activists WILL seek to disrupt the groups and will seek to expose members of the groups as transphobes. Not sure how to solve for that in a free group.
What an awesome episode! Standing up for reality and the existence of objective truth. I think that's why this topic is so important to me, as well as, the belief that women are equal to men while different.
About the lack of humor in woke and radical trans activists (and some CZcamsrs): You see, they can't display or employ humor because it's inevitable that the certitude of their veneer/armor would be shattered by the power of self-deprecation. And that would expose the fatal flaws of their ideology, which leaves them defenseless.
i lost my best friend of over twenty years who i had also moved across the country and lived with for over a decade over politics, particularly covid and gender ideology. he really took the cultish propaganda of cutting everyone out of his life that didn't agree with his ideology to heart. and i definitely felt gaslit and like this movement took a lot from me. in the past two years i'm glad to find sane people in the gender space that still value truth and biology and free speech. so sad how authoritarian and homogenous our culture has become. i started speaking up and lost more friends and communities but glad to find new people who actually still value the truth in this age of dogma and suppression.
I loved it when we were able to have different views and opinions and we were able to discuss it without people getting offended over it.😔😔
Did you make it clear that you still liked your friend and wanted to continue the friendship and be “there for” your friend, even though you didn’t agree on everything? Because OF COURSE people will cut you out of their lives if you don’t act as a good friend does!
@@terry9238 - It was the friend with the delusional, cult ideology that became hateful and REJECTED his friend.
Lovely to see you all together. I particularly enjoyed the discussion of names and, also, of humor. Cheers.
This conversation was marvelous medicine for me & I so needed it.
I loved this episode. My sister and I (both in our 60)- regularly laugh at ourselves and how we were as children and teenagers. Humour is so important and it does feel great when you own your foibles and giggle. During times of anxiety though that can be very hard. People do need to find a safe space to be irreverent, truthful and laugh. Thank you Ladies. ❤🇬🇧
Great! 2 of my favourite channels meet!
I love the YT channels and podcasts of Amala Ekpunobi and "The Comment Section With Brett Cooper"! Two early 20s, intelligental young women! I do notice they get a lot of comments by teenagers, especially on The Comment Section By Brett Cooper! Those two are definitely for biological women's rights!
On the aside in the start...
I called myself Raven at 14 & 3Raven by 18. I'm now 49 & still 3Raven.
Spoiler alert.. I'm against this Mass psychosis of gender ideology. As a child I saw the Adult World saying girl is this and boy is that but I guess I've always been a bit Buddhist thinking I am neither but I am consciousness. This whole presenting and transitioning business is about other people's opinions. I wish people could just be happy with them self and their opinion of them self. And just be and not be boys and girls but just alive and happy. You can dress a boy up to look like a girl but you can also dress a boy up to be hyper masculine and another kind of caricature. Madness!
Oh yeah and I'm gay. A Gay male really fucking happy! Gay is Okay!
Trans is antiGay and anti Woman.
Have you ever seen someone and wished you would have been friends with them when you were kids? That's Stella, for me. I think we would have had a grand old time. Sorry. Random thoughts.
Amazing conversation. 💛
Why has everyone been talking about their last names for what seems like 15 minutes now-and why should we care?
Regarding stand up - many of the most successful women comedians are lesbians. Not sure how that fits into the gender conversation, but I've wondered about this before.
I have been a high school English teacher for 24 years and have had a difficult time developing relationships with women. I was very close to my father, but my mother was very critical throughout my entire life. I could never please her no matter what I did. I had one brother, and when I got married, I had three sons who are now grown and live independent lives. I have been surrounded with men my entire life, and whenever I try to establish relationships with women, it NEVER works out. I find women mean and back-biting, especially in education. It is a nightmare and can create a hostile work environment. Women are very clickish and talk about people behind their backs. There definitely mean girls out there. This can create a very lonely existence. I find men much easier to relate to and have very good relationships with my three sons. I have been a widow for 20 years and raised my sons as a single mother. I often feel silenced because, whenever I do speak up or speak the truth, it doesn't go well, especially in today's environment. Women often gang up on other women and try to get them fired.
I know what you mean - both my mother and I had these struggles! Multiple decades into my life I learned about autism in women & I got diagnosed w/ autism & adhd. I realized in retrospect that my whole family on my Mom's side was neuro-divergent in varying degrees. My Mom & her brother were textbook aspergars (Not PC but still has descriptive value as word).
Anyway - I learned earlier on in life to identify the type of women and men I could relate to, and who would accept me. It helped to have moved around a lot and study human behavior. There are good women out there that will accept you as you are 😊
I have rarely been bullied in real life as an adult. I have learned to play the social game. Mostly though I enjoy my solitude & close friendships.
It’s a radical idea, I know, but I’ve wondered if there might be an as-yet-unexplored solution to the “preferred pronouns: to use or not to use” dilemma faced by many gender critical writers and public speakers trying to balance not wanting to participate in or legitimise a harmful lie with a desire not only to be compassionate to vulnerable people, but also to be politically effective (as opposed to just being “right”) which usually requires some degree of diplomacy and compromise.
Speakers of Hungarian and Finnish (to name just two of several examples) don’t have this problem, because their pronouns aren’t gendered to begin with, and when you think about it, there’s absolutely no logical reason why third-person pronouns should be gendered, any more than first and second person ones. We don’t have a “you” for a male person and a different one for a female person. We don’t have a different form of “I/me” depending on what sex WE are. The existence of other languages that get along perfectly well without them demonstrate that gendered pronouns really have no particular utility. And yet, by a quirk of history, the particular language we speak makes it virtually impossible, unless we twist ourselves into tortuous linguistic knots, to speak about someone in the third person without obliquely referencing what kind of genitals they have / want to have every time we refer to them in passing (a fact about them that will either be already known, or completely irrelevant, or both, in virtually any context in which we may want to speak of them)
If we were to borrow the third person pronoun from one of those other languages, and use it for everyone, regardless of whether they are trans-identified or not, the same way it is used in the original language, we would (a) not be participating in or legitimising the lie that a person is the opposite sex, and (b) could not be accused by any person or institution of “misgendering” anybody, because we wouldn’t be referencing their gender at all.
We are not changing the English language to give one inch to these malevolent lunatics on the woke left who want people like us in prison, and worse.
And trust me, they do.
Joanna Lumley - model, and comedy actress [Absolutely Fabulous] considered both very actractive and hilarious will into middle age.
Two reasons why I'm drawn to the gender topic - and I'm sure these are common. 1. I was a tomboy, and it was accepted and just fine in the era of "Free to Be You and Me." When I had kids, I saw the massively increased role of consumerism for kids and the role of marketing gender. 2. I am able to look back and see the ways that women were affected by bogus trendy medical treatments - multiple personality disorder, lobotomies, diet pills, hysteria, and so much more. We are seeing this one unfold in real time.
130 in and Stella described exactly why I detransitioned
Did you get a new mic or something Sasha, your voice sounds very different in this recording?
Five minutes before we were scheduled to record, Sasha's power went out so she had to do the episode from her phone. Not idea but you know what they say... "the show must go on!" Sound will be back to normal next week.
She sounds like a teenager!!
I hears Stella say film instead of filum 😂
Can you get investigative journalist, Jennifer Bilek on the show?? That'd be really interesting!!
When you talked about how "Bitchy Women" may be blamed for driving cancel culture it made me think of the whole "Karen" meme. Maybe the spread of this caricature is somehow related, a "Cancel Karen" boogeywoman.
and "TERF". Men are not targeted in the same way.
@@QHarbin There are unpleasant stereotypes applied to women. Men get them too though.
I hate that "Karen" meme. They even it against men, calling them female Karens.
@@siobhannoble8545 Yeah. Sometimes though you run into someone who begs that label.
I get the thing about names. I married my second husband nine years ago and while he really wants me to, I've yet to change my surname. I never did for my first marriage, and my ex husband took my name for complicated reasons, so it didn't matter. I know it's not that important anymore anyway, and a lot of women don't, but my husband would like me to, and I'm very uncomfortable with it.
My abusive ex-husband would always tell me I was Jacobs(his last name), and I hated it! The day after I got the divorce papers, I went to the Social Security office and gave them all the info to get my name switched back to my maiden name. Within a couple days, I had my name switched back on every thing. It was pretty simple. Nothing wrong with that last name, but I didn't want to be associated with him anymore. Thank god I didn't have kids with him.
Comedy has been heavily policed since the 2010's. "Can We Take A Joke" (2016) documents this.
I've often thought about this especially when testifying against proposed laws. That the proponents and legislators must think of me as some sort of anti-gay bigot because you can tell they think of "trans" in the exact same way that they view gay. As some sort of intrinsic condition that is something you're just born as. I hate it, but it won't keep me from speaking out.
@1:05:35 Anthony Jeselnik and Iliza Shlesinger are both physically attractive comedians.
I live in a non-English speaking country so I just have to accept and realistic that the phonetics of my name are going to change slightly...though it still really is the same name. I'd say it's badically the same with Daum. My name is Eric and I know 4 slight changes in its pronunciation.
1:08 why choose from only two ways to pronounce Daum (/dɔːm/, /dɑ͡ʊm/) when you could also pronounce it /ˈde jəm/ (sort of like "damn" with a twang, or DAY-um)?
If this comment seems to contain duplicative language or content IT'S BECAUSE I FORGOT I ALREADY TRIED TO MAKE THIS COMMENT.
But this time I tried to use IPA, so. There.
9:19 you could pronounce Daum as if french ~ "dome"
Or, you could pronounce it day-um. 😎
It's great to see Meghan with you guys
One of my frustrations is that leftist groups have gone full focus on identity and libertine sexual practices instead of workers’ rights. I love that gender critical groups are growing, but the amount of right wingers running these groups alienates me a second time.
Yes, admit you made a mistake. Hug the cactus!
Ruin the dinner party, ladies.
The ladies have been watching some Jordan Peterson.
In 2023 I saw two interviews about trans women in women's sports. And twice I saw trans people say it did not matter if it was fair to "CIS" women. Neither got push back. I was floored.
Ricky Gervais laughs at this nonsense
There has to be a way to introduce humor into trans/gender stuff. I imagine it can be done through some Seinfeldian approach by pointing out the annoying and petty minutiae of life, or by using self-deprecating and toilet humor: All men are body dysmorphic to some extent because we all believe our penises should be larger; Don't buy surgery scar removal creams online...I bought one tube of Skinuva a few weeks ago, and now I get a hundred ads in my email every day; I got cut from my college hockey team so I decided to take a testosterone blocker and join my school's field hockey team...I wish someone had told me I didn't need to wear skates, I was pretty embarrassed when I showed up at tryouts.
Definitely check out Arielle Isaac Norman's comedy special on CZcams!
@@widerlenspod Yeah, good special. She's not uptight, good self-deprecating humor.
Loved this episode.
You can pronounce proper nouns however you want to. Your name can be spelled J-O-E J-O-N-E-S, and you can pronounce it as "Mordechai Goldfarb."
Nikki Glaser? She's super hot and is hilarious.
Sounds like 'dumb', right?
Geez, Sasha, what's wrong with your mic? Are you trying to alter your voice? It's really annoying and distracting.
Sorry for the tech issues. Sasha lost power that day and had to use her phone. Sometimes stuff like that happens but we charge ahead the best we can so the show can go on!