Dave - Lesley [ft. Ruelle] [Instrumental] [PSYCHODRAMA]
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- čas přidán 9. 03. 2019
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PG family friendly clean - Hudba
![Dave - How I Met My Ex [OFFICIAL INSTRUMENTAL] ReProd. By Mason Garside](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bCeT-IBRGHY/mqdefault.jpg)
![Dave - How I Met My Ex [OFFICIAL INSTRUMENTAL] ReProd. By Mason Garside](/img/tr.png)
![Dave - Drama [Instrumental] [PSYCHODRAMA]](/img/n.gif)
First! Perfect btw
thankss bro
Look
They say the universe, it works in a strange way
And it must be true because, we ain't from the same background or same place
But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight
To catch the 906 from Norbury Station
Two different worlds in the same location and
One day we ended up speaking
And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings
And how she's planning on leaving
How she hates what she does but she needs it
I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend
And she said, she said
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
She used to be the life of the party for true
And now she going out hardly ever
Her man got her in the yard forever
And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her
Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive
And she can't even see it, but for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation
Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative
So, she could see it from a mile off
Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots
All the signs were there
But Lesley made it seem a light affair
Said it wasn't right to share
Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can
Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning
To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him
'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
But they've both got demons and a deep past
You know opposites attract, apparently
I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh
He was all that she had
Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back
And I don't know if there was more to the story than that
'Cause she plays things down but according to that
He went missing one day in the morning he ran
She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat
'Til she, lost her job it fucked all of her plans
Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash
But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her
When I saw Les' she told me
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for
It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor
There's no income, my boyfriend left me
So how the fuck am I going to survive when this kid's born?"
I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is
And Les', I never even knew you were having a kid"
Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected
Single but I don't think she wants to accept it
So she's still texting ex's trying to get this
Back on track but I don't think that she gets it
It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
Life is a lesson
And you ain't got to sit and cry
And Lesley, living in this gift called life
There's no better gift than the gift of life
So, can you handle it?
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
But that changed her perspective
Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
Only got to wait a few months
Her and Hannah had lunch
Told her she's pregnant
And they're the closest of bredrins
So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error
You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever
Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
If I'm honest that's something you should have done together
She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again
And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them
She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, better 'cause now they're together it's wild
Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em
'Cause while she's letting him down but most of them are never around
She calls Hannah the next day
Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame
So she left her a voicemail
Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan
But today I think she's going home early
Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
Addressing any reservations
Have that conversation
Middle of the summer and it's raining
Waiting at the train station
Hella cancellations
So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat
Blue jean jacket and a maxi
Actually, tired and her legs are aching
Touched the destination
Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
She put the key in the door
She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor
Some size five trainers, raging
Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbors
And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise
And she can hear Jason's voice
Saying "Hide in the closet"
But he's made his choice
So, she bursts in saying "What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?"
Jason, saying "What the fuck, you're pregnant? What the fuck?
You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the fuck?
What do you want from us?
Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love
I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us
And also, I don't wanna talk loads
One more line before I dash like Morse code"
Open the wardrobe
And Jason's on the edge
"I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me
Maybe your baby's similar to me
Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me
To satisfy you quicker than me
I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me
What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me?
I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me
And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key"
I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me
Literally, I remember viscerally
Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me
White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see
I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me
Physically I shut the fucking doors quick as can be
He's outside asking why I made him do what he did
Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle
I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't
Jason's gone by the time police are comin'
They saw that ain't no one else in the house
And feds are running through the door shouting
"We have reports of an argument with a woman"
There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall
Lesley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds
She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head
If anything, she couldn't even say anything
But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is
So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this
Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle
Until they stumble on something that's kind of random
It's a phone in the wardrobe
They had five missed phone calls from Jason and also a couple other numbers
So they thinking that it's no help
Until they play the voicemail like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking
Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did
Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarrassing
She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison
Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it
Now she's waiting for an ambulance
Yeah
And I know she's strong, but when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked
Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked
They said her baby was the reason she was holding on
She dozing off, doctors getting no response
Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong
Picked her up, got her out the home and onto the stretcher for good measure
But she fading out, oh
She took damage to the brain and now she's in a coma as we speak
But I ain't sure if she can make it out
You see this time that I'm taking out to tell you the story is more than a song or track
It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped
I understand that I can never understand
And I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right
Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives
Are fucked aside and they will never touch on why
I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like-
Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye
This shit's awful, no matter what culture it ain't normal
Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault
In that train full of people that you're taking
How many Lesley's are running from their Jasons?
Angel without wings
Like the day without the night to bring her peace
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong
Like an ocean without a shore
A soldier without a war
How can we do this anymore?
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong
Well, we've made a massive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we?
Feels like a long journey
And I must say it's been a pleasure, to watch you mature and grow in thought
And in your career and life
You've opened up immensely
I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions
But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself
So you're always welcome
I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel you understand your emotions
And are in control
James Phillips wow amazing man!
James Phillips my g
Gah damn this is perfection! You the real MVP!
It’s absolutely wonderful !!! It’s really a magical song !!!! Congrats for this awesome song !!! 😍💕
thanks ;)
You're doing bits making these instrumentals
appreciated :))
I remember when I was growing up I grew up round a lotta love
Never stopped n thought about it’s just what it was
Happy kids grow into happy people
A happy childhood will guide u to a happy sequel
Good n evil
Isn’t something I believe in
Everybody’s blessed n that’s just something I’m at peace with
But sometimes when I’m sleeping
I would dream about the demons that I sleep with
A creature in me eating
Mum told me that my nightmares are deceiving, that depression isn’t something that you’ll ever have to deal with,
you’re from a nice home
The people round you love you
Don’t you stress your little head with what those creatures getting up to
They can’t hurt you
They can’t stop you from blossoming and finding you a woman that deserves you
A life that will serve you
These thoughts are something we all gotta work through
No-matter how bad it gets it can’t hurt you, that was her truth
She wouldn’t lie to me
I just wished she had the foresight to see the creature that was eating me, secretly was
mutating inside of me
And when the happy kid turned unhappy teen it was too late coz the creature started guiding me
And mum was just numb to the irony
She didn’t understand how the little boy she had raised had
Fallen so mightily
All we really own is our time and our moments,
So right now it's my moment in time,
I thank god for the growth in my life,
But I still feel so alone in my mind
One day man I hope I can shine,
To show the world u can win if u open your eyes,
But I'm still waiting on that token of life,
Cuz I'm still feeling so broken inside
Look,
Mummy lost her life, not physically but mentally,
This shits fucked inside,
Laugher, good times, wish I could go back to them days, nowadays all people wanna do is fuck around and play games,
Look,
I've always found it hard to express how I feel, The only way I could let go was to put my earphones in and chill.
As they would say,
The nightime is when the pain would play
Those nights won't always stay the same,
Always remind yourself there's gonna be better days,
Look
People love to talk, on a situation they never would've thought, could be them,
That's why its best to pre-tend you're fine even when your not cause, the moment you open up is when you give that person the opportunity to tell a friend.
Then things get mixed up,
Look,
-
What I'm starting to realise is its best to lay low,
Keep your head under the halo,
Always going out late at night causing trouble on the main roads with your 'friends'
The ones who got your back?
No,
The ones who only hit you up when their off their heads off crack,
That's not you,
You're not that type of person,
Always wanting to talk about your emotions but never knowing how to word them,
Look.
Look,
Success has changed things,
And theres a certain authority that my name brings
Forget David, "Dave's" king
At least that's the way for these plane jane tings,
Fame stinks
Look,
Success is what you want it to be
Success is walking in a store and getting all it for free
But success is wanting more, and calling repeat
Success is falling for cheats, success is all in your dreams
I hear you calling for me
Look
Look,
Sucess feels amazing,
It gave me a new identity, but I forgot about David
I got so caught up in the fucking lie that fame is
That I stifled my own life, am I any better than a Jason?
Look
It's sucks, yes
That's just success
fame stinks😂@@soyouknowwhattocallme
these are outrageous.. please if you get the time bless the enviroment beat mate
check my channel i posted it
i had a thought little while back my time is coming
i was sitting on the grass but my mind was buzzing
see i was tied to the cycles, my mind was running
i tried fight it, got tired of the time spent, crying or bunning
thoughts ain't got substance, but the substances the cause of them,
the problem is i really started liking them
grab a drink and sit and right myself
i'd tell myself it's stages that you grow through
the liquor helps to water them
if i felt like i was slipping, sip another til i fall again
fucked the way the things you think are helping you are harmful
it was fucked the way i'd sit in my class
gripping my arm, i'm feeling something quick in my heart
rate it's quicker than it's been and i'm just wishing for calm
but i ain't had that in a minute, ain't been chill in a while
days gone, weeks fly by, i'm used to what i shouldnt be
used to the adrenaline, that's still in my art
so i went and grabbed a spliff, i gripped and lit in my yard
we'll sit in the dark, my mind...me, ink and the past
couple minutes, rhymes flowing, and the feelings ajar
i guess i sat there for a minute, cos i felt like i'm alright again
muscles barely, tightening, my fists weren't even clenching
reality checking
see i was back to the present
that's when i realised my plan of actions handle the stress and
i'd try to say it to myself i guess i couldn't handle the resonance
it's a gift, that in those days i was embarassed to tell it
guess it's a blessing but a curse, it's just the way it goes
cos i can't talk to other people what i speak in my notes
but i can say it on a mic, i like to speak it in prose
anyway, i kinda learned, that all these feelings are ghosts
and the thoughts of you and them, and all those memories go
when all those skeletons in closets, get to air with the clothes
these people told me, stop that thinking bout the past cos it ain't helping you grow
i don't agree, cos when i did, i kinda knew why i'd been feeling it
knew why i could never seem to reason with it
OCD, it ain't for playing on the speakers with
it ain't like what they think it is, ain't really bout no cleaning
it's bout me and possibilities, i'd feel as if they're real
and it ain't nothing that i'd joke about
ain't something that i wrote about,
or something i tried talking bout
but lately i've been feeling like i really need to talk it out
get it off my chest, because the weights been getting awkward
how was i like seventeen, but had a feeling like i'm older
now i'm sat here in a year, and i don't feel like i can sort it out
...
i don't know if there's a way that i can force myself to smile
it doesn't seem like there's another fucking way around this maze, that i ain't walked around
and lately
... i swear
i don't know myself
i don't know myself no more
Dissociation, don't feel right in myself
it's kinda hard to try describe, but it's like losing my connection
i wanna try explain it but i don't know how to tell it
if i do i'd get it wrong, and then i know that i'll regret it
so i learned that if i didn't then just learn how i can sell it
all these things that i'm researching, wish i didn't know the spelling
and i knew should let them go, but i just don't know how i could let them
so it turned to getting women, as an easy misdirection
i would reason with myself, it's cos i needed some affection
but those needs needed attention
the truth is i'd forget myself, with girls that i've been texting
all these 9s 9's 9's like i'm phoning up a medic
wasn't focused on their feelings, i'd just focus on aesthetics
but i'd look inside that mirror, and i'd realise i'm changing
the man i thought i was, he wasn't me, he's just pathetic
wasn't calm to be emotionless, or fine when apathetic
wasn't calm to be adulterous, my mind just didn't get it
i'd devoted so much time to getting right, and i'd forget it
i'd spent days up in my bedroom tryna write myself an ending
i'd forgot the way it felt, when i first learned about the pen
and since that day i started pushing forward
just a little more, quick tick to put my win on the board
exponential way i've grown, but i ain't finishing poor
i'm tryna make it with my writing, like i'm printing them on blue paper
more now, so the tunes turn to views later
i'll go stu, now, tunes for you dudes later
it's all facts, what i'm writing, like on newspapers
music better open up doors like a new neighbour
money longer at the top like a crew taper
i wanna make it off of my blues like a new sega
but
...
i don't know myself
i don't know myself no more
all alone walking in this thing called life.
I done hit rock bottom long nights might cry.
Hearing voices in my head I’m losing my mind.
If I ever did the crime then I’m doing the time.
Let me take u to the start
We came from the same paths
Dads left us from young
But the difference is she never let it stop her have fun
U see she got her whole life planned out
She gon make it no doubt
But whilst I’m wiv her I feel like I just bring her down
But enough about me we’lol have time for that later
Rn want to talk about this girl
She hasn’t had the best life
But to be happy man she try’s
N I hope that she gets everything she deserves
Cause She a rlly caring girl
Tryna be suttin in this world
But life keeps making her draw the short straw
It’s not fair got too much in her hair
But still decided to try make suttin of herself
She got pregnant so young
But that’s is her dream
All she hopes is to be the best she can for her son
And the best she can for her baby daddy
He ain’t physically abusive but mentally
Maybe
Always says he don’t give a fuck about his baby
Even tho he knows it’s a lie
He just wants to make her hurt from inside
I'm just happy that I still ain't dead,
But I don't know how to feel about this life I live,
See I was tryna bury all the fucking lies I live, I forgot how I could ever find a fuck that I could give..
Lying to myself so I could feel alright about these people in my life, they don't care they know that I'll forgive,
I know that she done a whole fucking lot for me, I love you and I hate you, why can't we do this shit properly,
Me and you not having complicated relationship is rarer then me scratching a card and winning the lottery,
Got me feeling like Im trapped in a maze, when I ran in that rain, there was not another time where I felt free,
Even though I looked upon that road, wondering how I got there, I lost all the balance in my knees,
I just thought about my beautiful girl, and how to her I was the whole world, she would do the same,
Its fucked, I thought about how I was just so lame, how can a man resort to taking his own life, at just a young so age,
You're 16, you can't feel any pain, They try downplay what I been through out of touch so go fuck your age,
I know you been through years, but that don't mean that the trauma I've sustained is nothing else than a spec of a grain,
I know you had to come from poverty in the slums back at home, maybe elsewhere, to any of the parents today,
I know you been through a hell and you came back, but your kids have been more than what you think is the surface level,
And it aint up to certain levels,
I can't battle certain demons, cause its worse than that, its certain devils
Im tryna get my bro out the trap,
When I'm doing good, Im taking all my family, my brothers at that,
Anyone whos been there wid me thats my family,
I'll take a fucking bullet, on my will they'll have my salary,
You can't say that money aint gonna buy you happiness,
But give my mum a million and she would be the happiest,
Moving back to kenya, getting out of this dunya,
My brothers would start making ps legit,
There's more money there in contrary trapping is the shabbiest,
Have you driving cars better than them pricks the flashiest,
I'm tryna see my family my brothers all the happiest..
Can you please please do Dave - My 19th Birthday but just the instrumentals like this one?
Ive been so lost in life for so long,
Whens it gonna go right, how'd it go so wrong,
How many mistakes can one man make until he falls off?
Need to get back on track before its too long,
Ive been trying to find myself for a minute now,
I work so hard but Im never fucking winning how?
And im sick and tired of this,
Life I didnt choose to be in, this life I dont want to live,
And Im sorry to upset the people around me,
Am I just confused or do people never understand me,
Im like lost post without a stamp,
Ive been trying to make a mark but cant leave no footprints in the sand,
And Im trying to carry on even though I want to stop,
Imagine climbing a mountain knowing youll never reach the top,
Harry reynolds .. this hit me man. All one can do is write and sing. Appreciate you sharing this with me. Amazing how one mans lyrics can translate so clearly to another.
@@rocksrob always writing never finish what I start tho
^^^^^ niceee
Subscribed
thank u my guy
❤
Hi. It's me again. I really need you to do Black by Dave
Pass the pen and pad ima have to go deep on this shit.
Can i use this instrumental for non profit use? is it free to use?
Popping bottles
Like am taking of their heads
Haiting on a yung g who's just trynna get
His bread
See it realy dont make sence
Aint trappy with z
But am slanging all these words
And they coming at ya head
Boi
My life is mad
Fuck all the depresion shit
I wanna get these bands
Woi
My bro got the strap
Stay strappes up
If u give me that chat then i blast off
Bow
Hold that corn its a 5.9
Aint glyding all the time like 5 to 9
But chop rate cerit its 5 on 5
If u wanna make p come n hit my line
01274 to 0115
Catch me in either side wiv
Either ma bros or the guys
Cancel out the hate thats a fact
When u come from the gutter u want these racks
3 side dats Wat am slanging
Yung boi stay fly no trapping
But ik some dargy who be trapping
Banging
They ot got their graft line active
Active on the block and they slashing
Oof
Word play stay to cold thats standerd
Nutting like dave but we catch em the santan
Badman get 22 for gang akh
One in the head
And the other for ur body
Blast him one time and his body starts rocking
Nutting like jay 1 but true i am moking
Cause am cold with shit
Yo am moving aggy wid it
And ma bitch got back she jiggy wid it
Silly with it
Chatting about my fam
I get busy wid it
Money on ma mind i want lizzy lizzy
Up stui i stay bizzy bizzy
Fuck all the chatting
I get grimmy grimmy
They follow me like cats
They Nittys nittys
can i buy this on lease to release a song
Zweback - Premature Packulation
Appreciate the instrumentals g could u put them on soundcloud?
You can use the Musi app to let it lay in the. Background
Play *
Did you make this from scratch?
Yeah he said he played the harp
0:16
whats the bpm
zotto it’s straight piano nothing else
@@natygeta6797 it's not piano, but guitar. and the bpm is approximately 82 bpm
89
89
Are u selling it?
DM me
She called me 7 am like an alarm
I know she should’ve slept in my arms
But it’s a Saturday, she had a wedding on the island for her aunt
So I asked her how it is? I hoped she’s enjoying it
She said “that’s not the matter that’s not why I’m calling sweet”
She said she woke up and she started vomitting
And she took a test immediately and it was positive
First it felt like a shock but I tried to feel positive
She said she wants to know if I wanna let the baby live
I said “ I love you and I love all that comes from you”
It’s not the time I’m too young babe I’ll look like a fool
When you’re not married 1 + 1 is 2
She said “ she doesn’t like my attitude”
She’s made her decisions I should respect it
And that is God’s diagnostics
I said baby “ don’t you even get it?”
We’re not ready, real world not Jurassic
A family is fantastic
But the chaos I can’t have it
So I cut the call and took a drink
I really just wanted to think
It felt like the point my ship will sink
Was at the brink of loosing it
Music, business and school how am I doing it?
Felt like a movie for the thrill of it
But I loved Hannah more than anything
and I understand her reason
Love is sacrifice when you have the prey to kill
I gotta work harder if I sign the deal
I gotta be ready for a lifetime contract with my first child
That day man I cried
My emotions were so wild
But there’s no way to run and no where to hide
So I accepted it
I was ready now to have a kid
Ready for a family
So I called Hannah, like “ hey baby, how you Dey?”
Just want you to know you’ll have your way
I’ve thought about it and I’ve prayed
And I’m sure I want the baby to stay
Hannah was excited,
she said she told her mum she was delighted
I assured her that I love her and she should never be frightened
After that I put in work, invested in time
Found new business to get back in line
I grew up faster than my guys
Strengthened my self and strengthened my mind
Hannah came home on a Tuesday
I heard a “salamalekun” like she would say
Rushed to the door like a child chasing candy
Sun was bright but wasn’t brighter than my baby
I love her, she really drives me crazy
I said Hannah, “it felt like years without you”
I could have gone mad if I tried to
She laughed and said “you really make me shy boo”
Hope you’re preparing for your father title.
Since that day me and Hannah we’ve been best of friends
And we were ready to take it to the end
Love is beautiful and I can’t be bought no matter how much you spend
That’s why I cherish it, just like a diamond I protect it
Like a diamond love Is hard to find
Love is hard to break
Love is beautiful and not a fake
Love is earned, love is magical, we all relate
Love is a fuel that drives me to be great
Love is like light to see when blinded by the hate
Love is the key to open your heart’s gate
Love is water to quench your lonely thirst
Love is God, God is love it’s above us all
Im sorry but were is the violins??
If there risking it they gotta go
I know I ought to show
My feelings coz I feel it
Is it money or the love that’s grown
Countless nights I’m home alone
Round the time it’s getting dark I’ll send a text n watch it blow
Grands in cash still ua coat
two way trip I’m risking loads
Mum she knows what’s going on so find the telling off is old
Been thinking I should stop w both
Don’t know what the path to take
in a day I’ll find myself at Kevin’s place It’s getting sold
Wreck the coast so scousers thinking check the doe
Dead their post
Problems coz the table ain’t got chairs for those
Those men are foes
One day show me love n next you’ll set my bro
No rented toast
look back on Dave he had it whole
On the happy days I’ll @ my bros
On the sadder days might strap it loads
Paranoid I’m on the window Fuvk the sof
I’m para loads
I couldn’t
Get to you n talk about the life I chose
If I wouldn’t
Get the food
Then I don’t know where I would float
Early morning n there’s noise outside the door my heart did froze
I do know
Yeah
It's JD
2K23
Listen
Yeah, my heart is cold but my thoughts breath colder
Now it's 2023 man is another year older
Thoughts piling up almost getting to be too much like law and order
So much stress just saddling on to my chest
Probably why I got a hunched back and a stressed out mind
Take me out for 5
Leave me out in the open with no reason to keep me within
All of this pain is what made it a fact
Id rather be dead leave my pain outstanding
Let the light shine through so you can see the remains stacked waiting patiently
Almost as if the day turned to night but changed on right back cause your sick of the dark and the wait for light
Don't give a fuck if you think I ain't right
Lived my life waiting for the god damn moment that I can believe each word that I say, so impatient cause the impact didn't kick back the same that it used to now I'm unused to the feeling of pain and dread
Just wait till the light leaves the room and you'll feel the sense I feel cause man I wish I didn't see anything whatsoever
lost my mind cause I'm unmotivating myself cause maybe it's time that I sorted out my dread
relegated the pain that has spent 20 years in my head how many days spent waiting impatiently sat on my bed with no reason to live but the season still gives me reason to spend time with my family cause if i ain't got them then what have I got left
I'm so sorry, but I don't know what to say
I'm so sorry, my head doesn't like to stay
I'm so sorry, I can't keep my concentration cause of things I can't speak about they live in my head 24/7 but you just don't realise
Cause if your eyes worked as well as mine then maybe you'd realise the pain that I see
Not only the pain that I see, the pain and the shame is in the air that I breath,
So as much as I try to give, I get double back in my receipts, I wish sometimes that this life I never received, shit I wish that I never seen, anguish and hate that just makes my heart bleed, all of this is just inside but I can't relinquish my dream cause the train of thought ends on the same note that I started on, saying I hope your fine I hope your well and ends on I hope your fine but this time life doesn't need me I've done nothing but rage and make you believe your insane and I'm so fucking sorry for the way that I've been the past 3 years must have felt like your reeling me out putting the feelers out cause your so fucking scared and heartbroken from the time when I made your life seem like it was over
There ain't no stopping fate, people say through a twist of fate but I've been twisting and turning and all throughout the day I've still never been learning I'm in the same persona still ain't changed this way, got the same vibe and the same blurred sky that I see outside so why should I try to fixate on fixing something we created when it's not gonna be fixed and it won't ever be fine
No fault of your own
I know from what you've said and I can feel the disbelief in your head that as much as you hate me you don't want to live without it
All the anger and shame that you feel I've brought and dropped onto your name
I wish that I could change that but I can't
I wish that I could leave but if I did I wouldn't be able to come back and that's mad
I want to be there as I'm affectionate for my daughter
She the only one who doesn't realise just what's been said and done
She's the only one who's pure of heart and mind and can make their own mind up on if she wants me around
Not the other way round
Not no dicking about
Saying I've done this I've done that and your still the driving force pushing me away giving me a place to stay then contradicting saying that it's all my fault like who the fucks to blame
Ive been so lost in life for so long,
Whens it gonna go right, how'd it go so wrong,
How many mistakes can one man make until he falls off?
Need to get back on track before its too long,
Ive been trying to find myself for a minute now,
I work so hard but Im never fucking winning how?
And im sick and tired of this,
Life I didnt choose to be in, this life I dont want to live,
And Im sorry to upset the people around me,
Am I just confused or do people never understand me,
Im like lost post without a stamp,
Ive been trying to make a mark but cant leave no footprints in the sand,
Ive been trying to find my way, but i turned down the wrong road, always walking on my own, yano the long way home,
so far gone
in the past where it lasts an eternity
its like dates inferno see
with each part of my life moving up and down consistantly
this me i dont want to finish with me
who is he who stares at me in the mirror i see
could it be shes trying to help me
yelling in my mind im trying think clearer
yelling at this broken mirror
what if you could switch with me see how the shoe fits
pass by shoe stores every day
minds being shredded into bits
anyway its no biggie anyway
dont worry, bottle it up and chug it or chuck it
Look
They say the universe, it works in a strange way
And it must be true because, we ain't from the same background or same place
But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight
To catch the 906 from Norbury Station
Two different worlds in the same location and
One day we ended up speaking
And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings
And how she's planning on leaving
How she hates what she does but she needs it
I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend
And she said, she said
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
She used to be the life of the party for true
And now she going out hardly ever
Her man got her in the yard forever
And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her
Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive
And she can't even see it, but for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation
Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative
So, she could see it from a mile off
Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots
All the signs were there
But Lesley made it seem a light affair
Said it wasn't right to share
Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can
Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning
To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him
'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
But they've both got demons and a deep past
You know opposites attract, apparently
I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh
He was all that she had
Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back
And I don't know if there was more to the story than that
'Cause she plays things down but according to that
He went missing one day in the morning he ran
She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat
'Til she, lost her job it fucked all of her plans
Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash
But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her
When I saw Les' she told me
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for
It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor
There's no income, my boyfriend left me
So how the fuck am I going to survive when this kid's born?"
I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is
And Les', I never even knew you were having a kid"
Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected
Single but I don't think she wants to accept it
So she's still texting ex's trying to get this
Back on track but I don't think that she gets it
It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
Life is a lesson
And you ain't got to sit and cry
And Lesley, living in this gift called life
There's no better gift than the gift of life
So, can you handle it?
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
But that changed her perspective
Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
Only got to wait a few months
Her and Hannah had lunch
Told her she's pregnant
And they're the closest of bredrins
So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error
You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever
Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
If I'm honest that's something you should have done together
She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again
And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them
She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, better 'cause now they're together it's wild
Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em
'Cause while she's letting him down but most of them are never around
She calls Hannah the next day
Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame
So she left her a voicemail
Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan
But today I think she's going home early
Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
Addressing any reservations
Have that conversation
Middle of the summer and it's raining
Waiting at the train station
Hella cancellations
So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat
Blue jean jacket and a maxi
Actually, tired and her legs are aching
Touched the destination
Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
She put the key in the door
She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor
Some size five trainers, raging
Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbors
And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise
And she can hear Jason's voice
Saying "Hide in the closet"
But he's made his choice
So, she bursts in saying "What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?"
Jason, saying "What the fuck, you're pregnant? What the fuck?
You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the fuck?
What do you want from us?
Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love
I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us
And also, I don't wanna talk loads
One more line before I dash like Morse code"
Open the wardrobe
And Jason's on the edge
"I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me
Maybe your baby's similar to me
Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me
To satisfy you quicker than me
I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me
What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me?
I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me
And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key"
I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me
Literally, I remember viscerally
Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me
White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see
I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me
Physically I shut the fucking doors quick as can be
He's outside asking why I made him do what he did
Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle
I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't
Jason's gone by the time police are comin'
They saw that ain't no one else in the house
And feds are running through the door shouting
"We have reports of an argument with a woman"
There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall
Lesley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds
She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head
If anything, she couldn't even say anything
But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is
So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this
Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle
Until they stumble on something that's kind of random
It's a phone in the wardrobe
They had five missed phone calls from Jason and also a couple other numbers
So they thinking that it's no help
Until they play the voicemail like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking
Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did
Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarrassing
She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison
Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it
Now she's waiting for an ambulance
Yeah
And I know she's strong, but when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked
Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked
They said her baby was the reason she was holding on
She dozing off, doctors getting no response
Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong
Picked her up, got her out the home and onto the stretcher for good measure
But she fading out, oh
She took damage to the brain and now she's in a coma as we speak
But I ain't sure if she can make it out
You see this time that I'm taking out to tell you the story is more than a song or track
It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped
I understand that I can never understand
And I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right
Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives
Are fucked aside and they will never touch on why
I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like-
Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye
This shit's awful, no matter what culture it ain't normal
Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault
In that train full of people that you're taking
How many Lesley's are running from their Jasons?
Did you make this from scratch?
yh i recorded myself playing the harp
@@PWEST damn bro talent
@@PWEST do you got insta where we can talk?
Look
They say the universe, it works in a strange way
And it must be true because, we ain't from the same background or same place
But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight
To catch the 906 from Norbury Station
Two different worlds in the same location and
One day we ended up speaking
And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings
And how she's planning on leaving
How she hates what she does but she needs it
I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend
And she said, she said
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
She used to be the life of the party for true
And now she going out hardly ever
Her man got her in the yard forever
And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her
Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive
And she can't even see it, but for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation
Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative
So, she could see it from a mile off
Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots
All the signs were there
But Lesley made it seem a light affair
Said it wasn't right to share
Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can
Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning
To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him
'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
But they've both got demons and a deep past
You know opposites attract, apparently
I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh
He was all that she had
Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back
And I don't know if there was more to the story than that
'Cause she plays things down but according to that
He went missing one day in the morning he ran
She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat
'Til she, lost her job it fucked all of her plans
Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash
But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her
When I saw Les' she told me
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for
It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor
There's no income, my boyfriend left me
So how the fuck am I going to survive when this kid's born?"
I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is
And Les', I never even knew you were having a kid"
Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected
Single but I don't think she wants to accept it
So she's still texting ex's trying to get this
Back on track but I don't think that she gets it
It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
Life is a lesson
And you ain't got to sit and cry
And Lesley, living in this gift called life
There's no better gift than the gift of life
So, can you handle it?
I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more
But that changed her perspective
Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
Only got to wait a few months
Her and Hannah had lunch
Told her she's pregnant
And they're the closest of bredrins
So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error
You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever
Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
If I'm honest that's something you should have done together
She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again
And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them
She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, better 'cause now they're together it's wild
Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em
'Cause while she's letting him down but most of them are never around
She calls Hannah the next day
Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame
So she left her a voicemail
Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan
But today I think she's going home early
Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
Addressing any reservations
Have that conversation
Middle of the summer and it's raining
Waiting at the train station
Hella cancellations
So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat
Blue jean jacket and a maxi
Actually, tired and her legs are aching
Touched the destination
Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
She put the key in the door
She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor
Some size five trainers, raging
Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbors
And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise
And she can hear Jason's voice
Saying "Hide in the closet"
But he's made his choice
So, she bursts in saying "What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?"
Jason, saying "What the fuck, you're pregnant? What the fuck?
You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the fuck?
What do you want from us?
Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love
I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us
And also, I don't wanna talk loads
One more line before I dash like Morse code"
Open the wardrobe
And Jason's on the edge
"I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me
Maybe your baby's similar to me
Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me
To satisfy you quicker than me
I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me
What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me?
I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me
And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key"
I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me
Literally, I remember viscerally
Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me
White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see
I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me
Physically I shut the fucking doors quick as can be
He's outside asking why I made him do what he did
Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle
I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't
Jason's gone by the time police are comin'
They saw that ain't no one else in the house
And feds are running through the door shouting
"We have reports of an argument with a woman"
There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall
Lesley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds
She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head
If anything, she couldn't even say anything
But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is
So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this
Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle
Until they stumble on something that's kind of random
It's a phone in the wardrobe
They had five missed phone calls from Jason and also a couple other numbers
So they thinking that it's no help
Until they play the voicemail like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"
I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more
She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking
Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did
Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarrassing
She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison
Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it
Now she's waiting for an ambulance
Yeah
And I know she's strong, but when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked
Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked
They said her baby was the reason she was holding on
She dozing off, doctors getting no response
Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong
Picked her up, got her out the home and onto the stretcher for good measure
But she fading out, oh
She took damage to the brain and now she's in a coma as we speak
But I ain't sure if she can make it out
You see this time that I'm taking out to tell you the story is more than a song or track
It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped
I understand that I can never understand
And I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right
Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives
Are fucked aside and they will never touch on why
I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like-
Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye
This shit's awful, no matter what culture it ain't normal
Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault
In that train full of people that you're taking
How many Lesley's are running from their Jasons?
Angel without wings
Like the day without the night to bring her peace
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong
Like an ocean without a shore
A soldier without a war
How can we do this anymore?
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name
Oh, it's just wrong
Well, we've made a massive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we?
Feels like a long journey
And I must say it's been a pleasure, to watch you mature and grow in thought
And in your career and life
You've opened up immensely
I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions
But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself
So you're always welcome
I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel you understand your emotions
And are in control