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This is what Schizophrenia Feels Like | with Christopher Grant (xoradmagical)
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- čas přidán 14. 04. 2023
- Lauren sits down with Christopher Grant, known online as @xoradmagical884 to learn about his experience living with schizoaffective disorder, and how he uses his art to express and cope with the experience.
Thank you so much Chris for chatting with us!
You can find more from Chris here:
TikTok: @xoradmagical ( / xoradmagical )
Instagram: @xoradmagical ( / xoradmagical )
CZcams: @xoradmagical884 ( / @xoradmagical884 )
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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #art
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Natural meds veggies n fruit n more
Do research.. plus seek jesus/yahwey/holyspirit he luvs u
I luv u an want best 4 u
No fear.. jus luv n appreciation
We all have our white moments from time to time.. black jesus told me it aaight keep the love 💯
How do you two articulate yourselves so well verbally and keep track of what you're trying to say in a coherent way? I start to talk, and it all falls apart within a few seconds, and by the end of engaging with someone when i do, they are usually very put off by my meandering or word salads, or tonal inflections. It took like 10 minutes to even write this, and I'm considered higher functioning. I consider it bad, in that I know my brain is shrinking. I can feel it.
Work on talking because when you get older things become like a tree and they don’t move as well
I had the same issue in the past. I started hosting D&D sessions as a DM. This helped me learn to articulate more clearly.
You can talk to a speech specialist, do exercises, practice, there are ways to become more articulate. Be gentle with yourself no matter what
Speech disorganization is a positive symptom, which means it can be fixed with medication. If you bring it up to your psychiatrist maybe they can help you with medication to improve your speaking.
Thats like literally one of my BIGGEST struggles socially and thats the best way ive ever heard it be said. Usually with text it takes me a long time but I wright it all out as I would understand it and TRY to revise it for someone else to understand. Im 24... i think its cus ive been isolated a majority of my youth
i'm a schizophrenic artist who draws his hallucinations aswell! i actually got into art school with my paintings about hallucinations (": i love seeing others like me so great video as always
Dude, that is so cool! Congratulations on getting into art school!
Good lord I could never mine are horror shows
@ODYSSEY so are mine, it strangely helps to see them in broad daylight
What you are drawing are now known by some people as spirit guides. Hallucinations of scizophrenics used to be regarded as nonexistent decades ago. Things have changed nowadays. We Icelanders used to poke fun at scizophrenics in the years between 2006 and 20007. In 2008, the collapse happened. The collapse taught us to respect those who hear their inner voices and agree that there are multiple realities.
@@Yatukih_001 You should spirit-guide these thoughts of yours straight to the garbage can!
I'm an abstract artist who has schizoaffective disorder too. I'm also articulate and most mental health professionals over here across the pond don't understand why I use my art as a distraction. Thank you for sharing your story.
Samantha Lawrence. If you use Facebook, I would love to see your artwork. I would be described as catatonic in the past. I was stiff. Good luck.
I'm an artist who experiences psychosis (and other mental things) and I'd love to see your art too! I mainly make art to help with my brainhole, when I'm in an episode I can jump into the art rabbithole, because it's safe as well. I took a break due to renovations, I'm coming back again to it!
I do use Facebook but I'm very private on my settings. Laurie, I can look you up I assume and wired? How will I find you. I've experienced psychotic episodes too.
I have bipolar, PTSD and autism. Drawing helps me a lot with my problems as well. It helps get my feelings out.
I really enjoyed seeing Chris's artwork! Compassion is very important!
Really appreciate what you're doing. This is a guy that really deserves having his story heard.
He really nailed it with the "It's a FEELING, based off of the essence of what's going on." I can handle the hallucination and mania but the immediate feeling, like you get hit in the face with a fly swatter even if it doesn't sting after you still got hit in the face with something that hurts even if it's just for a second. So even if I'm FINE, I still got hit in the head. It's hard to explain that to people.
That's one part I argue with certain family members about. Having tactile hallucinations, they can't get over the fact that from their perspective nothing is happening, I just need to get over it it's all in my head. To me, it's very real feeling things crawling through my arms and up my neck, and constantly fighting the idea that I have parasitic worms. Or when food looks and smells dangerous, and they take it personally like I'm attacking them somehow as I struggle to swallow something that tastes sour and rotten as I fight my gag reflex.
@@recklart8592 It's tough getting people who don't have any understanding at all to understand.
@@chadgarrett6947 like translating a dead language.
He is such a bright, well spoken and gifted guy! It is hurtful for me to think that he constantly is bothered by his illness.I like him and wish him all the best!
I only have audible hallucinations and this is exhausting enough. I can't imagine what it would be like to have visual hallucinations as well. I'm glad the voices have been quiet for a while, but they'll be coming back.
They seem to always come back don’t they 😔
@@telena5042 We have to deal with it. Shit happens.
Yayyy omg Chris is our sweet friend! So happy to see this collab in my sub box 🥰🌈💫✨💕⛅️
My dad is schizophrenic and loves to draw. I'm dx autism and sketching/doodling is the most therapeutic thing. I can't focus well or gain motivation for much, but when it comes to drawing it takes no effort. Music and art do something special to the brain.
I agree! Music and Art have saved me in times when no other person could. My cat also has been a huge support and I consider him a great therapeutic and loving friend. It is a lonely illness and sometimes an animal will provide the nonjudgmental company and quiet ways that people cannot.
Thank you so much for your channel. I am trying to understand this awful illness because of a close family member who has it. But it does not affect just the sufferer, the whole family suffer watching them suffer and each time a relapse happens their world and our world changes. Poverty and living on the streets is the greatest fear, due to the delusions of the belief of living another life other than the one they have. The delusions stop them from living the life they should have had. It is heart-breaking and as far as I can see there is no cure or anything close to it coming in the future or even drugs that are more effective. I hope I am wrong. Chris is an inspiration and so are you xx
We have a friend with bipolar one or two. I can never remember which one is considered the lesser one. At any rate, he is currently homeless and he had been staying with us but our landlord had an absolute conniption fit. So even though the lease says that we can have a visitor for 14 consecutive days, he loses his shit if our friend spends say, five days here, three with his mom, and three with my son. He’s just an absolute AssWhole. Not to put too fine a tip on it. This poor kid is now having to spend nights in his car and the days with us. I am so angry I could just spit nails.
Thank goodness he has found a coping outlet for his hallucinations. This has to be a comfort for him. I pray all can find a coping mechanism for their symptoms. The figures remind me of Krampus.
I've skizzofrenia and i follow you from italy i find your videos very helpfull and realistic a big hug to you and your family
You are such a beautiful soul, Chris. Thanks for sharing your medicine.
I draw and I have psychotic depression too. Drawing is probably the only method I use to express myself because I struggle to express myself. I'm not a good artist but I find that it makes me calm and joyful.
I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without psych medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@Victory63219 I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across dradolfpetter a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@glenn9196 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@dilara4130 Does he deliver to various locations?
Where is he based too?
Thank you so much for helping me understand my son and his girlfriend.
Hi. One video that would be truly helpful is how you were/are able to train and do marathons given the capacity and energy constraints.
I haven't seen Chris in a while since I got off tiktok. I just love his content and how he explains things. Very different from other's experiences and his demeanor is just lovely
And he's a good artist
I am an artist as well, I love seeing others who are also diagnosed with schizophrenia/schizoaffective using art as a form of expression and therapy. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have the ability to express my reality through art. thank you so much for sharing your story!
Chris, you are a beautiful person which shines right through the internet to me and to us who see this video. Your artistry is so expressive and I just love it❤
I am so impressed. You are amazing. Wishing you much happiness and a more compassionate world.
Thanks both of you..nice to see Christopher ..great art work..as a care giver it helps me when i hea r people talk about their symptoms..I can relate better..understand more..awesome..
I am so glad when you explain the difference between schizoaffective disorder and schizophrenia. Thank You ❤ Wonderful interview of Chris. Love his art.
I am so thankful for your bringing light to mental illness. It’s definitely courageous & needed.❤
Seeing things would be cool for about 10 min. Then I’d be over it. I could only imagine how tiring that must be. The artwork is awesome
What an engaging artist! Can he publish a book of his art?
I have always enjoyed interacting with people with schizophrenia, but I'm getting old and don't get out so much. I would enjoy such a book.
I love this interview so much.
Thank you for having this interview, Christopher. The way you describe the therapeutic nature of artwork is so insightful and I think that helps me understand my own relationship with artwork. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences.
Love this creator! Thank you for creating this collaboration!
I'm glad this artist talked about the comforting aspect of hallucinations. Playing good music, cooking and painting can be really wonderful, like seeing sound while playing a sounscape, or getting colors just right with the image you see. Making a meal that doesn't scare me is really nice, being able to eat comfortably is one of the best experiences in life. The "flow state" is really nice when it happens, you can think without getting stuck or having obstacles, and hallucinations actually help. People that don't experience schizophrenia will probably never know what it's like, a lot of language to really express it just doesn't exist, and even what does is hard for us to use. What kills me about that is that even in hospitals among the mentally ill, we're still stigmatized, and a lot of people are either scared of us or hate us. More of us need to be able to speak openly, we're not bad or dangerous, just different and it's very hard sometimes, but we also get to experience good things that others never will.
This video is amazing, thank you so much for sharing Chris’s story. Embracing your situation and using art to express how you are feeling makes you a true artist. I wish you much success!
I feel like they have 2 souls or minds that speak with each other.
This is so great ! Thank you so much Chris & Lauren ❤
This young man has a gift. A blessed gift. Talk about encouraging….
I can't actually put into words how much I appreciate this/you alls work on this channel
CZcams recommended this video to me and I'm really glad it did. Thanks to both of you for doing this, exposing yourself to potential criticism or whatever. You both come across really well, very thoughtful and kind.
Such an important channel! Great interview too
I thought this was a great interview. Lauren asked good questions, and Chris gave tremendous answers. Well done, both of you! Thanks for helping me to understand a close friend's illness better.
Thanks for a great open discussion Lauren and Chris, this will no doubt be very helpful to some. Keep up the good work. 👏🏻
this was such a cool and fascinating interview with Chris and Lauren, his drawings are jawdroppingly talented. :) happy i saw this
Wonderful, Thank you both so much
🥰 🌅 💚 🏞 🦋 ✨🌠
🥰 🌅 💚 🏞 🦋 ✨🌠
for sharing with such honesty, openess and vulnerability for the benefit of others. Love and Many Blessings.
💖❤🧡💖💜
I had just found his channel when I saw this upload and got excited. I’m happy more people can see his beautiful work.
Lovely interview, thank you for introducing me to this person.
When I'm struggling I listen to music a lot and I try to spend time writing. There is a very real soothing effect to both. I'd like to make more music but I don't have the tools right now.
Unfortunately as my symptoms increase / intensify writing becomes difficult - I'm too disorganized and discouraged - but I still try.
Again thank you, beautiful and inspiring video!
12:20 this channel and the dialogue from Chris has helped me have more compassion and connection. You both are amazing. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for leading this interviene Lauren. I really admire your work in spreading awareness. 🙌🙌🙌🙌
I write my voices down on paper and do written dialogue with them when I'm disturbed. I don't agree with the voice hearing movement that schizophrenia is not an illness, but their techniques help me cope with my voices and the topics they bring up.
Thanks for sharing.
I am with you on that point! I too have been to HVN meetings only to learn interesting techniques like dialoguing the voices and my interplay with them. I think it’s important that people have their beliefs about their illness’s origins and their choices of treatment respected. It is so wonderful that we can all learn from each other’s lives and experience with this devastating condition.
looove this interview!! thank you!
I love this channel, keep the videos coming. Thank you for helping to raise awareness about mental health, I’m not Schizophrenic but I am Bi polar and these videos really help me to relate to other people.
Love to you guy's, I wish peace in your life 💜
The brain is amazing at filling out gaps
- by keeping busy and focusing, practicing and keeping at it - you can only get better.
Awesome explanation of the experience. This is exactly how it is. Especially with the group of voices who seem like they are all talking at once and like a group or even you reacting to things that the voices are telling you to do. Totally relate with what he's saying.
I thought I had schizophrenia it turns out I have epilepsy and a brain cyst.
If you hallucinate please get an mri folks
Did you have other symptoms too?
@@momomom81
Yes physical pain
Fantastic being so verbal. That is something that most people struggle with. Communication to explain to normies what things are like is a huge teaching tool.
Yes!! I get the lights too!! I even hallucinate that the colors I see in the world are brighter and more intense to look at! Thank you for this video! I shared it with my mom because it’ll help her understand me more!!!
This is so helpful and I'm so grateful to you. And by the way, you are a very gifted artist, Christopher. I love that you are using your talent to inform/educate others. I had a mother (she passed in 2015) with schizophrenia and have a brother with schizophrenia, and so gaining a window into your experiences--and perhaps a bit of theirs--is very powerful for me. Touches me deeply...thank you. Keep educating, please. My brother doesn't talk about his symptoms. I infer them from watching him and listening to what he says (though he doesn't talk much; he's an introvert by nature). Does Christopher sell his art? I'd like to buy a piece...
Thank you for sharing your story ❤
thank you so much for sharing your story
Thank you so much for all that you do. I was diagnosed long before they added the word disorder. I really love seeing people like you two being able to use what you're going through to help other people. It's why I started my channel, but like most people I'm afraid of the stigma that comes with it so I don't usually talk about it outside of the few people in life that know. But something about your entire personality makes it feel ok to talk about it. So please know that you are helping people and changing them for the better. Now I need to go figure out TikTok so I can look up these videos.
Yer name? 🤣.
@@chaosdweller czcams.com/channels/KVVHu1ehMz8Y7rrDY4flyw.html
Love this! Thanks so much for sharing this interview and artwork.
Same
I would love to buy one or several or more of your pictures. I love your art.
Thank you for sharing. My Uncle had Schizophrenia and got put in prison and eventually moved to a hospital. I like to learn about what he experienced.
What a well spoken, interesting and talented young man. I love your work and commentary Christopher. I will look to follow your content online!
Such a cool interview! Love all the new content ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Following the publication of Phasmaphobia, the former academic scientific consensus stating that when people see things others do not they are being crazy changed. Nowadays, it is accepted that people can see ghosts, they can hear voices and still be considered sane. Your video is very well done. Thank you for an on to point and well presented narration. Excellent, powerful and on to point narration and a great video about scizophrenia. Thank you so much for this!!Kind regards from Ásgeir in Iceland.
What a well-spoken and open-hearted person Chris is. Thanks for this opportunity to get to know Chris.
Every time I hear this stuff i get frightened because it affirms to me that schizophrenia was in fact what I was experiencing for a little while in my teens. And ultimately the catalyst for me was cannabis. Ive stopped using it. And the psychosis got a little better after a while than the initial shock. But its left a mark and im still not exactly the same as i was before. Very mild for me. Unmedicated, undiagnosed. But im grateful and amazed for your testimonies because nobody i know believed me or knew what to think when i explained it to them and i felt more isolated and alone then I could even describe, even when people were right next to me, because it was a detachment that nobody around me could relate to or experience or understand whatsoever. Thank you for your help. I pray for continued peace and love for you all. And thank you. Community, and helping each other rocks! Strength and growth and all the best ❤
Great content, you both are amazing people. In many ways your illness in a gift to us outsiders who listen to you! I know you didn’t want this illness, but your both are amazing!
Very informative video. Thank you both!
I loved this! I can relate to feeling liked youre being watched all the time. I have skitozoaffective disorder too
These are really outstanding drawings. As I look at them I find myself passing through layers of meaning. I also like watching them as they are being created. Keep it up!
I have DID; loved listening to your thoughts and seeing your artwork!!! I’m happy that you’ve found ways to harness your experience. Very inspiring, thank you!
❤
Im not sure how i ended up here, but that was a very interesting video so thank you both for sharing and raising my awareness. The art was great too!
Great very and information. This is an amazing coping skill.
I love his art, great to see an interview with him.
You people are so good nd genuine.❤
Oh wow i never knew it was like this. Im glad you draw it out. You a great artist
This is exactly what it souds like in my head 24/7. They never stop talking
How do you choose who to interview? I have schizoaffective disorder and am a psych RN but had my diagnosis long before I started working with psych patients. I am also studying to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner.
Really talented man. Interesting interview, kudos to you both😊
Thank you two
Thank you so much!!!
Such a polite interaction.
❤ what a wonderful interview!
I really appreciate both of you sharing and adding to the understanding of these experiences. My brother has schizophrenia. He has always seemed like his same self to me; both before and after his diagnosis. We are close, but we don't talk about his symptoms, and I wonder how it is for him.
I am autistic, and can relate in an interesting way, ( I think lol) to some nuances of your experiences Chris. For example, I have a constant stream of mental images. I "see" concepts and ideas as little vignettes. When I problem-solve, I tend to try to communicate my thought process to others by saying," I have this image..." while I "see" these images, it is internal; I don't see them superimposed on features of my external environment.
I really appreciate what your doing!!
Congrats on 200.000 subs! 🎉🎉🎉
One word about this interview: Wonderful!!
It's good that it seems like he's making it out of this and is on his way out of things with coping and exepting things trying to be better good for him
Wonderful Artwork and a Wonderful Interview.
Incredible. Thank you🙏
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful content.
I'm so happy to see him thriving I talked to him once on tiktok
Thank you so much.
Thank you! ❤
I’ve suffered from schizophrenia from since I was 15 which is 25 years ago now his depiction’s are the most accurate I’ve seen.
I can relate to this!😊, alot of people fear what they don't understand yet at the end of the day if people bother to interact with us they'll find that basically we're just normal human beings that go through the same stuff but in a more intense way with extra obstacles!😁, I love Chris's artwork it's similar to what I draw!, thanks for sharing n spreading awareness, takecare!😊✌️
These drawings are so much like the drawings my brother does when he has hallucinations. It’s uncanny really. I’m so fascinated by this! Your art is absolutely gorgeous!