Top Ten WORST Corona Virus Solutions: ONE TAKE w/ John Crist

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 4. 02. 2021
  • "Honestly who's idea was outdoor/indoor dining?" One Take is the new weekly show from comedian John Crist. It's one topic and one take on the nation's hottest and trending topics.
    Season 2, episode 1.
    John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristcomedy.com​.
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 929

  • @AFeastOfIdeas
    @AFeastOfIdeas Před 3 lety +385

    Our local Target closed their bathrooms but set up outdoor Porta potty‘s. How is it that indoor bathrooms covered in porcelain and metal (the EASIEST surfaces to disinfect) are bad but Porta potty‘s with NO RUNNING WATER to wash your hands and has that horrible sunbaked scratched up plastic that nobody ever cleans are considered a safer option????

    • @abbykurtz5115
      @abbykurtz5115 Před 3 lety +26

      haha that is such an illogical solution

    • @DanielRodriguez3
      @DanielRodriguez3 Před 3 lety +27

      Who in the world is in change of making these decisions at the local and corporate level?! Makes no sense!

    • @littledancingfawn
      @littledancingfawn Před 3 lety +5

      I don’t know how truthful this is ( it was in the news), but in Wuhan China there were cases of covid in this apartment building after the forced lockdown. Their lockdown was very serious. You could go to jail and or the government would weld doors shut. Anyways, they determined that covid was being spread through the plumbing system.
      We carry viruses in our poo/gas. When the toilet flushes it spreads those germs all over the bathroom. That’s why they tell you to close the lid and cover your toothbrushes before flushing even before the Wuhan virus.

    • @HeritageWaysKatie
      @HeritageWaysKatie Před 3 lety +4

      Oh my word! Gross! 🥺😳

    • @lauradimama9794
      @lauradimama9794 Před 3 lety +15

      Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously, this has all devolved into a terrible combination of insanity and lack of self-awareness. And anyone who asks a legitimate question is reacted to like the last person left at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

  • @mlynnefield
    @mlynnefield Před 3 lety +141

    How to count with John Crist:
    10, 9, 3, 4, 5, 5b, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

    • @nataliegerdano6028
      @nataliegerdano6028 Před 3 lety +9

      I was going to see if anybody noticed that!😂🤣 he started from 10 and then ended with 10. I was like uhhh did he know/mean to do that!!😂

    • @ashleylewis2783
      @ashleylewis2783 Před 3 lety +6

      Yes when he said three I was so confused. I thought maybe I’d fallen asleep 😆

    • @linzdubs5258
      @linzdubs5258 Před 3 lety +5

      I was wondering that too! 😂 at first I thought he was counting down but all of a sudden he is counting up 😂

    • @bethfurry7461
      @bethfurry7461 Před 3 lety +3

      Maybe so, but it was still funny!

    • @carriegilbert1153
      @carriegilbert1153 Před 3 lety +5

      That was a little confusing but in the end didn’t really matter. It does match up with the illogical things going on in society

  • @lindseyjarvis2305
    @lindseyjarvis2305 Před 3 lety +183

    I just about spit out my coffee when he said, “and oh, by the way, ISN’T THAT what we’ve all been doing these past 7-11 months, screaming inside our hearts...” 😂😭😂😂

  • @WillyWillThe3rd
    @WillyWillThe3rd Před 3 lety +247

    I want an extended cut episode with all of John’s “I’m not gonna do that joke” jokes

  • @patrickcampbell5090
    @patrickcampbell5090 Před 3 lety +139

    “Please scream inside your hearts”
    “Coronavirus gets lit after 10 pm”
    I need both of those sayings on a shirt

  • @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam
    @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam Před 3 lety +146

    "Nevermind the FACTS" Slogan for 2020-2021

    • @bennyzebra1386
      @bennyzebra1386 Před 3 lety +7

      No it’s, we choose truth over facts

    • @IzzyNChrist
      @IzzyNChrist Před 3 lety +1

      lol exactly

    • @chrischapman276
      @chrischapman276 Před 2 lety +1

      @@bennyzebra1386 WE DON'T NEED THE FACTS. WE NEED THE TRUTH!
      (Joey Biden)

    • @ellen823ful
      @ellen823ful Před rokem

      If you actually spoke about facts you were and still are shut down. Never give up Americans!!!

  • @bemak78
    @bemak78 Před 3 lety +371

    It's like wearing a mask in your car while driving by yourself! 😆

    • @ladyjade6446
      @ladyjade6446 Před 3 lety +39

      They wear condoms when they are alone as well.

    • @mothertwinkles4198
      @mothertwinkles4198 Před 3 lety +4

      🤦

    • @DaveBaldwin1
      @DaveBaldwin1 Před 3 lety +11

      @@AEE341 hand sanitizer my friend. If it's on your hands, It's on your door handle, steering wheel, gear shifter, seat belt, etc.

    • @JMarieCAlove
      @JMarieCAlove Před 3 lety +7

      It makes sense if that person has bad allergies, dust gets inside the car too. There’s nothing wrong if they just want to feel safe. Don’t make fun of people who just want to be safe. And no, I don’t wear a mask in my car when I’m driving.

    • @WiseOne.
      @WiseOne. Před 3 lety +22

      @@AEE341
      Not sure how politics got brought up... but I’mma trump supporter and I don’t wear a mask ever

  • @joesphmichael9283
    @joesphmichael9283 Před 3 lety +40

    The funny part is people believe these "solutions' and get upset if others don't fall in line.

  • @lorenacortese7302
    @lorenacortese7302 Před 3 lety +66

    Currently living in Chile, in South America, and they have banned music in restaurants...cause that will help prevent the spread of COVID.

  • @extendedlimits
    @extendedlimits Před 3 lety +47

    *child throws a tantrum*
    "Stop it Jimmy! We scream with our hearts not our mouths!"

  • @afaiths219
    @afaiths219 Před 3 lety +18

    "Haven't we already been screaming inside our hearts for the last 7-11 months?"
    YES. Yes we have.

  • @terrinadeau8965
    @terrinadeau8965 Před 3 lety +95

    Here’s one: figure skaters in empty stadium skate with no mask on, BUT when they sit by themselves waiting for their score(with no one near) WEAR A MASK!

    • @a.k.4085
      @a.k.4085 Před 3 lety +1

      😆🤣🤣😂🤣

    • @biker5662
      @biker5662 Před 3 lety +8

      It's all just for show... to look like they care and are doing something to "slow the spread."I 🙄

    • @taoist32
      @taoist32 Před 3 lety +12

      @@biker5662 Everything the government does is for show. Why anyone takes this seriously is beyond me. Never in the history of humankind has a virus locked down everyone in the entire world.

    • @rmkpilates
      @rmkpilates Před 3 lety +5

      We need you...keep up the good work..
      Peace out...😎😎😎

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 2 lety

      🤣🤣🤣 because MSM needs a Mask

  • @janibrahim4388
    @janibrahim4388 Před 3 lety +208

    We're watching one of the best Christian CZcamsrs
    Keep it up

  • @GoldenWolf248
    @GoldenWolf248 Před 3 lety +121

    John’s hair sums up how we all feel about 2020.

  • @ATLKing404
    @ATLKing404 Před 3 lety +408

    He's really pulling off the whole John The Baptist look

    • @McScott76
      @McScott76 Před 3 lety +4

      You must be thinking of Cool Carll over at Sunday Tees.

    • @lilamerican7296
      @lilamerican7296 Před 3 lety +1

      😂😂😂

    • @pastorofmuppets8834
      @pastorofmuppets8834 Před 3 lety +1

      Almost like Jesus Christ even

    • @karaa7595
      @karaa7595 Před 3 lety +3

      If John the Baptist were metrosexual and waved his hands around like a homosexual. 😆 Haha. Just having some fun!

    • @Vickiecole420
      @Vickiecole420 Před 3 lety +3

      If 2020 was a person it would look like he does

  • @stevea.7406
    @stevea.7406 Před 3 lety +133

    You know you're onto something when CZcams attaches their covid19 disclaimer warning

  • @isaacsumner
    @isaacsumner Před 3 lety +26

    "Displaced-by-a-hurricane vibe" hilarious!

  • @TheBridget272
    @TheBridget272 Před 3 lety +140

    The serving tray slays me. You touched my bag to put it on the tray! Is it so we don't accidentally brush hands during the exchange? We're more paranoid than fifth-graders walking beside each other in the hallway.

    • @mrssimon2373
      @mrssimon2373 Před 3 lety +6

      Cooties

    • @biblebagel2960
      @biblebagel2960 Před 3 lety +12

      @@mrssimon2373 COOTIE-19

    • @alisavaneerden4551
      @alisavaneerden4551 Před 3 lety +1

      @@biblebagel2960 😂😂😂

    • @afaiths219
      @afaiths219 Před 3 lety +7

      I love the part about 97 other people touching your food before it even gets in the bag. 🤣

    • @iyaayas
      @iyaayas Před 2 lety

      I liked how our taco bell packaged our food then sent it out in the plastic bin that the employees used to get it to us from the drive through. It was easier for them to reach out and easier for me to grab. I'm sure it had everything to do with health but it was more convenient for me to grab and go.

  • @Silver-cl2bd
    @Silver-cl2bd Před 3 lety +171

    Driving in the car alone wearing a mask and gloves and a face shield with your windows rolled up.

    • @evelynkendle6464
      @evelynkendle6464 Před 3 lety +21

      I’ve seen ppl wear masks in their car. Like fr???

    • @kevinyoder7052
      @kevinyoder7052 Před 3 lety +34

      Wearing a mask while in a car alone, is like using a condom to masturbate...

    • @alexthegreat1395
      @alexthegreat1395 Před 3 lety +5

      @@kevinyoder7052 Accomplished nothing

    • @AudreyStar17
      @AudreyStar17 Před 3 lety +5

      😆😆🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    • @jake-qf9dl
      @jake-qf9dl Před 3 lety +4

      @@evelynkendle6464 I seen people where masks in the public pool LMAO

  • @Kam-A-Mations
    @Kam-A-Mations Před 3 lety +124

    whats great about John Crist is he is only sharing facts. no opinions, if he does then it's a joke and he makes it clear.

    • @Mrfireface2
      @Mrfireface2 Před 2 lety

      Just because he says he's objective 20 times doesn't actually mean he's objective lol.

  • @WFO_SonicSpeed
    @WFO_SonicSpeed Před 3 lety +163

    “Toy Story Is Racist”
    People are honestly just looking for things to get offended by now I think.

  • @tapestryofgrace5
    @tapestryofgrace5 Před 3 lety +39

    “Outdoor indoor dining” 😂😂
    “Displaced by hurricane“ 😂
    “Please scream inside your heart” 🤣

  • @chaosglory99
    @chaosglory99 Před 3 lety +42

    It’s called a false sense of security. Don’t take that from people 😆

    • @jewelleryaddict
      @jewelleryaddict Před 2 lety

      yep we will never figure this out that none of this helps.

  • @westernewyorker8906
    @westernewyorker8906 Před 3 lety +49

    Yes, let's create something with a roof and walls that is temperature controlled.... You mean like a building!???!? Love it

  • @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam
    @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam Před 3 lety +27

    There's an ejection seat 💺 on the roller coaster so if you forget to scream inside your heart it's over, baby

    • @biker5662
      @biker5662 Před 3 lety

      Bahahahaha!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @kevinburroughs6583
    @kevinburroughs6583 Před 3 lety +13

    A "solution" near me in Md. The stores have all the people go in and our one sef of doors (the same doors) and only open 1 set of registers. So the lines are longer, more people are gatheres, but they are 6 feet apart

    • @jewelleryaddict
      @jewelleryaddict Před 2 lety

      yep we had the ridiculous door thing so my handicap parking sticker was no use was forced to walk along with others in wheel chairs and old men n ladies who already have trouble walking further to their car but no one cares..

  • @kellywilson6205
    @kellywilson6205 Před 3 lety +56

    John, please do a ONE TAKE on the subject of VALENTINE'S Day!

    • @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam
      @DunderMifflin_ThisisPam Před 3 lety +5

      Yes!! Do it! Great idea 💡

    • @sweetroseblue
      @sweetroseblue Před 3 lety +5

      Yes. I can't stand Valentine's Day.

    • @ashleydowney1222
      @ashleydowney1222 Před 3 lety +2

      I don't like Valentine's Day. It's only because I have been single for the majority of my life. I am 28 and have single for basically 28 years.

    • @malibudolphin3109
      @malibudolphin3109 Před 3 lety +3

      It's Saint Valentine
      He loved the Lord Jesus
      And when the emperor made marriage illegal, he keep marrying couples, honoring Gods way for humans & society, to have a man committed to a woman & raise a family Together, creating a beautiful family, beautiful society

  • @Wilbtube
    @Wilbtube Před 3 lety +72

    YES YES YES - this is the common sense I've been thirsting for like a deer thirting for clear water.

  • @Randylayhe001
    @Randylayhe001 Před 3 lety +19

    Those dining tents are really ‘rona incubators...

  • @reesecup3ify
    @reesecup3ify Před 3 lety +36

    In my area some of the solutions have been to remove the Baskets at the grocery store because somehow covid spreads on the baskets but not the carts. Another solution is to stop the recycling collection. Because I guess recycling and preserving the environment spreads covid.

    • @jewelleryaddict
      @jewelleryaddict Před 2 lety +4

      yep couldnt take in my own bags but can touch their bags I must pay ten cents a bag for now cause of a new law and of course all this while holding on to their cart which about one thousand others have touched, spit on and sneezed on etc,

    • @ladymopar2024
      @ladymopar2024 Před 2 lety

      And it's not uniform oh, I went on vacation and was surprised that I didn't need my own bag when I went into the store

  • @robertandersen3527
    @robertandersen3527 Před 3 lety +13

    Manz just went 10,9,8,7,6,5,6,7,8,9,10. Best top ten list of all time

  • @monique7885
    @monique7885 Před 3 lety +17

    2:36 love how the restaurant is called Two Wrongs. The indoor/outdoor dining situation is an absolute mess.

  • @JohnWizz
    @JohnWizz Před 3 lety +56

    I love how youtube stuck the "Learn More" about COVID-19 at the bottom of your video! You want to talk about a real JOKE! hahahahaha...

  • @rebekahwinkle3433
    @rebekahwinkle3433 Před 3 lety +12

    Satiric sarcasm is my favorite comedy 🤣🤣🤣 He does it very well.

  • @almostemptynester777
    @almostemptynester777 Před 3 lety +11

    At the fast food restaurant..took my money by hand, handed me my drink and straw by hand..put my bag of food on a tray...😑

  • @JulieS261
    @JulieS261 Před 3 lety +11

    This video just shows you how many inconsistencies there are where all of this is concerned. No-one is on the same page...in fact they're not even using the same book.

    • @susanfanning9480
      @susanfanning9480 Před 2 lety

      Yep. And after 7 months it still doesn't look like we're getting any closer to being on the same page. Are we doomed?😩

  • @laurabuckles7961
    @laurabuckles7961 Před 3 lety +16

    Those thumbs ups scared me for a sec, I thought the corona zombies were there.
    Also snorted at the thought of going to Applebee's for the ambiance.

  • @patrickschardt7724
    @patrickschardt7724 Před 3 lety +28

    Some cities are forcing restaurants and other businesses to lower the music volume so you aren’t talking loudly
    My favorite solution is the one where grocery stores plot out 6 feet increments for the lines but then have more registers in close proximity open. So the virus can’t move forward. Got it

    • @squirrelydan3
      @squirrelydan3 Před rokem

      Ok but I could get behind lower music volume. It's impossible to have a conversation in some places.

  • @rebekahray626
    @rebekahray626 Před 3 lety +39

    Anyone else notice he started counting down 10, 9, 8 then he switched to counting up 6, 7, 8, 9. Haha! 😂

    • @StanleyLamar
      @StanleyLamar Před 3 lety +2

      Thought it was just me. Lol

    • @kokomcdade2886
      @kokomcdade2886 Před 3 lety

      Lol....hilarious!!! I was gonna say that, but saw you already did 😂

    • @michaelmerck7576
      @michaelmerck7576 Před 3 lety

      @@kokomcdade2886 he is a comedian not a scientist

    • @kokomcdade2886
      @kokomcdade2886 Před 3 lety

      @@michaelmerck7576 hey hey! Since I don't know you, I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Either way, it (the counting) was funny.

  • @bobbell8185
    @bobbell8185 Před 3 lety +6

    I work as a truck driver, many companies throughout the US have closed bathrooms for drivers, when asked where can we go, they show us the trees. If we are lucky, we get Porta potties, that are filthy and cleaned only once a month...maybe. To me that's a bigger covid...(AIDS, STD)spreader than not wearing a mask in a grocery store, that has more people in it throughout the day than any church will! I think people have used COVID as an excuse for their laziness. Also why is it that phone call centers that are operated by people working from home, all of a sudden have hours of service changed, "due to covid"? Stupid.

    • @ellen823ful
      @ellen823ful Před rokem

      STUPID is the new smart. Upside down

  • @susannacordle9569
    @susannacordle9569 Před 3 lety +89

    Nobody:
    John's laugh: Whaahaha
    Everybody: Aww dat laugh just made my day!

  • @scottmacleod2944
    @scottmacleod2944 Před 3 lety +7

    I was a wrestler in middle school and high school and what he said was spot on. They really dont realize how close our faces got during matches. That is just beyond stupid.

  • @hannahrose-louise1510
    @hannahrose-louise1510 Před 3 lety +81

    Don’t forget no singing in church 😒 the absurdity

  • @celiawillis6908
    @celiawillis6908 Před 3 lety +24

    I can't believe we have come to this point

  • @xbemos
    @xbemos Před 3 lety +24

    “And oh btw, isn’t that what we’ve all been doing the last 7-11 months...screaming in our hearts”
    🤣🤣🤣

  • @Adama85
    @Adama85 Před 3 lety +24

    John, you are totally on point with the sarcasm and EPIC takedowns of the hypocrites in our "so called" government. I cracked up about 40-50 times during the video.

    • @geriweis-corbley7177
      @geriweis-corbley7177 Před 3 lety

      But most of these were NOT the government. These were dreamed up by businesses and sports leagues, etc. A little biased there?

    • @Adama85
      @Adama85 Před 3 lety +3

      @@geriweis-corbley7177 In case you missed it, big tech, big business, big pharma are all in an incestuous quid pro quo with the Deep State behind our government. Which shows that as long as the money flows, they will All promote the same lies and misinformation to the public, the truth be darned. Finally, just look at the data for states like Florida versus states with Draconian laws like ny and ca. Don't start with me.

    • @fuckgoogle4712
      @fuckgoogle4712 Před 3 lety

      @@geriweis-corbley7177 Not true. Most of these were mandated by local government, then upheld by corporations even as mandates expired.

  • @shalacarter6658
    @shalacarter6658 Před 3 lety +30

    Yesterday, we went to the doctor. The guy who was screening did not have his mask covering his nose. The receptionist lowered her mask, coughed, alot, onto her hands and didn't even stop to sanitize them. Even 1st graders know to cough into their elbows!

    • @lucycat4305
      @lucycat4305 Před 3 lety

      My SIL, who has been a nurse for 30 years, coughs into her hands.

    • @selorasoulstice
      @selorasoulstice Před 3 lety +6

      My daughter is a cancer patient. I'm allowed to wear my own mask into her doctors office but have to take mine off to put a "hospital approved" one on 100 feet down the hall just to go to the cafeteria. It's all so arbitrary, it's ridiculous.

    • @rosegroshek1218
      @rosegroshek1218 Před 3 lety +3

      Lol what 1st graders are you talking about? My roommate is a first grade teacher and they can’t even keep their masks on or social distance, and they shouldn’t have to.

    • @biker5662
      @biker5662 Před 3 lety +1

      🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 2 lety

      Well care is not sick care. It's proactive. Dr Livingood MD Dr Mark Hyman MD Dr Daniel Amen etc.

  • @bonnie3232
    @bonnie3232 Před 2 lety +2

    I love it when he gets tickled. He is wonderful. Speaks TRUTH and makes us laugh.

  • @keylub8356
    @keylub8356 Před 3 lety +26

    Any thumbnail with the word corona would have gotten demonetized without the CDC reminding you of its danger.
    CZcams is funny like that

  • @marcw6875
    @marcw6875 Před 3 lety +5

    I think I've been screaming inside my own heart for at least 20 years. ;)

  • @bakerfamily5352
    @bakerfamily5352 Před 3 lety +7

    Brilliant 👏 I’m so thankful for people with brains - sane people, thank you John Crist

  • @TheAshleyhearod
    @TheAshleyhearod Před 3 lety +53

    Pastors: Jesus Christ is always the solution

  • @davidlwinegar
    @davidlwinegar Před 3 lety +15

    Talented enough to start and end with number ten.

  • @2004dale
    @2004dale Před 2 lety +5

    10:17 so true about deliveries. The floor is one of the least clean places to put food. When I deliver I feel bad about it; a lot of times the food is well wrapped in plastic and paper bags so it’ll be okay. For customers who have a ledge or table or chair outside their front door I always aim to put the food there coz it’s bestest.

  • @AragonSoul79
    @AragonSoul79 Před 3 lety +11

    John’s hair is life and hurricane vibe, hahahaha

  • @anneadkins4403
    @anneadkins4403 Před 3 lety +24

    Or wearing double mask when virus can enter into your eyes and activate the virus. Or you can take off your mask in a restaurant and the virus takes a time out.

    • @melaniebailey895
      @melaniebailey895 Před 2 lety +5

      Lol I love the restaurant one….the virus can’t get me once they bring my drinks?

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 2 lety +2

      Only in Chain restaurants

    • @ellen823ful
      @ellen823ful Před rokem

      The virus 🦠 is very very small……shhh

  • @PinkSweets87
    @PinkSweets87 Před 3 lety +6

    Hug Glove....
    Sounds like something my Mum used to tell me, “No Glove, No Love.”
    LoL!!!!

  • @andrewmullinax952
    @andrewmullinax952 Před 3 lety +42

    John started at 10 then progressed down to 9...8 then he went back up and finished at 10

    • @alyssautter1535
      @alyssautter1535 Před 3 lety +4

      Lol I noticed that too and I was like "maybe I misheard? Idk seems weird" haha

    • @andrewmullinax952
      @andrewmullinax952 Před 3 lety +1

      @@alyssautter1535 ikr. I thought I misheard it too 😂

    • @hannahrose-louise1510
      @hannahrose-louise1510 Před 3 lety +3

      That’s because Covid is one disgusting loop. Obvi

  • @rebeccalees5808
    @rebeccalees5808 Před 3 lety +3

    Yes! We have been screaming inside our hearts for many months! Thank you for this John. 😍

  • @Chynal1186
    @Chynal1186 Před 3 lety +4

    "Please scream inside your hearts" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @SteveGordonInTexas
    @SteveGordonInTexas Před 3 lety +12

    John, that was fantastic! I can't remember the last time I've enjoyed some great humor like that. When you put up Hannibal Lecter, I almost lost it! Keep up the great work.

  • @juliewoods6810
    @juliewoods6810 Před 3 lety +30

    Comparing the hug contraption to the solution for not getting girls pregnant in high school 😂🤣. It’s all so ridiculous. I still hug everyone that is comfortable being hugged💜

    • @CateB9
      @CateB9 Před 3 lety

      Hug contraceptive

  • @lindstheteacher1611
    @lindstheteacher1611 Před 3 lety +15

    Yup, I had Covid in December. I also laughed my butt off here as a Californian Republican who had a more strict curfew in December than in high school.
    Also, the two maskers remind me of those who wear their masks alone in a car.

    • @tkw79
      @tkw79 Před 2 lety +2

      Hey I had covid for the first time last December too… the flu and pneumonia are a million times worse btw.

    • @michthemaverick0803
      @michthemaverick0803 Před rokem +1

      In CA, I'm still seeing people wearing 2 masks alone in their car with the windows up. I'm like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

  • @jasonfischer8946
    @jasonfischer8946 Před 3 lety +6

    I went to Chick fil a and saw that tray. I almost started laughing.

  • @mrhankey20
    @mrhankey20 Před 3 lety +8

    Glad I got to watch this before the Tube Lords take it down.

  • @selenagottuso9159
    @selenagottuso9159 Před 3 lety +3

    Love this forum of common sense, John! Enjoy it while it lasts!

  • @redpoppy3569
    @redpoppy3569 Před 3 lety +1

    At least they said please re screaming on rides. One supermarket in NYC orders customers to not talk unless absolutely necessary.

  • @andreareed2690
    @andreareed2690 Před 3 lety +1

    Lost it at "displaced by a hurricane vibe" 🤣

  • @mattoftexas
    @mattoftexas Před 3 lety +91

    “There’s no takes” and then names the show “One Take” therefore 0=1. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

    • @copocopocopocopo
      @copocopocopocopo Před 3 lety +7

      Well 0!=1! and n^0=1, so... yeah.

    • @totaw22
      @totaw22 Před 3 lety +12

      Notice he said takes, with an s, meaning more than 1 take. "There's no takes" means there is no more than one take. He only has one take.

    • @andrewmullinax952
      @andrewmullinax952 Před 3 lety +2

      Math at it's finest

    • @christiancommentary379
      @christiancommentary379 Před 3 lety +4

      Scream inside your 💜 🤣🤣

    • @joemerlin152
      @joemerlin152 Před 3 lety +5

      That's some Biden level math there.

  • @juliazackary8244
    @juliazackary8244 Před 3 lety +50

    This is well needed😂 Nice humorous spin on this situation!
    These are dumb solutions, because half the laws and regulations our government has made, are not really about the coronavirus. I mean, does our constitution even exist to the government anymore? People are blindly voting away their human and constitutional rights.

    • @geriweis-corbley7177
      @geriweis-corbley7177 Před 3 lety

      Your comment makes no sense to me.

    • @ellen823ful
      @ellen823ful Před rokem +1

      They know it now … how easy it is to hood wink 😉 us. Guess what!? I’m not complying!!! I will NEVER EVER comply!

  • @karlaoakleyanderson
    @karlaoakleyanderson Před 2 lety

    ‘Screaming inside our hearts.” That’s what we’ve been doing!!!!
    I’m gasping for air! 😂😂😂😷😷😷😷

  • @monique7885
    @monique7885 Před 3 lety +15

    You better watch out with all this logic John 🤣🤣

  • @DToddK
    @DToddK Před 3 lety +6

    I was at an amusement park purchasing an item at the gift shop. The cashier informed me of the total, I then removed cash from my wallet and proceeded to hand it to the cashier. The cashier picks up a small wicker basket and tells me to put it in the basket, presumably so that he doesn't have to touch the money. I drop it in the basket. He then grabs it out of the basket, counts it and puts in in the register. I stood there dumbfounded and that stupidity I just witnessed. I thought, unless that is a magic basket that purifies whatever it holds, what's the point of the basket?

  • @donniemccrorie19
    @donniemccrorie19 Před 3 lety +8

    Toy story 4 - Mr. Potato head 🥔?

  • @PhilKelley
    @PhilKelley Před 5 měsíci

    When they make a video for the Corona Virus holocaust museum, this should be the one you have to watch first. Thank you, John, for another excellent commentary. You nail it every time. Comedians are today's prophets (given they are listening to God; not assuming they all do).

  • @thatmarionchickonyoutube7545

    Thia is priceless, we are in NM and there are literally NO restaurants open and IF they are they have outdoor/indoor dining, what a laugh I had when you mentioned this first!! Thank you so much for this amazing, funny but yet serious video!

  • @wererabbit63
    @wererabbit63 Před 3 lety +3

    True story, Easter 2020, churches were closed in PA., but the golf courses were open.

  • @isaacmorehead3529
    @isaacmorehead3529 Před 3 lety +8

    I absolutely love the beard.

  • @sadtiger2022
    @sadtiger2022 Před 3 lety +1

    When I get takeout "my food is still touched by 97 people "!!! 😂😂🤮
    True!

  • @ashleyburnham6924
    @ashleyburnham6924 Před 3 lety +9

    If John was president everything would be solved

  • @runkytunkleshorts7996
    @runkytunkleshorts7996 Před 3 lety +11

    Yes! The one takes are back’! 😎

  • @HeritageWaysKatie
    @HeritageWaysKatie Před 3 lety +4

    Yes to the stupidity of curfews🥺🤦🏻‍♀️
    And yes to the drive thru ignorance!
    They take my card but cant hand me my fries!
    And what about “leave a tip to help provide contactless delivery”. They want more money to do less work.
    😬🤪
    And the two masks!! Why oh why?!? Like one mask is not useless enough. Lol

  • @labeaux
    @labeaux Před 3 lety +10

    And school districts are requiring that kids’ Valentine’s cards “quarantine” at school for DAYS before they’re passed out to their classmates! I just can’t anymore!!🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @kimberlyannchapman
      @kimberlyannchapman Před 3 lety +2

      As a teacher... this irks me. My job is so much worse now than ever because I cannot allow my fifth graders to be independent.

    • @whatdeyadoes
      @whatdeyadoes Před 3 lety

      Lol thats so cute 😂

  • @nicholasprieto482
    @nicholasprieto482 Před 3 lety +5

    The White Castle part hit deep

  • @mavsgurl061
    @mavsgurl061 Před 3 lety +4

    Come on down to Bubba's in Mesquite, Texas! We will sit inside and you can enjoy our high school scenery lol

  • @karenc2837
    @karenc2837 Před 3 lety +7

    Yup, I’ve been screaming in my heart. Also, I can so relate to the fast food one. Thank you, Taco Bell.

    • @gryphenicedancer8796
      @gryphenicedancer8796 Před 3 lety +1

      I know! How does sticking my bag closed make it safe? What, the germs won't get in the food while they use a box to pass it over?
      DUMBEST thing EVER!!!

  • @CarltonWhitfield
    @CarltonWhitfield Před 3 lety +1

    Appalachian State and you said it right. John Christ FTW!

  • @eileenmccarthy8507
    @eileenmccarthy8507 Před 3 lety +4

    I love this guy! Keeping it real!

  • @cdkhanger9
    @cdkhanger9 Před 3 lety +3

    Colorado youth hockey players can play the game as normal with checking but they can't go through the hand shake line at the end of the game ugh! They have to line up across from the other team and hit their sticks on the ice to say "good game" - brilliant thinking behind that haha!

  • @ivyosborn8645
    @ivyosborn8645 Před 3 lety +3

    Heyyyy I’m early!!! Can’t wait! Love you John you’re the best!🙃

  • @katetibbs7251
    @katetibbs7251 Před 3 lety +1

    Here in VA Walmart makes everyone enter and exit through the same side of the building. Instead of splitting people up, they put them all together.

  • @Hotrod.Richmond
    @Hotrod.Richmond Před 3 lety +4

    I screamed inside my heart during the last John Crist show I went to. 😁
    From your friend in the charlotte hospital.

  • @dustbuster9768
    @dustbuster9768 Před 3 lety +32

    "Here to unite everybody"...*shows thumbs ups from what, at a glance, appears to be all white men.* Lolz.

    • @JennaLeigh
      @JennaLeigh Před 3 lety +7

      I was gonna comment that someone would be offended by that, but you beat me to it...

    • @kkrushr5250
      @kkrushr5250 Před 3 lety +3

      I was going to say that! Just to be one of those people! 🤣😂

    • @JennaLeigh
      @JennaLeigh Před 3 lety +1

      @@kkrushr5250 lmao right??😂😂

  • @JustMeAllDayEveryday
    @JustMeAllDayEveryday Před 3 lety +7

    Bahahaha. I truly believe everybody feels this way - except those few that are hoping to gain power in politics - oh wait - it worked
    LOL

  • @ellynsoup4724
    @ellynsoup4724 Před 3 lety +67

    John, stop using so much logic. You know that kind of thinking isn't welcome in lockdown states!

    • @Rosie_C
      @Rosie_C Před 3 lety +3

      I heard a quote today: “...Reasonable, sane person... which comes in limited quantities these days.”

  • @aletheiawilson5327
    @aletheiawilson5327 Před 3 lety +4

    Thank you for you common sense!! I love how you make Covid look like a person!

  • @Tjolee108
    @Tjolee108 Před 3 lety +5

    Can't wait!!

  • @tacticalyeti007
    @tacticalyeti007 Před 3 lety +3

    "Please scream inside your hearts."

  • @ruthkinney8525
    @ruthkinney8525 Před 3 lety +2

    Thankyou, thankyou, Thank You! for putting the thoughts of my heart into words!

  • @geriweis-corbley7177
    @geriweis-corbley7177 Před 3 lety +1

    LOVED it! Nailed the take, and yur speaking for millions, John. xxoo