Tom Segura - Living Past 70 Would Be Terrible
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- #TomSegura on strip clubs in Toronto, skipping grades in school, and why living past 70 years old.
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“Let’s be honest, you ever just be tired of being alive” felt like he asked me personally and directly
Talk to somebody
Love this comment hhaha
you're so unique and special
DNT lie eric
ditto
The one and only time I went to Beef, some woman stripped to 3 Rage Against the Machine songs back to back to back. It was magical.
Someone else put together a compilation of his bit about “Bikes!” with original footage from that show, so you get to see the kid with the bowl-cut getting verbally abused... ahhhh lot...
@@chazblank2717 WHERE? i wanna see it pls drop the link or what i can search up to see it
@@ablabuda4662 just search Tom Segura scared straight, it got a black guy verbally abusing a kid in the thumbnail
There's a midget that works there!
What 3 songs
I'm 71. That pretty much sums it up.
To add sugar to the pot, look up his basketball dunk injury haha.
I used to tell my parents ld leave home at that age
As George Carlin would say,
"I'm 71, which means I'm 69 with two fingers up my ass."
Oh God David! I'm 70, be 71 next month! Dana please tell me whut it's like? And Don what do I have to look forward too?
Hey, and Bob, and do you kno jim Biden the Presidink ? Heard he's an asswhorele !
David Knigge - I’m 60, and I remember everyone being excited about increasing life expectancy when I was a kid. “When you kids grow up, most people will live past a hundred! Isn’t that great?” I wish I said “Yeah, but will they do so willingly?”
My dad has a great sense of humor about being old. He'll look up into the sky, shake his fist and scream "you can't keep me here forever!
lol epic dad
Watching an old man shake his fist at clouds is one of lifes greatest pleasures
LOL🤣
Brooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My dad is kinda the same except he cant raise his fist.... with all that dirt on top of him 😜🤣👍
"He can add like a son of a bitch. Four, eight, twelve... he gets it." He nails the tone on those lines.
I worked at a nursing home in my youth. When I walked into the room I would ask the men I was taking care of "What can I do for you today." They would always answer "You can get me a coffin."
Sad. The ideal is to keep your faculties long enough to not be a burden and pass away at home.
Probably more cause their useless kids couldn’t take care of em and dropped em at a nursing home? Lol
@mopar muscle
Shoulda raised better kids
@@robertloerwald3 Maybe but this guy owned a hotel chain and didnt want for anything other than death it would seem. He had a private room and a private RN. Cost him about 20k a month 20 years ago. Well, come to think of it. I do not know if he had any family. None ever visited him. I was there for about a year.
@@leegibson5469 That was really depressing but interesting. Thank you.
"I'm coming round the corner, look down"
that killed me hahah
He's not wrong, my girlfriend's grandfather actually just passed away due to his spine snapping from taking out the trash. Kinda eerie that Tom mentioned this exact cause of death here in this bit.
come on now. grand kids clearly broke that spine then glued it back so trash could take the fall
@@thedredgod shhhhhhh don't blow her cover bro
Tom knows.
Well this is the darkest CZcams comment I’ve ever read
@@dc3174 You sweet innocent child. There are many darker comments out there lol.
It is sad though in all seriousness -- he was a kind man and his death was very preventable. In fact, his neighbor had actually told him he would take out his trash after work, but the old fella tried to do it himself before the neighbor came and he fell on the concrete in doing so. I'm happy I got to meet him before he died. Just super weird to hear this precise cause of death mentioned in Tommy's bit here! This happened about 6 months ago.
BEEF is an aggressive name even for a steak house
*Guy #1:* I could go for a nice New York strip. Know any places where I can grab a steak?
*Guy #2:* Lemme see; there's Grey Slate Bar & Grille, Stax of Flapjax, Chateau de Vineyard... and Beef.
*Guy #1:* (slightly taken aback)"Beef"? That's the name of the place? I'm kinda' curious to see how it---
*Guy #2:* No. Just... no. I'm sorry I brought it up. But for real, NO.
😂😂😂
My mom was a hair stylist at a nursing home for a few years. She had a client named Gladis.
Every time she came in, my mom would ask “how are you today Gladis?”
And without fail, Gladis would say “I’m 96 and I want to die”
Jesus.....(upvote)
@@seanpatterson5948
redditor moment
Gladys
@@frankcarrasquillo6394 are you correcting my spelling for the name of someone you don’t know and never met?
@@gabe2349 👍
I have to appreciate that he changed it from "third grade" to "grade three" for the Canadian audience. Thats attention to detail.
yeah all the states have their own quirks
@@meesalikeu like the state of canada, or the vatican
I'm 71 Tom but enjoying life, your comedy is the best!
I don't understand how the crowd isn't laughing their heads off. I'm dying! What a great bit! Tom is in my Top 3 favorite active stand-up comedians.
Every clip from this venue sounds like the audience hates the comedian. I really think it's because the audio feed is only from the one handheld mic, so it only picks up the laughs from the front couple of rows.
Who r the other two
Canadians
Same!!
idunno man, I guess he's not that bad but I often feel he's like Louis C.K. on decaf.
You can tell this is an old clip because he still looks like Bert.
Bert is definitely a Beef girl
Bert 100% would love the beef.
This crowd was dead. He's amazing!
The audience is Canadian, let them be boring.
That woman in the front row can butter my croissant anytime.
I think the crowd isn't very big
Me2🎉🎉🎉
Omg! The old man! “I don’t wanna be here anymore “ I busted out laughing and my husband almost wrecked!🤣
Very funny. I’m 58 and have an 86 year old friend. So outgoing and funny. We meet at least once a week at a bar with friends and he’s socializing with everyone! Plus they rarely put charges on bill for him. There are fun and cool old people out there!
Right. Me too- many friends in their 80’s ....My guess is Funny Tommy’s opinion will shift as he approaches 70.
@@alzychoze6591 "Getting old is a fascinating thing...the older you get, the older you want to get."-Keith Richards
It's called comedy, calm down. Don't take him so seriously.
@@Mrh3rpd3rps he is funny!
We get it U found a diamond in the rough
"I'm coming around the corner look down".😭 I laugh out loud and hard and that rarely happens, even with good comedians.
I love that he asks if we ever tire of living. Nobody ask that question, but we all have that feeling sometimes. Love me some Tom Sugura!
"Are you ever tired of being alive ?"
That one girl in the audience : WOOO ! Death is awesome !
got a good laugh from this. well played
Death WILL be awesome. Life isn’t an infinite onion of self-discovery surprises. It’s just boring.
Its called the beef baron.. was formerly a steakhouse.. name was never changed.. and yes. It is grimey AF!! Lol love it
Didn’t the hells angels run that club?
My parents were born on the same day. They're in their mid 80s now. My mom just suddenly fell apart around 20 years ago she looks terrible and has all sorts of medical issues. My dad still looks like a young god. It's amazing. Getting old is different for different people.
a young god, out of all the terms 🤣
May your parents keep a sense of humor
Man generally age more gracefully.
@@shadowpriest2574 That is not true.
The dice roll of genetics can be a friend or foe.
This version of Tom looks like a drunk Orson Welles selling champagne.
Nice reference
*AAAAAAAAAAAH* the French!
Segura looks like Jack Black with a high IQ.
The finest frenshhhhampain
Tom is one of the greatest comedians.
70? I am almost half through my 30s, and Ive had enough. Im tired of being alive.
sameee...
Agreed. Not worth living.
Hmmm? OH !! Sell off your body parts! A kidney here, an eye there, maybe a lung.... You'd have 💰 to do FUN stuff and enjoy life again! Just sayin.
I heard there's a strip club in Ontario that might bring the wonder back to your life.
I'm 34 I've almost give up on life I don't even masturbate anymore I have a girlfriend I proposed to years ago can't be bothered to marry her anymore most she gets is a morning quickly
jokes about breaking his spine, then breaks his arm horrendously trying to play basketball in his 40s
Ha ha 😂😂😆😆😋😂😅😂🤣😭😭😭 with the name of the place I was going u I too to it up
That's like saying,
Joked about getting pulled over. Gets pulled over.
Ain't that uncommon lol
That shit was hilarious. I’ve watched Tom laugh as people suffer terrible injuries on his podcast so I thoroughly enjoyed laughing my ass off as he went “ehhh ehhhh ehhh” on the ground 😂😂😂
I believe he also has a joke about skateboarding at 40+
Fake.
My husband and I are old. He was smiling and I was LMAO, tears streaming. You nailed it, bud.
I'm from and live in London Ontario. Love hearing Tom talk about us...good or bad
“I’m comin around the corner look down” lmao 😂
I don’t know where my life would be if I didn’t know about this national treasure of a human. God I love him
are you a sociopath? to get the best value and relate you kind of need to be
Ok let's not get carried away alright ? Exaggerate much?
maybe a little?
I've been to Paris, Tennessee, and never knew that their "Eiffel tower" existed until just now. Apparently it was built for a fair in the early 1990s. but it's hardly a local point of pride, from what I saw (as a visitor). What they do love there, is the giant fiberglass catfish on top of the "Welcome to Paris, Tennessee" sign!
Awonder how many ppl poked their eye out on the pointy whiskers?
LOL .. there is a Paris TX too and they also have an eiffel tower
"I'm coming around the corner. Look down." hahahahahhaha
“I’m not suicidal, I just eat like it.”
Tom should visit the Parthenon in Nashville.
Or Knoxville, Tennessee 🤣🤣 I think that’s worse than the Paris one
The Parthenon in Nashville is cool, though. The tall, ghetto residential building next to it isn't.
Or Memphis Tennessee
Paris, Texas
@Atlantis Rising Great Town. Lived here my whole life.
My great-grandma (who's like 80-something) carried two of my heavy ass suitcases up her ice-covered stairs in negative Canadian weather in like 2.5 seconds and then told me to hurry up cuz it was cold outside. And I wasn't being lazy, she's just fast lmao😂
I guess when you're that old, you can just risk death like a motherfucker when you're tired of living.
I LOVE TOM SEGURA! He is hysterical 😭
Wanna go to Beef?
Nah let's go check out Fart.
That part had me dyin!😆
Living does get tiresome. Just wait another 20 years & the years will weigh on you like a ton of bricks.
I've literally not said this in a solid 20-25 years but I could hang out with this guy. We'd be right there.
“Alright, let’s check out fart”
I laughed so hard I cried😂
After 30 years in the military…. Living past fifty is a real ball buster….
Too much partying, too much breaking down my own body.
Very true brother….. very true
Just to set the record straight. I'm 75 and every day is like the first day of the school holidays.
My Grandma always says, she is like one of the old dudes from the bible. That she is full of life now, satiated. She ate every curse life has to offer and now she just gets to wait in peace - and please don't call me for mothers day.
"I'm coming around the corner look down" ☠💀☠💀☠😭🤣😂
I’m so old, I don’t buy green bananas anymore
🤣
I don't even have a fridge no more
Let’s wrap this shit up...word
I can listen to this guy for hours
Tom, you're - definitely - the best !
He has a gift for making light of grim and gritty facts of life. It is not surprising he is so popular right now.
It's The Beef Baron if I remember correctly
Bro do you live in Bethlehem?????
@@andrewpandrew7786 that's racist
You are correct.
I'm 75!..and still say.."like" in a sentence!!..😂
Preach Tom Preach! This was spot on 💯% accurate!
Man, this guy is reading my mind. He’s hilarious!
are you a sociopath?
Woo woo. This guy keeps me high and tight. Def some serial killer vibes though
Tom Segura is FCKN HILARIOUS 🤣🤣🤣🤣
2020 must have been paradise for Tom. 🤣
I thought 2020 was the best. Peace and quiet. No invitations no interruptions. Oh the good old days.
He's one of the greatest, nothing you can say will convince me hes not.
lets wrap this shit up
for real
I’ve got great Norwegian genetics my great grandfather is in is mid to late 90s and recently beat cancer he is still in great shape.
Fantastic! Accidents happen.
Tom Segura is so awesome! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
So in Alaska we have a strip club in town called "The Great Alaskan Bush Company" Seems about on the same level of reasonable name.
I’m comin around the corner look down 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm going to use that
Ironically I told my family that once I hopefully hit 60 I pretty much give up on life and won’t matter what day I die from then on. I know the harsh truth is that no one wants to take care of old people so if I do get to old age I wouldn’t want to be a burden so I’d look for ways that can possibly just end me since I’ll be a fragile person. Don’t want someone not related to me to not willingly change my diapers if my mental composition is still working for that to happen.
These days old is 90s. You'll see. Sixty is great.
Bud, real family would never consider taking care a burden.
"What goes on there?"
"Pretty intense shit, actually." LOL
"Your spine will snap!" 😂
this guy gets me..
This set is my spirit animal.
Se-GU-Raaaaahhhhh
Tommy Buns keeping it high and tight with this set.
Show grandpa VIDEO GAMES.
Once he learns how to work the "computer" He'll be young again in a second life.
nope, didn't work. 2 grandsons tried and neither could. I"m a Pinball Wizard, got the crazy flipper fingers not button thumbs. I'm Olde.
Sadly I agree. My 86 year old friend thinks Facebook suggested friends are requesting him to follow them. He often accepts as he doesn’t want to offend, then complains about it. We show him weekly how to navigate, but after a hundred times explaining I’ve given up
More likely he’d end up swallowing a gun - Video Games?!?! GTFOH
@@RIXRADvidz There is flipper buttons with modded controllers haha. Pinball is sweet though..
Bought my old man an Xbox with Madden and MLB and he plays it all the time
Lmfao I drive by the beef every day!!! The pride of London Ontario!!
“Smite me!! Oh mighty smiter!!!” 😂😂😂
Meanwhile a 94 year old woman that sat in front of my mother in church delivered meals on wheels for old people who couldn't get around. 94 freakin years old. She was somewhat of a grumpy old bitty but I tossed the humor at her all the time and made her laugh. She loved me. Told mom when mom was away on vacation that we had a party at her house and Mary was dancing on the kitchen table. She about died. Then she brought dancing on the table laughing every time I saw her after that and told all her bitty friends that story too.
"can I get me a crass-aunt?" LOL
I just turned 70 and I'm going up to Idaho for 2 months of snowboarding Better late than never
Genius at work
Yes! It’s exhausting just being me some days.
‘He can add like a son of a bitch’ killed me 😂
My grandma lived until 90. From 70 on if you asked her how she was she would say the same thing... I'm just waiting for the good lord to take me. She was very religious and she meant it. What do you say back to that?
Godspeed?
Love old school Tom.
The beef bit is amazing this crowd didn’t deserve it
He won't take me, hilarious 😂
"Spinal Snap". That should be the name of the sequel to "Spinal Tap".
Not gonna lie when he asked if your tired of being alive.. I was like yup lol
There’s a hole in the wall stripclub here in central pa called “Castaways” so I mean beef doesn’t sound so bad🤣
"Beef" sounds like a better name for male adult entertainment place.
It’s the “What’s up dog” for me
man I SO identify with the last two minutes of this video haha
I just had to think of this bit because I was feeling like "I'm so tired" 😅 like Tom said, not suicidal, just "ugh." - doesn't help when in addition your stomach is full from dinner 😋
the real tom seguar channel doesn't flood their videos full of ads, remember that
6:05 guy in lower left looks to see if grandpa is there
When people ask me, how great is Rome… yeah it’s not that Rome🤣🤣🤣
I'm with you 💯!
Tom looks like one of those hella cool admins or custodians at an elementary school
I don't wanna meet new people. Not one new person for the rest of my life.
I think Tom Segura is my soul mate
"I've been a fat old guy for 147 years." -Steven Segal
I totally agree, I keep hoping that I am on the 65yo and done plan... and I can see the check out line from here!
Missed opportunity to name the strip club "Queef"
AUGH!!!! MY EYES!!!!!
you think beef is an intense name for a strip club...There is one in Alabama called "peppermint rhino."
JESUS!!! 🤣 Im in NFlorida. Where we talkin’?…Close to Dothan?…im intrigued 🤔🤣
And one in Carter Lake, Iowa called the Spearmint Rhino.
@@frankieelder3210 We had a Spearmint Rhino in Albuquerque, NM. It was shut down 15 years ago. Too many stabbings and a lot of trafficking going on... That place was intense
There is also a spearmint rhino in San Jose, CA
The chain called Spearmint Rhino has 31 locations - USA, UK, and Australia (Yeah, I wiki'd it...)
Peppermint Hippo (from South Park!) is now being used by a couple actual strip joints as well.
THAT was an interesting internet rabbit hole - thanks!
I'm nearly 40 and everything hurts almost all the time from past sports injuries. I want out, and I can't imagine how much I'll want out at 70+