THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES
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- čas přidán 22. 03. 2021
- Case ########-27 An exploration of hospitality. Recorded by The Archivist in Situ. Content warnings: - Sudden, loud SFX - Emotional manipulation - Bullying / Taunting - Gaslighting - Disorientation (Spatial & temporal) - Pleading - Arguing - Second person POV - Perceived child neglect (inc SFX) - Character death.
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Edited by Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall;
Written by Jonathan Sims;
Directed by Alexander J Newall;
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies;
Performances: "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims; "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall; "Helen" - Imogen Harris; "The Guest" - Jenny Haufek.
Sound effects this week by 13FPanska_Cerny_Jan, AderuMoro, alienistcog, Along12, Anthousai, baryy, bennstir, bone666138, BonnyOrbit, cclaretc, cyoung510, daboy291, eminyildirim, EverydaySounds, Fission9, fmceretta, FreqMan, fritzsound, FunWithSound, Hitrison, InspectorJ, jacobsteel, jeremixogg, karinalarasart, Kinoton, klakmart, kyles, laft2k, laurenmartin236, leonelmail, lewis100011 LudwigMueller, manpriyamy, mlsulli, musicandsoundyay, nikitralala, o_ciz, Oberon81, Omar Alvarado, patchytherat, paulmessier, postworkflow, rachaelbuchanan, sacredmatt, sagetyrtle, sforsman, soundmary, SoundsForHim, SpliceSound, sturmankin, Suburbanwizard, tedlundwall, Thalamus_Lab, ThatMisfit, wavecal22, Yoyodaman234, OGsoundFX, LoafDV, YleArkisto, dobroide & previously credited artists via freesound.org Additional sound effects from www.zapsplat.com Music - Corny Christmas Sitcom Opening by fmceretta available on Freesound. freesound.org/people/fmcerett... - News End Signature by mansardian available on Freesound freesound.org/people/mansardi... - Manic_No_Depression by Jeremy Korpas, available from the CZcams Audio Library music czcams.com/users/audiolibrary_... - Final_Boss by Myuu, available from the CZcams Audio Library czcams.com/users/audiolibrary_... - Fallen_Soldier by Biz Baz Studio, available from the CZcams Audio Library music czcams.com/users/audiolibrary_... - Survive_the_Montage by RKVC, available from the CZcams Audio Library music czcams.com/users/audiolibrary_... - In The Middle of July Music Loop by rhodesmas available on Freesound freesound.org/people/rhodesma...
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"Currently unoccupied, just in case you and Martin were looking for a room~" Oh Helen, you dead gaslighting queen of ours
Helen saying that to an asexual is so perfect
Oh my god i love your profile pic
since she just said that the hote IS her, when she said that i went like "yo- YO WHA- EW HELEN WHAT THE FUCK, NO!"
@@matheusribeiro4733 SAME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, HELEN
Ally
RIP Helen, mourned by none but Martin in-universe but by many a-door-ing fans of the podcast
I find Michael's end so tragic, he was fighting off his own nature, and thats what got him destroyed, he was "a face that stopped smiling" and he was SO close to stopping Elias, more than anyone else in the series
They way I understand it, The Distortion twists it's victims and then wears them, not as a fusion, but rather as a suit. This suit may use some of the victim's personality or memories, but only through the purpose of confusing and spreading fear.
What happened with Michael is that The Distortion DIDN'T choose to wear him, they rather got fused and ended up with the original Michael being able to shine through and manipulate The Distortion's will and actions.
The Distortion DIDN'T want Jon dead, they wanted him to be alive cause they knew to some extent that Elias's ritual required Jon alive and would benefit them. Now, Michael didn't want the ritual to happen, he wanted to keep the balance, to have no one win. And thus we end up with Distortion!Michael trying to kill Jon, because he "didn't want neither the circus nor the archives to win". He kept helping Jon to stop other entities, but always planned on killing him to stop the archives. A very interesting detail is that Distortion!Michael didn't lie to Jon, even when he was "the throat of delusion incarnate", while Distortion!Helen did, which to me signifies how Helen Richardson was never a part of Distortion!Helen
But at the end, Michael pushed too far, he went so against it's own nature, "let feelings that shouldn't have been his overwhelm me [The Distortion]" which allowed The Distortion to take back control, choosing Helen, a friendlier face to replace Distortion!Michael. But this face wasn't Helen, not the way Michael Shelley was Michael. Helen is 100% dead, and so is her personality. While Distortion!Michael's personality was a mix of both Michael and the Distortion, Distortion!Helen was just The Distortion tricking all of us into thinking that it worked the same way Distortion!Michael did. Helen was the ultimate gaslight, and I only realised this with this episode, and I feel most people gloss over how magnificently written The Distortion's nature is
God, I love reading in-depth analyses of things like this. This was a beautiful thing I hadn't even considered!
i am on my 5th time listening to this series and i think i only just understood all that
that's such a great analysis and explains to me (at least personally) why distortion!micheal was so much more alluring as a character than distortion!helen. it always felt like she became more... hollowed out that michael did, that there was less and less of helen to a much more extreme extent than with micheal. micheal was more of a fusion, while helen was genuinely more like a possession. both were still great characters, but I felt like you could see the leftovers of humanity within micheal much more than helen. brilliantly written!!!
I've spent countless bus rides thinking about how The Distortion functions and this explanation is the most perfect theory I've heard and made ne finally understand the entire concept. It makes perfect sense considering how Michael explained his existence to Jon when the circus kidnapped him. Also how it was even able to happen because Michael Shelley entered Thr Distortion during thr ritual, when it's vulnerable and managed to find it's center because of the map
That makes so much sense
OH MY GOSH HELEN'S RUNNING COMMENTARY AS JON DOES A STATEMENT!!! HELEN!!! XDDD I LOVE this episode.
me, putting on a heavy black veil, tears streaming down my face and artistically ruining my eyeliner: i cannot believe jon archivist sims has killed my sweet, precious, innocent wife. this man is a rampaging lunatic and he must be stopped at all costs
Jon: this thing is the embodiment of false friends and deceptive kindness. of those who prey on those who love them.
The fanbase: But she was such a kind friend! I loved her!
@@JH-cp8wf i pretend i do not see it
@@JH-cp8wf She'll be sorrowfully missed.
sisters, we shall avenge our classy door wife
@@Arya-el9ps YES
martin i'm trying to kill the distortion but she's dummy confusing and the clap of her doorways keeps distracting the ceaseless watcher
i fucking hate this LMAO
@@alabaster_rox that's just what the web wanted you to say
how do i unread this 💀
Under rated comment 😂
@@sageb3026 look if it gets seven more likes then i'm satisfied
Literal chills. LITERAL CHILLS. I always knew Helen was... Well, bad, but it was so fucking hard to dislike her! Isn't that the mark of an excellently crafted villain?
The most toxic enemies are the ones who pretend to be your friends.
Not really. She was malicious and fake as they come. If you met her in real life, she'd feel cringey. Its the performance people liked.
every time jon and martin call each other their boyfriend i start sobbing
gay people,, they exist,,
good for them, good for them
God this is a mood I feel on the daily
@@faxonii THIS MADE ME WHEEZE
Everyone in the notes calling Helen their deceased wife is valid
I can’t believe we’re all widows 😔
girlie said notes like this was tumblr
I never trusted Helen but did love her
Rest in peace, annoying queen
Jon narrating how the woman finds him and interrupts the statement was so good. And his "Don't touch me!" could mean so many things! Helen obviously suggested it was because he now thinks regular humans are beneath him, trying to make him give into his more monstrous side. But really this is one of the few times he and a "statement giver" have any sort of real contact. He can't put up any sort of psychological boundaries to their suffering because she's right here begging him for help and it could've just freaked him out. Also a lot of the Marks he got had to do with physical trauma, so some hellscape stranger grabbing him in a frenzy isn't going to be taken well.
I got a bit angry at Jon for that one. But, honestly? I would’ve freaked out too if someone crying and pleading started touching me…I think ur assumption about his ‘Marks Trauma’ is spot on, but it can also be just under the scope of showing us that Jon is losing himself lil by lil and is getting all too evil :((
Very late but I think he might just have a problem with touching in general? Especially since he was kidnapped by Nikola and they lotionned his (very unwilling) body for a full month while he was trapped... We didn't get any further details about that afterwards, but I think its safe to assume that since they wanted all of his skin, it wouldn't just be hand lotion or whatever...
The idea makes me sick honestly
Yeah I totally agree, his tone absolutely came off as in disgust, which caught me off guard. But seeing this comment... it recontectualizes it a bit. He yelled not in disgust, but in fear.
ah that makes sense, I was really really thrown off when he yelled at her like that, but it being a scared reaction makes sense. it doesn't make sense for him to think of her as below him when he was trying to help her literally a second before he yelled.
and then there's me projecting the autism on him
can't believe helen was a tory😔 honestly not surprising considering her line of work. this is one of those episodes that re-contextualizes a lot of the series. back when she told him that she was still just as much helen richardson as he was jon, it wasn't exactly a lie, but she meant something else. as long as jon was still struggling with his sense of morality and personhood, the distortion had to keep pretending helen was just one step further down the slippery monster slope in the hopes that it could get jon to lean into the urge to give in. i love the clarity jon has about what she was now. 'you took her. and i'll never get to dislike her. i'm stuck disliking you instead.' such a good line!!
Helen of Tory
(had to ;p)
Helen "all of the rooms are still me" and "the honeymoon suite is unoccupied" good lord, girl get a glass of water
RIP Helen, my hallway wife, my door wife
But the part where Jon yells at the woman for touching him. I...he's been touched without his consent too often in the last years and each time he's gotten more and more hurt. I know the last episode was already released but I'm going to sit here and pretend like he's living a happy life getting some much needed therapy and cuddles from Martin
"Do you... want to mourn?" The fear in his voice was so profound. He wasn't scared of anything this entire episode, but the thought of accidentally making Martin sad was the kicker. I love these guys
Helen: "And for all his bleeding heart, Martin's just as bad. Worse, even, in some ways."
Jon, softly: "...Yes he is."
HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH I'M DYING
I didn't notice this the first time I listened to this episode, but through the whole thing, Helen's voice has this slight mechanical hum to it, like she's talking through an intercom. The only exception is when the victim woman shows up, at which point there's a subtle bit of static and her voice loses that quality. When the woman leaves, through a door that manifests with the same bit of static, Helen's voice goes mechanical again. That implies - very, _very_ subtly - that she's purely talking to Jon in the form of the hotel, only appearing in person to torment her victim and knowing full well that Jon can communicate with her perfectly no matter how she appears. That is _brilliant_ visual - well, audial, I suppose - storytelling.
This is so well thought that I imagine the team being like: "we did that...?" lmao
i'm so glad you pointed that out because up untill halfway throw thats how I was imagining it, and I had to stop and think about why. I wasn't sure if she was there in her person form or not
because of the voice I imagined Helen as a little intercom speaker sliding around the halls and following Jon the whole time lol
Honestly I didn't even think about it until I saw this comment, I just simply understood perfectly that Helen as herself wasn't there in the room with Jon. What amazing audio work that you can "see" it all so clearly.
Everyone mourning Helen but nobody praising how good the invocation of the ceaseless watcher killing her was , like as someone who tends to lie pathologically the fear of someone catching me in a lie and slowly unraveling all that i am and laying me bared is absolutely terrifying so no wonder the spiral fears that from the eye
Helen was entertaining, but as someone who has been gaslit for years? Absolutely fucking terrifying. This is an example of why I don't trust friendly people. This episode... this was disturbing and cathartic.
Helen and Jon is like a MIL and SIL that only play nice because of their son/bf (Martin) but also secretly like one another
Helen talking inbetween Jon's statement added so much life to me
It's a vibe
*Hotel California intensifies*
RIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS THINKING THAT
@@amniamin22 I literally called this domain “ Helen’s Nightmare Hotel California “ 😂
Thought that as well 🪦
I love how Jon and Helen are friends. They hate each other, but they are friends.
SHE'S **SUCH** A PERSONALITY!!! I LOVE HELEN!! But I can't even HATE Jon for what happens in this ep, it was SO well developed and written!! I JUST CRAI IS ALL.
“ It’s very tasteful…. There’s FERNS”
Wow, this episode was superb. I loved Helen’s commentary through Jon’s statement, and I loved the clarity of seeing the Distortion for what it truly is. I’m sad to see her go, but her demise was beautifully written. Jon’s “Helen, was that… a lie?” is SUCH a good line, SO well delivered, _gods._ It almost gave me chills.
the sound of this episode is absolutely stunning, the fact that Helen communicates with Jon through speakers 'cos she IS the building... fantastic. also the forth wall break then the victim runs to Jon and Helen... wow just wow
"If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!" I sure hope that was a lie
I think it’ll be better if it wasn’t; cuz it’ll mean they all are free now…
I heard “Everyone inside me is already dead”
This is one of the most creative statements! Helen chipping in, the statement mentioning Jon, the victim showing up in real time! Bravo!
Also rest in peace my distortion queen, you will be missed
I adore Helen and Michael, but, I've gotta say, Helen's death is one of the most badass scenes in the show.
My hallway wife, my door wife
As much as I liked Helen, this was SATISFYING!
The Distortion's/Michael's/Helen's nature makes SO MUCH SENSE damn good writing I'm obsessed
wdym?? its the spiral, if it makes sense its not good /j
RIP Helen. You were creepy AF, but entertaining at the same time. Farewell.
Edit: Oh hey, that's Hartro searching for her son! :D
I just noticed! Thanks
who's Hartro?
@@Speckaboo a character from the Stellar Firma podcast, by RQ. It's much more comedic. They also just posted its finale to the channel, so you could go watch it now, too! 76 total episodes.
@@Speckaboo the voice actress for the mother is the same that played Hartro in Stellar Firma, another Rusty Quill podcast with main characters played by Ben Meredith (Elias) and his brother Tim Meredith.
This might be my favorite one. It delves deep into the distortion and its motivation throughout the series, it shows John as a full fledged avatar of the eye with both power and purpose, ends with a climactic showdown and all the casual banter and small talk just flows so well. Especially the scene when they keep up their banter while they both try to influence this poor woman pleading for her child is absolute gold.
I miss Michael.
He’d probably be worse than her ..but I miss him too🤡
This episode and the last have been so freaking good my GOD. RIP door wife, you will be missed, you gaslighting manipulative fabulous queen.
I'm going to miss "Helen". Her commentary was hilarious.
And that's why she should've manifested a room when he asked.
10:12 10:18 helen u cheeky little distortion u
I love her comments throught the statement, its pretty funny
my god Distortion's nature is so beautifully thought through
"the fear of what's hiding behind the smile" ties so well in the volatility of the Distortion's physical manifestations, and makes so much sense regarding Michael's demise: its intent towards Jon stopped being a question
helen was so good at gaslighting that she got us all wrapped around her finger! rip queen u will be missed!!
rest in peace hallway wife 😔
Hotel California: under new management
God, I've loved Helen since the beginning. Rest in piece queen
Alright I know we all love Helen
I didn’t mind that she died
She was torturing people as all the avatars do but I’ll miss you queen
I wonder if you *can* lie to Jon or if he's like a walking lie detector
You can try and lie but he will just force the truth out of you or just know you were liyng
Her tactics and deflections weren't what made her predictable.
People can lie and manipulate, but once you know for certain what their end goal is, it's all over for them.
currently pretending that tma is only on youtube and there are no more episodes released yet :) what do you mean it's ending in 2 days :)
edit: *muffled sounds of me sobbing into my pillow*
yep, definitely not ending in two days, there are so many more episodes to come🙂
Where might one not find some of these episodes that aren't released yet?
@@maguc5906 Oh wait I forgot CZcams filters out comments with links, my previous reply might not show up so here's one without links
You can listen on Rusty Quill's website, Acast, probably also Spotify and other places you can listen to podcasts on Idk. There's a link to the website in the description of this video, and there's an Acast button there (Acast has content warnings and stuff, like CZcams, so I usually listen there). CZcams might flag this as spam or something if I put the links here sorry
Most of the episodes are released on there, except for 200, which should be out this Thursday :)
@@maguc5906 spotify, acast itunes and some others I don't now the name of. Ending's coming tomorrow 4pm gmt so if you're planning/thinking to catch up you better do it quickly
@@cezar3169 @Mariam A thank you both so much I'm gonna listen to 12 episodes in two minutes I love you
Oh Jon cmon Helen too? Yeah they are dangerous or whatever but if you kill all the fun avatars that's the point?
I've loved Helen since her second apperance as the distortion, her running commentary is brilliance.
"Still better than spiders", Helen should have gotten a pin with this
aaaaand there goes my favourite avatar. I'll miss you Helen, my twisty funny wife
Helen got big GLaDOS vibes this episode
I finished the last episode yesterday and I’m back to pretend it isn’t over yet.
Back when I was happy.... back when I was hopeful..
I do really love Helen and I also Miss Michael lol
I wasn´t ready for John to cross paths with someone trapped in those domains of fear.
Its way easier to digest when its narrated by a third party... having the woman there makes it more relatable.
And i totally had to take a break.
Honestly if this had been Michael it would've been tough for me...I guess Helen never got that far under my skin.
helen really sucedeed in her plans bc i really liked her
I want a John, Helen, and Martin Thrupple sitcom with all their powers coming into play in wacky situations.
I caught a glimpse of one of the comments starting with "RIP Helen" at the beginning of the episode and at first I really thought I was going to miss her,
But lo and behold, the awesome writing and performances now have me not really missing her at all
(Tho I couldn't imagine any of the past episodes without her, she was still iconic imo)
Oh my, what an episode. It made me realize that while I'm aligning with the Lonely the most and might even find comfort there, I'd absolutely be a victim of the Distortion. I thought it would be the Stranger, but this episode showed me it totally is the Distortion. Loved Michael/Helen as characters though!
helen ;-;
i loved michael and i grew to like helen. she was well written and rightfully evil but i hate to see her go :c
[CLICK]
[A HARSH WIND BLOWS AS FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH]
[THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS]
[A TANNOY CRACKLES INTO LIFE PLAYING HOTEL MUZAK BEHIND HELEN’S WORDS COMING OVER THE SPEAKER]
HELEN
So are you going to knock or what?
ARCHIVIST
Perhaps I was just enjoying a quiet moment before you arrived.
HELEN
Yeah… Bit rude to do it on my doorstep, though, isn’t it?
ARCHIVIST
Perhaps. My apologies.
HELEN
So, where’s the old ball and chain? Surely you’re not paying me a visit on your lonesome?
ARCHIVIST
I am.
[DEEP INTAKE OF BREATH]
You gambled right.
HELEN
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
ARCHIVIST
You hoped that by nudging us past his domain, Martin would still be there when I arrived… so I would have to pass through on my own. Apparently, you were right.
HELEN
I thought you said you weren’t going to look inside people’s heads?
ARCHIVIST
I thought you said you weren’t people.
HELEN
Touché.
ARCHIVIST
Well, for what it’s worth, I have tried not to look inside you.
HELEN
Oh yes?
ARCHIVIST
I maybe glimpse a motive, sometimes, but I try not to stare.
HELEN
I’m touched. Any particular reason for this monumental restraint?
ARCHIVIST
The same reason you don’t want Martin here. I wasn’t sure I wanted to kill you, and… you don’t want to die.
HELEN
…
He’s still so new to all of this, caught up in ideas of justice and ‘solving’ things. Sure, he can wave away the theoretical idea of people suffering…
ARCHIVIST
But if he sees it up close, he might try to get his boyfriend to smite you?
HELEN
Something like that. We’ve built up such a rapport, he and I. I’d hate to strain it over such a temporary disagreement. I’m just concerned for his happiness, you understand.
ARCHIVIST
Completely.
HELEN
I am a little bit surprised you didn’t follow him?
ARCHIVIST
He didn’t want me to.
I didn’t need special powers to know that. When he crossed the threshold I had to make a choice, and -
HELEN
- and you chose me.
ARCHIVIST
Let’s say you were something of a branching path.
HELEN
Hm. Always the flatterer.
So, when is he coming out the other side?
ARCHIVIST
It might take a while.
HELEN
Mmm, yeah, these quiet reflective domains sometimes do. Ah well, more time for us to hang out, I suppose. Shoot the breeze, share some hot goss…
ARCHIVIST
Excuse me while I try to contain my joy.
HELEN
You are excused. So…
[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
…are you coming?
ARCHIVIST
I thought we agreed I’m far too all-powerful to cross your threshold?
HELEN
Don’t flatter yourself. This isn’t some extension, some limb reaching out to snatch the wayward or the trusting. This domain, this magnificent building, is me.
[HELEN STRETCHES AND SIGHS CONTENTEDLY AS THE BUILDING DOES LIKEWISE]
You’re welcome here. We’ll be quite safe with you travelling through me. As long as neither of us does anything silly.
[STATIC CRACKLE FROM THE ARCHIVIST]
Or you could just stand there glowering. That’s fine too.
ARCHIVIST
I’m trying to ‘know’ if there’s another route I can take.
HELEN
And?
ARCHIVIST
Turns out there is, actually. But it is rather full of spiders.
[STATIC FADES AND FOOTSTEPS START WALKING AWAY]
HELEN
Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss.
[FOOTSTEPS STOP, FOLLOWED BY A SIGH]
It’ll be fun. I promise.
[AN EVEN HEAVIER SIGH FOLLOWS]
ARCHIVIST
Alright.
[FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL UNTIL THE ARCHIVIST CROSSES HELEN’S THRESHOLD, AND THE DOOR CREAKS SHUT EERILY]
[THE PIANO MUZAK CONTINUES AS HE ENTERS A HOTEL CORRIDOR. HELEN’S VOICE COMES FROM ALL AROUND]
HELEN
Oooh! [Shudders] It feels different… to last time.
ARCHIVIST
Different how?
HELEN
The tape recorder feels more, um… awake.
ARCHIVIST
Oh. Oh, joy. Come on.
[STATIC RISES AGAIN AS HIS FOOTSTEPS START]
[HELEN REACTS AS IF HAVING EATEN SOMEONE FOUL]
HELEN
Ooh… Eeeeeeurgh!
ARCHIVIST
What?
HELEN
Eurgh. You just - blergh… You just knew the way through, well, me. And, eurgh, it’s not a pleasant feeling. No. I do not like that. Not at all.
ARCHIVIST
Well, tough. I’m not going to trust you to be my guide.
HELEN
[Exasperated] Would it kill you?
ARCHIVIST
It’s killed plenty of others.
[THE ARCHIVIST CONTINUES WALKING AS HOTEL SOUNDS ECHO AROUND]
[THE BUILDING CREAKS AS HELEN’S VOICE CHANGES RESONANCE AGAIN]
HELEN
You really don’t like me, do you?
ARCHIVIST
No.
HELEN
And you never have.
ARCHIVIST
Not really.
HELEN
Even though I saved you from Michael.
ARCHIVIST
You were Michael.
HELEN
Argh. I’m The Distortion, as was Michael, but I am not him, and never have been. Surely you know all this by now, what with your shiny new eye powers?
ARCHIVIST
It’s not about what I know. It’s about what I feel.
HELEN
[Disparagingly] Oh, what do you feel?
ARCHIVIST
I liked Helen.
HELEN
I am Helen.
ARCHIVIST
The real one.
HELEN
…
Helen-Classic.
ARCHIVIST
Sure.
HELEN
But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!
ARCHIVIST
True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.
HELEN
So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?
ARCHIVIST
Maybe.
HELEN
Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.
ARCHIVIST
[Sadly] I know.
[HE CONTINUES TO WALK]
HELEN
For what it’s worth, I really don’t think you would have liked her. If you’d known her better, I mean.
ARCHIVIST
No?
HELEN
You haven’t looked into Helen-Classic’s past yet? You should try it. I don’t think you’ll like what you find.
ARCHIVIST
What? Lying to real estate clients? Bit of a prick at parties? Secret Tory?
HELEN
Yes.
To all of them, actually.
ARCHIVIST
And that’s the problem. I could have grown to dislike her, but… you made sure that sort of thing could never happen. Now you use her form, see her mind, but they’re just… tools. Michael had nothing you could use but a razor-straight desire for vengeance, but you saw something in Helen that would work on me much more subtly. So you took her. And I’ll never get to dislike her.
I’m stuck disliking you instead.
HELEN
At least I care enough to bother.
ARCHIVIST
That’s true, I suppose.
[THE KNOWING STATIC RISES AGAIN]
HELEN
Oh. Blergh. Please stop doing that.
ARCHIVIST
I’ll stop doing it when I’m confident you’re taking me the right way.
HELEN
I am!
[STATIC FADES]
ARCHIVIST
The quickest way.
HELEN
Eurgh. Fine.
[THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT IN CRUNCHING WOOD AND BRICK]
[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
ARCHIVIST
So tell me. Why are we going the long way? You just trying to keep me from meeting any victims? Or are you trying to figure out if there’s still a way you can destroy me?
HELEN
…
A bit of both, to be honest.
ARCHIVIST
I see. How long have you been working with Elias?
HELEN
I’m not.
ARCHIVIST
[Faux-shocked] Helen! Is that… a lie?
HELEN
No! No, it’s not. I don’t know him. I’ve never even - Look, I’m happy here, all right? This world is fabulous, and I don’t want you to end it all because you’ve got a chip on your shoulder.
ARCHIVIST
So you think I can turn the world back?
HELEN
I think you’re bloody minded and stubborn, and I won’t underestimate you.
ARCHIVIST
Thank you.
HELEN
And for all his bleeding heart, Martin’s just as bad. Worse, even, in some ways.
ARCHIVIST
[Fondly] Yes, he is.
HELEN
You are so difficult to like sometimes. I’ve been nothing but nice to you.
ARCHIVIST
Maybe that’s why I never trusted you.
HELEN
See? So rude.
ARCHIVIST
Or maybe it’s because you’re an embodiment of the fear of lies and delusion.
HELEN
Also rude.
[THE ARCHIVIST MAKES A SMALL NOISE OF DISCOMFORT]
ARCHIVIST
Could you, uh… sorry, could you manifest a room for me? Please.
HELEN
Why?
ARCHIVIST
So I can make a statement?
HELEN
You do realise it’s all me, right? If I make a room, I’ll still hear you? Because I’d be the room?
ARCHIVIST
Fine, I just thought - never mind.
[DEEP BREATH AS STATIC RISES]
[HOTEL SOUNDS NOW INCLUDE FAINT PEOPLE SOUNDS AS WELL, AND THE UNDERLYING SOUNDS OF RAGGED, HURRIED BREATHS]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
I wander through the corridors, quickly, footsteps hurrying, spurred on by the worries that chase me. What were the directions she’d said, that smiling, friendly woman in reception? Left, right, right, right, left, straight ahead, then down the stairs. No, no, no, that can’t be it because I just went left and it’s a dead end. Well, not a dead end. It’s a door that says ‘Honeymoon Suite’.
HELEN
[Saucy] Currently unoccupied…
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
I turn to retrace my steps. I must have taken a wrong turn.
HELEN
Just in case you and Martin were looking for a room.
[DOOR KNOCKING AND RATTLING SOUNDS NOW INTERSPERSE THE STATEMENT]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
How long… How long has Alex been alone now? On his own? Hours at least. And he’s only… Four? Five? It doesn’t matter, all that matters is I can picture his face, and he’s alone and scared without me. How could I leave my son alone in a place like this? How could I do it?
HELEN
Deadbeat mum. Classic.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
None of the doors have numbers on them, no way to know if they’re mine, even if I hadn’t lost my keys. I, I bang on each in turn and shout his name. I try the handles even though my palms ache from the blisters. Wait, blisters? How many doors have I tried?
HELEN
[Faux-concern] Oh, I’m sure it’ll be the next one.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
A flash of movement up ahead. It’s a woman. Do I… recognise her? She looks so friendly, with her wide, happy smile and her cheery voice. I tell her I need to find my son, I… I need to check out. Of course, of course, she tells me. She can help. She’d love nothing more than to help me, although she does hate to see me check out, it’s always so hard on her when guests leave.
HELEN
I like her!
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
She takes me by the arm and leads me down a narrow service staircase. As we near the bottom I hear a distant cry. Alex. I start to run, but she says no need to rush. Check-out lasts all day. That’s good to know. My arm is bleeding… When did I cut it? It’s okay, she has some bandages. I’m so lucky she’s here.
She bandages my arm, and it starts to bleed even more. Something’s wrong here. There’s something behind her smile. I look away. The dull blue paint of the staircase is gone but… I recognise the wallpaper… Where have I seen this wallpaper before?
HELEN
Nowhere special.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
The corridor? I’m - No, we were on the stairs. Did we leave? No this isn’t right, it isn’t fair. I’ve got to - Wait, where is she? She was lying. Was she? She led me here, but now she’s gone and I’m… I’m so tired. When did I sleep last? No, I-I can’t sleep, I’ve got to find my son. Just keep moving, there’s only so many rooms. He has to be in one of them. Just push on, even if you have to check them all.
Ignore the blood you’re dripping on the carpet. Ignore the mirrors that try to tell you how haggard you’re growing. Ignore the laughter and the smiling and the chatter that has followed you since the reception. When did you go to reception? You can’t picture it.
HELEN
Shame, it’s very tasteful. There’s ferns.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
Wait. What is that? That sound. It’s… It’s not her, not just her. There’s someone else. A man’s voice, you think. Droning on, and rising and falling as he talks and talks and talks…
[STATIC RISES AGAIN]
HELEN
Ah… Ah.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
Up there, just around the corner. I can hear them. I can hear them. There!
VICTIM
Oh, oh thank god! Please, do you know where room 288 is? I… My son, he’s, I don’t know how long he’s been in there on his own, and I need to find him -
ARCHIVIST
Look, I’m so sorry. But… there is no room 288.
VICTIM
But my son!
[HELEN MANIFESTS, SMILINGLY]
HELEN
- Is around here somewhere. Come on, let’s have a look together!
VICTIM
Oh, brilliant, oh thank you, thank you so much!
HELEN
Now, where did you see him last?
VICTIM
Uh, okay. It was… it was room… wait, wait hang on.
ARCHIVIST
She’s lying to you. She isn’t your friend.
VICTIM
I… wait. I, I know you. You’re that woman from reception.
HELEN
John, this isn’t your business.
VICTIM
You were laughing! You were laughing when I got lost.
HELEN
Listen, John, I don’t come up and tell you how to pull horror from people’s brains, do I?
[THE VICTIM IS TALKED OVER AS HELEN AND THE ARCHIVIST ARGUE]
VICTIM
Please, please, I need… I need some directions.
ARCHIVIST
You do, a bit, actually, yes.
VICTIM
This place, it’s such a maze…
HELEN
Well, okay, that’s… that’s fair.
VICTIM
I don’t know how long I’ve been here.
ARCHIVIST
Look. I’m so sorry -
VICTIM
You’ve got to help me!
ARCHIVIST
[Angrily] Don’t touch me!
[THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]
HELEN
Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?
VICTIM
[Pleadingly] I’m sorry… It’s just my son…
ARCHIVIST
I could make her an avatar.
HELEN
Huh…
[THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT]
Hmmm. Best not.
[A DOOR SLAMS. ONE LAST CRY FROM THE VICTIM AS SHE VANISHES, ALONG WITH HELEN]
ARCHIVIST
Sending her away? I must have hit a nerve.
[HELEN’S VOICE RETURNS TO BEING EVERYWHERE]
HELEN
Got on my nerves. Not the same thing.
ARCHIVIST
If you say so.
HELEN
…
So, what happens now?
ARCHIVIST
You mean, did the sight of a poor, innocent wretch suffering by your hand convince me that you need to be destroyed?
HELEN
Pretty much.
ARCHIVIST
No.
You were right. It probably was something that would have convinced Martin it needed to be done.
HELEN
But…
ARCHIVIST
But I already knew what I would see in here. I already knew what I had to do.
HELEN
Because you’ve grown so fond of your old pal Helen? Or because… you were already going to destroy me?
…
I see.
ARCHIVIST
I was hoping I was wrong about you.
HELEN
You’ve always known what I am.
ARCHIVIST
Yes. But I’m only recently realising just how dangerous you are.
HELEN
Of course I’m dangerous, John. I’m a monster, just like you. and you can’t kill all of us.
ARCHIVIST
No. You’re dangerous because for all the torture and cruelty, you still somehow got us to think you’re our friend.
HELEN
I am your friend.
ARCHIVIST
No. You’re not. That’s just what you distort. It’s why you spin, but you never quite lie. The corridors, the warped body, it’s all just set dressing, isn’t it? It’s not the reality of what you actually are.
HELEN
And what, actually, am I?
ARCHIVIST
You’re a question.
HELEN
“What lurks behind the door?”
ARCHIVIST
To some. But that would be The Stranger or The Dark. No, you are the question of “What lurks behind a smile?” Is a friendship true, or is it reaching out with hands that cut you?
HELEN
Oh, I see. Very good.
ARCHIVIST
Even I didn’t see it properly, not at first. Not until the tunnels, when you wouldn’t help. When you laughed.
HELEN
Oh, come on. That wasn’t a deception, that was barely a betrayal!
ARCHIVIST
You worked to hurt us and help us, all with the same smile, until we can barely tell one from the other. Keeping us off-balance, constantly second-guessing our own opinions of you. Never quite crossing a line we could never forgive, but never putting yourself on the line either. And when one face finally stopped smiling, you just changed the face.
HELEN
Fine. So if that’s all true… why? Why would I do any of that? What’s my actual motive?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t think you even have one. It’s just what you are.
HELEN
Oh, well done. Very poetic.
ARCHIVIST
But none of that actually matters. What matters is that you want the world to stay as it is. And I don’t know if we can change it back, but if there is any possibility, you will try and stop us. And when you do, I can’t think of anyone more dangerous.
HELEN
Oh, give over! You’re the most powerful thing in the world. [Placatingly] What could I possibly do?
ARCHIVIST
It’s not me I’m worried about.
HELEN
Eurgh, fine. I thought this might happen.
ARCHIVIST
Ceaseless Watch- aargh!
[CREAKING AS THE CORRIDOORS FLEX AND CONSTRICT]
HELEN
Want to try that again?
ARCHIVIST
Ceasel-
[MORE FLEXING]
HELEN
[Darkly] You are inside my domain now, Archivist. I can shift any part of myself to any corner of this wonderful hell you have built for us. By the time the Eye focuses on me, I’m already somewhere new, something new.
[DOORS OPEN]
ARCHIVIST
Ceaseless -
[ANOTHING WARNING SHIFT]
HELEN
Whoopsie!
ARCHIVIST
You can’t do this forever!
HELEN
In this brave new world? I’m afraid I very much can.
ARCHIVIST
You can’t kill me, though. You’re just stalling.
HELEN
True. But hopefully I can stall long enough that any of your little gang that can die, have done so. By the time I let you out, you’ll have nobody else.
ARCHIVIST
…
I will end you.
[SILENCE BUT FOR SOME CREAKING]
What, nothing? No smirk? A laugh? I’ve got you rattled.
HELEN
I’m not scared of you.
ARCHIVIST
Helen… Was that… a lie?
HELEN
[Too quickly] No!
ARCHIVIST
A lie. A genuine untruth. Like a little bit of loose thread, flitting in the breeze.
HELEN
Fine. You can go.
[SHIFTING, AND A NEW DOOR OPENS]
There’s the door. Just go!
ARCHIVIST
Ceaseless Watcher!
HELEN
No!
[THROUGH THE INCANTATION, THE HARSH BUZZ OF STATIC MINGLES WITH CREAKING WOODWORK AND CRUMBLING CRICK]
ARCHIVIST
See this lie, this golden strand of falsehood. Take it in your gaze and pull it, follow through its curves and twists and knots as it unravels all before you.
HELEN (BACKGROUND)
No. No! No! No, Archivist! Stop! John, it’s me, it’s Helen. It’s me. I’ve always been your friend. Don’t do this to me. I have always helped you. I have always helped you and lent you doors. Think of all that I have done for you. If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!
ARCHIVIST
Unweave it now, its fear and its falsehood, its hidden teeth and the ones it wears so proudly.
HELEN (BACKGROUND)
You’re no different - You are no different from me! You can’t save anyone!
ARCHIVIST
Take all that it is and all that it has. It is yours!
HELEN
No! NOOOOOO!
[HELEN’S VOICE IS STRETCHED AND VANISHED]
[EXTENDED SOUNDS OF DISTORTED DEMOLITION]
ARCHIVIST
Urgh!
[A STRANGE SOUND RINGS OUT AS THE ARCHIVIST REAPPEARS IN THE WASTELAND]
MARTIN
Christ, John!
ARCHIVIST
[Groggy] Oh, Martin! Good.
MARTIN
Wh- Wh-wh-what… What happened? Th-th-there was the hotel and then…
ARCHIVIST
I, um… I killed Helen.
MARTIN
Oh.
Why?
ARCHIVIST
Long story. Ish. I’ll explain later.
MARTIN
Alright. And you couldn’t wait until you were outside?
ARCHIVIST
Not really.
MARTIN
Fair enough.
ARCHIVIST
How are you? How was… your domain?
MARTIN
Oh. Well. I mean, it feels sort of underwhelming now, to be honest. Er, more of a gentle journey of self-discovery, really. I-I didn’t realise I’m quite so… argumentative.
ARCHIVIST
I mean…
MARTIN
Y-y-you don’t need to comment.
ARCHIVIST
Alright.
MARTIN
So…
Helen’s gone, then?
ARCHIVIST
Yeah.
[FOOTSTEPS SQUELCH AS THEY PICK THEIR WAY FORWARD]
MARTIN
Damn.
ARCHIVIST
Yeah.
MARTIN
Time to mourn?
ARCHIVIST
You can if you want.
…
Do you? Want to mourn?
MARTIN
…
A bit, I guess. I-I mean, she was our friend. Sort of. A bit. Until you killed her. Which I’m sure you had to do.
ARCHIVIST
Take some time if you need. But not too long.
MARTIN
Why the sudden rush?
ARCHIVIST
You see that over there?
MARTIN
Yeah?
ARCHIVIST
That’s London.
[CLICK]
Thank you!
Damn imagine your son keeps telling you to fuck this girl up but everywhere he points there's nothing
Helen is a delight....except secret tory :(
Helen's commentary is hilarious
There's ferns
Helens commentary and Jon not wanting to be touched Stan him
Helen epitomizes the worst sort of friend.
i usually text my friend about whats happrnkng in tma as i listen and today they were greeted with
"NO JONS GONNA SMITE HELEN
NO
NOOO
JON PLEASEE
HELEN
😭😭😭😭😭😭
NOOOOOOO
helen is dead...........,..,.,. ☹️☹️☹️☹️😭"
YES SPOOKY ARCHIVIST I LOVE HIM LIKE THAT
Welp. Helen was fun while she lasted. May her curling orange/pink fractals live within us 💘🧡
No, Helen, what a shame. I almost though this could go somewhere
damn i was just warming up to helen after loving michael
Rest in peace, Ms. Yaoi Hands....
Rest. In. Peace. 😔
Bye Helen. You were horrible but really fun
*SPOILERS*
Damn door wife died? Rip queen 🪦
Does this mean the beautiful corridors are gone forever? D: nooo
Favourite season 5 episode let’s goooooo
You know, I'd have loved it if someone actually flirted or tried to seduce "Helen." I mean avatars are all about their fears, but some are still people enough to enjoy a warm bed companion. I could see the bad pickup lines;
"Why hello, Helen. Tell me, would you like someone to *explore* your narrow corridor? Does it lead out somewhere?"
I wouldn't even blame Helen if she decided to door someone who tried to pull that one on her
Potential Pick-up lines:
Vast:
"Did it hurt when you fell from the sky? "
Or
"Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you."
Or
"I swear someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."
Buried:
"Being around you takes my breath away. "
Flesh:
"Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?"
Or
"I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart."
Desolation:
"You know, I had a pickup line ready to go, but you’re so hot it just left my mind."
Beholding:
"There must be something wrong with my eyes-I can’t seem to take them off of you."
Lonely:
"You must be a magician, because every time I'm near you, everyone else seems to disappear."
Corruption:
"Are you a fungus? Because you have been growing on me more and more."
Or
"You must be contagious because I think I just caught feelings for you."
Dark:
"Are you made up of dark matter?
Cause you are indescribable."
...
...
Jon:
"If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine of my lives with you."
@@lexa2310 wtf these are all so good, now i want entities-themed valentines day cards :(
@@lexa2310 these are all wonderful
You know I wish he DID make that poor victim an avatar. It would’ve been really interesting to see a new character (one that can’t really betray the gang). Plus, I feel bad for her and wish she made it out (I’m a softie deal with it).
Yeah. :( But I suspect that her child didn't exist. Ever. The Spiral is that kind of place.
he said boyfriend 😌😌
why didnt jon want to be touched by the victim?
i mean, pretty sure it's the previous 4 seasons worth of being repeatedly traumatized deeply enough to be considered to be marked by the 14 fears? i think especially between being kidnapped by daisy and brought out to the woods so she could slit his throat, and being kidnapped by nikola and spending a month tied to a chair being moisturized by manikins, it makes complete sense that he'd be really touch adverse.
@@bridgetb.7965 that makes a lot of sense, thanks. Makes me sympathise with jon even more
@@cezar3169 also remember when Melanie stabbed his shoulder when he was getting the ghost bullet out if her knee
Nooooo, Helen D:
Helens hallways in this one were really giving off Stanley Parable vibes for me
Helen😭 good bye you absolute chaos
Helens death is genuinely the saddest point for me
NOOOOOO GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS DOOR WIFE AUGH MY HEART
Hey this is one of my first time watching on e of these things with the comments of everyone else. You guys actually liked Helen? Seriosuly?
as a "person"? fuck no. as a character? absolutely! she was phenomenally written and very entertaining to listen to
People care about the villains as entertainment. They were also gullible enough to believe the monster wearing Helen's face was the real her. Once you're attached, you make excuses.
I never liked her. I've spent too much time listening to fakers and you know them by their deeds. The Distortion was the person who'd cheer you on to do something stupid, then abandon you, later showing up to laugh and be abusive if you held them responsible. As Helen!Distortion did. It was always the enemy sabotaging, and it killed the real Helen, whom I liked even if she was boring.
Off topic, but is it just me that imagines Elias/Jonah being on top of the Barad-dur from lord of the rings, and the ceaseless watcher is just sauron, and Elias has a little room where he drinks tea and watches everything getting slightly more nervous when John gets closer
I can't believe this fandom told me this episode was sad. 🙄
HELEN NOOOOO
This episode is like mystery science theater
3:45 that sounded... Wrong
If you really think about it...
Helen never really had anyone to connect with....not even when she got taken and became "Helen Distortion"
She died alone 😔
Rip Helen Richardson
Rip Helen o7 keep girlbossing in the afterlife queen
RHAAGGHHHH THIS ONE WAS SO GOOD
wow jon was really shaken by killing helen i dont think he wanted too but he felt he had too oof just oof this whole ep
RIP door waifu
I do feel Helen really likes Jon~ I like it