A Message To Helicopter Parents
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- čas přidán 30. 08. 2021
- A Message To Helicopter Parents
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Can you direct me to the full episode this highlight is from?
This discussion about parents of young adults apparently references a call. Kindly post a link to that specific call so we can follow what DR is saying vs. guess the context.
TY
@@trusty272727 q1
If you were brought up by a controlling parent, you will know that they don't understand conversations. The only thing they understand is cutting them off from your life, which starts with you being 100% independent.
Very true. A Controlling parent, or a narcissistic parent, can't be reasoned with. The only way to manage that parent is to cut them off. Of course, that parent will trash-talk you to family and friends, but it's the only way. Dave's advice is for normal parents who can understand that they are overstepping boundaries. That's not universally true.
Amen
No contact is so unfortunate. I do not get why parents would choose to live in that state rather than simply humble themselves and listen to their adult children's needs which usually are NOT difficult or unreasonable, just healthy boundaries. But many parents just won't let go of their parenting role perhaps because it's the only thing they've had to value themselves by. So frustrating for the younger generations and heartbreaking for the older. Im trying to remember that our parents didn't have access to the internet therapy and advice we do now and change becomes increasingly more difficult as the years go by. I'm 5 years into negotiations with my parents. They don't want to or see any need to change the relationship we have which is a parent and child relationship. I'm 44, married, kids, work, and have been financially independent for 20+ years and they still don't want to let go. I finally just told them I'm taking a break for a few months because it's exhausting trying to convince people that their need to continue in the dominate role is killing our relationship. They just think I'm the one being difficult and "rebellious". My mother even told me she was going to "rise up and battle against the demons that have come between us!" At 74 years old, its like....really, mom? Really? Your gonna go into battle for my soul when all I asked you to do was ask me before scheduling her and my dad for a 7-10 day visit with us to make sure it was within my schedule to do so and to just not share intimate things I used to share with her like when I was struggling a lot after a complication from a major surgery and she decided it would be a good idea to write in the "family Christmas letter" about how I had had surgery, got injured, lost my job and was unable to now work. Or better when I invited her to attend the birth of our daughter and she took photographs without asking me, made a photo album, and shared it with my dad, her entire church, her neighbors, etc. And it had full on graphic shots showing my exposed parts without even a sticker covering them. Found out 5 months after the fact. I wish with all my might that they would just show a morsel of self-reflection or empathy for how it would make me feel. I just always get the "oh well, you're just too sensitive" or "but it's just family and close friends". I once had the audacity to ask my mom if she was going to write about my father's prostate surgery in the Christmas newsletter as well, she bout lost her mind! She was so angry at me for even suggesting that, to me it's exactly the same thing shes doing to me but I figured it's better because at least it would be sharing something about their lives and not about mine. Now, for the past 2 years, I tell her nothing and she non stop complains about it but I'm like.....I want to be able to share things with you but ONLY with you and not everyone else in her world. She just can't help it though I guess. Maybe she needs to attention? Maybe she just needs to be needed so she makes sure to have the scoop on everyone. I really don't know but I'm tired....tired of trying to sort out other people's intentions and emotions. Like, I have all my own junk to deal with. I really don't have a solution for myself yet but I do hope that we can find some sort of way to have a relationship before they both die.
As a therapist I agree with Dave and see lots of parents who still try to control their children because they can’t or won’t let go.
What’s also very difficult, especially in ethnic families, is that not only are there helicopter parents but there are a lot of helicopter aunts and uncles. People who see you as their children and still treat you like it when you’re an adult with your own family. They don’t care. And they push boundaries and it really does affect the relationship negatively. It’s so hard.
It's because ethnics are collectivists while whites are individualists.
Imo, I think it's a mistake for ethnic people trying to make in the first world to recreate their homeland through their kids.
In fact, I think that people whom desire success in the first world shouldn't even think about wanting to start a family.
@@neonfroot good points
Absolutely, I also want to throw the mix of the bullshit caste system that Asian families have that I hate: the older you are the more respect you deserve, which translates to, if you're an elder you can say whatever the fuck you want and we the "younings" just gotta accept it, but the moment you speak out against it or throw a quick snappy response that matches theirs snarky remark, all of a sudden you're the disrespectful piece of shit that needs to learn manners. I currently live with my grandmother and understand that there are rules that I should follow because I'm under her roof, I'm not arguing against it. What I don't think it entitles is, she's able to crack open the door to peek inside to see what I'm up to(I'm 23) and when I catch her she either pretends to come In to use my restroom or she quickly closes the door. When I come out late at night to eat because I'm hungry, it's not just because I get hungry but she assumes I'm on drugs. Can a young adult get hungry without being asked if I'm on drugs? I also asked her why my relatives always make the comment that I'm skinny. All my father's children have been skinny, genetics play a favor and circumstance, I survived years off of TV dinners, top ramen, and occasional home cooked meals from my mother(who doesn't like cooking), but you know what my grandmothers response was? "It's because they wanna make sure you're not smoking crack, skinny people usually smoke crack" hollllllyyyyy fuckkk mannnm!
Hell no that’s not flying with me.
No, "ethnic" families do not enable dependency, so stop using "culture" as an excuse.
Kamala Harris's mum didn't allow her or her sister to be dependent.
Her mum, an East Indian immigrant, taught her daughters that they didn't just fall out of a coconut tree.
If you make your kids dependent on you as a parent even when they are adults it creates a "Man Child."
It creates an "old infant." Unfortunately I know some people that fit that description.
Am I a man child?
Or a woman-child. Women don't get off the hook.
@@IceColdProfessional I agree 1,000%. No free pass for the young ladies!
@@IceColdProfessional Yes! I know many people who still pay for things and take care of things for their adult children in their late 20's 30's that make a lot of money. It's silly.
Your kids will always be your kids. Just don't treat them like kids when they're becoming adults.
Wut do I do?
Jobs and paying rent did nothing.
And peace is still ineffective.
Helicopter parents are the worst. You are doing your kid a huge disservice.
I grew up with a helicopter grandfather and he didn’t allow me to develop as quickly as others. Helicopter parenting is horrible. Kids need responsibilities
My mom gave me my SS card and birth certificate when I went to college. They stayed in a safe deposit box. It didn't even take me getting married. I also knew how to do laundry and cook well before high school graduation.
My children received all their documents on their 18th birthday.
Do you want a cookie or something?
“You’re a danger to your kid no matter what. You can let them go out into the world and be hurt, or you can overprotect them and hurt them that way.
Here’s your choice: You can make your children competent and courageous, or you can make them safe.
But you can’t make them safe, because life isn’t safe.
So, if you sacrifice their courage and competence on the altar of safety, then you disarm them completely.
And all they can do is pray to be protected.”
Jordan Peterson, interview with John Anderson
Fight>flight>freeze>fawn
Fighting is always most important.
Fawning is practically a surrender to everyone’s will around you. Somewhat of a recipe for autism the earlier that habits picked up.
They just eat up everyone’s pain like poison. 💀
Also love J.P. but when you look ar his daughter, where did he go wrong?
“Leave yo mama. Take yo stuff!” 😂
I work at school. I recently saw a mom with her son walk into the school and she told him she was going to time him and see if he could get to class on time ( There were no kids walking in the hall at the time ... how's that going to help?) He just stood there like a deer in the headlights look ...he didn't move! She commanded to start walking to his first class! I raised three sons.... there's no way they would have let me do that and nor would I even think of it!! I was embarrassed for him!
I've known parents who plan their teenage kids dates!
I live in the UK and in 1992 I was made to leave school at 16 and take a job in a factory. Over half of my wage was taken to pay my keep for living at home. I bought my own car and paid for my own driving lessons. I eventually got to go to university in my 30s, when I could afford to pay for it myself. My parents never paid for any of this stuff for me, I never got pocket money and have worked for everything that I have.
Kids these days are too pampered and some parents are still paying their kids' way in to their 20s and 30s.
It's damned wrong that these people still sponge off their parents.
"They need to feel the weight of the rent." Amen to this.
Let them buy houses.
Good on Dave. When our sons were small we were able to teach them to be disciplined and financially responsible.
Now they are college grads in their mid/late 20's, with professional jobs, and just killing it.
They don't need us to direct them, and that was our goal.
The same Dave who hired all his children and spouses into his company on high paying jobs.
@@SleepCove I would do the same if I could. Wouldn’t you? And btw, how many spouses does Dave have?
My older sister whose 26 and married gets an allowance from my grandparents every month, pays her and her husband phone bill, car insurance and I believe part of their rent. It’s disgusting. They use them for money and it’s pathetic. But just because I went off a little bit of the beating path as a teenager and got a slow start and now I’m independent and no one helps me, they still look at me and laugh just cause I don’t have a college degree. I’m a nobody to them. Literally. Those are family I don’t talk to or associate with. Families can be jacked up! Glad I have my dad and step mother still and my sibs! Agreed Dave on this one!
Okay, you are amazing & seriously I think you turned out the better one lol no disrespect but I read this and think WOW about your sister 😬😂🤦♀️
Their wealth won’t last. They’ll burn through it all. Sounds like you have learned better values even though your life isn’t as easy as theirs..
I am happy to say that I have amazing parents who helped me when I needed it. They always provided me with financial support if needed. Today, I am happy to say that none of the kids (brother and sister and myself) need or rely on our parents for financial support.
"Freaking little baby children" 🤣
Yes this was my dad!! Thank the lord my strong husband and the Lord helped me grow up!!!!!! Amen!!!
Wow - this really hits home, and I’m grateful for the candor on this topic. My in laws have a very different family culture than I grew up with, and Dave’s court room imitation felt very familiar. Dave is like my digital ‘crazy’ uncle. Appreciate the insight!
I like when Dave curses, makes me feel a lil better about myself
😂😂 true
Lol. Wow.
This is so true spot on Dave! I just left a wedding, that got cancelled! Because her parents was crazy about everything about the wedding. They wanted to control everything. It was Like "the parents" was getting married, like they was giving there property away. They had to be involved in everything, and was making everything worse and more stressful.
You Dodged a bullet
Run, Forrest, run!!!
@@alphadiallo1655 it was my friend. I was the best man But yeah.
Y
I love this. My parents are like this, they do it in love. But it has made my other three siblings independence very difficult. Thank you for this!! I will do this for my own daughters.
These are the types of parents who call employers demanding to know why their son/daughter wasn't hired.
It's called being self reliant, a dying concept.
Also usually called broke.
Where is Casey the Spammer? 😂
This is why I’ve been feeling too anxious to make any decisions for myself as an adult. I feel like I’m not allowed to with the feeling of them watching my every move.
I know a helicopter parent that is now 75 years old. Her 38 year old daughter dispatches her to go do fine dining take outs on a bicycle, during a pandemic, and makes her pay! And the worst part. The 75 year old helicopter parent is too stupid to realize what’s wrong with this picture. Really blows my mind.
Once told my SIL (in his hone) to put the Tupperware lid on the top rack in the dishwasher. He politely told me that he was an adult! 😊 lesson learned
And dont you ever cross that boundary again! 😁
😂😂
Failure is the greatest teacher .
"Leave yo Mama and take yo stuff wit ya" LOL 🤣 I love you Dave LOL 🤣🤣🤣
My in-laws were that way with my husband. He credits me for giving him a backbone. It is actually kind of funny, recently my husband and I were talking about how much a dental bill was...out of pocket. My FIL made the statement, "That's what happens when you don't have insurance." I jumped back very quickly, "Oh, we HAVE insurance. That was the amount we had to pay AFTER insurance." I WISH I would have videoed the conversation because the look on his face was priceless. I went on to say, "I HAVE dental insurance on all THREE of us."
so you are his mommy now, nothing changed
Sometimes you have to shut people down. Good for you. Taught him not to cross that boundary.
By making them accountable for themselves, it should also push more adult children to make a life for themselves through their own actions instead of letting the world determine it for them.
A lot of cultures don't allow females to leave the main family unless they are married.
And honestly that's probably fix alot of problems with society.
@@midmichiganrr24gp9 how is that? Please explain.
So I’m just curious. Since they’re forcing her to stay home do the6 treat these women like children? I’ve heard of it but wonder does it lead t9 situations like this that Dave speaks of?
@@TheePrettyGirlSwag I’m a woman with ethnic background. in my personal experience and observations, girls and women raised by helicopter parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents tend to be more independent and pushing boundaries/limitations than boys and men. We tend to want to escape the toxicity and unhealthy raising, so when we are able to get out from our parents hold, we are very capable of taking care of ourselves and adulting than our male counterparts.
I have missed Dave's rant videos
Tomorrow's rant will be to Sharon for making him wear that shirt😎
4:47 side kick over steps her boundaries than has a “oops I touched the hot stove” reaction 😂
Sending this video to my wife! Just got through going over this with my wife about our son being in college. She like your seminar when we did it a few years back. Maybe, she will listen to you. Thanks for making the message from another person's viewpoint that she trusts.
Keep rocking the freaking short sleeve shirts Dave!
I've Seen More Pictures Of The Kraken Than His Bare Elbows...
@@tha9thwondertv976 what are your thoughts of his elbows now that you've seen it? Are you satisfied or disappointed 🤔
His arms look great in them
Good luck on financial freedom everyone.
I heard what Dave really wanted to say. It was legendary 🤣🤣🤣
I paid RENT at 16yrs old.
My Fathers Philosophy was that if you work you contribute financially.
Whether you're 16 or 60 is irrelevant.
Not legal
Making a 16 year old pay rent is ridiculous. I really hate seeing when parents foist adulthood onto their minor children. You get to be a kid once. You shouldn’t rush childhood.
Ya i can really speak to this honestly. Ive been outta the house for many years and have a totally weird relationship w my parents. Im not sure if they “owe” me anything or not based on daves logic , but its honestly easier just to let it go and have my own path to financial freedom. Lot of mental illness and i understand that. No reason to ruffle feathers honestly. Totally a control problem like dave mentioned (ie opening my mail , financial statements while under their roof without my permission….harboring my social security card, refusing to pass along birth certificates, not telling me anything about probates/ wills, dad refusing to let mom see her own 401k balances etc. serious mental illness. Eventually just took original copies of my things and helped my mom re-establish her financial logins and left town)
0:36 the side kick mastered the disappointed but still agreeing with Ramsey look. Impressed.
Many times bad parents hurt their adult children. Most times parents don’t raise their children. Just my opinion
It's the parents responsibility to spend lots of time with their children, especially when they are small, and teach them by example, reinforced by explanation, of what is important. Read to them, talk with them, correct them when needed, get them into sports, or music, take them to the park, make sure they have friends. If you don't have that kind of time to spend with them, don't have kids.
It does affect the marriage! Christy is spot on.
I ask my 93 year old mom for advice about paint colors, cooking recipes, etc. But my financial stuff, never. I have not discussed MY money with her since high school.
You should see my niece, her step mom won't even let her have a phone conversation with us without hoovering, telling her what to say! She has put such a wedge in the family in the name of religion and now my , 21 yr old niece thinks we are evil. Niece came to visit called home at least dz times a day. Had to pray. She became overwhelmed had to leave us. She went away to college, hope it helps
Oh, that could be interesting. Did the stepMom move in with her at college? I wonder what will happen the first time someone gives her drugs or she loses her virginity? That will be epic!
Hoovering, like vacuuming?
I hope that helps too! It’s sad when parents won’t let their children be themselves. That has a huge effect on them and it will show in adulthood unless they seek counseling and God.
Not to mention your doing damage to your future grandchild cause they don’t even get a grownup parent
My kids will always have a place in my home and have any support no matter how old they are.
If they live with me as an adult and need me to get by in life I've failed as a parent.
Your second sentence is completely opposite of the first.
@@grod805 exactly what I thought
@@grod805😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This should go for drill sergeant parents also.
God bless dave ramsey
I have a helicopter Mom, and I am only 51, yes 51!
This is spot on
I needed this. Close to home. Except I pay all my own stuff
Absolutely spot on !!
I have been calling my parents roommates and definitely one of the most healthy and best decision I could ever make for myself. And since roommates don’t micromanage you and not even include you in things then that’s what you are. It’s honestly no different if I moved in with a friend, knowing as a boyfriend and she going out on a date which leaves me to my own leisure.
Thank you Dave.
I know a parent that takes the money out of their adult kids accounts and pays their bills for the adult kid instead of them doing it themselves
I like Dave's shirt today lol. He should have his own clothing line lol🤣🤣🤣
Many helicopter parents think they are helping their kids and they end up hurting them.
It’s ignorance and unawareness
I don't even remember what was going on with my daughter but I had kept my mouth shut for a long time and I finally said honey I don't want to be an interfering mother/mother in law/grandma but Can I talk to you about this and give you a little advice? My daughter said "mom, please tell me, help me you're my mom. You're supposed to interfere and tell me what to do!". I only could advice whenits ask for.
Love this
I'd love to read a comment from a parent who has an adult married son or daughter, fits this profile of a helicopter parent/in-law, and who is willing to share why they can't allow their adult children to live independently. It would be helpful to hear firsthand what's behind that.
People like that have control issues. Guaranteed that you will see evidence of these control issues in other parts of their lives as well…
My husband told me ,his parents stayed with their parents after marrying, so that they can save for a downpayment to buy a house.This really helped his parents have a great start in life.
These rich parents that give their kids all the opportunities (full college tuition & jobs) do not have the right to put down other parents who support their kids.
If you support adult children they will remain poor forever.
You gotta fund their success
If it's about mom or dad, not the grown child kid, the parent will control regardless of the damage they do. And some grown children won't stand up for themselves
This topic is so strange to me as I never had a dad, who could not care less about me and my siblings and my mom was not really able to even give me some real world help. I was 18 and all on my own and made a lot of mistakes that I never would have done, if I had had some adult guidance.
I’ve read that when your child grows up the relationship goes from mother/father to more of an aunt/uncle.
How old are you?
Look at how your grandparents interact with your parents. That is how your parents should interact with you when you are an adult.
Can someone point me to the call that they are talking about???
We are currently in the position where we are saving for our kids college. How would you relate this video to helping to pay for their college?
I wish all people fell into one of Dave's buckets. Some people have mental health issues and parents are forced to assist, unfortunately.
Some confuse assistance with codependent behavior.
Most adults are incapable of seeing younger people as individuals. They really are. Children and young adults are treated as eternal pets whose only purpose is to please their elders.
Whenever children voice their desire to grow up, they're called ungrateful/ ignorant because " muh bills and deadlines".
Whenever kids have their own subculture, adults try to criminalise it.
Adults, especially men, do everything in their power to smother the youth into doing their selfish bidding.
Then, they turn around call the young "dumb/weak/lazy".
I'm starting to think adolescence was invented because parents were afraid of being left behind. Anyone whom knows history knows that teenagers don't exist. There's only children and adults. Adolescence is the artificial extension of childhood. Now, adolescence is being extended to the thirties and forties.
It's making a much weaker society.
good episode
Now I am curious… which call are they referring to? Anyone got a link to that original call? ;D
Amen!!
Yes
my parents are divorced and don’t interact so they don’t discuss on how to handle the life choices of me and my brothers. My mom handles it one way and my dad handles it another, I am 28 and financially independent. I don’t consider my dad a helicopter but I can’t make a life decision without my dad lecturing me on it and telling me how to handle the situation, when I’ve already done exactly what he’s lecturing me about…. yes I’m still very young for being 28 but I’m not 13 anymore. The best way to grow up is to learn from your mistakes, here’s how I explained it to my mother “it’s ok to watch me trip and fall on my face, but don’t let me fall off a cliff”
If you dont want people commenting on your choices, don't talk to them about your choices.
@@christinebutler7630 I do agree with that statement, on the other hand sometimes you just need to vent your choices and the frustrations of dealing with a situation. to add to my original comment “just cause I’m telling you about my choices doesn’t mean I’m asking to be criticized or asking for advice, if I want your advice I’ll ask for it”
Just visit your parents twice a year!
Where's the video from that phone call?
I’m assuming “their stuff” qualifies your children in that category. which is exactly what my daughters grandparents(mother’s side & mother isn’t in the picture) are trying to do to my child and I.
Has Dave lost weight? Lookin’ thinner, my guy!
🤸🏾🥳 Go Dave!
Does anyone know if there is a good book that speaks about parental and in-law boundaries and relationships?
My spouse calls me a helicopter parent because I’m very aware of where our kids are and what they are doing.
Doesn’t mean I interfere, but knowing where a 5yo, 3yo, and 5mo are when we are at the park…
Or when they are around a pool.
Listening in case they choke while eating… or sitting next to them from time to time encouraging our picky eaters to eat real food.
Paying attention to what they watch and blocking things they shouldn’t.
Frustrating.
Now if they are teens and I’m still making sure my eyes are on them most of the time because I can’t trust them to eat🤣
This is unload before 8am so I wonder how today’s show on radio will shape up?
Does this mean I can't store stuff in my mom's crawl space anymore?
Agree with him but man he has a bad habit of cutting off his cohosts.
It’s his show and Christy kinda has it coming because she tries to dominate all the time.
it's a man's country.
*sarcasm*
Christy needs to settle down as she tries to dominate the conversation, he's not working for her, she's working for him.
I seriously wonder what would have happened if any of the Ramsey kids didn’t want to work at dad’s company and went off on their own.
I don't think Dave ever demanded any of his children work for his company. Rachel wanted to be involved from the time she was in high school. His other daughter runs their foundation. I don't know what his son does.
@@wiseowl2020 his son also works at Ramsey Solutions
They are pretty competent. I don't doubt they could make it without Daddy. Have you listened to his daughter. She is pretty with it.
Oh, boy can I ever relate to this! My parents were never the "helicopter" parents. My mother in law is a different story. My husband and I are both sixty years old. When his mother (who lives out of state) came to visit us for a two week vacaton, she "mothered" us to death in our own home. She treated both of us as if we were incompetent children. She gave her negative judgements and unsolicted opinions about every single one of our life choices. She literally scolded us and ordered us around in our own home. It was so infuriating. The "leave and cleave" commandment for marriage should be taken as a dead serious thing. It exists for a good reason. To protect marriages. Mainly from the interference of parents (and In-laws). Parents (on both sides) need to "release" their adult children to their spouses and take a step back. They need to display respect and trust that their grown children have become capable independent adults that are entitled to make their own life decisions.
You also damage the relationship with successful adult siblings.
I am always berated and fueled with “and how can you afford that how will you afford that with a job!” Type of stuff. Their concern is when I am financially independent to still control my spending and expenses. Told me to be eating at taco bell and McDonald’s where my mother lives, when I Google her location millions of fresh places to eat. But according to her ramen, beans and rice basically. Taco Bell and McDonald’s because I too broke to be on her standard which is below America’s income etc
Sounds like my ex’s parents.. and they both are Chinese
Many cultures do not allow their children to fledge in the full sense the way most American children do. They are also rightfully fearful of losing their only child as that's all they were allowed to have.
@@wiseowl2020 yeah, like Dave said it’s cause issues because they so immature and they 30 or 40 years and act teenager..Because those culture don’t allow their kids grow up
@@darrenroberts637 Yeah, my brother runs a furniture delivery business and he encounters "helicopter" parents and grandparents all the time. He could write an advice book and it would sell well. LOL!
My FIL hovers but not from a power and control, it’s from his codependency issues. He’s insecure with his own marriage so he tries to cling to his daughter (my wife) for emotional support drives me nuts.
Your wife needs to set boundaries with her father. My mother did the same thing to me when I was younger. It caused problems in my marriage because I didn't realize I was reacting to my Mother's emotional needs rather than my husband's. It wasn't fun to set those boundaries but it made it better for everyone.
@@wiseowl2020 yeah for sure - I’ve been pushing her on that point. She’s the oldest and doesn’t want to be rude, etc. but I’ve told her look you aren’t married to your dad, so this isn’t your role in his life. He needs to deal with his wife and find some other friends and hobbies to occupy his time
Is this video in Spanish somewhere? I really need to send this to my mom 😂
Guilty here! However, I am teaching my kids to be independent when they were 5s.
We society have to put up with this adult child, lol
Wow "helicopter parents" sounds a lot like Ramsey Solutions ruling over the people working for them...
Dave, come on. We know you paid for your kids to go through school and then gave them jobs, i.e. just giving them money. You’ve got to be a little more in touch
Right lol
Do you question the competency of his children to make it on their own? They are pretty with it and bright. They certainly don't give off "Living in Mom's basement , smoking dope and playing videos all day" vibes.
Dave's advice is spot on.
Ur arms look great dave
Funny how people in this comment thread talk about how well adjusted their kids are doing after going to college and just killing it. Those kids had good familia support, but they wave their flags like they didn’t helicopter their kids to that point. I know kids at 15 having to provide for the extended family and dropping out of H.S. to work. Some have built businesses and are now multi-millionaires. Now that’s killing it on your own.
This isn’t a good story. This is sad. 15 year olds should not be supporting families.
@@thekiaradanielle good experience better than the alternative
I think history has shown parent have not been close enough ... not knowing the school board, not running for school board ... but after they get married there is a difference
Make sure to do a talk about other kinds of parenting as well. The struggling single parents who are trying but can't seen to catch a break, the evasive/neglectful parents who are too busy to bother, the over indulgent parents who give everything except their time, the disappearing parent(s) who leave and never come back, the verbal/mental/physical/emotional/sexual abusive parents, the critcal/judgmental parents of you're/it's never good enough, the pushy parents exhausting the kids to be the best at everything with no end in sight, the "I have my favorite child" parents, the I expect you to act like an adult at 5 or I'm gonna keep treating you like a 5 year old even though you're an adult parents, the anything goes permissive parents of do whatever you want whenever you want with whoever you want, the hypocritical parents of don't do what I do do what I say, the foot loose and fancy free parents of if I drink/smoke/do drugs you can too, the criminal parents of always on the go/move to avoid the law, the incognito parents of no socialization whatsoever, the coddling parents of let mommy/daddy take care of everything for you and the comparison parents of why can't you be more like so and so. Did I miss any?