THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES
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- čas přidán 29. 03. 2021
- Case ########-28 Observations of surveillance Recorded by The Archivist in Situ. Content warnings: - Scopophobia - Loss of privacy - Judgement & Shaming - Schadenfreude - Bystander apathy - Therapeutic malpractice - Body horror (inc SFX) - Eye trauma - Mentions of: Discussion of grief/loss, gaslighting, loss of identity, insomnia, asthma attacks Episode Transcript MAG 188 (PDF): cutt.ly/PhwoAZY MAG 188 (DOC): cutt.ly/UhwoMm0
Thanks to this week's Patrons: Katie McLean, incorrigible_worksop, Sam Lueke, Delta Psy, Tired Naiad, Yael Zombie, Elizabeth Almasy, Angelika Agbayani, David Niemczyk, Harmoni Kauffman, Layne Woodward, Jacc; Rahlly ;Michelle Scarcella, connanro; Diego Henriquez, Erica; Julie Fricker apthemagician; Zacharias Buchanan, Kathryn Sullivan, LYJun; Jordan Patton, Sophia Stasevic, Dominic Moffchiedoytiss, Liz McAnder, Juliana Scherzer, Jojoiter; 104 Tarsiers, Jara257; kendal; Kiwisheep, Renata; Devin Taylor, Emily Tucker, I should be asleep, melekinh; Kaley Bales, Vincent & Amelia, Emma Baker, Emily, here's how Web!Martin can still win, TheFool; Liv Stormborn, Nicole Just Kidding, Marika Rainey, Emily Diaz, Avah Willard, Anabel (latt). If you'd like to join them visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill
Edited by Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Tessa Vroom, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall
Written by Jonathan Sims;
Directed by Alexander J Newall;
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies;
Performances: - "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims; "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall.
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The realization that when she was wondering why she still felt like she was being watched even after she covered the window and the door...... Jon was still actively watching her and narrating everything she did
Damn, you right.
Whoa
I love it
damn
Be fair, the Eye is always watching everyone.
Jon was just watching through it at the time.
everytime martin gets to be petty and jealous i gain 10 years of life
So...you're immortal...got it
Jon is the Eye's special little boy!!!
He's like that kid who always said "my dad owns *company name*" but he actually does
hey, if you have any paranoid disposition in you, do not listen to this episode. not when your high, not when your stressed, not when your on the bus, and definitely not when your all three
oh dear
Pretty sure that's why there's extensive content warnings in the description, then again some people don't listen
Huh I just decided to do all three Then saw this message lmao
Were you... speaking from experience?
Personally I don't think it can be worse than the parasite episodes
This whole episode: Sometimes it feels like somebody's watching me
* Cue's Rockwell song... *
@@caniusdirus
* _Every_ _Breath_ _You_ _Take_ starts playing too *
As Michael Jackson said "I can always feel like somebody's watching meee"
BRING THE BEAT IN
I have been obsessively listening to this podcast for the past few weeks, and I dreamed I was Jon and I destroyed an avatar related to cheese. No idea what fear that relates to, but well. I'm back.
Cheese? What fear domain does that belong to? 😆🧀
Dude! Last night I dreamed I performed a ritual for the Spiral! (I remember looking at pictures of geometric shapes forming spirals and being very, very dizzy.) Team TMA dreamers.
@@Companion92 Lactose intolerance
I dreamed that I had cockroaches under my skin a la Jane Prentiss
Nooo not the cheese :C
ok I know this is a serious statement but there was something about Carmen that when I first heard her name I thought, "I think she's fruity" AND SHE DID IN FACT TURN OUT TO BE FRUITTY
RIGHT?!
LMAO
we love when the victims are fruity, but in a representation way, not a homophobic way
I was really expecting for Jon to get interrupted when Carmen stabbed the eye.
you know Jon and Martins domains are kind of the opposite of each others. while Martins relies on the fear of being alone and never being seen, Jons relies on the fear of only being seen
and somehow they're both the only fears that really hit me.
@@samjohnson4751 Eesh, me too. But they're both about acceptance, aren't they? The desire to be welcomed, seen as an equal..conform and be comforted by the herd. So many fears, but so many with this at their core.
In another way, though, their base personalities without the domains are the opposites: Jon is secretive and has difficulty opening up about his feelings, but Martin seeks out that connection and is a tether to Jon’s humanity.
But even with the domains, they have their positive sides as well; Jon’s Eye powers can be invasive and controlling, but it also symbolizes his protectiveness towards others (literally “watching out”), while Martin’s Lonely aspect allows him to carve healthy boundaries between the two of them. It shows that the aspects of the domains don’t HAVE to be all bad.
In another way, though, their base personalities without the domains are the opposites: Jon is secretive and has difficulty opening up about his feelings, but Martin seeks out that connection and is a tether to Jon’s humanity.
But even with the domains, they have their positive sides as well; Jon’s Eye powers can be invasive and controlling, but it also symbolizes his protectiveness towards others (literally “watching out”), while Martin’s Lonely aspect allows him to carve healthy boundaries between the two of them. It shows that the aspects of the domains don’t HAVE to be all bad.
every time jon and martin just talk to each other about how they were feeling back during previous seasons, i feel so well nourished. also every time jon addressed the eyeball cameras and drones 😳 i am looking respectfully.
If Jonathan Sims ever ran a Master Class, I would sign up in an instant.
which one??? in what???
@@nemnyoomthat doesn't matter xD
@@nemnyoom voice acting, writing, world building etc
ah yes, the worst fear of them all. London.
The Eye, AKA the worst nightmare of people with imposter syndrome (me included). How lovelyyyy
Oh no... Having a crush on your therapist sounds awful ehhh
I didn't think I would be scared of the eye ever but listening to this episode on the website made me cry so apparently this is my personal hell
Same
I hate being observed as much as I like observing. This is 100% where I'd end up.
lmao im so sorry it affected you so much ! i think i discovered a new fear with this one too.. first i rediscover my childhood fear of mirrors and now this, so fucking annoyed at this dumb show i love it so much😂
This podcast made me realize I have a fear of being watched. It isn’t new. I know the event that caused me to be scared of it… but I never realized how much it effected me until I was closing my windows and blinds in order to keep myself from being watched.
(The event in question was an odd ghostly figure watching me through my door to the outside. Idk how long it was watching me but when me & my dog noticed it, it disappeared when we went to investigate.
i don't really have a fear of being watched, but suburbia and all of the hidden suffering behind it is one of the most terrifying things to me
ceaseless watcher’s special little boy!!
the fear of being watched ties back nicely into The Lonely, the paranoia, everybody's watching you, judging you, you can trust noone, you can't believe their empty kind words, they just don't want you to judge them back-
Ah, a new one to file under the 'might rekindle some deep emotional trauma' folder, I see.
The middle school experience: tma edition
Oof. This, uh, this was the first episode I had to actually stop partway through due to a panic attack. (I listened to the rest after I managed to calm down.) I read the content warnings, but wasn't prepared for the part about having someone telling you you're making too much noise. (I have an anxiety disorder and a downstairs neighbour who still hasn't told me what the noise she tells me I make all the time actually sounds like.) That said, if this fear has been written down, that means I'm not the only one suffering through it. And feeling less alone is a comfort.
Oh, lovely, you're not alone. (Not this episode, though.) In a weird way, it made me love the show even more. I mean, if you can be the reason why I have such a violent reaction in a "safe" way, props to you.
Anxiety disorder gaaaang heart do the pitter patter for no reason
Oh honey ❤. I know this comment is coming 2 years late, but I hope you’re doing okay. ✌🏻
@@MsMagnolia97Ups and downs. The anxiety never really goes away, but the fact that we haven't heard from the neighbour in a long time does help. Thank you for the well wishes, they are appreciated
Perfect episode to scramble eggs to
This is so goddamn random I love it
"Lets see if im worthy of your attention" is up there with the best lines of this podcast
I was doing fine until the straight-up body horror of an Iris trapping someone's arm like a bear trap.
I play a video game called City of Heroes, and there is a monster that looks like a giant eyeball. Of course, the pupil lights up as it channels a laser dimension at you, but if you get close, the eyelids close and the eyelashes are giant teeth. When they try to bite you there is a big "CHOMP" and its sort of hilarious and horrifying.
Poor Carmen, I feel terrible for her. :(
Jon is going to meet his Eye dad! :D
Oh jeez, bystanders apathy where they just watch when you're in trouble is 100% my first 20 years of life in London, even when I was being mugged by 3 guys on the top floor of (an entirely full) bus, everyone just watched, even the supposed friend I was sat next to who was this massive metalhead guy who said they he'd knocked people out with a headbutt at gigs he went to, I'm so glad to be out of that dump
I never trust men who talk about being protective. The same people who will self-righteously go pick fights with a neighbor with a gun (because they know in their hearts the neighbor ISN'T going to shoot and will back down) will remain absolutely passive when a real violent fistfight might affect them. Because that fistfight WILL happen if they get involved.
I understand not wanting to get hurt, but if you boast about how violently protective you'd be, you will be judged if you do nothing.
Awwww! JonMartin still adorable--*creepy statement on cities and watching * sdlfkjslafjd;fjas no buenooooooo D:
This statement felt too fucking real, one of the very few episodes I was nervous listening to.
I expected a lot but that eye was not in my expectations
This episode has been the worst yet for me. I'll sprint along the corpse roots, I'll wriggle and writhe towards something that I may never reach, regardless of the claustrophobia, I'll be fine being planted and constantly told how bad I am, as I know that stuff already. But to have this experience. To always be watched, to always be *known* even my deepest, most private thoughts. To have every release that I may have tainted by the knowledge that someone is DEFINATELY watching me. This iswhat would make me crack
Let's see if I'm worthy gave me chills Jonathan 😮
so we all gonna pretend like they didn't just tear our hearts out with the finale? yeah? alright then I guess we still have 12 episodes left
I'm pretending all right! But more that I don't have the ability to go listen to the finale right now. Instead, 12 weeks, give or take if they include the act 2 break, to go.
finale, what finale, we are on episode 188 and everything is fine :) the finale is still a long way away :)) haha :))))
We're all fine here :)))))))))))))
What is the matter with you? Why would you talk about a finale in a past episode? All you have to do is come back to this comment and delete it. Why would you leave it up?
I hope when they eventually make it to the Institute the sound that plays in the beginning of every ep (the sound of the lights turning on) will play
Aye, stormlight archive sponsoring the Magnus archive is such a nice tidbit for a fan Of f both. Really love the great amount of pro.otion done for it.
the level of terror I had when that came on as I just started reading the Stormlight Archives
Archive-to-archive communication
I have a horrible fear of being watched and social anxiety to the point I can't open my blinds, and I have nightmares of people watching me (which is very much one of the causes of my insomnia) and this episode hit very very hard.
Hi Alex!
The Carmen Show :)
🎵 All this tiiiiiiime the surveillance machine has been all up in your affairs 🎵
My reading so far:
The Spiral? Homophobic. (Vase deletes marriage)
The Lonely? Ally (Gay love escapes the lonely)
The Eye? Homophobic (Outed this girl)
Does anyone know where the other powers stand?
And yet the most important Eye guy has been hiking with his boyfriend for years (?) now
@beepeopeepeo2645, so that's nepotism...
I would like to point out that the Lonely also shipped (hehe) that dude that tried to cheat on his partner, so I've been calling it a Fujoshi (a Fear-fujoshi)
I saw some comments jokingly speculating that Dr Jane Doe was trans, so the Stranger is an ally
Corruption gives me homophobic on vibes alone,
Hunt accepts homosexuality but only if it's not "pushed in its face" (It's a fan of Burry your gays)
Burried is a fan of Burry your gays
Slaughter believes in true equality (everyone should die)
Flesh is one of those closeted homophobes
Desolation is a bisexual
Web is an aroace over this allo bs
Dark is the epitome of the closet
End really does not care and neither does extinction
My favorite author sponsoring my favorite podcast oml my life is complete
This episode’s statement hits too close to home aaaahhhhhh 😭😭
Me: *sings sombody is watching me by Rockwell*
[CLICK]
[FOOTSTEPS, AS A DISTANT DOG BARKS]
MARTIN
How much longer? Feels like we’ve been walking through suburbs forever.
ARCHIVIST
Well, quite.
MARTIN
Ah. Right. Okay. Literal suburban hellscape, then?
ARCHIVIST
Yes. Endless, cookie-cutter housing. Impersonal, alienating. A common expression of The Lonely even before the world went to hell.
MARTIN
I guess.
Seems a bit, I don’t know… a bit tame compared to some of the other stuff, though.
ARCHIVIST
I mean, not to be, uh… That isn’t exactly a surprise, is it? That The Lonely seems comfortable to you?
MARTIN
Guess not.
ARCHIVIST
But if you think there’s a lack of violence or suffering, then I’m afraid you’re mistaken. There’s plenty, it’s just… hidden. Trapped behind identical doors and down silent streets of unknown neighbours. The suffering here is deep. And it’s private.
MARTIN
O-Okay, yeah, I get it. So, I guess we’re looking for an empty house? Somewhere to… ‘unburden yourself’?
ARCHIVIST
Actually no. Helen - Th-The Distortion, turns out that was… a lot of fear for the Eye. And, uh…
MARTIN
You’re still full?
ARCHIVIST
I suppose that’s one way to put it.
MARTIN
…
You still haven’t really explained what happened there.
ARCHIVIST
She tried to trap me in the corridors, so I destroyed her.
MARTIN
Yeah, I, I know, but, I mean… why?
ARCHIVIST
Probably because I told her I was going to kill her.
MARTIN
Yeah, that’d do it. Was it that bad in there?
ARCHIVIST
There were a lot of people suffering.
MARTIN
But that’s not why you did it.
ARCHIVIST
She was… She was too dangerous. She was only ever playing us.
MARTIN
So all that talk of wanting to be friends, she was just, what, lying?
ARCHIVIST
No… That was real. She did want to be friends. But she also wanted us suspicious, off-balance, uncomfortable. She wanted to be able to hurt us.
MARTIN
Bit of a contradiction, surely?
ARCHIVIST
Is it? She wanted to be our friend, she just didn’t want to be a good friend.
MARTIN
Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess.
ARCHIVIST
She didn’t even try.
MARTIN
I hope the others don’t take it too hard. Melanie was pretty close to her at one point. Assuming Melanie’s still alive, of course.
ARCHIVIST
Yeah. I thought you and Helen got on well, though?
MARTIN
Yeah, I… I dunno, really. She always seemed to know just the right thing to say, or the wrong thing, kind of. Like, sh-she had a way of getting into your head and making you feel like you didn’t know what the deal was. Like, like you were being stupid or something.
ARCHIVIST
Sounds about right.
MARTIN
Plus, I… I was a little bit jealous as well.
ARCHIVIST
Of what?
MARTIN
Of Helen. Well, the real Helen. I found the tape when you were on the run and… I don’t know. Something about the way you two seemed to connect when she came in.
ARCHIVIST
Before she was eaten by a door.
MARTIN
Well, Yeah. It certainly seemed to have a pretty deep impact on you.
ARCHIVIST
It did. I think… I mean, you remember how I was back then, how paranoid. The Not!Sasha was there, and I could sense something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t place it. It left me a suspicious wreck. Then when Helen Richardson came in, it seemed like… she was in the same place I was, but worse, further along. I thought, maybe if I could help her, that would mean… maybe I wasn’t beyond help?
MARTIN
…
I’m sorry for how it worked out.
ARCHIVIST
Me too.
MARTIN
Was there any of the original Helen left in there?
[THE ARCHIVIST EXHALES WITH UNCERTAINTY]
ARCHIVIST
If there was I could never see it properly. I know that Helen Richardson was gone. The same way Michael Shelley was gone. I know The Distortion was neither of them. I also know that The Distortion of Helen was not the same being as The Distortion of Michael. But they were all so twisted up as a direct part of The Spiral. It’s like, I could follow the knowledge of any one line of identity, but as soon as I tried to take a step back and see the whole, the picture… changed.
I want to believe that thing was just wearing Helen Richardson like a mask. That I finally avenged her.
MARTIN
…
A-At least we’ll have plenty to tell the others when we meet up.
ARCHIVIST
Yeah. Yeah we will.
MARTIN
Speaking of. How’s Basira doing? Where is she, at the moment?
[STATIC OF KNOWING]
ARCHIVIST
She’s trying to catch her breath in a labyrinth of masks. She hates The Stranger, but has overcome it before, and will do so again. Her path is slow and painful, but she hasn’t fallen yet.
MARTIN
Thanks. I’m, I’m trying not to worry about her.
ARCHIVIST
I know.
[FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE APACE]
ARCHIVIST
Oh. Hold on.
MARTIN
What?
[WALKING STOPS]
ARCHIVIST
We’re about to enter London proper. We should take a moment.
MARTIN
What’s it like?
ARCHIVIST
It’s the seat of The Eye. The other powers have small enclaves within it, but… it’s going to be a lot.
MARTIN
Okay. A lot of what?
[A STEP FORWARD AND THERE IS THE CRACKLE OF DOMAIN TRANSITION]
[SUBURBIA IS REPLACED WITH THE WHIRR OF IRISES FOCUSSING, SECURITY CAMERAS WHIRRING AND THE BUZZ OF DRONES]
[THE ARCHIVIST STEPS FORWARD AND A CHANGE OCCURS. THE QUIET SUBURB IS REPLACED BY A TOWERING CITY. FACES LIKE THE WINDOWS, STARING AT THEM, SECURITY CAMERAS FOCUS ON THEM. THEY ARE IMMEDIATELY THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION. IT’S BIG BROTHER’S BIG BROTHER.]
MARTIN
Oookay. That’s a lot of, um… Are they real?
ARCHIVIST
They’re not people. But they can see us.
MARTIN
D-Do they ever leave the windows, or…
ARCHIVIST
No. They don’t need to. They have a very good view.
MARTIN
And the cameras?
ARCHIVIST
I wouldn’t look at them too closely.
MARTIN
I won’t if they return the favour.
Okay. S-So. Do we just… start walking again?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t see why not.
MARTIN
At least there aren’t any cars.
[MORE WHIRRING, AS SPOTLIGHTS FLARE INTO LIFE WITH A HEAVY KA-CHONK SOUND]
ARCHIVIST
I suppose they don’t get many new faces around here.
MARTIN
Especially not The Archivist. You’re a celebrity!
ARCHIVIST
Maybe. Or maybe it’s Elias’ personal welcome wagon.
MARTIN
Oh. Hmm. Is that a possibility?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t know. I still can’t see him.
MARTIN
Then I guess we’ll find out.
ARCHIVIST
Let’s move on. I don’t need to attract any more attention.
MARTIN
Er, yeah.
ARCHIVIST
Besides, turns out I can feel a statement coming on, and I’d rather not do it with any more of an audience than absolutely necessary.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[THE ARCHIVIST’S VOICE SOUNDS MORE RESONANT FOR THESE LINES, AS IF IN A TUNNEL, THEN ADOPTS USUAL STATEMENT TONE]
ARCHIVIST
Hm. You want a show so badly?
Fine.
[STATIC RISES]
[CITY SOUNDS, INCLUDING CARS, START TO BE HEARD]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
London. Carmen hated London. She had only ever moved here because there were no jobs in her field outside of it, though right now she couldn’t have told you for certain what her field actually was. When she had first arrived she had almost convinced herself she liked it, but that had worn thin very quickly, and recently the place had changed. It felt… different.
It had always watched her; Carmen had never been under any illusions about that. Most surveilled city in the world, so much so that you didn’t even notice most of the time. She would barely register the bank of CCTV monitors on the side of the bus that cycled through angles until you were staring at the side of your own head. And she had lived next to a small park for two years before she realised the huge metal pole in the middle of the pathways wasn’t a streetlamp, but a bank of cameras.
She had once counted how many times she could spot a camera watching her during her morning run: thirty-one in ten minutes. At least, it had been back then. Last time she had tried it there were hundreds. They tracked her movements, and made so much noise she could not have ignored them if she tried. It was halfway between the mechanical whir of a focusing lens and the low rattle of mean-spirited laughter. Carmen didn’t go running anymore.
She lay in bed now, the lights of the streetlamps below her window washing out the world in a faintly green LED glow. Her curtains had long since torn, and there was nowhere to buy any more. When she turned onto her side, she could see the blinds of the flat across the street twitching, the suggestion of an observer between the slats. Carmen turned her back to the window, tried to ignore the sense that she was being watched, being judged. Her own eyes drifted to the door to her room, and she realised it was ajar. In the gap stood her flatmate, the one whose name Carmen didn’t remember, and who she couldn’t recall moving in. Straight blonde hair atop a round, friendly face that never seemed to blink.
‘It’s late,’ the flatmate said, her tone level. Carmen’s throat tightened. ‘I am trying to sleep. This is not acceptable.’
The words bit into Carmen and she felt her head swim and her heart race so fast she thought it was going to burst. What time was it? She hadn’t been making any noise, how had her flatmate known? This was her room, her space, she was allowed to be awake, she was-
Her flatmate was still there, standing in the doorway, eyes locked on her. Carmen was shaking all over, trying to keep her teeth from chattering, from making more noise that might further disturb this presence in her room. She did not sleep. And her flatmate did not move. And as the night passed, she could have sworn she heard the faintest snicker drifting from nearby windows.
[BATHROOM SOUNDS, INCLUDING THE RUNNING OF A SHOWER]
The sun came up gradually, bathing everything in the harshest of lights, every pavement crack revealed, every broken window or poorly painted façade laid bare for all to see. Carmen stared at her face in the mirror, the glow of morning reflecting back the bruised and puffy bags under her eyelids, the wrinkles that seemed to deepen every day… how many days now… and the pale weariness that almost leaked from her skin. She tried to force a smile, but her reflection just stared at her, well aware that it was false. Behind her, she saw the face of her flatmate, that same expression that dropped a hot coal of anxiety into her stomach.
‘I am waiting for the bathroom,’ the flatmate said. ‘This is not acceptable.’
[BATHROOM SOUNDS FADE, REPLACED BY THE CREAK OF A WARDROBE]
Bile rose from Carmen’s throat for just a second as the flatmate took a step closer, watching her every move, examining her for imperfections, for failures. And there were so many. Carmen pushed past her, out of the bathroom, and ran back to her room, where she tried to find clothes for the day, but everything in her wardrobe was fit only to draw attention to her. She so desperately wanted to simply disappear, just for a moment.
[DOOR SHUTS AND IS LOCKED]
A camera swivelled to focus on her the moment she left her flat, stepping onto the landing, lens extending towards her, right at eye level. She instinctively swatted at it, batting it away.
[SOFT CRUNCH OF AN IMPACT]
It was softer than she expected, and warmer, impacting the wall with a gentle pop, and leaving a sticky grey residue behind it. Carmen hurried down the stairs as the other cameras all focused on her, and other doors on the floor began to open to see what all the fuss was about. From the speed at which they opened, her neighbors must have been standing behind them. Waiting.
[HURRIED FOOTSTEPS ON CONCRETE, AS DOORS CREAK OPEN TO WATCH]
She took it two steps at a time going down, and almost tripped and fell twice, but it was better than the lift. The lift was nothing but cameras and mirrors, infinite reflections staring at each other out to all eternity and the endless multiplication of four cameras to watch it all forever. No, she wasn’t going in the lift.
[EXTERIOR DOOR OPENS TO URBAN SOUNDS]
At last she was in the street, the air of the city close, dry and tinged with that gritty texture that always made her afraid she was going to have an asthma attack. Did she have one recently? There were memories, flashes of lying on the ground, desperate for someone, anyone, to help. But they had just watched silently. Some had taken videos. But she was here now, and she couldn’t afford to have another attack today. She had somewhere very important to be.
The street outside was not crowded, which gave Carmen the briefest moment of hope. Perhaps she could make her journey in relative peace. But then the camera orb on a nearby pole swivelled to focus on her and, just like that, every single person turned towards her as one. Her stomach dropped as one by one their faces lit up, taking on that unmistakable hue of anticipation. Of recognition. Carmen could remember none of these people, but there was no ignoring the fact that they definitely knew her and, more than that, she was important to them.
‘Oh my god,’ a young man said as she tried to walk past him, ‘it’s you!’
He waited for a response, but Carmen had nothing to say, and as her feet locked in place her mind could do nothing but recite her a litany of her inadequacies, her failures, her regrets. What did he want from her? His smile turned into a sneer.
‘I should have known,’ he spat, ‘what a disappointment.’
Carmen tried to walk faster, ignoring the middle-aged woman who looked her up and down, not bothering to hide the judgement in her gaze. All she had to say was, ‘Oh.’
A little girl implored for Carmen to play with her, huge eyes pleading, but she didn’t have time.
‘You’re just like everyone said you were!’ the little girl screamed as Carmen tried to walk away. ‘No wonder Simone left you.’
Shut up, shut up, shut up, there’s no way the child could have known that. Did someone see? Of course they did, of course they were always watching, judging, knowing all her business. and there was nothing she could do to stop it. To keep them from being disappointed, to not hurt them. She just screwed up, and they all just watched her fall.
[A PEN CLICKS]
‘Sounds like you have the weight of the word on your shoulders,’ her therapist said, voice soft and mellifluous. The deep brown of her eyes met Carmen’s, and as always Carmen had to quiet the flutter of her heart, choke down and try her best to hide the seed of lust that had settled inside her long ago. But she was certain she saw a flash of contempt pass across her therapist’s face. She knew, she had seen.
‘It does feel like that,’ Carmen said. ‘There’s so much pressure, and I don’t know why.’
‘I know why’, the therapist said. ‘It’s because everyone’s counting on you. Everyone’s watching.’
Carmen was back in her room at last. She had no curtains, so pressed her mattress against the glass to keep out the light. To keep out the curiosity. Her door did not lock, so she pushed her unused desk against the flimsy MDF. To keep out her flatmate. At last she was alone. Nobody could see her. She could do what she liked and it would harm nobody.
So why didn’t she feel it? Why was there still that small, panicked buzzing in the back of her mind that told her something could see her. That she was not alone. Carmen managed not to scream, but couldn’t stop herself kicking the wall in frustration.
[A SERIES OF SMALL KICKS AGAINST A SOLID OBJECT]
The rage passed in a moment and shame hit her like a truck. Someone had seen that, she was sure of it, and what must they think of her?
On the section of wall she had kicked, a big chunk of plater crumbled to the floor, revealing the brick behind. Carmen’s brow wrinkled, first in confusion, then in horror. Set into those bricks behind the plaster was an eye. It was larger than a human eye, and flatter, almost the size of her head, and it pulsed gently.
[VAGUELY UNPLEASANT PULSING SOUNDS CAN BE HEARD FAINTLY]
The pupil was locked on her. And all at once Carmen understood how deep it went, that they were in everything, lurking in the very fabric of the world she lived in, always keeping watch on her.
It was not in rage, but in cold fury that Carmen moved the desk and marched down to the kitchen, ignoring her flatmate’s recriminations of her actions being unacceptable. She picked up a chef’s knife and returned to her room, shutting the door behind her once again.
[DOOR SLAMS]
She looked at the eye, and the eye looked back.
Carmen’s arm shot out, thrusting the tip of the blade right into the pupil. But it did not cut anything, for there was nothing but empty blackness. Carmen’s knife, then her hand, then her forearm passed into the void of that pupil, her skin bristling with the cold.
[SQUELCHING SOUND, LIKE REACHING INTO A THICK LIQUID]
And then the iris closed around her arm, the thin flesh of the tightening muscle clenching with astonishing strength as it held her in place. Then, inch by inch by inch, it began to pull her in. But her flatmate simply shushed her.
[SOUNDS OF STRUGGLING AFTER MUSCULAR CONSTRICTION]
Her terror was pointed and crimson, and tomorrow she will wake up hating London and worrying about how many characters there are.
[ONE LAST GRUNT AND WATERY STRUGGLING, AS THE STATIC RISES AGAIN]
[THE ARCHIVIST BREATHES DEEPLY]
ARCHIVIST
Is that what you wanted to hear? Why you’re all staring at me like that? You wanted a story? Or maybe I am your chosen one and you’re just waiting for your orders. I’m special to the thing upstairs, so that makes me special to all of you as well, right?
Well, let’s see if I’m worthy of your attention.
[A CAMERA WHIRS]
[CLICK]
Thank you!
@@DungeonMistressC np!!
At 4am I woke up this morning for work and was excited to listen to another episode of The Magnus Archives while I got ready for work. It going good, I am invested and then Jon starts the statement for this episode.
"London. Carmen hated London." At 9:58
I paused it for a second thinking I miss heard, there's no way they just happened to use my name as a character, right? I mean my name isn't super common, at least not where I am from.
I played it and started to listen more.
"It had always watched her;Carmen never had an illusions about that." 10:26
I stopped the episode here, this is the only episode that I've had to stop and skip. I happen to have anxiety and asmatha, so this made it even worse.
I still love The Magnus Archives though, it's a really, really good horror podcast, and I am okay with skipping one episode if I can listen to the rest.
Just wanted to share this little tid bit with fellow fans, mostly cause I don't have any friends who are currently listening to The Magnus Archives.
They really wrote you into an episode huh
@@estefaniasorando4409
Apparently. Although I don't live in London, I was born and raised in the USA, and I do definitely hate it here in the states, lolz.
I suppose "The Ceaseless Watchers Special Little Boy" is watching me from wherever he is now, lol.
That...is so creepy. I'm glad you had the mental fortitude to take a step back.
1984 as never before
Bruh, I literally just started reading the Stormlight Archives TODAY! That sure was a surprise to hear on this podcast lol
Yup
I'm on rhythm of war rn :DD
@@carpetcatco
Yo dude, I got like 200 pages left in Oathbringer and am gonna finish it tomorrow.
@@snowshoes343 Woohoo! How was the journey?
this hit kinda hard
_TECHNOLOGY!_
[SCREAMS]
I swear, I can handle most of this one, but then the liquid sounds at the end just... bluh.... so much ew.
This gave me little nightmares 2 vibes
Oh, if you listen to the JT music channel's songs about that series, it feels like shout outs to the Magnus Archives.
Reminds me of that one black mirror episode, where they wipe her mind and the end so they can do it all again.
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
And I’ve got no privacy!
Ooooh Wooah!
This ep couldve been elevated by "what were they going to think? Why is she pressing her mattress against the window? Thats not normal person behaviour. The next day people asked her why did she put her mattress against the window and she remembered all the stains on it"
(New fear unlocked)
None of these episodes have really scared me or unnerved me but this really fucked with me. Really bad. The imposter syndrome is flaring up!!
Wow! I didn’t know my family was in the Magnus archives!
❤️
Stormlight Archives sponsored????? Holy shit my 2 of my favorite things
I know i was so shocked when i heard the stormlight archive being mentioned here
“i was always feel like somebodies watching mee, and i have no privacy” type of episode
In today's world, I no longer believe in privacy. Sometimes that is more heavy a weight.
Let’s take a moment.
In my mind they held each other, then strengthened went onwards.
This one reminds me when I felt like god was watching my every move, my every thought, all my little miss deeds. Guilt would well up in me whenever a I did anything. Any little papercut of bad descisions or blunder. Even worse, every bad thought I had was a platter to my "god"
Church said he knew everything and would bring me punishment for every single little missdeed. But because I'm only human I failed to be perfect, and with each failure, god would watch
Yes, yes, yes. I had huge problems with this as a child. Its a big reason why I stopped believing in specific religious texts. They read like parent's lies to control you, with no true logic.
Wow, quite many episodes lately that hit so close to home 😅
It's not as heavy for me but well, I grew up feeling watched pretty much 24/7 (or maybe I grew into that). Nowadays I still feel that way. I'm trying to work on it but still, throughout this episode I just felt... dejected. Because I can barely remember a time when I hadn't really felt this way and it's exhausting and draining, to say the least. And when the statement ended, I felt that anger and hatred again, just like Carmen. Again, probably not as extremely but, well.
Thank you again for making me feel understood.
(Also, thanks for reminding me I still need to finish reading 1984 xD)
another episode that hits a little too close to home. most of these dont really scare me, i watch because theyre interesting (and i love the characters lol) but when one hits.... it hits hard. i think i need to take a break.
You know I don’t think she knows there’s an apocalypse
This reminds me of that episode of Black Mirror, White Bear. Watching. 👀📷🧿🧸📷👁
I've gagged more im this episode more than i have anyother in this series.
Here's a horrible factoid to ruin your day:
I am not a biology student, but I do know a few that have had to disect some eyes, and here's how they described it:
"It's kind of like an egg, but except for a yellow yolk and a clear white, the 'yolk' is clear and around is black... liquid...?"
I hope this description ruined your day just as much as it did mine /hj
The worst part of any suburb is that Ben folds isn't there to rock it
The whole episode is that Rockwell song
The whole scene with the eye closing around her hand and arm made me VERY uncomfortable, good job! /gen
This is one of my strongest fears so it's definitely *an experience* for me (・_・;)
(Also, [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL EYE MURDER])
You have a strong fear of being eaten by a giant eyeball?
@@Badficwriter I don't know what I meant a year ago but I think I used to completely change topics each paragraph so it's probably something along the lines of "being the Centre of Attention is one of my strongest fear- WAIT I just remembered this is the episode with the eye in the wall nvm then I'm really fucking scared of there secretly being eyes in my walls.
@@Badficwriter also it would be pretty scary to be eaten by a giant eyeball
Man Carmen just aint having it
Oooh, another hell for me
Brandon Sanderson as a sponsor??????
God that statement hit waaay too close to home. I’m curious, did anyone find it tame?
Well this hit surprisingly close to home, time to question what avatar I would be for the nth time these last three months
Edit: OK SO THIS IS OVER, I FEEL PERSONALLY TARGETED, AND I AM *SO* NOT GOING TO LONDON
I’m here for the suburb slander.
And if you think British suburbs are bad, American suburbs are so much worse
They're fine if you never leave your house..
Maybe I'm taking this the wrong way, but does this mean that London's greatest fear is communism/fascism? I was already keen to imagine it similar to Unlondon from the SCP archives anyway
Surveillance isn't confined to fascism or communism. Your peers surrounding you, looking at you, judging you wanting...this is tribal behavior turned against you. Put extra steps into the watching, with extra props, and its small village behavior, people being nosy about you, questioning you always, wanting to know when you'll conform ("When are you going to be married?"), and looking harshly through their windows at your goings on they disapprove of. Stick a label on it, for the public good, and you have made it political. But the fear at its base is not political, its a fear of other people.
Looking at some of the comments, this episode may be about to Get Me. Oh well!