Jack Whitehall Is NOT HAPPY With Vegans | Stand Up

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 22. 07. 2020
  • Jack Whitehall is back with a new stand up comedy special on Netflix, and in it he has some very strong feelings on veganism. From the number of non-dairy milk alternatives to The Impossible Burger, Jack is a bit over it (to put it mildly).
    Check out Jack's new comedy special I'm Only Joking on Netflix right now.
    ➡️SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: bit.ly/29kBByr
    About Netflix:
    Netflix is the world's leading streaming entertainment service with 183 million paid memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without adverts or commitments.
    Find Netflix UK on:
    ➡️TWITTER: bit.ly/29lYvcs
    ➡️INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/29slD8O
    ➡️FACEBOOK: bit.ly/29mx00a
    Or visit the Netflix WEBSITE: nflx.it/29BcWb5
    Jack Whitehall Is NOT HAPPY With Vegans | Stand Up
    / netflixuk
    Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 2,7K

  • @jpage813
    @jpage813 Před 3 lety +10175

    “She looked at me like I had requested it from hers” That killed me 🤣🤣🤣

  • @KDaisy_82
    @KDaisy_82 Před 3 lety +6161

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT!!!" I'm crying. He is absolutely one of my favorite comedians.

    • @imperallady
      @imperallady Před 3 lety +35

      Stoooop milkiiing shiiit! I laugh like hell every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @lisa_san7037
      @lisa_san7037 Před 2 lety +9

      I can’t breathe 😂😂

    • @lordaurelius83
      @lordaurelius83 Před 2 lety +9

      If the video had captions I would've made it into a meme

    • @spinarch5482
      @spinarch5482 Před 2 lety +4

      This man complains in sope opera.

    • @thegreenrabbit2737
      @thegreenrabbit2737 Před 2 lety

      same tho

  • @thecalamity278
    @thecalamity278 Před 2 lety +3093

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT"
    Dumbledore said calmly

  • @abbiecarter4578
    @abbiecarter4578 Před 3 lety +5391

    fun fact, in arizona plant-based milk can no longer legally be allowed "milk" because the farmers got mad, so we have a wide variety of "nut juices"

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 Před 3 lety +231

      First time I’m envious of America

    • @shutout951
      @shutout951 Před 3 lety +146

      @@chriscostanza8873 i give it about 20 minutes before the French milk farmers park their tractors on the highway and bring this to Europe.

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 Před 3 lety +43

      @@shutout951 french milk market is very different they have levels of pasteurisation to consider first.

    • @bossman8805
      @bossman8805 Před 2 lety +148

      imagine being such a snowflake you get upset by something being called milk 😂 that’s like saying oh you can no longer say chicken drumsticks cuz percussionists got mad

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 Před 2 lety +3

      @@bossman8805 ironically milk substitutes actually have a much higher profit margin, shelf life and I’ve found people are actually willing to pay more for it for those snowflakes are fairly business savvy

  • @aricaine5024
    @aricaine5024 Před 3 lety +10516

    He would be the most wonderful actor for Shakespearean comedies.

  • @HardDiff
    @HardDiff Před 3 lety +6824

    “Your suffocating me~ no actually I’m making you oxygen negative” I shall use this quote in my life somewhere.

  • @marycanary86
    @marycanary86 Před 3 lety +4788

    "will everyone. stop. milKING. SHIT?!?!?!"
    i had to pause and cry-laugh

    • @edram4051
      @edram4051 Před 3 lety +15

      That makes two of us! 😂😂

    • @BadoodRust
      @BadoodRust Před 3 lety +12

      Better than stealing milk from cows that produce it for their babies which are also stolen so that humans can consume it and not them

    • @sheilahanindra3316
      @sheilahanindra3316 Před 3 lety +4

      the MILKING part got me

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 Před 3 lety +22

      Vegans : We are the only species that drinks the milk from a different species
      Zookeeper that has spent his life feeding milk to every baby mammal ever: Uhh...Wot?

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 Před 3 lety +9

      @@BadoodRust True because lions and sharks never seperate the weak and young from the herd for food

  • @jamesdick2580
    @jamesdick2580 Před 3 lety +2996

    the way he named off every single one of those different kinds of milks, i swear my mind nearly blew a gasket just trying to remember them all. i even slightly got cross-eyed.

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 Před 3 lety +5

      I know right 😂😂

    • @jamesdick2580
      @jamesdick2580 Před 3 lety +1

      @Jack Marsden yeah well, not all of us feel the compulsive need to keep track of every single knd of milk out there. many of us got better things to do with our time.

    • @sebastianfeeney5101
      @sebastianfeeney5101 Před 3 lety +2

      @@jamesdick2580 he changed his name to a girl wtf he’s exposed

    • @Sunnysidedie
      @Sunnysidedie Před 2 lety +7

      And the dances when he did 🤣💀

    • @jamesdick2580
      @jamesdick2580 Před 2 lety

      @@sebastianfeeney5101 looks like he also deleted his comment, or his profile altogether.

  • @devolinedits4481
    @devolinedits4481 Před 3 lety +8414

    “We’ve got a coconut milk - We’ve got an almond nut milk - We’ve got a hazelnut milk - We’ve got a cashew nut milk - We’ve got a macadamia nut milk - We’ve got an oat milk - rice milk - hemp milk - soy milk - you can have it from a bean, from a _____ , from a nut, from a grain, from an oat, from a _____ , from a seed, from a tree”. SOUNDS LIKE DR. SEUSS FOR THE 21st CENTURY

    • @xakirax_8864
      @xakirax_8864 Před 3 lety +68

      It does!

    • @the_purple_kat
      @the_purple_kat Před 3 lety +105

      I think the two blanks are pulp (or pulse?) and wheat.

    • @thecassman
      @thecassman Před 3 lety +167

      The blanks are 'pulse' and 'flax'

    • @gablison
      @gablison Před 3 lety +47

      I thought it was pulse and leaf

    • @jimmyjab190
      @jimmyjab190 Před 3 lety +27

      @Ruach Van der Merwe cow milk tastes good, everything else doesn't

  • @racheljones2328
    @racheljones2328 Před 3 lety +7405

    Just gotta say, that shirt makes his blue eyes POP!

  • @totome9039
    @totome9039 Před 3 lety +1715

    I love the british humour. Some people find it dry but i find it hilarious. I love how they can be snappy too.

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 Před 3 lety +19

      I know right? Trying to explain it to anyone just nigh impossible, it just is funny!!

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx Před 3 lety +13

      It's brilliant! One of the reasons why I moved here. Some people don't get it thou. From which part of the world are you from if I may? 🙂

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 Před 3 lety +11

      @@AnnaPxx I am from Yorkshire in England (so a northerner if you're game of thrones fan!) I've been raised on British humour so I understand it haha 😁😁 What about you, my friend?

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx Před 3 lety +4

      @@sarahbrightmore3749 thanks for replying! I live in Yorkshire too 🙂👍🏼, I'm Italian originally 🇮🇹 🇬🇧

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 Před 3 lety +1

      @@AnnaPxx No worries always nice to chat, which part of Yorkshire? Wow always wanted to see Italy

  • @richardxia1720
    @richardxia1720 Před 2 lety +345

    “You are suffocating me!”
    “Just making you oxygen-negative”
    💀💀💀

  • @harmonyqueue
    @harmonyqueue Před 3 lety +3992

    Jack: You are drinking _nut_ juice.
    Gays in the audience: I don't... get...

    • @stephss
      @stephss Před 3 lety +48

      Right...only gay people with testicals ...

    • @frogsy1464
      @frogsy1464 Před 3 lety +16

      Steph Ss shhhh

    • @bjn_bikes9015
      @bjn_bikes9015 Před 3 lety +4

      Your not wrong

    • @thekrrib
      @thekrrib Před 3 lety +26

      Yup ... I've got no problem drinking nut juice 😉 ... Oh, I'm a chick ... and a Vegan 😆 Best Vegan bashing comedy I've ever heard.

    • @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500
      @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500 Před 3 lety +2

      ha, thats gayyyy

  • @Dayday-6297
    @Dayday-6297 Před 3 lety +760

    4:35
    "You drove here in a fucking hummer"
    Bruh I was drinking the milk from my cereal and it came out my nose XD

    • @hussainbedair7676
      @hussainbedair7676 Před 3 lety +16

      But was it disgusting titty milk?

    • @Dayday-6297
      @Dayday-6297 Před 3 lety +20

      @@hussainbedair7676 Yes, yes it was titty milk

    • @richyyLR
      @richyyLR Před 2 lety +4

      Sure it did

    • @aesthetichousehold3319
      @aesthetichousehold3319 Před 2 lety

      @@Dayday-6297 DISGUSTING *WAVES A CROSS IN YOUR A FACE* /j

    • @phoenix0166
      @phoenix0166 Před 2 lety +25

      Wait the cereal or the milk? Also what kind? Was it from a tree? A seed? A nut? A flower? A family SUV? A brick? A goddamn cell tower because we’re that kind of people?

  • @danniep2737
    @danniep2737 Před 3 lety +374

    Literally whenever I have cereal now, I'm like "Gotta pour my dirty _titty_ milk"

    • @janewhite9398
      @janewhite9398 Před rokem

      You think that's funny sad little person oh sorry your a cow because you obviously are you drink her milk made for her baby 🍼

    • @PapaLobo94
      @PapaLobo94 Před 5 měsíci +3

      Well played, good sir 👏🏻👏🏻😂😂

  • @davidamado3651
    @davidamado3651 Před 3 lety +257

    And quoting Taylor Swift: “Oh damn, never seen that color blue”... his eyes are gorgeous

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls Před 3 lety +2555

    Jack's got the posh vegan jokes done and Daniel sloss has the middle class vegans sorted

    • @xpledgeturnprestigex
      @xpledgeturnprestigex Před 3 lety +18

      Posh and middle class are generally the same thing, aren't they? Most middle class people I know are also pretty posh haha

    • @janimates2204
      @janimates2204 Před 3 lety +62

      Emily Stark the difference is that middle class thinks they’re posh

    • @yellowcrocs9000
      @yellowcrocs9000 Před 3 lety +22

      Emily Stark think it depends on the area you live in cuz most middle class ppl ik aren’t posh at all lol

    • @AMPFEAST
      @AMPFEAST Před 3 lety +14

      I dont know if one can really talk about "sorted" and "done" considering how lame the jokes are and how they will probably wont even phase most vegans except maybe for their misinforming character

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 Před 3 lety +26

      @@AMPFEAST who hurt you boo?

  • @lexietaylor9722
    @lexietaylor9722 Před 3 lety +1924

    The best part is, he’s making fun of all types of milk drinkers. This was so funny.

    • @talyah23
      @talyah23 Před 3 lety +61

      No he isn't...he's making fun of vegans while being proud of drinking raped cow milk meant for calves and not humans.

    • @kikidee6741
      @kikidee6741 Před 3 lety +51

      @@talyah23 Raped💀 Now we're raping the cows huh....what in the world

    • @lifeoftennis1285
      @lifeoftennis1285 Před 3 lety +26

      @@kikidee6741 Submit/force a puppy into a cage/rack so she can’t escape and then shove your fist and a rod up her private parts... and it’s rape
      Do it to a cow though... and tHeRe’S nO IsSuE

    • @NYD666
      @NYD666 Před 3 lety +37

      @@lifeoftennis1285 well, tastes great

    • @yaamir7201
      @yaamir7201 Před 3 lety +11

      @@lifeoftennis1285 Spitting fax

  • @lunarcreepypasta6937
    @lunarcreepypasta6937 Před 3 lety +890

    My lactose intolerant butt: "Lol yeah too many milks" *Chugs half gallon of milk* "Imma regret this later but that's a problem for future me"

    • @mayimwater3858
      @mayimwater3858 Před 3 lety +61

      "Would you please refrain from entering the hotel swimming pool if you have active diarrhea"

    • @lunarcreepypasta6937
      @lunarcreepypasta6937 Před 3 lety +7

      @@mayimwater3858 😂😂 of course Distinguished Host!

    • @curse4384
      @curse4384 Před 2 lety +5

      “And u don’t give a damn about that guy”

    • @leviroch
      @leviroch Před 2 lety +18

      You can always tell if someone's a real lactose intolerant person coz they'll just roll the dice when it comes to cheese. . . Bust out the triple cream brie and crackers and they'll just buy an extra roll of shit tickets and pre-book the loo :D

    • @cvgurau
      @cvgurau Před 2 lety +4

      if i ever met past me that guy’s catchin hands

  • @spinarch5482
    @spinarch5482 Před 2 lety +183

    "Last I checked, almonds are pretty flat chested"
    "You are drinking NUT JUICE!!"

  • @liriquack
    @liriquack Před 3 lety +1679

    Those pretty eyes...

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 Před 3 lety +10

      I never noticed them before.
      Are they contacts?

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack Před 3 lety +9

      @@TCt83067695 I don't know, this is pretty much the first time I've seen him

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 Před 3 lety +12

      @@liriquack I just watch another clip and he made a joke about wearing contacts and sleeping with his eyes open on a plane.
      So yeah these must be contacts lol.
      Awesome detective work if I do say so myself lol

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack Před 3 lety +2

      @@TCt83067695 yeah that makes sense!

    • @AmWhoCares
      @AmWhoCares Před 3 lety +12

      ​ @TCt83067695 I had never noticed his eyes before this clip, Googled him and on all the pictures I've seen he always had blue eyes... Guess his polo shirt really brings them out

  • @oliviascott2995
    @oliviascott2995 Před 3 lety +923

    *makes joke about tofu*
    camera: *pans to Asian man*

  • @AlexB-mu8ox
    @AlexB-mu8ox Před 3 lety +653

    Having been plant positive for nearly a decade I’ve seen too many comedians’ vegan skits just be downright offensive... this was excellent and the man has not an ounce of malice.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 Před 3 lety +20

      You think? I have a minor problem with all these comedians, being extremely liberal about everything, but when it comes to vegans, they become very... in lack of a better word: racist.
      And I have a problem with comedians providing comedic relief for mass rape and mass murder...

    • @Tcrumpen
      @Tcrumpen Před 3 lety +93

      @@Zett76 its not that they are making jokes about vegan as a dietary choice. Its the attitude of the people they are making jokes about

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 Před 3 lety +12

      @@Tcrumpen you mean like "you are killing animals, for no vital reason"?
      (which is just fact)
      That "attitude"? 😁
      (and more often than not, even "I'm vegan" is enough to trigger and/or offend people... 😂)
      Don't call your reactions our mistakes. 😉

    • @pig9412
      @pig9412 Před 3 lety +18

      @@Zett76 Wow, you literally proved his point. 🤡 Well, lets mark you off as another stereotype and have the rest of us move on with our lives.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 Před 3 lety +1

      @@Tcrumpen what about the "comedic relief for mass murder" don't you understand? 😁
      I mean, I get it. As everyone tries to believe to be one of the "good" ones, you have to ignore that part...

  • @maggiem6209
    @maggiem6209 Před 3 lety +131

    I don't think I've ever had to pause a comedy vid to literally cry laughing. 😂😂😂

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 Před 3 lety +1

      and you paused this!??? blimey.. you need to watch some actual comedy

    • @maggiem6209
      @maggiem6209 Před 3 lety

      @@bazza5699 Not usually a comedy fan, myself. I tend to be frustrated by it more often than not but I find one every so often that makes me laugh.

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 Před 3 lety

      @@maggiem6209 look up Stewart Lee... and his stand up regarding observational comedy...

  • @Milfuelle100
    @Milfuelle100 Před 3 lety +1167

    Me: *laughs*
    Also me: *hasn't had dairy milk in 3 years*

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 Před 3 lety +31

      Ten years for me, yet I was laughing on floor!

    • @simransimran9339
      @simransimran9339 Před 3 lety +4

      You mean the chocolate or regular milk?

    • @gamleskalle1
      @gamleskalle1 Před 3 lety +1

      4 years

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 Před 3 lety +10

      @@simransimran9339 Either. I am both allergic and lactose intolerant.

    • @kogbechie123
      @kogbechie123 Před 3 lety +2

      4 years for me too!

  • @hiroki_rinn
    @hiroki_rinn Před 3 lety +201

    My brother-in-law said “nut juice” while we had a similar “too many milk options” conversation the other night and my CZcams listened and recommended this video. 🤣

  • @Prisna
    @Prisna Před rokem +25

    "Nope, just making you Oxygen Negative."
    Is the sickest one-liner i've ever heard.

  • @NightRainPanda
    @NightRainPanda Před 3 lety +401

    He manages to diss vegans in the least offensive way possible, where even the vegans are kinda like, *yeahhh*

    •  Před rokem +2

      You haven't met many vegans…

    • @NightRainPanda
      @NightRainPanda Před rokem +6

      @ Yes I have. Most of them, pretty chill with this sort of humor.

  • @Ali-lh1st
    @Ali-lh1st Před 3 lety +217

    He just called a condom a bag for life😂😂

  • @noodsoof541
    @noodsoof541 Před 3 lety +686

    “Nope, just making you oxygen negative”

  • @SketchyVal
    @SketchyVal Před 3 lety +82

    "Would everyone...stop...MILKING SHIT?!" has become part of my household's daily vernacular.

  • @lucasvrochopulos7327
    @lucasvrochopulos7327 Před 3 lety +274

    This is completly off topic. But his eyes are so blue!

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 Před 3 lety +3

      They are, aren't they? 😍

    • @papagrounds
      @papagrounds Před 3 lety +4

      It's the magic of the same colored shirt.

    • @sahibathind5373
      @sahibathind5373 Před 3 lety +3

      Sexy aren't they 😜

    • @lucasvrochopulos7327
      @lucasvrochopulos7327 Před 3 lety +1

      @@sahibathind5373 i mean i do have some kinda crush on this man, so i guess we could call them that 😆

    • @davidransom643
      @davidransom643 Před 3 lety

      That’s pretty much on topic because it’s his looks if anything that have made him successful

  • @notfunny6606
    @notfunny6606 Před rokem +17

    The way he said "milking sh*t" was executed perfectly

  • @eyela3236
    @eyela3236 Před 2 lety +68

    the delivery in this bit is iconic -- he really got the absolute best out of a good concept

  • @hanikazuha
    @hanikazuha Před 2 lety +47

    "I'd like it from a nipple please..."
    Can't get enough of this after repeating it over and over again

  • @classifiedx8861
    @classifiedx8861 Před rokem +48

    “Your suffocating me”
    “Nope, I’m just making you oxygen negative”
    -Jack

  • @annejie
    @annejie Před 3 lety +993

    This is hilarious! But all those milks are a rescue team for allergic people, really. As a mom of an allergic kid I hope all these do not vanish from the counter.

    • @authorofone
      @authorofone Před 3 lety +32

      So pea milk is a rescue? How? I get having a lactose intolerance, but you don’t need 4000 variations

    • @annejie
      @annejie Před 3 lety +137

      @@authorofone There are different types of allergies, there are multiple allergies, and each of them would require a different replacement.

    • @annejie
      @annejie Před 3 lety +47

      @@Gorgomosh it is the way nature tells us that we are wasting and polluting it. And also that we eat and breathe shit that we've created ourselves.

    • @gwenthielman932
      @gwenthielman932 Před 3 lety +109

      Gorgomosh please don‘t be so rude. Imagine having a nut allergy and someone else is lactose intollerant. Soy milk is the answer. My niece for example is allergic to quite a lot of things and the only milk she got to drink in the past was butter milk and she didn‘t like it at all. All these options have been a blessing for her because sometimes your allowed to have a thing, but it might not taste good to you. Jack was laughing with it but i also don‘t think he intends for people to be mean about it towards others

    • @francomuscellini1744
      @francomuscellini1744 Před 3 lety +6

      @@scottdelingerualberta and if you drink it you get send to the bad place

  • @MarkWhiley
    @MarkWhiley Před 3 lety +530

    I only drink vegan milk but laughed out loud. Honestly, they could cut it down to Oat Milk only and be done with it. The rest either taste a bit crap in coffee and for breakfast or require a lot of water to produce. Oat is also good for most intolerances and if made from gluten free oats then you solve that as well. Bonanza.

    • @Milfuelle100
      @Milfuelle100 Před 3 lety +20

      I much prefer almond milk

    • @mooonedropper
      @mooonedropper Před 3 lety +5

      You sir are a waste of space

    • @nyams8
      @nyams8 Před 3 lety +10

      Oat milk is the besssst!!!

    • @TG-xp5zw
      @TG-xp5zw Před 3 lety +32

      I'm vegan and think most of them taste odd or bitter. I always recommend oat milk to anyone looking for dairy free options.

    • @HerbOlTea
      @HerbOlTea Před 3 lety +32

      Hm I think soy milk is the best but oat milk is ok too. I don't get the problem with having choices though.

  • @treble2994
    @treble2994 Před 2 lety +28

    Whitehall's stand up has really improved. He used to be majorly repetitive, but now he uses word play and has grown into himself beautifully!

  • @akiraamamiya4966
    @akiraamamiya4966 Před 2 lety +21

    The way he said "would everyone stop MILKING SHIT" just killed me

  • @rsswd
    @rsswd Před 3 lety +244

    He's turned into his father.

  • @houdasalhi3076
    @houdasalhi3076 Před 3 lety +337

    Not a dairy drinker but actually dead this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @darlenehoward2340
    @darlenehoward2340 Před 2 lety +24

    I'm American & this gentleman popped up on my feed today out of the blue, so I watched several of his videos. He's hilarious!! This particular bit about vegans had me laughing so much that I had to keep stopping the video so I didn't miss anything. I live in a very rural, meat & potatoes area, so I really appreciate this bit of humor.

  • @SavingwithSaadi
    @SavingwithSaadi Před rokem +17

    I've seen this special four times, and I always burst out laughing at "Would everyone....stop....MILKING SHIT!!"

  • @Pumpkin0_0
    @Pumpkin0_0 Před 3 lety +389

    How can he look like a kid and an adult at the same time?

    • @kerryann9851
      @kerryann9851 Před 3 lety +10

      Have you heard of John Mulaney? 😂

    • @Pumpkin0_0
      @Pumpkin0_0 Před 3 lety +6

      @@kerryann9851 Of course, but John Mulaney only looks a bit like a kid and an adult at the same time these days, while this guy takes things to a new level. John Mulaney's combination is more like an older teenager and a 30 year-old. lol

  • @SS-uo3uf
    @SS-uo3uf Před 3 lety +46

    I like how the segment ended, he pleased both the sides 😂

  • @aperson9641
    @aperson9641 Před 2 lety +17

    He sounds like the perfect Victorian era villain, and I love it

  • @Ihavenohandle665
    @Ihavenohandle665 Před rokem +8

    Love how he genuinely looks like he’s in pain talking about this issue

  • @miklosmorandini8211
    @miklosmorandini8211 Před 3 lety +255

    I mean... the word for plant positive is "herbivore"...

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 Před 3 lety

      You mean.

    • @saoirse7167
      @saoirse7167 Před 3 lety +1

      Is there something wrong with ‘herbivore’?

    • @willowweedsYT
      @willowweedsYT Před 3 lety +21

      Miklós Morandini Funny, but wrong, a herbivore can’t actually biologically process meat, someone who is plant positive sounds more like they’ve contracted a rare illness where leaves grow out of their ears.

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 Před 3 lety +2

      @@willowweedsYT "actually"

    • @r0bw00d
      @r0bw00d Před 3 lety +2

      @@willowweedsYT Or cauliflower.

  • @hendelcyp
    @hendelcyp Před 3 lety +19

    *"it's a bag for life"*
    ahahaha the double meaning thoo

  • @wafalakhchine7044
    @wafalakhchine7044 Před 3 lety +11

    " hot or ...cold " I couldn't breathe for a hall minute 😂😂😂😂

  • @professormcnasty800
    @professormcnasty800 Před 3 lety +128

    I DIED AT OXYGEN NEGATIVE I CANT

  • @henrikkjuus90
    @henrikkjuus90 Před 3 lety +39

    That shirt really brings out his eyes. Also, I have never seen anything so blue in my entire life

  • @severinalarie
    @severinalarie Před 3 lety +1033

    Jack: I come from a very rough part of London called Notting Hill
    Me, an American with no clue what Notting Hill is: *snort laughs*
    Edit: I understand it’s a joke and I understand WHY it’s a joke. My COMMENT was a joke. Please stop telling me what Notting Hill is. Thank you.

    • @randomgachaboi2234
      @randomgachaboi2234 Před 3 lety +15

      I can relate

    • @esobelisk3110
      @esobelisk3110 Před 3 lety +119

      I’ve never heard of Notting Hill before, but the name is so aggressively posh, I just thought of it as 'whatever the Scottish think the English are'.

    • @ivylasangrienta6093
      @ivylasangrienta6093 Před 3 lety +8

      You should watch the movie.

    • @DevyaniMulik
      @DevyaniMulik Před 3 lety +2

      @@ivylasangrienta6093 lmao, yes

    • @gabrielle916
      @gabrielle916 Před 3 lety +5

      I think of the movie Notting Hill.

  • @ara4271
    @ara4271 Před 3 lety +76

    Friend: You’re suffocating me
    Jack: Nope! Just making you oxygen-negative HAHAHAHAH I DIEDDD

  • @jays9869
    @jays9869 Před 2 lety +11

    This man is so whimsical, what a joy.

  • @warriorbard
    @warriorbard Před 3 lety +205

    Lol, as someone who is lactose intolerant, I would still agree that there are now way too many alternative milk options. I honestly didn't even know you could make milk out of some of these ingredients. I just get normal lactose free cow's milk because I have tried some of these rice and oat and hemp milks and if that's what I have to look forward to then I'd rather never drink milk again.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 Před 3 lety +20

      OK good for you. There are people allergic to soy, nuts and literally loads of other allergies so it's nice to have variety. I appreciate the humor but those alternatives are also more for vegans too. Plus I have a milk allergy so even lacto free milk made me ill, which confused me till I realised it wasn't just lactose I can't have, it's milk from cows. To get lactose out they boil it the milk, but if you're vegan this is pointless. Personally oatly oat milk is my milk of choice. This show is obviously for humour purposes, imagine agreeing with it. 🙄

    • @warriorbard
      @warriorbard Před 3 lety +19

      @@mariakhan7986 Ain't nothing wrong with agreeing to statements even if it is for humor purposes, Maria. Everyone is allowed their opinion. It's great that there are substitutes out there that cater to people's allergies and dietary requirements. What's not great is when they try to force these substitutes on you and then condemn you for just wanting the original stuff.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 Před 3 lety +4

      @@warriorbard I am not that kind of person. I do, however, object to the concept of too many substitutes. Believe what you want, but like you said, I have a right to disagree.

    • @rachelfox8108
      @rachelfox8108 Před 3 lety +1

      @@mariakhan7986 I didn't think they took out the lactose by boiling it -- I thought they added the lactase enzyme to it (at least, that's what my cartons of lactose-free milk say).

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 Před 3 lety

      @@rachelfox8108 that's what the back of the ones I buy say so maybe different brands have different techniques but anyway it's still milk at the end of the day.

  • @CurlyAndNerdy101
    @CurlyAndNerdy101 Před 3 lety +326

    He is so handsome, but I desperately wish he would straighten his shoulders. USE that height to your advantage.

    • @valerieblackwood9777
      @valerieblackwood9777 Před 3 lety +9

      It’s part of his persona. I reckon he does it on purpose

    • @Lipanj92
      @Lipanj92 Před 2 lety +1

      I agree, he should be more Chad-like with that gorgeous face and height.
      Also, American accent from the East Cost would make him more masculine.

    • @Lipanj92
      @Lipanj92 Před 2 lety +1

      @@valerieblackwood9777 Doesn't do 'im any good.

  • @nabilahstephens3983
    @nabilahstephens3983 Před 3 lety +80

    As someone who is allergic to almonds and soy, intolerant to coconut, can't have cashews on large amounts. That's why there so many milk types. I live off rice milk but my favourite is macadamia as it's so thick and delicious, better than actual milk in my opinion. Sucks I'm dairy intolerant since I love cheese so much 😭

    • @lt.branwulfram4794
      @lt.branwulfram4794 Před 3 lety +2

      That’ll be something to remember for the person inviting you over. It’s what Ronny Chieng ruthlessly, unapologetically and without a shred of remorse, refers to as a “genetic failure”. I personally disagree with this statement myself , but for reference, that stand up is also on Netflix.

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam Před 3 lety +1

      I never realized coconut intolerance was a thing until I realized I had it recently.

    • @nabilahstephens3983
      @nabilahstephens3983 Před 3 lety +1

      @@BeefySpam I know, it's in so many products too, thankfully I can handle small amounts but buying stuff can be so hard. Especially ice-cream and beauty products 😬

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam Před 3 lety

      @@nabilahstephens3983 Exactly!

    • @fredrikmudas
      @fredrikmudas Před 3 lety +1

      You love cheese until you farts 😂

  • @infires2013
    @infires2013 Před 3 lety +49

    Jack: "hail of tofu!"
    Cameraman: *cuts to some Asian people*
    Utter coincidence 😂😂

  • @tiffiguevara2926
    @tiffiguevara2926 Před 3 lety +40

    His voice is soooo mature nowww. But his wits is still great. Love you Jack! We mias you and Michael and winston :D

  • @user-kh9sm2dw1l
    @user-kh9sm2dw1l Před 3 lety +60

    I don't even drink "regular" milk anymore and this was funny as hell😂

  • @xwedfgh
    @xwedfgh Před rokem +27

    Being a lactose intolerant myself, society definitely needs to lay off the nut juice.

  • @sarahmack2598
    @sarahmack2598 Před 2 lety +5

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"nope just making you oxygen negative" had me on the floor🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Hotdog-nr3kr
    @Hotdog-nr3kr Před 3 lety +510

    Hey man, I’m just trying to save the world

  • @thebonk_
    @thebonk_ Před 2 lety +7

    yeah, coming from someone with lactose intolerance:
    we usually just order lactose-free milk unless we have other diet shit. it’s just milk with the lactase enzyme that dissolves the lactose.

  • @austindolan7182
    @austindolan7182 Před 3 lety +251

    he sounds like if stewie griffin did stand up.

  • @girlbutter4760
    @girlbutter4760 Před 3 lety +5

    The way he said "You´re the weirdos not me" killed me

    • @toni4729
      @toni4729 Před rokem

      Agree whole heartedlee.

  • @Schuyyyy
    @Schuyyyy Před 3 lety +69

    Most of the coffee and milk tea places where I live only have cow's milk but I'm a bit lactose intolerant 😂

    • @larsvegas1505
      @larsvegas1505 Před 3 lety +1

      wait so u farted 1 time after drinking a glass of milk.. amazing!

    • @rkah6187
      @rkah6187 Před 3 lety

      I think there's lactose free cow's milk by now, isn't there?

    • @victoriansteam1562
      @victoriansteam1562 Před 3 lety +5

      @@larsvegas1505 well i get diarrhea like crazy so I'd advise taking intolerances seriously

    • @Wustenfuchs109
      @Wustenfuchs109 Před 3 lety +2

      @@larsvegas1505 It means that body can't process the ingredients of milk and AT BEST people feel bad and bloated after drinking it. Farts, while common in that situation, are the least of the problems. Also, it is NOT normal for grown mammals to drink milk - in humans it is actually a result of a freak mutation in the "old world" region that allowed some humans to keep drinking milk when they grow up.
      So making fun of people who are actually a world's majority and quite frankly in tune with the rest of the evolutionary tree, is not really a smart thing to do.
      Me myself? LOVE milk! Used to drink it as soon as it was milked, still warm. Half of my meals had milk or some dairy product included. But as I grew older, it started to make me feel bad, more and more. Now, I avoid it for simply not wanting to physically feel bad after a meal. Do I still LOVE it? Damn right I do. But I still avoid it.

    • @MsOgr1
      @MsOgr1 Před 3 lety

      Just drink it black. It doesn’t need milk.

  • @mp_1231
    @mp_1231 Před 2 lety +18

    As a vegan, I love this set. Hes not punching down and hes funny. Big fan.

    • @PauLtus_B
      @PauLtus_B Před rokem +1

      Pretty crazy how much he walks the line.
      It's more about his own self-pettiness. Which is probably the best way.

    • @JW-vd4il
      @JW-vd4il Před 8 měsíci

      oh wow, a vegan with a sense of humor?! you are a unicorn!
      but seriously, I personally know some nice vegans but I'm sure you know a lot are ruining it for the rest of you.
      💞 Enjoyed your comment!

  • @aspennnnnn11235
    @aspennnnnn11235 Před rokem +2

    The little move he made when saying "macadamia nut milk" killed me

  • @Th4t_guy_
    @Th4t_guy_ Před rokem +6

    "MILKING SHIT" needs to be a text notification lol

  • @MarciCaroline83
    @MarciCaroline83 Před 3 lety +16

    LMAO! I watched the whole stand-up last night! Hi-lar-i-ous! xD No one couldn't say it better!

  • @Marie-ss9so
    @Marie-ss9so Před 2 lety +4

    "YOUR DRINKING NUT JUICE!"says jack whitehall (i died of laughing from this stand up comedy)

  • @HBoyle
    @HBoyle Před 3 lety +45

    Me: vegan of four years laughs ass off 🤣

  • @Ttfl22
    @Ttfl22 Před 9 měsíci +1

    “Nope just making you oxygen negative”had me bawling 😂

  • @1Dreamking
    @1Dreamking Před 3 lety +10

    Amazing! So many LOL's in a really short time is rare. :)

  • @kristenblount8422
    @kristenblount8422 Před 3 lety +57

    The first time I used a reusable (metal) straw, I chipped my tooth. I switched to silicone straws but I still fear they might attack too.

    • @Drexxaal
      @Drexxaal Před 3 lety +1

      Sorry! But also so 😝😜funny!

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea Před 3 lety +1

      You're not supposed to try to eat them!

  • @specificdaughter
    @specificdaughter Před 3 lety +1

    0:30
    Just, the way he pulls the mic back. It's so calculated and that just makes it even more hilarious to me.

  • @Marquee_Gaming88
    @Marquee_Gaming88 Před rokem +1

    I can't stop replaying this 0:31 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @keti6437
    @keti6437 Před 2 lety +5

    "We currently don't have a cure for cancer and there are twelve milk substitutes" LMAOOO THIS KILLED MEEE

    • @Chepperz
      @Chepperz Před 2 lety

      Ironic considering the milk he's asking for contributes to several types of cancer 😂😂😂

  • @Allindriss
    @Allindriss Před rokem +3

    OmG Jack is that one guy who always tells some story from his life and you and your friends love to listen because he can describe it in such a funny way

  • @xanderking3971
    @xanderking3971 Před 2 lety +1

    I have just found this guy and the way he just continuously goes crazy on stage is the funniest thing ever.

  • @Ballin4Vengeance
    @Ballin4Vengeance Před 2 lety +10

    “Stop MILKING SHIT!”
    Thus spake he, and the people laughed and cheered, for in their bellowing they understood not of his wisdom.

  • @idek2973
    @idek2973 Před 3 lety +27

    Basically Jack and John Mulaney are the same person 😂😂jk I love them both

    • @nonsensycal1900
      @nonsensycal1900 Před 3 lety +3

      Jack's from modern day, John Mulaney is from the 40's... That's the only difference

  • @tisen.
    @tisen. Před rokem +5

    "you're suffocating me"
    "no, just making you oxygen-negative" i can't 💀

  • @infinitevirus4826
    @infinitevirus4826 Před 3 lety +143

    You are drinking *N U T J U I C E*

  • @barbara9315
    @barbara9315 Před 3 lety +42

    “You are drinking nut juice!”

  • @missblondiee22
    @missblondiee22 Před 3 lety +344

    Okay but like, not only am I lactose intolerant, but I'm also allergic to almonds and soy, so I'm down three milk options, Jack! Yes this is a joke and I think its funny but it actually is nice to have a wide variety of options lol

    • @diananeuman6222
      @diananeuman6222 Před 3 lety +3

      lactase pills solve your problems. I dont leave home without them. I hear what you're saying, though. I work in schools (when we have them again!) So nut "milks" are not an option, plus, i hate them.

    • @walkerassasin277
      @walkerassasin277 Před 3 lety

      Pea milk

    • @missblondiee22
      @missblondiee22 Před 3 lety +17

      @@diananeuman6222 I'm allergic to those too lol

    • @Yakarash
      @Yakarash Před 3 lety +13

      At least it is a relatively harmless issue to laugh about. It is a personal choice for most (unlike gender, skin color etc)
      Though I don't get why everyone gets so defensive about veganism. It's not that different than being passionate about bacon, or whatever kind of food you prefer.
      I never have to bring it up, because everybody talks about it constantly. I don't like the taste of meat. I force myself to eat it now and then because it's difficult to get plant based food at Restaurants and most people don't know how to prepare a vegan meal that tastes edible.
      It must suck for those who genuinely can't eat most foods because of health reasons.

    • @fridayschild722
      @fridayschild722 Před 3 lety +3

      Until I was in my mid 20s when I moved out of india, I’d never heard of lactose intolerance. If I were , I Guess I would have just died,lol. In india the milk is a mix of cows and buffalo milk, which is thicker and and creamier compared to cows milk. Most of the dishes have ghee in them and almost all sweets have milk in them. But in recent years I’ve met a lot of people (non Indians) who are lactose intolerant, could it be because of our dietary lifestyle now?

  • @christinamagee7093
    @christinamagee7093 Před 3 lety +5

    He’s hilarious and divine! Those eyes man whew, it’s getting warm over here lol

  • @minus4425
    @minus4425 Před 2 lety +1

    *You're the ones milking f**cking cashew nuts* killed me

  • @unconditionallymissie8368

    YYEEEESSS!!!! I need more! This guy is so funny!🤣

  • @RebeckaSarkozy
    @RebeckaSarkozy Před 3 lety +51

    Hanging out with his dad Michael has brought out the posh in him.

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea Před 3 lety

      Having spent his life at prep and public schools probably brought our the posh in him when he was little 🤨

  • @chuckysmom4142
    @chuckysmom4142 Před 3 lety +94

    Lactose intolerant here. I like oatmilk at the moment. This is hilarious though!

    • @CyclingUrchin
      @CyclingUrchin Před 3 lety

      Same I laugh so hard at this but I drink oat milk and almond milk only

    • @JediWebSurf
      @JediWebSurf Před 2 lety

      You mean Nut juice of the oat variety.

  • @arty04
    @arty04 Před 2 lety +1

    First time watching this guy and I cannot get enough!!!

  • @kresensiawidya759
    @kresensiawidya759 Před 2 lety +10

    Just love how he exploded energy everytime he's on stage 😂 the only reason why I drink other milk than cow's is just because I'm curious. I'd still choose cow's milk any day

  • @itzmomo9
    @itzmomo9 Před 3 lety +8

    Not me drinking almond milk while watching this lol

  • @trishpiglet
    @trishpiglet Před 3 lety +9

    I'm allergic to dairy and different nut juices (LOL) taste different and some people prefer different ones
    The coffee shop server could have said ''would you like regular milk or an alternative?" and that would have got the conversation over quickly

  • @Thatholyboi2941
    @Thatholyboi2941 Před 2 lety +3

    The emotion of his voice is hilarious

  • @CoRLex-jh5vx
    @CoRLex-jh5vx Před 3 lety +7

    I enjoy that "dairy drinker" doesn't just mean people who drink milk. People could be drinking liquid cheese or melted butter and you wouldn't know.