Philosophy For Breakups | STOICISM
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- čas přidán 17. 09. 2019
- Can philosophy help with a breakup? In this series, I'm going to explore valuable philosophical ideas for handling heartbreak.
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#stoicism #breakup #relationships
Check out Einzelgänger's book 'Stoicism for Inner Peace' here: einzelganger.co/innerpeace
Hey, could you create a playlist with your videos about break ups? I am pretty sure lots of people would appreciate that. :)
I really hope 🙏🏼
After the phase of pain, it will be calm again. Believe me.
I still think of my ex daily, four years after we broke up... despite having a new partner for three years...
Stoicism helps, as does 'the red pill'.
@@threethrushes Of course we remember them but the feelings aren't there anymore. I hope this is the case on your end.
@@ramirenriquez6795 The memory of having loved someone is there, and, as they say, 'tis better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.
@@threethrushes Exactly, we just need to also acknowledge that it ended because something wasn't fit and whether we know or we don't, we really got something out of it, the learning and better self-awareness which are really worth it. Glad that this is your case, cuz it's not fair for someone to be involved with someone who's thinking for someone else :-)
It took 2 years for me
It’s crazy how a person can switch up on you from one day to the other like you or your time together was nothing. You would’ve done anything for them but them leaving makes you realize it wasn’t the same for them. Shit hurts
i feel you
exactly what’s happening now. she just broke up w me 2 days ago and i can’t believe how much your perception can change in such small time
Doesn't mean it meant nothing to them the relationship wasn't working for them and that's okay it's a kindness to let you go. Would you rather them stay out of obligation than love?
Mariah McCaleb but i feel like a lot of the time it’s just a period and it doesn’t take a lot to get the spark or feeling of love again. A lot of the time it can be more strong of a feeling
No not a person only woman do it becsuse they find you boring and they cant obtain more from you
Let the tears flow, be human first.
It's been 4 days , I will let my tears flow
I have ALWAYS been under the impression that Stoicism required the removal of natural human emotions which has made me maintain a level of disinterest. Idk how these videos even popped up on my YT homepage, but they are great and have led me down a path of embracing new knowledge. That sentence kept my mind open; and now for the remaining journey ...
But being human in itself is a concept why not go beyond
But what happens after?
what if i physically can't cry?
After reading comments and other people mentioning "no contact" rule and how they're afraid they will not get back with ex. Remember: This rule is set to get yourself back to you, not to get the other person.
Поздрав за тебе, брате.
@@Povest1389 Поздрав 😀
What a meaningful comment. 👍🏻
Amen!!! 🙏🏻 🙌🏻 😌
Zoya194 I completely agree absolutely!! :) 😌☺️👍🏻
Yes. This is correct. Many people go into relationships to validate themselves. They think " look at me I am in a relationship so I must be a great person because another person loves me.". The minute u think u can obtain happiness from or thru another person. Be prepared to be disappointed. U must first find love for yourself. Love and light.
well said! I found this out the hard way. Somehow I always "knew" this but I now know you can only really learn it the hard way trough real live experience. Failure is the greatest teacher there is.
How do I do that
This is so true. I did it, and it was very damaging for me in that time
@@xdecker1179 you forgive yourself. U accept the things u feels are not so attractive about u. Eat good food. Bless your body with nice words....listen to happy music. Watch great movies hang out with people u like. Laugh, dance, be in nature etc. Do things u like....that make u feel good.
Ah, well in tha case RIP my chances of ever getting love. 5 years and counting of severe depression and selfhate
"... don't view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel." hit hard af
I love this!
@jay you mean it was her turn.
It did
She's not your girl, its just your turn.
Ali Rakka this hit some kind of way and I’m not sure how it made me feel
Perfect timing for me as well. Been in "no contact" for 5 months. She's probably not coming back, but I will emerge stronger than ever.
Sagan Worshipper you are stronger than many my brother. Keep rising!
Thank you my friend. I will.
I’ve been in no contact for 4 months. He’s moved on, it’s time I do the same. He is not coming back.. Even I know that would be a mistake. I’m not meant for love. 😔 It always ends in misery. My trauma forces the ones I love away.
Be strong Carol. Try watching videos by "Dating Guy" and Rory aka "The Love Chat". Best of luck to you. You will find someone even better because you deserve better!
@username is it "stoic" to tell you to go fuck a goat?
Stoicism is literally the art of vibing.
No, it's literally the art of having zero vibe.
No. What you're referring to is the art of just "being". Stoicism is the art art of ruling logic over emotion, being in control of ones self.
Completely wrong
@@tebhernandez Ok Tony
Art of giving zero ****s you mean.
Love is attachment, that attachment is oxytocin (love hormone), Love is desire, desire leads to suffering. Instead, seek calmness and peace. That is where you will find happiness.
This self tyranny and a denial of the will. Fortune favors the bold
JSheetz Artwork I don’t understand but I want to understand stoicism
Love is not attachment. Attachment stems from Ego. Love is free, unconditional, total acceptance, non judgement ect.. true love that is...
you sound like yoda talking about the light/dark sides of the force
if u want to know the complete version of what he says, just read Chapter 3 of Dr. M Scott Peck's book THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.
you'd feel like a real competent psychotherapist after and that u understand love in depth.
including the serotonin and dopamine part of falling in love that makes falling in love not love.
that love isn't parasitism "oh i love u, if u leave me i'd die" sort of stuff in his book.
still won't make u less forlorn though.
but at least u'd be smarter and sound wise after.
This could not have been released at a better time in my life
🙄 I can relate
Ditto
Good to hear
I agree
Same
Its been over half a year that I broke up with a girl whom I thought I would marry and have kids with etc. Since then I've lost 25 kgs, stopped smoking and I am in the best shape of my life. It was very hard to do and I've had a lot of grief but trust me on this one. Sh*t is an excellent fertilizer of something beautiful, like the pretty flower I am now lol
Hello dear
Love this
A beautiful flower? 👬Whatever floats yer boat I guess,..not me though, I likes the ladies!
Agreed
Am currently at this point seeing this comment gives me strength
"I didn't lose her - I returned her back" that viscerally and emotionally makes me feel better. Thanks
But that made me want to cry
She was never yours it was just your turn
Exactly. ...the more you stop hating more faster you recover
Breakups suck. I'm at a point in my life where I don't think I want to bother with intimate relationships anymore. I'd rather have some decent friends and live my life. Lol, nobody asked for all of that but hey, lol.
it hurts so much.
sorry for you too.
but i wish life will be kind to you.
and all of us heartbroken people in this thread.
Me too...i just dont wanna go thru..indifelity, doubt, sacrifice...heartbreak...its been a year and i still cry, ive lost so much time just wasting away in my bed...i dont wanna repeat this..
Starting to feel the same way but I don’t want to be celibate. So that makes it difficult to choose the path of being alone or just hanging out with friends.
I feel the same, i'm nearly 30 and i feel like i don't want to live another heartbreake....maybe later i Will need sex but nothing more
Unah Pita how are you feeling now? Your post was 5 months ago
Philosophers had no clue they’d be handing out life lessons centuries later
Millennia later
@@jakeboi987 Shit I opened the comment section as I was about to write the same. Who could have wondered that much of what the Ancient Greeks invented, thought, influenced, is so relevant today. It's so relevant, that much of what we see today is a copy of life of life 2500 years ago in Greece with the only thing that differs is the technology. The rest of our principles and our modern day life sterns from Ancient greece
I bet they did. Truth transcends time
And on you tube!!
@@desert4seat”What We Do In Life Echoes In Eternity” - Marcus Aurelius
Hit gym fellas because,
Muscles and heart grow only when broken and so does the person.
Good idea, that's why they say; breakup makes bodybuilders.
I agree. Turn the pain into fuel. Strengthen the body and the mind will follow.
Just a quick Reminder , Don't let the Rage and Anger be the Fuel for Your Workouts , this will depreciate you in the long run
IMO Do it for yourself and the future that yet is not revealed
FACTSSS
Well if the gyms were open where I live and able to find the time (working full time over 50 hours a week) then the gym would always be my first resort. But yes I agree for sure
Modern definition has become all about ego attachment and ownership. That's why it hurts so much, like we lose a bit of the self.
True love is unconditional. The more we have a personal sense of self, the less pain we experience.
Dude qheverywhere
Love was never unconditional
How can love be unconditional? If someone does not prove themselves worthy of your love (for instance they lied to you, treat you poorly, do not meet your standards etc) you should not still love them. Unconditional love in romantic relationships will turn you into a doormat really quickly, especially in the modern dating world, so full of narcissists.
Except Mom and Dad . No one is going to love you conditionally even they will stop if you break trust. Wake up from blue dream !!
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me great comment wow.
Breakups hurt because we prioritize good memories of the relationship above all, especially when these memories were idillic, authentic and bigger than anything at some point. When nostalgia hits, I try to defuse it by remembering the root cause that made me decide to break up. I also try to focus on the fact that the broken relationship was a temporary gift, an experience that at some point showed me the best side of life.
Weight lifting my dudes....trust me on that
It surely helps
Kick boxing for me 😁
Yup , also run , further , faster . It’s free and you benefit more than you can know .
swimmings good if ur not strong enough lol
Drink, drugs and self pity for me.
I was studying in university when my first gf left me. I forced myself to study and exercise but also I set aside time to feel the pain to the maximum and cry for an hour or so a day. It was brutal for the first 2 months But my mood lifted slowly but steadily. No contact then I called her 3 months later .8 months to heal
. I know I was healed when I deliberately recalled a good memory and felt nothing .
Nerd..
Fernandez Miguel a very rich semi retired nerd
@@ChillingatLP don't listen to me man
I'm going through a divorce
Fernandez Miguel no kids I hope
A little boy
1. we lack patience. In our age of instant gratification, we jump from milestone to milestone even without pausing & thinking whether what we are doing is even good for us. And we don't give ourselves time to reflect, or to heal.
2. We handle tremendous peer pressure. It seems everyone is having a better life than us, and we must conform to society's ideas of an ideal life, a stable place/position/partner.
I guess one needs a certain amount of self realisation and maturity to handle rejection by other humans. Of course it hurts, but it too shall pass, like the pain we suffered when we stumbled for the first time we learnt to walk.
this is a stoic comment.
so right.
you've got very deep and precise insights so right i agree with your vision
যখন হাঁটা শিখেছি তখন তো ম্যাচিওর ছিলাম না
I think the statement “I need this person to be happy” really states “This person meets my needs” and giving them up is painful, based on survival.
You cannot force another person to love you. Better find someone who loves you.
Happiness doesn’t come from love and relationships, it comes from garlic bread
YES! omg 😍
ICY RENAULTO agreed, you will be the the first I will contact for support 👌
It's true! I was the garlic bread
"then you'd get fat"
A0100 0001L Well then I’ll be fat and happy
Great video. Here's a little bit of my story.
I wasted almost 5 years of my life to get over a terrible breakup in the past. But for some reason, my friends always come to me when they had a breakup to just talk, asked for advice, etc.
In the end of our conversations, I always said: I know it's hard, but you'll get over it. You'll come to the realization that you can live without your ex. Sooner or later. The question is, how long do you want to get over it? I hope you won't spent 5 years to do that, like I did.
I hope I won't spend 5 years... That would be devastating and I feel devastated already
@@sterix_gg It won't if you don't let it. Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex and always keep busy so your mind doesn't wander off. Pick up a new hobby or join a club. In the end, it's gonna be okay, think of it as the experience was for you and not to you. To learn :)
good Lord, may it not take me 5 years.
3 months is excruciating already.
I'm now busy learning the Russian, Dutch, German, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean language all at the same time.
also guitar-ing almost daily.
just so I'd be busy.
improving my language gave me a bit of happiness though.
which surprised me.
Me2. 5 years haha . I didnt know why i wasnt over it but I came to realize I wasnt letting myself let it go, only after i realizef that such a huge ammount of time has passed and indidnt realize. Then it hit me im still sitting here and sad, and she doesnt even remember me 😒 Hahah i feel alot vetter now. I went and sought help, and with a bit of councling I feel alot better.
2 years on I haven't gotten over my ex gf. But she messaged me every 2-3 weeks that whole time as a "friend" even though she's living with her new man. I took it that she missed me... but after 2 years I finally realized she doesn't so now I don't respond anymore and sure enough... she doesn't message anymore. Now I'll finally move on.
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
- Marcus Aurelius.
Relationships, dating, marriage, divorce, break-ups, etc. All these things are ultimately external factors, since you can't control what the other person feels or wants, only your own part in them. You have to love & respect yourself first & foremost. Your source of true happiness or sorrow should not be determined by someone else, even if it's someone you love deeply. It has to come from within. Excellent video, I believe this will help many people who struggle with relationship or marriage issues!
Having a real problem with this one, I met a girl nearly 2 years ago, it was brief but intense, I felt like I was high on life the whole time, one day it all changed and her character changed also, I never got a true explanation as to how someone can change so quickly, I've removed anything which could remind me of her, I deleted all of my social media, stopped going to the places we used to visit together, I re-joined the gym, got back into my hobbies, tried socialising more, but nothing will stop me thinking about her, even when I've managed to make myself busy and I'm concentrating on something completely different, she will randomly pop into my head again, without any external factors, I wish I had the magic pen from Men in Black lol I wish I could just delete all my memories of her, Love is like a powerful drug, once your brain experiences it, it yearns for it.
Same here
This hit hard af
it takes time but eventually when she does pop up in your head, there will be no emptional reaction to go with it. will be just a passing thought then you move on.
Maybe she had borderline personality disorder(like me). Google about this type of people and their relationship dynamics. They usually have intense but short relationships, rocky, a rollercoaster of emotions, a lot of love bombing in the beginning and in an instant(for various reasons depending of the person) we split. Meaning we can devalue or idolize someone in a split second. Meaning we can erase someone from our life without emotion. It is a psychological disorder but we got unhealthy attachment styles and in the end our behaviour gets seen as ruthless and confusing. Not saying its okay but it may be an explanation to your question. Safe wishes
It is a powerful drug called oxytocin.
It's been 5 years since I talked to the love of my life. The worst part about a break-up, is that it's like mourning the death of somebody who is still alive. There's nothing more that I would rather do and talk to her. But all she asked me for was space.
You are better off without her
Please seek professional help, it's not healthy to be stuck in a breakup for so long.
Honestly I just got my heart destroyed yesterday. But the fact that 5 years later you’re still having this hard of a time is definitely concerning.
@RittenhousesRifle when you love someone you love some one. I belive in falling in love. If it's real, idk how you can fall out of it.
@@RittenhousesRifle if someone said "my wife died 10 years ago and I miss her everyday" would you feel the same?
When there's a break up, it means one of them or both of them need to grow up, mature, learn their life lessons.
Literally when you’re in love it’s a drug. It activates the same area as cocaine. When you break up you lose that drug
@@oldlarry9234 I did and now I havent slept for 5 days
Shit, im just prolonging then
@@50sfan14 maybe some CBD?
So true
@@50sfan14 like you I don’t sleep properly either it’s been 2 weeks
You need to feel it to heal it, you either stow or grow. This pain we are all facing in our lives is there for a reason. It’s not to punish you it’s there to show you what your missing out on. Break ups hurt like a bitch but I promise you, love is the way out. It’s unconditional love of oneself . Work on yourself. Continue to better yourself on a daily basis while accepting your flaws you cannot change. Each and everyone of you deserve happiness but that happiness comes from within. Once you find that unconditional love of self you’ll never be hurt again. Keep fighting the good fight and never stop loving.
The thing about time is that, while it'll heal all wounds, you have to remember, some wounds leave scars, some cripple you, some just heal without any side effects. What do I mean is, these experiences change you, as someone who had two traumatic breakups and now going through a rejection I can say with certainty you'll change, grow and learn.
If you want to be wiser, you need to get yourself hurt and allow yourself to heal properly, even if leaves scars and cripple you, just let it heal, and you'll see growth. A wise person is a wounded person.
People say "It is what it is" but I think that "It is what it will be".
Stay strong everybody and good luck.
you are very wise and level headed.
yes, i agree, some even cause irreversible damage.
but life is life.
we just gotta toughen up sometimes.
cheers to you.
at least u'r not like the MGTOW guys dehumanizing women.
scares me sometimes for the human race.
Talk about being wise when we're all just gonna die anyway.
This literally couldn't have come at a better time.
Hang in there brother, as the wisest people said "time heals all wounds" I wish you the best of luck
I have returned my wife....
to the streets.
Lol
That's where she belongs king.
HAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAGA
Best place for her bro 😂
To the skreets
I was psychologically prepared for the breakup. I worked to let go of any person or anything that may stop my journey to myself. The one that I Really need is myself. When she told she wanted to break up I said : ok. Take the decision that you want. I'm already prepared. Thanks to her I learnt alot and thanks to me I learnt to focus on me.
Hamid- That’s what I’m talking bout yo, you said it! No need for tears, now you have time to do and become everything you ever wanted, nothing holding you back now,..yeah baby yeah!
Currently going through a tough time with someone I've loved for over 3 years, never claimed ownership over them but seeing as my turn is over breaks my heart to no end...
I hope u r doinh fine 🖤
I just came to the same realization and it does hurt be strong and cry if you need to but never stop setting goals get another one that it is your turn with
It was her turn that ended :)
It’s been a while… I hope you’re doing better.
same
I’m in the process of breaking up, I used to feel sad now I feel numb and nothing. Stoic philosophy helps a lot, my gf/ex doesn’t know my situation... this video was perfect timing
Same bro. I used to cry like a bitch, but my last breakup, I felt nothing because the last many months I had been practicing Stoicism and it felt weird after breaking up and felt nearly zero sadness.
Awang Budiman nothing wrong with crying man sorry you are going through it
Same brother
To help you out bro I hope you see this comment look up a guy on CZcams named Matt Cross - Secrets 33 or Alpha Male Secrets he will teach you a lot about a thing called Red Pill 💊
- Good Luck my brother 🙂
Buick Life shut up incel
I am going through my 4th painful breakup. It hurts, the pain is inevitable, suffering is what you can avoid. Breakups are blessings in our life when we have opportunity to connect with ourself, find peace and happiness within our mind and soul and then open the door for another human to enter our life when you ready.
In retrospective, those hurtful nights and lonely walks are somehow the most beautiful moments. The breakup is not a joy, but let it help you to find serenity and love within yourself. ❤
I moved out today. She asked me to leave. It hurts. This video has helped me tremendously. I look forward to the second instalment. Thank you, Einzelgänger.
Wishing you peace ❤
“Understand that your time has a limit set to it. Use it, then to advance your enlightenment; or it will be gone, and never in your power again.”
Woawh dude, thats scary.
Same here, all of a sudden she wanted me to leave, blaming her own depression.. I know your pain.
For me, working out/lifting weights helped me get less "emotional" about it and I also got the motivation to work on my self and love my self, which in return will attract the right person.
I know this out of experience, believe me or not, I never went with a girl thinking im staying with here, and I had many of them until my last ex.
She learned me to love but also learned me to love my self first after the breakup.
Hope it helps:)
Just moved out yesterday, same story. Pain is unbearable. This stoic response talks about letting go but what if you do not want to?
@@damianlim3429 Remember today that you are not defined by your past mistakes, never be held back by your circumstances, you shall be defined by the choices you make now. The good you do today. Your past can no longer be used against you. You are no longer that person. You have grown. This test was sent to awaken you. You have been a great teacher . Teaching the people around you about forgiveness. The real question is " can I forgive myself enough to walk away.
I love the end quote “Let the tears flow, be human first” I needed this. Here’s to months of healing! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers! Have a blessed day! To anyone reading this currently experiencing heart ache… we got this 😊
we got this!! fighting!!
Is it easier now?
@@ardently750 I had to take a couple days to reply lol but honestly everyone has their own timeline of healing. I was in a 3yr relationship before the mutual break up. The first month was hard. Lots of anxiety and over analyzing past mistakes. My #1 rule for these moments is to get active. Workout, go out with friends, vent to people who truly care about you. Go and do those things you once loved to do. Pick up an old hobby or start a new one. I’m now two months out and I’ll say that I think of her less and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Once you’ve been through a couple breakups you’ll find out that the healing process is quite the same. In my experience at least. Learning to let go of what could have and what ifs are probably one of the hardest things to do but once you do. I find that you gain a sense of clarity. Amor Fati, life’s too short to dwell. You might miss out on something or someone more special than the last 😁
I broke up with my girl 3 days ago and today was the first time I let myself cry. I actually balled my eyes out and now I feel much better. I haven’t cried in a long time because I always need to be tough and strong but it totally changed how i am feeling now. Im tired of always being tough. Im just letting my feelings flow. I know i will be stronger after this ❤
@@whitewolf9547 You got this my guy. Keep busy, and surround yourself with people who love you.
Have been dealing with a breakup for a month, and just last night it was like a switch flipped and suddenly everything was ok, I felt this peace inside me and finally feels like I’ve let go. I tried to end things on a good note with my ex but that was only causing suffering, so instead I decided to let it all just die, and that’s what seems to have worked, I literally don’t feel anything towards the relationship anymore and it feels like it’s behind me now, stoic views really help with this, so to anyone going through a rough time; just hang on, you’ll be okay.
xeztan
Lucky you are over it. It’s 11 months for me still stuck depressed
It's a phase, it's not over yet. Most therapists agree that it takes 6-12 months to properly heal from a breakup.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to be honest because most likely there's still anger and sadness ahead of you.
@@cabrondemente1 this was over 3 years ago lol
@@xeztan so how long did it take? Was it really over after a month? Not judging just asking because I'm still dealing with my breakup 3 months later.
@@cabrondemente1I think it's different for everyone. It probably depends on how much did you get hurt, how much did you love her/him, how emotional or how mature you are, is it your first relationship...
Been dealing with some really rough times. This is a god send.
Thank you.
Likewise and agreed. Good luck my friend.
Glad to hear that. All the best!
Thank you for this video, friend. It's already been 2 months since my breakup with my ex and there are times that i still think about her, but I always remind myself to keep present and not cling to the past. Time does indeed heal wounds, but its how you apply yourself mentally and how you take care of yourself, then the wound of losing someone will begin to naturally heal. Self medicating ourselves with drugs, alcohol, rebounding with another person, and fast foods will do more harm then good, which will make the healing process much more difficult and prolonged.
Take the time to work on yourself and heal. If you really cared for this person, the best course of action is to heal and grow from the experience as i have. I wouldn't be looking up Stoicism, meditation, self love, etc if it weren't for the breakup. Look at the positives, which many people overlook, and become better so when you are ready for your next relationship the same mistakes will not happen again. Be strong friends!
went through a similar situation as you and did the same thing. trust and believe that with self care and self improvement in general; there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay digilent in your self mastery, relationships, money, and success will always be at the door waiting
Funny thing is i learned the greatness of stoicism and taking myself seriously from my last break with my ex gf. Its been 3 months and i am in the same situation as you
Search : Dan Bacon
Thanks
Thank you for this. Stoicism blended with Buddhism is the key I think. Applying their principles helped immensely after my breakup. Wallowing in pain and victimization helps no one. Thank you for the quotes.
Stoicism and Taoism for me all day long...
Feel it. Acknowledge it. Heal it. Be grateful for the experience.
“Understand that your time has a limit set to it. Use it, then to advance your enlightenment; or it will be gone, and never in your power again.” Marcus Aureluis
Relationships exist because they have some purpose for the parties involved. When that purpose ends the relationship ends. Simples.
No you just use people. It does not make it ok.
@@MrMakingwavesmedia thats every single relation in general. Relationships/friendships/ even when it comes to family, it's all the same dude.
Every single person needs a reason to want to hang around with you.
Why do you think people become friends? Because they have similar interests, they make each other feel good, that they're the only people l who seem to "get" you. If they never did any of those things you wouldn't be friends with them.
Everyone uses everyone for some reason no matter how big or small it is.
Selfish? Yes, because we are selfish creatures. Is that wrong? Depends on perspective and context 🤔
@@Yusa_Beach nah, I would be friends with someone even if I didn't have anything in common with them.
I guess you're right in terms of relationships that it is selfish and transactional. but true love is not selfish and transactional. So even if your relationship ends, if you truly love the person, your love should not go away - you'd wish them happiness.
@jyk1218 This was a year ago so mindset change, I wouldn't change much of anything previously that I said other than it being selfish.
Because the word selfish entirely depends on conscious intention.
And what is usually considered over the line to taking care of yourself and simply looking out for yourself without any consideration of others,....so yeah.
I wouldn't call it selfish if two parties were simply transactioning something.
Anywho I'd somewhat agree to your comment if the person was Compassionate and selfless, however it still doesn't change much, because you wouldn't be able to connect in a way that would make a friendship blossom if you couldn't seem to have something in common that you both liked or liked currently within that moment.
You'd have to find something you both like or both of you decide to make something that you both like. (Usually the former than the latter)
I think of all the breakup videos I have seen, this one helped me the most, thank you Einzelgänger
Oh wow, that's a great compliment. Thank you :)
Utaragi couldn’t have put it better myself
My 4 year relationship, my fiancé, left me a month ago. I feel so empty. I watch these videos and they help, but man does your mind get to you in times of quiet. I'm honestly miserable. Here's to brighter days.
This video has helped me alot, my girlfriend dumped me 2 days ago and the last two days have been the worst days of my life, the night that it happened, I even called my mom (which I almost never do) and told her everything while I was bawling my eyes out. The thing that hurts the most is that the breakup was so unexpected, she was at a football game with her friends and, out of nowhere, told me that she was done with me. I loved her more than anything and I thought she was the same way, we had promised that we would be together forever. It might be a little cringy, but we thought about our future together, what we would name our kids, where we would move to, what jobs we would have, when we would get married, etc.
I just hope I will get over it quickly
update?
@@summerscents8284 sorry for your heartbreak. You should do a search about narcissists and other cluster b personality disorders. Look for doctor ramani channel. Hope this helps. God bless you and you deserve better than that.
@@williamnakagawa Thank you so much for taking the time to send your words of encouragement; and also for the info you shared. So appreciate it.
how are you feeling now bro?
There were no signs?
"She was never yours, it was just your turn." - Epictetus
Basically a Whor*?
Talking to someone who just doesn't see you in that light anymore is wild .
For anyone out there going that is going through a breakup or facing hard times in your relationship , here is my story. I've been together with a girl for almost 1 year and 3 months and from the start to now I have been always second guessing myself and believing that it's my fault the relationship isn't working but it wasn't anything close to that. She just wasn't on the same level I was and I kept blaming myself for her problems. Right now I don't even know if we're together or separated because we still talk daily. In short know your value and make sure the people you associate yourself with value your worth. Stoicism is helping and I'm sure it will continue to help you also. Be strong because we were not born to be ordinary and simple men. They do not deserve us that is why we must let them go.
- Raees DeNiro.
How are you doing?
Hey guys how's it going!!!
We broke up 5 years back and I still find my self gravitated towards her. It's messed up.
@@monroelee8090 I know someone who can help him regain your love. He helped me bring back my ex> after he left. WhatsApp him +121~38739~698...
Oh please, like there are no other wonderful ladies out there, unbelievable!
WHERE TF WAS THIS WHEN I BROKE UP WITH THE DEEPEST MOST TOXIC CONNECTION OF MY LIFE. Also he was my first bf so like that was heavy and I was a noob
Username wish I heard of it then lmao
same shit happened to me, most painful experience of my life. 8/10 would do again
are you pro now? 😅😛
Joanna Julep When student is ready master appears.. maybe you wasn't ready at that time to digest this knowledge..think like that..
@@mattheus951 I know someone who can help him regain your love. He helped me bring back my ex> after he left. WhatsApp him +121~38739~698...,,,
breakups is the most painful thing men can feel
And women don't? Ignorant
Yeah, absolutely right about the “other fish in the sea“ line. Because it’s basically saying “there’s always someone else I can be attached to!“. We need to realize that the only people we need to really be attached to his ourselves. We only need ourselves for our own happiness, and then we want other people after that only to enhance that happiness that’s already there. That’s after we have found our happiness. But we don’t need anybody else.
I'd like to offer my 2 cents on the despair occurring from the one that got away -
The despair we experience when someone we deeply cherished (were attached to) is no longer in our lives is the same despair one experiences at the death of a loved one.
This grief is so madening, the pain so acute that it truly resembles a kind of mourning of the passing away of someone..as they aren't returning to our lives ever again. Yet it is different in that this person indeed does continue to exist, only in the life of another (new partner).
What I'm arriving at, in essence, is that the mourning of the death of someone you loved so dearly is by no means avoidable. We will unfortunately have to pass through the various stages of grief.
However, while the pain is unavoidable, suffering occurs purely in the mind, ie we can consciously take measures to reduce suffering.
In summary, sit through the grief, mourn the loss of the true love - despair of separation, try to gradually reduce the mental suffering we experience, until you reach a point where there is no belongingness or identification with this person and hence there only remains good wishes and pure feelings for them, no matter where they are, who they are with.
You can apply rational thought all the live long day, but there's usually a war between emotional brain and rational brain, and the fact is that no amount of rational thought will spare you from the pain. You say let the tears flow, because you know that no matter how you rationalize it, it still hurts.
Alucard Peach, you are right
Right😢
“It is a universal law - have no illusion - that every creature alive is attached to nothing so much as to its own self - interest.”
- Epictetus
The whole feeling entitled to that person really resonates with me. How we subconsciously take ownership of someone thinking its mean to stay forever. People change, feelings change. That's the gamble you take in love, in this time and age where temptation is so easy to act upon many just keep chasing what's next and better to supply their needs. Theres little effort put when the honeymoon phase wears off.
For a while i gave up on relationships as they bring so much pain when they end but let's face it, romantic companionship and intimacy does us good from time to time. The hard work is mentally being prepared to let it go when it runs its course and not allow your ego to make you look desperate or unbalanced and take it as a personal attack to our self worth.
I've started to adopt this philosophy and its a lot more peaceful to not get blinded by attachment. Takes ongoing effort but absolutely necessary.
For me a breakup was the best thing to happen to me. It was more a like a breakthrough for me opening up my eyes to the fact that I wasn't being true to myself and many other lessons. It just goes to show whatever happens to you in life, even if it's the worst thing you can make it work for you and make you better
How are the things now?
@@siddhantramteke3834 thanks so much for asking. That's really nice of you 😊 Things are really great actually. I'm working in a profession that I adore. I choose to have people around me that love me and support me. I'm finally standing up for myself. It's funny. When you start expecting the best it just comes to you. I hope everything is going well with you too. Best wishes to you ❤
@@shwetanavani480 very very glad to hear this 😇😇. Its been one week i broke up. i slowly started to accept the fact that she wont come back . kinda felt sad and depressing. i don't know i just cant see any hope of things getting better for me right now. only thing i regret is about my efforts. lifetime nightmare for me.
@@siddhantramteke3834 I'm so sorry to hear that. In the beginning it does feel like that but I promise that it does get better. Start doing things that you like to do. Eat well, get regular exercise, sleep. It's sounds simple but these things do really help. Once you focus on you your heart starts feeling lighter. I wish you all the best in the world. Take things slow and be kind to yourself. You got this ❤
Any update?@@siddhantramteke3834
Looking back I realise the ones I managed to have a happy, healthy relationship with were people with a happy,positive mindset. It's actually that's simple.
Those who were overly anxious , feeling lack stayed miserable anyway . You can't make someone else happy. Make yourself content and happy and then go find someone who's already content and happy in life.
The hardest break up is the one that neither person wants but needs to happen. I will always love her. But being comfortable without her is something that needs to happen. We may meet again but it will never be expected.
My wife died 6 years ago and I haven't felt inner peace ever since. I don't feel any rage anymore but I feel out of place all the time and what the video says about the substances being alcohol or anything else is quite true. It may easily become too much of a refuge and after that becoming a jail. I have reduced the amount of alcohol now but the first 4 years were too much untill I landed on the hospital because of my health condition. The kidneys complained first.
Loosing someone being to death or overall is really sad because nowadays it is really difficult to find someone you can truly connect with and connects with you the same way back. Everything is so ephemerous.
Take a lot of vitamina C no joke
I revisit this post again after a year post breakup. And now i am doing fine. All stated here is definitely true. Thanks to philosophy, stoicism and buddhism -- now i am back and better than previous me. Hope it can help others ❤️❤️❤️
Guys the painful phase WILL PASS trust , you will feel peace and whole again . But some of us (including me) need to stop believing that moving on will pass quickly, it won’t it depends on how big the bond was and how long . If you’ve been in a relationship for more then two years during those years you are bounding yourself to that person , so don’t expect to be healed in two weeks trust it will all end just be patient with yourself and let yourself feel.
I understood the first point “i need that person to be happy” as in not needing the person but needing to see them being happy. Made no sense for a second
Weeks, months or even years, but everyone you loved becomes a cherished memory that you can revisit time and time again. It is not the end of the world, regardless of how horrible it feels now.
Thank you so much for approaching this subject I’m going through a very horrible breakup and your videos are making me feel so much better! ♥️
What’s helping me , every time I think of the person I was with. I think most of the reasons I left him. It gets easier eventually one day.
Been watching these videos to cope with my split. Helping me tremendously.
If only after 5.years I could say goodbye and cry! Broken ❤
I found travelling to new city fir 2-3 weeks is best ideas and live in hotel with shared bed. It worked for me. I feel better and healed now 😊
My dad is going through a break up right now and I’ve essentially been his therapist through it all so more knowledge on how to deal with it helps alot
there's absolutely no doubt in my mind anymore, this channel's officially my favorite. nowhere else did I feel more empowered than after watching einzelgänger's content😊
Superb. I used this approach during a recent breakup and it has been a heart saver.
I think ive been lying to myself about needing that person to be happy, and im gonna work on it
That’s true I know of a spells caster that can help you if you wanna get reach to the great spells caster magic man text him on WhatsApp +234 810 010 8101 he will help you
Coming fresh off a breakup with my love of 10 years, this is amazing to listen to. Thank you so much. Will have to dig deeper into stoicism. It all really rings true.
I found this channel yesterday and it is already helping me a lot. Thanks for this man!
Don't look for happiness anywhere, it's closer than you imagine.
I got into boxing. Was the best decision ever. Channeling all the fustration and grief every training session at the boxing club - Now i have a new craft and obsession. And i feel good about myself
Things don't fall apart so much as they fall into place, even when you cant see it in the middle of the heartache.
Perfect timing. Thank YOU for the upload.
Get rid of all physical manifestations of your relationship! Letters, pictures, clothes etc. We attach memories to these things unfortunately.
i got a whole house lmao
Why would I do that ? They're beautiful memories and looking at these psychical manifestations shouldn't be painful, it will be for a bit but once you let go, it's beautiful to look back on. A relationship isn't something to be taken so lightly. It is a part of who you were, a part of who you are now. I'd say getting rid of things would certainly help some. But in years to come, if it really was a beautiful relationship, cleaning out that drawer in your house filled with nonsense then suddenly stumbling upon an old letter. It could be a lovely moment, that you wouldn't have if you got rid of everything and just threw it in the trash
*"She was never truly yours, it was just your turn"*
Exactly! As the barber says,..’ NEXT’.
Your videos are great. Stoicism saved me. I was going thru a break up and u helped so much. Thank you.
The end was liberating, thank you!
I've been avoiding watching this. My significant and I are on a "no contact break" (his wish). I'm coming to terms with accepting this fate and finding peace and love within myself instead of searching for it from a partner. If we never speak again or he decides he no longer wants us to be together I will return him with grace.
You kept your promise. Now I need to keep mine.
I believe it. Time will weaken the pain. However I do need to take the bandage off at one point and look at, treat it, heal it properly. Time will not heal my wounds. I’m simply locking them up in a misery box. It’s still there and will be unlocked every once in a while even if I try to avoid it. All the current and future events are keys to unlock that box and stir up my pain from the past. In order to heal it completely, I need to get professional help or proper treatment when I’m finally ready for them to open the box and handle my wounds. Only then, I can destroy them completely instead of just avoiding them.
Having gone through a divorce this year, this video has helped me realize some more stoicism in life will help me recover. Thank you for your efforts in this and other videos. Your efforts bring more joy into the world.
Einzelgänger: *Talking about breakups*
Me: "I wonder with which philosophical view point will he touch this subject."
Einzelgänger: "stoicism"
Me: "Oh yes, yes of course..."
This man has a soothing voice!
Happy I found this video. Einzelganger is really changing lives
First of all, I LOVE your channel.
This was *great* stuff! Please keep them coming. Thank you and blessings from Jamaica 🇯🇲🙏🏽.
me and my girlfriend just broke up. glad to see this
I miss my family terribly. The pain is great. Stoicism and meditation are my cure. Everyday is a struggle.
I pray it gets easier for you soon
This was really nice, your last point was especially on point and something I've gone through more consciously in past break-ups. Great job!
I absolutely adore this channel!! Thank you so much for what you do. I hadn't heard about stoicism before coming across this channel but it sounds like something that's right up my alley
Maya- How is your ‘alley’ hmmm?