One for the haters
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- čas přidán 23. 04. 2024
- I imagine most folks who take the time to read these notes know that this "channel" is just a personal journal of almost every session I have had since I got back into music-making during the pandemic. It's just a hobby-- I'm not a musician. My goal is to find something of value in every session, no matter how flawed.
I am primarily interested in process-- and if something interesting results, that's a nice bonus. In the past year I've been spending almost all my time learning to code tools for making music. It's rewarding but means I have even less time to make music and what humble skills I have suffer for lack of practice.
It feels like my goals are not really aligned with those of CZcams as a platform. I'm not interested subscriber counts, monetization, or spending my time photoshopping myself making Kevin McCallister faces on video thumbnails. My videos are rarely anything that could be considered a performance, unless you consider the musical equivalent of an approaching-middle-aged guy playing with model trains in his garage to be a performance. I'm not knocking any of that type of content, by the way. It's valuable to a lot of folks and takes a tremendous amount of effort to pull off. On second thought, no, I am knocking the Kevin McCallister faces.
It's irritating when the CZcams algo decides to blast one of my videos out to the masses and I get mean-spirited comments from people who apparently don't understand that they have the option of just clicking the "dislike" button and moving on with their lives. They remind me of the people who feel obligated to answer every Amazon product Q&A with "I DON'T KNOW I BOUGHT THIS FOR MY GRANDSON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY HE IS 10". I would like to assure those folks that I have a realistic view of my musical abilities and am acutely aware of how much I've spent on synthesizers over the years. But they don't strike me as the type of folks to read ponderous video description essays.
Anyway. I've been thinking of a channel rebrand. Or debrand, if that's a thing. Some way of deterring clicks. I have some ideas and you might see the channel name change in the future. Just a heads-up and explanation if that happens.
OK, on the usual stuff: this was a completely cursed and maddening session but I like the video for reasons I'll explain.
I woke up after getting a full night's sleep for the first time in ages and treated myself to a little sound-design session before breakfast. Hit the "generate chords" function on Dreamsequence to get something to work with and started patching.
I recalled seeing an update for the Just Friends nota bene voice (nb_jf) that allows configuring voice allocation on Norns rather than leaving it up to the module. This meant I could play a chord using voices 1-4 and use voice 5 for improvising a bit on Grid. I took the individual notes on JF outs 1-4 and sent them to a sequential switch that was being cycled by Marbles. This resulted in random notes from the chord being sent to Cornflakes and Rings for some accompanying grains and resonation.
All of this took about 15 minutes and I had the start of something really cool sounding, but then everything went off the rails.
I got sidetracked with various issues (I think the "balance" CV input on my Belgrad module works in reverse for some reason??) and before long I had used up all my patch cables and the entire thing was out of control. I started yanking out patch cables trying to get back to a stable state but it was hopeless. It was already lunchtime and I was way over my time budget.
Then I just sort of threw my hands up, cursed under my breath (which my camera mic hilariously picked up), and hit the record button. n.b. turns out this may be a great way to subvert the YT algo: www.theverge.com/2023/3/7/236...
What follows is an epic, low key, battle of man (in bathrobe) vs. machine.
It's a rough take, even by my own low standards. The patch was not ready. I wasn't ready. The camera wasn't ready. I didn't even flip on my token end-of-chain reverb until halfway through the recording which is a crime against Ambient. There are squeals and annoying ringing notes desperately call for EQing. I never even got around to working on the composition.
But, y'all, I've gone back to watch this a few times and I don't think I've ever captured my personal struggle with process so perfectly. It took me about 5 minutes to wrangle something out of this that could match what I hear in my head-- and the exact moment it all came together, I simply hit Stop and sat back in my chair in a state of complete catharsis.
I know it's frustrating to some folks that I don't post finished songs, but recordings like this are infinitely more interesting and satisfying for me to make. It's an honest and flawed account of how I make music. Take it or leave it. - Hudba
Beautiful piece. It really brought me peace. Greetings form the Netherlands
I enjoyed the text and the music a lot. The most important thing - is to create and to do what you enjoy doing.
Glorious patch. Thank you for sharing! 🙏✨
Oh, I take it. I read all the description. And I am glad that you are sharing your musical ideas and processes here. CZcams's algorithm doesn't often find the right audience for such content, but the few to whom the content matters count.
Beautiful jam, by the way.
I hit the 5000 word limit with that screed LOL. Appreciate your dedication 🫡
Well, we went from "broadcast yourself" to clickbait, algorithms and viral videos (and now AI generated content). I prefer the honest peek into a real, human process. Something I can relate to....something that makes me feel. Something that inspires me to try again. Cheers
Well said, I agree 👍
Dude! This is Amazing and Wonderful! Let the haters hate, as they don't know what they're talking about. I feel that most people who have to go out of their way to try to shit all over someone else's work, are usually projecting instead of worrying about what makes them content. I know it's hard to ignore them, but don't let them bring you down. I Admin many Groups on different Social Media platforms, and it seems that in every one of them, no matter the content or topic, you get people that are ready to lash out at others over everything. Keep doing what makes you happy, and let the haters hate. You've got a ton of fans on here and elsewhere! I'm certainly one of them and your videos are helping to motivate me to get into Modular! Keep up the outstanding work!
Thanks a lot buddy- really cool of you to make time to say this. Hope you keep going, too!
@@ModularBeat You're very welcome! I'm coming back into making tunes after a very long time. I'm a Retired Army Veteran and noodling around with music does wonders for my PTSD and other issues. I played Guitar for years but feel that Ambient or Electronica (my favorite type of music) is more expressive, or that I express myself better that way. Thanks for the kind words!
@@TangoDelta70 We got a lot in common then- I started back w/ music a few years ago after a decade+ long break. Having more fun with eurorack than I ever did as a guitar player, that’s for sure. Looks like you already have some rad gear that would play well with modular so I bet you could start small and take your time. You can do a lot with a few good modules- easy to get carried away tho 😬
Nice.
Never mind that end of chain reverb, dry is pretty.
Whether for yourself or this journal, never stop making.
I struggle with this issue all the time except I rarely even make it to the point where the session ends up on CZcams.
We’re missing a category of social media that just says: “I’m here, working.” That is just focussed on process. Thanks for setting an example and putting your process out there.
Maybe OnlyFans has a synth scene?!
Love it, thanks for sharing
I don't know. I thought that was pretty good. I was too busy reading the description at the beginning to notice any issues, but then again I'm just another guy with a modular and one who hasn't posted anything to youtube in years. I can totally relate to negative comments taking up all of your mental and emotional space though. It reminds me of that scene in the terrible Streetfighter movie where the villain says that they day he destroyed a village was the most important day in the other character's life but for him it was just a Tuesday. People don't think when they post mean comments. For them it's just a Tuesday but for you your village just got destroyed. Anyway I hope you have a great day!
Figures that General M. Bison would be behind those mean comments.
@@ModularBeat 😂
I can relate to everything you said. It is the same when you share modular firmware for the community. There will always be these guys that manage to complain about free stuff online. Instead of viewing the things we share as a contribution to their knowledge, they feel entitled to your work and how you do it. My advice is to not cave in. You don’t have to change your focus just because of some trolls that don’t have any purpose in life other than to comment about free stuff online. Just ignore the mean comments, you know those people are in a bad place. Good work and please keep sharing, there are people that appreciate it.
Absolutely outrageous that anyone would give you a hard time for *free alternative* firmware! I guess it just goes to show that it's not really personal and some people will never be happy. Thanks for your comment and for your contributions to the community!
I subscribed a few months back before I ended up buying and building my own 7U 84 HP. You inspired that. I always was curious of modular but most people always had these frankly bad bleepy blippy nonharmonic tracks. It was hard to rationalize investing in because I couldn’t see it used how I wanted to use it. Then I heard your stuff and was like “these are the sounds I’ve been wanting in my music but couldn’t crack the code.” Anyway, I hope to start a channel myself soon, and join you in this journey of sharing pretty sounds, hopefully connecting with other likeminded people. Fuck the haters. The joy of sharing is to find your crowd. Miserable POS’s are an inevitability in that search.
I remember us chatting about this- nice to hear you’re feeling inspired to start your own thing! You’ll know your channel has made it when you get your first mean commenter 😎
Lovely! Also, fuck the haters. It's all projection and transference, usually a way to put others down instead of working on themselves. Much easier to do. But I feel ya. Just keep doing what you're doing! Fully supportive!
TYSM. I suppose the mean comments say more about them than me.
@@ModularBeat Absolutely! Focus on you and what sparks joy for you! Keep at it, I love your videos and your scripts!
Do NOT vandalize your channel to "debrand" it. Keep it as is, just ignore the basement dwellers. This is your space, people who follow you usually get the Norns context.
I got my share of mean comments, too. I usually screenshot them, share with friends, but I also remove them from the video. This is my channel, not some free speech hydepark.
Cheers!
That seems like a healthy response. You're right, I shouldn't vandalize anything. I AM considering a name change though as Modular Beat sounds like a KPOP band name. I'll share the name I'm considering on Discord if I get serious about it!
I've really thought about whether to delete those comments or not but I figure the damage has already been done the moment I read 'em. They certainly don't deserve to be preserved, but maybe it'll help someone else to see those comments here and know that it's just an unfortunate fact of putting oneself out there.
Funny enough, I usually respond to the mean commenters and find that they tend to back off or delete their comments when they process that there is a person on the other end. It kind of reminds me of when I'm on my bike and get chased by a bloodthirsty dog that trots off with a bemused look when told to "go home!"
I think those kind of people must have pretty bleak lives and I sincerely hope they get better.
p.s. just watched the Avril 14th cover on your channel and it's so good.
I hear you, and am going through the same battles, most important, do what you like….go your own way stay true to yourself….subbed
Love this, thanks for sharing. I could listen to this on a loop for hours. ❤❤❤
Lovely jam, cool tone and movement
Your struggle came through! Its a lovely piece that captured a moment in time. Im glad you shared it with us.
Every time i try and make music,its a struggle with the gear, a struggle with myself, my self doubt, my lack of available time, my inability to capture even a tiny fragmebt if what im feeling and trying to share.
You caught a piece of your own battle here. Be proud of it. It's awesome.
Well you just expressed everything I wanted to say in one profound sentence. Bravo and keep fighting.
Love the patch, love the layers. I especially loved the long-winded explanation - it speaks to a few of my insecurities with my own modular journey.
But dude...how COULD you?!?!? No master reverb until halfway?!?!? Criminal.😂
Ever forward. ✌
Thanks my friend. I also just noticed I forgot the Ambient Houseplant 🫣
@@ModularBeat shocking!!!! 😆
Me gusta lo que haces, keep doing it!
Gracias mi amigo-- tu tambien!
Such a beautiful sounding patch! I have had a few moments with my rack where there was just this connection and i could sculpt whatever i heard in my head. Racks can be very unique and take years to get to a point where that connection happens more frequently. I disregarded advice on what i should buy to make tracks. I could care less about albums. I spend allot of time with the synth community on Twitch. There are around 100 or so eurorack streamers. No hate there. Sadly all of my hate came from people i know in real life. I struggled with homelessness and alcoholism for a few years. Then in 2019 i cleaned up and started consulting again. I landed a nice contract right before covid... perfect time to drop allot of money on eurorack. A good friend of mine of 20 years just started hating. It got so bad i had to block him. lol. I am not about to take any lip from a 40 year old unemployed moms basement producer. No grid no clocks no quantize. just modulation and forcing myself to dial everything in perfectly. It's been highly theraputic for myself and those observing. I look forward to more patches.
This whole story rules- thank you for sharing it. Really sounds like you have got it figured out. It’s irritating when some rando is a jerk but I would be devastated if someone I knew IRL brought the hate like that. Good on you for overcoming that and your other struggles (it never really ends IME but you know what I mean).
What’s the scene like on Twitch? Do people stream their sessions from the moment they start patching or is it more like they come with a performance in mind?
I completely get that idea of sharing work to just share it and not monetize/algorithm it. CZcams is an extension of anonymity and therefore people feel inclined to be piss baby dorks. It’s the same way in any specialty hobby with people gatekeeping and adding their two cents because they feel like they can. Save that energy dealing with those people and put it into making (even if it’s bad!) Mistakes can turn into magic. Looking back on them and seeing growth and change helps.
Keep it up dude.
LOL at P.B.D… and you’re so right about mistakes turning into magic. That’s the main appeal of the modular synth for me. I’m constantly plugging stuff in wrong or forgetting how things work and it leads to some real 💡moments in later sessions.
@@ModularBeat agreed. I don’t have a musical background and always liked the idea of everything always being a blank slate. Some periods I feel like I’m firing on all cylinders, and sometimes I feel like I can’t even look at my case because I made one goofy patch or botched a cool track.
The lows are low but the highs are exceptional!
This is really really nice - don't worry what others think - embrace your process
You're a wonderful writer, and, if I may, maybe a little too hard on yourself :)
I miss seeing pictures of your bikes on Instagram but I do like this a little bit more than that (actually I fuckin love this shit Dan!)
You did this to me! FR though, I can only have one full-time-non-paying-social-media-job at a time.
You're doing well. And we're here with you. And fuck 'em.
So pretty :)❤
Allow me to respond to you with a few lines, because in part I have felt myself reflected. I've been following you for some time now, and I think I've written to you a few times... but just in case, I'll take advantage of this video to summarise it.
What I liked most about your publications is that you always show the risk, the effort to do something new, the effort to not try to imitate anyone and make a video with fireworks and artifices but as fake as a wooden coin. The key is not what others think you are or do... but what you know you are doing, or can do... if someone else appreciates it, great, but the important thing is always the path and not the end. But of course, that can only be done by those who really have something to say on the way, those who open up by exposing an unfinished patch, or a risky experimental proposal, or something that was born from them and not from copying another video... for example... you.
The problem is that internet is a place where many people project what they would like to be and not what they are in their real life, they can "sell" phrases and words, copied from someone or taken from a chatgpt with the obsession of having likes or followers to think that makes them better ...although they are still the same grey people in the real world (but that is another story that would give for many lines).... You're definitely not there dude!!!!
I will continue to enjoy your videos, your risks, your efforts for a new patch... and for sure I will continue to learn from them. 🙏🙌
This is a beautiful perspective and really made me tear up. Thank you for your continued support and kindness. I almost wrote in my “essay” that I would keep making these videos even if no one watched or commented… but now I’m not so sure about that. Reading your comment reminds me just how meaningful it can be to receive some positivity and encouragement ❤️
Brilliant work.❤❤❤❤
That was amazing.
This is beautiful, all of it.
Rip haters
This sounds great, but who's Kevin McAllister? I've resisted the temptation to make really spammy clickbait thumbs so far. It's annoying so I'm totally with you on that one...but...I reserve the right to do it one day, just for a laugh! Fortunately I don't get enough views to get any hate, so it hasn't been a problem. The only negative comments I got came through suspiciously quickly, which made me think it was some sort of bot. If it were a real person watching a few seconds of each video and bothering to write a negative comment that's really their problem not mine. 😉
Kevin McAllister is a seminal character in early Xennial lore, known for the postmodern reinterpretation of Edvard Munch's 1893 masterpiece, "The Scream". You know... the kid from Home Alone!
@@ModularBeat ha, got it. Cheers!
becoming a hater just so I can claim this one for me 🤪
😘
Haha i've been there before twice. CZcams algo is sad. Once in a life time it pops up the views for whatever reason and showing it to wrong audiences. Also can't find a right one for a lot of people. You know, so called recommendations and main YT page is basically a bunch of random videos thrown together to imitate the activity. YT seem to stop caring at all.
Also "I'm not interested in spending my time photoshopping myself making Kevin McCallister faces on video thumbnails" was golden. So tired of these.
It seems entirely possible that there is some modular synth fan working at CZcams who is like “This is a good patch idea- I’m gonna put it in the feed of everyone who has watched Blinding Lights by The Weeknd”.
@@ModularBeat hahaha, good one!
Fail harder.
Hahah there's always next time 😉
I read it all.. it was *_delicious_* ...not your tears, oh nonono ..the victory that I could _HEAR_ in this. I think ambient *needs* this rawness like you captured, 'cause there was so much 'human' in it that I almost forgot you accomplished this in Eurorack. You've got some really, _realllly_ nice top-end hanging all over those chord progressions, and there's literally the perfect amount of subtle crunchiness to it. Getting mad seems to really get your gear to straighten-up, or scares your patch cables into submission. this really worked, and I don't generally like ambient. I think the algorithm's gonna recommend me to you even if you do a channel demake💖✨
You know what... you're so right. Bring on the haters! Haters are just gonna make me rage on the synth 😎. Really glad you liked it and thanks for the support.
@@ModularBeat absolutely❣