😱do you have a hyper-vigilant trauma personality? Tests✅
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- čas přidán 11. 05. 2024
- This video includes 2 assessments: the trauma personality from eggshell parents/partners and the hyper-vigilance test (and both are a course preview from my new course:)
Also, you can now preview 3 lessons for free on my course website:
1. hyper-vigilance & trauma personality assessments
2. what are eggshell relationships?
3. the trauma personality from eggshell parents & partners (the 5 core symptoms: panic: fight/flight, silence: freeze, guilt/shame, collapse/isolation, and pleasing/fawn)
FREE COURSE PREVIEWS: drkimsage.thinkific.com/enrol...
I am also working on creating a free weekly newsletter and will be sharing more info soon!
🌷NEW COURSE! "THE HYPER-VIGILANT TRAUMA PERSONALITY FROM EGGSHELL PARENTS AND PARTNERS" on thinkific.com: drkimsage.thinkific.com/
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I’ve commented on here before about growing up in a very abusive farming environment. I definitely suffer from being hyper vigilant as there was never a safe place of a safe zone away from ‘the Father’ and his constant violent behavior and outbursts. To this day, I still hear his work boots thundering about looking for me if I were hiding or just trying to stay out of his line of fire. Sleeping has been an issue with me since my teen years and I am definitely in my element in darkness and at nighttime. I feel a constant anxiety which lifts around 9:30-10:00 p.m and I stay up until around 3:00 a.m. I always hated mornings because the monotony of work and abuse would start all over again. It’s amazing to me how much life has been missed out on due to the craziness, callousness, and upheaval of trying to run a large cattle farm. Thanks again for these videos and I wish love and peace to anyone who reads this post. Blessings. Jeff
Oh man, I’m sorry. That thing about still hearing the workbooks. Ugh, keep going bro. Just keep going.
@@ajhproductions2347 Thank you, my friend! I appreciate you! Blessings, Jeff 🪷 🌏
Work: I feel incompetent and constantly afraid of being fired.
Romantic: I feel like I care too much and am going to just be let down.
Friends: *shrugs*
I find it hard to just "be" in any contact with others... Period.
I have very similar feelings. My therapist said it's social anxiety. I know it sounds kinda basic, but it helped me realizing that these thoughts/feelings were grounded in anxiety and not reality.
@@digglydog I appreciate that, but social anxiety is only a small piece of my puzzle. Best of luck to you!
Hear you!!! So much fake and throw away society! I get it!
@@digglydog it’s called being sick of fake people and keeping up with the Joneses. That’s a lot of the problem we live in a very sick society that has nothing to do with social anxiety.
@@digglydogthis is such a dismissive perspective. Probably a CBT evangelist too.
Ppl with CPTSD don't know what it's like to have balanced mind/life.
It's like blind person who never knows what it's like to see.
It's something I feel I will never know how a normal person feels like
Dude that was well put. Funny, I’ve used that analogy for other things, like making love, or a psychedelic experience. Something you could never truly convey to others who haven’t experienced it themselves, they’d just never actually understand. They’d know the words, and be able to give a general and rudimentary textbook description, still without actually knowing what it truly is. Like, how do you describe the color red to someone who’s never seen it? You just can’t, and I’ve noticed that with people I try to convey mental health things to, It’s like they’re oblivious and removed from it, so I just don’t discuss it anymore. Honestly, it gets frustrating feeling so misunderstood lol
There is a mantra within that I oftentimes catch myself repeating over and over when I find myself in emotionally stressful or draining situations: “I don’t care “. I traditionally freeze.
I’ve become a person who’s mantra is I really don’t care and then I smile because it’s so much easier to not be attached to the outcome. At 64 I have my own life and I can work on my life to the best of my ability but… I am one day going to breathe my last breath and that final breath and that is what I am not obsessing about but understanding that it’s closer now than 20 years ago 🤔
I described myself this way to my mum years ago, and I am still like it. Something unexpected happens on a show on t.v. and I jump; the doorbell goes at home, and I jump; my husband touches me on the shoulder from behind, and I jump... and so it goes on. It is horrible and must seem exaggerated to some, but it is very real to me.
Dude, same here! Idk wtf it is, but any time someone knocks on my front door, I’ll instantly go into flight mode. Intense fear, shaking, suddenly from 0 to 60 in an instant. Anything sudden, the dog barking at a cat outside…oh man, it takes me minutes to recover physically and mentally. Sometimes I have to go lay down. And I’ll especially get it when someone touches me. When my wife would touch me, I’d always jump. Repressed trauma for us I suppose?
My default is survival mode , Im hyper vigilant always scanning , thanks for these videos 🙏
Ugh, same here. It never stops. Can’t ever turn it off, it wouldn’t be safe to do so anyways. I just stay home these days to reduce the amount of stress and anxiety being in public causes me. Reduce the likelihood of something seriously bad going down. But Even at home, rarely eating much, always scanning if not with eyes, then with ears. A noise outside, and here comes the 9mm….dont get me started on certain smells…goddamn, it’s just so exhausting isn’t it?
I’m so tired bro. Living a normal life means going against my brains propensity every day. My body is so tired my heart is so tired and I have POTS. I’m autistic, adhd, CPTSD. I have never had a stable friend group and when I’m in love I’m so so anxious but I love so so hard. How I feel for those I love makes me want to cry. Everything feels sad. My grandma took her own life and it ruined my mum. She used to refuse me hugs and throw things at me when I was anxious as a kid bc she never knew love. My body is so tired bro. I always feel like someone is mad at me. My heart rhythm issues and palpitations are so scary. I never feel like my heart is beating normally even tho I was an athlete as a kid. It’s Trauma and sadness. My dad was never there. He was always dissociated. He never loved me. It was mum and work first. My friends would come over just to talk shit about my house and my family. My ex would laugh at me when I cried. I know that the vibration I am on attracts this and I just wish it could stop. For once I just want consistent and stable love and confidence and connection. I just want change I just want love. I’m so so tired and it’s all I want bro.
❤❤❤ I feel you..I don't have any answer. I just feel you
🫂
I get how you feel about being tired of the bs and fake crap and others not owning their stuff and throwing it all over our souls to where it practically destroys us! I want peace love and happiness! I sooo hear you and sending light and love! ❤️ good people are out there and that’s why I study healthy relationship with top experts so I get the best fit for life. One marriage almost destroyed me. No doubt I need to fix me but the way people can use others is sickening. I can’t isolate anymore. We were made for realionships. Wished we were not! I so get it
I’m sorry you had to grow up that way. Keep listening to Dr. Sage. She has helped me so much. I also had an eggshell parent who pretty much ruined me. I’m improving slowly but surely.
I have always felt weird because I relate in many ways but I am a guy.
I feel the same way about love, I also love super hard.
Merely the concept of confessing I liked a girl when I was young made me extremely anxious.
Sadly I have not found any girl that seems to be kind enough inside so that I can heal. You seem to be able to relate with that ex who just laughed at you when you cried. I would never ever do something like that. Average people are sadly too insensitive for me. I don’t feel secure around them and have to mask. There are some truly amazing people on this planet though. That keeps me holding on.
I have commented before on how valuable I find your channel. But there is a big problem that pyschologists refuse to address. Which is how do I manage the Collapse/Submit response?
As a badly abused person I struggle with this response and it has caused me serious problems in all areas of my life. Though there are many helpful channels on CZcams no pyschologist seems prepared to address this. If you have done so I apologise but I have not seen it and I have watched a considerabnle amount of your work. I hope you feel this question is worthy of a response.
Dr Kim , I'm so grateful for your channel , it literally keeps me sane since I can't get anywhere with my doctor's... I stopped all the medication they put me on age 14 for depression (I was not depressed) my daughter's are autistic Asperger's & ADHD and I know I am. .. it's just easier for me to be alone all the time now I'm done fighting with doctors it's exhausting & frustrating. 💚🧚🏼♂️
Love & blessings from Amanda in Blackpool England UK 🩷💎
I am in the UK too - sending you my love.x
For as far back as I can remember, my job was keeping my mom & sister alive. So I'm consumed with hyper vigilance.
Same here, always caring extremely for my mother and older sister: I am youngest of 4…so imagine the up side down family dynamics.
Now at 58 I found the first professional psychologist who is helping me.
It’s hard work for me, but I owe this healing to myself ❤
Wish all of you your path of healing too❤️🩹
I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK AT THE MATERIAL. YOU HAVE HELPED ME MANY TIMES. I JUST WANT TO SAY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! YOUR CHILDREN ARE SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE YOU AS THEIR MOTHER! GREAT MOTHER, GREAT WOMAN, GREAT THERAPIST! Not fawning! You live up to your name. Have a wonderful day and week!
My party girl mom left me abandoned in the crib for sometimes 8 hrs at a clip. (my dad would come back from work to find me unattended)
Hypervigilant is ingrained into my very soul!....and since it occurred during my formative years there is no psychotherapy that will fix or provide adaptive tools to compensate for that.
Wow. I completely get where you are coming from. You just opened my eyes as to why Therapy and Meds have done nothing to ease my daily pain. I pray God blesses you with joy and good things.
Wow really?! I don't think that's quite how that went
My mom died during Covid. Today is Mother's Day and it's a really hard one for me!
The strength of the love that you shared together sustains us some how, it bears the strength you need.
Same ...
I am so sorry. She is at peace, and she is with you wherever you go♥️
@@truthbetold6942 Thank you for those kind words!
You are a gift and look lovely!
Hi Kim. Thank you. I will share more soon. 😊 right now I just want to say how great I feel yet how absolutely enraged I feel about how misunderstood I still am in my family of birth. 3 siblings, 2 parents and how tucking absurd it is to still be so hyper vigilant, dealing with an emotionally sbusive and terrible husband. I know that I will figure this out. One more thing I will share soon. It sucks to have to look “ happy “ or “ normal” all the time just to avoid being scapegoated or “ put down”. ❤️, Noelle .
I’m a busy mom I wrote that last comment pretty fast, excuse any errors 😊
Whoa, that checklist at 4:49 was one of the most eye opening assessments I’ve ever read. I think I checked every single box. It’s embarrassing to be perfectly honest, but I’d say I’m among friends here.
You are talking about my life. I am glad I am not alone.
Absolutely nailed it. 😢 mothers day is roughhhhh today (usa)
Trauma therapy exposed all these debilitating beliefs into behaviors of self-hate. WOW!!! Victory from such is such a relief for a part of finally achieving a quality of life.
Happy Mothers day Dr Kim and Thank you 🥰
Yes, it led me to a nightmare. 🤢"I can absolutely prove that antisocial trauma spreads like a desease. One person does something to a healthy person, now the healthy person displays the behavior. Its like science. Put somebody through enouugh panic, enough pain emotionally, and watch them traffic in it years later. That whole THINK FAST, theres no time. Fast, hurry up, im in a panic. I had an egg shell parent who drank. Single mom, god bless her heart, she was a sweet person really, but that booze left ME at risk for some of that to hold on like a fish hook. A trauma personality possibly set her off years ago, i feel like she taught it to me. ☺️🙏💯
Happy mothers day 💓
Thank you again, another wonderful listen 💖
A couple times of year I drop down to a very relaxed state, and I become very aware of it. I think myself, oh wouldn't it be nice to be like this most of the time. The thing is people have absolutely no idea of this because of how good I have become in masking.
Sometimes i wonder if it's better to be an orphan and kicked out at 18 in the uk then you don't have to panda to anyone. But having the inner strength must be really hard at times knowing nobody is there for you and your on your own.
Dr Kim Sage
Hello once again.
Cool subject for me to tune into. Lake Tahoe is my next choice of treating my younger brother and sisters children for adventure and Cabin living with all the comforts life can offer. School is out for the summer and times to set foot in new paths
I was always trying to rescue Mum from dad as a child , teenager etc until in my late 30’s I realised she was never going to leave him and she didn’t. Also spent my childhood trying to protect my younger siblings from his rages. I’m 67 now and I’ve never got over it.
Off to the right place for me to encourage a dear Navajo friend living on the Rez,He lives alone with three pet's and all that Money could probably buy,but lives with no set golds or something like that. Issue I think he's going through is your subject of this matter.
Thank you 🙏
I was almost 100% on the list. I believe mother is/was BPD and father a Narcissist.
Happy mothers day divine wisdom supreme feminine body cradle of existence
Been there, done that; for my whole life 😢
Yesss I Do‼️‼️‼️ I Thought That Was Why I Was Diagnosed with CPTSD⁉️🤷🏽♀️
B"H
Happy mother's day. G-d bless you.
Saved for evidence
Hey Dr. Kim, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
What happens to that child that goes to comfort mommys tears and gets pushed away?
❤
Wow I have 12 out of 20 on the list. 60%. Ugh
Isn't polyvagal theory unsupported and rejected by the larger psychological/scientific community?
Comment for the algorithm
Can we get to the list?
Thank you, happy Mother’s Day 🤍
So grateful for your support