I have no mouth, and I must Kreed. Speedy's channel: / speedyspcfan Patrons see episodes early: / civvie11 Twitter: / civvie11 Join the Dungeon Discord: / discord
If it said -1, it would mean you have to pay the bank 1 dollar extra each month. Negative interest, you pay the bank 1 dollar interest, thus 100%. Might happen between 2022 and 2024
@@louiepooh1510 probably would get investigated and shut down by the SEC before any real money could be made. Also it would take 10,000 customers to make 5 grand a month which isn't bad but it's certainly gonna take a lot of networking and license costs
In russia there was a real hype on kreed, all gaming magazines was telling that kreed is killer of Doom 3, unreal 2, john f kennedy, abraham lincoln and who knows what else, and giant shlop after release
"If you're downloading files, you're downloading communism!" But this game was made after communism fell. What I get from this is that we need to return Russia to Marxist-Leninism to prevent more games like this.
I lost it when the alien on the floor, presumed dead, comes back to life shoots the three non-player characters, while missing the player character right in the middle, and then immediately dies again. Intentionally or not, that was a comedic masterpiece with perfect timing.
This game looks like the video games you'd see on TV when they haven't licensed a game to play but they need the young male lead to be distracted by something before the mother interrupts them
@Demiclea neither was he ib DOOM 1, 2, plutonia, or 64, yet he never flinched. Also, id like to point out that the DOOM 3 guy isnt the same guy as the rest of the series
normal I love it when edgy jokills like you have to point out that the funny thing isn’t funny cause it was funny but it wasn’t cause you said it was funny and- Just bugger off buddy.
The thing I enjoy most about Civvie 11 is, like Doom 2016, there’s a weirdly complex and fascinating story happening in the background of his videos that he could not give any less of a shit about
We now have recorded sounds of pain and sadness made by the Katie entity in " Redneck Rampage Deelucks Special" so we know that, at the very least, Civvie really wants us to think she is real. And also in pain and sadness. Mission accomplished, I feel sorry for her.
So it wasn't just a poorly voiced line. "Quit winning" was a warning to Civvie. A warning to stop now or be forever changed, scarred with the knowledge that this game exists.
"You see a lot of these areas are copy and pasted, whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing" It took me a minute to get the joke, thought i was just going crazy.
Absence of tone, emotion, sense. It's like floating in space; there's nothing to orient yourself with, you are utterly helpless to watch as you desperately beg anything to save you from this abject nothingness. Civvie learned the lesson the hard way. When you're staring at an empty void too long it empties you and you become it and it becomes you.
After watching this review many times, i FINALLY understood the plot. You are a Legionnare marine going after a Rouge commander, going straight to the Kreed anamoly. The whole thing is a skirmish between Legionares, The Confedarate alliance and the Spiggs marauders, and you trying to escape out Kreed. The end is so abrupt because....i dunno. He just break through the anamoly on the end and escape ...aaaaaaand still makes no fucking sense Else we will die
You missed the important part that getting rogue commander was a cover, the main mission was to get control over the powers of Kreed and make it into a weapon. They problem is, it should have been in cutscenes, some quests/orders, NPCs should have talked about, but as it stands... The storyline is all bones, no skin and muscles.
The game has been praised by Russian game journos during the development period, because of great screenshots and trailers. That has quickly changed after the release however. This was a common pattern in Russian gamedev in early 2000s.
Yeah, the game journos became more reserved by the mid-2000s. And after the economic collapse of the late 2000s, there is no Russian gamedev. Somehow I'm disappointed.
@@AllardRT There are still some old studios alive like Gaijin or Ice Pick. A lot of the devs are now in mobile gaming. Occasionally there are small indie hits from Russia on Steam store. But, yeah, Russian "big" PC gamedev is almost nonexistent nowadays.
@@KingThrillgore Not really. Sure, a lot of devs moved out of the country, but mainly it's the mobile games developers. They made money in the West, so they followed their clients. Some studios like Wargaming have split their Russian and western assets and operate this way. Others like Mundfish, Owlcat, Gaijin and Saber have found different ways to stay in Russia while continuing their work. And half a year later there are now more announcements in local game press about new russian games. Things are changing.
I appreciate the advertisement intermission card. It’s a little unsettling when I hear “then the spy points his gun to the ambassadors head and says... only swifter pick up those hard to get dust bunnies”
youtube premium is very inexpensive and is bundled with access to the youtube music app. If you watch more than an hour of youtube on your phone per month, its worth it in my opinion. If you don't wanna spend 10 bucks a month, I don't wanna see ya even mentioning ads! /s
Fun trivia for you: this game was heavily sold as Doom 3 killer in Russia Like, in videogame magazines and shit Also, there is absolute megafuckton of insane janky FPSes from Russia, some of them are pure art
Ahhh! Much as I love the PRO series and reviews of newer stuff, the "Civvie dunks on a trash game" videos are my favorite, and this one goes way beyond mere trash. God bless you Russian shovelware devs!
You actually haven't seen Russian shovelware yet. Kreed was an ambitious project, they seriously planned to kill Doom 3 with it. Russian shovelware is when you burn some random trash on CDs before the New Year just to fill an annual report for publisher. Check THIS: czcams.com/video/aajhbajvqOk/video.html
My initial thought was that the voice acting was so stilted because of TTS software, but it's too natural sounding for the time. Now I'm going with they had one person who could speak English write the script, and all the voice actors were reading their lines with pretty much no idea what they were actually saying.
few months ago i tryed to finish this game... but i just give up after 5 or 6 hour, managed to land on some planet and get in some kind of underground base but after this my head started to giving me some headache and i just deleted the whole thing. never again.
Funny thing is, this game was marketed in Russia as a "Doom 3 killer", one of the memorable quotes from one of the publications was "And what water Kreed has! I can't even contain myself: the water like this has never existed, and in principle, the possibility of its existence could only be believed in!" Yeah, Russian gaming magazines were... a bit of a sellout sometimes.
If this is a Russian game, sold primarily in Russia and other slavic nations, why is it in English? It's pretty obvious the dev team and script writers' English comprehension can be charitably described as "complete dogshit," so why make a game written and voiced in a language nobody involved in the production can understand?
@@Anomaly188 Executives that don't have business sense were common around here, especially in the 2000's and 90'. So i can fathom the thought, of some bigwig going "Yeah, this will be an international seller, for sure! We need localization for this one". And when providing zero resources, or any shits in general, for the localization effort.
Added to the fact of the very loose structure of the gaming companies of the time, most of them being former pirate resellers and not really caring for any firm quality control. And you'll reap some nasty results, like this game.
i like that jokes about the areas being copy and pastyed, whole halways,and how it can be confusing cause a lot of the areas are copy pasted, whole hallways, and it gets very confusing
I realized at 6:30 that I had been listening real, real hard trying to understand before I realized I was trying to make sense out of nonsense and I broke down laughing for a good 30 seconds.
Also this feels like a fucking fever dream and I haven't even played it. Watching this makes me feel like I did watching Cube 2: Hypercube when I had a 104 degree fever. Which really fucked me up.
"See a lot of these areas are copy and pasted; whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing" counter: I'm at 16:20 and I've heard it 5 times. See a lot of these sound clips are copy and pasted, whole lines and jokes, so it gets a little confusing
@@GraveReaperCushions "I'm So CooL beCaUsE I cOnsTAnTly sHiT On UniTy EvEn ThOugh I DoNt HaVe The BrAinCeLLs To MaKe A GamE Or FoRm An InDiVdUaL OPInIoN" - You
Gotta love how instead of reusing the same combat music, they apparently made "unique" songs for the different levels that still manage to sound exactly the same; a goth rave on a shoestring budget.
I've rewatched this video at least twenty times and I still have no idea what Kreed is about or what it even looks like, when I think about Kreed all I can envision in my mind is darkness.
On the topic of music; looking up this game made me discover there is a russian rapper named Kreed, i wonder if he is a fan of this game ? He would have been a kid at the time it came out.
This voice acting is giving me flashbacks to The Chosen - Well of Souls. Russian voice acting is nothing like what Rocky and Bullwinkle led me to believe.
This game is so dumb and terrible...It actually feels like this game is the smartest thing thing in the universe, and we can't comprehend whatever it says. Civvie's right; this game feels like its giving me smooth brain.
And yet Bethesda was able to craft such energetic and magnetic dialogue from Legendary actors such as Patrick Stewart, and max von sydo... Do you know how Logistically technically and by all means of science that we know, just how difficult it should have been to get Patrick Stewart to fuck up bad dialogue? Bethesda's on a whole other level than these slovjankers... My theory is possibly some black magic, maybe Some not so sanctioned extracurricular Supplemental catholic material maybe... Cause... Like have you seen life force? There had never been dialogue so bad Patrick Stewart would ever have been even challenged.... And then... Bethesda... Channeing the power of the immaterium to collectively Regress the scale of human communicative progress... No Korean MMO, Or blizzard product has ever really even scratched... And they tried...
"quit winning" What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play. Also, I'm Russian and I'm ashamed of the fact that our gamedevs released this hueta blyat
I'd like to congratulate young Civvie for showing the appropriate restraint regarding references to a certain Christian rock group from the early 2000s.
Those frog things are langoliers? Is Kreed a time hole to the past? EDIT: If you don't mind spoilers, that's where the book & movie's titular monsters were from: time travel worked in that universe incredibly weirdly, where the world mere minutes into the past rots and "winds down" before getting eaten by the langoliers. The plane whose crew meet the monsters flew into a time hole over the mojave desert appearing as the northern lights, which took them that far back in time. The whole idea is to go back through the vortex before the clock roaches catch them.
That one guy with the un-pitch-shifted voice we keep hearing, like at 2:31, 2:55, 24:45, etc., unironically sounds almost exactly Peter Coyote's voice. The guy has been involved with some pretty strange art-projects in the past, so I actually had to take a second and look up whether or not he decided to work for scale on some obscure Russian FPS trash from the first half of the 00's or not to be sure. It turns out, no, he didn't. He just has a vocal-clone in the Russian basement programmer community, apparently.
Salvitar actually fixed a lot of problem of the original release and overall being a pretty decent game, too bad it never has an official release in the Western market
Yeah I just played through it because I had to know. They actually added a metroid prime style map, did almost no copy and pasting (with the cost of the expansion being short), made most of the enemies projectile based, added pain sounds for most of the enemies to give some amount of feedback, added a close/medium range shock weapon instead of a knife that *doesn't* display -1instead of just showing no ammo, made the story coherent if disjointed, and didn't put the terrible variety stuff like the psychotic gravity sections, vehicle sections, or turret sections in. Plus thanks to it never being localized it has a fan translation that actually has multiple voice actors who can speak english rather than whatever you call the original's pitch shifting madness. It's still jank with bulletspongey enemies and lotso graphical and collision glitches, way too dark so you need to put up the brightness (which affects your desktop brightness for the game while it's on), and it all ends with a the eponymous battle being a 3 room wave defense section that the AI may glitch out and never leave their ships on... but it ends up being what this game looked like at the start, endearing trash (with it only being like 3 hours long).
I was rewatching this and that intro bit of dialogue was driving me NUTS because I could not figure out what those characters were saying. Turns out, the name they're saying is "Teofrast Rumi". Fuck me, no wonder I couldn't pick that out. That name looks like the result of keysmashing. Thanks MobyGames for actually having it written out.
Man, I remember picking this game up as a teen on a flea market for like $2 from one of those pirate sellers back in 05/06, and after like an hour of playing I actually went to ask for my money back. Since the guy refused to refund me, I still have it sitting on a shelf to this day. Btw one of the voice actors sounds like a text to voice AI version of Agent 47 😂
I wish when my bank account said -1 it meant infinite money
Stonks
If it said -1, it would mean you have to pay the bank 1 dollar extra each month. Negative interest, you pay the bank 1 dollar interest, thus 100%. Might happen between 2022 and 2024
@@louiepooh1510 probably would get investigated and shut down by the SEC before any real money could be made. Also it would take 10,000 customers to make 5 grand a month which isn't bad but it's certainly gonna take a lot of networking and license costs
Same
Yes Mr. Banker 1 infinity please
Halo: Comblyat Evolved
Comblyat Devolved
@@silverhand9965 underrated
That's actually Breed. Does anybody remember Breed?
Breed: Comblyat devolved
It's funny because Halo: Combat Evolved literally has copy/pasted level design.
In russia there was a real hype on kreed, all gaming magazines was telling that kreed is killer of Doom 3, unreal 2, john f kennedy, abraham lincoln and who knows what else, and giant shlop after release
quit winning!
Zulin gang!
а какая в Kreed вода...
It might have failed on that, still it was an amusing game. There is though a masterpiece open world fps made by Russians, the S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
@@darenzy "Russians"… yeah, 'bout that…
"Sometimes the water kills you and sometimes it doesn't....just like real water"
10/10
Third world countries be like.
That is pretty accurate tbh, can't see electricity
I made the same comment a year before you did and got 3 thumbs. The system is rigged
I can't quit winning without my buddy Superfly
whining*
@@takacsadam2850 *winning
@@2Asspie the dude is nagging and complaining over and over, why would he say winning? it's whining but pronounced wrong
@@takacsadam2850 that is the joke
@@takacsadam2850 quit winnin
The game’s trailer makes me think of those “You wouldn’t steal a car” anti-piracy ads
I still have (and watch) dvd's with that ad campaign on 'em, lol.
I thought it looked familiar! That's exactly what it reminded me of
"If you're downloading files, you're downloading communism!"
But this game was made after communism fell. What I get from this is that we need to return Russia to Marxist-Leninism to prevent more games like this.
You're not wrong. It reminded me of a Prodigy video though. I'm a Kreed player, twisted Kreed player!
Yeah. I have a question, who has a cooler voice? Civvie or The Act Man?
"A lot of these comments are copied and pasted. Whole references, memes, so it gets a little confusing..."
T9b49 8atvksrto7tb
@VT This is like a gex reference on a dunkey video
~ Thanos
Queet wheenin'
“A lot of these replies are copied and pasted. Whole jokes, criticisms, so it gets a little confusing…”
Quit winnin
"Bogdanoff."
"Oui?"
"He's playing"
"He plays? *Quit whinning.* "
*hwhinnin'
domp eet
I understand this reference
Kreed-17
P E R F E K T
I lost it when the alien on the floor, presumed dead, comes back to life shoots the three non-player characters, while missing the player character right in the middle, and then immediately dies again. Intentionally or not, that was a comedic masterpiece with perfect timing.
If they expanded on this it would be a parody/satire on how NPCs always do one thing and die in shooters (think Half-Life).
But it's not a parody...
The monster just couldnt stop winning
The monster was just saving the player from a bad escort mission
This game looks like the video games you'd see on TV when they haven't licensed a game to play but they need the young male lead to be distracted by something before the mother interrupts them
I believe Kreed was used that way
At least this game did one thing right: not a single sewer level.
I take it you didn’t enjoy Rage....
👽
The game is so shit spewing it might as well be a sewer.
He'll never make it to 100 at this rate.
that's one gold star.
*one*
That's because the entire game belongs in the sewer.
4:04 left to right read indeed do we that confirm can I myself russian a as.
I’m sad this hasn’t gotten much attention. Great comment.
Agreed with other commenter great comment dude
sa a naissur flesym i nac mrifnoc taht ew od deedni daer thgir ot tfel 40:4
no lie I thought I was having a stroke while reading this comment
@@finnaboing imagine reading it then having the stroke your last concious thought being wtf
"it's closer to a russian Unreal II, and if that doesn't scare ya..."
That trailer itself is stuff of what creepypastas are made of
Damn.
It's wonderfully cursed. It looks like an ad for a fictional game like Polybius.
"...Like imagine if you were playing Doom and every time a zombieman hits you the screen went fucking crazy."
So it's like Doom 3.
@Amadeus Eisenberg Giga Chads like doom guy shouldn't flinch
@@probablynotdad6553 When Doomguy gets shot the bullets flinch.
@@Ponaru yes
@Demiclea neither was he ib DOOM 1, 2, plutonia, or 64, yet he never flinched.
Also, id like to point out that the DOOM 3 guy isnt the same guy as the rest of the series
@Amadeus Eisenberg It doesn't matter what's actually happening in context, you shouldn't do things that are terrible to the user experience.
"Quit winning"
Ok, I'll go and play a Sierra point-and-click adventure game without a guide, it's the best way I can think to not win.
RIP Sierra :(
You can play Hareraiser
You should try Deponia!
Play Limbo of the Lost without documentation.
Bruh, just play some Super Meat Boy.
Fastest way to lose.
"Quit winning" -the bogdanoff
@Bolastwo
"Doomp eet"
"you pitch shift because you don't got enough voice actors - i know that game" classy self-roast there, civvie!
That's Skyrim in a nutshell but without the pitch shifting.
i love it when they type out the exact quote from the video, but then also explain the joke in the reply
normal
I love it when edgy jokills like you have to point out that the funny thing isn’t funny cause it was funny but it wasn’t cause you said it was funny and-
Just bugger off buddy.
@@AnimatedTerror if what i did is so bad, why are you doing it?
I think these comments are making my brain smooth.
The thing I enjoy most about Civvie 11 is, like Doom 2016, there’s a weirdly complex and fascinating story happening in the background of his videos that he could not give any less of a shit about
Amadeus Eisenberg That’s your opinion. Cool. Now go be a contrarian somewhere else
@Amadeus Eisenberg Cry some more man. Doom 2016 just blew it's load early, but it was still a good and enjoyable game.
Amadeus Eisenberg Shit opinion
Amadeus Eisenberg the optional logs you can read are actually super interesting
@Amadeus Eisenberg Pop ya breaks, kid. You bout faq cross some fuggin' lines!
To this day I don't know if Katie is a real person or not.
Me neither, lol..At times I believe she is real, but at other times I think she is a character that's part of the "Civvie Lore"..lol
Regardless of if she is real or or not, we know she feels pain, You Are Empty and Alpha Prime proved this.
We now have recorded sounds of pain and sadness made by the Katie entity in "
Redneck Rampage Deelucks Special" so we know that, at the very least, Civvie really wants us to think she is real. And also in pain and sadness.
Mission accomplished, I feel sorry for her.
It’s so obviously pitch shifted Civvie
@@GreenEyedDazzler trans civvie when?
So it wasn't just a poorly voiced line.
"Quit winning" was a warning to Civvie. A warning to stop now or be forever changed, scarred with the knowledge that this game exists.
Kreed, a game also known as "How I learned to KUIT WINING and loved the schizoprenia"
*Hwhinnin
Ou r uo Winning san
Qweet whinning
1:57 "Russian Unreal II"
Buckle up, kids, this is ROUGH.
Quit whinning.
Jank intensifies
It's the Unreal 2 done right
I am pretty sure you could overdub Unreal II's dialogue with sound clips from this game and make it more entertaining, not less
DAMN!
"You see a lot of these areas are copy and pasted, whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing"
It took me a minute to get the joke, thought i was just going crazy.
You just experienced what Civvie did when he was actually playing the game.
You see a lot of those critiques about the game are copy and pasted, whole comments, rhetoric, so it gets a little confusing.
Came here for this same comment.
A+ on the meta-joke.
@@XGriff847X But a lot of these comments are copy pasted, whole paragraphs, sentences, so it gets a little confusing.
bruh I thought I kept hitting the rewind so I'd set the video forward then hear it again and set it forward
"QUIT WHINNING" is the funniest thing, it's at 15:31 for those who want to hear it again and again
*hweening
I am back a year later to admire "QUIT WHINNING"
Another year passes, qweet wheenning..
@@boilerhousegarage it's been 2 or 3 years now, i will never quit whinning
I'm here for the master class acting that was "Hey, there are people in here!"
Not gonna lie, something about the atmosphere of the cutscenes is really appealing to me. It’s like a sci-fi fever dream
@Amadeus Eisenberg Like a tapeworm? I will say though the music is a good kind of cheese.
Absence of tone, emotion, sense. It's like floating in space; there's nothing to orient yourself with, you are utterly helpless to watch as you desperately beg anything to save you from this abject nothingness. Civvie learned the lesson the hard way. When you're staring at an empty void too long it empties you and you become it and it becomes you.
That would be the brain damage. Time for a fresh round of neurostimulants and electroshock therapy
Lexx is the tv series version, give it atry
This is the weirdest tie-in game to a film about boxing I've ever seen.
This has nothing to do with *Rocky!*
This is the stand-alone movie for the most senior employee at Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton.
i thought it was a tie-in for the band creed
@@DistractedGlobeGuy this was a joke.
I know, there was no guns in the rocky movies and the two creed movies ever!
@@SockEater4293 so was mine, genius.
See, a lot of this video is copied and pasted, so it gets a little confusing
See, a lot of these youtube comments are copied and pasted, so it gets a little confusing
See, a lot of this video is copied and pasted, so it gets a little confusing
See, a lot of these youtube comments are badly copied and pasted, so it gets a lit
You see, a lot of this comments section is copy and pasted, whole comments and sayings, so it gets a little confusing.
Ctrl V
“There’s four hours left of this game.”
CIVVIE
CIVVIE NO
If were forced to play KREED or BLOOD 2, I'd choose TEKWAR cuz I like Whinning
okay, but can you lower the body count next time?
*157585 shikari laughed at this*
"You may have gotten Sonny off the streets, but did you have to take half of L.A. with him?!"
“What can I say, Kreed blew it. If it were up to me, it’d be back in cold storage, but it’s not.”
You see, a lot of these Tekwar references are copied and pasted: whole quotations, in-jokes, so it gets a little confusing
After watching this review many times, i FINALLY understood the plot. You are a Legionnare marine going after a Rouge commander, going straight to the Kreed anamoly. The whole thing is a skirmish between Legionares, The Confedarate alliance and the Spiggs marauders, and you trying to escape out Kreed. The end is so abrupt because....i dunno. He just break through the anamoly on the end and escape
...aaaaaaand still makes no fucking sense
Else we will die
At least you tried ...
You missed the important part that getting rogue commander was a cover, the main mission was to get control over the powers of Kreed and make it into a weapon.
They problem is, it should have been in cutscenes, some quests/orders, NPCs should have talked about, but as it stands... The storyline is all bones, no skin and muscles.
I get the distinct feeling that the DLC doesn't explain any of this either and makes the whole thing more confusing.
if story = -1, we die
@@asteroidrulesDLC???
The game has been praised by Russian game journos during the development period, because of great screenshots and trailers. That has quickly changed after the release however.
This was a common pattern in Russian gamedev in early 2000s.
Yeah, the game journos became more reserved by the mid-2000s. And after the economic collapse of the late 2000s, there is no Russian gamedev.
Somehow I'm disappointed.
@@AllardRT There are still some old studios alive like Gaijin or Ice Pick. A lot of the devs are now in mobile gaming. Occasionally there are small indie hits from Russia on Steam store.
But, yeah, Russian "big" PC gamedev is almost nonexistent nowadays.
@@dmitriyparfenov Battlestate Games also exists. Though it's more of a gun porn dev.
I imagine the industry has cratered given recent developments.
@@KingThrillgore Not really. Sure, a lot of devs moved out of the country, but mainly it's the mobile games developers. They made money in the West, so they followed their clients.
Some studios like Wargaming have split their Russian and western assets and operate this way.
Others like Mundfish, Owlcat, Gaijin and Saber have found different ways to stay in Russia while continuing their work.
And half a year later there are now more announcements in local game press about new russian games.
Things are changing.
I appreciate the advertisement intermission card. It’s a little unsettling when I hear “then the spy points his gun to the ambassadors head and says... only swifter pick up those hard to get dust bunnies”
youtube premium is very inexpensive and is bundled with access to the youtube music app. If you watch more than an hour of youtube on your phone per month, its worth it in my opinion.
If you don't wanna spend 10 bucks a month, I don't wanna see ya even mentioning ads! /s
@@hacksbeenjamin The problem is that CZcams is a terrible company so nobody wants to support it in that way.
@Indigo Cactus Everyone loves partisan political censorship!
...Nah, adblock is better.
@@hacksbeenjamin
Brown nosing YT won't get you any discounts.
Fun trivia for you: this game was heavily sold as Doom 3 killer in Russia
Like, in videogame magazines and shit
Also, there is absolute megafuckton of insane janky FPSes from Russia, some of them are pure art
there are really good games as well. like stalker.
Yeah, Gulman series(it's 3rd person tho), The Hunt and Nevskiy Titbit are perfect examples of pure gold of Russian gamedev.
Stalker's from Ukraine, but yeah, good shit.
It certainly killed something...
Germany has jank Adventure games
Russia has jank FPS's
Poland has jank ARPG's
No matter how many times I watch this I'll never be ready for "quit winning".
"else if terminal=1 we'll die" i almost choked
If terminal=-1 we live forever
Ahhh! Much as I love the PRO series and reviews of newer stuff, the "Civvie dunks on a trash game" videos are my favorite, and this one goes way beyond mere trash. God bless you Russian shovelware devs!
What really got me was seeing additional programming as a credit at the start
fiddling with S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'s database while I watch this, oddly fitting, lol.
You actually haven't seen Russian shovelware yet. Kreed was an ambitious project, they seriously planned to kill Doom 3 with it. Russian shovelware is when you burn some random trash on CDs before the New Year just to fill an annual report for publisher. Check THIS:
czcams.com/video/aajhbajvqOk/video.html
Yeah, I remember Russian magazines making a big deal of this game. Until it released.
@@bennymountain1 It was so annoying. But not unusual.
"Quit whinning"
That needs to be a meme.
Funny thing about this game; It somehow got a sequel
Edit: Its called "Kreed: Battle for Savitar".
See, a lot of these comments are copied and pasted, whole phrases and words, so it gets a little confusing.
for real? i hope civvie is forced to play it
Bulshit no way
It also called "Kreed. Episode I: Battle for Savitar".
@@ViDiGames1 See, a lot of these comments are copied and pasted, whole phrases and words, so it gets a little confusing.
at 22:05 just that absolutely infuriated "WHAT!?"
i feel it in my soul
Yeah, I don't think there's ever been one like it before or after
@@shaynehughes6645 You see a lot of these areas are copy and pasted......
My initial thought was that the voice acting was so stilted because of TTS software, but it's too natural sounding for the time. Now I'm going with they had one person who could speak English write the script, and all the voice actors were reading their lines with pretty much no idea what they were actually saying.
At points it almost sounds like these AI voices where it can almost sound natural at times, but you tell something's off at every word
My brain started to melt after 15 minutes into this video
It's a miracle Civvie survived 9 hours of gameplay
few months ago i tryed to finish this game... but i just give up after 5 or 6 hour, managed to land on some planet and get in some kind of underground base but after this my head started to giving me some headache and i just deleted the whole thing.
never again.
"Quit whinning"
@@eduardodiaz9942 Winning is what I do........just not with this game.
I just shut down and vented my neurons at that point. Can't melt down a brain that's not processing a fucking thing.
Exactly lmao
When Mandalore is on his deathbed, someone has to continue his legacy of playing Russian jank
While I'm at it, do Neuro next
PRO PATHOLOGIC 2 WHEN CIVVIE?
There is also Tehsnakerer. He plays junk (Russian or any other) from time to time.
Mandalore plays jank?
Eurojank, not just slavjank.
"See, a lot of these hallways are copy and pasted you see, so it gets a little confusing...."
This game should be classified as a war crime.
Queet wheenin'
22:09 That is the most genuinely angry I have ever heard Civvie.
21:30 this weird beat has been living rent free in my head for days.
Four years after I first heard it I can guarantee you it won’t go away
@@MisterDragelof one year later, and I can still recall it pretty clearly.
Combined with what can charitably be described as the "vogue-Ing" lady at 20:52 and it's all very entrancing
holy shit so im not the only one
"-1 is computerspeak for infinite" - Developer day job detected!
I recommend to review the game called "You are empty" Developers from Ukraine.
Good call, was a brilliant vid, like usual
That Alien spoof at the beginning was brilliant. GG, CV.
i know. spot on !!
That and photoshopping the Jack novel were perfect.
This bastard is testing me.
A clip of Aguirre: The Wrath of God in a video about a slow willing descent into sheer madness?
Civvie really is a man of culture.
truly
Yeah, gotta admire his movie knowhow. One more reason why I love his vids.
That you referenced "A Confederacy of Dunces" makes me immeasurably happy. That's that theology and geometry, people.
Funny thing is, this game was marketed in Russia as a "Doom 3 killer", one of the memorable quotes from one of the publications was "And what water Kreed has! I can't even contain myself: the water like this has never existed, and in principle, the possibility of its existence could only be believed in!"
Yeah, Russian gaming magazines were... a bit of a sellout sometimes.
Thank you so much . I finally got an explanation to the all the Russians memeing "а какая в крид вода! "
If this is a Russian game, sold primarily in Russia and other slavic nations, why is it in English? It's pretty obvious the dev team and script writers' English comprehension can be charitably described as "complete dogshit," so why make a game written and voiced in a language nobody involved in the production can understand?
@@Anomaly188 Executives that don't have business sense were common around here, especially in the 2000's and 90'. So i can fathom the thought, of some bigwig going "Yeah, this will be an international seller, for sure! We need localization for this one". And when providing zero resources, or any shits in general, for the localization effort.
Added to the fact of the very loose structure of the gaming companies of the time, most of them being former pirate resellers and not really caring for any firm quality control. And you'll reap some nasty results, like this game.
@@fwackingmadman5011 Executives with no business sense isn't just a Russian problem. That's a worldwide problem.
Me: How bad could this be?
(30 minutes later)
*dies in Russian*
You see a lot of these areas are copy and pasted, whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing
@@melvinmerkelhopper5752 Quit winning.
*Pauses video*
*Shines the power of 10,000 suns on it, still just as dark*
Could this game be the embodiment of a black hole?
No it's just Black 3.0, hundreds of times blacker than Vantablack
Appropriate. They both suck massively
Quit winning
Profile pic checks out. :P
Well, Civvie did crank the ingame lighting to max/near-max darkness in the options. That's one of the jokes in the video.
i like that jokes about the areas being copy and pastyed, whole halways,and how it can be confusing cause a lot of the areas are copy pasted, whole hallways, and it gets very confusing
This game ACTUALLY was advertised as "Doom 3 killer", so you wasn't wrong about your first guess
“Actually”.
@@billrich9722 akshually
Hell, Doom 3 is a Doom 3 killer already.
"Quick, how do we show players the Kreed is dangerous?"
"Have everyone die except the main character?"
14:50 | 16:01 | 26:10
is there porn of your pfp
@Something Mildly Homophobic Profile picture
"Wait a minute... RUSSIANS DON'T READ RIGHT TO LEFT" - 23 minutes later. great comedic timing on that. Laughed a minute straight
I realized at 6:30 that I had been listening real, real hard trying to understand before I realized I was trying to make sense out of nonsense and I broke down laughing for a good 30 seconds.
Also this feels like a fucking fever dream and I haven't even played it. Watching this makes me feel like I did watching Cube 2: Hypercube when I had a 104 degree fever. Which really fucked me up.
@@PhatsMahoney88 Oh my God, the Cube series was exactly what I thought of when they called the Kreed an "anomoly".
Do the voices remind anyone else of serious sam 2?
Every time I hear someone say "I'm telling you" I now quickly respond with "quit winning." This video broke my brain.
I love that the damage from the water gibbed the player character's body.
the myth, the legend, the doom 3 killer made by spetsnaz.
check out that water.
Wait these are the guys that made spetsnaz?
No wonder it's so shit.
@@Srksius2802 they served in spetznaz
@@vitaliybakal7356 ah. I remember there being a shooter called spetsnaz that sucked
"А какая в Крид вода!"
"See a lot of these areas are copy and pasted; whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing" counter: I'm at 16:20 and I've heard it 5 times. See a lot of these sound clips are copy and pasted, whole lines and jokes, so it gets a little confusing
I love the"I Have no Mouth but I Must Scream" reference at the beginning!
This is by far one of the best scripts that Civvie ever made, holy shit
"Quit Winning!"
Lol at the guy speaking as if he's having a normal conversation while being squashed under rocks.
Funnily enough, that segment with the fan uses a stock sci-fi sound Half Life uses...
"Russians read right to left"
адов deerc в яакак А
Верни зулину его буквы!
Нихуя не понял но очень интересно.
“Wait, _Russians don’t read right to left!”_
@@expendableround6186 no, we just rush b сука блядь!
@@expendableround6186
For posterity: 27:40
The pre unity dark ages, when you still had to make an effort to make a shit game.
Bruh, have you seen Limbo of the Lost?
I'm wondering if Kreed wasn't developed (heh, "developed"!) on a very, very, very, very, very, VERY early version of Unity...
@@GraveReaperCushions nah, feels more like a slavic unreal clone to me
@@admiraltonydawning3847 The World’s Best Bad Game.
@@GraveReaperCushions "I'm So CooL beCaUsE I cOnsTAnTly sHiT On UniTy EvEn ThOugh I DoNt HaVe The BrAinCeLLs To MaKe A GamE Or FoRm An InDiVdUaL OPInIoN" - You
Gotta love how instead of reusing the same combat music, they apparently made "unique" songs for the different levels that still manage to sound exactly the same; a goth rave on a shoestring budget.
There's something special about a game like this, the dialogues are always funny and the storyline makes the Room seem good as the godfather.
"Quit winning. Oh hi Mark..."
We all know who is really in area 51.
We are coming for you Civvie.
Okay, that's the first area 51 joke that made me chuckle.
@Manek Iridius You know you can still participate right?
@Tailfin See, a lot of these comments are copied and pasted, whole phrases and words, so it gets a little confusing.
#freecivvie
This game's soundtrack sounds like an attempt at Euro-buttrock
It reminds me of a largely forgotten FPS game, Mortyr.
it sounds like really shitty turbofolk without any of the b-roll combat footage.
Sounds like rejected Quake 2 songs
It actually sounds a lot like the Life of Crime soundtrack.
Very Sonic Mayhem vibe.
I love how civvie can just wordlessly show parts of this game and it speaks for itself.
I've rewatched this video at least twenty times and I still have no idea what Kreed is about or what it even looks like, when I think about Kreed all I can envision in my mind is darkness.
wait a second this isn't a kreedz climbing highlight video OR an anime music video set to "with arms wide open", what a ripoff i want my $-1 back
-5$ foot long
Wait you paid unlimited money for this?
On the topic of music; looking up this game made me discover there is a russian rapper named Kreed, i wonder if he is a fan of this game ?
He would have been a kid at the time it came out.
Quit whinning.
This voice acting is giving me flashbacks to The Chosen - Well of Souls. Russian voice acting is nothing like what Rocky and Bullwinkle led me to believe.
I see you're a man of culture too.
The ee-vv-ii-ll one?
@@planescaped On flaming weengs
Reminds me of Dingo Pictures.
The hell did these devs live near Chernobyl? This game feels like it came straight out of the zone it's so surreal and bad.
this is why stalkers should stick to artifact hunting instead of trying to design a game.
This game is so dumb and terrible...It actually feels like this game is the smartest thing thing in the universe, and we can't comprehend whatever it says. Civvie's right; this game feels like its giving me smooth brain.
His "Wait IM the confederate??" has the same energy as my reaction to aiding the stormcloaks the first time I played Skyrim.
the gods smile on me, imperial, can you say the same?
And yet Bethesda was able to craft such energetic and magnetic dialogue from Legendary actors such as Patrick Stewart, and max von sydo... Do you know how Logistically technically and by all means of science that we know, just how difficult it should have been to get Patrick Stewart to fuck up bad dialogue? Bethesda's on a whole other level than these slovjankers...
My theory is possibly some black magic, maybe Some not so sanctioned extracurricular Supplemental catholic material maybe... Cause... Like have you seen life force? There had never been dialogue so bad Patrick Stewart would ever have been even challenged....
And then... Bethesda... Channeing the power of the immaterium to collectively Regress the scale of human communicative progress... No Korean MMO, Or blizzard product has ever really even scratched... And they tried...
If You Are Empty was a fever dream, KREED is a bad drug trip.
So according to that subtitle, A.M. runs the dungeon, so good luck Civvie, gonna be another 109 years worth of Blood 2, Tekwar, and Kreed. RIP Civvie
I'd kinda figured that had always been an inspiration for the channel's overall premise.
This upload frequency is absolutely astounding! New Civvie videos always make my day.
At this point I don't even care what the game is, half an hour of Civvie is always a good time.
I pay to not see ads, but love being reminded of where ads would be.
"quit winning"
What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Also, I'm Russian and I'm ashamed of the fact that our gamedevs released this hueta blyat
Soglasen s vami tovarisch.
Ty hueta
@@KeksimusMaximus hueta eto vvp (ti znaesh o chem ya)
Queet wheenin'
14:37
okay, I just wanted to add to the discussion by pointing out that this spaceship looks like a shoe.
"II
A CONFEDERACY
OF DUNCES"
Points for the literary reference!
Only book that ever made me laugh out loud.
I'd like to congratulate young Civvie for showing the appropriate restraint regarding references to a certain Christian rock group from the early 2000s.
Wait. They were Christian?!
@@three-stripes Yeap, and they accepted such faith...
WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN!
@@PowerArmorV113 Wow I wonder how their fake religion is working out for them.
Wait, what is going on?
@@melvinmerkelhopper5752 There's a band called Creed.
Those frog things are langoliers? Is Kreed a time hole to the past?
EDIT: If you don't mind spoilers, that's where the book & movie's titular monsters were from: time travel worked in that universe incredibly weirdly, where the world mere minutes into the past rots and "winds down" before getting eaten by the langoliers. The plane whose crew meet the monsters flew into a time hole over the mojave desert appearing as the northern lights, which took them that far back in time. The whole idea is to go back through the vortex before the clock roaches catch them.
That one guy with the un-pitch-shifted voice we keep hearing, like at 2:31, 2:55, 24:45, etc., unironically sounds almost exactly Peter Coyote's voice. The guy has been involved with some pretty strange art-projects in the past, so I actually had to take a second and look up whether or not he decided to work for scale on some obscure Russian FPS trash from the first half of the 00's or not to be sure. It turns out, no, he didn't. He just has a vocal-clone in the Russian basement programmer community, apparently.
holy shit, I turned my brightness up on my phone all the way while watching this and I still cant see whats going on in this game
same lol
You should be happy about that.
Same here! I bought a new notebook a week ago and I thought the screen was spoiled.
What's normal, apparentry game so shit, even DxWind can do anything about total pitch blackness
Quit Winning.
"Uhh you see a lot of these areas are copied and pasted whole hallways, rooms... so it gets a little confusing."
I see what you did there :)
I dont
@@namesurname624 He repeats that throughout the video, a la copy pasted words. :)
See a lot of these areas are copied and pasted - whole hallways, rooms, so it gets a little confusing.
Quit winning!
i think we all did but okay
The real question is when is Civvie going to play "Kreed - Battle for Savitar"
Salvitar actually fixed a lot of problem of the original release and overall being a pretty decent game, too bad it never has an official release in the Western market
@@RedHazeCh true but still it's not the best experience
Yeah I just played through it because I had to know. They actually added a metroid prime style map, did almost no copy and pasting (with the cost of the expansion being short), made most of the enemies projectile based, added pain sounds for most of the enemies to give some amount of feedback, added a close/medium range shock weapon instead of a knife that *doesn't* display -1instead of just showing no ammo, made the story coherent if disjointed, and didn't put the terrible variety stuff like the psychotic gravity sections, vehicle sections, or turret sections in. Plus thanks to it never being localized it has a fan translation that actually has multiple voice actors who can speak english rather than whatever you call the original's pitch shifting madness.
It's still jank with bulletspongey enemies and lotso graphical and collision glitches, way too dark so you need to put up the brightness (which affects your desktop brightness for the game while it's on), and it all ends with a the eponymous battle being a 3 room wave defense section that the AI may glitch out and never leave their ships on...
but it ends up being what this game looked like at the start, endearing trash (with it only being like 3 hours long).
I was rewatching this and that intro bit of dialogue was driving me NUTS because I could not figure out what those characters were saying. Turns out, the name they're saying is "Teofrast Rumi". Fuck me, no wonder I couldn't pick that out. That name looks like the result of keysmashing.
Thanks MobyGames for actually having it written out.
Civvie can't seem to quit winning when he releases these bangers.
I like when this review turns into a david lynch movie.
"А какая в Kreed вода..."
Никакая, в принципе.
Cyka blayt
Как земля.
Quit winning
@Legofan94 From a positive preview in Russian magazine.
Great job, CV-16. Let us know when 11 gets his thorazine.
13:38...... Everything you will ever need to know about the game, "words to live by"
Man, I remember picking this game up as a teen on a flea market for like $2 from one of those pirate sellers back in 05/06, and after like an hour of playing I actually went to ask for my money back. Since the guy refused to refund me, I still have it sitting on a shelf to this day.
Btw one of the voice actors sounds like a text to voice AI version of Agent 47 😂