All five are about controlling your ability to internalize negative feelings and emotions about your self. If you do this all of the mention will appear. Ask yourself few key questions: why you are looking at other people as an escape from reality, why you do excessive people pleasing - well, isn't it obvious that there's some kind of a negative persuasion about your own self that is making you do that, that is making you feel that your value is compromised and because of that you should looking for some kind of escape for example by putting other people before you. You cannot be valued as equal if you constantly putting yourself down.
Yes! I am the shepherd! Worked many years for a company that just used me until I completely burned out The work environment was very toxic. When I left they hired three people to try and replace me. If you don't look out for yourself no one else will.
As an INFJ and being in my 45th year of life I dont think i i can handle working for other people anymore. Im just so tired of the myriad of m0r0ns at work. We INFJs tend to strive for excellence and there always seems to be a boss that's above me that's a tool. The lying, the cheating, the insecure people, it just drives ne nuts. The only time im ever feeling good and at peace is when im by myself.
Same, I'm forced to look for a new job because I quit my last one for these very reasons and I'm worried I won't find anything because I can't deal with the same BS anymore. And I have zero ideas for what else to do jobwise.
5 SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY INFJ (RAREST PERSONALITY TYPE) 1:06 SIGN #1 You're looking for an escape in others 3:08 SIGN #2 You're overly focused on helping others 6:27 SIGN #3 You're disconnected from reality 9:06 SIGN #4 You feel stuck in life 11:14 SIGN #5 You feel misunderstood and disconnected
I felt the same way as you did when you discovered being an INFJ. It's exactly how I felt. I thought something was wrong with me, that no one else thinks the way I do. It felt lonely. Then I started studying this and I feel more fulfilled knowing that there are more people like me. It helped my mental health greatly. I'm not alone 😊
Just about a year ago... I experienced all 5 of those signs. Today I don’t, and your channel is a big part of my success. Words cannot thank you enough Wenzes to help me get out from the darkness.
Wenzes, youve helped me at 47yrs old to finally understand who i am. I discovered i was an INFJ a few months ago and was initially put off watchinv youtube clips because i struggled with how they explain things. I came across your page a week ago and have watched clips every day . I started uni this year to study my first love, miaic . Im taking the steps to focus on myself and with your clips and advice its a game changer .. you are amazing i am so grateful .. thank you so so much
I definitely feel misunderstood and disconnected. I've felt that way the majority of my life, as though I was born in the wrong era. I used to think it was just something that would get better once I became an adult, but realized I still felt this way into my twenties and thirties. I feel like I'm the only one in my generation who gets excited when I hear oldies music on the radio or on those infomercials on tv when they advertise that old '50s and '60s music.
~ “forward motion in life!” Are you feeling stuck in your life? I was, for months, because I was not doing things that are, or sound, FUN. Going on a vacation that required a lot of physical activity catapulted me out of my mental & physical hermit loop. Been back home for 2 weeks and am now in a rope & rock climbing course, lifting weights (my 62 y.o. arms look like they did 10 years ago, no longer have to wear sleeves to cover my upper arms. And, I’m not stopping there: I’ve also signed up for kayak fishing. I feel ALIVE and STRONG again!
Can you do a video on INFJ and chronic illness, if u wanna get more specific... Chronic illness that results in chronic depression who are also not willing to take medication anymore cuz we don't want 17 side effects and feel like a zombie or feel like we're living in a glass box. Thanks chick
I keep watching these videos trying to find what's wrong with me. I recently found out I'm an INFJ - originally thought I was autistic. I got excited to find my characteristics are INFJ and i related so much. So I joined a couple groups of INFJ on fb and im finding I don't fit in well there either. They all seem either depressed, angry, non are outspoken, non will speak out about being devalued (he devalued women)by a person in the group. I'm outspoken about injustice, I get excited about who I am, I want to have great talks, I want to share. Ugh what's wrong with me 😒
They may not be real INFJs, this is a trend going on, and some people taking the MBTI on a certain mood end up INFJs by default, their stats are way too balanced and they don"t even recognize themselves in most of the description. I have a friend, who is clearly an INTP, but really balanced, that ended up INFJ a couple times... I found out about 2 years ago about the test, and though I was skeptical at first, it was like reading a book describing me. I always knew something was different about me, learned to kind of accept it with time without knowing what it was. I have a very high IQ/EQ but it always seemed to get me in trouble, saying stuff people didn"t want to hear. I have since taken the advice of many INFJ channels/books/articles and started the personal growth, and I have to say that though I still feel different, and probably never will have the relationships that everyone has, I have accepted what is good for me, what I want, and advancing towards this goal. And most of all, I don't really recognize myself anymore in those 5 unhealthy traits that Wenzes described. The only thing I never managed to change, is my sensory process disorder (when someone says something very hurtful, or very kind to me, or when I say something meaningful to someone, I may end up crying), and for a man, it is very akward. But truth is, I don't really care anymore ;) Good luck on your journey ! Get well in your body as well as your spirit.
I'd very much like to know what really is the difference between INFJ and ADD or INFJ and AuDHD? I don't give a shit about labels, but out of curiosity I'd like to know what I am so that I could understand myself better. I'm not making any claims here, but what if infj = intelligence+autism+add/adhd? At least youtube algorithm seems to think so 😂 When I found these infj videos on youtube, that was the first time in my life that I could put myself in a box. I have always known that somehow I'm slightly weird or different, but otherwise I had only thought I might have add. Those mbti and cognitive functions tests give me a different result every time, maybe I should've done those when I was younger. Finally I ended up with intj/infj, and it seems to be more infj. But when I had watched these videos a couple of years youtube started to suggest me autism videos all the time. For a long time I was like "wtf, I'm not interested and there's no way I could be autistic" until I watched the first one which was about audhd... and then I was even more like "wtf?" So now I'm very confused. On the one hand I don't care, but on the other... I'm always a bit obsessed when I don't have all the answers. 😅 And what comes to this video's topic, I have or have had all of these five issues 🙄
@klpuhelin2816 I was actually researching autism when I came across MBTI which was only a couple weeks ago. I figured I was on the spectrum till I took the personality test. I do know I'm neurodivergent and adhd Now I'm wondering how Autistic ppl test on MBTI. I feel like we're all a lil bit/a lot of all of it. An autistic super power is patterns
if preferring intelligent company is conceited, then yeah... lol jk 😂 It's hard to feel/care about other people's feelings all the time, especially when they don't care themselves. Alone is easier.
I used to limit my alone time because of this thought, but as I'm learning to heal and be more of a hermit, which I prefer, I realized this isn't the case and not our fault if people are offended because they don't understand.
I am sorry you lost your love. ☹I lost my partner months ago and learning to take life one day at a time. Small wins is a improvement. His passing forced me to learn to live in the present moment and to choose happiness. It is not easy but for the first time in my life, I no longer want to be stuck. This is a very rock bottom situation and there is no other way but up.
I found myself in all signs you were talking about. And even though I know it, I can't change it. I don't know how, I don't know what life I want to live :-(.
Sometimes I wander off into the third person, and it takes me a bit to snap back into myself. It used to be frequent and really interfered with my ability to function. I'm grateful to have become more in control of my life and the reality of it.
I relates to most traits in this video, I usually feels upset or down almost all the time. And I want to figure out what exactly is wrong with me?? I do acknowledge the fact that I definitely feel disconnected and misunderstood, in fact, I feel that all the time. I put on different facades towards different people, and its exhausting. I mean extremely *exhausting*. No one, not even my family knows that true real me. I'm afraid and fear they're not going to accept me for who I am, and those flaws I got. I overthink, I get overly anxious, I'm lazy, I feel tired most of the time, i have mood swings, I'm clumsy, I require *a lot* of personal self time, I get tired easily (especially in crowds) and so on. If I didn't do my best or act like a good happy person, I don't know what will happen. What makes this all worse is, my friends and family, none of them are available for me to vent, they're mentally not stable themselves, how can I rely on them? I had to learn all this by myself, on online and this is the only place i could finally talk about my problems and how I feel. Everybody around me just seems like in a bad mood, if not they're busy working. I couldn't talk to anyone, I only got my phone. I really want to get better, but its more difficult to do it on my own. I can only hope for the better and, figured out what to do.
Yeah, I feel like I don"t know who I actually am. Like there is some hidden energy witihin me that I don"t know how to expess. I want to find out. Feeling stuck in life, yes.
I recognized all the signs from my past. And I have no intention of going back to that version of myself...I like who I am now. It's just nice to know I'm not the only one who's been down that road before.
"...the people of ideas and abstract invention, who go from considering to doing and back to considering." This is what Isabel Myers wrote about Introverts in her book, Gifts Differing. And Extraverts are "...the people of action and practical achievement, who go from doing to considering back to doing." (Chapter 4)
I've taken the Meyers Briggs test at least 5 times over the years. Always INFJ- pensive or whatever the title is.. But I'm not so sure.. some of it matches but not all of it. The rarest personality type seems very grandiose and egoic to me.. I consider myself an ambivert.. or maybe I've always faked it bc I thought I had to. To fit in and all. ? I've rarely had a difficult time with my own company. I know most ppl in my youth thought I was the problem. Now at 44, I seriously doubt that. Folks don't like forwardness and blunt (not mean nor cruel) honesty. While I'm scolded for my very direct, firm and unapologetic boundaries, believe me when everyone comes to me when they need the "bouncer" as I'm called. Bc they know I not only mean my word but I'll actually enforce it. No drama for me, thank you. I don't know, jury is still out on this one.
From the growth and work over the last years… it is silly to have the mindset you are unworthy because one person or even a group thinks you should do more. Let them do more,. God saves , not me.
Its cains lineage - they are violated and thibk they are someone they are not . So thry takr your inner power to make themselvrs feel strong because they have no real power. .. its ekotional abusr.. im going through it right now .. again... this is the stuff that makes infjs go homeless.
What are some of the indicators you notice in yourself when you are on an "unhealthy mental path"?
For me it's many things, like spending my free time in bed not sleeping. Or not wanting to spend time with anyone.
I am an obsessive appeaser to my detriment
Drinking , Although I've given up drinking long ago. I remember I would lean on more drinking and partying when those things would happen.
If I don't get myself out of it it's gets worst. Just overthinking and very negative outlook.
All five are about controlling your ability to internalize negative feelings and emotions about your self. If you do this all of the mention will appear. Ask yourself few key questions: why you are looking at other people as an escape from reality, why you do excessive people pleasing - well, isn't it obvious that there's some kind of a negative persuasion about your own self that is making you do that, that is making you feel that your value is compromised and because of that you should looking for some kind of escape for example by putting other people before you. You cannot be valued as equal if you constantly putting yourself down.
Yes! I am the shepherd! Worked many years for a company that just used me until I completely burned out The work environment was very toxic. When I left they hired three people to try and replace me. If you don't look out for yourself no one else will.
Same here. Its just that we let that happen.
I could not agree with you more!@@hocksim
As an INFJ and being in my 45th year of life I dont think i i can handle working for other people anymore. Im just so tired of the myriad of m0r0ns at work. We INFJs tend to strive for excellence and there always seems to be a boss that's above me that's a tool. The lying, the cheating, the insecure people, it just drives ne nuts. The only time im ever feeling good and at peace is when im by myself.
And dont forget the married women accusing you of trying to get in thier pants because you are nice to them.
Same, I'm forced to look for a new job because I quit my last one for these very reasons and I'm worried I won't find anything because I can't deal with the same BS anymore. And I have zero ideas for what else to do jobwise.
5 SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY INFJ (RAREST PERSONALITY TYPE)
1:06
SIGN #1
You're looking
for an escape
in others
3:08
SIGN #2
You're overly
focused on
helping others
6:27
SIGN #3
You're
disconnected
from reality
9:06
SIGN #4
You feel
stuck
in life
11:14
SIGN #5
You feel
misunderstood
and disconnected
I felt the same way as you did when you discovered being an INFJ. It's exactly how I felt. I thought something was wrong with me, that no one else thinks the way I do. It felt lonely. Then I started studying this and I feel more fulfilled knowing that there are more people like me. It helped my mental health greatly. I'm not alone 😊
Just about a year ago... I experienced all 5 of those signs. Today I don’t, and your channel is a big part of my success. Words cannot thank you enough Wenzes to help me get out from the darkness.
Wenzes, youve helped me at 47yrs old to finally understand who i am. I discovered i was an INFJ a few months ago and was initially put off watchinv youtube clips because i struggled with how they explain things. I came across your page a week ago and have watched clips every day . I started uni this year to study my first love, miaic . Im taking the steps to focus on myself and with your clips and advice its a game changer .. you are amazing i am so grateful .. thank you so so much
I definitely feel misunderstood and disconnected. I've felt that way the majority of my life, as though I was born in the wrong era. I used to think it was just something that would get better once I became an adult, but realized I still felt this way into my twenties and thirties. I feel like I'm the only one in my generation who gets excited when I hear oldies music on the radio or on those infomercials on tv when they advertise that old '50s and '60s music.
Same here. I'm now 41 and loved old music since my teens, especially the ones from the 20s, 30s, and 40s.
This used to be the past versions of me. Gosh, getting rid of those old patterns has been a tough work.
~ “forward motion in life!” Are you feeling stuck in your life?
I was, for months, because I was not doing things that are, or sound, FUN.
Going on a vacation that required a lot of physical activity catapulted me out of my mental & physical hermit loop. Been back home for 2 weeks and am now in a rope & rock climbing course, lifting weights (my 62 y.o. arms look like they did 10 years ago, no longer have to wear sleeves to cover my upper arms. And, I’m not stopping there: I’ve also signed up for kayak fishing.
I feel ALIVE and STRONG again!
We romantically like people who are far away because it’s escapism?
yeah... we get to check the 'relationship' box without having to spend real relationship energy. just my opinion 🤷🏼♀️
@@CourtClipsUSA how to get over this D:
Can you do a video on INFJ and chronic illness, if u wanna get more specific... Chronic illness that results in chronic depression who are also not willing to take medication anymore cuz we don't want 17 side effects and feel like a zombie or feel like we're living in a glass box. Thanks chick
Yes please.
I keep watching these videos trying to find what's wrong with me. I recently found out I'm an INFJ - originally thought I was autistic. I got excited to find my characteristics are INFJ and i related so much. So I joined a couple groups of INFJ on fb and im finding I don't fit in well there either. They all seem either depressed, angry, non are outspoken, non will speak out about being devalued (he devalued women)by a person in the group. I'm outspoken about injustice, I get excited about who I am, I want to have great talks, I want to share.
Ugh what's wrong with me 😒
You are fine. Those just aren't your people 🫂 Keep looking. I am 42 and only recently found mine 💜 Not all INFJ's are created equal 🥰💗
They may not be real INFJs, this is a trend going on, and some people taking the MBTI on a certain mood end up INFJs by default, their stats are way too balanced and they don"t even recognize themselves in most of the description. I have a friend, who is clearly an INTP, but really balanced, that ended up INFJ a couple times...
I found out about 2 years ago about the test, and though I was skeptical at first, it was like reading a book describing me. I always knew something was different about me, learned to kind of accept it with time without knowing what it was. I have a very high IQ/EQ but it always seemed to get me in trouble, saying stuff people didn"t want to hear.
I have since taken the advice of many INFJ channels/books/articles and started the personal growth, and I have to say that though I still feel different, and probably never will have the relationships that everyone has, I have accepted what is good for me, what I want, and advancing towards this goal.
And most of all, I don't really recognize myself anymore in those 5 unhealthy traits that Wenzes described.
The only thing I never managed to change, is my sensory process disorder (when someone says something very hurtful, or very kind to me, or when I say something meaningful to someone, I may end up crying), and for a man, it is very akward.
But truth is, I don't really care anymore ;)
Good luck on your journey ! Get well in your body as well as your spirit.
I'd very much like to know what really is the difference between INFJ and ADD or INFJ and AuDHD? I don't give a shit about labels, but out of curiosity I'd like to know what I am so that I could understand myself better.
I'm not making any claims here, but what if infj = intelligence+autism+add/adhd? At least youtube algorithm seems to think so 😂
When I found these infj videos on youtube, that was the first time in my life that I could put myself in a box. I have always known that somehow I'm slightly weird or different, but otherwise I had only thought I might have add. Those mbti and cognitive functions tests give me a different result every time, maybe I should've done those when I was younger. Finally I ended up with intj/infj, and it seems to be more infj. But when I had watched these videos a couple of years youtube started to suggest me autism videos all the time. For a long time I was like "wtf, I'm not interested and there's no way I could be autistic" until I watched the first one which was about audhd... and then I was even more like "wtf?" So now I'm very confused. On the one hand I don't care, but on the other... I'm always a bit obsessed when I don't have all the answers. 😅
And what comes to this video's topic, I have or have had all of these five issues 🙄
@klpuhelin2816 I was actually researching autism when I came across MBTI which was only a couple weeks ago. I figured I was on the spectrum till I took the personality test. I do know I'm neurodivergent and adhd
Now I'm wondering how Autistic ppl test on MBTI. I feel like we're all a lil bit/a lot of all of it. An autistic super power is patterns
@@GreenWizardPTR I feel like a lot might be INFP. I don't do whoa is me - I'm actually really positive
If we love being by ourselves too much....is it conceit that we prefer our own company to others?
if preferring intelligent company is conceited, then yeah... lol jk 😂
It's hard to feel/care about other people's feelings all the time, especially when they don't care themselves. Alone is easier.
I used to limit my alone time because of this thought, but as I'm learning to heal and be more of a hermit, which I prefer, I realized this isn't the case and not our fault if people are offended because they don't understand.
I keep seeing these videos so I thought, I need to take this test. After 160 questions… I am UNDEFINED. Please retake the test.
Stuck - yes ! I'm an INFJ and a widow too. Wonder how other INFJ's deal with grief ?
I am sorry you lost your love. ☹I lost my partner months ago and learning to take life one day at a time. Small wins is a improvement. His passing forced me to learn to live in the present moment and to choose happiness. It is not easy but for the first time in my life, I no longer want to be stuck. This is a very rock bottom situation and there is no other way but up.
I found myself in all signs you were talking about. And even though I know it, I can't change it. I don't know how, I don't know what life I want to live :-(.
the crush thing is soooo true. it is so hard to get over it and being okay with loneliness
I've gotten over the first two, but I'm still going through the last three.
Nope. That's not me. I don't think I'm unhealthy. Just jaded and beat-down. Although...
I try not to be bitter but it is something that surfaces from time to time.
Happy valentine's coach 🌹
Thank you. I think I really needed to hear this
Thank you very much. I really appreciate this channel. I discovered it just yesterday and i think it's just the perfect timing for me. Keep going🎖🎖🎖
Overly helping to my own detriment and feeling stuck in my day job resonate very highly!
Sometimes I wander off into the third person, and it takes me a bit to snap back into myself. It used to be frequent and really interfered with my ability to function. I'm grateful to have become more in control of my life and the reality of it.
I relates to most traits in this video, I usually feels upset or down almost all the time. And I want to figure out what exactly is wrong with me??
I do acknowledge the fact that I definitely feel disconnected and misunderstood, in fact, I feel that all the time.
I put on different facades towards different people, and its exhausting. I mean extremely *exhausting*.
No one, not even my family knows that true real me.
I'm afraid and fear they're not going to accept me for who I am, and those flaws I got.
I overthink, I get overly anxious, I'm lazy, I feel tired most of the time, i have mood swings, I'm clumsy, I require *a lot* of personal self time, I get tired easily (especially in crowds) and so on.
If I didn't do my best or act like a good happy person, I don't know what will happen.
What makes this all worse is, my friends and family, none of them are available for me to vent, they're mentally not stable themselves, how can I rely on them?
I had to learn all this by myself, on online and this is the only place i could finally talk about my problems and how I feel.
Everybody around me just seems like in a bad mood, if not they're busy working.
I couldn't talk to anyone, I only got my phone.
I really want to get better, but its more difficult to do it on my own. I can only hope for the better and, figured out what to do.
I gave allll of these! All!
Yeah, I feel like I don"t know who I actually am. Like there is some hidden energy witihin me that I don"t know how to expess. I want to find out. Feeling stuck in life, yes.
I recognized all the signs from my past. And I have no intention of going back to that version of myself...I like who I am now. It's just nice to know I'm not the only one who's been down that road before.
"...the people of ideas and abstract invention, who go from considering to doing and back to considering." This is what Isabel Myers wrote about Introverts in her book, Gifts Differing. And Extraverts are "...the people of action and practical achievement, who go from doing to considering back to doing." (Chapter 4)
I've taken the Meyers Briggs test at least 5 times over the years. Always INFJ- pensive or whatever the title is..
But I'm not so sure.. some of it matches but not all of it. The rarest personality type seems very grandiose and egoic to me.. I consider myself an ambivert.. or maybe I've always faked it bc I thought I had to. To fit in and all. ?
I've rarely had a difficult time with my own company. I know most ppl in my youth thought I was the problem. Now at 44, I seriously doubt that. Folks don't like forwardness and blunt (not mean nor cruel) honesty. While I'm scolded for my very direct, firm and unapologetic boundaries, believe me when everyone comes to me when they need the "bouncer" as I'm called. Bc they know I not only mean my word but I'll actually enforce it. No drama for me, thank you.
I don't know, jury is still out on this one.
K-rap I'm 70 and got 5 out of 5. My first perfect score 🤐
misunderstood? Not anymore
Damn. I'm still unhealthy 😢
10:50 what if you're not sure where you want to be? How do you get some direction?
I shouldn't be myself............
From the growth and work over the last years… it is silly to have the mindset you are unworthy because one person or even a group thinks you should do more. Let them do more,. God saves , not me.
God damn tell me about....😂🍻😞
Agora é yatde, amor.
Its cains lineage - they are violated and thibk they are someone they are not . So thry takr your inner power to make themselvrs feel strong because they have no real power. .. its ekotional abusr.. im going through it right now .. again... this is the stuff that makes infjs go homeless.
Sick and tired 😊
Why change if u can be like johan liebert 😂
very good point you presented in your video.
Ludaci, sve što ste uradili je ekstra.