MOST Relationships Today Are TOXIC, Here's Why
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
- Feeling like your relationship might be toxic? You're not alone. Here's why most relationships today have toxic elements. From ignoring red flags to prioritizing toxic behaviors, many people find themselves trapped in unhealthy dynamics. It's crucial to recognize warning signs of a toxic relationship, such as manipulation, lack of communication, or emotional abuse. If you're constantly questioning if your relationship is toxic, it's time to take a step back, watch this video and evaluate. Remember, toxic love isn't love at all. Seek support, set boundaries, and prioritize your well-being above all else.
#toxic #relationship #dating #love
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Brandon / @littleghostyofficialtm
Animator: Zuzia
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
What are your thoughts on this topic?
Mid, pretty common now
Something normalized which shouldnt be
A relief to realise it wasn’t _just_ because of my ADHD-driven poor taste in women (the immature and/or narcissistic ones were the most “interesting” & thus always the most attractive to me) that I’ve experienced so much toxicity in my relationships…
Are you south african?
Isn't there a social media aspect to this. If you go on some platforms, there are people sharing one-sided stories and expecting validation. On most occasions, that validation is given to them where after the person in the other side of the story is called toxic.
one of the reasons i think people keep being in a toxic relationship is that they are afraid of being single
with men, its often because leaving will destroy his life financially, forever.
So true
@@michajastrzebski4383 oh this nonsense again
The inverse is true too
And for women, they are afraid to open up emotionally in fear that they will just leave, or cheat.
Better single than with the wrong person
Define wrong person... many people hold out for the perfect person who either doesn't exist or has way better options.
@@Andreas-gh6is I think they meant they'd rather be single than be with a toxic partner ^^
No one in the world is without flaws, so every relationship will inevitably have some level of toxicity. Even people, like yourself, will realize upon deep reflection that they have been toxic in some ways. The best way to handle this is to accept human limitations and strive to improve while acknowledging that others are just as imperfect as you are. Remember, there's a reason why people who are alone often feel unhappier than those in relationships-perhaps because, on balance, being in a relationship is better than being alone..
Study by: Lyman Stone Does Getting Married Really Make You Happier?
shows that people getting together are happier
Summary: Newlywed” happiness boosts are very clear, but even in the longer run, it seems like being married is associated with a person being happier than before marriage.
Good relationship > Single > Bad relationship.
Romantic relationships are overrated.
"There's plenty of fish in the sea"
Yeah, but with all this Plastic Love going around, it's killing all the fish.
😂 this!!!!!
This is such a fire line
But the fish are poisonous
czcams.com/video/T_lC2O1oIew/video.htmlsi=cfe265x5jazMWbmq
Most fish aren’t worth catching
A lot of people use relationships to serve themselves. They don’t consider the other person. This is why many relationships become toxic. Because it all just revolves around one person. When a relationship is meant to be the way in which two people connect.
I agree
Exactly, they search someone to solve their child trauma or being mom/dad replacement or a free therapist or even someone just for their entertainment and other needs that way not accepting boundaries and throwing tantrums.
@@djmj1000spot on
I dated a man who was short tempered, impatient, used me sexually with little to no regard for the negative impact it had on my emotional and mental well-being. He is in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his 19 year old daughter. After a year of tolerating his toxic behavior I became toxic myself trying to get him to take accountability for how he treated me. When I did, he called me the crazy one. I have had to go into therapy mostly to find out why I tolerated it and to get over the way he tried to destroy me mentally and emotionally by eroding my sense of self worth and confidence.
@@djmj1000w
They say “love is in the air” but now it’s more like love is in toxic fumes.
Love is in the smog ☣️
Love is not in the air. Its primarily nitrogen that is in the air.
Wrong. Gas leak.
Love is in the air but the air is polluted.
That shit expired 💀
Toxic relationships are nothing new. People are just more aware of toxicity today and becoming more conscious. The key is being willing to do the work to heal and grow.
Yeah, I was thinking this too. It's like the rise in mental illness. Perhaps there isn't a rise in people with mental illnesses, but because mental illness is now given more attention, we can catch it more often
Exactly. Relationships used to be worse in the past if anything, rampant DV and no ability to communicate...
Domestic violence rates used to be a lot lower. In the past they’ve been increasing actually more and more of the decades go on curiously the most feminist places have the most domestic violence.
@brianmead7556 Women have historically needed to shrink back and comply in order to not be abused. As they are now standing up and speaking out, the domestic violence rates are increasing. That speaks volumes, doesn't it?
@@dianaschramer5065 correlation isn't causation. But it is a interesting observation.
"Opening up". Yeah don't forget your weaknesses can be used against you.
When opening up means you might be giving ammunition for the bad moment, it becomes really hard. Feels like gambling. You either get lucky and opening up improves the relationship or that very moment seals it's fate. I don't think it's anywhere near healthy if you have to worry that even somebody that seems nice and thoughtful could break your heart with the intimacy you allowed yourself to have with them.
@@otaviotisikawa2594 True but they might do a 180 and renege on everything you thought they were. Nothing is ever sealed it seems.
@@Kyruusstatic Might? ... If you've been in more than 3 romantic relationships, that answer will very much be "will".
Nothing like the end of a relationship to see someone morph into a heartless stranger in less than 24hrs. 😂
That's the whole point of opening up, it's about trust
@@cheatorcompletor7884 Trust is a completely foreign concept to those incapable of abstract thinking.
Timestamp!
-0:18 Definition of "toxic"
-0:41 The wrong blueprint
-1:28 All about attachment
(-1:40 Secure attachment
-1:48 Anxious attachement
-2:02 Avoidant attachement)
-2:24 Communication breakdown
-3:04 A lack of accountability
-3:45 Familiarity breeds comfort
i was looking for it thx
Dated this girl for 6 months giving her nothing but care, love, protection, experiences etc. She ended up ghosting me after a small disagreement, never even told me we were breaking up or that she wanted out, never showed signs of being unhappy or lost interest either. We had ONE dispute which was her fault and she shut down and blocked me on everything rather than communicating.
Mind you this girl was the most compatible person I've been with yet and she ended up being the most toxic out of all my exes.
Modern dating is screwed in my eyes, idk if there is a woman out there for me that can change my mind.
I'm so sorry that's been your experience, and the modern dating scene is definitely a toxic cesspool. I'm aroace myself so I'm not actually IN the pool (thank god) but I feel sad and frustrated on behalf of my friends who are kind, funny, genuine people with good communication skills and who deserve loving partners--but it's so hard to find those partners 😭. Like, I *know* they exist, but I think most of the good ones have also seen how toxic the dating scene is and are staying out of it, which means its now so much harder to connect 😅🙃. I hope you can naturally come across someone in a friend group or social setting who ends up being a good person who you'd like to be with ❤. All the best!
I'm sorry that happened to you, sir. I've been through something similar three times. I avoid relationships now. To women it's all a cruel mind game.
Time to get your passport
@@PaulElmont-fd1xc *to assholes, I think you mean 😊. Just like men don't have the manipulative b*tch market cornered, neither have the women--there are many flavors of douche bags, and both genders have them 😉
You probably weren't the only one sadly. Dating is quite terrible for men these days.
A less often talked about reason is that so many are narcissists. They don't love other people, they love themselves are are in the relationships for sex, money, etc, what they can personally get. Its all about them so no wonder the relationship is toxic.
Been there. People date just to get a free meal. For sex, attention, money, but never to know how it feels to give, to make happy, instead of take.
They don’t ‘love’ they have no access to positive emotions, they just want narcissistic supply. Be very very very careful of covert ones- sheep in wolf’s clothing. They often play the victim and will, like a virus implant themselves inside one’s head.
Do you know anyone in a relationship that is with someone who isn't helping financially, s3xuslly, giving scores of help with home chores or building stuff, driving them places, cooking for them, doing child care of kids are involved?
If anyone is with someone who does absolutely nothing for the partner, there is either something wrong with the partner who tolerates this or the person doing nothing will be kicked out.
I haven't had a partner of any type for decades and I've made that choice because I have no desire to end up broke after a long-term relationship again.
I was young, used and naive at the same time. I know the cost of serious relationships and even just meeting new men, and it has never been worth it to me.
Everyone else in romantic relationships are in them for something, even if it is just to not feel lonely.
That doesn't mean all people in relationships are narcissistic. But those seeking or in relationships want something from them, don't lie to yourself.
Women are guilty of this more than men. Women are the ones divorced and marrying up is a woman’s thing.
Honestly, relationships are becoming more toxic than ever, and it's really unfortunate that we've come this low. I hope that one day, we all get better at communication and understanding one another
Actually, I love this comment.
We will probably go the other way. It was subconsciously toxic then, and it's sadism now.
Having in consideration the total lack of education, emotional inteligence and the ever growing pretentiousness and narcicism that plagues the modern world, no wonder why relationships are this toxic.
or just get an android partner, we would help people maybe 300 years from now cause people would have fewer choices cause of lowering birth rates.
They all think along the lines of "There are plenty of fish in the sea"
I agree, having better communication in the relationship
I feel that one of the core reasons why so many people are toxic, is because that’s what’s culturally accepted. Most teenagers are toxic because there friends are toxic, so whenever a ray of sunshine comes, it stops shinning since no one else is shining either
True, it's really sad that this idea of what's "cool" doesn't disappear as teens grow up...
I got that in class one day for answering a question and some dude goes "you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?" in the most rude way he could've possibly said it. That shut me up. The small sliver of motivated I was for class went away with that. People are trash..
@@The54321todon’t change who you are ☺️ remember there’s nothing wrong with you, but everything wrong with the world. The world needs more ray of sunshine’s like you 🫶🏼
@@The54321to yeah,people just disappoint each other...
Both parents grew up in traumatized and toxic families. I now say it is not them, but their unresolved trauma, that raised me and my brothers. ❤
How did you manage to reflect on it?
@@jamesloiz6851I have always been a painfully self-aware person, and with the help of a therapist, am aware of the influence of these dynamics that haunts my family. I accept that I will always make an effort to heal and do better. ❤
Same here. Mine were traumatized by their own parental "role models" and then traumatized as young people by being in the service during WW2.No emotional/affectional connection with either and the mom was verbally/emotionally abusive but I have forgiven them both. Once you take a clear and close look at one's parents' role models (dad's dad and mom's mom) it is much easier to forgive them, stop being resentful, and move on with one's own life.
I personally think one of the issues is that most people don't show signs of respect anymore. No matter how nice and honest you are, most people are pretty rude and dismissive. I don't mean to sound rude myself but i don't think these people need to be in a relationship if they have that sort mindset and attitude towards people. They need to take time to work on themself, so they can learn and grow as a person.
That’s exactly the problem. “Niceness” is different from “kindness”. Kindness includes true and authentic honesty. Niceness may appear like it includes honesty, but like the saying goes, “honesty without compassion is cruelty.” Rudeness and dismissiveness don’t belong in kindness; that’s being “nice”.
@@JustJC5 @JustJC5 I seem to use the word nice alot when talking about other people or myself. i can say i wasnt aware of the difference until now. thank you for bringing that to my attention. Also you make a great point. Nice people come off as inauthentic. While kind people are genuine and straightforward. Now that i think about it a kind person would do you favor, even if you didnt ask theyd most likely help you out. A nice person would make up some excuse but turn around and ask you for a favor when they need it. So to reiterate, no matter how kind people can be, most people these days are.....two faced. i think that can fall under the category of "nice people" as well.
@@justanotherinternetwiseguy8018 Yeah, I agree with you for the most part. I think I would still consider someone that is two faced to be “nice” because in order for someone to be two faced, you have to see both sides; otherwise, calling someone two faced without knowing context of intent would be the result of our own trust issues. Truly kind people don’t really have a negative side, and if they do, they keep it to themselves in some way (I.e. a journal) because they know what is morally right from wrong.
@@JustJC5 i understand your perspective and that makes sense to me. Calling someone two faced without knowing their story shows how someone can easily jump to conclusions and make assumptions about others. Easier to just write down how we feel instead of getting mad at someone for doing something they probably had no intention to do.
anymore? have you seen how toxic and disrespectful the generation of our parents is? they follow manners, but they are very often the exact opposite of respectful.
I am so glad that I am with a girl who actually loves me as much as I love her
Good one😂 youre in for a foul heartbreak pal, you just dont have any idea yet😂
@@anderstermansen130 In a world of uncertainty, I think it's certain to say you are miserable inside to tell that to a stranger that you don't even know.
@@joshy2joshyits honestly a shame that delusional people like you still think love is a real and geniune thing in 2024. People only date to shatter other peoples heart. People dont date for anything remotely long term.
@@joshy2joshy facts
This society most certainly encourages women to betray men.
Modern dating worsens with dating apps, social media, and hookup culture. I can’t deal with ppl dating multiple ppl at once, easily cut you off when you don’t serve their needs, be disrespectful, and constantly dating to find the better person rather than learning about you. Ppl are more than ever struggling with commitment. The ghosting and poor communication. I am sure not everyone is like that, but I am tired of it all. Being single is peaceful.
Yeah. I’ve dated three people.
1) Love was not reciprocated. Dated for a year, she broke up with me and got with my friend a day later. Broke up over text.
2) Cheated on me with two other people, and tried to date me two other times. Stood me up one day. Self harmed and blamed me for it. Broke up with me over text.
3) He hit me a lot. And started to want to get physical. Besides that he was sweet but it just wasn’t working for me.
My parents were kind, they just never told me they loved me.
May God bless you with one more relationship. May this one be a healthy one. I have never been in a relationship. May you be happy together with your love. Don't lose faith in love. Enjoy life.
you cant say that he was sweet if he hit you, that just doesn’t work together.
@@drunkclouds888 That’s not true. He was sweet most of the time.
@AngelDustCakes I see why u have Angel Dust as ur pfp 😭 I hope things get better for u
I went through Hell too. I quit dating and ran away from everything resembling love. But I ran the wrong way and guess what happened? 25 very happy years ago. Now, ironically, I'm indebted to those beasts. They taught me what to look for. If not for the education they gave me, I might not have recognized the gem I finally found.
Social media and dating apps haven’t made things much better. One of the best decisions I’ve made was removing tinder
I moved away from all media except for video content and messaging. People I don't know well can only reach me via phone or email and deffinitely cannot see any of my photos or where I've been.
social media dating is very superficial. I have better chances in real life than looking online.
Through the possibilities of media there is a high possibility to "just meet somebody new quickly" but this leads to many people giving up on relationships to find somebody nouvelle. This leads to many surface-based relationships, instead of learning to grow together and accept minor differences...
This. When meeting seems easy, there is no incentive to stay even at the slightest sign of red flag. Everyone is trying to find if other one is 'red flag' while not caring to become green flag. So what about red flag? Is that terrible enough to hurt someone? People are now looking for a potential sign that could INDICATE the other person might be hurtful so even if things dont turn out hurtful they just leave because of the slightest possibility of getting hurt. They'll never find that all-green-flag imaginary angel they are looking for
Why would anyone learn to grow together and accept minor differences? That just sound way too boring. Nah, dumping the partner at.the slightest inconvenience that happen, thats what love is like, today.
Theres always other people to date, right? So why settle?
I agree. In the past if you met someone, you held on and tried hard to make it work because would you ever be lucky enough to meet someone else? Today it’s just too easy to say “Welp, this idiot sneezes too much. I’m going back to the online catalog to find a non sneezer.”
Social media makes it more toxic
Truth.
Amen this should have been the top comment
It just lets them expose who they are faster, and bolder. In the old days, they'd simply ghost you offline. Never call or write, and sometimes have their relatives tell you off if too immature to do it themselves.
Social media and fake lifestyles have created toxic relationships. Social media has made connecting easier for some people but honestly the world was a better and reasonable place without it
I'm just tired of all the lying. 😢
I think there have always been toxic relationships. I think too many people are thinking things with a glass half-empty, like, “I’m worse than I’ve ever been.” I genuinely don’t believe thoughts like that help. Just be the best version of yourself alone. Embrace positive change. A single, pure person is better than two toxic, broken people. And a single pure person has a better chance of finding another single, pure person. By far.
i disagree, i genuinely like being pessimistic. Why? because when something unexpected happens and it is positive, it gets even better. When its negative, you expected it anyway so it doesnt hurt as much.
@@MuiKaHo weaponized despair
@@MuiKaHo I don’t blame you for acting that way, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. But I try to be a light for other people, and that definitely requires hope. I think that hope helps me and others. And I find it’s a great way to live. Pessimism accepts defeat with no fight because a pessimist is probably tired of being tired. I hope you learn to acknowledge that there are still plenty of things to look forward to. :)
@@dymoure @MuiKaho was right on his own. We can’t blame him. I have a friend like him, and he tried and risk to do everything and accepts whatever the results will be. It sounds like an unusual approach to life but hey it works.
True, superman.
A lot of people get into relationships because they want someone else to fix their problems. What these people don't understand (or do, but choose to ignore it) is that you're sposed to have a relationship with someone to better their life, not bring it down. My advice, learn to live with yourself and do your best to make your trauma as less of a burden as possible before you make the decision to share another persons life. I know this is some crappy advice, but it's enough even if it helps 1 person.
It's not crappy advice, it's so true and I wish someone had told me that 10 years ago. Thank you for telling others now. 🙏
Thank you 🙏🌹
It is not crappy advice but very true and sensible observation. In my whole life I have not seen anyone marrying for love, it is always about money. This is so because one person in the relationship believes money will solve every problem and will keep them happy. A very common mistake.
Not crappy advice. Imagine two people each with their own baggage getting into a relationship. That's a recipe for disaster.
Sometimes. When I have someone I like. I try to make them feel happy. And I work on my own attitude in the process to be toxic as little as possible. But they always take me for granted. Or they don’t reciprocate. So. Shouldn’t they also try to be there for me as well?
There's almost no place in society where accountability is welcome. In legal matters, you cannot admit guilt but still end the lawsuit. If a CEO tells the truth about malfeasance, he can go to jail. You're almost never rewarded for truth-telling, especially if you work for Boeing
Okay that last part made me laugh but yes forcing our relationships to be a shiny new product is probably partially a result of capitalism. Everyone is trying to sell themselves somehow
Was looking for this comment.
Accountability is punished.
Lack of it is rewardes.
This will only escalate.
😂
We live under corporate rule.
I haven't been with anyone in a long time. It's so much better being alone these days.
I havent either. Its been ten years since my last real relationship. Im doing fine alone, i guess...
Same
It feels like a gender war and people are staying in more toxic relationships
As a young man, that’s very true because it’s going to be really hard for me to date a woman. It really makes me feel truly disconnected from my family, friends, & stay single forever because everyone plays the victim & mind games. It also makes me feel depressed & angry too.
But who's fault is it let's see🤔🤔🤔 oh yeah its society's fault any mostly all of the human population who just whine and throw tantrums when dating any gender doesn't go their way. So keep in mind honey its all of you humans fault.
@@jamesjeager129yeah. The invironment we live, is very unhealthy. Parents don't teach their kids to respect the other gender. That's a huge problem in relationships
Edit: and that's another problem when your parents don't respect each other.
@@mymuna4689 you make a really good point & that’s true.
The reality is that there is no gender war, but sides of the same coin who both feel neglected and misheard and misunderstood. Once the civil, solution-based conversations start and respect is assured for all perspectives, we can begin to move forward in society to eradicate some of the mayhem that continues to divide us.
Man, I gave up trying to find a date, I'm tired of the ghosting and people trying to sell me things
its so much worse online.. never ever downloading a dating app
@@HEATHENS5074 Never tried online dating, idk, I just always felt like doing such things irl is the right way, while online feels kind of off, in a sense.
This is the best part where you just give up, and accept to live alone for the rest of your days!
Yeah gave up too but every now and then I get the feeling of „I would really like to experience this at least once in my life and even raise a child with someone“.
@@Alphacat_ Absolutely same. I feel disappointed with the current state of the society, as if I was born somewhere I don't want to belong. Though, not like I want to let it get in the way of my life.
most relationships were always toxic and we all learn to romanticize toxic behaviors
Yeah it's like crime it seems more now but the only thing is that it became more easy to see
Yeah like the trope when someone (usually a woman) rejects someone and they still get together, because "the person tried harder". If someone rejects you, it's a no.
The game also gets played the other way where people (usually women) want the guy to try harder.
It’s been like this for me all my life. Not just with bfs but with former friends I had. It’s sad no one cares about anyone but themselves nowadays.
@@Smethells2023 Well then the USA is doomed to its inevitable collapse all the more so.
True. It's not contained to just relationships. This all applies to friendships as well. After I learned about people and relationships, I ditched most of the people I have ever known, because I realised they were simply using me. Time to make new friends. Though I have no idea how.
I was severely abused by my mother and saw nothing but toxic relationships growing up, including my parents. I dated for a while but then I just decided to work on me for a whole year. No dating, no nothing. My partner is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything and I think that’s the way it should be. My female friends often come to me for advice but it’s the same thing every time. They’re unhappy with something and I always say just SAY SOMETHING. It shouldn’t be a big deal just to have a conversation with whoever you’re with. Then I see my best friend who’s a guy and girls just jerk him around. Let him pay for everything, make him think it’s going really well and then ghost him out of nowhere
I was verbally and emotionally abused by my mother growing up to where i developed anxious attachement and avoidant attachment. I would never let people close to me becsuse i never wanted to be hurt. I eventually met someone years later that was very patient with me and was the first person i willingly let in. I found out i had attachment problems through him when i woild constantly seek reassurance from him. I started trying to work on myself because i love him and eventually sought therapy when I realized that i couldn't fix my problems by myself and i was developing bad coping mechanisms. Now i an 6 months pregnant with a girl and i told myself that if i had a child that the abuse stopped at me
I am so happy for you, that kind of development takes guts. Bravo 👏👏👏👏
@@AnneHelms-qd9eg thank you so much 😊
Ur story is identical to mine
My parents died when I was young. My dad in a workplace accident when I was 9 and my mom from Cancer when I was 15. Because of this I've developed abandonment issues, have trouble trusting though I also tend to open up far to easily to people undeserving. Also I tend to hold on to the people I can let into my life, like that life itself depends on it.
Jeez, you've had it rougher than most.
Sorry you went thriugh that, wishing you good things to come. 🤜🤛❤️
I’m sorry. I’m sure they loved you very much. I’m a new mum of two and if god forbid something happens to me, I want my children to know how precious they are to me, in this life and the next! You are a miracle.
The human population is growing at a rapid rate and the amount of toxic relationships I’ve witnessed is frankly scary
Yes
To be perfectly honest, “sweeping it under the rug” and seeking security in assumptions is genuinely how 99.9% of young adults seem to “communicate.” 🤦♂️
I genuinely feel like I have no idea where I stand with 90% of the people around me.
Also, it is in popular media to highlight everything that is toxic, and shun it. What might be better is to confront these behaviors, talk about them with the persons involved and understand where everyone is coming from. Toxicity is a cycle that takes communication and honesty to break. Just labeling it and moving on doesn’t really help stop it from happening.
You love a person for their flaws, not their virtues. If this isn't possible, then you're with the wrong person and likely in a toxic relationship.
Pretty underrated. People try to change their partner and it never works. It's almost like we should actually know who they are before marrying someone or having kids.
@@moorbish Often people deliberately ignore the negative aspects of their partners until they're affected by said traits.
I just wanted to share that I've been in an anxious attachment style for as long as I can remember. But here's the thing - I'm getting better. For anyone stressed and worried about repeating old patterns and such, just know that it truly is possible to heal. I'm living proof. If I can do it, anyone can
It always suprises me on how early on I realized not to replicate the toxic behaviors my mom exhibited (she had an extremely rough, confusing, and manipulative upbringing).
Like, for some reason my moral code was to help others prevent experiencing what my mom and I did.
Therefore, Ive observed and learned how to have a healthy relationship with myself and others.
It is my understanding, that people who experience toxicity from young age can observe how not to do things and thus become more responsible in treating their traumas, not spreading them.
Some of them don't. Some just escalate it and spread it. I'm not sure why. It's so sad.
I got depressed when i was 11 years old. Ever since then, i've had trust issues. It's only now that i've learned to trust again, and i'm quite a forgiving guy, i'm also quite easy going and i don't hold grudges. I'm not angry that often, despite having autism and ADHD. I'm just not able to find the right people. My parents didn't help me with my depression until i was 17, about to turn 18. I don't know why everyone i'm in a relationship with always ends up dumping me. I guess the people i've been in a relationship with weren't the right ones for me.
I honestly don't much care if i die forever alone, because no one wants to be in a relationship with me, but then, i know happiness comes from within, and not from anything else. I still try to live my life to the fullest, but i do feel quite lonely, and i don't know why everyone ends up breaking up with me. I don't know if i'm doing anything wrong. It always ends up with me getting stabbed in the back, over and over again, and it always leaves me hurt, and i'm way too used to being treated like that
So maybe I am only a stranger in the internet you dont know but I can tell you one thing. Stay strong and keep going, I believe in you soldier!
Honey I feel the same way. You’re just meeting the wrong people. There’s someone like you who’s sincere to others, like me! So please have faith in life. Rooting for you! 😊
I wonder if relationships have truly gotten worse or if we’re just more acutely aware of how bad people are at relationships now bc of social media.
I think a lot of people enter into a relationship not to connect with the other person and help them grow, but to use them for sex, status, emotional/physical labor, childbearing, etc. And when two people try to use each other, it never ends well. A relationship requires a love ethic, and many people don’t have one.
THEY HAVE!
I think it’s the latter with social media, too.
You make an interesting point - I've noticed a similar thing with friendship. People don't seem to want that kind of connection with others where you learn from each other and as a result you can both grow. Rather, the search is more for someone with the exact same interests/views... I understand that if your values are too different you probably wouldn't (and sometimes even shouldn't) develop a relationship with this person, but it seems that this has been taken to the extreme nowadays.
My brain after watching this: You see everything you do is wrong. This is why we must isolate and live under a rock because any emotion is bad and could be viewed as toxic. Even you listening to me right now is toxic. Your existence is toxic. Yup I get it brain I get it. Sometimes I think people listen less to each other and more to social media that doesnt give the right information alot of the time.
This makes so much sense. I struggle communicating with my partner and it stems from my communication with my family growing up. Lots of shouting and bottling things up. Always learning and growing 💪🏻
It’s so difficult to date these days to be honest. You can find someone who you’re so compatible with, who you’re going on dates with, who you’re exchanging ‘I love you’ with, buying each other things, cuddling.. and then they can just turn around and become someone else’s partner because you weren’t official. It’s wild to me, and it makes me sad that this is the norm right now. I also find it wild how many people get into relationships that they don’t intend on staying true to.. just stay single then 😭 why u cheating
Cause over generations family size have shrunk or even broken up, especially in the boomer generation often only having one kid. People with both parents being strong and present raising them and at least one sibling are much stronger mentally and have no entitlement problems that often lead to toxic behavior. Problems also if the any parent was absent or weak in the family.
Those people dont search a "partner" but they are in constant search to satisfy their unmet needs and this leads to toxic projections and expectations to their partner cause they are full of insecurities. They are searching for a "mom" or "dad" to heal their child wounds while hurting their new partner throwing tantrums on all occasion the secure person is doing any activity without them.
A partner is not a replacement of a parent, therapist or responsible for your entertainment or mental regulation. Sadly many people exactly behave like this and dont even realize.
Well said
Well said
I have seen many good points in the comments. Wrote a few myself. But you summed all of them up into one coherent statement.
Well said and I agree on all fronts.
Have a nice day.
Boomers are the worst generation ever to have lived
Most relationships these days have become transactional hence tend to become toxic over time. Gone are the days when we used to interact and engage with many people, such as neighbours, casual acquaintances, distant relatives, etc. purely out of goodwill. Nowadays no one makes time for anyone unless they see some benefit out of that interaction. Even though many of us use a smartphone with Apps to connect with anyone across the world, we have become less communicative than we did years / decades ago when we had mostly in-person interactions. In fact, back in the day, I have been in touch with many people over hand-written letters, than I do now with my smartphone. Technology only enables communication, it doesn't create opportunities to make or sustain relationships.
Someone peed in the dating pool, and I refuse to go back in.
so many are afraid of being alone, but once you master the relationship with yourself you have won in life, though it is a lot harder to find a partner when you are authentic and healthy, most people want someone who has shut themselves down.
My father burnt down our family home when I was 16. We never talked about it. February this year, he hung himself. Before doing so, he texted me in reply to a straight out question from me asking him why he did it. He said that he had thought long and hard about the question and could not answer as he didn't know what made him do it. I am 52 years old now. This has ruined my life. However, it has also made me brutally honest, and if I need to talk about something that needs to be discussed, I don't hold back. Unfortunately, most people are scared of blunt, real honesty. Because of this, I am a very lonely man.
It's because we live in a world that forces you to forget about your own needs and always be a people pleaser as if society is afraid of smart, creative, responsible, honest, independent people that can manage on their own without giving attention to society, without letting it influence them, without always asking it for help about everything.
It has always been toxic but people are unwilling to work at it and improve nowadays vs most just accepting it in the past
nah, I hate it when people keep romanticizing the past as if it was great, it wasn't. It was likely even worse in the past but people are just now learning and becoming more aware due to greater amounts of information becoming accessible that in the past were not. It was much easier to keep you thinking everything is great when everyone close by to you that you could ask would lie to your face and you would accept that because you had no other source of information, in the past you didn't have many options so you just had to "accept your reality" a lot of the time, but that doesn't mean you had to accept good things, very bad things too. With fewer options people were also far more likely to stay in toxic relationships thinking that's all they'll ever be able to get with how low the accessibility was.
Everyone is obsessed with their phones. We should put our phones down and talk to each other face to face.
The world is full of introverts and emotionally unavailable people who hide in their phones too.
Not everyone, but lots of people are unfortunately yes. I for one only look at my phone when I'm required to for a specific reason.
You... I think you missed the point.
@@INGIE32
No I didn't.
People have social anxiety or maybe dealing with depressions
I used to cry often as a child and when my parents didn't know what to do they'd dismiss it or leave me alone until I stop (one time I bawled for ages because I was scared of going to preschool for the first time and they were just stood there having no clue how to reassure me. Even the headteacher didn't know what to do) (note: I'm autistic)
Now when I bring up my problems or complain, they would turn the situation to make it about themselves and how they had to go through more than me when they were young.
So now I can't bring up any of my problems to them without feeling ashamed for doing so. Then they wonder why I don't sit and chat with them.
So I have to deal with the problems myself and keep almost everything to myself from them, even how I feel and just pretend to be happy (any other feeling that isn't happy => ungrateful), so I don't feel like a burden to them
That's not to say they're toxic because "toxic" would be an overstatement. They love and care for me regardless
Hello everyone, good viewing🐼😊
@@frutellaorangeidk man thats pretty toxic and they have you thinking they love you? Loving parents don’t do that.
@@frutellaorangeI am glad you can still say that you have the feeling that they love you I don't have that at all
Well welcome to the fucked up childhood club mate honestly some parents think so better than anyone they end up neglecting their kids. But hey they choose to have children to one day torment and point them out.
People are low-key just afraid to be alone, because of that, they enjoy the idea of being in a relationship, but not the actual work and effort that goes into one, so when issues arise because lack of effort, they get angry because now they have to try and please someone else. Pretty painful in the time I grew up in.
Not feeling the title MOST relationships are toxic. The channel has been focusing a bit too much on the negatives and sex. We are more isolative and socially inept than ever. It would help to shine more of a light on the benefits of healthy coupling. I feel it would help many others struggling with the loneliness so many experience.
I honestly fear when making new friends that they'll just use me for things and not actually care for me, so I decide not to make friends except when people ask that, I'm kinda the type of girl who needs a bit of encouragement to be more confident and show my true colors
Same all of my nine friends were just using me to spread rumors about.
I would also say in my opinion, that the reason why relationships are toxic nowadays is bc of what is shown on the media/social media. And what a quote on quote “healthy relationship” should look.
This is so fucking true for some reason, people just suck nowadays
I think it’s more like that it’s easier to find bad people online than good people
But they still are here
the majority always sucked, it's just that with access to greater amounts of information (and having to rely less on lies told by people close to you) you are more aware
Another possibility why relationships have become toxic is because we focus too much on people’s physical appearance and we micromanage things and/or qualities that we find a “problem” with in order to have a “perfect” relationship.
As someome who has never being in a relationship beforebat age 26 despite desperately wanting to, this is so painful. I can't believe love is dying out this way. We really do live in a dark and depressing time.
If you need a spot of hope, one of my best friends has been with her boyfriend for six years now, and they're truly my standard for relationships. They're considerate of each other, have worked hard to build amazing communication, and both respect that the other has different interests. They're two separate people who choose every day to show up for each other, communicate, and do the work to change harmful behavior, all while celebrating each other's achievements - both big and small.
Relationships (and people) like this do still exist, even if they sometimes feel hard to find
@@Izzy-cp8yt I thought I was in such a relationship until hypergamy kicked in. Today, I know about SMV and that only "Chads" are loved. Those guys at the top, that can get many girls, can find a keeper. They also have many opportunities with less desirable ones called sleepers. But, the average male only has those females the Chads slept with and see themselves as settling for a Beta-Bux$. The men at an SMV of 4 or less (so called Sub-5's) get nothing and must do things like Pa$$port and support half a village or go to bars on the billable hour.
There are more people than you think who haven't been in a relationship yet at that age. I know several myself. My ex was 26 when I met him, and had never had a relationship before.
@@Izzy-cp8yt Yeah but people who are like that are 9/10 times already in a relationship. And I wish them the best they probably worked hard to get there tbh.
@@jackedup447 they did work hard, but a lot of it was there from the start - for one of them, this is their first relationship. It was only because of how much they care for each other that they were willing to put in the work to learn and grow together.
The first point is why I used to be wary of being a parent. My mom had a very strict mindset and, knowing a little about how the brain works tells me I might do that to my kids unintentionally.
Since it's me in a relationship, I can police myself and prevent it from causing trouble for my partner, but a kid is more vulnerable.
I finally got over that hurdle believing my wife would be a help in tempering that part of my upbringing
It’s always been that way. It’s just harder to hide it now.
I started dating my boyfriend a little bit ago and all I can say is that our love has grown everyday since. I actually found someone who loves me the same way I love them ❤️
I'll just stay single. Much easier that way.
True.
@@LoneWolfOnyx98 It's nice to finally find someone who agrees.
@@Hitherto90 Honestly relationships are pointless now, a lot of people use others for hook ups and nobody is serious anymore.
@@LoneWolfOnyx98 Indeed.
only 40% of men left offspring throughout history, most men are born to die alone, we are one of them
I hope there actually are some less toxic people out there....
Here's the obvious inside: In today's world, we have more knowledge and now know that certain behaviors are actually toxic, so technically they've always been toxic, It's just that now we can recognize it.
Finally, someone acknowledges this.
Thank you for addressing this topic! Much needed. It’s the challenge of our time almost
"Congrats to everyone Who is early and who found this comment.. 🐼
Here before this blows up
Me
I'M HERE!!
Nothztb3foei3blwozupnevetmz
No
0:42 the wrong blue print
1:28 all about attachment
2:23 communication breakdown
3:04 a lack of accountability
3:45 familiarity breeds comfort
@@noobzito2 lol pardon me I don't saw this
@@noobzito2 you don't own the timestamps babe
😄😅yes that right
@@noobzito2 I didn't put down any timestamps, nor claim to own any, so that's not the gotcha! moment you thought it was.
@@noobzito2 I'd check your grammar and reading comprehension. Also recommend reading up on the definition of narcissist.
I agree with everything mentioned in this video. Every aspect about how the environment in the family affects your emotional developing is something I know well, because even my therapist told me that it's crucial to have an healthy environment in the family, in order to grow up "properly". Unfortunatly, this isn't may case. My parents broke up when I was 6 and living with an overprotective mum wasn't easy. Not to mention the lack of attention about the toxic environment I had to face for 8 years at school, where I got bullied almost every day.
I'm currently 28, and I still struggle in many areas of my life. My therapist helped me a lot during the last year, but I know I still have a long way to go
In every relationship there's an adorer and the other one settles. The thing is less and less people like to settle. Unrealistic expectations.
I fully agree with you. There's always one person who is just always there and present, and the other is just there because the other one wants them to be
I was too focused reading other people’s experience that I forgot to listen to the actual video 🤣
In my case, my mother used to compare me with others and always be on my cousins' side when I was little, she preferred to visit her neighbors and watch soap operas instead of spending time with me. Now she's a true narcissist that gets mad if I don't talk to her, give her attention, ask for her help, don't praise her and don't do what she wants. My opinions, feelings and needs didn't and will never count to her. A few days ago, she even told me that I'm a nobody compared to her, the... she sees on TV and her so-called friends. She makes me sick. Thanks to the... system that creates financial problems to people like me, I can't even move away from her.
All of these signs resonate with me and thank you because I know what I have to do. Unfortunately I have to be alone, but it is necessary for my growth.
I think that in this day and age specifically, there’s a new widespread source of toxicity: depending on social media for contact.
I’m in my 20’s and I haven’t dated anyone. I have not been interested in doing so, and now is the time for me to find friends, or else I’ll be stuck spending all my weekends watching videos and going back to video games. Social media has made it easier to connect to people, present and past, but we all need to go beyond that. There are plenty of people outside my studio to meet with and without my apps.
i’m writing an argumentative essay for an english final and from my research i’ve learned that phones prevent a lot of people from having great relationships. A lot of people are distracted from their relationships by their cellular devices
Anytime my friends, partner, or family are on their phones instead of paying attention to one another, I get very upset. We can't share anymore because people are too preoccupied with the gadgets that they forget to live sometimes.
🎵”Hey, the sooner we realize, we cover ourselves with lies, But underneath we’re not so tough, And love is not enough” 🎵 -Trent Reznor (from Nine Inch Nails)
It’s been like this for awhile, and you’re just now realizing it. Love has ruined my life, but love is all I want/need.
Toxic relationships always existed. It's just that more people are aware of how sh*t humans can be to one another without even realizing it.
People gotta listen and accept differences more. I wouldn't have found someone for me if I hadn't understood, respected and accepted my SO's neurodivergence, and it's been almost perfect sailing ever since.
I think people are afraid to let go of toxic people and relationships because they are afraid of change.
Can you make a video on the topic "how to not become like your parents"
My gosh, this videos is soooo well animated and edited!!
I don't know who said it, but it stuck with me ... "Children live what they learn." The advantage we have is we can always improve, change and grow. 🕊✌️🦋
🎵 With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride. Your toxic, I'm slippin under🎵
🎶 Taste of the poison paradise! I’m addicted to you, but don’t you know that you’re toxic?🎶
Nice Brittany spears reference.
🎵And I love what you do, don't you know that you're toxic🎵
I visited my son and daughter-in-law. There was not one minuet that one or both of them had their eyes on some form of media. The TV is on; the daughter is on her tablet with a video playing; the son is either playing a game online or on his phone. Any conversation is over at least two audios going at one time. I do not know if I was heard by everyone there once. I've talked to them about it with no effect. Modern life? Sounds more like detachment syndrome to me.
Leaving my toxic parents 8 years ago was the best thing that happened in my life. I learned the true colors of love, I'm not afraid to cry now and I feel confident.
Ego...it has become bigger and meaner in relationships today. Define it as me-first feeling. It creates conflicts and emotional distance.
Well, i can relate to this
So, connected to this video, could you maybe make a follow up one with tips on how to be smarter about choosing your relationships? Or how to work through our differences?
Amazing content, as always 🙌
I did not expect this video from this channel. I like it.
Is avoiding child support considered as "toxic"?
I fail to see how that's any different than in the previous decades... except maybe that rape and violence in a marriage was legal, and divorce impossible not so long ago.
6 women go after 1 chad, he uses all 6 bodies then dump when one get a child to find another for his harem, just like in the begining
6 women go after 1 chad, he uses all 6 bodies then dump when one get a child to find another for his harem, just like in the begining
@@nickem6556 that sounds suspiciously like what an Incel would believe... but it's really not the case. The women that go after "chads" (whatever that means ...) have just the same casual dating mindset. Why would they settle for a lesser man? It's not like they have any benefit from having abysmally bad sex with a loser. If you don't find a woman, it's all about your mindset and qualities as a man. If you want to date like the chad, but are actually a loser, you'll have issues....
The timing on this one was ON point 😭😭 Just about the other day, I had a very hard conversation with my mom. I opened up to her about the problems with our family. I was bottling up my struggles for a long long time and I broke down. Thankfully we made an agreement and communicated well. This video basically summed up the toughest day of my life, so thank you so much😭😭
I'm glad to hear that the timing was helpful for you :) It's incredibly brave of you to open up about your struggles with your mom, and I'm glad to hear that you were able to communicate and find some resolution. Remember, it's okay to lean on others for support during tough times. Is there anything specific you found helpful during that conversation with your mom?
Another problem with toxic relationships is with the fact, that you have to remember, that your partner deserves all that, too. Yes, there are a lot of cases where one hurts the other and the other way around - but you still need to see it from their point of view - just as you want them to see your view. Situations are more often grey than black or white.
We are not always the victim - and should look at ourselfes, too - before being sure about it and calling the other one toxic.
Don’t get me wrong, your voice is not bad at all, but I miss the original woman’s voice so much
Literally no one wants a relationship nowadays. Hookups are all on top. Fun only to open relationships.
Toxic ones are common as that other person after praising you, wanting nothing but you doing for them and you feeling shaming for your traumas and negative parts.
Many are even in "open relationships"
no one cares for your sadness to traumas just the good that looks "good"
Damn you know I kinda relate with the communication breakdown part.
Because for most of my life I have had to keep secrets and lie about how everything is fine even though it's not. And it's because I always felt like nobody actually cared about me and my problems even though I had friends that were willing to understand were I was coming from.😥
I think that there is a fine line between toxic and problems. Problems can be worked out. Toxic can not be worked out.
I think people just stopped pretending as much.