4 Cultural Rules to Know Before Marrying Indonesian Woman

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  • čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
  • Hi Folks,
    In this video I am going to share four common cultural things you need to know before marrying Indonesian woman based on my personal observation and experience as Jakarta born and raised now living in Sydney. I'll compare and contrast it to Western perspective.
    Of course, there's no such thing as typical Indonesian woman or culture. Indonesia is a diverse country and it's impossible not apply some generalisation in 11 minutes video so please take it with massive grain of salt.
    ==Indonesian Phrases Mentioned in This Video==
    "Kumpul kebo"
    Un-married couple living together (cohabitation) or having sexual relationship outside marriage on long term or permanent basis.
    "Bibit, Bebet, Bobot"
    "Bibit" literally means seed (family background, lineage), "Bebet" (way of presenting oneself, indirect way of showing social status), "Bobot" (substance): personal quality e.g. education, job.
    "Anugerah/Karunia"
    Blessing. Kid is considered a blessing from God. However, educated Indonesians living in big cities now also recognise having kid as a huge responsibility.
    "Pengen momong cucu"
    Can't wait to cuddle grandkid. Grandkid is one of highest joys Indonesians can give to their parents. Indonesian grandparents and in-laws are generally hands-on, a big plus for marrying Indonesian woman :)
    "Meneruskan keturunan"
    Continue family lineage or having an offspring.
    "Ikut suami saja"
    Just follow the husband.
    "Nyonya rumah"
    Homemaker. This term evokes wife acting as household manager surrounded by number of servants from driver, house-maid to gardener.
    "Kepala keluarga"
    Head of the family, usually a man.
    "Imam keluarga"
    Spiritual leader of the family, again usually a man.
    "Bosen kerja? kawin aja"
    Bored of work? go and get married. Running joke that getting married will solve woman's misery.
    "Nasi goreng"
    Fried rice, one of Indonesian favourite cuisines.
    "Kartu Keluarga (KK)"
    Family Identification card containing list of family members. If one of the kids get married, he/she is required to break away from current KK and have their own.
    Please give it a Like and Subscribe if you learn something new.
    Many thanks,
    Hendra
    #Indonesianwoman #Indonesianculture #marryIndonesian #Indonesianwife #datingindonesianwoman

Komentáře • 294

  • @keldonator
    @keldonator Před rokem +51

    Got to say, everything you've said has been true in my 3 years of marriage to an Indonesian woman. It was the best decision of my life to marry my wonderful wife.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +6

      Happy to hear that! Wish your marriage stay blissful!

    • @adimardev1550
      @adimardev1550 Před rokem +5

      so lovely❤❤

    • @jamesrose6751
      @jamesrose6751 Před rokem +4

      I am in love with an Indonesian woman...a wonderful human being

    • @adimardev1550
      @adimardev1550 Před rokem +2

      @@jamesrose6751 and so am i my friend..!!! i'm the luckiest being ever exist in this universe! and so as you!

    • @lonley1753
      @lonley1753 Před rokem +2

      How do western men meet Indonesian women?

  • @gabriellakou9292
    @gabriellakou9292 Před 4 měsíci +13

    Pretty much accurate
    I'm an Indonesian.
    Even though my dad is head of family my mom is the THE NECK of family. She can turn my dad to do whatever she wanted him to do.
    My dad own a store and my mom is the supreme manager.
    Although my mom says she is only a house care taker that support her spouse😂
    Most of family's finance in Indonesia is govern by mom 😅

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 3 měsíci +2

      very true, my wife is the neck of our family hahaha

    • @thomasthomas8102
      @thomasthomas8102 Před měsícem

      The man is the head but the woman is the neck.

    • @cilikponpon
      @cilikponpon Před 2 dny

      I think depends again, my fam is similar like yours but when I jumped into society, many called it too free... when I helped my dad keeping his jewelry shop, it was shocking to know many lady customers of the shop always bring their husband along to approve which thing they want to buy. One day, a lady came bought a bracelet, 10 mins later she came back with her husband, who got angry asking her to switch for smaller bracelet. She obeyed. That is only one sample, many I met similar.
      When i started to work, my female colleagues who were married, always asking their husband's permission if they can join an event after work or not.... they say the families whose wife is acting like boss are westernized. I was shocked many times during my experience jumping to real world after my study and lived separately from my parents. I encountered many Indonesian families are still with strong patriarchism which put men as leader and women must obey without protest.

  • @onebikeawaysuperman3758
    @onebikeawaysuperman3758 Před rokem +9

    You're a good speaker. Thankyou for explaining all of this ♥️

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Thank you my friend, appreciate your kind words!

  • @zoomerr
    @zoomerr Před 6 měsíci +5

    Thanks for sharing. Your explanation was very clear. I'll share this video to my foreign friend.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Glad you find it useful:)🙏🙏

  • @stuharris2219
    @stuharris2219 Před 2 lety +19

    Hello again my friend! What another great video! After marrying an Indonesian woman 3 months ago I can see that everything you said is true! It is quite a lot to take on but I love my new wife and Indonesian family very much and I see it as an honour to be the rumah keluarga! Take care and I look forward to seeing your next videos very much!

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +3

      Congratz Stu! wish you happy and blissful marriage!! :)

    • @nettyettoy867
      @nettyettoy867 Před 2 lety +4

      Ouw such a heart warming comments.thankyou,hopefully happy for a long journey 🙏

    • @abdulsyahid2360
      @abdulsyahid2360 Před 2 lety

      If a woman's parents feel confident about your future and your religion is known then they will not ask

  • @mma4l
    @mma4l Před 2 lety +4

    Thank You Sir! This is info is greatly appreciated.

  • @robinsonlandroncorrea2520

    Yes but I met an incredible Indonesian girl who's amazing... She is so different... I just love her

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Great to hear and congrats my friend. Sound like you don’t experience major cultural shock.

  • @hassanshafiq3347
    @hassanshafiq3347 Před rokem +4

    Amazing video. Thank you!!

  • @assadullah3819
    @assadullah3819 Před rokem +4

    I am from Pakistan,and I am in love with an Indonesian girl. She also loves me very much. we have been on Instagram since 2020. She taught me everything about her customs and traditions. Inshallah,I will be in Indonesia in next month to marry her. She is everything for me.I can't live without her.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Insya Allah your relationship is progressing well for you my friend and happy Ramadan :)

    • @Michael9-23-15
      @Michael9-23-15 Před 3 měsíci

      I know how you feel. I couldn't imagine what I would do without my Javanese girl.

  • @koufax174
    @koufax174 Před 7 měsíci +2

    Thank you. I subscribed to your channel. Interesting information on Indonesia

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 7 měsíci

      thanks my friend for your support :)

  • @Si_nengatcha
    @Si_nengatcha Před rokem +5

    Actually women in Indonesia can be kepala keluarga (head of the family) if her husband died, or when both are divorced and she has full custody of the children/the children come to live with her instead of him. Basically the head of the family would be the one who assumed responsibility in that household. Usually husband, but can be a woman if no husband.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Yes you are right my friend, this video assumes both husband and wife is still alive, I should have made that clearer , thanks for sharing this.

  • @rakriansindhu3290
    @rakriansindhu3290 Před 2 lety +10

    If you live her, then marry her. It show your commitment

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Yeah, thing is marrying her is just the beginning of long journey hehe

  • @holpcs2
    @holpcs2 Před rokem +9

    I very much appreciate this video. I live in the states, but have been talking to an Indonesian woman who is Javanese for about a week now. I'm trying to learn about her culture as much as I can because she's a sweet and thoughtful woman, and seems to be a keeper.

  • @lovemonster7283
    @lovemonster7283 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Wow, thank you alot you enlighten me so hell doesn't cover the earth entirely, I'm living in it for so long. I don't know how to speak to women, here it's so different, I'm really not a good candidate even in hellish nation.
    Happily for me, she's not living in Jakarta anymore. But I start to wonder what luck do I get to had the opportunity to befriend such an empowered woman.
    I wasn't aware of the cultural differences, so different!
    Nice well done video.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 11 měsíci

      Thanks , glad you find it insightful. Hope you great luck in finding the one:)

  • @hankvanduijn
    @hankvanduijn Před měsícem

    Very interesting video mate! Thank you!

  • @kharrinagustin5189
    @kharrinagustin5189 Před rokem +8

    Thank you for creating this video! Finally I can explain it properly to my boyfriend about Indonesian marriage culture

  • @onebikeawaysuperman3758
    @onebikeawaysuperman3758 Před rokem +11

    This is very good if literally applies in my country. Marriage before anything else. No marriage, no kids. THERE'S SO MANY PLAYBOYS here in Philippines. Too many kids no marriage.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +2

      99% my Filo friends in Sydney married young and have kids 😂

  • @brooklynj2255
    @brooklynj2255 Před rokem +1

    Wihh mantapp bang penjelasannya. Edukatif dan gak bertele-tele. Mostly inisih yang jadi gap nya. Yes! Seneng juga liat komen nya kebanyakan positif. Sehat2 bang

  • @VivaLaGEOLANDIA
    @VivaLaGEOLANDIA Před 2 lety +10

    These rules apply to all the South and Southeast Asian Countries

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Thanks, that’s my gut feeling too but can’t really confirm :)

  • @Cookieduhh95
    @Cookieduhh95 Před 2 měsíci

    Beautifully explained 👏 ❤

  • @lagurichardluke8515
    @lagurichardluke8515 Před rokem +6

    Thanks so Much,I'm in Love with an Indonesian Girl.And Now I Have Known We have the same Marital Cultures Here In Uganda 🇺🇬 -East Africa.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Glad you find it informative my friend, I never knew Uganda share similar marital culture !

    • @fdfdv8237
      @fdfdv8237 Před rokem

      ​@@Hendra23155Either he is a Muslim or in a region with Muslims, but Islam is a common culture among any Muslim community. The Muslim in Indonesia has more common customs with the Egyptian Muslim than the common customs between the Muslim Indonesian and the non-Muslim Indonesian. And whoever says that there is something that unites more than Islam, whether it is a nationality, a homeland, or a geographical location, then he is a liar

    • @dessysiti
      @dessysiti Před 10 měsíci

      Semoga mendapat jodoh wanita Indonesia 😊

  • @islandpoet
    @islandpoet Před 9 měsíci +2

    hello hendra, nice video! i've been looking on the internet for a video about forein women and indonesian men , and also how do indonesians think about arab girls getting married into indonesian families

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 9 měsíci +1

      I assume both of them are muslims, I’d imagine there would be less barrier as they share similar values

  • @dfruitziga2543
    @dfruitziga2543 Před 2 lety +10

    True story: The wedding tradition in Indonesia goes this way: if your parents host the party, your name is written before/above your spouse's name in the invitation, doesn't matter if you're the husband or wife. Now, An Arab guy married an Indonesian lady. Because the wedding is held in Indonesia, obviously the wife's parents become the host, and the wife's name in the invitation is put above the husband's.
    Being an Arab guy, he couldn't accept this way, thinking that it will be somewhat humiliating that he goes below his wife, even if it's just on a piece of paper. So he told the wife's family, "Put my name upward anyway, or this wedding never happen." Long story short, they granted his wish. However, his Arab friends who married other Indonesian ladies didn't get to win their negotiation, and he laughed them off (because again, that invitation thing it's considered embarrassing in the Arab culture)😅
    Moral of the story: just like any other situation, you always get to negotiate if you find that your Indonesian fiancee's family rule is a bit absurd for you. Compromise. Don't worry so much because you always get to bargain.
    Of course, while negotiating, obey the local etiquette, always choose the high road, and be fair to everyone. Yes, sacrifices happen but it always happens in any kind of marriage, even if you marry someone from your own circle, right?
    So, step up on your leadership in handling the problems, and enjoy the perks of marrying an Indonesian lady. Good luck.

  • @densetsu8097
    @densetsu8097 Před 2 lety +23

    Nice channel, I learned something new from this video. However your culture is too similar to the Arab culture. My parents are Arabs but I was born and raised in Italy, so I’m a mixed mind. Unfortunately the Arab women of today are absolutely toxics, that’s why I chosen a Asian woman, in particularly a Indonesian because I’m Muslim too. Alhamdulillah the world is big, and no one have necessarily marry a local woman, if he think they are not good. I always thought the woman have to follow me, and not the opposite. I’m a young man, but my ideas about this speech are extremely clear. I’m subscribed to your channel, terimakasih 🙏🏽

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +5

      Grazie my friend! Welcome aboard, glad that you find it informative. It's similar to Arab culture probably because Indonesia is muslim majority country and we are culturally conservative.

    • @densetsu8097
      @densetsu8097 Před 2 lety +1

      @@Hendra23155 figurati amico :)) you’re right, we have a lot in common, probably as you already said, for the religion.

    • @mardhiyahcollection7424
      @mardhiyahcollection7424 Před 2 lety +2

      Anda benar, wanita Arab sekarang emang sdh banyak yg beracun😆

    • @misterx3770
      @misterx3770 Před 2 lety +1

      In Indonesia men and women are equal, but women still respect their husbands, although there are also those who are not good at being disobedient even to their own parents.

    • @zeo7085
      @zeo7085 Před rokem

      Mostly young Indonesian women nowadays are willing to have east asian husband (maybe because of kpop)😌

  • @lucianello100
    @lucianello100 Před 12 dny

    Very helpful,thanks Hendra

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 11 dny

      @@lucianello100 glad you find it helpful:)

  • @starvinmarvin4038
    @starvinmarvin4038 Před rokem +7

    I’ve been married now to a wonderful Indonesian woman for three years and I seen someone else in the comments say mountain time the women are fantastic they’re kind that friendly and they’re hard-working and dedicated and the culture and the Indonesian people in general amazing I’d love it

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +2

      Great to hear that my friend! Wish you blissful marriage for another 3 years and beyond!

    • @jamesrose6751
      @jamesrose6751 Před rokem +1

      I cannot wait to marry my wonderful indonesian love

    • @ZidaneTribal
      @ZidaneTribal Před 5 měsíci +2

      Terribly lazy. And they are not accustomed to help their parents. The parents are already old and work alone in the field, while the children live behind a wall and almost never help in the field. In Russia, this is nonsense. In Russia, children even travel hundreds of kilometers to help their parents in some way (for example, to plant or remove potatoes.). And if they live in the same locality, then helping their parents is like drinking tea. I have not seen this in Indonesia. And the Indonesians themselves, under my wife's video (in which I help her parents in the field), write that many Indonesians cannot be forced to go out into the field to help their parents.

    • @AhmedHafiz-pp4nj
      @AhmedHafiz-pp4nj Před 2 měsíci +1

      Assalamualaikum 🙏🙏

  • @moonbow4088
    @moonbow4088 Před rokem

    Ok siap share ke gebetan 🙈 thank u ko! Sukses sllu

  • @artofverity8791
    @artofverity8791 Před 2 lety +5

    Thank you for making this in English.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Anytime my friend, please let me know if there’s any topic you want me to cover, i’ll do my best.

    • @artofverity8791
      @artofverity8791 Před 2 lety

      @@Hendra23155 I feel that Bahasa Indonesia can be quite harsh with words. Indonesia need to use tone, emojis or a lots of manners like "mohon maaf" "Halo, selamat siang". Also it's weird to me that to ask a simple question on the phone (eg. Price/ opening times) first I need to give my full name and phone number. Indonesia would do good with improved communication, and strict noise limits. But regardless, I enjoy living in Bali.

  • @salimyasini3100
    @salimyasini3100 Před rokem +6

    Hie there. I'm a Muslim man in Zimbabwe, I've been thinking of initiating it respectfully with an Indonesian Muslimah, I already know her and greeted her 😂. I'm now worried but I hope it works out.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +2

      Good luck to you my friend! Insya Allah all going well!

    • @salimyasini3100
      @salimyasini3100 Před rokem +2

      @@Hendra23155 Jazaka'Allah for that.

  • @arinkromowidjojo2236
    @arinkromowidjojo2236 Před 2 lety +2

    Hallo Ko,new subscriber from 🇩🇪

  • @user-qs4ef7fp1y
    @user-qs4ef7fp1y Před měsícem

    Yes that's true thank you for your opinion ,the best for you 👍🌹🙂

  • @G1manime
    @G1manime Před 18 dny

    Thank you for the information

  • @winnysumiok5257
    @winnysumiok5257 Před 11 dny

    Aku sukak banget penjelasannya ko’. Thankyou banget sudah menjelaskan kepada cowo2 luar negri diluar sana ❤🎉

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 11 dny

      @@winnysumiok5257 haha biar pada gak culture shock married ama org indo :p makasih dah mampir

  • @judask13
    @judask13 Před 9 měsíci +1

    hey friend , met my gf in NZ she's indo chinese, we;ve talk aobut it and i asked permission with her parents when i went to indonesia with her
    her dad appears to approved and wants to meet my parents but her mom was so nice to me before but went 180degrees on her opinion and abit skeptical after i asked. my gf saying dont bother with it. Now we're just focusing improving ourselfs and making our relationship stronger until the mom have the green light
    do i have to pay dowry as well?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 9 měsíci

      Depends on girls’s family. Like in my case I just paid “symbolic” dowry like fruits hamper , my in-laws aren’t too fuss about tradition :)

  • @Torchiy
    @Torchiy Před 2 měsíci +2

    Selamat malam. I just stumbled upon your channel. Don't forget to mention that for a muslim family a mas kawin is also required. Tapi jumlahnya bisa dinegosiasikan 😅

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 měsíci +1

      Selamat sore di Sydney. Oh ya bener jg lupa masukin mas kawin (dowry). Makasih dah melengkapi:)

  • @bardwheelo
    @bardwheelo Před měsícem

    This is why I love you guys. Stay strong.

  • @MsianFigSculptor
    @MsianFigSculptor Před 2 lety +5

    Whatever you said could it be base on the size of your treasury and your family status? I find Indonesian women do not ask so may question nor the in-laws to be asking more before the marriage. Or either that I am just the luckiest guy to have an easy going family-in-law with no requests of family support. We had clear conversations on those matters.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +3

      That’s the thing, there’s no such thing as “typical Indonesian woman” and I hope I made it clear in beginning of vid. Indonesia is so diverse, we have Javanese, Bataknese, Papuan, Sundanese, Chinese etc. My in-laws thankfully didn’t ask much either when I proposed, guess we are lucky 😉

    • @zizodbest
      @zizodbest Před 5 měsíci

      Hi, please, where are you from and when you got married in Indonesia, where you expected to bring your family?

    • @MsianFigSculptor
      @MsianFigSculptor Před 5 měsíci +1

      @@zizodbest I am in Malaysia. My wife is from Jakarta and we married here in Malaysia. Yes. The marriage process is tedious and time consuming but we managed without paying an agent. Agents will cost a lot of money, from RM3000 just to process the marital status. Not all Indonesian women have demands. You just only need to know where to look and have an understanding.

    • @zizodbest
      @zizodbest Před 5 měsíci

      @MsianFigSculptor thank so much for the info. So she didn't have to bring her family? I was actually in Malaysia for 3 years by theway.

  • @nisavlog4342
    @nisavlog4342 Před 2 lety +9

    Ngakak banget yang ekspektasi & realita diawal😭🤣

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Hahhaa biar gak kaget tar abis married :p

    • @pratomocahyonugroho2040
      @pratomocahyonugroho2040 Před 2 lety

      Makanya orang Indonesia kalau nikah, biasanya cari yang keluarga mertuanya tidak banyak masalah,biar tidak Tambah pusing, ngurus istri dan keluarga istri plus sanak familinya.

  • @mhmoochy
    @mhmoochy Před 5 měsíci

    Hi, I wanna ask a question, what if you met an Indonesian woman online and she has a tuition fee debt of 50k USD, should you still continue with her?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 5 měsíci +1

      Speaking strictly from Indonesian culture perspective she would expect you to help paying down the debt. I don’t have an answer to that to be honest, can’t see myself marrying $50K debt.

  • @marianipawiro5978
    @marianipawiro5978 Před 4 měsíci +1

    A good Indonesian woman when they re marrying foreign man is actually a test of her belief on marriage sanctity, that it shall be forever and after like her parents. She can opt for a prenup or separate account, therefor neglect any mishap he might do, as long as he give nafkah.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 4 měsíci +1

      marriage within same culture is a hard work, let alone between two different culture. "as long as he give nafkah". Not sure how it fits in modern world. Many educated urban Indonesian women I know have aspiration. They work not purely for money, but also for sense of achievement. They don't want to be just the wife of Mr Successful.

  • @zizodbest
    @zizodbest Před 5 měsíci +1

    Hi, im an international student in Australia, and im recently thinking of marrying someone in Indonesia. Will it be compulsory for me to bring my family all the way from my country to Indonesia, or i can just go there alone and get it done? Also, do you have any idea how much the bride price usually is, especially in places like manado. ? Thanks.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 5 měsíci

      Only once you reach the stage where you guys are about to get engaged. If you just want to get to know your family then it’s fine to go on your own. Not sure how dowry in Manado, best ask the girl:)

    • @sayaorangkaya221
      @sayaorangkaya221 Před 2 měsíci

      Kita yang sesama indonesia saja gak gak bisa bawa borang tua karna ekonomi misal yang wanita dari jawa tengah calon suaminya dari ntb otomatis sangat jauh pasagan masing masing sudah saling mengunjungi orang tuanya yang penting anda sudah minta restu dan bisa dikenalkan pakai live wa

  • @gogogolyra1340
    @gogogolyra1340 Před rokem

    Hi👋 I have a question: is it allowed for an indonesian muslim woman to marry a catholic man in indonesia?? My catholic friend is seriously contemplating marriage but hes worried about being forced to convert

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      I don't think it's possible for civic marriage purpose. Religion IS part of marriage in Indonesia. There are 2 ways couples get around this technicality: get married overseas or get married locally but they quote 1 religion only for civil ceremony then worship according to their faith once they are done with paperwork. I hardly ever heard a muslim converts to other religion for sake of marriage, it's usually the other way around, I am afraid your catholic friend will face huge social pressure to convert.

    • @gogogolyra1340
      @gogogolyra1340 Před rokem

      Thanks for the advice👍

  • @pacnite
    @pacnite Před 3 měsíci +3

    as someone who is talking to a wonderful indonesian woman who i am planning on marrying, this was an amazing video. thank you so much :)

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 3 měsíci

      All the best my friend, hope everything is going well with your Ms!!

    • @Michael9-23-15
      @Michael9-23-15 Před 3 měsíci +3

      I've been with my Javanese girlfriend for 8 years now and I'm really wanting to get married soon. I just hope I can do everything correctly? I still learning how it works.

  • @dannyshett
    @dannyshett Před rokem +4

    Interesting. I'm non Muslim from Cyprus. I just wanted to know if it's allowed to date Indonesian woman. I consider the importance of the character of women

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +4

      none will stop you to date Indonesian woman my friend :)

    • @carlc.4714
      @carlc.4714 Před rokem +3

      And there are also non-muslim women in Indonesia. ☺️

    • @Si_nengatcha
      @Si_nengatcha Před rokem +2

      ​@@carlc.4714 Plenty of non Muslim Indonesia women. He just has to find one... 😊

  • @sonjoydevnath9529
    @sonjoydevnath9529 Před rokem

    hello, brother i want get married in future my girlfriend, but the problem is i from another country and my religion is also different, and i will match my religion indonesia, please can you tell me the procedure is

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      hello Sonjoy, if you are happy to convert to your girlfriend's religion then you have removed big hurdle. Next is matter of filling out paperworks: get your original birth certificate, passport, local ID etc ready. Indonesian embassy in your country is the best place to get accurate info, you need to go there anyway because you'll need to fill out Marriage Form and ratify your docs. Good luck my friend.

  • @trix_42
    @trix_42 Před 2 lety +11

    I'm watching your videos to know a bit more about Indonesia
    I live far away, but I can feel what you said about marrying the family
    Even thought there is not a formal agreement, some people around the world have really "affectionate" family that will pretend to stay very close to the couple
    Once I left a travelling suitcase at my new boyfriend's home (family home). We then had to go out
    The morning after I found my suitcase opened and I discovered her mother did the laundry
    I had a pair of jeans that I broken during the travel and she asked me why i didn't sew to fix them
    I was quite embarassed, cause my own mother would never do that. She taught me to do everything by myself but respect other's spaces
    In fact, i had planned to do the laundry myself as usual

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +2

      haha no formal agreement per se, it's just the way it is. What happened to you is not unheard of. Indonesian concept of privacy is so different to the West haha

  • @jeffersonaraujoelcristiano
    @jeffersonaraujoelcristiano Před 8 měsíci

    3:45 I find it realy positive. I am gonig to use this in Peru.

  • @RaquelTV207
    @RaquelTV207 Před rokem

    hi sir can u please make a video in how to know the culture of Indonesian man before getting married

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      Thanks I will consider it for future vids. Generally Indonesian men are traditional i.e. they assume their role being main breadwinner, expect respect from wife (even obedience for some). Sharing housework load and raising kids is secondary to them. Not all of them are like this of course. Those living in big cities and educated tend to treat their wife as an equal partner in marriage.

    • @RaquelTV207
      @RaquelTV207 Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 thank u for that info sir ✌️👍

  • @hawkhawk9360
    @hawkhawk9360 Před rokem +1

    Nice video, Some Muslims around the world as you know they have 2 or more wife's, do people in Indonesia have the same or not really?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +5

      Yes some do have 2 or more wives but it’s not that common. Also, non-muslims (especially the rich) like late Eka Tjipta Widjaja (Chinese Indonesian) had multiple wives!

    • @user-ys9ts4no4q
      @user-ys9ts4no4q Před 10 měsíci +2

      you allow to have more than 1 wife, but it’s very rare. even poligamy got discriminate and people will making fun of you. because poligamy is not our culture. here we’ll think that men who poligmay is very hypersexual and “MESUM”

  • @shinji906
    @shinji906 Před 10 měsíci

    I live in France and my girlfriend lives in Indonesia, I want to marry her and bring her to France, do I still have to send money to her family? Are indonesians usually ok with a western man marrying their daughter as long as I am muslim?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 10 měsíci

      She usually sends money if her family is struggling (or ask for husband’s help if she is a stay at home wife). Some still send money for filial piety reason. Heaps of muslim Indonesian woman marrying westerner my friend, wish you best of luck 🤞

  • @ibukontraktor2783
    @ibukontraktor2783 Před rokem +2

    I think what you mean is: Javan Indonesians (which is more than half Indonesians) because some of these do not apply to other cultures in Indonesia. Certainly not to mine.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +2

      That’s right Bu. I hope I made it clear in video intro that there’s no such thing as “typical Indonesian woman” because we are so diverse e.g. Javanese, Bataknese, Papuan, Balinese etc.

    • @alibarron7558
      @alibarron7558 Před 2 měsíci

      @@Hendra23155 Also different religions and cultures, all the way to Papua (Irian Jaya). The diversity is Indonesia's beauty.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@alibarron7558 exactly my friend!

  • @koufax174
    @koufax174 Před 7 měsíci

    Are large age gap relationships with foreigners common? Where is best places to meet good traditional women?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 7 měsíci +2

      I have seen some indo woman married to much older Westerner but can’t say whether it’s common. Go to country sides if you wish to meet good traditional women. Good luck my friend

    • @linaamuliah7513
      @linaamuliah7513 Před 7 měsíci +3

      No. It's not common. We're not as cheap as philipinean😂

  • @DeandreSteven
    @DeandreSteven Před rokem +1

    My girlfreind is indonesia from sumatra, she is batak christian as well. Is it normal or typical for me to pay dowry or not?

    • @DeandreSteven
      @DeandreSteven Před rokem

      Full disclosure. I am american

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      It’s common to pay dowry in Indonesia, I have seen it in Javanese and Chinese Indonesian marriage. It’s mainly ceremonial and most families don’t expect the man to pay much unless you are rich and famous :)

  • @lolindo2145
    @lolindo2145 Před rokem

    Hello, Is it the same case when you marry an indonesian man?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Here’s the response to question similar to yours in one of comments:
      Generally Indonesian men are traditional i.e. they assume their role being main breadwinner, expect respect from wife (even obedience for some). Sharing housework load and raising kids is secondary to them. Not all of them are like this of course. Those living in big cities and educated tend to treat their wife as an equal partner in marriage.
      Hope it answers your question my friend.

  • @aladdin025
    @aladdin025 Před rokem +2

    When I grow up I want to marry Indonesian women

  • @amitwalve7162
    @amitwalve7162 Před rokem

    hey bro..i have seen your video .just want to know if my girl is an indonesian muslim and by religion i am hindu..can we both carry our own religions and get married in indonesia??

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      You can get married overseas but not in Indonesia as far as I know. Also, I would be surprised if you don’t get pressured to convert 😂

    • @goku5323
      @goku5323 Před rokem

      According to ISLAM a Muslim and a hindu can not marry each other at any circumstances.
      *Although you can marry Indonesian hindu girl. They are in majority in Bali.*

    • @user-ys9ts4no4q
      @user-ys9ts4no4q Před 10 měsíci

      actually in islam, muslim also can get married with non muslim. but only with brahamic religion, which is chritian and judaism. we cannot married with hindu, budhist, and many

  • @mayu_647
    @mayu_647 Před 2 lety +3

    In Bali is so open for youngster/adults to live together even you're not married. Might be doesn't applies to other provinces

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +3

      Oow really?? That’s news to me. Bali is probably the most exposed to external culture compared to rest of Indonesia but I never know they go that far

    • @mayu_647
      @mayu_647 Před 2 lety +1

      @@Hendra23155 I've witnessed most of my friends they date, live together (*seperately from parents). And some of their parents are old and they can do such thing 😹.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      @@mayu_647 that’s so westernised hahhaha. Thanks Mayu, it’s breaking news to me!

    • @artofverity8791
      @artofverity8791 Před 2 lety +2

      It can happen, but usually not with Balinese and Balinese. Most Balinese have very strict local & religious commitments enforced by authority figures in the village (desa).

    • @misterx3770
      @misterx3770 Před 2 lety +1

      Luckily other regions didn't follow, didn't imagine that Indonesian family life would be like western family life 😌

  • @mohamedrisly33
    @mohamedrisly33 Před rokem

    How many Indonesian women you have experience with?

  • @eddiekhan672
    @eddiekhan672 Před 8 měsíci

    Wow amazing we have exectly same culture...love from pakistan

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 8 měsíci +1

      Yeah we are both Muslim majority countries! Thanks for stopping by my friend :)

  • @spencerbainter677
    @spencerbainter677 Před rokem +1

    The whole family is my family and that is it nothing else

  • @msj793
    @msj793 Před rokem

    I know someone who got an Indonesian lady pregnant in America and her family took her back to Jakarta because he wouldn’t marry her. They won’t allow her or the baby to return so he can see the baby. Is this normal cultural behavior?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      her family took her back to Jakarta because he wouldn’t marry her. They won’t allow her or the baby to return so he can see the baby ==> I don't understand this bit, is she and baby allowed to return to America so the man can see the baby? Getting pregnant outside wedlock is taboo in Indonesia. No parents want "anak haram" (bastard) labelled to their child.

    • @msj793
      @msj793 Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 he won’t marry her. The young lady and the child are in Jakarta. He wants to see the child but the young lady and family will not allow him.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +3

      @@msj793 sound like deep resentment from her side!! I reckon she finds it offensive when the man refused to marry her. It’s seen as being “irresponsible “.

    • @hanafiyahfiyah5100
      @hanafiyahfiyah5100 Před rokem

      I'm an Indonesian, I can explain a little, because that man doesn't want to be responsible, "responsibility means having to marry him and provide for his children and wife"

  • @spencerbainter677
    @spencerbainter677 Před rokem +3

    The things you were explaining are very simple because my mother is a brown woman, many people refer to as “Brown“ she is a Native American and yes we marry the entire issue of family if that makes sense to you. There is no common if that’s what you want to call it about what we marry. It is the entire family that we marry. Even though I am very much a “white man“ with German heritage because of my father’s blood

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      yes we marry the entire issue of family if that makes sense to you => make perfect sense to me haha. On flip side, your problem is their problem too haha :)

    • @theandrogynousmisogynist
      @theandrogynousmisogynist Před 6 měsíci

      Yea man, I’m native and if u marry one of us you’ve pretty much married the entire family lol.

  • @ArchieTheCat20
    @ArchieTheCat20 Před rokem

    bang gimana cara dapatkan suami orang belanda ? saya sering dikecewain sama cowok belanda 😂 cowok belanda baik sih tapi mereka kalo udah cemburu dan dicuekin langsung marah gak mau bales whatsapp. pernah pas kerja di british school ada 2 bule belanda dan inggris rebutan saya (bukan kepedean yah) satunya parents dan satunya teacher. akhirnya saya pacaran sama parents kebetulan dia duda eh 3 tahun akhirnya dia cemburu gara2 saya accept friend cowok belanda juga 😢 jadi serba salah 😢

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      Waduh gk qualified ksh jawaban, coba tanya ChatGPT jawab apa 😁

  • @HasanBasri-ni8kc
    @HasanBasri-ni8kc Před rokem

    do u know someone live in turkey want to met turk single guy fir mariage?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      No idea my friend….good luck finding your soulmates.

    • @HasanBasri-ni8kc
      @HasanBasri-ni8kc Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 thx for ur kine reply. i am a single 49 years old man. seaking spanish woman. actualy my minde interest in simtec..

    • @HasanBasri-ni8kc
      @HasanBasri-ni8kc Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 ragards to you kind man. i love yor videos..

  • @TGSM19
    @TGSM19 Před 2 měsíci

    I have fallen in love with a indonesian woman , she lives in palembang, i want to marry her and take her abroad to my country in holland, what do you think her parents will say ? I am muslim , she is 27 i am 37, so there is a 10 year age difference.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 měsíci +1

      I don’t see 10 years age gap is an issue assuming she is also Muslim. I have seen 12 years gap 😂. Just tell her family you love “pempek “ ( Palembang fish cake). All the best with your love my friend

    • @TGSM19
      @TGSM19 Před 2 měsíci

      @@Hendra23155 Awesome thank you !

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 měsíci

      @@TGSM19 anytime:)

  • @seetruth8775
    @seetruth8775 Před 2 lety

    And her family has a say in my marriage.

  • @behzadali6590
    @behzadali6590 Před 8 měsíci

    Ok boss

  • @springteen3743
    @springteen3743 Před rokem

    What if my family and my problems are her problems too? 🤔

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Yeah sort of….but again every family is different :)

  • @adventureswithcharlie9133

    I met a women from bekasi she wants me too come and get married .. but no sex before marriage rule .

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Wish you live happily ever after my friend!

  • @elijahdays1689
    @elijahdays1689 Před rokem

    With the, very reasonable, expectation of religious conversion in marriage, are there problems in Indonesia with a woman from a Muslim family marrying a Christian man and converting to Christian faith?...

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      It shouldn’t be an issue if she is willing to convert to Christianity (even better if her family supports her decision). But I gotta say it’s rare , it’s usually the other way around.

  • @johnavellano5119
    @johnavellano5119 Před rokem +1

    do u accept Philippines is you Hispanic brother

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      I guess they just share Spanish sounding name 🫢

  • @OnStages
    @OnStages Před 2 lety +3

    Not only to Indonesian woman, but also to man. I mean, when you married to Indonesian, you are married to his/her family as well. And that's what I don't want happen to me 😊😊, I don't want to marry a man with his whole family 😆. LOL

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +1

      Hahhaa. My wife doesn’t feel marrying to my family side , our parents live in different city and we live overseas does help 😆

    • @ibukontraktor2783
      @ibukontraktor2783 Před rokem

      This applies only to Javanese cultures, I think, because some of these are alien to me. I am an Indonesian but not a Javan and we marry only parents-in-laws. Their siblings we know but not married to.

  • @christophe5756
    @christophe5756 Před rokem

    👍🏽👍🏽

  • @vasyear
    @vasyear Před 9 měsíci

    What if the guy is disabled and is on benifits like me?

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 9 měsíci +1

      Just being upfront to her, you never know my friend

    • @vasyear
      @vasyear Před 9 měsíci

      She knows i'm disabled and we've gotten together but I'm thinking more about the family how would they view a disabled guy seeking their daughter/sister?@@Hendra23155

  • @wilonahamid5568
    @wilonahamid5568 Před rokem +4

    I'm Indonesian loud and proud 🗣🗣

  • @ansariazmi7069
    @ansariazmi7069 Před rokem

    I m from India I m alhamdulillah Muslim I need marriage Indonesian ladies

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Insya Allah you will meet your soulmate soon :)

  • @chenchen3582
    @chenchen3582 Před rokem +1

    Im Filipino iam lucky i have girlfriend Indonesian

  • @mrindians2kvlog
    @mrindians2kvlog Před 2 lety

    #mrindians2k vlog

  • @RhinoInternational86
    @RhinoInternational86 Před 15 dny

    Funny that you mention the word breadwinner. Because my Indonesia girlfriend does not like bread and wants only rice.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 14 dny

      @@RhinoInternational86 ricewinner for you then 😜

  • @shahidahmed3436
    @shahidahmed3436 Před 3 měsíci

    Hi Hendra how are u can we get ur contects

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 3 měsíci

      You can contact me on: HendraYou@protonmail.com

  • @mohamedrisly33
    @mohamedrisly33 Před rokem

    I want to marry Indonesian woman ia

  • @seetruth8775
    @seetruth8775 Před 2 lety +2

    Soo basically I will have to be a wealthy man. Or 100k a year to marry over here.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      It depends how big you want to spend on wedding, mine was quite simple for Indonesian standard, our families understood we rather spent it for our future life than blew it in one night. Yes in-law got a say in your life but you can expect some help too 😉

    • @seetruth8775
      @seetruth8775 Před 2 lety

      @@Hendra23155 i understand

    • @alibarron7558
      @alibarron7558 Před 2 měsíci +1

      If you make U.S. 100K per year, you will be very wealthy in nearly all countries in southeast Asia. $500 per month is a good wage within Indonesia for Indonesians. True the major metropolitan areas are more expensive. You can live a good, but not extravagant life, on $ 2K per month (bulan).

  • @frawldog
    @frawldog Před 2 lety +2

    Easy women

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +4

      Probably for good looking man like you :p

  • @iqluvnat
    @iqluvnat Před rokem

    My mum is Indo and my dad is Aussie haha, funny how you mentioned Australia tbh
    I guess Indonesian women marrying white men is common

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem

      Haha true! I hardly seen indo male marrying Caucasian woman!

    • @iqluvnat
      @iqluvnat Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 yeahhh, i do know one couple in sydney thats an indo male and aussie woman but i think thats the only one 😅 and the guy was supposed to be in an arranged marriage with my indo aunt but i don’t know what happened there

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      @@iqluvnat his family most likely disowned him by now haha

    • @iqluvnat
      @iqluvnat Před rokem +1

      @@Hendra23155 yeah 😭

  • @naomi2177
    @naomi2177 Před 4 měsíci

    Rata-rata orang Indonesia itu pada cuek sama pasangannya dan terlalu gengsi untuk memberikan kasih sayang apalagi di depan umum karena di anggap tidak sopan
    Apalagi suku batak🗿🗿🗿

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 4 měsíci

      Mungkin kali ya. Takut disiut2in depan umum hehe

  • @NoRVever
    @NoRVever Před rokem +1

    Iam English marriaged 10 years to an Indonesian women 🤣

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před rokem +1

      Wish you another 10 years of marriage and beyond! :)

    • @NoRVever
      @NoRVever Před rokem

      @@Hendra23155 Thx

  • @violinbite
    @violinbite Před 5 měsíci

    Seems like the guy need to have quite a financial stand marry an indonesian wife.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 5 měsíci +1

      It’s true for many Asian cultures. You need to have good financial standing to marry Chinese or Korean.

  • @jeffersonaraujoelcristiano
    @jeffersonaraujoelcristiano Před 8 měsíci

    1:50 Of course. Indonesian women must convert to catholicism.

  • @Rai.1869
    @Rai.1869 Před 9 měsíci

    Helooo

  • @Atif383
    @Atif383 Před 20 dny

    BUT U DON'T KNOW ADULTERY IS VERY COMMON IN INDONESIA NOWADAYS

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 19 dny

      @@Atif383 in big cities and among the rich, yes I have seen some but not for average ppl though

  • @DantaAlfat
    @DantaAlfat Před 2 měsíci

    You probably forgot the president of indonesia megawati .

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 měsíci +1

      Indonesian women featured in this video got to where they are on their own merits e.g. renowned world class finance minister, successful business woman . I doubt Ibu Megawati would be elected president if it’s not because of his father’s name.
      Not saying she accomplished nothing or she wasn’t a hard working president. Just want to make a clearer line for the purpose of this video, thanks for pointing this out my friend.

  • @Bonifatio
    @Bonifatio Před 2 lety +1

    lol 0:04 gambarnya kok realitynya jadi kaya Johnny Depp sama Amber Heard haha serem banget

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Yoiiii warning biar pada gak kaget haha

  • @dark-void2174
    @dark-void2174 Před 8 měsíci

    cough cough ~~ brother i can fulfill everything you said but the problem is religion conversion, you know i am like i know god exists and i do pray to god but i am not into religions but rather like the idea of fictional taoism ( being delulu -> delusional). It's not like i hate islam or anything but still i dont want to convert or have any religion.

  • @ricoferdianalexander7069
    @ricoferdianalexander7069 Před 2 lety +1

    Makanya kita ga maju2 wkwk
    🤐
    Ampun jgn dbantai 😅

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety

      Hahha santai pak santai, gak ada yg bantai koq haha.

    • @dfruitziga2543
      @dfruitziga2543 Před 2 lety +5

      negara maju seperti Jepang pun ada sisi konservatifnya, bro ^^ bukan bantai, hanya menjelaskan sisi perbedaan di Indonesia aja. Toh semua keadaan pastiada solusinya

  • @jaysonmatthews3333
    @jaysonmatthews3333 Před 10 měsíci

    This is hilarious,, most of the marriages are shot gun weddings, and don't even get me started on the amount of affairs that occur

  • @hannesRSA
    @hannesRSA Před 2 lety +1

    Some of the traditions are antiquated though, and therefore wrong. If some Indonesians accept wives working, maybe the rest should learn to adapt.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +2

      I will go further, if majority of Indonesians accept working mom is normal and women have as much right as men to pursue their career aspiration then we will have more Sri Mulyani. Of course that means men need to step up in domestic works too.

    • @hannesRSA
      @hannesRSA Před 2 lety

      @@Hendra23155 yes sorry if I sound too prescriptive. I understand life in Indonesia may be different. But in most countries, it's hard to to make a living even with 1 good salary. Even though my parents' generation believed in mother's staying home, it's not the norm anymore, but there are a few people who still hold that belief.

    • @Hendra23155
      @Hendra23155  Před 2 lety +1

      @@hannesRSA hey nothing to apologise here, I appreciate you are sharing your thoughts. Yeah it’s normal to have dual income in most developed countries thanks to sky rocketing living costs. Some of my peers (young moms) work full time in Jakarta, unheard of in my parents generation. I hope it’ll become new normal rather than exception.

    • @Si_nengatcha
      @Si_nengatcha Před rokem

      ​@@hannesRSA I don't think we should normalize or stigmatized working wife/mom. I think we should just let the couple decide. Some households can do with one income, some don't. Some women choose to stay working (with husband approval) and have no problem. So it really depends from couple to couple. What I would suggest is to let the couple talk about this and reach an agreement before marriage, and we're as the outsiders shouldn't judge them with their choice. Don't stigmatize working moms, and don't look down on stay at home moms. Let them choose what works best for themselves..

    • @hanafiyahfiyah5100
      @hanafiyahfiyah5100 Před rokem

      if someone wants a wife to work, there must be approval from the husband, if a husband does not agree, we as wives can only obey, this depends on the husband's approval.

  • @muneerahamed192
    @muneerahamed192 Před 5 měsíci

    This is Muneer from India and am looking for a friend

  • @dt8762
    @dt8762 Před rokem

    #1 there not American modern women. 👍

  • @ryanbadgerheart
    @ryanbadgerheart Před 8 měsíci

    In short - moglie e buoi dei paesi tuoi - do not marry Indonesian Women (I did)

  • @whontech9853
    @whontech9853 Před měsícem

    No indonesian woman four me