Stoicism's Simple Secret To Being Happier | Ryan Holiday | Daily Stoic
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- čas přidán 6. 11. 2019
- Stoicism is a practical philosophy and one of the fundamental tenets is that if you want to be happy, you have to flip the script. You can't try to meet your desires, instead, you should limit them.
To learn more about Stoicism, check out the Daily Stoic's FREE GUIDE to Stoic philosophy: dailystoic.com/freeguide
In this video, Ryan Holiday discusses the most important insight into happiness from the writings of Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics. Marcus Aurelius was student of the philosophy of Stoicism. In his journal, now known at Meditations, Marcus Aurelius has many key insights on how to live a happy life.
Daily Stoic is a community built around the teachings of Stoicism. If you're wondering "What does Stoicism mean?", "Who was Marcus Aurelius?", "How to be a stoic?" or "How to practice stoicism in daily life?" check out the other videos on this channel or the Daily Stoic on other platforms!
Stoicism is a practical philosophy. The main thinkers that the Daily Stoic focuses on in stoicism are Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. The Daily Stoic is a guide to how to practice Stoicism in your daily life, the daily routines of Stoicism, and is a practical guide to Stoicism. This channel is Stoicism 101, it will tell you what Stoicism is and how to be a Stoic. Ryan Holiday has been practicing stoicism and writing about stoicism for more than a decade and his insights will give you guidance to practicing stoicism in your day to day life.
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Ryan Holiday has influenced the modern stoicism movement greatly. His books are read by modern Stoicism's practitioners like Tim Ferriss, Robert Greene, and others.
#Stoicism #DailyStoic #RyanHoliday #MementoMori #AmorFati #MarcusAurelius #StoicDaily #DailyRoutine #Improvement #Happiness #philosophy #Seneca
What do you need to want less to be happier?
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A farm
The need to be liked.
@@simplykristin03🤔 °
we humans~
are 'social' creatures~
contact~
and acceptance~
trigger bio~ chemical~
pleasure responses~
within us all~
amor fati~
My friend~ °
Unusually complex phrasing of question~
I need to see~
Less of such~ ... 🤨 °
And more~
Stoic simplicity~
..... 🌿 °
@@simplykristin03 Yes, this is underrated. Just don;t fall into the trap of being an a-hole (guilty).
Through my twenties I dreamt of, and worked towards, being a director of a major organisation. I got there in my thirties. I was over the moon.
3 months later I realised it was a job, a title, and I was working ridiculous hours, stressed out. Be careful of what you wish for.
I walked out aged 46.
I went pretty much off grid in a farmhouse in France. Now I have less....but so much more. I see the seasons, I rest, exercise, study, have pastimes. I have TIME.
Thank you for sharing.
Wow thanks mate for sharing.
Thanks for sharing with us mate.
@@jbjoys My pleasure. Sometimes you just have to step off that hamster wheel. 😁
czcams.com/video/e9dZQelULDk/video.html
Same here. Plus it's lonely at the top. Good for you. A farmhouse in France, how marvelous!!
I have holes in my hiking shoes but instead of wanting new ones they remind me of the great places I've been 💛
I have holes in my underwear... oh wait, nevermind...................
When will you buy new one?
@@asil9935 When I find the next particular pair I find that I like and adventure to set out upon. I wear Brooks shoes which are well made and cost a lot as a result you can't find them everywhere. I'd rather wait and buy ones I like and wear my old ones than buy some that only give me temporary satisfaction just to appear happy with brand new shoes. I'm rich in this way of my life I only have things of great value and the things I have are classic pieces, not trendy so they last and are fashionable many, many years later.
@@mojorising1 ok ma'am, thank you. Thats very good and intimate answer 🙂👍
@@mojorising1 I have a hiking website, brand new, I wanna inspire and help people with their journey, I have some reviews on hiking shoes hikingshoesandboots.com if you wanna check it out and help a fellow hiker ❤️🙏
I was lucky enough to grow up with a man that was dying of cancer. He survived 15 years when he was only given 6 months to a year.
He taught me humility, kindness, forgiveness, mental fortitude, and many more beautiful life lessons. He died when I was 17 and I'm now 33, but the wisdom that he bestowed upon me, still resonates in everything I do in life.
I don't have money, I don't have a great career, I dont have a big house or nice car, but what I do have, is happiness, a job that I love, very little anxieties or fears, a beautiful garden, a connection to the universe, my music, art, writing, no addictions, a beautiful son and wife, and I travel as much as possible.
I've always felt happy because of his lessons. I never realized how grateful of him I was, until I reconnected with his son, many years later.
His son lives in a canvas tent in the woods and is completely self sufficient. He's happier than most people I know.
Thanks Blain.
This was very touching to read, thanks for sharing and best of luck with everything in your life 🍀
Same best of life to you!!
I totally get this. I held my son as he passed from cancer and it was the most tragic event of my life (of course) but also the greatest gift. And I am grateful to have been able to share that journey with him and blessed for insights & changes. Would I choose that experience? To have that happen to my son? Of course not! But I treasure what he taught me & how that time with him enriched my being.
I like what you have said.i lost my favorite person in the world.the only one I cared for that much.so I've been repairing the damages I have so I can at least live a little easier.
That is absolutely beautiful! Thanks Blain. And thank you for sharing!
Stoicism philosophy is saving my soul.
I find a lot of similarities between stoicism and buddhism - gratitude, focus on the present moment, non-attachment - to the outcome and things out with our control. It really is powerful stuff.
Much of Stoicism is based on Buddhist ideas and philosophy.
I also find a lot of similarities to the teachings and life of Jesus and the early church.
@@chrismoon7758 Yeah, because buddhists really dominated the religious and philosophical scene in Athens 300 b.c. where stoicism first came into being, right?
Arthur Underwood
Jesus actually practiced tons of stoic practices
Utilized the Socratic method copious amounts
Taught similarly to Buddhists lifestyle choices
He is the ultimate teacher, role model.
The pinnacle of all time.
Closer to home, Christianity is full of stoicism.
Fasting. Solitude. Stoicism. Humor. HIIT. These hobbies have transcended my life by leaps and bounds and made me massively valuable.
Happiness is wanting what you have. Moments of clarity surprise us, the fog clears and a gift of joyful gratitude appears.
I have to say, Stoicism keeps me sane. ❤️🙏
Me too ❤
How's the journey a year later?
@@autofrost3255 It's been quite a ride. You stumble and get lost, but there's always that tic that reminds me of why stoicism is here on the 1st place. How is it for you?
@Maer Ree It's been great for me, I hope it gets better for those having a hard time.
@@autofrost3255 amen to that. And I hope they find the essence of Stoicism, to make things better.
I do not wish to be happy all of the time. Being happy all the time could be as much of a neurological burnout as being sad all of the time.
Let my baseline be contentment. When something joyful comes along let me experience happiness to the fullest and return to my steady state of contentment. If something tragic, let me grieve for experiencing these and other emotions in balance with reason are what being human is all about.
Stoicism is changing me daily. It’s actually really interesting to see
Something you said in here that struck me. You said you want to love the process. Kobe Bryant said in an interview that if you love the process then you'll find real success.
Everytime I feel in mental panic I go to the daily stoic it always help align my mind I love these conversations
"Very little is needed to have a happy life"
One thing brings happiness to over flowing fulfillment. That is the one and only true God, as seen in Christ Jesus of Nazareth. Amen
Friends and food
I need to watch more. I’m going through a career change and vanlife at the same time, I feel I need this.
That was just what I needed to hear today. I'm working on getting rid of stuff-- bad relationships, desiring material things, clutter, poor eating, drinking, controlling business outcomes, and worry. Now I'm thinking of value-- personal relationships, helping others, kindness, music, and dedication to my field, and giving quietly without expecting. Then I can be my own best friend. The question I ask is, what can I do, not what can I have? Doing is much better than having, and to a large degree, so is wanting.
Kevin Pease Tennis Professional What can I do vs what can I have? I like that.
I feel sure we are allowed to share in the bounty of Creation, it is simply a case of allowing the greater power to decide our needs, rather than insisting we know what we need, and desiring them in our constant daily thoughts. Thus, we need to enter a place of stillness, by which we can connect with the many wells of silence and wisdom in the beyond, that hear our needs even on the smallest levels, and convey their answers to us through our intuition, visions and dreams. Then, we begin to learn the most important law in the universe, the art of receiving, which is deeply embedded in the great law of balance!!!
And it is also totally embedded in the law that thy can only reap what thy has sown. Thus, we must first give, but as you rightly said, selflessly, and unexpectantly!!!
This has given me a lot to think about. Stoic thought is changing the way I view life. Thank you Ryan for your insightful videos.
Thank you for watching!
The stoics influenced Christianity. Zeno and other stoics were popular with the Romans. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism#:~:text=Stoicism%20is%20a%20school%20of,views%20on%20the%20natural%20world.
Currently reading meditations and listening to these videos on my daily commute to the gym. Stoicism is really changing how I think about things in my life. It has made me more available for thoes who matter and think less about things that don't. Much appriacted Ryan for the helpful content
Very well put. I feel the same
Buddhism is a lot about being in the present moment by focusing on our breath.
I sometimes wonder how much of phylosophy comes from Buddhist ideas because the Silk rout passed through Buddhist India and through Greece.
The Dichotomy of control to me is simple yet powerful.Had a practical experience last night.Came home really exhausted from work and all i needed was a sound rest only to be met with loud cries of my little daughter after all attempts by her mum to stop her even by breastfeeding did not work.lying on the bed with my eyes closed trying all i could to fall asleep in the midst of all the unbearable noise from my little daughter.I nearly shouted on her but imediately the phrase the "dichotomy of control" occured to me(in my head) and i became conscious of the fact that,shouting on her would rather worsen the situation but instead,i could put on my cloth and patiently leave the room for some minutes and come after the mum has suceeded.I swear did not regret after i did that.I love Stoicism.I am getting practical finally.
Raymond Tendau,Ghana West Africa.🇬🇭
You could contribute, rather than leave it up to her mother. Like it or not, parenthood is 24/7. You work all day and when you come home, you're still a father and there is still more work to do. Her mother worked all day taking care of her, did you ever think she might need a break?
I’m grateful we have you, brother
I am only beginning to study Stoicism by following this channel. I already have an tremendous feeling of peace washing over me; a peaceful satisfaction. Thank you.
Same here :) Good luck with this journey
I started w/ the daily email...so impactful🖤
The more you focus on present the faster your life goes by.
Thank you for reminding us of the real values in life.
I grew up in a very strict household with controlling parents that lecture me everyday and dictated my future. I broke free from them at 19 and move out on my own. It was a growing experience for all of us. I’ve always been a free spirit since then. I love my parents, they are my rock and my home. ❤️ my life advice to all is that there’s is beauty in everything and everyone, never stop seeing it. Also money is a means of exchange, don’t just collected, exchange it. Also, ask for help, it opens many beautiful doors and will fill your life with more joy and beauty! Always be honest even if it makes you “look bad”. 🤗 always be respectful and compassionate. And lastly, nothing is of real value anyways. 🌈
My take: Success is a matter of perspective. While someone may accomplish more than you, there are a thousand or a million others who are envious of what you already accomplished.
YUP !
KER~ BILLIONS !!! ~ °
That concept of never enough is the greatest hindrance to true gratefulness and a sense of contentment.
Got to be grateful for what you already have
Good stuff Maynard!! :) Zeno, in developing the philosophy of Stoicism, was able to work out a practical means to circumvent the default involuntary stimulus-reaction thought system that is the body's mind. Nowadays also commonly referred to as being the "ego." The ego's domain is past thought and/or future thought. It cannot exist in the present moment. Stoicism is a system of thought that is under the individual's control and when practiced, allows the individual to be in the present moment without an obligation to judge. In other words, practicing stoicism provides the individual an efficacious means to wall off the ego. The function of the ego is analogous to a tennis ball machine with an endless supply of tennis balls. The machine is stuck on automatic and it is incessantly firing one tennis ball after another out into the thought space of the past or the thought space known as the future. The ego's "tennis balls" are thoughts in the form of clusters of mental image pictures. The ego requires that everything be judged either more or less and to do this requires comparisons be made to thoughts and experiences in the past so what might happen in the future can be imagined. Unfortunately, individuals will consider the ego's thoughts as being their own and doing so leads to the invention of a false self that is the person they believe they are. Practicing stoicism gives the individual a way to block the constant chatter noise of the ego and discover their own thoughts and actual self in the present moment. The ego's motto is "you are lacking" and this makes for a world where "almost" and "if only..." are standard fare. The ego's idol is MORE. For one to obtain happiness in the ego thought system, one must perpetually seek for MORE.
Stoicism while being a viable means to wall off the ego, cannot unplug the ego. To unplug the ego one must go to metaphysics. When it comes to metaphysics there are myriad paths that appear in perception in just as many forms, but the content beyond the form; i.e., symbols, words, practices, rituals, etc., is the same from one path to the next. All the paths will eventually arrive at the same destination; the eradication of the ego and the individual remembering what and who they really are. The difference between one path and another (other than the form it seems to appear in) is it's length in time from point A to point B. And when it comes to time, there is never not enough time to make the journey from point A to point B regardless how circuitous and lengthy a path might be.
The purpose of time is to be the space wherein the journey seems to happen.
If you don't know where to start with metaphysics, I suggest exploring Aaron Abke's channel. He talks about several different paths and he has a way of presenting these concepts that are completely antipathetic to the ego thought system in a way they can be received and understood. IMO, Stoicism and metaphysics make for an unbeatable duo!
Who is happy? I think happiness is internal. I want to improve myself by not worrying about things. I am a worrier and always have been. Being worried less is my goal.
Agree. Very little is needed to be happy. Go within!
Finding this channel is the best that happened to me for this Summer. I am a super fan of Batman and knowing that stoicism ideology inspired the fictional character, inspired me more to be involved in this philosophy. Amazing channel! 💪🔥
So happy you made this channel. Thanks Ryan
So much of our society says “you’re not enough/this is not enough.” On Tv, we watch famous, beautiful, rich people. In our professions, there’s always someone better than us/higher up. Always another ring to reach for. So easy to focus on that vs this life, right now is enough.
I really needed this today.. woke up feeling suffocated and I feel more relieved now. Thank you
Choose to be happy today, do not put it off until tomorrow ❤️💕❤️💕
I have a phone, hand lotion, and a box of tissues. I have everything I need to make myself happy. I am also at work. Thank you Mr. Holiday for teaching me that Marcus Aurelius wants me to be happy at work.
Polishing a stone until it is a mirror. Striving. Good luck with that.
I enjoy the conversation. Thanks
I'm 48. Have adhd and everything that comes with it. For me it's been drug addiction, depression, insomnia, anxiety etc etc. But I've been trying to get this stoicism in my life and it certainly doesn't make things worse. No it seems to help me at least a little bit so far. This overthinking and anxiety is one thing that it seems to help me with
Stoicism eliminates the desire for drugs and alcohol for sure.
@@jahrasta4907 yup it's easier to... Manage my desires😊 peace and love my friend
Thich Nhat Hanh would love this.
I can't thank you enough Ryan!
Being grateful for the process; being grateful to be alive; and being grateful that the Creator has allowed me another day to practice being sincere, honest, and calm are the things that make me happy, not keeping “score” of my oft misguided notions of what/where my life should be. As Bill Walsh said, “focus on the processes and systems, and the score takes care of itself”.
Loving the posts Ryan. 🤘
Stay in the moment and practice gratitude on what you have, not what you do not have.
Yess! I feel happy today! Thanks so much 🙏 💓 Ryan Holiday! I've come to realized I don't need much to be happyy...and the one thing I don't have, that I want, I'm willing to make the effort to do something about it!
Seth Godin
Said something that stuck with me on this very topic.
Paraphrasing Godin: I’ve published many books. Some on The NY Times Best Sellers list, yet the vast majority of Americans have never heard of me. Why is that? Because I have a target audience. I’m writing for a specific audience and THEY are the ones who support me financially.
Godin isn’t concerned nor does he care if everybody is buying his books. He’s successful and enjoys it. He’s not trying top his previous published book by writing something even better.
Not downgrading high placed goals or success…it’s about enjoying it when you get it and have it. Then move onto the next thing.
Hi Ryan, thank you so much for sharing all the good things about making the life and the world a better place to live together. That's a great contribution to humanity for helping to share great and effective thoughts of great human beings.
There's one thing I wish you could do is to include a transcript for all your videos for a slower and better absorption of what you have says in the video. Thank you once again for your great job.
Thank you, love this! ☀️
I love this channel. Awesome Quote to start the day
One of the best channels on YT, Mr. Holliday's profound undertstanding of Stoicism is remarkable. This has helped me im many ways unimaginable, thank you so much ❤🙏🏼
Thanks Ryan for this timely video
"happiness I cannot feel,
And love to me is so unreal."-Paranoid, Black Sabbath.
Thank you for your insightful thoughts. As I watch your videos I am asking why does it have to be either/or decision? You can be happy and drive for more at the same time, striving to be the best you can be and not better than someone else, right? Setting personal goals rather than competing with someone else is the way to be happier
Excellent video. Thank you so much for this upload.
I first heard of you on Arthur Brooks podcast The Art of Happiness, and that ep alone gave me so many "a-hah" moments that I listened to the ep twice. After that ep I dove into your podcast, your YT, and I purchased Meditations right away. I'm currently reading Meditations, and The Bhagavad Gita but once I'm done with those your books are next, and I'm so excited. Thank you for what you do, and for changing my life.
I would not imagine anything like stoicism,,,, It's lovely explanation ,I love so much
Thank you Ryan Holiday, these videos are very helpful. Keep it up you rock
I relate to this so much. I’m constantly waiting for my next big career breakthrough and never enjoy the amazing milestones I’ve already accomplished. Loved this video. I’m Going to listen to it on loop!
Just found you and beginning to really like your channel...it is such a simple yet massively powerful concept to live in the present moment and accept everything as if you had chosen it... Eckhart Tolle's whole message is also to live in the now and stop seeing the present moment as an obstacle to get past in order to get to something better...so powerful 🔥
Such great principles to live a meaningful life
BADASS. My fav vid so far dude.
Stoic AF.
Thanks Ryan.
When I can I'll buy a coin. I just wanted to say I want lots of money to bring happiness to others and in turn I receive my happiness through them.
Very helpful reminder. Thanks!
Its not everything....but having everyone you need around you that makes you happy.your family and friends make you happy, not the SUV in a foreign land where you have No-One.
A brilliant video with a truly subversive message. Well worth considering. Thank you, Ryan!
This is such an important episode.
❤Be grateful, Be present, This is enough, Realize my happiness is now in the present. Celebrate.
❤Keep you hungry+ Gratitude.
Follow in love with the proxess
The notion that I have enough
Thoroughly enjoyed this! 😊
For sure!
Thanks for the reminder
Awesome content! Thanks so much for your hard work. Subscribed.
In times like these it is important to be strong physically, mentally, and spiritually. Jah bless
love this!
Love how the stoic philosophy kinda aligns with teachings of Christianity- living with gratitude and taking life one day at a time. Powerful truths. Only God is in control and truly sovereign.
Wonderful words of wisdom
Maybe the friendly correspondence between the Apostle Paul and Seneca was authentic? Paul preached a number of these concepts as standards of Christian conduct.
Thank You
So wise!
Great. B Happy in the present moment.
Desire is the springboard of ACTION.....God speaks to man through the language of desire.Faith is attained through understanding.
This is a great video Ryan
I really like your thinking.
Ryan is my favorite writer. Thank you so much!
Why don't you read the actual stoic philosophers instead of taking his word for it? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism#:~:text=Stoicism%20is%20a%20school%20of,views%20on%20the%20natural%20world.
Ryan is cashing in on ancient Greek philosophy that is already freely available.
Ryan Holiday is an American marketer as it says on his wiki page.
I love you man
Good one!
I completely agree with Ryans take that misery is a result of wants and needs and that the ultimate freedom is to never have a want and a need. However, that is easier said than done. We all have to do something with our lives, mainly work - which is like 90% of our lives. And since we are all forced to work, we can at least make the best possible career choice for ourselves. And the higher pay that career choice gives you, the more freedom you will be able to obtain in the end.
love your job~
Never~
Have to~
Work~
A DAY~ in your LIFE~
agree completely
Thanks alot
Thank you
Awesome!
At 10:10 I can sum up that thought. It’s wanting the endless circles to end. I am an addict (sober 11years) and the endless circles were exhausting. You get somewhere and it’s a place Know one understands sucks sometimes. Joe Rogan is in that boat with countless others. You don’t want to destroy yourself to hurt others, you want to destroy what created you.
Happiness is what. I create for myself ... Goodluck all
Amen!!! 💕
Great video. I think it’s okay to have an insatiable desire for success but keep yourself detached from the results of your work. Like you said, fall in love with the process. 🙌🏽
I also watched your video on anger...and in one of ur videos, you mention how you journal...I haven't journal's for years! But today, I wrote my anger down on paper..and wrote out my thoughts and feelings...I'm at peace e nowM (for the moment lol) thanks so much Ryan Holiday! 🙏
Awesome
There seems to be a strong parallel with Stoicism and the older source of Buddhism that you see in The Dhammapada. Both speak of the double-edge quality of craving, and what's sometimes referred to as 'aversion to what is, and wanting something else.' Of course, aversion can lead to positive change, but it can also become a trap, a never-satisfied craving for more and more and still more. I find the Stoics to have a lot to say to our modern acquisitive society based on supposedly unlimited growth Capitalism. Nice video. Thanks.
I have read few books on these matters, but always seek to listen within, and it is from this wellspring I have received some wisdom. From my experiences with my fellow men, I deem few people know what they oft desire, and despite frequent, benevolent gestures and rhetoric, few impress me as sincere and pure. It is this latter quality that I am convinced is the catapault for a good life, by becoming an empty vessel and developing in the truest spiritual sense, and fulfilling our tasks, and by so doing we can ascend to eternal life in Paradise, which is our soul/sole goal, and which can only be attained by selfless service to the whole. Thus, we must become free from the many earthly desires, then we are able to absorb and permit 'in' the many helps from Above for our guidance and inspiration, that can direct our actions to the Creator and the greater good, if we learn to pray and live aright, for the one main law I have found in Creation is that of desire, which when we act upon it brings or sets forth the law of karma and returns, so you reap what you sow. And so it is only by giving in its truest sense, that we then truly begin to receive, and this giving needs to continue endlessly, even unto eternal life in Paradise, as we reap the blessings of the Almighty Father, especially through a boundless feeling of gratitude, even joyous exultation, for the gift and breath of life bestowed upon us. This can be despite the most grievous suffering upon the earth, which currently always greets such genuine spiritual desires for freedom and sacrifice with boundless hate, due to envy, for darkness in the masses cannot bear true freedom, which is in part the ability to free oneself from the many propensities (you called them cravings) that most people cling to, even if they are unawares, and which lead to the unhappiness spoke of in the video. Indeed, everything around us will then attempt to lead us away from this path of truth and eventual happiness, which requires the most unrelenting, pure, earnest nature, and so in my experience it is not easy to be truly free, but being determinedly true to truth certainly helps, though it must be applied in all situations, when others are not watching, and even unto death. Distinguishing authentic feelings and needs from inauthentic cravings is a great help too, which is where a few books helped me, namely transactional analysis, and a few counselling and 'child within' psychotherapeutic books. One day it may become easier, when all men's karma has been extinguished, which is now being forced upon mankind, so that men may awaken from their spirtual slimber. Sadly, I have had visions of what this entails in the near future, and it will be a truly testing time for all, before this karma is cleared, for we have all reincarnated many times, without taking the right actions. Then, the world can become a place of truth, clarity and happiness, and the need for copious books will be no more, for the answers to our purpose have always existed within our heart of hearts, which connects us to our spiritual home, that knows only virtues and truth! Blessed Be!!!
Very interesting Ryan. Acceptance of things you can't control is, like you say, crucial to happiness. 😊 But I also think self improvement, and desiring a better future, is not wrong. That seems to be something that is within our control, to some extent.
Great sentiments to start the day=]
Nice work.
Ryan your books are ahead of the world, ahead of time. They will be more popular as people get smarter and wake up.
Buuuuut~ ....
We~
Are ALL~
GONNA DIE ~
tomorrow ~
Toooo~ late~
@@lovealways2609 "knowing you will die, time is limited: the best currency you'll ever have" I think that was steve jobs:)
@@makaylahollywood3677 🤔
Thank you~
Very smart~
.... 🌿
This is the philosophy of is the glass half full or half empty, those who see the world as a glass half full will be content with what they have while the person that only sees the glass half full will forever chase after what they do not have
Be grateful for having a glass.
The more I'm *listening* this Stoic-guy the more I *see* his attractiveness . . .
He looks more beautiful...
He exercises, he thinks, aaaaaah, I'm gonna train my eyes to find this traits in people ...