Idgaf if he blocks me. I actually prefer it. I have spiraled texted overtly and I get emotionally sick dealing with this. So ignore me so I can forget about you
My experience with them is they love the hot and cold game, because it always keeps you guessing. It's all about control. I've been sitting back and just observing others lately, and I'll tell you, there are sooo many people who pretend to be who they are not, and have many of the narcissist traits. Seems much of humanity lives in ego and yearns to control others. I strive each day to maintain balance and stay grounded, and put old cycles to a rest.
@@Divinely_Guided444 they think that ish is NORMAL! When people say “every relationship/marriage has its ups and downs” they think you dealing with what they‘ve put you thru is just part of the ups and downs!😵💫
They get exposed and and play the victim to others as though they did everything correctly and they are just shocked that you even had enough nerve to complain after all they did for you. They will play the victim when they get exposed
100% Been ghosted hundreds of times because of perceived loss of control with absolute unbelievable rage. The voice it takes away from you in the relationship is devastating.
The breadcrumbing is awful...he's now ghosting me....its been 3 weeks. Its difficult..I want to ask why but I know that it doesn't matter what he replies...at the end of the day, its the same crap cycle, all over again. He's an awful human being, doesn't matter how he tries to justify himself.
I’m finally at THE point in my journey of healing that I can say with all honesty…I could not give a “F”! Divorced/No Contact x 3 years/Peace of Mind and Heart - Thank You Lee!
Ugh…you’re right. He started ignoring and becoming more distant then discarded me out of the blue. It sucks really bad. He never said he was dissatisfied about anything at any time. So cowardly.
If they rage out on you and you remain calm, or you politely confront them with proof of lying or cheating and keep your cool they will just up and leave…… mumbling horrible things on the way out…… The shame straitjacket drives them insane…. When you aren’t fooled by the tricks they can’t even look you in the eye. Shame overwhelms them.
🤣 it's not funny but that's where I'm at with my situation I can't help but laugh... his feelings are valid 🤔 but I'm wrong or lying or it can't be true whatever I'm talking about lol
@@denisekinnison2965 and whatever they say is TRUE, and they’re NOT lying and they are NEVER wrong AND they don’t have to prove it cause your feelings don’t matter🙄 the double standard is WILD! And you’re right it NOT FUNNY it’s mind shattering 😵💫 but if you don’t find a way to laugh about it here and there you will loose your sanity 😂😮💨
You just described the past five years of my life and the recent reverse discard 6 months ago after a 40 years of marriage. He found a replacement a year ago then in March ‘24 refused to get rid of her and instead suggested an “open marriage”! I filed for divorce and threw him out of the house and he had the nerve to yell “why are you doing this to me?!!” I said “are you kidding me?”. He’s a covert (not diagnosed that I know of). He started therapy only AFTER he discarded me, he says for HIM, not for her… but he wouldn’t do it to fix OUR problems. He just didn’t want me, period. You are 100% correct.
My last narc who discarded me recently was offended because I put broccoli in his salad ( not knowing he hated broccoli) , and he also got offended because I bought frozen vegetables, he said "I make $250k, I want REAL vegetable like at the nice restaurants I eat at, not the frozen ones!! " I'm a country girl where your grandma would can or freeze vegetables from a garden to have them year round. I explained that to him, but he didn't get it. Never date a wealthy man, they look down on you.
My ex narc felt disrespected once when I went to a family members house that he didn’t like so he didn’t say it. He ignored me for the entire day and most of the next. In the evening I started texting paragraphs 🤦🏻♀️ and he just said it’s fine I’m not ignoring you just busy. Came out weeks later he was actually mad about me going to my family members house. Looking back I see so many little manipulation tactics that he used on me. It’s insane
I told the narc i was with he was being distant and he COMPLETELY SNAPPED. I mean he let his dark side out. I couldnt believe he responded that way simply because i said he was being distant. Sad and sick
You aren't allowed to say NOTHING to those blockheads. Just silence. But then he has the nerve to intimate to others that I am dynamite in a small package? How can that be? When he never even allows me to make a peep when he's having one of his epic rage rants. If I DARE to show any signs of a backbone he threatens to kill me. I'm not kidding either. He does this almost on a daily basis and I have been with this man for almost a year now. He's described umpteen million different ways he would do it if I dare tell on his ass to anyone about who he really is behind closed doors.
I re blocked narcissistic former friend dude today finally, yay. He tore up my brain and spirit. I recently ran into him after 4 years (I suspect orchestrated by a mutual acquaintance) when I had him unblocked, and I spiraled bad. I literally got sick, my brain went haywire and made me convinced I was sick. Fevers the whole nine yards. I’m good now, I’m focusing my energy as showing up as bright light ME from now on, no fear anymore. I definitely got set back but it made me recognize the healing I can continue with. Never again will I unblock him because I think I’m being “civil”, but if I see him again I won’t be playin strong silent type. Just gonna be real me and let him be freaked out by my brightness all over again. Thanks Lee.
I deal with a Leo, two in one, laud and silent...He puts me on wait every month, now we didn't see eachother like 2 months, and he's in and out and did me wrong and now turned that on me, because i am not respectful and good to him like 2 years... 😮 and he said it is all my fault because we have fights and discussions. I am giving up...I am also in Therapie...It is too much for me..what should I do....
Lee I cant thank you enough for all your work. I hope you get on a big podcast show to spread the word about your work. HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of ppl need your insight and direction. You've helped me so much. Thank you !! 😊
I love to be ignored by him, it’s a pleasure and I remind him when he opens his mouth that I prefer to be ignored. lol I never call him unless I want money! lol I don’t like his family, so the more he complains about me, I love it because they don’t call me, perfect! lol When he lies, I lie! lol When anything wonderful happens for me I write it down for him endlessly. lol I love myself and let him know it! lol I love myself and I do because I should AND SO SHOULD YOU!❤
They do ignore you to make themselves look good because they were told to and also just to make themselves look good in front of all the others. Hi again Lee Hammock. I am still trying to watch all of your videos. 💟
I have had experience with two evil, criminal ones. Lying, cheating, gas lighting, bread crumbing, manipulating, deceiving, preying upon, breaking the law. I don’t know how to ever recover from the mental devastation they inflicted.
Yessss! He said I left when I found out he had cancer. I left because he had other women in our home talking bad about me, so I left . Let her take care of you . She is the so call play daughter now they are dating..
Its so hard to tell if they want you to chase after them or to actually stay away when they do this. Sometimes you chase and they give in. Sometimes it goes the other way then you learn the hard way and things get worse. Then comes the day they actually mean it and will wreck your life just becsuse you havnt given up on them. Other times you may so ok whatever and then days later they act like nothing happened.
I knew why I was ignored I wasn’t ready to talk about a situation & I got ignored but naturally me being myself when he tried to contact me he was blocked from everything 😂 Naturally reversed don’t play with me I didn’t even know he was a narcissist at the time & still blocked no contact 7 months & counting
My narc ex ignored me because i exposed that she cheated to her friends and family. She came back a few times every few days to continue conversations about her cheating, during which she said "If i remember more example of me cheating in the past, then I'll share them witb you". But she never did come back and even blocked me after I confronted her about never returning. Since then, no word. No doubt shes runing away from having to be held accountable and having to confess her infidelity, which we agreed was neccesary and deserved for both our healing. She chickened out. Damn you Alessia....
@@DanceChickaDee yup exactly. Even tho I had a screenshotted confession from her early on in the relationship about cheating with a masseur, who she allowed to massage under her panties; but in her mind that never counted because of a chronic pain issue. Then even recently, I obtained screenshots/confessions from multiple random guys who shared that she flirted or acted inappropriately; like going swimming at the beach at night with 3 guy "friends" while wearing a tight dress, which got wet and had the shoulder straps down in the picture.....some very bizarre and evil situations. She asked me to show her the screenshots and name the guys, because, "I could just be making a false accusation in order to get her to confess". I denied her and said it's not her place, and for her to just know that I already know. Only that I wanted to hear it from her mouth to end the lies and hiding. Ima blow up her spot even more now. Everybody will know. Call me petty but ain't nobody does me dirty like that 🤷🏽♂️
Me realizing I'm falling back into this😢 thank you for talking about these things. I'm currently going thru some things and these videos are always spot on
I think the biggest reason a narcissist ignores and disregards someone is because they feel guilty about things they have done, and being in that person's presence triggers the guilt. They have to convince themselves that you're insignificant so they don't have to process their pain and guilt.
My ex expected me to just know it was over when i went days later after i was belittled etc through msgs. I was trying to work through and resolve while apparently she was just thinking about herself and not how i felt for days.
Guys, how to handle the fear of being seen, heard or bump into someone the narc smeared you to? I'm afraid to go in public because I'm paranoid I bump into someone the narc smeared me to, I just feel so disgusted, eventhough I didn't even do the things the narc accused me of. He didn't say I cheated or that I'm bad or anything like that, I broke it off with the narcissist, he then begged me to come back and 'stalked'. He got ashamed and then accused me of stalking him. I have the evidence that he actually stalked me but no one wants to hear me, now I actually feel like I did because that is what others see. I'm afraid to speak my truth, no one wants to hear it. I'm now hiding in shame
Please don't be hard on yourself. Your feelings are validated. It's a phase and it will pass. Chin up, wear on your self esteem and care less about what anyone says. Whoever believes the narc without listening to you was never a friend. Count it all joy that this experience has shown you who's loyal and who's not. My mother slept with my husband, broke my home and launched a smear campaign in advance that I suffered mental disorder. Little did I know that she used that narrative to prepare people's minds and perception about me incase I catch and report her for her heinous crime. Out of numerous friends and family members, only 1 person told me what she's been saying and why everyone ran from me. It's their loss. I refuse to argue reality with anyone and so should you. Peace be unto you❤
Look up how to deal with toxic shame by professor Vadkin who also makes videos about psychology & dealing with narcissistic abuse. You need to work on yourself, heal yourself & be kind to yourself & forget about other people or worrying about other people & work on healing yourself ok?
When they do this about the ghost, disrespect etc they blame you for being controlling of anything even if it was to do with a personal choice that didnt effect them. But some how it ends up about them and your the problem for everything going wrong in their life.
The Narcissist to me is a complete Nobody. I Give ALL the Praise and Glory to The Father SON and HOLY SPIRIT. Amen. Narcissist needs deliverance. End of . Seriously. WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT THE LOOK 👀
YEP! But when they discard and realize you're really NOT coming back lol 😅😅😅😅 TRICKS ON YOU DEVIL!!!! NOW HE'S SITTING CONFUSED AND WONDERING 😂😂😂😂 AIN'T NO FUN WHEN THE RABBIT GOT THE GUN 🤷🏾♀️
I was told “ugh I really don’t want you at my party…. My friends are going to be there”…. Then when no one showed up he called me and asked where I was?! The bang at the end was him telling me (for 3 weeks) that I had ruined his bday! I started believing it😢 I doubted myself for so long
@@mariapena9157 this..... You will forever be the ruiner of birthdays but they could give 2 craps about yours..... 🤦🏽♀️ and he has to blame you cause he‘ll have no one else but him thats responsible..... just ask yourself how could you ruin something that never happened? No guests means no party🤷🏽♀️
I disrespected him because I didn’t agree with him that his kids were being kept from him (he hasn’t tried to see them) and yes he should pay the child support that was owed to his many children!
Disrespect hahaha like whatever I don't care anymore these people are a joke & very immature in their mind playing games. I keep saying to myself he disrespected me. In the end it's their loss eventually that guilt & shame will catch up on them. I don't chase people that use & abuse me. I threw that trash out a long time ago.
He discarded me after 24 yrs. of marriage with 4 teens. He did this 1 month before I graduated from college with my AA degree. (I went back after 17 yrs. I homeschooled my children for 15 1/2 yrs.). One month before our oldest daughter graduated from high school. 1 month before the end of the school year & beginning of summer. But most importantly, 1 month from him deploying out to sea for 8 months. I believe this discard was a dear Jane letter so he can feel guilt free for the behaviors he was about to enact while away. By the way, he did not attend my graduation. Yet, I set it up for my entire family & some of his to cross states to come to his graduation in 2006. SMH. There was no major accolades nor big congrats to me either. It was almost a very matter of fact reaction. 😮
I am so sorry you had to go through such a difficult time. You absolutely deserved to have your hard work celebrated. I can imagine after being with him so long, you knew YOUR accomplishments, would never be truly recognized by him. He would find a way to bring you down, or at the least, let you know… you are truly not that special. I have been with my narc for 27 years… our boys are 25. My son revealed to me last month (on his birthday) that him and his brother day dream about me leaving their dad and me meeting someone who treats me good. This conversation has stuck with me and I know it is long past the time of me getting my dignity back and leaving. I have tried 7 times to leave and each time I am bullied, manipulated, threatened or just gaslit back into the bs. I pray you find the strength to never look back. You and your children have always deserved better. The new woman will eventually see the light, but honestly no one deserves to be in the company of these demons. No human deserves to ever encounter the demonic energy that lives within these earth walkers. They are pure misery, sadness and rage. Congratulations on such an amazing accomplishment ❤❤❤❤ Your loved ones must be so proud of you!
@@Melli6000 That was so beautifully said and all of your sentiments and comments touched my heart. With what you shared, I can tell that we can relate in so many aspects of our marriages. You spoke truth without even knowing me nor the details. I’m so sorry to hear how your boys feel and it being a reality you are facing, including the horrific situations these personality types have manipulated us into. I can relate to the tug of war of that trauma bond. In my case, the discard is fresh. He has done something similar in the past, but he just walked out on 4 April. However, when he was unempathetically and apathetically delivering his fiery darts of discard, although I had the pit in my stomach and my heart was dropping, I too, had a sense of relief pouring over me. A relief that I would no longer have to deal with this mind bending marriage. A relief that I would no longer have to fight anymore. In that moment, as much as I’ve been forgiving him and standing for our marriage and waiting on God to deliver us, I knew, it was going to be over regardless of what came next. I am still in great pain. My world has still been flipped. I still feel like I’m in a living nightmare when I awake. I still feel the reality of my entire future plans, dreams, and goals having been robbed from me, but I am done. If I could have it my way, I’d never see nor talk to him ever again for the rest of my life. I do have to continue to interact with him though because of our teens and because I still handle everything at the house and he’s deployed. I have not spoken to him since 5 April and all of our communication, by my boundaries, have been through text and email. I’m as no contact as I can be. I’m being supported by my mom, granny, family, friends, therapy groups, therapists, Dr. Ramani, and more recently Lee. Yes, they are all uber proud. I too, am sorry that you have lived through so much trauma, but you are surviving and those same words you shared with me, I will encourage you to tell yourself the same. Without knowing you, I can tell you are a beautiful woman who deserves the best that God and life have to offer. Your sons can even see it clearly. I’ll be in thoughts and prayers for you and getting your dignity back. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. It meant so much to me to read this tonight. I appreciate your care and time. Your last 5 sentences are bomb.🌹
After 14 years I called him out on his blatant lies. He has said he now just needs to avoid me and not talk to me to keep the peace because I'm unhinged.
1. Disrespect narc (real or imagined!); 2. To regain control; 3. To make you want them; 4. To bring you down a notch (& bring focus back on them); 5. About to discard you. Reasons why narc ignores you😈👺💩
I told him i was out for supper with a friend and he stopped responding and i didnt hear from him for days. That happened on multiple occasions, also when i was out with my mom. One time it was because i took too long showering and he lectured me for 3 hours and then refused to see me. Then was mad because I didnt show up at his house to SHOW him that i cared. Also he didnt like when men talked to me/us. He told me im too nice and im not allowed to speak because im his woman. 😐 It was all so much chaos and highs and lows. It emotionally messed with me.
I essentially said to him that I can’t live in his fantasies all the time. He got really mad and said “ that really hurts. Really really hurts” and I haven’t heard from him for 3 months. I can’t contact him ( I have no intention of contacting him) as he’s blocked me everywhere.
The one and only thing to say to a narcissist is NO! NO over and over, they retreat, try communication again, NOooooo In my experience, he finally got it. However, no two people are alike.
Hahaha the title only makes me laugh so hard. If u don't give them your energy then they are soooo butt hurt. That they do as if you are dead. I don't care no more😅
Will they realize their silent treatment to gain control isn’t making you beg or reverse Hoover eventually? I often wondered if this is what he’s trying but I’m stubborn AF & won’t! Lol
@@hibiscus1974 Hey I know that feeling and feeling so crazy from all the phychological abuse shame and control. I am so sorry your going through this. It's not your fault . The shame goes on them. The exact thing has happened to me. If you need a friend I'm here ok. 🥲💟
Okay, so a narc was interested in me this is my 5th one. But the I am never blinded to the signs! I never get involved with them like that I just be trying to see. However, this previous one I am questioning because we have only talked for a month ( barely) because I would always ignore his calls and I didn’t mean to it’s just he did something that showed he wanted emotional control over me and he’d call multiple times during the day not even considering that I do have a job. He stated to me that he does what he wants ! And if I did call him back he would not answer. I know he is doing to get me back but I genuinely in my heart want to show him my real heart and show him I am a quality woman- but because of all the things he has shown me I lock it away and he gets the non chalant person which is hate to have to be that way, but he is emotionally abusive. He stood me for Starbucks and never rendered an apology just and excuse and then had the right to text me after standing me up …. “ When I want to see your face…. Answer the phone !” Like sir what control do you think you have over here. My brokenness did like the chase it made me feel wanted so my brain got confused … but really he is chasing me until he gets what he wants. He pleaded over and over with me to let me guard down I mean isn’t that something that happens naturally without forcing someone to put them down? Weirdo
Ignoring because of discard and ignoring because of taking the control back and turn the shining are totaly different things - how one can know which is the case?!?
@@svjetlanabrezo334 This is a very pertinent question that all the videos about narcissism make me ask myself again and again. They all talk about the intention behind it, but intention is really hard to figure out. Intention can also easily be denied. If you tell a narcissist that they are doing the silent treatment, they will probably gaslight you and say they only took som time out because you are so abusive. If someone makes you feel really bad i would avoid them. Do not give them any ammunition to throw back at you. My experience is that silent treatment can make you feel sick, but having to decide to go no contact is the most difficult thing ever. Every time you feel bad for doing so, try analyzing what they made you go through, and that perhaps for only a slight offense that normal people would deal with and talk to you about
@@El-bz1tq I am not asking because I need something to know....I deal with them for long time and I know the core of the phsihology of it. I am an expert 😁 I just ask Lee because there i so many videos on the topic and more confusion - is it this or that? I ask HIM because of dialog and discusion.... Thank you for your concern 🧡 but I am kind of narcissistic dragon slayer 😄😄😉 (I am not a "normal" too, but I dont want to be - I love to reject them or play their games and play stupid for some time and then suddenly beat them with their own weapon) Thank you, seriously, but I dont need an advice what to do with them - I will do what I want - just, for psihology sake, I ask what is the difference and how to know which one is truth, because it is so opposite. And...I dont deal with any narc perticular now, so I cant go no contact. 🙂 Sam Vaknin explains a lot about details in their brains, and I love Lee too because its short and funny 🧡
None of these apply to my mother. She’s been stalking me. She’s 78 and is meaner than ever. I’m pretty sure she’s burned all her bridges. I can’t wait for the day she discards me
Can you make a video about triangulation? I figured out it’s another tactic they use and I have a crazy story about how mine did it….anyways to keep it short I figured his tactic out and dumped his ass but he still continues to make other people ( new victims) call me. It’s supposed to make me jealous or something? I really don’t understand. I just want him to leave me alone and stop bothering me.
Every time she ignore she has an other guy she goes cold colder then ice even that hurts. The weeks befor she was great telling how great it was the nexst week nothing no reaction on my goud morning ore my reaction on her photo then I knew she had another guy she says no but I know her enough.
How narcs thinks they gain control by giving silent treatment? I enjoy the silent treatment I receive from my business partner, its sooo quiet and good hahahah How do they think they gain control by beeing silent? Hahahaha
If I caught him cheating ( we aren't a couple and he told me during this years when he knew another woman, but not this time) sent him a brief message that told him about It and blocked him, Is It possibile that he would try to reach me out anyway? He gave me indifference for two weeks, then went to rang my door bell but I didn't open. Could he keep trying to talk to me?
Yesterday it was ‘ I love you pls love me again’.. today he says’ I don’t love you but I’ll be your friend forever!’ I said no and now I’m blocked .. 74 abusive calls littered with gaslighting later..🙄🫤😑
Narcs are the biggest hypocrites in existence!!
It’s ALWAYS about their feelings and respect; yet they completely disregard yours.
You ain't kidding lol
!!
Yep!!😮❤
They’re a loss cause. They think they’re smart .. they hang them selves and they don’t even know what they’re doing.
I preferred the silent treatment. It gave me peace which was the catalyst in helping me to decide to leave. Peace over everything
Idgaf if he blocks me. I actually prefer it. I have spiraled texted overtly and I get emotionally sick dealing with this. So ignore me so I can forget about you
My current situation 😢.
Me too!❤
Me either I'm with you on that gf
In the same boat.... Will not reach out anymore.
That’s why I gotta do the block first so I can force myself to move on! It signifies to myself it’s over! I can’t handle the breadcrumbing 😭
They will ignore you if you tell them the absolute truth about themselves!
@@blah21blah22blah23 yes they don’t like that at all!
Cat got their tongue when truth gets told. Ohhhhh. 😂😂
1.Jealous
2.Envy
3.to Make you feel unimportant
4.things don’t go their way
5.Trying to get in good with new supply or old supply
Better to be ignored than something worse. The narcissist is capable of absolutely anything whatsoever.
@@silentnight3235. Sad but true
If they are malignant oh yes they can burn you while sleeping...no fun@the sleep
My experience with them is they love the hot and cold game, because it always keeps you guessing. It's all about control. I've been sitting back and just observing others lately, and I'll tell you, there are sooo many people who pretend to be who they are not, and have many of the narcissist traits. Seems much of humanity lives in ego and yearns to control others. I strive each day to maintain balance and stay grounded, and put old cycles to a rest.
Too much of the Hot & Cold cycle, and i am out ...
I am not one of those blue coldpacks you can also pop in the microwave.
@@PantaRhei-wz5zn great analogy, lol.
@@Divinely_Guided444 lol ☺
@@Divinely_Guided444 they think that ish is NORMAL! When people say
“every relationship/marriage has its ups and downs”
they think you dealing with what they‘ve put you thru is just part of the ups and downs!😵💫
They get exposed and and play the victim to others as though they did everything correctly and they are just shocked that you even had enough nerve to complain after all they did for you. They will play the victim when they get exposed
Right. Guaranteed and Predictable. So sad. Lools.
100%
Been ghosted hundreds of times because of perceived loss of control with absolute unbelievable rage.
The voice it takes away from you in the relationship is devastating.
The breadcrumbing is awful...he's now ghosting me....its been 3 weeks.
Its difficult..I want to ask why but I know that it doesn't matter what he replies...at the end of the day, its the same crap cycle, all over again. He's an awful human being, doesn't matter how he tries to justify himself.
Ditto!
I’m finally at THE point in my journey of healing that I can say with all honesty…I could not give a “F”! Divorced/No Contact x 3 years/Peace of Mind and Heart - Thank You Lee!
Yessssssssss
Amen!!!!!!
I want to , i still care. Good you made it to this point😊😊😊
Ugh…you’re right. He started ignoring and becoming more distant then discarded me out of the blue. It sucks really bad. He never said he was dissatisfied about anything at any time. So cowardly.
If they rage out on you and you remain calm, or you politely confront them with proof of lying or cheating and keep your cool they will just up and leave…… mumbling horrible things on the way out……
The shame straitjacket drives them insane….
When you aren’t fooled by the tricks they can’t even look you in the eye. Shame overwhelms them.
🤣 it's not funny but that's where I'm at with my situation I can't help but laugh... his feelings are valid 🤔 but I'm wrong or lying or it can't be true whatever I'm talking about lol
@@denisekinnison2965 and whatever they say is TRUE, and they’re NOT lying and they are NEVER wrong AND they don’t have to prove it cause your feelings don’t matter🙄 the double standard is WILD!
And you’re right it NOT FUNNY it’s mind shattering 😵💫 but if you don’t find a way to laugh about it here and there you will loose your sanity 😂😮💨
OMG, the mumbling to himself!! 31 years of that shit, done done and done.💩
You just described the past five years of my life and the recent reverse discard 6 months ago after a 40 years of marriage. He found a replacement a year ago then in March ‘24 refused to get rid of her and instead suggested an “open marriage”! I filed for divorce and threw him out of the house and he had the nerve to yell “why are you doing this to me?!!” I said “are you kidding me?”. He’s a covert (not diagnosed that I know of). He started therapy only AFTER he discarded me, he says for HIM, not for her… but he wouldn’t do it to fix OUR problems. He just didn’t want me, period. You are 100% correct.
My last narc who discarded me recently was offended because I put broccoli in his salad ( not knowing he hated broccoli) , and he also got offended because I bought frozen vegetables, he said "I make $250k, I want REAL vegetable like at the nice restaurants I eat at, not the frozen ones!! "
I'm a country girl where your grandma would can or freeze vegetables from a garden to have them year round.
I explained that to him, but he didn't get it. Never date a wealthy man, they look down on you.
Because they can't grow up emotionally and it's easier to just ignore because they think it'll go away eventually
Out of sight, put of mind. So yes, if they just ignore you, then you don't exist.
@@ginawillis4path of least existence. Avoidance!
My ex narc felt disrespected once when I went to a family members house that he didn’t like so he didn’t say it. He ignored me for the entire day and most of the next. In the evening I started texting paragraphs 🤦🏻♀️ and he just said it’s fine I’m not ignoring you just busy. Came out weeks later he was actually mad about me going to my family members house. Looking back I see so many little manipulation tactics that he used on me. It’s insane
Same!!! Mine did this all the time n most times it was so petty I didn't even kno why
@@SwtnSourEzell looking back he was conditioning me..glad to be out of it..really was hell
I told the narc i was with he was being distant and he COMPLETELY SNAPPED. I mean he let his dark side out. I couldnt believe he responded that way simply because i said he was being distant. Sad and sick
You aren't allowed to say NOTHING to those blockheads. Just silence. But then he has the nerve to intimate to others that I am dynamite in a small package? How can that be? When he never even allows me to make a peep when he's having one of his epic rage rants. If I DARE to show any signs of a backbone he threatens to kill me. I'm not kidding either. He does this almost on a daily basis and I have been with this man for almost a year now. He's described umpteen million different ways he would do it if I dare tell on his ass to anyone about who he really is behind closed doors.
Do a vlog about the quiet narc.
I re blocked narcissistic former friend dude today finally, yay. He tore up my brain and spirit. I recently ran into him after 4 years (I suspect orchestrated by a mutual acquaintance) when I had him unblocked, and I spiraled bad. I literally got sick, my brain went haywire and made me convinced I was sick. Fevers the whole nine yards. I’m good now, I’m focusing my energy as showing up as bright light ME from now on, no fear anymore. I definitely got set back but it made me recognize the healing I can continue with. Never again will I unblock him because I think I’m being “civil”, but if I see him again I won’t be playin strong silent type. Just gonna be real me and let him be freaked out by my brightness all over again. Thanks Lee.
Both are rage. One is internal silent rage. One is external outward loud rage.
@edenjennings Well said!
I deal with a Leo, two in one, laud and silent...He puts me on wait every month, now we didn't see eachother like 2 months, and he's in and out and did me wrong and now turned that on me, because i am not respectful and good to him like 2 years... 😮 and he said it is all my fault because we have fights and discussions. I am giving up...I am also in Therapie...It is too much for me..what should I do....
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Lee I cant thank you enough for all your work. I hope you get on a big podcast show to spread the word about your work.
HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of ppl need your insight and direction. You've helped me so much.
Thank you !! 😊
I love to be ignored by him, it’s a pleasure and I remind him when he opens his mouth that I prefer to be ignored. lol
I never call him unless I want money! lol
I don’t like his family, so the more he complains about me, I love it because they don’t call me, perfect! lol
When he lies, I lie! lol
When anything wonderful happens for me I write it down for him endlessly. lol
I love myself and let him know it! lol
I love myself and I do because I should AND SO SHOULD YOU!❤
They do ignore you to make themselves look good because they were told to and also just to make themselves look good in front of all the others. Hi again Lee Hammock. I am still trying to watch all of your videos. 💟
I have had experience with two evil, criminal ones. Lying, cheating, gas lighting, bread crumbing, manipulating, deceiving, preying upon, breaking the law. I don’t know how to ever recover from the mental devastation they inflicted.
@@VictoriaDiNatale you definately aint the same. Its traumatizing
'Don't leave me.. ' while he discards me..' did you call me?' ( he loved to put me on dnd)
Yessss! He said I left when I found out he had cancer. I left because he had other women in our home talking bad about me, so I left . Let her take care of you . She is the so call play daughter now they are dating..
Its so hard to tell if they want you to chase after them or to actually stay away when they do this. Sometimes you chase and they give in. Sometimes it goes the other way then you learn the hard way and things get worse. Then comes the day they actually mean it and will wreck your life just becsuse you havnt given up on them. Other times you may so ok whatever and then days later they act like nothing happened.
I knew why I was ignored I wasn’t ready to talk about a situation & I got ignored but naturally me being myself when he tried to contact me he was blocked from everything 😂 Naturally reversed don’t play with me I didn’t even know he was a narcissist at the time & still blocked no contact 7 months & counting
oh yeah, that snark & scowl followed by radio silence. yup i got ignored during my birthday.
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I could only be so lucky.
My narc ex ignored me because i exposed that she cheated to her friends and family. She came back a few times every few days to continue conversations about her cheating, during which she said "If i remember more example of me cheating in the past, then I'll share them witb you". But she never did come back and even blocked me after I confronted her about never returning. Since then, no word. No doubt shes runing away from having to be held accountable and having to confess her infidelity, which we agreed was neccesary and deserved for both our healing. She chickened out. Damn you Alessia....
@@TitanTribble they will explain im detail how they will come
clean eventually and that day never comes 🙄😭😂
@@DanceChickaDee yup exactly. Even tho I had a screenshotted confession from her early on in the relationship about cheating with a masseur, who she allowed to massage under her panties; but in her mind that never counted because of a chronic pain issue. Then even recently, I obtained screenshots/confessions from multiple random guys who shared that she flirted or acted inappropriately; like going swimming at the beach at night with 3 guy "friends" while wearing a tight dress, which got wet and had the shoulder straps down in the picture.....some very bizarre and evil situations. She asked me to show her the screenshots and name the guys, because, "I could just be making a false accusation in order to get her to confess". I denied her and said it's not her place, and for her to just know that I already know. Only that I wanted to hear it from her mouth to end the lies and hiding. Ima blow up her spot even more now. Everybody will know. Call me petty but ain't nobody does me dirty like that 🤷🏽♂️
@@DanceChickaDee right and it just be all talk. Whem the time finally comes, there's always an excuse ot they dissapear.
Thank you Lee for all the work you do to give us a look into the brain we are shut out of
I told my narcissist to "shut up" when he was talking over me. He said I disrespected him 🙄
Me realizing I'm falling back into this😢 thank you for talking about these things. I'm currently going thru some things and these videos are always spot on
You got this!
He felt that I wouldn't commit to him, and let him lead me..
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Yeah mine told me that several times. "I TOLD YOU what to do but you wouldn't listen to ME"! 🙄🙄🙄
I think the biggest reason a narcissist ignores and disregards someone is because they feel guilty about things they have done, and being in that person's presence triggers the guilt. They have to convince themselves that you're insignificant so they don't have to process their pain and guilt.
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My ex expected me to just know it was over when i went days later after i was belittled etc through msgs. I was trying to work through and resolve while apparently she was just thinking about herself and not how i felt for days.
Guys, how to handle the fear of being seen, heard or bump into someone the narc smeared you to? I'm afraid to go in public because I'm paranoid I bump into someone the narc smeared me to, I just feel so disgusted, eventhough I didn't even do the things the narc accused me of. He didn't say I cheated or that I'm bad or anything like that, I broke it off with the narcissist, he then begged me to come back and 'stalked'. He got ashamed and then accused me of stalking him. I have the evidence that he actually stalked me but no one wants to hear me, now I actually feel like I did because that is what others see. I'm afraid to speak my truth, no one wants to hear it. I'm now hiding in shame
Please don't be hard on yourself. Your feelings are validated. It's a phase and it will pass. Chin up, wear on your self esteem and care less about what anyone says. Whoever believes the narc without listening to you was never a friend. Count it all joy that this experience has shown you who's loyal and who's not. My mother slept with my husband, broke my home and launched a smear campaign in advance that I suffered mental disorder. Little did I know that she used that narrative to prepare people's minds and perception about me incase I catch and report her for her heinous crime. Out of numerous friends and family members, only 1 person told me what she's been saying and why everyone ran from me. It's their loss. I refuse to argue reality with anyone and so should you. Peace be unto you❤
I'm sorry❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤.
😢I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Me I just don't know what to do anymore 😕 😪
Look up how to deal with toxic shame by professor Vadkin who also makes videos about psychology & dealing with narcissistic abuse. You need to work on yourself, heal yourself & be kind to yourself & forget about other people or worrying about other people & work on healing yourself ok?
@@Analist_altijd_elegance WTF?
Thank you Lee wooooah.🙌🏻🙌🏻💃🏼💃🏼 Embrace your freedom.
When they do this about the ghost, disrespect etc they blame you for being controlling of anything even if it was to do with a personal choice that didnt effect them. But some how it ends up about them and your the problem for everything going wrong in their life.
100% correct!
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@@MentalHealness I third that ! 100%
The Narcissist to me is a complete Nobody. I Give ALL the Praise and Glory to The Father SON and HOLY SPIRIT. Amen. Narcissist needs deliverance. End of . Seriously. WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT THE LOOK 👀
YEP! But when they discard and realize you're really NOT coming back lol 😅😅😅😅 TRICKS ON YOU DEVIL!!!! NOW HE'S SITTING CONFUSED AND WONDERING 😂😂😂😂 AIN'T NO FUN WHEN THE RABBIT GOT THE GUN 🤷🏾♀️
Shits so funny my G , the reverse skit cracks me up . Too on point !😂
I was told “ugh I really don’t want you at my party…. My friends are going to be there”…. Then when no one showed up he called me and asked where I was?! The bang at the end was him telling me (for 3 weeks) that I
had ruined his bday!
I started believing it😢 I doubted myself for so long
@@mariapena9157 this.....
You will forever be the ruiner of birthdays but they could give 2 craps about yours..... 🤦🏽♀️ and he has to blame you cause he‘ll have no one else but him thats responsible.....
just ask yourself how could you ruin something that never happened? No guests means no party🤷🏽♀️
My ex did this to me constantly , ignored texts. I finally figured out , it was a game. I stopped playing the game. We are no longer together
I disrespected him because I didn’t agree with him that his kids were being kept from him (he hasn’t tried to see them) and yes he should pay the child support that was owed to his many children!
Omgosh the teeth part you’re hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😆
Disrespect hahaha like whatever I don't care anymore these people are a joke & very immature in their mind playing games. I keep saying to myself he disrespected me. In the end it's their loss eventually that guilt & shame will catch up on them. I don't chase people that use & abuse me. I threw that trash out a long time ago.
I GET QUIET WHEN IM HURT, THAT WAS JUST ME BABY.👌🏿💯
He ignoring me so bad. I feel bad for him because I really don’t care 😂😂😂
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He discarded me after 24 yrs. of marriage with 4 teens. He did this 1 month before I graduated from college with my AA degree. (I went back after 17 yrs. I homeschooled my children for 15 1/2 yrs.). One month before our oldest daughter graduated from high school. 1 month before the end of the school year & beginning of summer. But most importantly, 1 month from him deploying out to sea for 8 months. I believe this discard was a dear Jane letter so he can feel guilt free for the behaviors he was about to enact while away. By the way, he did not attend my graduation. Yet, I set it up for my entire family & some of his to cross states to come to his graduation in 2006. SMH. There was no major accolades nor big congrats to me either. It was almost a very matter of fact reaction. 😮
I am so sorry you had to go through such a difficult time. You absolutely deserved to have your hard work celebrated.
I can imagine after being with him so long, you knew YOUR accomplishments, would never be truly recognized by him. He would find a way to bring you down, or at the least, let you know… you are truly not that special.
I have been with my narc for 27 years… our boys are 25. My son revealed to me last month (on his birthday) that him and his brother day dream about me leaving their dad and me meeting someone who treats me good. This conversation has stuck with me and I know it is long past the time of me getting my dignity back and leaving. I have tried 7 times to leave and each time I am bullied, manipulated, threatened or just gaslit back into the bs. I pray you find the strength to never look back. You and your children have always deserved better. The new woman will eventually see the light, but honestly no one deserves to be in the company of these demons. No human deserves to ever encounter the demonic energy that lives within these earth walkers. They are pure misery, sadness and rage.
Congratulations on such an amazing accomplishment ❤❤❤❤ Your loved ones must be so proud of you!
@@Melli6000 That was so beautifully said and all of your sentiments and comments touched my heart. With what you shared, I can tell that we can relate in so many aspects of our marriages. You spoke truth without even knowing me nor the details. I’m so sorry to hear how your boys feel and it being a reality you are facing, including the horrific situations these personality types have manipulated us into.
I can relate to the tug of war of that trauma bond. In my case, the discard is fresh. He has done something similar in the past, but he just walked out on 4 April. However, when he was unempathetically and apathetically delivering his fiery darts of discard, although I had the pit in my stomach and my heart was dropping, I too, had a sense of relief pouring over me. A relief that I would no longer have to deal with this mind bending marriage. A relief that I would no longer have to fight anymore. In that moment, as much as I’ve been forgiving him and standing for our marriage and waiting on God to deliver us, I knew, it was going to be over regardless of what came next.
I am still in great pain. My world has still been flipped. I still feel like I’m in a living nightmare when I awake. I still feel the reality of my entire future plans, dreams, and goals having been robbed from me, but I am done. If I could have it my way, I’d never see nor talk to him ever again for the rest of my life. I do have to continue to interact with him though because of our teens and because I still handle everything at the house and he’s deployed. I have not spoken to him since 5 April and all of our communication, by my boundaries, have been through text and email. I’m as no contact as I can be. I’m being supported by my mom, granny, family, friends, therapy groups, therapists, Dr. Ramani, and more recently Lee. Yes, they are all uber proud.
I too, am sorry that you have lived through so much trauma, but you are surviving and those same words you shared with me, I will encourage you to tell yourself the same. Without knowing you, I can tell you are a beautiful woman who deserves the best that God and life have to offer. Your sons can even see it clearly. I’ll be in thoughts and prayers for you and getting your dignity back. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. It meant so much to me to read this tonight. I appreciate your care and time. Your last 5 sentences are bomb.🌹
When you called 12 and when you take them to court!😂😂😂✌🏾✌🏾🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄❗✅🤭🤭🤡🤡
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Thank you, very enlightening.
Wow, that's so interesting and eye-opening! 💯
Glad you enjoyed it
He broke no contact the 22nd of January after over three months, and communicated with me every day but my birthday, just to be a douche canoe.
This is so helpful! Thank you for helping us understand, Lee! You are such a blessing ❤
After 14 years I called him out on his blatant lies. He has said he now just needs to avoid me and not talk to me to keep the peace because I'm unhinged.
He got issues
Rebound talk Shit about me and than the narc blocked me 😂😂😂 rebound is i think more Toxic than the narc...
You are giving the hiding report in same dialogues. Thank you.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
1. Disrespect narc (real or imagined!);
2. To regain control;
3. To make you want them;
4. To bring you down a notch (& bring focus back on them);
5. About to discard you.
Reasons why narc ignores you😈👺💩
❤ thank you ❤
I told him i was out for supper with a friend and he stopped responding and i didnt hear from him for days. That happened on multiple occasions, also when i was out with my mom. One time it was because i took too long showering and he lectured me for 3 hours and then refused to see me. Then was mad because I didnt show up at his house to SHOW him that i cared. Also he didnt like when men talked to me/us. He told me im too nice and im not allowed to speak because im his woman. 😐 It was all so much chaos and highs and lows. It emotionally messed with me.
I think you should call your book The humble narcissist
I essentially said to him that I can’t live in his fantasies all the time. He got really mad and said “ that really hurts. Really really hurts” and I haven’t heard from him for 3 months. I can’t contact him ( I have no intention of contacting him) as he’s blocked me everywhere.
The one and only thing to say to a narcissist is NO! NO over and over, they retreat, try communication again, NOooooo In my experience, he finally got it. However, no two people are alike.
Hahaha the title only makes me laugh so hard. If u don't give them your energy then they are soooo butt hurt. That they do as if you are dead. I don't care no more😅
😅
Can I send you a real prop from Battlestar Lee? I have a collection Great mention. ... anyway. LEE ... PLEASE give a Starbuck diagnosis.
Will they realize their silent treatment to gain control isn’t making you beg or reverse Hoover eventually? I often wondered if this is what he’s trying but I’m stubborn AF & won’t! Lol
My Mother did that and my ex husband. A lot of the silent treatment. Very painful 💔
Yes yes yes and Im done ✔ So im free thsnk God, just very damaged.
me too.. my malignant mom who abused me since childhood now join hands with my covert husband.. i’m so depressed.. luckily you have divorced your ex..
@@hibiscus1974 Hey I know that feeling and feeling so crazy from all the phychological abuse shame and control. I am so sorry your going through this. It's not your fault . The shame goes on them. The exact thing has happened to me. If you need a friend I'm here ok. 🥲💟
@@hibiscus1974 Hey I tried to reply three times. Your not alone or crazy and I'm here for you if you need a friend to talk to. The shame is on them.
Lol you good with the text thing. Lol 😂😂😂 my that's right. I can dig it
Okay, so a narc was interested in me this is my 5th one. But the I am never blinded to the signs! I never get involved with them like that I just be trying to see. However, this previous one I am questioning because we have only talked for a month ( barely) because I would always ignore his calls and I didn’t mean to it’s just he did something that showed he wanted emotional control over me and he’d call multiple times during the day not even considering that I do have a job. He stated to me that he does what he wants ! And if I did call him back he would not answer. I know he is doing to get me back but I genuinely in my heart want to show him my real heart and show him I am a quality woman- but because of all the things he has shown me I lock it away and he gets the non chalant person which is hate to have to be that way, but he is emotionally abusive. He stood me for Starbucks and never rendered an apology just and excuse and then had the right to text me after standing me up …. “ When I want to see your face…. Answer the phone !” Like sir what control do you think you have over here. My brokenness did like the chase it made me feel wanted so my brain got confused … but really he is chasing me until he gets what he wants. He pleaded over and over with me to let me guard down I mean isn’t that something that happens naturally without forcing someone to put them down? Weirdo
Lee stoooop! 😂😂😂😂😂
U right tho! 😂😂😂
It don’t work round these parts.
I dont want him at all!
Ignoring because of discard and ignoring because of taking the control back and turn the shining are totaly different things - how one can know which is the case?!?
@@svjetlanabrezo334 This is a very pertinent question that all the videos about narcissism make me ask myself again and again. They all talk about the intention behind it, but intention is really hard to figure out. Intention can also easily be denied. If you tell a narcissist that they are doing the silent treatment, they will probably gaslight you and say they only took som time out because you are so abusive. If someone makes you feel really bad i would avoid them. Do not give them any ammunition to throw back at you. My experience is that silent treatment can make you feel sick, but having to decide to go no contact is the most difficult thing ever. Every time you feel bad for doing so, try analyzing what they made you go through, and that perhaps for only a slight offense that normal people would deal with and talk to you about
@@El-bz1tq I am not asking because I need something to know....I deal with them for long time and I know the core of the phsihology of it.
I am an expert 😁
I just ask Lee because there i so many videos on the topic and more confusion - is it this or that? I ask HIM because of dialog and discusion....
Thank you for your concern 🧡 but I am kind of narcissistic dragon slayer 😄😄😉
(I am not a "normal" too, but I dont want to be - I love to reject them or play their games and play stupid for some time and then suddenly beat them with their own weapon)
Thank you, seriously, but I dont need an advice what to do with them - I will do what I want - just, for psihology sake, I ask what is the difference and how to know which one is truth, because it is so opposite. And...I dont deal with any narc perticular now, so I cant go no contact. 🙂
Sam Vaknin explains a lot about details in their brains, and I love Lee too because its short and funny 🧡
None of these apply to my mother. She’s been stalking me. She’s 78 and is meaner than ever. I’m pretty sure she’s burned all her bridges. I can’t wait for the day she discards me
😫😫😫
Can you make a video about triangulation? I figured out it’s another tactic they use and I have a crazy story about how mine did it….anyways to keep it short I figured his tactic out and dumped his ass but he still continues to make other people ( new victims) call me. It’s supposed to make me jealous or something? I really don’t understand.
I just want him to leave me alone and stop bothering me.
Ask those calling you for their address, that you'd like to send them a sympathy card as they'll need it.
Thats a blessing l😂
Theres always a dam problem 😂
Every time she ignore she has an other guy she goes cold colder then ice even that hurts. The weeks befor she was great telling how great it was the nexst week nothing no reaction on my goud morning ore my reaction on her photo then I knew she had another guy she says no but I know her enough.
Oh yeah
My ex wife ghosted me only after 2 years of marriage
What a coward she ran back to Mommy and Daddy
Streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent...T.S. Elliot
DEMONS!
‼️
Yes no 3
I have paid for course how do I get on it please let me know
email me at Info@mentalhealness.net
I wish he'd ignore me!
Covert Narcs at its finest !
How narcs thinks they gain control by giving silent treatment? I enjoy the silent treatment I receive from my business partner, its sooo quiet and good hahahah How do they think they gain control by beeing silent? Hahahaha
If I caught him cheating ( we aren't a couple and he told me during this years when he knew another woman, but not this time) sent him a brief message that told him about It and blocked him, Is It possibile that he would try to reach me out anyway?
He gave me indifference for two weeks, then went to rang my door bell but I didn't open. Could he keep trying to talk to me?
Yesterday it was ‘ I love you pls love me again’.. today he says’ I don’t love you but I’ll be your friend forever!’ I said no and now I’m blocked .. 74 abusive calls littered with gaslighting later..🙄🫤😑