Signs Of A Highly Sensitive Person - Dr. Julie Smith
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- #sensitive #emotional #highlysensitiveperson
For more on this see the book - The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - Link below -amzn.to/3uTBI0U
In this video, I explain what it really means for everyday life if you happen to be a highly sensitive person, how you can benefit from its advantages and minimise its vulnerabilities, as well as pointing you towards some further reading should you need it.
Thank you for your continued support on all my videos, whether it be TikTok, CZcams, or Instagram I truly appreciate all the support.
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Note: HSP is not a clinical disorder. It is a neutral trait that around 15-20% of the population share. This video is for informative purposes. Check out the work of Elaine Aron for more.
Not Therapy No Advice Via DM
I’ve known this about myself since I was a child. In fact, my parents took me to a psychologist when I was 5 or 6 years old. I remember him telling my parents that I was just “sensitive”. I’m 63 now and I can say that this trait is a double edged sword. It allows me to help people who are in emotional distress, but it also makes me vulnerable when people want to hurt me.
I have the same, I don't view it as a double edge sword. It is completely dull sword. Women view you as a puss and so do many men. This is something men have to suppress and move on...
@@bufordard The only people who have treated me like that are the type of people whose company I do not care to keep. But, there will always be mean people. Don’t worry about them. As I said before, being sensitive allows me to “read” people and help them. I get a lot of joy from that!
@@bufordard you can still be sensitive and strong at the same time.
@@vancouverpoy yep, suppress and move on....
Bless you, I know the feeling too well. I wish you the best and embrace our gifts that life has given us.
i’m a hsp and the hardest thing is that you have deep empathy for people, even bad people. You just can’t turn it off.
I'm highly sensitive I am so in tuned with environment that I find it difficult to function I do shut off I don't like the radio on I like to be in my own but it comes with problems I meet really lovely people but I also many disturbed people I'm just starting to work out for what are the signs because nobody taught me this thank you so much I really do need to listen and get some self help
❤❤❤❤❤😢 I totally agree and understand. So true.
Yh😢
And society acts like you’re foolish for wanting to be kind in general 😪🥲
Couldn't agree more 😢
This is me it's so overwhelming...i can't be in a crowd for too long or hang out with people too much I get easily drained. When I'm maybe in a public transport and there's noise around me I have the ability to completely block it out with my thoughts... Don't know how to explain that but I'm highly sensitive I feel people's pain and hurt. Many don't understand me i also like my win space, love to read, write just being myself and it's okay but most people will think I'm weird ofcourse not that I won't go out but I prefer being alone most of the time to avoid feeling the pain and hurt and the noise around me.
“The world needs highly sensitive people” thank you for making this video! ❤
Hello, how are you doing? I hope you're okay, and everyone around you, as well 🤗
My family doesn’t understand that the main reason I stay in my room majority of the time I’m in the house is because it quiets down all the noise and emotions I take aboard (I live in a family of 7 and I’m constantly over stimulated with noise and mood swings). Like if I hear my parents speaking in a stressed out tone, even if I can’t hear exactly what they’re saying, my body displays that stress as my own. It can be very exhausting and why its crucial I need my alone time
This resonates so much with me. I understand why I like being by myself a little better now.
tae tae I was exactly like you ! i now live alone with 3 cats and play guitar daily! Always been easy to overstimulate. less is more...the sound of Gods voice to me is absolute silence or the wind and birds.
This is so me omg
literally word for word
and it just sucks when we cant explain to them about us being HSPs because they'd think we r just being sensitive.. :cc
To all my highly sensitive friends reading this;
I know that you've tried to change yourself at least once, but don't. Just know that you can be inspiration to many people and there is a lot of beautiful sides of highly sensitivity that you are about to discover. Once you start accepting, loving and understanding yourself you will be very happy person. I wish you a long and beautiful life filled with love, peace, people who support you and appreciate you. You are stronger than you think. ❤❤
Thank you so much
💜💕
🥰
God bless you🥹❤️🙏🏻
Thank You so much
I'm definitely in this category. I have tons of empathy for others and I can pick up lots of subtle clues in people's behaviour, moods and body language that most of my other friends can not. I can't be around people who have zero empathy whatsoever.
Same here! But it’s very difficult for my self.
Sometimes it is alot to handle. It feels like everyone around me is stressed at times.
Sameeeeee!!!
Omg I'm a copy paste of you!!
I’m a Pisces 💘💗
I am a highly sensitive person , I would say it’s a blessing and a curse . I have worked very hard not to let small things get to me - but I am extremely loyal and supportive to those close to me . This video describes me perfectly
I’ve said that most my life
It’s both a blessing & a curse to feel things so very deeply 🖤🤍
Amen
In elementary school I was ridiculed harshly because I wept so easily. No one could possibly understand that I was weeping for the beauty of the sunlight, the scent of the air, the sound of birds. I’m 67 now. It was harsh - but I am very grateful that I can see and smell and feel so deeply. Never could get very close to another human because they can’t quite comprehend. But love those around me and despite having to walk alone….I’d. not havre it any other way.
Wow, that sounds absolutely profound to be able to appreciate and feel so deeply. What a gift you have!
Empathy
Wow, it was the very same for me.... I cried about everything and people thought I was weird and didn't like me.... I had a terrible childhood....
Yes!! Same here. But being an HSP makes me really in tune to animals! I can totally read them and they seek me out for refuge. My friends refer to me as the Animal whisperer.
I believe you Dana... I made a bird sanctuary outside my living room window so I can watch them play around all day.... A lovely little hummingbird decided to fly right up to my face like it was trying to communicate with me.. I was amazed... There are definitely some positives about being highly sensitive...
@@danapowers2102
I’m 44 years old and work as a nurse. This information hit me hard. I cried and sobbed, this makes all sense. All my life I thought I was the problem and could not handle my feelings and emotions like other people do. I wish I have learnt this a long time ago and I could have handled many things in my life differently. I’m very grateful that you opened my heart and mind. I can finally start to be more kinder to myself and start self healing❤️ god bless 🙏🏻
You're not alone. My Grandmother told me from the time I was young that I had "the gift.." being able to know what people felt and what they needed, to have them leave my life being better off than they were than they came into my life. It was years before I realized what she meant, and it wasn't until I became a nurse that I learned what a HSP was and that I was one.
There are a fair amount of us in our field, which makes sense that people like us would want to help others, but being a HSP working in healthcare is so very hard. It's important to remember to take time for yourself, it's important to know that how you feel and experience our every day lives as HSPs is completely normal, and most importantly that we are not alone in feeling the way we do.
Keep doing you, keep being an amazing nurse and know you are not alone! 🤗❤️
@@jackiedaytona8565 thank you for your powerful words, love and encouragement ❤️bless you and your family 🫶
I can so relate to what you ate saying. I'm a nurse too and highly sensitive. while this is great for empathy, it's difficult to work in a fast paced hospital environment with lots of conflicting stimuli.
God Bless
Another RN here and I totally agree about recognizing this trait and learning to be kind to yourself. I was shocked by the number of things mentioned that are 100% me. All these years how I thought badly about myself and felt like I was weak or less. This literally brings me to tears. Today I will start to deal with this differently and raise myself up. So very thankful to Dr.Julie for this video.
Being sensitive is a blessing, but it can be too demanding. It is in fact a sign of profound awareness, sensitive peace have a keen insight into the human consciousness
As someone who is very highly sensitive person who is 24/7 anxious and getting panic attacks and crying uncontrollably everytime, lacking self confidence, feeling extremely weak and exhausted explaining about how we feel.....
It gets really hard to control your emotions and the way we react to everything around us especially dealing with people who are less bothered about how we feel.😢
I struggle with anxiety too. I'm right there with you. 😣 It's hard for my family to understand how I feel but my mom is trying to learn more about it through videos on CZcams.
She has had anxiety in the past because of something that happened at work so she knows. I'm just more prone to it. I started feeling anxious at a young age.
I can feel you on 😢
Same as me... It's like you spoke my heart...
I have been through this and still in it. Family and friends blamed me for overthinking.
I never realized the reason and landed up with chronic anxiety attacks. I was using all the wrong solutions like escaping, avoiding, blaming myself and ended up thinking that I don't fit to the idealogies of this world.
@@eval4495same im this type person and i started have anxiety in young age .
Bright artificial light, strange smells, poor hygiene, intense and sharp noises, loud people painfully boring and predictably small talk, intense and obstinate people are very difficult for me.
Melancholy, beautiful touching music, stillness, epic moments, beautiful nature experiences, a good book and a cup of tea, a quiet apartment, romantic encounters, a deep or interesting conversation are my great joy and meaning in life. I am a highly sensitive person. Very very highly sensitive person.
I feel the same, except bright lights. Cars honking disturbed me to the point I cannot work until they stop.
@@sanjaymehta3410 You are NOT alone.
I read Elaine's book years ago and discovered that I am a highly sensitive person. What I struggle with the most is the frenetic pace of the world and conversing with people that overwhelm me because they talk fast, interrupt, and present too much information too quickly for me to process. At work, people want me to keep up with them and expect me to answer a question or solve a problem much more quickly than I am able to, because I just don't work that fast mentally. This overwhelms me to the point that I just shut down, because I'm ashamed to ask that people slow down. I get upset with myself that I can't seem to go at a pace that the majority of people are entirely comfortable with. This goes for physical as well as mental activity.
I can definitely relate. ...There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone to slow down if they are speaking too fast or presenting too much information too quickly. You can kindly interrupt and ask them to repeat what they said or try to repeat back what they said and ask if you heard them correctly then move on. Sometimes we have to "force" others to slow down if the exchange will be productive.
@samud220 Your experience is very similar to mine all my life. Im just now learning about what it means to be an HSP but I have also speculated for a long time that I might be experiencing an auditory processing disorder. I have much improved since childhood but I still have quite a bit of anxiety now that my circumstances require me to return to the workforce and possibly school. Check out auditory processing disorder.
This is really validating. I always knew I am a highly sensitive person. I always get told I'm a big baby. Although I'm highly sensitive I'm still a strong person. Thank you for this
One of my friends literally called me a baby when I silently cried out of frustration when I couldn't understand a thing I was studying that time.
@@cyrillemanalo2229 you're not a baby at all, learning something new can be very overwhelming. Others just may not understand that our brains work differently. We're not weaker, it just takes a different approach for us to get through stress.
@@cyrillemanalo2229 crying for something like this is so stupid. Ofcourse you looked like a baby. Man up.
You can't be strong, and a baby.
Maturity means control of your person. Being able to respond in the best way. Being sensitive in a lot of cases leads to problems (work, fights, relationships, etc). I am an engineer. I will have business one day. I cach anyone crying or some dumb shit from arguing or to much work, I will fire that person on the spot. Society does not need snowflakes.
I disagree as a strong baby who benched 400 lbs at bodyweight 183 age 29. I was a baby then and now. cry easy as a man...so what?
1. depth of processing
2. emotional responses
3. sensitive to subtle stimulus
I'm a highly sensitive person, and have been told by many people it's a negative thing and a sign of weakness, but I think the positives to being very sensitive outweigh the negatives. Also, I can't change the core of who I am and don't feel I should have to.
I grew up being highly sensitive and highly misunderstood. I see a lot of this in my son who is 6 now. He enjoys meditation, but after watching this I think we should make it part or our everyday.
music art nature and wild animals plants are how I cope! We are better at all these things I believe.
Definitely!
Daily meditation saved me! So lovely to hear the younger generation practising meditation. I used to play meditation cd`s for my son when he was younger, around the age of 7, at bedtime... it would help him calm down his nervous system ready for sleep.
Babies are not born "over sensitive." They learn it from their parents or primary care givers who communicate it to them in subtle ways. It becomes a problem as they grow. Good luck with the meditation, I'm sure it will help.
Yep. Been there, done that for 69 years. Never married because of it, but became a writer at 61 and found a great outlet for my emotions.
Hmm I’m thinking to stay single bc I’m highly sensitive and always get very very hurt in them bc I get so easily upset by things. Almost getting addicted to pain bc of that issue.
Growing up my mother was constantly telling people “SHE’s SENSITIVE” in a sarcastic tone. Then I read Daniel Golemsn’s books: Social Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence… it changed my perspective. I now think of myself as having Social and Emotional Intelligence rather than that vague word sensitive. My observations of peoples facial clues and body movements has VALUE. As a nurse that gift has saved the lives and helped me to recognize my patients distress so that they got immediate care.
On the flip side it also lets me recognize underlying thoughts of others…then I have to remind myself that this is their temporary private thought….and I have private thoughts about them too but they just can’t read my facial expressions. Then I have to forgive and move forward.
Yes, to referring to this personality gift as being socially and emotionally intelligent!
And, I appreciated what you said about one of the tools you’ve used in handling the recognized private thoughts of others.
Problem is when you see/feel but cant prove in some situations.
@@northstar5919i know what you are saying. you collected the info but you are not sure if it is important or relevant in how you communicate with the other person
Highly sensitive extrovert here. Thanks for all the distinctions between different preferences in this video! Extroverts in the HSP community aren't well-represented in literature (even the book you recommended), and seems to be something most people misunderstand. Also, HSPs tend to experience anxiety, depression, and shyness, so the highly sensitive aspect is easily overlooked. Thanks again!
Hi Messily how are you doing?
Well said! Happy to see another person like me and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Do you have any recommendations on extroverts in the HSP? I think I‘m one of those & would love do dive deep into understanding myself better. Hope you’re doing well and thank you for your comment 🫶🏼
I am one of those extroverted HSPs too. I think it gives me a lot of power as I am very empathetic and would like to communicate with people. However, I get hurt by people and start crying easily.
@@tugbaozkan7803 Totally relate. To people or not to people, that is the question. 🫤
My definition of a being a HSP is similar to being a sponge. Absorbing so much energy, both positive and negative, while being completely surrounded by vast bodies of water (emotions). There’s no escape or peace unless you isolate yourself from the rest of the world.
Yes, you described it perfectly. I feel the emotions of other people too, and it can be torture if they are malevolent. I am starting to understand why some women went to live all alone in the woods only surrounded by nature.
This is ME! I’m an Occupational Therapist, now retired , and have had a successful career for nearly 40 years, and I’ve loved the majority of my patients. I’ve worked in many environments and with many people, all over this Country. But after work I needed to rest or be doing something in my “Zen” which was martial arts, sewing or gardening/ landscaping. I’m painfully shy when by myself; I usually shop when there’s the least amount of people, and, if given the opportunity to walk into a crowded social gathering, I’d never do it alone. I still have issues ordering food from a service line and will opt for sit-down dining whenever possible. Yet with this I’ve done brave acts for others that made a difference in their lives, so when “push comes to shove” I’m willing and able to act. I’ve always been a person that. doesn’t mind being alone. My husband is an extrovert with a wonderful sense of humor and I just tag along for the ride. It makes it easier for me to be more social and interactive 😊
I believe most people already know that they are highly sensitive, but hearing it out definitely struck something deep inside.
So funny, right before I saw this video I said to my daughter while looking out the window, "I could stare at these trees all day." The simple beauty of nature truly does calm my highly sensitive soul. 🍃
I'm definitely HSP. I've picked up things and scenarios from people just based on a look or even a feeling. Some people would think I'm weird. I can feel things from listening to someone's story. I can get physical pain sometimes. Doesn't always happen but it does. I took a test and I'm a ambivert (both).
I have always felt the physical pain of others. It’s gotten so much stronger the older I get. I thought it was normal at first but slowly realized nobody else I’ve met has been the same. I’ve recently started trying to figure out why this happens to me. I’ll be 34 next week and I’m just now truly starting to understand myself and hopefully along the way help my daughter. She’s more sensitive than I am in some ways but doesn’t feel physical pain like me, at least not yet. Thank you for this comment it made me realize there are other people out there like me❤️
Actually that means you are empath. You need a protection. Because this can ruin your life sometimes. You are taking all negative energy from others like these feelings or pains yours. So i suggest you to research what means being an empath...
Same!
So, now you're just trying to be some sort of hero. Yawn.
@@medine7759 No such thing as negative energy.
For all this time, i thought I was an introvert and saw myself as inferior and shy, but after this video I realised I'm a highly sensitive person. My mother always yells at me to be a stronger person, not be so sensitive and emotional and not to overreact, but I can't seem to help that in any way. Now I just go to my room and cry to myself about every minor inconvenience caused.
This is my life in less than 7 minutes. Thank you. Feels so good to recognize it, name it, accept it and embrace it. Use it to empower.
I'm also highly sensitive. At highschool other boys would try to make me cry by saying the most ugly things. They knew I was highly sensitive and used my 'weakness' to make them feel good. The girls would call me shy and didn't want to date me or give me a chance. At work I'm quite easily distracted and care a lot for other people. I'm very collegiate and some people take advantage of that by letting me do their job. I thought I had a light form of autism before but this makes more sense to me.
WOW For the first time in 26 years I finally understand myself … all down to this video! I’ve shared it with close family as I’ve never been able to describe how I feel
So glad this helped you 🥰
I was 71 when I had the same feeling .
I’m 66, and have recognised myself as an HSP for some time. What I really find helps is choosing the activities that you get involved in, and the friends that you surround yourself with real care. You need time to ‘recharge your batteries’, and those around you need to know and respect that. It’s not an easy path, but it is navigable with mindfulness and care.
@@DrJulie Hello doctor, I request to make a video on philophobia
@@DrJulie
Thank YOU!🫂🫶
So very MUCH! For sharing this information!
I’ve cried since watching it!
You’ve just made me feel.. relieved! & at peace with being me! I’ve struggled all my life as far back as I can remember & hearing you say it just made me cry to hear someone professionally, psychologically talk about it & its positive & negative sides of being a highly sensitive person!
Thank YOU‼️❤️
I’ve always said for a long back as I can remember
“It’s both a blessing & a curse to feel things so VERY deeply!” &
This video confirms why I felt the need to say that!
You don’t know how.. relieved I feel from this video!
So
Grateful
Thank YOU‼️❤️
That’s makes sense and why sometimes I have to rush out of places feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained.
Thanks Dr. I always need a 'vacation' from family and friends after a little while though I love being with people and I'm in touch and in good rapport with lots of friends and family. Never told anyone I wanted away from them after a while to 'meditate' in my 'alone' time. I love music for the first 5 minutes then I find it to be annoying noise.
I am 50. Report cards in school said daydreamer until I wanted to go get high school done and university and college. I am bipolar 2, adhd, ptsd, and GAD. I am super good w people until my mania, the clown, crashes. Then i need alone time for like three days. I have been in therapy and on meds for years but that doesn't dull empathy. I am pisces, the most empathetic people. This psychologist human being is pretty bang on the mark. I am now learning to let go, accept, change, and calm. The world of greedy people is what it is, but my life is what I live.❤
Thank you! As an HSP I have always felt misunderstood. I still struggle. But I found a way to use this as a gift. The gift of caretaking.
Watch Gabor Mate, dont over do it not to exhaust yourself
I found that training ourselves to have the ability to intentionally ignore and mentally block things out really helps
I know it goes against our instincts, but we gotta keep ourselves sane somehow hahah
6 things us sensitive people can relate :
1) We don’t laugh at people because we understand it could hurt them
2) Despite how many years ago it was, we still think about someone we may have hurt
3) When we emotionally hurt someone , we work like hell for forgiveness (don’t let it become people pleasing)
4) We are very emotionally connected to movie characters.
5) We have small friendship groups.
6) We care TOO much about people ❤️
Growing up, I thought I was the problem that needed fixing. My family told me that I was too sensitive and a “crybaby,” which made me feel worse. The sight of rape, domestic violence, animal abuse, suffering, or gore makes me want to vomit. Now, in my 30s, I’m finally embracing who I am. I no longer see my high sensitivity to my surroundings and people as a problem. I'm still hoping to be around people who’ll accept me as I am, but what's most important is accepting myself first.
I have always wondered a lot about myself. And I've always thought I had a problem. Thank you very much for sharing this. I pick subtleties. 40+ years of living and for the first time I am able to make sense of my life.
I'm currently having a mental breakdown. I'm working closely with my therapist, other doctors, and this is one of the things I am attempting to cope and learn to accept. I appreciate these videos that take the time to accurately and articulate the trait.
Look up Dr. Gabor Mate change your life
It’s a super power ❤ we’re highly gifted. If we can learn to treat ourselves like we treat others. That’s where the magic happens 🌟
I read a book once called, "The Way They Learn" by Cynthia Tobias. Immediately I recognize myself as an abstract random which I think may often go hand in hand with sensitivity. If you're a parent or grandparent this is a great book as it shows the different learning styles of children. We tend to educate as one size fits all. But learning the differences allows freedom for children to be who they are in the school setting.
I am currently reading ur book'Why has nobody told me this before'.Its helps me to figure it out my emotions and make myself better.Being a HSP is harder, you absorb every emotions around you.You are affected by the mood of others.You feel empathy and extreme love for the people who is nice to you.Its make u sad that u are not worth for their love.Self doubt and lack of confidence affects the life.When i feel low mood or sad for little things or for the people who around me i usually said to myself 'how pure ur heart is ,u feel the other person and care about each little thing in ur life, u are a pure creature,be proud'.Sometimes i tried hard to be strong and not to cry but at last i cry.Looking back i face many problems strongly.I practice gratitude expressing that mentioned in ur book.It makes me realize how strong really i am.Your book is definitely a life changing one.It helps me a lot to understand my level of sensitivity and maintain the motivation at harder times.Even now i am facing some hazards but i looks forward with positivity and gratitude for the past.Thanks for writing the book.It changed my life.I am pursuing mbbs and i wanted to become a psychiatrist.And i wish to inspire many people like you do.✨
For all HSPs here 'You own a beautiful pure heart with unstained emotions.May other people can't understand you because u are a special creature.Stay strong.God bless you'❤️
Oh my gosh! This was so helpful. Just ordered the book and now off to watch some more of these videos. I actually feel better now. I thought something was ‘wrong’ with me my whole life. Thank you
I am really glad this video helps!
Just come action this video and feel exactly the same!
Dr Julie provides such useful and evidence-based advice - so much information can be gained from watching her videos on many many topics. Her book would be very helpful too - I agree! What's the number one tip you have taken?
@@DrJulie Hi Julie - I think from watching many of your videos - you are providing help to so many people and using the net to disseminate material far and wide around the world! SO thankyou!
What was the book? I’m trying to find it thanks
I recognize myself in this! I have always been described as "sensitive" in both good and bad ways. At this very moment it feels like a burden to be this way, I feel my anxiety and own feelings are already enough but I find myself picking up on those of the people around me too. I just want to feel lighter.
Oh my 😮word! I know I’m sensitive but never thought I was a highly sensitive person! I just learned now why I always feel like in large crowds, especially noisy, I feel I need to RUN away and hastily withdraw myself! Thanks
Did she just say 20% this is bad news for us HSPs . Meaning 80% people won't understand us. Makes me feel isolated. 20% is so little.
I'm also highly sensitive, like when no one is saying anything to me at all, i start to cry. My way of dealing with this is trying not to think about it too much. I try to act strong and make up that im hard to break and smile all the time but in reality im always thinking so in the end i let my emotions get the better of me and i end up crying for no reason while im smiling. Looking and being tough does work but i just cant control my thoughts and emotions which over comes in the end
Its ditto for me.. My heartbeat gets fast when I need to confront someone. Also, People say they didnt mean it when they said so, but I look for tone, words everything. I cry often too when people misunderstand or say harsh words to me..recently, I have started thinking that why does it affect ne so much. Whatevrr the person said is his perspective and its not true for me even then I feel bad and deeply hurt. Also, I cant stand lies and manipulations as i think its exhausting.
This is absolutely me-always has been. I remember when I first learned about the term “empath” and that HSP was a real thing-it made me feel so heard. I have always taken on the energy and emotions of others, I’m extremely sensitive and have always cried at the drop of a hat-especially if someone else is upset (even a stranger). Plus, all of the other things she mentioned. I absolutely NEED alone time daily to decompress.
I have used it to my advantage, though, and became a drug and alcohol counselor. I am able to develop really strong relationships with my clients and people feel really comfortable with opening up to me.
Interestingly, I have found that balancing my chakras (particularly the heart) has helped me a LOT to regulate my emotions. I don’t cry as easily now and have been able to use it as a strength. Just an idea if you are struggling. I have found guided meditations to be most helpful ❤
Yup yup! I don’t like hearing the bad things that happened to my mom. I do listen but it’s breaks me inside and I tell her kindly it already happened and she is loved now! But everything about this is very true for me. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it. Ugh 😣
I too resonate with this which is why I have suffered with anxiety most of my life. Mindfulness helps!
I love that I found this channel and as a highly sensitive person, I am so glad I have found this video in particular. Growing up and even now when I share with my mom about something she’s not very understanding on why I may cry for certain things or be sensitive to certain things. I have stopped being vulnerable with my mom for the most part when it comes to these things because she always says tells me “you are just so sensitive Sarah” in a condescending way, it has made me feel so bad.
I hear you on this one, Sarah. My family often feels overwhelming to me and yet when I withdraw for downtime, I sense they see it as lazy or not being able to cope. I did sit down with my mum and asked her to watch the film 'Sensitive' with me. I felt her listening to psychologists and researchers about it, validated what I'd been saying a bit.
Being an HSP can be a super power and we definitely need them/us. I have to remind myself not to frame my needs as me 'not coping' or me 'being more delicate', which I often did just so people would accept my need for down time. And I'm finally stopping looking for validation and understanding from people who just aren't sensitive enough to perceive it 😊.
I appreciate this is being recognized. In fact, it seems more than normal to me to be highly sensitive in a culture which is too loud and insensitive.
Im in love with a woman who is having hard times in life and her mind is going awkward because of it.... Now i want to help her to be happy like her old times.... But what i am getting in return is hatred and problems and dilemma about my own life .... Still i continue to love her
This is definitely me. The problem is that my family does’t understand. They make me feel that I’m the one with the problem and that I need to change.
I don't have all these properties, like I'm not super scared of upsetting things like horror movies / shows, but there are certain things that are in this video that is sooo accurate to me. For most of my life, I have always been told to toughen up and that I'm too sensitive to live in this world. It's ridiculous so I turned to this video to learn what type of a person I might be. Thank you this helped to much to understand myself and how to help myself. I have already been diagnosed by severe anxiety and I think that this might be a big reason why I get things like anxiety attacks. Again, thank you. In my opinion, don't listen to the people who tell you that you have to "toughen up" and "stop being so sensitive". Do your own research and figure out why you feel like this, turn to people that are like you for comfort. And just because your a highly sensitive person doesn't mean that you can't do hard working jobs, where you have to work with other people a lot and do a lot and make quick decisions. As Dr Julie said in this video, being a person like this is not a disorder and sometimes it can actually be a great benefit to you that other people don't have.
Keep it together my friends and keep on going, you'll make it, I promise. :D
One of my friends gifted me the book "Why has nobody told me this before" written by you. After reading through chapter 1 "On dark places," I felt why I am reading this book so late in my life. It would have helped me to understand my kids better during the formative years. This is a wonderful book, and I am yet to finish it, but already sent multiple thank you to my friend for gifting this book. I have subscribed to your CZcams channel and am feeling the difference in my perspective of life.
Thank you for writing this book.
Regards
Rajesh Kumar
This made me cry. I feel like I have lost friends and have difficulty with relationships because of this. If someone does something that hurts me, I find it hard to forget and think about it a lot. It's draining. So draining
Finally something that describes me very well. Lately I was blaming myself for being this way, getting effected by small changes and how overwhelming it can get that it paralyzes me. I'm not introverted but I need my breaks. Also, yes being misunderstood as a kid and no one around me realizing that I'm a highly sensitive person and certain events having such a profound impact on me. I was really starting to think that something was wrong with me. I still dont know what should I do? This is my first video on this channel so I hope I can find other resources here.
I think I'm on the sensitive side too. It takes me a long time to get over things. I'm not introverted, but being prone to bad depression, I do isolate a lot.
This is me, plus I’m autistic with trauma history. I keep getting pathologised but I just process things differently.
This was great to hear. I've always been regarded as having a problem because I'm highly sensitive. I've heard many put downs because this is one of my traits. ❤
I’ve discovered this about myself these last few years, and Im almost 60yr old….All my family have been so unloving, unaccepting of my trait….always complaining that I’m too sensitive, too stubborn, too this, too that…..I’ve been rejected by everyone who CLAIMS to love, because of they truly lOVED me, that is who I AM at my core, then I’d be accepted for my personality. I’ve dealt with severe depression my entire life because of my annoying HSP…but. It. WAS. A HUGE. RELIEF to discover this. I’m OK now!
I was wondering why i felt these ways for so long and now i am finally aware of it
Your Tiktok video directed me here and whoosh. Unfortunately this sounds just like me. The verbal abuse I grew up with from my mother because of it still effects me now as an adult. My life...
I‘m probably in this category as all of those traits apply to me. I spend all my day reading and adapting to others emotions which is great but it means I feel really self conscious of what they think of me or don’t want to cause anyone any struggle or stress. It has caused me to feel a lot of anxiety and have a very low self esteem. 😢
Yes!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
You give me first step, because i very sensitive ....!
Not only the weather change, but also the moon phases, I feel them, please help!
Thank you very, very, very much!
Oh my gosh I'm so glad you mentioned about sharing traits with introverts and people on the autism spectrum. I've felt for so long that I was weird and somewhere in between the two and now I know why!
Resonate so much with this. I find it particularly hard when I have to confront someone, be it a family member or a boss, or even talk about something I feel because I usually feel like the other person has a stronger point, while also assessing their tones, and every aspect of that conversation. I cry often because I'm immediately affected. I pay attention by any remark and process it for months after. In all honestly, it's exhausting and I want to find a way around it because I love when I can put across my thoughts and ideas and have people around me. Would love to heard from my fellow HSP buddies, haha
I'm with you on the HSP team. I was recently "scolded" (pc for bullied) by a dept manager. She finally asked me, "so what do you have to say?!" Feeling as though I had just been robbed of all of my oxygen, I said that I was shocked! She replied,"well THAT makes me even more concerned about your performance!" I felt crushed and to this day wish that I could tell her that my surprise was not based on being clueless! It was based on her horrific skills as a manager. Needless to say, I no longer work there. Letting go of that has been really difficult. It's very healing to have learned that there are HSP out there and it's not necessary to feel ashamed of ourselves!❤❤
Kelles Tex, I know exactly what you mean. I through the exact same experience! I keep thinking that if we we could somehow learn very specific skills to handle those really hard situations it would help a lot. But that is easier said than done. Learning skills like that requires tons of repetition and practice. So I think we would need to learn the skill from perhaps a leadership coach, Or something like that, just as a first step.Then we would need to find a way to actively practice practice practice practice.I almost wonder if we should form a study Group of HSPs. We could role play these hard situations, And practice responding. Then switch roles. I don't Know how to find other HSP's so I figure I'll post this Idea here at least and see what happens!
@@lesleybishop1065 hey there, I experienced something very similar recently! And I wish I knew how to deal with it better. Being an HSP in a corporate environment isn't fun I've learnt 😅😅
@@cristinaw.267 oooh yeesss, it takes practise for sure! What a great idea
@@kellestex102 Yes it is Kelles! Not much room for HSPs in the corporate world because it interferes with productivity. Now you're considered a liability rather than an asset. Its, "this doesn't seem to be a good fit for you."
When you understand it , it holds a great power . It can be overwelming . Last week my contract has been wrongfully terminated by my employer , it took me a couple of days to calm down my emotions , to the point that I did not sleep for a day or 2 . But now I know why .
This was wonderful knowledge! I’ve always found myself to be highly sensitive even when I didn’t want to be but I find that it’s a trait that helps me be more in tune rather than out of tune with the universe. The trick is finding others who appreciate and understand my sensitivity.
I love your book! Everyone needs one. Thank you for helping me dismantle and comprehand my traits.
While I appreciate the positives traits, I hate how overly stimulated I get & how quickly it happens. It feels like my brain shuts down. Can’t even have simple conversations. It’s exhausting. Wish I could turn it off sometimes.
This happens to me! I withdraw from meetings etc because it’s too much
As a former smoker, this resonates a lot. I used to use a smoke break as a way to step back and analyze. Eventually I would come to the conclusion I may be reading too much into the situation and "cool off."
Everybody should get a smoke break even if they don't smoke. We used to call it a joke break. Just getting outside in the open air for 10 mins helps to clear the mind and refocus your thoughts.
Well yes I am very sensitive, issue is that my upbringing and childhood has been full of trauma so still having multiple PTSDs and for the longest time I thought is something wrong with me, then being very self aware I realized that is fine to be both creative and logical, while being sensitive, is not an issue but is just how I am, so I have learned to be more in control of vast information I get every day while continue to care and serve people in my life, and yes is true, I do love cleaning the house as a way of recovering from stress and also going for a run helps clear my head.
Wow, I never knew there was a way to describe me. That’s so me. Really interesting. I always thought I was weird or wired wrong. Now I know I’m not. Thanks Dr Julie
I’m so grateful for the wisdom that comes with age. I’ve always felt like a fish out of water. The difference for me was EMDR. Plus, my spiritual journey has taught me to be the observer. Thank the stars I’m not broken anymore. Lol
EMDR?
You were never broken
I'm definitely an hsp. I was bawling my eyes out when my sweet cousin, Joi, passed away almost three weeks ago. I know we saw each other a lot when we were younger. I was a pre-teen and she was a kid but I always thought she was a silly goofball and a lot of fun to be around. As we grew up after my maternal grandparents passed away all of our families only saw each other twice a year for thanksgiving and Christmas. But I still cared about all my family members especially her because I really liked her. She was a really nice, wonderful person and it hurts like hell that she's gone.
Also, I get upset when I watch the news because most of it is depressing. That's how I know I'm an hsp.
Dr. Julie, where have you been all my life? I'm in tears, it is like you made this video for me. I'm so glad I was guided here.
I've always been highly sensitive and always wondered what was wrong with me. Have been told regularly from being a small child I was 'too sensitive'. Everything you've talked about resonates with me. Feeling tearful in a positive way (wish I knew this years ago) that at the grand age of 66 there is nothing wrong with me. This even follows an event a few evenings ago where I felt I 'didn't fit in'. I didn't and I'm not putting myself through things any more that are overwhelming to my sensitivity. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. xx
You reminded me how as a child my dad said I was thin skinned.
Me to a tee. I have spent my life feeling like something is wrong with me. My controlling sisters constantly eat me up and make me feel awful, "oh, Pammy, you are so sensitive".
I have realised that this almost exactly describes my life. Having been adopted in 1961 and born with the 'Primal Wound' , from a very young age , even though I did not 'know' I was adopted , I instinctively knew something was 'wrong'. I could not relate easily to so many other children and people. Unfortunately my adopting parents were not particularly sensitive having experienced many traumatic situations themselves and so they simply could not comprehend the seemingly 'trivial' sensitivity that I was experiencing. This just made things worse and my life has been broadly characterised by ongoing troubles , events and mistakes.
Luckily I have found this truth inside myself and have put it to much good use in many ways. But it is often a roller coaster ride.
This video was really helpful, as I’ve never thought about myself in exactly these terms, but it’s definitely me. All my life I’ve been described as shy, quiet, thoughtful, introverted, even anti-social and all those things are true (as well as being smart, caring, artistic, clever etc); but it’s so much more than that. Even at a physical level I just feel like I’m wired up so everything I see, hear, think and feel is turned up to eleven, and sometimes that’s helpful and other times it’s not. But it’s great to hear that’s it’s just my baseline and not that there’s something ‘wrong’ with me!
This video lit up so much inside me as if I am seen in a much better light. I felt so validated. This will be one of the many ways I will be able to understand myself better when all I ever did was think that "there must be something wrong with me".
Childhood was so hard for me. Pathetically shy, ADD self diagnosed as adult and so hard on myself. I always felt different from everyone and just wanted to feel better about myself. School was where I felt most exposed. Could not grasp concepts as quickly as others. Medication helps in my adult years. Wish I knew what I had when I was younger. Super sensitive for sure. Judging myself never seems to go away.
Hi Julie. I can totally relate to this video. My mother always told me I was too sensitive and this made me feel inadequate. I have to fight to get her and my mother in law to realise I could cope with the ups and downs of life. I might be sensitive but I am not a wimp. Thank you. 🌺🌺
Listening to this totally validated me, especially me as a child. Thank you.
I just got rid of all but one of my friends because I just couldn't handle people and feeling their emotions anymore plus everything else I was feeling and dealing just myself. It just got too overwhelming. The one friend I kept is a sweet, quiet, gentle elderly lady that lives a quiet life. We text encouragements to each other pray for each other and our "hang out" time isn't going anywhere or doing exciting things. It's just me coming over and us sitting on the couch chit chatting.
I have always overly felt what everyone else is feeling. And large crowds are overwhelming because I'm feeling dozens of different emotions from all the people all at once. People that watch my face when I'm watching a movie or video on my phone think it's funny because my facial expressions change with what the people are expressing in the movie/video. And the thing is I can't stop it. So I rarely watch anything around people because I'm afraid they will notice and think me weird. I overthink everything which makes me mentally exhausted. I feel other people's energy which they have positive energy it uplifts me, gives me strength and feelings of happiness. If they have negative energy it makes me depressed, anxious, tired, or feel physical pain.
i love the way dr julie explains things because she speaks clearly, succinctly and directly. No dilly fallying or superflous words. Straight to the point. I like it.
Have been a HSP all my life. Have always been able to connect and build relationships with others. Everyone opens up to me. Easily exhausted and take on others energy. Pick up on energy in environment. As a social worker- actually feel others pain which has led to feeling the trauma and chronic pain related issues. Need down time alone, quiet, dark rooms to de-stimulate after being around others. Not "sensitive", I am HSP and it is a gift as long as you are able to take care of yourself, set boundaries and take care of yourself. Would prefer not to feel everything, but it makes me good at the work I do. Learning more from videos, Elaine's work to feel less overwhelmed. Lisa, Ontario Canada
I've just recently learned about HSP, and I feel it potentially puts a lot of context to my life.
I have inattentive ADHD and I have associated a lot of my behaviour with that: I cried very easily as a kid and still cry relatively easily as an adult so that I figured was emotional disregulation.
I work slowly, attentively and tend to focus on and get distracted by small details- this really hindered me especially in jobs where meeting certain performance metrics for speed meant I could keep my job or not (but I also have always performed phenomenally in metrics involving accuracy).
Often in my life I've been told I cry too easily by teachers. I've been made to feel naive and even stupid because I was too in my own head early as a kid so some of my textbook knowledge is lacking, and I react strongly to others feelings and to intense situations. I hyperfocusd and learned well things that interested me. Loud noises put me on edge and I used to hide when my babysitter yelled at her kid, and I never knew why. Until now.
This was the piece of the puzzle I've been missing.
I cried when you spoke about feeling inadequate trying to meet the demands of society/work; at every single job I've had in my 15 years of working, I've been told I don't move fast enough. I'm not pushy enough to meet sales. I get too emotionally worked up. But the speed was the real kicker, I've never been fast enough and it's made me feel so broken and out of place and I was always trying new things to meet their standards from sleeping better to energy supplements, etc. I was just getting lost in the details. When quality checking garments I had to check every inch twice to make sure I didn't miss anything, had to make sure it was folded right. When in IT and sales I had to make I covered every potential solution and asked any questions the customers had so they wouldn't have to call back.
I'm a custodian now, and all I have to do is make sure I clean my area in five hours and that works much better for me but sometimes I still find myself being very meticulous with sweeping, etc.
What I actually excel at is detailing. Cleaning something specific for as long as it takes to look sterling.
And art. I'm an artist.
Thank you so much. I have so much to think about.
After reading your post. I understand something about myself too. With the speed!! I try to do things fast but I'm more about details. So thank you for expressing yourself it helped me alot! 😅
Reading this just spoke to me! I am 66 and because I cry so easily it’s always gone against me and now I can begin to accept myself! It’s good to hear that other people do feel like you do. Take care
Appreciate this, Julie! I received an ASD diagnosis at around 7, only to discover that this was not true and that I was highly sensitive (after working with my current psychologist). This was a game changer because I've always been highly empathetic and loved connecting with people/building relationships. I'm planning to make a series of videos on this topic from my own perspective!
hello :) not to here to dismiss your lived experience, but just to say autistic people are empathetic too !
Even too empathetic sometimes... more affective empathy than cognitive empathy for some, but again, it's a spectrumm.
Good luck for your videos !
I love a good argument with raised voices.
Omg! Thank you so much! Finally a video that I can share with my family. I hope that with this information people around me will finally understand... and hopefully will. stop. telling me that I have to be stronger.
Thank you for this, I find my moods are very up and down and this can happen so fast some times and I think it's everything around me that dose it.
It's hard especially as my empathy levels seem high and I really feel others emotions.
As a child I was always called moody and shy. But it makes me good at my job as a carer.
Sensitivity and empathy are two different things. I am very sensitive and have always been, but I am not often mistaken for being particularly empathetic. Sensitivity is strictly the enhanced ability to see the fine details of settings. That can bring out empathy or quite the opposite.
i was gifted with both. sensi athy
its tuff sometimes to be in this world and not of it.
Thank YOU!🫂🫶
So very MUCH! For sharing this information!
I’ve cried since watching it!
You’ve just made me feel.. relieved! & at peace with being me! I’ve struggled all my life as far back as I can remember & hearing you say it just made me cry to hear someone professionally, psychologically talk about it & its positive & negative sides of being a highly sensitive person!
Thank YOU‼️❤️
I’ve always said for a long back as I can remember
“It’s both a blessing & a curse to feel things so VERY deeply!” &
This video confirms why I felt the need to say that!
You don’t know how.. relieved I feel from this video!
So
Grateful
Thank YOU‼️❤️
@Dr Julie
I’m also an highly sensitive person,been suffering from generalized anxiety disorder since five and half years (2017) and also had two episodes of depression(2022-2023). I’m currently on medication since 2019 and also on therapy. I really don’t know what to do,the meds are really bothering me and it has so many side effects.I’m tolerating more than I could ever imagine.
Anyway I just accept it.
I know the feeling
Thank you so much ma'am for such deep analysis on a topic not talked about often. I'm glad that at least we've someone out there to throw some light on this. Really helpful.🙏🏻
I'm definitely highly sensitive and can definitely relate to all you said... thanks so much for sharing this
I am a very sensitive person on the Asperger's Spectrum. My psychiatrist told me the same thing. Life is a struggle but I am learning to control the over stimulation of information in my mind. Thank you for explaining the process so well and for recommending Elaine's book. I think of the reframing process as finding a more beneficial behaviour or reason for a problematic behaviour or situation from our own personal perspective. I have purchased Elaine's book and am reading it. I am learning a lot. This book is a life saver. I can see how I can learn to control the over stimulation of information in my mind and be happier and more in control of my life even though I am surrounded by stimuli that I am struggling to get away from.
I found your advice extremely helpful. I've been sensitive to my environment, people, and events since I was just four years old. Nowadays, many people see me as boring, but as you pointed out, that's just how I recharge my batteries. Throughout my life, people have often confided in me and trusted me with their problems, and I've always been there to listen. Some of the best conversations I've ever had were with elderly people, but unfortunately, most of the time it's a one-way street. I don't have anyone I can turn to when I'm feeling down or sad.
For the most part people see me as shy. I open up depend on the person and topic. When people do hurt me though it takes me awhile to recover and learn to reserve that energy before it goes too deep