The Odd Life of Timothy Green - Nostalgia Critic
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- čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
- I think this film used too much fertilizer. The Nostalgia Critic reviews The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Originally aired on 2/5/2013.
The Odd Life of Timothy Green is a 2012 American fantasy comedy-drama film starring Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton, Dianne Wiest, CJ Adams, Rosemarie DeWitt, Ron Livingston, David Morse and Common, written and directed by Peter Hedges and produced by Walt Disney Pictures.
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I feel like Timmy turner's dad would love this town. There's pencils everywhere and no dinkleberg
Timmy! I'm respecting your privacy as a child but asserting my fatherhood by bringing you to the party anyway!
I would give ANYTHING for this to be some convoluted origin story for the Turner family.
“And after that the girl they adopted grew up and married a man called Thomas Turner, who then had a son called . . . I dunno what Timmy’s dad was called, but the sadistic neglect gene was passed on and we got our show.”
That and both Timmy's parents are abusive neglectful, lying pieces of shit.
@@jacobtrowbridge6970 Timmy's dad's name was revealed to be Edgar, I think.
Yeah
That girl was more of a parent to him than his actual parents.
Damn straight! And they have the audacity to judge her for false claims their empty heads made up.
Scott Calo My thoughts exactly
the movie would have ben better if the child was a runaway orphan taking care of tim while learning responsability
Scott Calo
Yeah she and Timothy was the only characters in the movie I don't hate.
Jennifer Garner : LIAR 🤥!!!!!
Little Timothy's parents let him go to parties, force him onto the soccer team, lie about his talents, etc. Why? Apparently, so people will like him and be friends with him and stuff. But when Timmy manages to find a friend all on his own, said parents hate her up until she goes out of her way to prove that she's a good kid.
I don't think the parents actually care about Timmy. It's not that they want him to be a good, successful kid; they want him to be a good, successful kid _because of their actions._ They don't want him to have a good life, they want him to prove how great they are. But in doing so, they prove how horrible they are. Karma.
That's the point of the story. They aren't good parents. Timothy essentially is a practice kid given to them to teach them how not to be shitty. You fuck up, like, all the time raising kids, and this duo was so bad they had to have a throwaway to iron out some of their awfulness before they took a shot at their "real" one.
I think they do that yes, but not intentionally. They believe they are doing what's in his best interest by giving him what they wish they had in their lives. That's what all parents try and do essentially, his parents like others made the mistakes of doing it based off of what they know they want, and not thinking of what he may want because it's "they're responsibility to decide what's best."
I've had personal experience with that type of parent. They're not good, but they're not monsters either.
...Nah they're just stupid
Timothy McLean yea
+Links Between Drinks
...Damn... they're so bad they need to PRACTICE first?
...That takes skill. XD
I actually got an ad for weed killer while watching this.
L Bowler
Hmmm, you gotta take precautions just in case.
It's a warning from the gods
USE IT
It’s a sign
Lol what a coincidence
for those who don't know, this movie brought back the Nostalgia Critic
Speaking of that, in "The Review Must Go On" what was up with the raptor?
na, no one watched demo reel and his income took a hit... so NC came back
And that's why I'm thankful for this movie's existence. I'd like to think that it actually went the way he made it look in "The Review Must Go On". He saw this movie and felt compelled to review it.
TheOriginalDrachona You mean including the story within a story purgatory stuff? Because that would be awesome.
Tate Hildyard Yes, including that. I mean, it happens to everyone at some point, right?
I remember seeing the trailers for this, and thinking "I don't trust any movie that describes itself as 'the feel good movie of the year'"
That's a good thought.
Yeah, that's usually reserved for overly-saccharine nonsense that completely disregards reality in every conceivable way.
Well it’s a Disney film
Happy Ending? You want Happy Ending? I give you Happy Ending Yes?
Except Slumdog Millionaire (which was marketed like that). That was a legitimately good movie.
What if Timothy is one of Poison Ivy's mutated plants that she wanted to use as a backup plan against Batman but Timothy somehow ended up far away from Gotham City.
I'd believe it.
She’d be a better parent then these assholes.
This is canon and you can’t tell me otherwise
@@Jawesomness16 She actually would
*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*
I'd like to imagine that the adoption agency people are just stalling the parents so the cops can get there before the parents can leave
It's funny how the movie wants to portray the Green family as a loving ideal, but in the process creates a checklist of everything wrong with the worst of suburban middle-class parenting.
ya all they needed was to ignore their own child while texting on their phone and then itd be perfect
@@trueloveis4u Um "ignore their own child" ? but thy did that? they didn't give a crap about him they just wanted to feel like they were parents.
They never asked were he came from, what the deal with the sun stuff was, what was up with hes leafs, anyting about the girl and list just gose on. Heck I think he just had enough and told them some feel god stuff so he could get the fuck out of there, mabye grow in som other more deserving parents back yeard.
If they had had phones they would have been on them no doubt there lol
After watching _Miracles From Heaven,_ I am _so glad_ Jennifer Garner got to be a _good parent_ in a _good movie._
@@MouseGoat Lol honestly your theory makes the movie seem hilarious now
I guess in that sense it can be used as a study, but then the only thing of worth in this movie is how intrudingly wrong it is. So take that for what it is worth.
Nostalgic Critic made good points those parents are terrible.
Apparently Doug hated this in real life just as much as the Nostalgia Critic. In fact it was enough to bring him back from the plot hole.
+Patrick Donnolley That explains the neighbor's cat business, then.
+Aria Saeryen yah
+Al Hoyt They're stupid too.
Al Hoyt i never did realize until this review about that. Plus the not liking the girl, what the heck
That music scene hurt me so much I actually covered my face reflexively.
Also yes critic. They are high because they smoked their son.
That makes sense...they were trying to act like they didn't know almost took away all of his grass---I mean leaves.
I was the same way during that musical scene
I wish I got high instead of watching that clip
That was supposed to be music? I thought they were all having a stroke or something.
It’s scenes like that in stories that I can’t stand seeing; the cringe-inducing nature they produce is strong evidence (to me, at least) that you’ve done something seriously wrong. So wrong that the audience are clawing their eyes out and stabbing their eardrums with a pencil.
The parent's magically had clothe's to fit Timmy the night he was made!
Batteries weren't included, but clothes were!
*parents
*clothes
Apostrophes are never used for the plural forms of words
Where did they even *get* clothes for a 12 year old boy?
@@alexjewett7455 From a store, I guess
@@Darkko88 in the middle of the night?
"The Odd Terribly Disturbed Life of Timothy Green" pretty much sums up this.
I tried searching this but couldn’t find it.
This movie also makes the parents completely unlikable. They force Timothy into things he doesn't want to do, and without his permission, and they have an idea that it's not ok to be different.
And they're always contradicting themselves. They want him to make friends, which he does with the girl, and then they say they can't be friends. The fuck? They want him to stand up for himself, but they also want him to run away.
+Litten Kitten MishiMishi What does that have to do with it?
Mishi Mishi tangent there love.
Yay Yay specifically the "Autism Moms" and other "Autism Warrior" parents.
Sounds like actual parents lol
You know.. the concept of a couple unable to conceive writing down all the things about their kid that they know they won't be able to have could actually have been a very touching, sad and therapeutic kind of scene. Not in a "Grow your child in the backyard" movie, but a more serious one about a couple unable to conceive but also without the resources/money to adopt.
That I would actually like
But would it improve the parents behavior?
@@ChristianSuppes Depends on the kind of story you want to tell with them.
@@carrastealth I hope it does
The adoption agency woman is like, "So is this whole leaf boy story a metaphor or... Look this isn't necessary. We just want to know if you have a stable income, aren't on drugs and won't molest or abuse a child..."
I love how the adoption agency lady is pretty much the personification of the audience through the entire movie. All her reactions were the same as mine. It's probably the only good thing about this movie.
Except the whole, you know, letting them continue their story and allowing them to have a child.
i would have sent them to a mental ward after they told me the child was born in the dirt and had leaves on its legs
I would be seriously concerned that they kidnapped a kid and used the whole leaf thing to cover it up.
Well, Admiral Raan was always the most reasonable of the Quarian Admirals.
(Anyone play Mass Effect?)
The actress playing the agency lady also played the character Raan in Mass Effect. Sorry if you didn't get the reference.
She was also Commodore Paris in Star Trek Beyond
*ahem*
Mechanical pencil
*entire movie explodes*
I know this is ancient (by internet standards) but it should definately be the top comment
Erasible pens are Satan!
That was pretty funny.
directed by Michael Bay
*insert Drake and Josh “whoa man, just take it easy” pic*
Chia child, was one of the critic's best segments, so damn funny
Edit: wait, so the parents tell their tree-son that pencils (what he was made out of) are amazing
Hi Cy your probably my favorite character from the Lorax
That cat killing joke probably hasn't aged well now that he has 2 cats.
your right he might have put waffles in the ground and out came chaplin
Maybe he had 3 😶
N.C as a show in its entirety hasn't aged well... Milk left outside the fridge for years has aged better.
Didn't age as bad as that Nambla joke
@@theneighborskid3179 When did he make a NAMBLA joke?
These are the most irresponsible parents ever in cinematic history.
Polygon Man yeah they make Peter and Lois Griffin look like Fred and Wilma Flintstone
@@cartoonvideogamefan1399 Hell, they make Tywin Lannister look like father of the year
At least Lady Tremaine was responsible in making sure Cinderella did what she was told, even if it WAS overbearing.
Norman Bates mother is better than this
They make Timmy Turner's parents look like gods
DIDN'T YOU HEAR!? THE PENCIL IS ALREADY PERFECT!
+Tequilafilms Inc. Yeah, you can really only say that about Zuko and some Barbie movie characters. Zuko > pencils 5eva.
Wait, did you just dislike Zuko? Prepare to be honored (with fireballs).
+Tequilafilms Inc. No no no no noooo! I was saying that you could only ever say Zuko was perfect. I was saying how dare they say pencils are perfect when Zuko is far greater!
did you right this in pencil? No? THEN IT FAILS!
Aria Saeryen
I still got my eyes on you...
That cat joke is even funnier now, since he now has not one, but two cats.
2?? When did he get another?
@@Double-R-Nothing a week or two ago I believe. The 2nd one first appears in his review of Alpha and Omega.
His name is Buster.
@@bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257 You know, you can use correct pronouns. Buster is a boy.
yeah he used to have 3
@@Smasho8000 really? i couldn’t tell from the voice
I lost my shit when Timothy was drawing Garner’s boss and the audio from titanic plays.
The audio is gone now for copyright reasons. Dammit CZcams.
@@jeremiahhester6408 i thought my laptop's audio was messing up there lol
@@estheay3611 LOL, same (at the first time.)
This movie was so bad it made doug go back to being the Nostalgia Citic.
I'm not even mad, that's amazing
The fact that nobody cared for Demo Reel made Doug go back to being the Nostalgia Critic.
or like me i never heard of this demo reel
DarthRushy what is demo reel?
@@tr0nt They should've kept the show running with Nostalgia Critic. Why not say that Doug's two chatacters were the same person from different dimensions, and Doug's character from Demo Reel swapped with the real character, abd this one was really Nostalgia Critic making films as a form of a break.
@@b3rz3rk3r9 Because NC already burnt him out, doing both at the same time wouldn't help.
I'd adopt Malcolm. Having the devil/an assassin/bill as a kid? Sign me up!
Hell yeah!
Hmhm!
Don’t forget Black Willy Wonka
@@rickdaniel7341 but What If He Camalies Us
Oh yeah, good ol' Bill
Nobody tell this town about the Pen, that would put them out of business.
But it's permanent and you can't erase your mistakes. Just like a politician
Or about markers
"So... your argument is you f&cked up, you're GLAD you f@cked up, and you will CONTINUE to f*ck up in new and spectacular ways."
...I will not let this quote die. XD
I love how when he's underwater her first instinct is to take off his socks. "Oh hey this kid is drowning! Let me take his socks off first!"
Hahaha
Heh, you beat me to it. I have no clue why she did that.
Which raises another question: if she took off the sock and there were no leaves, would she have taken off the other sock?
probably lol
Iggycat95 I'd assume it's so there's no thick clothing pulling him down while she saves him. But even lifeguards won't do that until after they're out of the water, and only if it's keeping them from breathing properly. Otherwise it's a waste of time.
That's true dedication to your foot fetish, right there.
God, they're always finishing each other's sandwiches
that's what I was gonna say
+Houndoomgirl77 but didn't because
joe bob ?? No i was being funny by quoting the song
LOVE IS AN OPEN D....sorry
*slams door* now its not
Groot: The Origin Story
Groot had a far better origin than Timothy. Hell, at least the Giving Tree himself was Royalty on Planet X, a future leader of the Flora Colossi, and the last of his species left on a dead world.
Jennifer Garner : LIAR 🤥!!!!!
@@b3rz3rk3r9 Too right, man!
Or maybe groots stupid balding cousin
Wwwwwwow. Every stinkin' adult in this movie is awful. And I'm including the adoption lady cause she allowed the awful couple to adopt a kid after hearing all their awfulness.
The parents in this actually upset me. It's rare that characters can be bad enough to accomplish that.
I can't tell which is worse...
Timmy Green's parents...
Max's parents in Camp Camp...
...or Buck Cluck from Chicken Little...?
m-attique Hey you shut up about Buck Cluck! He was a single father trying to raise a troubled son, working a dead-end job and in the end, realised he had been making mistakes and immediately made up for it by charging an alien armada with son in tow to save the earth! That's parenting.
Well Alex Williams he: said he doesn’t believe his own son in public when his son tells him he saw terrifying imagery, he was more concerned about being socially embarrassed than anything his son would ever say to him about what he saw and gives his kid little positive attention or reinforcement. Isn’t that great parenting?
NiceGuy Productions What was he supposed to do? He was put in a very public and humiliating situation by his overly neurotic son and he needs to keep his social standing up! He's the bread winner in the house, and he has to try and be two parents in one. Besides, when he realised his own mistakes he was fully apologetic and goddamn charged an alien armada! Dude was like in his 40's! That's a good parent! Also, I think we've both gotten off topic here.
Here, allow me Alex Williams he could have; oh I don’t know, HUMORED THE KID!? He could have at least not dragged his son down further than he could have done himself by having his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD treat him like a crazy kid. At least he could have given him some respect. Plus social standing doesn’t impact any chances in work! So what if people chuckle at you? Your family is more important than how other people look at you! Plus his son is only over neurotic because he gets no attention! He wouldn’t be as socially awkward if his dad taught him...ANYTHING! He only had his own imagination to keep him company and now he’s such a nervous wreck that even Tidus would be embarrassed! To him as long as he had a social life his problems would disappear, and he should know that’s not how life works! I’m not saying he’s a bad character in theory, but in execution he became one of the worst parents in ALL MEDIA.
I lost it at *Chi-Chi-Chi-Child!*
Same
Ch-ch-ch-chia
B-b-b-bullshit!!
23:46 - ah, nooow I get it. Everything makes so much sense now. Damn shmuks never wanted a child in the first place, they just needed the socially accepted accessory to conform with the crowd and flaunt their inexistent superiourity towards douchebags like them. I never knew this was a documentary on Victorian era Britain, they could've said so from the get go and spare me the confusion as to wtf is going on.
Seems like social commentary on how Americans raise their kids
Where's my antinatalist gang?
Did you had to go so deep
Also what about a timothy green movie but from the perspective of the people that hated them like the dad and the other friend
13:58 "Theres so many girls" "it would be a mistake to focus on one fish"
These guys encouraging the kid to become a womanizer
I guess they are trying to say”you see that girl,she is off limits so get with someone else”
Son, think about the poor girls that don’t get to experience your presence. Don’t keep them waiting.
So? It's 2024...or whenever that stupid movie was made!
The movie was made in 2012
Why is the movie called the Odd Life of Timothy Green when he wasn't even alive for a month?
I guess its because that whole month was his entire life......?
Let's just say that when he died he was returned to xen where nihilimath (his real father) shall raise him. When he will grow up to wreck havoc on earth forever once the residance cascade begins. Be prepared. BUUUUUUM!!!!!
Because that month was his life.
Simple, no?
The number 1 is an odd number
That in itself is an odd life
I CRINGED AT THAT "MUSICAL" SCENE, OMFG!!!!
We all did.
Anthony Almodovar trust me, your not alone
So cringeworthy it turned you into a grammar Nazi.
Amelia Marion
Not even the Disney Channel? AN OFFICIAL DISNEY MOVIE!?!?!?
+mach6247 read it and weep
If you ask me just one reason to watch this movie, I would say this:
"There's Lin Manuel-Miranda in there, so I'll just watch his part and then shot the TV."
Just skip everything except the parts when Lin says anything.
FUN FACT: this is the first episode of nostalgia critic with an actual intro.
And the first appearances of Rachel and Malcom.
I remember I actually saw Doug Walker at a convention and somebody asked him why he saw this in the first place. THIS is the movie that brought the character back. Thank you, Odd Life of Timothy Green. This movie sucks, but at least it revived our favorite online critic. :)
Well? Why did he see it?
Sorry for the late reply! Doug said that he saw the previews for this movie and thought, "Eh, this looks corny, but it looks like it could make for a decent flick." His wife said, "Oh, I want to see this movie!" and as luck (or misfortune, depending on how you see it) would have it, the film was an inflight movie for Doug and his wife on a return flight from Paris. Doug kept thinking, "I should review this!" Oh, and don't you forget about those PENCILS! :D XD
Wow these parents are legit portrayed terribly just...who thought this was ok??? Were we supposed to like these parents? Laugh at it? It's just secondhand embarrassment cringe worthy and frustrating. I guess it's supposed to show them trying to learn how to be parents but still some of that stuff is common sense? Especially if they have been researching and trying to have a kid this long. And yea they never get better at it at all.
This movie had a cute maybe even scifi idea and just made it 1000% terrible!? (Love that chia pet joke in the middle btw omg
Yea sure seems that way! :'D I know it was being played for 'laughs' in the film but it was just cringey to me. Ug. Film making/writing fail.
im barely 10 minutes into this video and i already want to have ever person in that movie(with the exception of the adoption agency) lynched
ya u wont like the agency too cuz well as u probably saw by now they are dumb enough to give those moron parents a child
trueloveis4u so that settles it, the whole town is getting lynched
While the kid actor is, in my opinion, the best part of the movie, him saying "That is so true" at 17:45 made me want to put his head back into the ground
Is this kid secretly Kryptonian? A humanoid who can get faster and stronger by absorbing the light of a yellow sun?
26:40 They were always ready? THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE? The point of Timothy is that he teaches them how to be better parents, but why did he show up if they didn't need to learn anything? This one line makes me angrier than the rest of this god awful move! WHYYYYYY!?
Q: why was he there?
A: *commits suicide*
Im convinced that:
A: he never existed, just their hallucination
B: he just said something nice to claim them down, so he could get the fuck out of there!, after having realised just how horrible they were.
Humm, feels that when they say make mistakes or better mistakes, that should fill the opening and between the story telling part.
I find it just a narrative story telling with a non accurate visual left for the parents to create an entire different perspective on the story telling part.
"My apologies to the neighbour's cat..."
rest in pepperoni waffles the cat
That was a really tasteless joke. Even Jason Voorhees didn't hurt cats.
DarthRushy That's the joke, it was so terrible that it drove him to do this heinous act.
CreeperOnYourHouse I get the joke, in fact I would've laughed had he just been sitting there and then said "my apologies to the neighbours' cat..."
The blood on his hands was just a little too dark even for his show in my opinion.
+DarthRushy Christ dude, it's a joke. Nobody got hurt. It's called "black humor." And for the record, Voorhees kinda murdered dozens of people with no emotion. A cat seems like a step down for him.
I feel the way the two characters talk like they're in sync feels like they're telling a lie they are trying to cover. Or at least, try to not sound as bad as they are
All rise for the move that brought back the nostalgia critic.
How does a pencil made of leaves, which still come from trees, save trees?
*EXPLOSION!!!!* Mind blown!! That happens now!!! In a place called "NAIRL"(Not Anywhere In Real Life)!! It wouldn't make sense in fantasy either, but I'm sure Potter's got a spell for that somewhere...
The FirstBourne
I've only ever seen the first Harry Potter movie, but it sounds to me like the only spell in that series is the one that makes the plot move along.
Nothing\ Well, still...Harry Potter was far better than this movie.
The FirstBourne
That's not saying much. Food Fight was better than this movie.
Nothing\ Harry Potter was pretty good. True, it doesn't really say much now that it's a full blown franchise or whatever.
You'd think after a cliche was created by kicking the winning goal into your own net, soccer around the world would've made a rule saying this occurrence rendered that goal null and void, eradicating the chances of anyone ever using this awful cliche again.
From what I've seen of "list of things Hollywood always gets wrong" type things, not even _that_ would change it. People continued to talk about astronauts eating food from tubes twenty years after NASA switched to freeze-dried food, for example.
actually its not against the rules in soccer to score on yourself. its just ungodly embarrassing...considering the goals are 90 meters apart, there are multiple defensive players getting in the way, and you should know your own side of the field, AND an offensive player/ goal scorer, has no reason being near their own goal... it just shows your a crappy player.
ChasehaWing sometimes it is a defensive blunder tho. But yea that was pretty cringe
@@ChasehaWing unless you are harry maguire.
"Not by the hair on my chiny chin chin"
THIS IS NOT HOW GROWN-UPS TALK!!!
These parents can’t take a care of a plant but the orphanage allows them to take a care of a kid
"pencils are lead-filled goddesses of the universe!" I'll be sure to remember that the next time I sharpen one.
graphite!!!
Let us all remember the 3 sisters: graphite, charcoal, and colored.
LEAD FOR THE LEAD GODDESS, PENCILS FOR THE PENCIL THRONE!
That musical part was one of the most excruciatingly cringey things I've watched in a long time. I never knew my whole face could pucker like an anus.
Yeah that was cringeworthy
Cringe doesn't even begin to describe it.
This is the shitty version of Studio Ghibli's The Tale of Princess Kaguya
Holy shit. Nice and succinct. Bravo.
I planed to watch this film once, but GOD! This is the most oversaturated…. Garner and whatshisname are the most overindulged parents. You know they only hate that girl because she's older and they want their son to stay precious FOREVER
MagicallyIntuitive90 MagicallyIntuitive90 I think the dad is one of the Affleck brothers.
Well this was a bad movie that thought is was smart movie.
+Al Hoyt The worst kind.
It was a Jesus flick that wanted a Jesus could not get rights for Jesus so just went with this..
+Al Hoyt it tries to be whimsical, yet makes me enraged with every scene.
A movie that thinks it is clever and whimsical when it is stupid and ridiculous. Again, pretty much the worst. At least, say, direct to DVD mockbusters KNOW they suck, and we all hate them.
+ProbeVoyages Too right, too right.
odd life of vegetable tim
+Hana Quadri
No.
Fuck off.
+Golden Engi strange existence of snacks sam
what's eating Timothy's Green
+MrEnte3000 +1
+Hana Quadri *snikers at a snicker
1:43 Still one of my favorite Nostalgia Critic jokes. Perfect timing and delivery.
"You make mistakes, so you can LEARN from them!
Not so you can make MORE mistakes!"
All joking aside, this is one of the most important things Doug has ever said.
Draw me like one of your French trees
thurston james omfg lol
Why the hell does the lady not shave, wax, pluck do something to that chin?
7:36 Please tell me I wasn't the only one who went "I AM JESUS. I AM JESUS."
Actually at the angle he's doing it it's more like praise the sun \[T]/
+jack brearley Yeah I guess it's not quite like a cross, but I still like to think this shot is going for the symbolism. And the NC gag makes it all the more tempting to do so haha.
yeah, you are.
"Argh, i can't hear you over your obvious symbolism."
@@burntgrahamcracker2866 Now you can eat sunlight!
"Keep your cats away from me."
4 years later. He has two cats!
NC: Keep your cats away from me.
Years later he gets a cat.
LIn Manuel Miranda was in this, and that remains the most baffling part of this movie to me
So?
@@beethovensfidelio he was a friend of the parents, not featured in the review
BLATHERING BLATHERSKITE!
@@ponytailproductions2503 I was sad that no footage of him was shown in the review but the more I think about it, I prefer to imagine that might've meant that he was the one tiny little saving grace to this atrocity. Not enough to improve the film overall but not bad enough to be critiqued at all.
How… ODD!
(*Studio Audience Laughter*)
How did they even send him to school with no form of identification for him? I mean he doesnt exist as far ad records go
FireBomberBassist I want to be that child, having no government records sounds like heaven on Earth. No taxes, no selective service, no telemarketer calls...
Yes and no way to keep track of your medical records if you develop a serious ongoing illness, no way to identify you if you end up dead, no way for people to reliably identify you if you go missing, no way to get paid substantial amounts of money, no way to own property, and no way to prove that you even exist so that people can’t easily take advantage of you.
Nerdy George Washington Unless you are ready to live in the woods without any registered technology and having to build all you use.
I guess they live in the Pinocchio world of logic.
Work of fiction.
"Why not make a new kind of pencil?"
Mechanical pencil??
28:49 My reaction to Warner Bros making Batman kid-friendly
That’s where he yells “NNOOOOOOOO!”
Kind of awkward when you realize Batman was originally published in comics meant for young readers and children...
This is the perfect length for NC skits. There are no side plots and all the skits help add to the joke that he's currently making and if there must be side plots then it's better to only have it at the beginning and end of the review and only have short skits during the review.
7:36 Praise the sun!
+Jose Marques \[+]/
\(+)/
"GOLD SUN! GOLD SUN!"
+Jose Marques
\
\[T]/
|o|
| |
FUCK YOU! They just could not get the rights to Jesus so they go to go with a more dark souls like sine.
If I found out my son was hanging out with a girl even though he kicked her, I'd give him a high five
“Okay.”
“WHAT THE FU-?!?!?!?!?!?!”
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
24:41
11:56 As a groundskeeper, I have to correct you on this. Though similar, the mating dance of mulch involves more sliding than hopping.
I'd just like to take the time to remind present-time you that you actually said this.
EvilDylan Indeed.
Lee Thompson-Kolar What mating dance is that?
as someone who knows nothing about groundskeeping, I don't understand what you're talking about at all.
Lee Thompson-Kolar
Pffffff
Fun fact: My grandpa met the actress who played the mom, since they filmed in my town and she is a christian
Tdawg7 Lucky man. She is really pretty.
What does being Christian have to do with anything?
Because it took place at church, should of made that clear, sorry
Tdawg7 ya, but who cares?
Your grandpa met Jennifer Garner?
Why does this movie seem to have a pencil fetish?
On second thought.. I don't think I want to know.
I just realized, Timothy Green is probably one of the first Manic Pixie Dream Boys. Think about it, he fits all the tropes right down to not acting like a real person - even though technically he's not supposed to be I guess but that's to the film's detriment - and acting more as a fantasy tool for the parents to learn how to be better at life. It all fits! I also still liked the kid actor though, I thought he did a good job with a role that while overly fantastical did have some layers of emotion and love to him.
No I think The character maniac McGee, Might qualify And that came out long before Timothy green.
How exactly do leaf pencils work?
Don't question it
Your questioning that? I would question how a child grew out of the ground
+Terrader .....your reply made me laugh
Oh, that's easy. (Takes the leaf pencil and smokes it with a joint) in memory of the people who came up with such a stupid idea and that's how a leaf pencil works.
dip them in ink?
What's wrong with NAMBLA? Isn't it the National Association of Marlon Brando Look A-likes?
South Park fans should get this joke
But honestly NAMBLA is fucked up
+Dominick Veras Eric Cartman, the poster child for NAMBLA
Fun fact. Nambla(the pedophile one) actually exists. Let that sink in.
Dominick Veras 😂😂😂
Shit. I thought that was made up on South Park......that is....how is that even legal?!
I hate to be _that person,_ but the mom warning Timmy to stay away from Joni (I _only remember_ the girl’s name because it was on the note) and angrily confronting her seems _less_ like she’s protecting him from someone who may be a bully to or bad influence on him and more like she doesn’t want Timmy to have a relationship with _any female other than herself._ Like, she wants to be the _only female_ in his life. It kinda makes the mother-son relationship less like Norman Rockwell and more like _Norman Bates._
8:29
That unprofessional "WTF" at the bottom of the page killed me. XD
Better film than this with similar premise: "The tale of Princess Kaguya"
+Leocario shiny I was thinking exactly the same while watching this! Kaguya is a masterpiece.
this concept has existed for hundreds of years
+Liliputian07 Yeah, and "Kaguya" might have been the very first, seeing as the folktale is over 1000 years old.
And don't forget momotarō
@@Liliputian07 And despite that Disney still f***** it up
Wait so they're a couple who think mistakes exist to encourage you to make more mistakes?....my god....they're the Warner Brothers!
I’d actually say that they’re Nickelodeon
I misread that as "The Walker Brothers", and I wondered what brought that on.
Except the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister were more likable than Timmy's parents when they made mistakes.
Wow, you were hit by Apollo’s dodgeball, weren’t you?
12:25
Jacksepticeye : that's nothing. try breaking her ankle
Who's jacksepticeye?
@@somerandolad are you making a joke or are you really an uncultured swine?
Random guy watches the music scene, press's the stop button, ejects the DVD & tosses it out the window.
*Random Guy:* Time to watch a movie with more intelligence.
Random guy puts in Battlefield Earth.
question: You're trying to rescue a friend who's drowning, why take the time to pull down his sock?
BECAUSE WHY THE HECK NOT?
The plot demands it.
Curiosity, no one was around in the pool, and you'd probably never get the chance to see why the weird kid wears socks.
Also, she may have a thing for striped socks and/or feet.
Yeah! I was thinking he had every right to kick her since she went right to invading his personal space before anything else!
The cringe is strong with this one.
I only seen this reweiw, yet 4 seconds of these moron parents. is enough for me to just go Nope!
Every sceen is just awkward and full of jokes so bad you feel like laughing out of petty becuse they look like they dont know better.
And its just freaking grosse and horrible how the films portrays their clearly selfish and seemingly uncaring reactions as great parenting.
Completely missing the most important part of raising a child, as if children were just meant to be perfect outcomes of your wishes.
If you want to make a good movie about parenting, try starting with flawed child with alot of problems needing solving.
28:44 my reaction to one coarse meal
I’m just glad Chaplin wasn’t around when he saw this movie.
I mean how else would we get some memorable lines like:
“I’m Chaplin.”
And that it.
*>Holds up a pencil in front of an alien
How did you got an Alien? And the only true god is Lord Helix
Ayy lmao
What if the alien is weak to wood?
I have my own personal theory that the parents made up the entire story about Timothy at the orphanage and none of it really happened
And then the critic did a re-review but this time put it on the "Is this real" segment.
Is it because of Timothy being a plant.
No, they were just high as shit
Makes sense since Timothy being made out of a plant is unrealistic
And then they kidnap their 'new daughter' while the woman is in her office
22:48 That's why I put a 0 on the back of his jersey. Cuz he's a zero. I'm Coach Cal.
Coach cal got bribed
Coach cal likes money
In the beginning there was the word and the word was....
PENCILS!!!!!!!
If they eat timothy, is that like eating a salad?
Uhm.... maybe?
It'd be a House Salad. Grilled chicken and leaves.
If this review came out now I bet that there would be a Hamilton joke because Lin Manuel Miranda's in the movie!
That music scene is the most painful thing in a film I've ever seen... I fear for the safety of my cat...
15:45
Daaamn, not only are they making the child use the Wii Wheel, there's not even in Wii Remote in it!
So a Chia Child costs $1796.40... Expensive.
Adrian Lee and it takes 72 payments
Timmy's dad from the fairly odd parents would love this movie.
I would watch this movie just for Lin-Manuel Miranda
Why is Jennifer Garner always in these types of movies
Because of her last name.
Victoria Moreno she is always the mom type cast
She's probably a terrible actress