This Is Why Men Don’t Understand “Hints” From Women
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"I don't want to have to spell everything out like I'm your mother"
I don't want to have to pretend to know all of your needs and signals like your FATHER.
Amen!!
"Dont listen to what I say, listen to what I mean!"
@@mikaeljonsson4686Women out here expecting every man to be the kwisatz haderach
What this actually means is "I don't want to be my mother." Which is pretty close to "I don't want to be a mother." Which is essentially "I don't want to be an adult in a monogamous relationship." Huge red flag
Exactly Men aren't mind readers and Women aren't usually transparent 💯. Congratulations on your 700k subscribers 👏🎉. Learning is a natural part of life but keeping yourself in shape with good physical conditioning and fitness is crucial for healthy life and relationships. Men are expected to lead in the relationship with her, take care of themselves physically/emotionally and psychologically as well as be self sufficient because Women like Men who are better than them in certain aspects but are Women deserving of Men? Roma Downey is another CZcams channel with content like this. My ideal Lady would be considered a borderline imaginary chick nowadays with brains and beauty who is kind , accountable for their actions and words and doesn't hate people 😭💔. I really respect you Mrs. Ryan for at least trying to help Men and Women out in promoting healthy relationships, positive mindsets and growth in individual 🙏 ❤️. I'm a 24 year old single Christian virgin guy working as a teacher and counselor seeing unhealthy relationships in people occasionally despite being single myself because I'm succeeding alone in DA ZONE 😂. I've been watching your videos since 2021 so this lady's channel is really helpful especially on CZcams and social media. This has nothing to do with the video but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I'm a fellow Christian and Apologist but I'm also a college graduate. I'm not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God's Existence due to many real factors). I'm not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that's The Holy Spirit's job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There's actually evidence of God's Existence in Christianity. First of all there's proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He's The Divine Son of God because obviously they don't.
I'm going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God's Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. spoken of by Christ in Matthew 23:29-24:3 and returning to their homeland after The Holocaust with Jerusalem as their capital in 1948 exactly as Jesus The Christ said. The prophets including Daniel spoke of the time where several world empires would arise and fall including the Babylonian kingdom, Medes and Persians, Roman Empire, and Saladin and the Muslims which went in consecutive order for the past few millennia. The people of Israel becoming a nation after The Holocaust in 1948 (ironically the melting point of gold as God compares Israel to gold that's tested in fire in Zechariah 13:8 and Jeremiah 16:15) exactly how Jesus The Christ said would happen since God us everything to come in The Scriptures and not just because people were working towards as Atheists claim which are impossible for any regular man to predict.
Just before anyone says Christianity is a white man's religion made to oppress blacks during slavery you obviously aren't aware that the first Christians were Jews in The Middle East and that Christianity just like any religion can be used by evil and corrupt people to oppress others but you forget that the first Abolitionists/Civil Rights activists were Christians who sought to abolish slavery, racism, segregation, injustice and prejudice throughout American history. Jesus The Christ loves you enough not to give you what we all deserve which is God's Wrath by His Own Blood. Charles Darwin didn't originally come up with The Theory of Evolution over 200 years ago as it is mentioned in the writings of Ancient Greeks who believed in Demons that gave knowledge to philosophers.
Evolution makes no sense when nothing has evolved after thousands of years of human history and supposedly the first creature came from primordial sludge several millions of years
ago funny how they won't believe that God an Eternal Almighty Spirit Being created us from the Earth) which came from a supermassive expansion of matter at high temperature that inexplicably created everything in the known universe that supposedly came from nothing billions of years ago. How did the organs evolve before there were bones, skin, substance and how did any creatures see before eyes evolved? I've studied evolution and abiogenesis in the past and read Darwin's " Origin of The Species" and I'm not convinced of macro Evolutionary biology whereas I accept micro Evolution like speciation and adaptation but not macro Evolution because there's no evidence of it nor clear observable examples of it where living creatures evolve into other kinds of species plus the fact that fossils don't show evidence of evolution and genetic entropy rules out evolution. The question begs how did two genders evolve from a common ancestor with a perfectly hospitable and sustainable environment with breathable oxygen and resources to survive on inexplicably? Atheists have the burden of proof to explain how everything came to be and why our existence is possible without the Existence of God from an godless perspective just as Christians have to provide evidence of God's Existence and the validity of His Word.
Evolution requires life to already exist in order to take any effect in living organisms so it doesn't account for the existence of Life and reality. Also evolution is impossible because it goes against The Law of entropy and the second Law of thermodynamics because evolution makes things better whereas nothing continues to get better but decays and turns to absolute destruction in the end. Mark Ridley an Evolutionist said "No evolutionist whether gradualist or punctuationist uses the fossil record as evidence in favor of The Theory of Darwinian Evolution as opposed to special Creation". God's Existence is made perfectly known and observable in the universe as demonstrated in His Handiwork in the intelligently designed manner that Creation was made, human consciences and consciousness historical and archaeological evidence of God's Word being valid history, fulfillment of Bible Prophecies God in His Holiness and Righteousness could give us what we deserve in Hell for our since but He's merciful to give us free will to choose to accept or reject His gift of salvation by grace through faith in His Son Jesus. I don't mean this is any condescending manner but if you'd like to discuss The Scriptures with me or have me listen to your view on anything my instagram account is Savage Christian Kombatant
We shouldn’t have to understand “hints” from women. They should be adults and actually share what they’re feeling instead of trying to throw men under the bus.
Although most people would agree, women are still viewed as the vulnerable sex and it is a part of their nature to protect themselves because they are vulnerable. Modern women lack a sense of reality and that's why they are not as effective as their grandparents and their great-grandparents when it comes to communication or dropping hints. They think they are more creative these days yet they are moving backwards
Facts this
Thing is they do. If you get close and they back up. Don't follow give her space. She is using non verbal communication to say she is not comfortable with you being that close. Or if she is giving you boring responses or short responses then leave her be.
No lies detected. Gen-Z women have created a double-standard between flirting and "being creepy," and that space in-between keeps getting smaller and smaller.
THANK YOU we’re ADULTS for a reason it’s part of human nature that’s what women aren’t understanding. “Hints” for women is “I like to chase the attention.” 🙄
It's not that we don't understand hints, it's that we can't afford to misinterpret them. If we do we could get fired from our job or pilloried on social media. The downside far outweighs any potential benefits.
Absolutely.
I go to a public gym, and even when I think a girl is interested in me I don't approach.
Because if you had to put your head under a guillotine for an apple, even if you knew the guillotine PROBABLY wouldn't fall on you, you'd still be an idiot for risking your head for an apple.
@@Shiranui400I mean you’re already comfortably under the guillotine just by being a man in a gym at this point. You can’t even mind your own damn business without some clout chaser finding a way to string you up as a “predator” lately.
No, speaking from experience I definitely don't get hints lol
"How DARE you, CREEP?!?! She was just being 'nice'! Not every woman is trying to hint on you!"
I have absolutely 1000% failed to notice that a woman was hitting on me, mostly because I was dumb, but partially because as a defense mechanism it is safer to assume women aren’t hitting on me, so I become slower read into things
I've heard women say "just because i smile at you doesn't mean it is an invitation", and other women say "i gave him a hint, i smiled at him, but he didn't do anything". I suppose we are suppose to be able to deduce which smiles are invitations, and which smiles are somehow not an invitation at all.
Are you tall and attractive?
1) yes? yes.
2) no? no.
The smiles are usually not that common these days as more and more women put on this scowl that they believe makes them a strong woman. There's no telling if she has genuine interest or if she just wants a guy to approach her so she can shoot him down and stroke her ego?
For me when it comes to this, I always just live life on my own terms. If a women freaks out at me approaching her because I’m interested in getting to know her or because I find her attractive then I don’t really care. Attraction isn’t innately wrong. I have an admiration for women I find pretty, so what? And if a girl reacts negatively to me approaching her in a respectful way. Then that’s her loss. I think at the end of the day as long as you’re not being a creep and still trying to pursue a woman despite her efforts at telling you she isn’t interested. I see no problem. Can’t take peoples opinions/words as factual
@@tann_man bitter short king detected
@@ColonelHoganStalag13, Scowl. 😂
I was given many hints, but it turned out that they were "fake hints" intended for the "guy behind me" or for their amusement. Plus I'm too old to deal with this silliness.
Well don't feel bad, because even when they are genuine, they sometimes only do it for validation. They just want you to approach and then make up an excuse as to why that time doesn't work for a date. You leave it alone, thinking maybe you misread her. She continues the eye contact and the subtle comments. This can go on for quite a while. There really are some women who just crave the attention and could really care less about anything meaningful.
Too old do deal with this silliness. Well said, Sir. Sometimes I gripe about getting old, but it has it's blessings... Like not giving a damn about the silliness, and nobody expects me to. It's very liberating!
@@eyerollthereforeiam1709 damn right it is! At 62, I get it; I feel the same way.
That's what I always assume.@@ColonelHoganStalag13
Women are security seeking creatures (according to Dr. Robert Glover), so if you are not looking to provide $ecurity in exchange for companionship and the illusion of love, then you are making the right decision.
First 15 seconds I’m getting screamed at like I stole something from her
Hahahaha
Couldn’t get past the first vid, yikes
That's what happens when people have a passive communication style. (Passive communication is probably more common in women but also common in men.) First get bothered by a recurring behavior. Then be reluctant to communicate it for whatever reason, most commonly not wanting to be disagreeable and pretending everything is okay. Get more and more bothered by thing that isn't getting fixed. Finally, reach a breaking point where you can't take it anymore and start communicating by treating the small thing as if it's a crisis. Ironically, what that lady was frustrated about was that her passive communication style isn't working; her delusion is that she thinks it's reasonable to expect it to.
Idk why she was so mad at me lol I didn't do anything wrong 😂😂
Yeah, anyone not doing what she wants is taking her plausible deniability away from her. And her ability to have a "clear conscience" if she changes her mind about a one night stand or other encounter she regrets later.
In a quiz or game, a "hint" does not always mean that the person getting the hint will get the answer correct.
And when it comes to women, the penalties for an incorrect answer can be quite massive.
I don’t play that game with women. I don’t have a shred of guilt if I miss something she refuses to communicate.
I remember in college there was a girl in my friend group that came up to me one day and asked me why I never tried to do anything with her. I responded in a puzzled look and said I didn’t know you were interested in me.
She responded by saying she gave me all these hints when we were at this party a few weeks ago. I told her that I’m not looking for buried treasure. Hints and riddles don’t work. If she was interested she should have said something.
Even if she did I doubt I would have tried anything with her. She was kind of crazy. But still hints don’t really work. Just tell us.
Ironic that she gave all these “hints” that didn’t work but just telling you later directly made it clear immediately. If she learned from it she would realise the 2nd approach actually worked at telling you she liked you
The second time was also a hint for you to ask her out, and you essentially rejected her.
@@user-vx1up7ty7z usually by then it's too late, they'll fess up that stuff, but if you try anything at that point, it's too late, the ship has passed.
@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 she liked him a few weeks earlier at the party, her telling him she was dropping hints doesn't mean she still likes him on the day she told him, probably not any more. If he tried anything at that point, she probably would have rejected him.
@@bpint695Nah dude. That's pretty damn direct. Guy is just dense or not interested in the lady lol.
Speaking as a paramedic, the medical example hit the nail on the head. Always be honest and direct with your healthcare providers. Moving on, "I can't read your mind and you can't read mine," was something I started telling my wife at the very early stages of our relationship. It's great advice for anyone in any stage of a relationship. Thanks for highlighting this issue.
This seems ridiculously obvious to me, to the point that when I *do* go in to see the doctor, I'll tell him up-front about the main issue and then I'll often mention the "minor issues" because they might be relevant.
What I’ve found frustrating through conversations with women, friends and exes, is how terrified they are of asking a man out because of potential rejection. Yet they can’t understand that guys are just as afraid of rejection and so often have very little to go on, such as “hints”. Women’s success rate if they asked out men would be 90 percent plus whereas a guy’s is closer to 10 percent.
Modern Women by and large talk a lot, but have no game.
my success rate as a man is almost 100%. Granted I only really go for girls that already seem interested 😎
10 percent? Geez you must be rich, tall and good looking to have that much luck
????????????? it's normal to be able to tell if someone is interested in you or not. I think the people that have 0 percent success rate doing this kind of thing legitimately have autism I don't see a better explanation
@@matt566 no, no it's not. Either you are tall and rich, or you can read people far better than most.
Here are all the hints I need: Excessive piercings, tats on the hand, hood on indoors. No need to stick around and guess at any more "hints".
Her friends are "hints" about her too. Whom she surrounds herself with can provide broad insight into who she truly is, as well. 🤜🤛
Don't forget the dagger-like fake nails.
Yep. Too much makeup, fake hair, eyelashes, nails are hints for me she's high maintenance and I don't need to get involved.
Spot-on. And it tells a lot about Courtney that she even reacts to her.. and gives her the attention and airtime on her channel..
Add ugly glasses to that list.
*under fire from enemy machine guns* "Boy, it sure would be nice if someone could take out those gunners, don't you think? What are your thoughts? Jefferson, you're a good soldier, maybe you could think about seeing if there's something you could do about that? I mean, you shouldn't have to do it alone, though. Maybe a couple of other soldiers could perhaps join you? I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Yeah, I have no idea why men don't deal in hints. Truly mysterious.
There are women that will say it's "creepy and weird" if a guy even looks at them and yet at the same time guys are generally expected to initiate just about everything from the first conversation to physical intimacy in the dating process. Even post me too. And they say dating is supposed to be "fun".
In reality it feels like trying to traverse a minefield that's covered in eggshells and laser traps just to get to the job interview portion so that they can see if you're "good enough".
"Creepy" has become the girly synonym for simply "disapproval" or "unwanted".
EXACTLY!
Any "creepy" behavior would be welcomed if she thought you were hot.
Lol till she is moved from the van to crime scene 2.
Then she finds out what creepy really is.
Creepy literally just means "unattractive appearance."
keep telling yourself that, boy.
My previous romantic relationship ended because of lack of communication. You cannot expect someone to know what is in your head if you don’t communicate it in any clear way
Many women seem to imagine that they CAN read your thoughts.
Early in our relationship, with my now-wife, many times when there was friction it frequently wasn't about anything I said or did, but what she believed I was thinking. And so many times it wasn't even close to being true.
It's been 21 years and things have gotten a lot better, but it was maddening to clash over things that didn't even happen.
The funny part is they think they can read our minds yet are completely puzzled when we truthfully answer the question "What are you thinking about?" with "Nothing."
They cannot comprehend we indeed can slip into a nirvana-like state of mind and think about nothing in particular. It's almost like male and female brains work entirely different on a basic neurological level...
As Preach says, "Use your words. USE! YOUR! WORDS!!!"
Aba and Preach are so based
Amber and Peach are clowns though
THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! HE CAN HEAL YOU OF ALL YOUR ANXIETY AND PAIN AND ILLNESS AND MAKE YOU WHOLE AGAIN IN JESUS!!!! HE LOVES YOU BRO!!!! DO IT QUICKLY BROTHER PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE JESUS MADE THE WAY THROUGH HIM IN HIS PERFECT LIFE ON EARTH TO FULFILL THE LAW AND COMMANDMENTS OF GOD THE FATHER AND HIS SHEDDING OF HIS BLOOD AND DEATH UPON THE CROSS TO ATONE FOR ALL OUR SINS AND FOR ALL OUR PERFECT COMPLETE HEALING IN SPIRIT, SOUL, MIND, AND BODY OF US ALL INCLUDING YOU BROTHER; AND BY CHRIST JESUS RESURRECTION FROM THE DEAD BY THE POWER OF GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT TO DEFEAT THE DEVIL'S POWER OVER DEATH SO THAT WE MAY ALL HAVE NO LONGER NEED TO FEAR DEATH AND GOING TO HELL FOR IN CHRIST JESUS WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE IN HIM CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR OF NOT JUST US BUT THE WHOLE WORLD ALL MANKIND!!!!
SO DON'T BE AFRAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE EXACT WORDS YOU SHOULD SAY BUT JUST PRAY AND ASK GOD CHRIST JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!! JUST SAY IT AND MEAN IT FROM THE HEART WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART "GOD JESUS IF YOU ARE REAL REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME SO THAT I MAY KNOW IN MY HEART OF HEARTS THAT YOU EXIST AND THAT YOU ARE REAL AND LOVE IN THE NAME OF JESUS I ASKED AND PRAY AND DECLARE AND DECREE THIS LORD GOD! AMEN AMEN!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!! IN JESUS'S NAME!!!!!!!"😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇
@@benross9174THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! HE CAN HEAL YOU OF ALL YOUR ANXIETY AND PAIN AND ILLNESS AND MAKE YOU WHOLE AGAIN IN JESUS!!!! HE LOVES YOU BRO!!!! DO IT QUICKLY BROTHER PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE JESUS MADE THE WAY THROUGH HIM IN HIS PERFECT LIFE ON EARTH TO FULFILL THE LAW AND COMMANDMENTS OF GOD THE FATHER AND HIS SHEDDING OF HIS BLOOD AND DEATH UPON THE CROSS TO ATONE FOR ALL OUR SINS AND FOR ALL OUR PERFECT COMPLETE HEALING IN SPIRIT, SOUL, MIND, AND BODY OF US ALL INCLUDING YOU BROTHER; AND BY CHRIST JESUS RESURRECTION FROM THE DEAD BY THE POWER OF GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT TO DEFEAT THE DEVIL'S POWER OVER DEATH SO THAT WE MAY ALL HAVE NO LONGER NEED TO FEAR DEATH AND GOING TO HELL FOR IN CHRIST JESUS WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE IN HIM CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR OF NOT JUST US BUT THE WHOLE WORLD ALL MANKIND!!!!
SO DON'T BE AFRAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE EXACT WORDS YOU SHOULD SAY BUT JUST PRAY AND ASK GOD CHRIST JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!! JUST SAY IT AND MEAN IT FROM THE HEART WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART "GOD JESUS IF YOU ARE REAL REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME SO THAT I MAY KNOW IN MY HEART OF HEARTS THAT YOU EXIST AND THAT YOU ARE REAL AND LOVE IN THE NAME OF JESUS I ASKED AND PRAY AND DECLARE AND DECREE THIS LORD GOD! AMEN AMEN!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!! IN JESUS'S NAME!!!!!!!"😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇
@@nickc3856THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! HE CAN HEAL YOU OF ALL YOUR ANXIETY AND PAIN AND ILLNESS AND MAKE YOU WHOLE AGAIN IN JESUS!!!! HE LOVES YOU BRO!!!! DO IT QUICKLY BROTHER PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE JESUS MADE THE WAY THROUGH HIM IN HIS PERFECT LIFE ON EARTH TO FULFILL THE LAW AND COMMANDMENTS OF GOD THE FATHER AND HIS SHEDDING OF HIS BLOOD AND DEATH UPON THE CROSS TO ATONE FOR ALL OUR SINS AND FOR ALL OUR PERFECT COMPLETE HEALING IN SPIRIT, SOUL, MIND, AND BODY OF US ALL INCLUDING YOU BROTHER; AND BY CHRIST JESUS RESURRECTION FROM THE DEAD BY THE POWER OF GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT TO DEFEAT THE DEVIL'S POWER OVER DEATH SO THAT WE MAY ALL HAVE NO LONGER NEED TO FEAR DEATH AND GOING TO HELL FOR IN CHRIST JESUS WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE IN HIM CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR OF NOT JUST US BUT THE WHOLE WORLD ALL MANKIND!!!!
SO DON'T BE AFRAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE EXACT WORDS YOU SHOULD SAY BUT JUST PRAY AND ASK GOD CHRIST JESUS INTO YOUR HEART!!!! JUST SAY IT AND MEAN IT FROM THE HEART WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART "GOD JESUS IF YOU ARE REAL REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME SO THAT I MAY KNOW IN MY HEART OF HEARTS THAT YOU EXIST AND THAT YOU ARE REAL AND LOVE IN THE NAME OF JESUS I ASKED AND PRAY AND DECLARE AND DECREE THIS LORD GOD! AMEN AMEN!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!! IN JESUS'S NAME!!!!!!!"😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇
That first lady doesn’t sound like a hint dropper.
Her hint is glancing at you once and then looking away
More like bomb dropper. And she is no lady.
She doesn't sound anything remotely like a 'lady'!
@@eyerollthereforeiam1709, 😂
No, she sounds EXACTLY like a hint dropper.
Here's the passive communication life cycle: first, get bothered by something. Then, for whatever reason, either don't communicate that bother, or communicate it very poorly. Repeat this step multiple times, getting more and more bothered. Then teach a breaking point, declare the small thing a major crisis, and begin communication in high drama crisis mode. Then high drama (often the guilty pleasure motivating the entire communication strategy). Then blaming everything on someone else. Then go back to start to do it all again.
Btw the difference between this and passive-aggressive is that passive-aggressive maintains a little drama all of the time by using sarcasm, little verbal barbs, etc. It's more focused on control and manipulation. Passive communication on the other hand is frequently mislabeled as "bipolar" even though bipolar depression cycles last for at least weeks, usually months, because passive communicators act like nothing is wrong until all of a sudden it is, then back to everything being great, etc
This is CORRECT! As I get older I'm more literal. If people say things they don't mean, I'll act on that. Then when it backfires, I'm like, hey, that's what you said to do. I don't have time to spoon-feed people. LONG AGO there was this girl I had as a friend. Never thought I had a chance and didn't want to ruin the friendship and I was shy so I never did anything. YEARS LATER when it was too late, she told me she felt the same and she was dropping many hints. HINTS!!!! I NEVER saw anything close to HINTS about being together. If she would have came out and said how she felt, we would have been together. HINTS!!!!!!!!!!
I saw one video where a girl was explaining the difference between a "go away look" and a "come hither look." I could not tell the difference, other than the fact that she sipped from the cup she was holding. Do you know which one is which because of a sip of liquid? Because I never would've guessed that meant anything beyond "I want to drink this liquid." She didn't even smile or anything. Just kinda glanced up a couple of times and then looked away. No difference at all between them.
Hell, the woman who was giving the reaction to the video was just as confused as I was and had no idea, either.
I am not in favor of hints, but don’t be too hard on the girl. She probably didn’t want to ruin the friendship either.
Let’s just call this what it is. The “hint” is just a litmus test of sorts. A purposely vague and veiled concept to test and see if you are willing to subject yourself to her mercy and control. If you take the hint you are effectively sticking your neck out and giving her POWER. You give her the power to decide the outcome… in that moment she gets to decide if you are chad or a creep. If you play it safe and decline the implied “prize” you refuse to play her game and therefore strip her of her apparent power. That’s why they get so mad… smart men don’t take chances with their futures… and don’t play Russian roulette with life changing circumstances “implied” by some mentally unstable twitter zombie.
Need to be clear, purposefully does not necessarily mean consciously, as its a leanred behavior over time that social media and weak partners bred. Im sure there sre more contributing factors.
Unrealistic expectations create assumptions and those assumptions create "unmet needs" which turns into bitterness/rensentment. Thank you Courtney for being a warrior and sharing this insight while experiencing the flu. I am Praying for a fast/speedy recovery and for protection in your situation. Blessings!
If you remove the quotes from unmet needs then I wholeheartedly agree. Passive communication is self-sabotage, plain and simple. It'd just be sad if they weren't also blaming the consequences on you.
The problem is women are disproportionately guilty of trying to communicate with hidden assumptions. Men can't meet their fantasies if they aren't articulated.
A lot of guys are conditioned to think that any possible "hint" isn't a hint. Anything other than "I like you" will not work, and even a matter of fact "I like you" might get confusion out of the guy.
I failed to pick up on a few hints over the years, from a girl in middle school writing her phone number in my yearbook to a girl in my senior year of high school asking me if I was gay. It took me until college to realize what was going on. Being conditioned out of it all was a major drag on my self esteem for a while.
Imagine going into the ER, suffering from a GSW around the heart cavity and you are literally dying. When the doctor asks you "What's wrong? How can I help you?" You just give them "THAT" look. The doctor gets confused and turns to his assistant saying, "loss of speech, or perhaps loss of hearing, maybe she is suffering from a concussion or a head injury" and the assistant takes notes of the situation, noting each thing the doctor says. The doctor then turns to you and thinking you may have not heard him says, "WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!" and you look to the left and tilt your head as if to indicate to your friend to look at that cute guy over there, but the jokes on the doctor because you are actually hinting down toward the GSW in your chest. The doctor turns to his assistant and says, "It appears there may also be some sort of neck or spinal injury. Perhaps she was in a car accident and is suffering from whiplash." This goes on for even a few more seconds, if you are lucky, and you bleed out...
You died simply because you refused to grow the heck up and act like an adult.
Had no idea what GSW meant until i got to "and you bleed out!" Case in point.
The same women that are mad that men don't understand hints, are most probably the same women that get harassed because someone took something as a hint. That's not how flirting or at least not on this generation, works, it's ruined. I'm just afraid asking a woman for a date simply because they can easily call it as harassment when in reality you just wanna go for a talk to see if you match just a bit with this person. It's just so frustrating.
Even if she's the one who initiated it at every step and pushed hard, making it clear in no uncertain terms (even _if you say no_ but she forces you), if she regrets it later, she can sic the law on you and you're screwed. And not in a fun way.
In a nutshell, be direct and straightforward. No one should ever be afraid to talk to anyone. The key lies in knowing HOW to say it.
This is why I left the "hints" game at home early on in my dating life. Men I had a intrested in were all schocked by my blunt no game approach but they all came back telling me that the one thing they really like about me so there... I guess if women were more blunt and no hints men would be happier and less confused...
Based
It's a guy's dream, not having to deal with the deliberate vagueness.
I think it works for some women. Others probably just couldn't do that even if they half wanted to
If we don't assume, we are "penalized" and asked to assume, but then when we assume wrong we are again "penalized". I think you hit the nail with the romanticized expectation and the need for communication. As a man, I think the best way is to communicate what I understand and ask if what I assume is what she is feeling. It's still a risk, but it both acknowledges them and leads a communication with them at the same time. It takes a bit of discipline but fun once you make can a habit of it.
"I'm thirsty" = "Bring me a glass of water"
"I'm cold" = "Bring me the comforter from the bedroom"
"I don't know what I want for dinner" = "Pick a restaurant for us, take the leadership roll so I don't have to"
"I had a bad day" = "Stop what you’re doing, attentively listen to me talk for 30min while validating me, conclude with “No, you're not crazy"
“Do you think my best friend is attractive” = Red alert, this is a “shit test”, give her a non-answer and change the subject. Never bring it up again.
We need a damn decoder ring
Thanks
"I'm not that hungry" = I can't decide what I want so I'll eat from your plate.
I disagree with the “I don’t know what I want for dinner” assessment.
When you pick a place the default answer is “Are you sure you want that? or “Really?”. Picking places until you eventually get around to where she had in mine all along.
Women are so draining unless you just don't give a damn.
My mother doesnt give me hints. she tells me exactly what/when/why she wants something from me and i just get it for her if its in my means.
9/10 my mother gets what she wants from me because she uses her adult voice and cuts out the fluff.
If the woman in the ticktok was actually like my mother she would have a higher success rate. and be less pissed off for no reason.
True, my mother is very clear and direct as well😂
She want something, she ask for it very clearly and I give her time when it will be done.
She find my behaviour undesirable - we talk as adults and sometimes I change it at least partially.
You are so lucky.
Thank you for putting that so articulately. I'm a man of 62 and I still have problems. I wish somebody told me that back in my twenties. I've been socially challenged my entire life. Women still scare the crap out of me. But I keep trying like a fool.
A pertinent question is “why does she want to communicate in just hints, rather than just saying what’s on her mind?” - the question quite a large number of men ask from time to time...
In some cases it seems to me the woman wants to claim she “never said that”, so she can’t later be pinned down as having actually said a clear want or feeling. I’ve known women who never say anything precise, but keep everything they say vague: everything they say suggests something, without commiting to an actual assertion or request. it leaves the option of backtracking or denying stuff later.
If this sounds like I’m describing a dishonest way of conducting onesself, then ...um..sorry, but I think it’s true
That tracks with the women have no accountability thing
I think there’s a word for this: circumlocution. Mobsters talk like that (sometimes): “I didn’t tell Frankie to “hit” Sal. I simply asked him to resolve a situation…”
@@fryncyaryorvjink2140 accountability: I may have encountered persons who - having done something wrong, would say “I don’t know how it happened/it just seemed to happen, as if I was looking at it from outside”... They go terribly vague & confused, as though they don’t know what came over them.
Someone having a one-night stand when married to someone else will trot off lines like this, to diminish their responsibilty. Bit more difficult to do this when they’ve been lying in a calculated way to conceal a long term affair.
Then, too, it’s interesting how the narrative changes. I used to (for some reason) read the relationship advice columns in newspapers & magazines: occasionally a guy would write in whose wife was having an affair. It was remarkable how the advice given was always that “women often have an affair when they don’t feel loved enough in their marriage/relationship” - going most of the way to the position that it’s the husband’s fault if his wife has an affair. It tended to be his fault if *HE* had an affair, too.
Ala, "plausible deniability" ...
I absolutely IGNORE hints. I think I catch half of them now. And if I catch a girl trying to "HINT" anything to me, I immediately write her off as mentally unstable. Because I don't want a relationship with a woman who bases our relationship on me having to "take the hint".
G-T-F-O-H with "HINTS". Speak your mind or disappear.
The all time classic that men can relate to with girls on a date or in a relationship:
Woman: "I'm hungry"
Man: "Yeah, me too. Alright, let's go to [fill in name of favorite Mexican restaurant]?"
Woman: "I don't want to eat there"
Man: "Okay, where do you want to go?"
Woman: "I don't know. You pick something."
Man: "How about [fill in name of favorite Italian restaurant]?"
Woman: "No, we ate there like two weeks ago."
Man: "Well, there is always [fill in the name of favorite Chinese buffet]?"
Woman: "No, that place is gross."
Man: "Well where else do you want to eat?"
Woman: "I don't know. Pick something."
And then women complain that men don't want to make plans with them or that they don't even ask and just assume they must like that restaurant. We don't read minds and with no real feed back, it is hard to even guess what you're thinking.
My real favorite is when women make sustained eye contact with you across a room but refuses to smile. You first dismiss it as maybe something's wrong because she's not smiling. It happen a couple of more times and you are confused, "Does she want me to approach her? Why does she keep making eye contact? Do I look funny?"
You really expect men to approach you with that RBF? Men don't mind you being subtle but you could at minimum put some effort into trying to be an adult. I didn't know for months that a particular girl has a crush on me because she wouldn't smile or try to talk to me. I just did my best to ignore her. Finally a mutual friend had to tell me that this girl was just waiting for me to ask her. A little effort ladies, just a little effort.
My rule is you only get two vetos before it Uno Reverses to your choice.
It's pretty easy for me to deal with this problem.
If she keeps putting the decision to eat on my shoulders I immediately ask what does she usually eat and then pick something similar but different enough, narrows it down significantly enough for an easy choice.
But then again if she is that stupid, I might just end up arguing about something else instead.
@wzardglick I just tell them, "well, I opened the floor to your suggestion. So, if you're not going to pick, I will and I don't want to hear complaints."
The sustained eye contact without a smile means she wants you to do everything a male preying mantis does for his mate.
Thats when you always ask them to guess where youre taking her. Her first choice is usually what she wants.
There’s a woman in a store I go to. I’m very shy, but she checks me out often and I freeze up. When she rings me up I feel “chemistry”, but being divorced I am especially careful… I will also be leaving soon to work a summer job, which has me indecisive. You have a great show and it’s refreshing to see the woman’s side which is refreshing! Thank You
Women want clarity from them but they get to shield themselves behind hints and vague gestures or comments which shields them from accountability .
They want ZERO risk but and ALL the possible benefits so it 'costs' them NOTHING. I think the word for that is a COWARD.
Something I hear quite a bit on dating podcasts about who should pay for the date is "Whoever asks should pay for the date"; giving 'hints' is a way to avoid asking.
Why would that even be a subject?
I’ve heard many mythical tales of the men who never pay for the date. Or who always go Dutch. I wouldn’t even know how to do that. I’ve always paid for every date I’ve ever been on. Even in long term relationships. I just thought that was how it was supposed to be, the guy always pays.
@@jcstefan7 I feel sorry for you that the women you attract are all just the ones who does if for money. Try to find one who does it for love..
@@andersnielsen6044 lol, thank you but trust me, they’re not dating me just for the money. I’m quite poor so they’re not dating me for my money, but I do have enough to pay for the dates. We’re not talking about expensive dates. Dinner at a casual dining restaurant and maybe a movie, that sort of thing.
@@jcstefan7 You are just another cash cow.. That is for sure !
even when we notice hints from women we don't want to act on them because if we misread her being nice as flirting we are seen as creepy
First time I dated my girlfriend I was quite upfront with it and told her I suck at reading hints, and that clear communication is essential, she understood it and we've had a lovely and healthy relationship ever since 💖 It's all about being empathetic and open about how you feel, sometimes women, and men too, just need to be heard, not given a solution, and asking your partner in what way you could help them is much better than screwing up with misinterpretations.
I prefer women to open up and communicate with me and express how they are feeling
💯💯💯
So what you say is that you prefer men..
@@andersnielsen6044no, prefer women who can actually use that intelligence they claim to have.
@@Kyle-fp5lm By claiming them to come down to your low intelligence level, where you need things to be stated out clearly? That is not how women work, and as you do not like that - you are not into women.
I think this is what bamboozles me when some women say they want someone with good communication or emotional intelligence . I think it’s solely to understand these “hints” and “subliminal communication “which leads me to the point that they can’t properly communicate.
"Emotional intelligence" is not a real thing. It is as good as saying "dry water" or "wet fire." 🙂
@@pmaitrasm emotional intelligence is real it’s just more so an intangible quality
@@AB-lb4zv, Disagree. It is a modern day buzz word that everybody uses and nobody understands.
Emotional intelligence - aka the adjective 'emotional' qualifying the noun 'intelligence.' Intelligence can never be emotional. Intelligence is objective. Emotion is subjective.
Exactly Men aren't mind readers and Women aren't usually transparent 💯. Congratulations on your 700k subscribers 👏🎉. Learning is a natural part of life but keeping yourself in shape with good physical conditioning and fitness is crucial for healthy life and relationships. Men are expected to lead in the relationship with her, take care of themselves physically/emotionally and psychologically as well as be self sufficient because Women like Men who are better than them in certain aspects but are Women deserving of Men? Roma Downey is another CZcams channel with content like this. My ideal Lady would be considered a borderline imaginary chick nowadays with brains and beauty who is kind , accountable for their actions and words and doesn't hate people 😭💔. I really respect you Mrs. Ryan for at least trying to help Men and Women out in promoting healthy relationships, positive mindsets and growth in individual 🙏 ❤️. I'm a 24 year old single Christian virgin guy working as a teacher and counselor seeing unhealthy relationships in people occasionally despite being single myself because I'm succeeding alone in DA ZONE 😂. I've been watching your videos since 2021 so this lady's channel is really helpful especially on CZcams and social media. This has nothing to do with the video but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I'm a fellow Christian and Apologist but I'm also a college graduate. I'm not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God's Existence due to many real factors). I'm not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that's The Holy Spirit's job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There's actually evidence of God's Existence in Christianity. First of all there's proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He's The Divine Son of God because obviously they don't.
I'm going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God's Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. spoken of by Christ in Matthew 23:29-24:3 and returning to their homeland after The Holocaust with Jerusalem as their capital in 1948 exactly as Jesus The Christ said. The prophets including Daniel spoke of the time where several world empires would arise and fall including the Babylonian kingdom, Medes and Persians, Roman Empire, and Saladin and the Muslims which went in consecutive order for the past few millennia. The people of Israel becoming a nation after The Holocaust in 1948 (ironically the melting point of gold as God compares Israel to gold that's tested in fire in Zechariah 13:8 and Jeremiah 16:15) exactly how Jesus The Christ said would happen since God us everything to come in The Scriptures and not just because people were working towards as Atheists claim which are impossible for any regular man to predict.
Just before anyone says Christianity is a white man's religion made to oppress blacks during slavery you obviously aren't aware that the first Christians were Jews in The Middle East and that Christianity just like any religion can be used by evil and corrupt people to oppress others but you forget that the first Abolitionists/Civil Rights activists were Christians who sought to abolish slavery, racism, segregation, injustice and prejudice throughout American history. Jesus The Christ loves you enough not to give you what we all deserve which is God's Wrath by His Own Blood. Charles Darwin didn't originally come up with The Theory of Evolution over 200 years ago as it is mentioned in the writings of Ancient Greeks who believed in Demons that gave knowledge to philosophers.
Evolution makes no sense when nothing has evolved after thousands of years of human history and supposedly the first creature came from primordial sludge several millions of years
ago funny how they won't believe that God an Eternal Almighty Spirit Being created us from the Earth) which came from a supermassive expansion of matter at high temperature that inexplicably created everything in the known universe that supposedly came from nothing billions of years ago. How did the organs evolve before there were bones, skin, substance and how did any creatures see before eyes evolved? I've studied evolution and abiogenesis in the past and read Darwin's " Origin of The Species" and I'm not convinced of macro Evolutionary biology whereas I accept micro Evolution like speciation and adaptation but not macro Evolution because there's no evidence of it nor clear observable examples of it where living creatures evolve into other kinds of species plus the fact that fossils don't show evidence of evolution and genetic entropy rules out evolution. The question begs how did two genders evolve from a common ancestor with a perfectly hospitable and sustainable environment with breathable oxygen and resources to survive on inexplicably? Atheists have the burden of proof to explain how everything came to be and why our existence is possible without the Existence of God from an godless perspective just as Christians have to provide evidence of God's Existence and the validity of His Word.
Evolution requires life to already exist in order to take any effect in living organisms so it doesn't account for the existence of Life and reality. Also evolution is impossible because it goes against The Law of entropy and the second Law of thermodynamics because evolution makes things better whereas nothing continues to get better but decays and turns to absolute destruction in the end. Mark Ridley an Evolutionist said "No evolutionist whether gradualist or punctuationist uses the fossil record as evidence in favor of The Theory of Darwinian Evolution as opposed to special Creation". God's Existence is made perfectly known and observable in the universe as demonstrated in His Handiwork in the intelligently designed manner that Creation was made, human consciences and consciousness historical and archaeological evidence of God's Word being valid history, fulfillment of Bible Prophecies God in His Holiness and Righteousness could give us what we deserve in Hell for our since but He's merciful to give us free will to choose to accept or reject His gift of salvation by grace through faith in His Son Jesus. I don't mean this is any condescending manner but if you'd like to discuss The Scriptures with me or have me listen to your view on anything my instagram account is Savage Christian Kombatant
Emotional intelligence is a choice. You can choose to ignore or act on. I will say it’s part of human evolution but not everyone uses it.
A woman who only wants the man to take the risk and vulnerability is one of the most unattractive things to me. After years of frustration over situations like the rant from the lady in that video I could finally pinpoint why this is so unattractive. It just leads to the woman being in a convenient position of being able to critique while the guy incurs the initiative, the risk of rejection, the mad dose of vulnerability, and so on. It really is BS. Communicate like an adult, not in a freaking cipher. No, I don't know have the time to discern a sigh from a guffaw from a tsk to a scoff to a smirk. Talk, damnit.
"Relationships aren't a game"
It's pretty sad this even needs to be said.
My wife gave me the silent treatment for about two weeks. To be honest, I figured she was not feeling well because I was unaware of anything I did wrong. Turns out, she was pissed off at me. I asked , about what? Her response " if you really loved me you would know". Okay? What does that mean? Well turns out she had a dream that I cheated on her with Jennifer Aniston. I explained how that would never happen, so she needed to.forget about it. Women?
There's just one explanation for why men don't understand hints from women, and it's a very simple explanation: 1) Every woman has different hints, and 2) men have other stuff to focus on that they _must_ do or they will get fired/evicted/imprisoned/etc. Deciphering your hints is a free-time activity, and a man doing it is a luxury for you, not a bare necessity.
Honest, direct communication is an *adult* behavior.
As usual, love the video.
There isn't a single man who hasn't misread a hint from a woman. Every guy has his story. I was a waiter at an event venue that handled mostly weddings. Most of the time the guests ignored us unless they wanted something. One time I was setting up chairs in the dining hall when one of the bridesmaids came in to ask questions. I was polite, answered, and moved on. I would have just forgotten like usual except during the dinner she approached me numerous times to ask questions, not about the job or the place but about me personally. This was the only time anyone ever approached me to ask about something that wasn't just getting them food or drink. We had several conversations throughout the night and seemed to hit it off. I was honestly surprised since I'm fat and ugly, the groomsmen and other waiters all looked a lot better than me, and she was so gorgeous she could have any man. I tried to ask her out but nothing came of it and things seemed amicable. Two weeks later I get called into the boss's office with a letter from that party's bride saying how the bridesmaid was terrified for her life because of me. It took all my effort to not be fired from that horrible minimum wage job. So no, I no longer go by "subtle" hints alone cause I don't want a random woman trying to get me fired and possibly arrested again.
Something similar happened to me. Thought we were closer, friends, etc. Did friend things. Hit with allegations.
I was literally told by a female guys should read their minds. And following after that she said you are reading my mind right now. I was speechless because I was like this is why I say nothing to females and I just act like they don't exist.
"And following after that she said you are reading my mind right now."
Unironically what the hell did she mean by this? How did you interpret this?
For years we've been told that a smile and friendliness is not indicative of interest, but sometimes in fact it is indicative. Better to err on the side of not being a creep than deal with their bs
Yeah, we need this. Way too much. Thanks, Courtney!
Your face at 0:29 made me snort!
It really sucks that you’re having to deal with an individual that’s making you feel unsafe. Generally, most of us guys aren’t like that and I’m glad that you’ve acknowledged that fact too. I hope your situation gets resolved soon. 👍🏾
Thank you for this video. The book: “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is great at diving further into this specific communication contrast. 👏🏾 An old book that still applies today.
Deborah Tannen's books on communication styles is far more useful. Her second book conventrates on make vs female communication styles is "You Just Don't Understand."
(note, she doesn't cover "hints" such as "slightly longer than usual -- for her -- eye contact" and other stuff that keeps these single women dateless, because that's NOT communication, it's miserably ineffective attempts at telepathy.)
Less than 5 years after that book was published John Gray's wife divorced him. That's AFTER his social status (one of women's primary "wants" in a husband) increased due to his name being known throughout the country after the book being set up on display at book stores throughout the country and his appearance on numerous TV talk shows.
So if his book hadn't been promoted to the hilt by the publisher, and therefore he wouldn't have become semi-famous, how much sooner would she have divorced him?
Thanks so much for posting this, I've been feeling really beaten down, I made the mistake of taking some things my girl said at face value only to find out too late she was hinting she wanted the opposite (???????), and she was so upset she left me... This video does make me feel better.
Sorry to hear you're dealing with some bad people out there, I hope they get dealt with and you can feel the safety you deserve to experience.
Courtney, this is excellently articulated, is a short video, and you get straight to the point.
I have daughters in their twenties and grandchildren in their teens and pre-teens, so I watch your videos, and others like them, in part to sharpen my communication skills for when I need to communicate relationship advice to them all. This is awesome advice! Thank you.!
Had a woman tell me she wanted to go do something "with that fkd up tone you girls do i said go then have fun" she said she was asking me to go with her i said you didnt ask me anything you TOLD me what you wanted to do i did not want to do it and seeing as you didnt ask a question you told me a question i dont understand that!!
Contrapoints's Twilight video hit this perfectly, the idea of "disavowal." Some women have this baked into everything they do, the idea that it's gauche to be as demanding as they wish to be, so if they never actually ask for something, they can't be held accountable for wanting it. An unspoken expectation will be an unmet one.
Thank you for sharing your experience with men truly being creepy, and not just being seen as unattractive and approaching in a respectful way. A simple “no thank you” is usually enough for mentally stable people.
If women want men to take or understand hints then they must also understand that men need to be confident in social situations (which social media is not good at helping with as well as the variety of things that lower a man's testosterone in society) and they must also allow the trial and error of getting things wrong so they can learn what these social signals mean. If you think a man getting a signal wrong is worse than waiting for clear communication then you are part of the problem and need to learn to communicate clearly.
Us below average and average males get baited all the time with so called hints...females have used these since the days in the playground at school as a form of physiological bulling. As males we become aware of this and in many cases as adults we notice it and simply ignore it because when females say " can't you take a hint" it can mean 2 totally different things from come here to go away....
“Can’t you take a hint?” I used to answer, “No. As a matter of fact, I’m dense AF and I can’t…”
I can only hope whatever makes you uncomfortable or whatever creepy stuff somebody is doing to you comes to an end ASAP! Your voice is so much needed in this day and age where men and women are being seperated more than ever before. Good people like you are precious ❤
Thank you! you just said my biggest fear that stopped me from ever approaching a woman since I was a teenager. I heard women and girls say how hard it is to have creeps pushing up on them all the time and I believe it. So out of courtesy and kindness I never approached them because I never wanted to be part of that burden. Unfortunately now I am an adult with no clue on how to start a relationship.
Hi Courtney. So sorry that you are going thought a difficult time now. Stay strong and you will get thought this. Thank you so much for all your great video's, you help so many men to understand.
What a nightmare that woman would be to deal with.
You are such a great person, I’m sorry you’re dealing with creeps I hope you are receiving the proper protection and care til matters get resolved.
I think you are spot on with respect to many issues. Risk taking like asking for a date scares lots of good guys off. Our culture still expects the men to lead. Many shy guys won't.
Ms. Ryan, I have found your videos to be very informative and insightful. it is very refreshing to see a woman look at men with an open mind. Seeing our faults and our merits. Thank you for looking at the male/female dynamic with a calm, rational, logical eye. Sorry about your "creepy" situation you were referring to. Hope it all works out.
He got the hint... his answer was: "NO, get thee behind me Satan". Mature men will not answer to childish ways of communicating. These men know to avoid women who communicate this way. What she does at the beginning of the relationship will continue later into the relationship. This is past being a red flag; this is a detrimental and cancerous way of communicating that destroys relationships.
One of my boundaries is clear communication. That is, I would strongly consider walking if I'm being lied to or if they think omitting facts or giving half-truths is fine. I know it's not quite "giving hints" but for me, it doesn't really model effective communication. Because of that, I purposefully ignore these hints.
That aside, I hope you feel better soon
I’m too grown for hints. We all went to Public school to understand and speak the Language that we speak for a reason. Use. Your. Words
You hit the nail on the head Courtney. Thanks.
So proud of my men! Keep it up. Women never understand how tired we are of their hypocrisy, now they do. I love it!
Thank you anen
Excellent points. Accurate and reasonable verbal communication should be a one of the top priorities in any relationship, personal or professional. Do we communicate with our significant other as clearly as we do in the workplace? Imagine a routine of telling a supervisor when asked a reasonable question, “I don’t know” or “You should know what I’m thinking.” Your family deserves as much and even more than others.
whenever I hear a woman say "I want a good communicator" I immediately hear "I want a mind reader."
Read my mind!
@@CJRelationshipConsultingcouldn't read my ex's mind...at least I could read yours 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I and my now ex-wife went to an adult toy store to get something interesting, she stood in a corner looking at a bunch of stuff, turning her head every which way. I asked what she was looking at/wanted, no response, none, she just stood there looking. I picked an item I thought would be interesting and she exploded that I don't know what was going on and stormed out.
Job done ✅
Courtney, Social media, I think we can all agree, has inflicted more people who are off the chain. Instead of sitting back and analyzing the situation they are in, these individuals refuse to use common sense. You hospital generalization was on the money. Adults acting like adults, instead of children in an adult body, would solve alot of socieities problems.
Hope you get well soon, and I wish you all the strength and support in your situation. You always bring me hope, and inspire me to try to be the best man I can be.
Thank You for addressing this , Courtney! Hints, and trying to interpret them from women are one of the key reasons why I went MGTOW 16yrs ago. Not to mention the game playing behind "playing hard to get". That was extremely frustrating for me. So I stopped trying a long time ago just b/c of the constant rejection & misinterpretation. Even when a woman's 'hints' were positive(something which was extraordinarily rare in my case), and all I got was confusing answers if I did bother to approach. I quickly grew tired of questioning myself whether or not she actually meant 'no', OR she wanted a greater effort from me always seemed like a waste of time, along with the unnecessary risk of being labelled a creep not only by her even after just ONE attempt, but also to the women around her that I might have also found attractive. I've always made great efforts to not creep anyone out: Men or Women. I used to feel guilty that I considered myself on the socially clueless end with regards to social interactions, esp. with women. But over time, and talking with other men(much to my own relief), I found out for myself that I was not the only guy who struggled the same way I did with regards to females' chosen methods of communication & social interactions. My decision to go MGTOW 16yrs ago was one of the best things I've ended up done for my own mental health, and emotional well being long term!! Avoiding so much unnecessary frustration and confusion. Like most men, I used have the desire to find a woman to whom I could be good to, and share my life with. That desire is long dead. Nowadays, Whenever I hear women complain that they can't find a good man(something I hear more & more often as time goes on), I just laugh on the inside at their loneliness and move on. I even ignore women when I go out in public. I automatically assume that in some way or another, it was the woman's fault why she's still alone. I made many careful considerations before I committed to remaining single, and going my own way, but I've rarely ever voiced any regret over my decision. And I still believe I did what was best for me. I just assume that no woman wants me, and keep to myself. I'm glad I've learned about female nature after going MGTOW, I would much rather have peace & quiet. Companionship from a female is not worth the headaches they bring.
She could just be straightforward, but why are we giving hints like it’s a game of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Also, the noserings aren’t helping.
Noserings might as well be an ankle monitor. It just tells me you're screwed up without it coming out of your mouth.
Correct. And yes, few things are as unattractive as stuff poking out of noses. Just, yuck.
I have NEVER been able to get a hint and I AM SO happy.
Preach it girl! Thank you for making this video.❤
Sorry to hear that you’re going through this right now Courtney. I hope everything blows over and whoever is bothering you gets a life and moves on. Please stay safe.
After several long term relationships and great girlfriends in my lifetime, I still don’t have any clue how to perceive any “hint” a woman has ever given me - apart from the very obvious ones. There’s this cute girl at the Red Cross who acts like she hates me every time I go in there, and I have absolutely no clue why. 🤣😂😂 Like I don’t even look at her most of the time when I go in there to donate, because she clearly hates me. If she’s trying to “hint” at me anything other than she despises me, I have no idea what it is (literally an example from earlier today).
Stay safe Courtney. Hope this issue gets resolved.
Hi! I'm a new subscriber to you channel. Your approach to the content/topic area is refreshingly civil and balanced. There are a lot of channels/videos on the topic and one thing I've found common is the absence of addressing the question of why men and women date in our current day and age. You had a video seven months ago ("Most Women Don't Realize that THIS Is Why They're Single") where a woman expressed that women don't need men for anything. In the reaction you mentioned "building a life" with someone. Is it a given that people date to find someone to "build a life" with? The woman in the video I mentioned is right in the sense that as late as the 1960s women still faced social challenges that forced them to be dependent on men for income. In the developed world, women don't have that challenge anymore.They don't need men for that. She mentioned something about physical connection - I can only guess she's alluding to the fact that men are terribly idiotic when it comes to sex. Up to 80% of women in heterosexual couples don't orgasm where as about about 5% of women don't orgasm in lesbian couples. I'm sure you can use your imagination on what the lesbians use/do to attain orgasm (something men fail to do - casual short "visits" do not count). All that to say - I recommend you explore this aspect of dating; the "why" of dating and perhaps help illuminate some of the reasons why it's a mess for so many people out there.
An eight-month relationship I was in ended about a month ago. I’m a 73 year old man and she is 66 and we are both widowed. You’d think that at these ages we’d know how to communicate. Sadly, such was not the case. She constantly gave me mixed signals and hints about our relationship which I told her I didn’t understand. We took several trips together (with EVERYTHING that entails) and she still couldn’t tell me where she wanted the relationship to go. In the end, I’d finally had enough and she actually thanked me for breaking it off. Maddening!! Women, STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH MEN’S EMOTIONS!! Geeez!!
You crossed 700k 😱 Congrats Courtney🥳 We need people like you on the front lines of the culture war
Women "hint" even when they aren't interested.
It's an Ego boost, a power rush, to know they've "still got it."
It's also good for a laugh.
Smart men who value their career, their freedom, and their physical safety (ever been pepper-sprayed?) know it is in their best interests to ignore "hints," "signs," "signals," and my favorite line of bull***t, "body language," and just assume either he "read" it wrong or she's just playing.
My wife of 26 years, whom I met at work 28 years ago, told me she was interested by snatching my keys as I was leaving and told me I could have them back if I asked her out.
I had been wanting to for a while, but it NEVER would have happened if she hadn't been clear, honest, and DIRECT.
No "hints."
Just told me what she wanted, like a big girl.
Works wonders.
More women should try it.
Really! I married the first (and only!) woman who ever clearly communicated an interest in me. I stopped “taking hints” nearly 40 years ago, when the consequences of misinterpreting seemed far less dire than they are now.
I like watching all your reviews Courtney. This one In particular, is on “point”😏. I’m a good looking, charismatic guy that had a head injury, and in reflection, a guy that struggles through TBI, i cannot always understand social cures. Most women need to be a little more logical and direct. There have been times when I talk to someone who’s showing interest, but I don’t read it at the moment, and another miss.
Me being direct, has women acting like girls and view me as a creep. Wtf!!! 🤷🏼♂️
Totally nailed it on "why men don't act on hints"
The outcomes of misunderstanding a hint are so undesirable and uncomfortable that it's really not worth the low probability outcome
It's not like we're 100% oblivious and miss all of the hints. You think back and wonder if it was intentional or unintentional, decide you'll never have confirmation and move on with your day
It's a response that's primarily conditioned by how popular media talks about us. Maybe it's just a loud minority
I think if women took their hints just a few steps further than very subtle gestures they'd have more success. It doesn't have to be 100% forward but something more than toe-in-cold-water commitment to it would be refreshing
Some hints are obvious like when girls keep purposely bumping into you, play with their hair or touch you every time they get a chance. Physical hints work but being subtle and playing hard to get over text is just tiresome and toxic. I’m not going to “apply pressure” you’re either interested or you’re not the games are childish.
Courtney, I want to take a moment to commend you for directly letting viewers know that you also deal with uncomfortable things at times. I am also glad that you mentioned that you feel that most of the interactions you have on this channel are positive, and I have faith that it will stay that way. I have learned a lot from watching your videos these past few years, and I am always open to learn more because your channel produces the best content on dating and fashion! Many thanks for all that the fantastic work that you do, and stay positive, my friend.
I think straight forward communication is the best way. I used to be with someone that just dropped hints and expected me to know but when I assumed it backfired on me. Next relationship I will let the woman know to just be straight forward so that we can reduce the potential for misunderstandings. I will do my part as well in being straightforward.
Great advice and insight. Thank you for making these videos it definitely has helped me with communication and my emotional intelligence. Btw hope you feel better soon too.
Hints positive or negative are hard to interpret , such as telling someone that an age gap is why you are not being pursued.
And women wonder why we ha e stepped back from the dating game.
What I was told when I made this exact complaint on Twitter was that for thousands of years, if a woman calmly and clearly said that she’s not interested in a guy, a non-zero percentage of the time this would be met with him killing her. Therefore women have gotten out of the habit of speaking clearly for their own safety. I am blind and they still think that I need to understand their subtle signals. This is a problem for all of us. how did our grandparents ever figure out relationships??
Great video.
Correlation is relevant. For both direct communication as well as hints.
Hints are important, but also nowhere near as important as direct communication is. They can help limit the amount of individuals capable of picking up on what may otherwise be a message meant only for 1 particular person while within a group setting, e.t.c.
Correlation and the amount of it found within whatever context or type of communication taking place is what can either encourage or discourage doubt/uncertainty when trying to draw conclusions as to what the messanger actually meant by what was said/communicated. If this correlation is intentionally limited, withheld and incorrectly displayed, then the expectation that this subjective portrayal of what the message actually was is then entirely uncertain and now any number of conclusions are fair to draw from such an intentionally uncertaian line of pseudo-communication.
If you've actually read this far down, then you're probably pickin' up what I'm puttin' down.
If a girl likes you, then she is going to be with you no matter where you come from, how much you make and how you live a luxury lifestyle. You will start to notice her moves and intentions. 🤝
Love this video! Very unhealthy expectations are not the move. We are grown.
The entire dating/mating environment has severely broken down. I'm glad I'm older and past that because everything has dramatically changed for the worst. I know so many younger people; guys who are so afraid they are paralyzed for fear of ruining their careers and public humiliation (so end up with great careers, completely financially set but alone), and gals who keep asking where the good men are (and are so critical and demanding that they too end up alone, even if financially secure).
As a society this is unsustainable. No matter how great your career is or how much money you've put aside or the great house and cars you have, if you are alone that's the end of the line, for both you as well as society. We are already well below the birth rate necessary to keep from population collapse, and none of our systems, infrastructure or safety nets are prepared for that. Not to mention the vast army of bitter, lonely people that will be out there.
I don't know what the solution or solutions are but am hoping that people like you, Courtney, can help get to the bottom of this and start a correction back to where men and women can get together again and connect meaningfully.
when me and my ex broke up it was a total shock to me. when I asked why didnt you say something, she said "I hinted there were problems". this from a woman who I literally couldnt tell when she was mad at me as english was her second language (almost perfect) but her inflection was always totally neutral. Most of the time I thought she was taking the mickey which most of the time she was.