FREEZE Response
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- čas přidán 11. 03. 2024
- Do you ever have days where you LITERALLY can’t get out of bed?
There’s a good chance you experienced a ‘Freeze Response’
It’s a psychological response to life’s overwhelming stressors, and it’s more common than you think.
Listen to my FULL breakdown of Freeze Responses, including how to navigate them, AND how to help a loved one who also might be experiencing one.
👉 • Why You Shut Down Some...
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But I do care.
.. awful feeling to be stuck
13 years. Started after my divorce. This guy is the first that explains why!
Crying and frozen when my hubby came home today. He said "Just take my hand. That's all you've got to do. Just take my hand." I did. Next thing you know I was able to take a shower.
Literally me right now. I've completely shut down to where I'm feeling numb
Same 😢
Can relate
I compose and record my own music as a hobby. It's about the only thing I truly enjoy, but right now I can't even work up the motivation to pick up one of my guitars and plug it in. Many of the problems making me feel this way are not entirely in my control.
Same
U not alone. Celebrate that u were able to watch this and to post a msg. I just watched the whole episode. He might have saved my life.
Terrible to feel this way.
Not me watching this while bed rotting, things I need to do piling up to overwhelming proportions. I have to work, do laundry and cook for my family. So I do those things and nothing else gets done. Nothing. Just finding the strength/motivation to wash my hair is a victory! I do celebrate even the small tasks that I occasionally mark off my list, but the totality of what’s left to do is still so overwhelming. Forget about enjoyable activities, those are too far down the list and I frankly don’t care enough to even be interested most days. I think I need to get at the root of the cause of my freeze response. Spoiler alert: it’s my narcissistic mother. Now to figure out how to work through it and get past it. It’s hard to even have energy to get counseling when you’re in freeze mode.
Watching videos about the subject has helped. If you are a praying person, then pray for God's guidance. He will direct your path.💝🙏💝
Counseling doesn't help
Just create a great distance to your mother. I know how bad narcissists are to your health. It will get better!
Thank you so much for emphasising the freeze response and the importance of others acknowledging how incapacitating it is. Everyone talks about fight or flight, but freeze is just as common.
I have been in a freeze response quite often....Severe Depression will do that.
Being married to a Narcissistic/Triathlete doesn't help.... When my condition is very severe, I get a full on Migraine for days. My mind & body shut down. I must be in silence and darkness, lots of water 💧, no food, sometimes for days. My mind shuts down.
I just never knew what name it was called. Thank you🙏🏼
I haven't had a headache in 22 years. learning how to do reiki might help you?? no guarantees.
Dr. Scott, I can't wait until the day when I can be one of the people in the comments thanking you for helping me overcome so much.
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But right now, it looks pretty grim. My partner killed herself 10 months ago and I'm struggling to put one foot in front of the other, or to even *want* to. I don't leave my house anymore - hell, I barely leave my couch - and it's all I can do to not join her. If it weren't for my dogs, I already would have.
No response requested or expected from anyone. I'm just just screaming into the void. Not even really screaming anymore, so much as a hoarse stage whisper.
Exit stage right.
Robodie, I sure hope you can be one of the people saying thanks in the comments one day. I'm hoping for that, too - different circumstances, but also trying so hard to keep going.
This quote has been surfacing in my head lately, reminding me I haven't given up -- which is strangely comforting: "But what we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope." The writer George Eliot. Maybe it will help you. Either way... I hear you. Hang in.
I get it. At this point, you don’t even feel capable of “seeking a mental health professional” (people act like it’s so easy, but I know it’s not). I know it’s hard, but try to be kind to yourself- you do deserve it, no matter what you’ve done or haven’t done. I know it probably sounds Herculean, but try to do just one thing for yourself today, even if it’s just brushing your teeth before bed. Maybe tomorrow, take a shower. Doing these simple, but strangely difficult things for myself helps me feel more human and allows me to attempt more difficult things.
Robodie, I don't know you, but please hang in there. I know it's hard and it's dark down there in the bottom of the pit. I've been down there, a few times- not exactly the same circumstances, but I can still empathize with being so low you sometimes feel like you have to take life hour by hour or even minute by minute rather than day by day and it feels like this misery will never end and you wonder if you have the strength to keep going. I understand the feeling that merely surviving another day feels empty, hollow, directionless, not enough and not feeding your soul which feels like a gaping void or black hole lives there and swallows up every bit of light and good. I know how cruel it feels, when everything has come crashing down around you, that the world keeps going while you're at a standstill.
Please know that I am sending you strength and rooting for you. Who knows what is in store for your life in the future that if you check out early, you might miss something great. It might not be now and it might take a while, but I hope one day you can look back and see progress and look forward and see a glimmer of light ahead. Don't let hope die, as tiny an ember as it may be.
Be kind, compassionate and gentle to yourself as you would be to a dear friend who was struggling as you are. This, too, shall pass. I know it sucks, but feel the feelings when they happen, acknowledge them as valid, give them their time on the stage, then when you're ready, gently show them out and don't ruminate or let them overstay.
And, hey, if you've made it all the way through this novel and thought, "wow, that's super dark, my life isn't *that* bad", then take heart and be encouraged by that! 😅 But if it sounds all too familiar and relatable, know that you're not alone, that others have been where you are and made it through- the only way out is through- and take courage from that. You can do this. You will heal.
@@FeldringWhat a great quote! Thanks for sharing that. I'm gonna write that down so I can revisit it when I need it.
I understand You. I totally understand You, believe me. When I lost my beloved Ones, I survived by attuning myself spontaneously and instinctively with everything and people I met. Don't be alone. Just please ask for help, even to Yourself. ❤ Sorry for my poor English that prevents me to express proper words. ❤
Stacking small wins, I intuitively feel that that’s the solution to my depression. I’ve felt that for years. Haven’t figured out how to implement it though.
Same.. I always compare myself with other people but trying to focus more on myself and small wins but it's hard😢 I bought a journal and maybe I should write down the things that go well, like 'going for a walk' 'went to the gym' 'made a painting' etc. I looked for help recently and the therapist asked me what my day planning was and in my head if feels like nothing, irrelevant but she wrote it down on a board and asked me to look at it and realise that it's not nothing especially dealing with anxiety and depression and feeling stuck... but I just don't feel it like that.
Set a small, achievable goal; at least write one word a day if that's all you can do. Get the act of arm movement to paper a daily habit. When you go to bed, write down things that you did that are positive or that you're grateful for, even if the only thing you can think of is brushing your teeth.
Feeling this so hard.
I made a poster board for post-it notes for a to-do list. Whenever a task intrudes in my thoughts, I make a post-it for the task and put it up.
Then I pick 1-3 tasks for the day. As I do them, I move them to the bottom - I don't just throw them away just yet.
This has been a game changer. But I fell off the wagon and I need to revive this to-do board.
@@kikijewell2967 I do a to-do list as well. There’s no way I could keep everything in my head but usually I do until I have like 5 tasks to write down and they are not letting me be swirling in my head. I cross out the done items on the to do list. My list is numbered. I like that the number goes up. The increasing number represents the accomplishment because there’s no way we can remember everything that has been done it just fades and you feel like you haven’t done much but the number keeps you honest. I’ve done hundreds of tasks since I started the list. I don’t remember almost any of them by the number doesn’t lie, I’ve done hundreds of things.
The smallest victory on some hard days can be just eating, or just getting outside to take a walk. The key is smallest victory and that is in consideration of what level you are operating at.
Been almost 20 yrs & DAILY I still clearly see the playout of a co-worker trying to get me out of one. He didn't even raise his voice (to anyone), but said "we heard you were supposed to be so great, but we haven't seen that." I was a dept transfer that as he said had done very well in my previous dept, just COMPLETELY overwhelmed in the new one.
Those words never left me, even when I moved on & was finding success in another job. Whether falling or being shoved, later found myself @ my life's lowest point & frozen again. His words didn't just echo, but screamed. Apparently they're attached to air molecules because I can't get one without the other. Used to be crazy over the J Giles song "Freeze Frame" as a kid & teen. Great personal anthem for me.
That's very rough. You can move past that replay over and over.
I just read a blog post by Eric Barker (I hope that's how you spell his name) that came into my email this morning.
It was about what to do when your brain giving you these thoughts that you don't need or want. IT IS SO GOOD, what he wrote. Please go look at the blog if you can find it. I even re-wrote most of it in my journal, trying to note the best pieces. I think the piece has something like "intrusive thoughts" in the title.
And he's a really good/entertaining read. While really good instructions.
Please figure out something. You don't deserve to hear that message for so long.
Well if everyone's wondering if it actually work, I don't want to write a whole paragraph here about my life of why small habits no matter how small works, But it does. In conclusion, a small habit can make sense once they were put together. I don't tolerate pushing yourself too much because i also tried doing that and It was the cause of my freeze response trauma. So i think small tiny habits is more healthier.
Tiny habit like washing the pizza cutter wheel thing immediately after using it because it's so much harder when stuff gets dried on it? Because I think that's literally about the only positive habit I have right now, and the only clean thing in my kitchen.
If only I were joking...
@@Robodie Clear out the sink, scrub it down, and aim to wash just one sinkload a day. If it doesn't get done, drain the sink and start over the next day. It helps to not wake up to a dirty sink. Hang in there. Baby steps.
I’m sitting at a bus station in Tanzania, it’s 1996. A man comes up to me to talk, he says: you look really bored. I wasn’t. I was frozen. In stress.
Yes been here in a freeze for a long time.
Can you do a longer video of this, please❤ I'm really trying to do this stacking small victories in my life all day today. Baby steps, ❤I know.
He did
You’re impact is profound. You make me feel not alone and…not as much of a failure. You are truly doing God’s work. Bless you.
Been there, still there quite a bit
You lost me. Who is going to stack those little victories? The person in the freeze? That person cannot stack, and with all due respect, not everyone HAS other people to even notice.
I understand your perspective and frustration. I've been there.
But, yes, it is up to the person in the freeze to recognize, acknowledge and celebrate their own tiny victories.
It's nice if a person has someone to help them in this journey, but, as you said, some don't have anyone. But whether you have someone or not, it's not up them to "notice". It's up to the individual to notice, acknowledge, appreciate and celebrate one's own small victories- and I'm talking tiny. Make an exaggeratedly big deal out of the tiniest, most mundane of daily accomplishments like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, or if even those are too much, celebrate getting out of bed, eating some food, drinking some water, or, hell, even just sitting up in bed.
Yes, I've had days that low. If you can celebrate gathering the motivation to sit up, then maybe that can lead to dragging yourself to the bathroom, then you can build on that and brush those teeth, have a glass of water, maybe wash your face or maybe even take a shower.
Use each little thing as a springboard and momentum for the next, but it's crucial to really give yourself credit for doing those little but hard but important things and not try to overdo it or push too hard. Yes, it sucks and it's not fair that it's so stupidly hard, but we can't change that. What we can change is our perspective and expectations, and have some grace for ourselves when everything is just too hard and too much.
It has to come from inside. No one else can do this for us. Best wishes and strength on your journey. You're not alone. You can do this.
I'm in stacking mode many days, and I takes such a huge difference.
HealthyGamerGG has talked about the feeling of paralysis when you’re overwhelmed as actually being caused by tiredness being a response to an overwhelming task, rather than it being akin to the acute freeze response when you’re in danger. So like, to protect you from doing too much work towards something that might not yield rewards, our body has an evolutionary mechanism to make us feel acutely tired when we think about an overwhelming task or set of tasks. It’s also why people say that some people make them tired, because they feel overwhelmed by having to deal with them. I think it makes sense for me more than a freeze response
Thank you so much.
Thank you doc
Cleaning my car is always the first accomplishment and that usually gets me motivated 😊
Dr. Scott, OMG
He has helped me so much. I cannot build my bridge to healing when it collapses, just need to heal my brain
You are a therapist that everyone needs. Thank you sir.
Thank you 💗
This is so accurate
after an entire year of avoiding paying something important, I finally called and made the first step and paid some stuff off. It feels good and immediately gets me somewhat out of my freeze state, it’s motivating and makes me realize all my stress can be gone if I just slowly one by one tackle the payments and other decisions I have to make in my life. If you’re reading this and are also in a freeze state with stuff piling up, I promise making that first step, big or small, is going to immediately make you feel on top of the world. I’m rooting for ya!
Yes, it makes it worse!!!! Listen to this guy people!!!!
This is me to a tee. I hate my life right now. Some people in My life think I should be able to just catch up and don't understand how I feel. They don't work and they have all kinds of time to whittle away at their projects. Me -it is just me. No one to help me move things or use as a sounding board. I have tried life coaches (What a joke); medication. You are spot on but I do not celebrate, it is part of the problem. When I start to smile something makes a wall come up and I can't smile. Not sure why
Nods continually*
This makes sense why I need so many little treats 😢
Thank you for this- I have just recently become aware of being in a freeze response and looking at what is creating it. It’s stress and overwhelm. I am trying to do small things and my house is getting organized and clean, or run an errand but that’s seems to be the only thing I can do. I’m getting better because I can even socialize a few times a week. But, it’s the creating income projects (that are very cool and I’m excited about) that I can’t seem to start. It’s very frustrating and weird.
This is me right now. Just can't find a reason to get up, to do. No interest in anything. I sometimes think I have lived past my expiration date
😂 So weird, my screen froze when you first started speaking. I was like, uh, is this part of the talk about freezing 😄
Been there recently. I was asked was I happy with my job and did I feel it was a good fit. That particular day was the wrong day for those questions. All I could manage was "I don't know." Now I'm having to decide what the answer will be this week for my 60 day review at work.
My parents did this to me for like 20 years
Yesterday I wasn't able to move my body to get up and do my school works, but I had no shame. That's what I think ease it a bit, but yeah it sucks not being able to get them done. Though I am able to finally move now and shower so it's an achievement still for fighting an invisible battle. Don't forget how strong y'all are, and it takes time to be okay. It does :)
So I tried your tip of making a big deal out of any accomplishment, and im surprised I felt better. I was a little skeptical. I went on to clean my bathroom top to bottom today. That's huge for me. Go me!!!
Thank you so much ❤
I am buried by stress and in a freeze and I work 10 hrs a day
Noo, Dr. That is not an AI pic. You are far more jacked.
You gotta set up rewards for putting in effort to complete task and or etc.
Thank you 🥹🙏
I don’t even remember anymore how to live proper life 😭 I need help
Thank you for this.
Being reminded of the consequences if you don't do your tasks is not a great motivator. That works better in shows and movies to have one of the characters remind the audience what's at stack for the other character that's frozen. I feel so much pressure when I'm reminded of the consequences of not doing my tasks that I freeze up and wish I could disappear from existence because it's all too much. Fear is a horrible motivator
Feeling nothing at all. Except anxiety, it's there 24/7
Not only. I freeze in dangerous situations.
I’ve been stacking small wins for a long time and I’m still stuck in freeze. All of the advice I have found about helping or getting out of the freeze response, I am already doing and it’s not helping.
Yesterday I froze up. I hate that. Too much stress.
And... offering help also works, help plan execution of tasks, encouragement, relating to the situation by giving examples of how you did it(w/o patronizing or belittling them)and give empathy/emotional support.
Right there, in sheer terror
Thank you 🙏🏻
Spot on!! ❤
I have felt frozen for 6-7 years. Seems that knowing precisely where im going what to do and how long i have and how long it will take has put me on track. Goth Bosch Incarnate...March 21st, 1965 to March 19th 2029. Been asking the question for 23 years or so....
Is there a short on the freeze response when you are confronted by someone and your face goes cold, breath gets shallow and mind goes blank and you’re unable to do anything but take it, because your brain isn’t working at all? Is there a fix to snap out of that when it’s happening?
Yes.
Baby steps.
When things are bad you take it one day at a time, but when things are HORRIBLE, you take life 5 minutes at a time.
Just make it through the day 5 more minutes.
Then repeat.
This is helpful, thank you 🙏
I’m trying to teach myself how to walk again after a work accident ten years ago. I have a chronic pain disease and I struggle with depression and anxiety, and it’s one of the hardest things ever. Some days, I just want to give up and never wake up again.
My family isn’t always helpful either. A lot of times they just tell me how hard my condition is on THEM, how big of a baby I am because I need help all the time, how they wish I could walk and live independently. Even when I work as hard as I can and push through the pain, to do all the PT I need to do, they tell me I should have done more. It gets to the point I just wanna go back to bed and never get back up.
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t trauma dump, I guess this video was kinda personal though.
All that is already going through our brains.
Frozen I am Frozen so baby steps its not fun ,i can not over think ,nor overtalk perhaps even write it down if i can do that ,love and best wishes to each of you ,i must say i feel you ❤️ 💙 💖 💕 💗 ♥️ ❤️ 💙 💖
I was going to add a comment. But, I stopped and read the comments instead and became overwhelmed with what others were saying and feeling. It saddened me quite deeply. The last one specially. I wonder how you would respond to these other group(s) on CZcams that say there is no such thing as depression and you are obviously helping people with depression and a lot more. I have been trying to reconcile this to myself for quite some time. How do you do it? And what would you say to all of us that watch and listen to you on a daily basis? Do we ignore them? Is there any truth to what they are saying? How do they look at what this country has become and make these statements? Can you please address this? I feel for this person at the end of the comments.
the only victory in life is one that's won. pretty tough if you're used to being a loser..
Yup
Me in a sit pit rn 😂
I legit will finally shower after a couple days when I’m going through it and then contemplate even putting a bra on afterwards bc it’s such a “huge” annoyance to do after a shower sometimes. And before or during the shower I contemplate doing my hair and sometimes I don’t make it in the shower I just barley change outfits and go this has been me this past month. Idk I can’t stand it either so much to do and I also can’t sleep but I can’t get myself to do it I can’t even find something interesting to end up watching on CZcams I just do legit nothing.
Wow. You just described half my personality 😂
this channel is the best, so real and accurate to my life 💕(Undertale rules!)
That’s where I am right now
THAT'S ME !!!!! 😢
I feel like I've been in a freeze response more or less for almost 4 years now, don't really know how to get back to life feeling good like it used to. Stacking small victories? Being more honest with myself and others?
Light bulb for me - procrastination is freeze response! How do u break free from a freeze response?
Getting out of bed because most days I don't feel like I can move or don't want to move don't care what anyone thinks wants or needs not my problem is there a personal problem
Need more that one like for this vid
Me right now 😢 😭
I’m coming out of it now.
What do I do for add (attention deficit disorder) this video has help with my freeze response problem now I need help to not feel hypersensitive when I’m trying to get things done. Thank you so much!
TRAUMA ABUSE CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR ABUSE CAUSED THIS IN ME DOESN'T MATTER I HAVE TO THAW OUT NO MATTER I LOVE YOU ❤️ EVEN IF YOU SAY HI WE ARE GONNA MAKE IT
Undertale music