BookTok Made Me Read 'IT ENDS WITH US' | Explained
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- čas přidán 24. 02. 2023
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it ends with us tik tok
colleen hoover
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it ends with us reaction
#tiktok #booktok - Zábava
YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT - what next?
Courtney Milan?
Netflix Show Marianne.
It Starts With Us please!!!
Thanks for your review, Amanda! Please cover the sequel, "It Starts with Us", next!
Verity by Colleen Hoover, the Spanish love deception, the love hypothesis
In my city, an abusive ex-husband recently killed his 8-year-old son as revenge on his ex-wife. It's heartbreaking. Never ever let an abusive person be alone with their child. I'm happy if even one person read this and changes their mind about co-parenting.
God, thats heartbreaking...
Definitely. And even if they don't hurt them, what kind of influence will they have, slowly undermining your relationship
Horrifying
Dear God
Most of the time you don't have a choice, the courts force visitation for the abusive parents even if they are proven to be abusive. Even r**ists have successfully gained visitation rights to children of their victims 😣
The fact that CoHo fans, mostly women, are going above and beyond to DEFEND Ryle and blame Lily for his actions is actually sickening.
I always hope the really bad ones are a vocal minority
THANKS
Whos coho?
@@pyromaniac709 Colleen Hoover
Why is it so hard for them to not support the fecking abuser. Ugh.
Lily Blossom Bloom? Truly a Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way moment from miss Hoover lmao
She's just not like other girls
Lilly Blossom Bloom has nothing on Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way
There's a character from a book series named Ever Avalon Bloom. I swear some authors go just a little too hard on the name symbolism.
Except Lily Blossom Bloom is the name of a prep that Enoby would stick her middle finger up to.
@@lostavenue4819 Lilly Blossom Bloom sounds like a prep name 🙄
"For once I am NOT mostly okay" damn they finally broke Amanda...
Truly not even the book itself, just some of the reactions
Poor Amanda, the controversy finally broke her! 💔
@@AmandaTheJedi yeah, hearing people were rooting for Ryle was extremely disturbing. 😳
Great review, Amanda. I'm a Lilly/Atlas fan, too!
The fact that Ryle's sister named her daughter after her brother who she KNEW WAS ABUSIVE felt so ridiculous to me
I agree, I know that Allysa was close to her brother, but it still felt really questionable that she still decided to honour him, even knowing that he physically abused her best friend. It also appears that Allysa tries to downplay Ryle's abuse, at least initially.
She pissed me off like even in the second book she okay with her brothers actions. Like cut him off he through your friend down the stairs like wtf
I used to be pretty close to my older brother, so I actually had to do the hard thing of cutting him out of my life when he became a serial abuser, and I had to do it as a highschooler/young adult. So believe me when I say fuck Ayllsa.
@@imjustdandy9799 totally agree with you
There are more books on this story? 😢😭 I hate everything
While I appreciate that Colleen Hoover wrote about a hard, topical subject like domestic violence, the ending of Lily choosing to keep Ryle in their daughter's life following the divorce doesn't sit well with me. Her logic is that her own father abused her mother, but never Lily herself, when not all abusers work in the same way. It just seems risky, and yet the title refers to ending the cycle of abuse.
I'd also describe abusing a child's parent as a form of emotional abuse to the child as well. Children shouldn't be exposed to violence (emotional and physical) even if it's not directly targeted at them. Even as an adult it's upsetting being around people who are arguing (even non abusively), imagine what it's like for a child to watch one of the people whos supposed to look after and protect them scream at, harrass, or physically hurt, the other person who's supposed to protect and care for them.
@@Albinojackrussel As someone who's been that kind of child once, I wholeheartedly agree! Besides, abusers tend to try and maintain their control on their victims via the children - not to mention those, who eventuelly end up "directly" abusing the children themselves...
The court will make her see her father anyway.
@@lisah8438 Depends where you live! Here in Germany I know of some cases, where the abusive part was denied contact due to their aggressive past and/or because the child stated not to feel safe near them. But I have to admit that the system's still lacking and the focus should be broadned to not just keep abusive fathers out, but mothers as well.
@@Albinojackrussel This is so true. As someone who has an abusive parent, he rarely directly emotionally abused me and mostly directed it towards my mom, but just growing up around an abusive relationship is SO deeply traumatic lol. Being regularly exposed to abuse can have a really negative effect on people. It's partly why emergency healthcare workers, law enforcement or even the humans who help machines flag inappropriate content online often have PTSD or poor mental health outcomes. Being exposed to the absolute worst shit constantly takes a toll on you even if it isn’t happening directly to you. Also just the fear of knowing you could be abused at any point because you're living with someone who has proven themselves capable and willing. And lastly like others have said, abusers often use kids to harm their current/ex-partners, so it strikes me as odd and naive to let your absuer have access to your kid just because they haven't abused that kid specifically.
"Some fans thought Lily should have told Ryle the truth about the magnet."
HARD NO.
Here's the thing about abusers:
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU'LL SET THEM OFF.
Regardless if she tells him about the Magnet or not, doesn’t stop him from being abusive. Like the fk, he hit her coz she giggled when he burned his hand. Who does that?? No normal guy does that. Abusers do.
Some fans are just idiots
What bothers me about CoHo is that in this book, abuse is called out as such and handled (mostly). But in many of her other books, abusive and horrible relationships are glorifid and "bad boys" are sexy. Those books are sold as romance in teenager sections of bookshops.
That's what I've heard
Wasn't this the book they announced a coloring book for and some other weird shit? I know they canceled the coloring book.
@@Kris-wo4pj yea that coloring book was advertised for adults and was still a terrible idea. But CoHo had that plan axed pretty quickly after the backlash and concerns.
@@Kris-wo4pj wow, did not even know about the coloring books! Several adults, including coho, approved for the production of an abusive coloring book is sooooo tone deaf. Wtf.
@Char Basilus idk if she approved it or not. I only heard about the publisher announcing a coloring book. I heard it in a list of booktube drama of 2022 a booktuber did a few weeks ago. Only one I know alot about is the Amazon self published author faking her own death and pretending to be her daughter to sell her books in detail.
I work at a bookstore and we (ages from 18-30) like to talk about what we’re reading at the moment when not working. One coworker who is 19 said that her favorite author was Colleen Hoover and that her romances were so beautiful. Everyone just gave her a dumbfounded look like 👀. She then continued with “Oh yeah, my favorite is November 9” and I asked if that was the one where the guy burns her house down and leaves her body permanently scarred from the burns. Girl was trying to make excuses on why it wasn’t that bad but I swear the rest of us started looking for book recommendations to get her out of this Hoover hole she was in. Lesson learned: don’t be a bystander when someone is reading Coleen Hoover books
My friend loves Collen Hoover and I don’t have the heart ti tell her I hated it ends with us…
Did it work ? Did she start reading other books and realising how fucked up it is ?
Honestly, not helping people like this could be considered failure to help a person in danger (yes I’m being dramatic but hear me out)
People like this can so easily get trapped in abusive relationships, it’s actually scary
The fact that those novels are marketed towards teens should never happen
I was in a abusive (emotional and sexual one) relationship in high school and while I now consider it as my vaccine, I’m still traumatised and still suffer consequences from it
I can’t even begin to imagine how more trapped I would have been if I had read those kind of books in those years
There are other pieces of media to enjoy that teach you the opposite (lore Olympus and Loki lord of chaos on webtoon come to mind !)
Had a classmate tell me that “After” was a “really cute romance” and I said “thats the one with the drunkard and the public humiliation, right?”
You can like toxic romances, but don’t lie and say they’re cute
I knew someone who loved her stuff but I didn’t know how bad she was. It came up in a convo with my friend today and I’m currently doing research and yeah… looking back it seems she also thought they were “cute”.
Did you manage to save her?
Every time. EVERY time you read one of these books, I think to myself "My fanfiction is better than this."
Every time.
Same, dude. The fact that I've both read and occasionally written fanfiction that holds up so well I forget canon says something when you compare it to books like these.
As someone who has read both fanfiction and Wattpad novels and stories, there are countless of books and fanfics there that far surpass the quality of CoHo books.
Then its time to start writing real books bestie
might share a link? I'm always looking for new stuff to read :)
@@theamandarose I write Mass Effect fanfiction currently. It's pretty niche. But if you've played and it sounds interesting, I'm Arianshep on AO3.
The pregnancy plot line almost made this a DNF for me. I felt like the story could’ve been way more impactful if she chose to end the cycle of abuse for herself. The baby felt so unnecessary and just like you said - I HATED how Ryle was suddenly down to coparent no problem and just magically wasn’t crazy anymore. Like c’monnn 🙄
Apparently the reality of the horrors of DV were beyond the author if it wasn't obvious to her that the guy wouldn't necessarily care about the baby or want the best for her. He might not even be capable of caring for others
He absolutely was still a crazy asshole, you see it in the second book. It takes about 12-18 months for Ryle to start to accept everything and settle down
@@piperlee4213 thats still unrealstic as fuck. Men like him always need to get the last punch. She should have had the baby and never let him sign the BC and just left.
@@cyagami90 yeah no, he’s a very successful surgeon who would’ve taken Lily down with his lawyers. She never documented the abuse so it is quite literally her word against his.
I agree he’s horrible and nothing in the second book with change or excuse it. But we do know from the second book he hasn’t ever abused Emerson. Lily also took preventive measures to ensure he would never hurt her; ie supervised visits, no overnights etc
Hi 👋 DV survivor here! I think the pregnancy plot line is unfortunately a reality a lot of women face, and in lily’s story, she had more resources for support than most women do. Most women jump through hurdles to leave their abuser, and it gets harder and harder the more time goes on, some women have kids with their abusers and no money to leave, no family or friend support, and/or no financial support. Lily had more support leaving her abuser than most victims do. In this book, the baby gave lily a reason to leave, and while yes CoHo could’ve made lily leave after the first incident, could’ve never written the pregnancy in, etc, that’s not the story Colleen was telling, and the reality is not so black and white. It’s a lot more complicated than just making the “right” decision.
For someone whose mother was abused by her father to be writing such books with such romanticized and sympathetic characters….it just ruffles my feathers.
that's exactly why though. girls that grow up witnessing abuse against their mothers (which is child abuse in itself, if you witnessed your parents get abused, that is abuse against you) often end up in abusive relationships themselves because it's what they consider 'normal'. this transfers to any media they make if they are in the artistic field as well.
People cope in different ways though. It's not a betrayal of her mom when her male characters are probably as a result of witnessing that abuse in the first place.
She probably has conflicting feelings about the abuse. The line that Amanda says of “I looked forward to the abuse because it ended with two perfect weeks” was probably how the author really felt.
To me it just feels like that women needs a lot of therapy instead of continuing to write books lol
It’s not uncommon for someone when they grew up in a home with domestic abuse, due to the person’s development psychology. /Former uni. psychology student
I don't understand CoHo. Genuinely.
She understands what abuse is, how it works and that it shouldn't be romanticized. Yet most, if not every single other book of hers contains abuse towards the main protagonist or genuinely horrible themes that are romanticized. We have a student teacher romance that's justified and sold as romantic. We have a dude literally obsessing over the girl he mutilated in a fit of rage and in the end, she's somehow the one to apologize to him. We have a horribly written thriller with the most boring plotline. And we had a literal rape scene in a book between the main character and the love interest (who she also ends up with in the end). And no, CoHo didn't think to remove the scene herself, it had to be brought up by countless influencers before it was edited out.
So I genuinely don't understand her or why her books, which should include trigger warnings for serious issues seeing as one book of hers literally begins with the Main Character thinking about jumping off a building, are still sold in the romance section. Especially to teens. It's dangerous as shit.
I feel like she's either doing it for the money since those "dark romance" genres sell well, or worse, she's got some kind of weird abuse fetish.
I'm physically disabled and I've heard she has a couple books about disabled characters but they're in abusive relationships and not treated right. I was verbally and emotionally abused for two and a half years (had started to turn physical/sexual). I don't think I'll ever read her books don't know if I can emotionally handle it.
i mean, doesn't the reason for this book existing explain it? she wrote this book based on what she experienced as a child, watching her mother be abused. she even states that while he was an 'abusive husband' he was a 'good father' that her mother allowed him access to her. and then she grows up seeing these dynamics romanticised in media herself. so, consciously she understands that much of it is abusive, but subconsciously still finds desire in unbalanced and abusive situations. it's even possible that, like many with childhoods like that, she went straight into abusive relationships with men once she hit adulthood.
so, i think it's very complicated. she's both a victim, and a perpetrator of the system. many women are, like all the ones defending and romanticising the relationships in her books, the ones who write really fucked up fanfiction relationships, the ones who romanticise abusive male celebrities. it's all they've ever known, that the oppressive dynamic between men and women is romantic and sexual, and they emulate it.
i just kinda feel bad for her and all of them.
@@shadycatz85 as much as i agree with nearly everything you said right here, i would like to say that writing about fucked up fan fiction relationships isn't always an indicator of thinking these dynamics are valid - i know plenty of writers and readers that acknowledge the fact that certain relationships are absolutely abusive and toxic and simply want to explore that and/or engage in escapism by reading or writing these stories. i think it's more that these pairings are dangerous when they're ROMANTICIZED (which CoHo very much does, none of her novels except IEWU acknowledge the MC's toxicity).
@Taydra Cole-Williamson it's one thing that she wrote something like this but it's a whole another big problem that books like that are being published, reviewed and accepted by a set of people who have an outside perspective and could maybe suggest therapy but instead they're deciding to make money off of normalizing problematic behavior.
Coho also defends her own son from SA allegations, perhaps that's why she's so soft when writing abusers
Ooo that’s some red flag shit right there. Women who enable abusive men, especially after being victims themselves, feels like such a betrayal
Y I K E S
Thank you, No one mentions this when talking about her. Like why are people still defending this author. The writing isn't that good and she is a trash person irl. Smh I'm still so upset she got her fans to harass Caleb Joseph who was 16 at the time
@@amandalogan89it's her son. u have no idea what the allegations or situation is but you're here making arbitrary surface level judgements of real ppl because they write crappy books.
@@o-wolf if my son abused someone i would take him of this world and carry the weight of that crime. Sexual abuse is something i can't forgive. As a parent you protect your kids yes but not when they do such things, i am against laying a finger to a child but here were i draw the line. Him being your son means you should hold him accountable not excuse him
coho's mother: i went through abuse at the hands of my partner, and i'm leaving him so my daughter won't have to go through the same thing
coho: okay anyway i'm gonna make a whole career of writing romance books with abusive men in them
What baffles me about Colleen Hoover and this book in particular is how open she’s been about her parents’ abusive relationship inspiring the story, and yet she handled it THIS POORLY
I'm old enough to openly wonder if she's not using the old tactic of making up a life story to make the material seem more interesting and beyond question. Old Hollywood used to do this (occasionally current stars' kids will try this too by acting like they aren't connected to A-listers and claiming to be regular people working their way up since that sort of story sells better, but the internet helps us see if someone is lying), some older writers it turns out never existed despite having supposed life stories, etc. If Colleen claims it was based on real life, suddenly no one feels comfortable questioning anything, yet she romanticizes what real life experience should have taught her is bad. No one should be excusing her, especially since, if she's telling the truth, then she should definitely know better.
to be honest, just because she has realized that her parent's relationship was toxic and abusive doesn't mean that she has fully realized the depth of that abuse or the warning signs. Even while saying "man, my parents' relationship was really fucked up" she may have still internalized a lot of toxic stuff from that relationship. Its why breaking cycles of abuse like that is so hard, because without extensive therapy and trauma counseling, it can be really hard to tell what a "normal" relationship is even supposed to be. You might _think_ that you've deconstructed all the shitty things you learned only to realize ten years down the line that there's still work to do. That something you thought was normal wasn't at all. Basically, dealing with abuse and childhood trauma isn't a binary of "you've resolved it" or "you're still in denial". It's a process, a long road with no end marked with marginal improvements and the occasional setback.
The trend of romanticizing abusive relationships in media really hasn't helped matters. It only serves to reinforce those unhealthy lessons some people have learned and make it harder for healthier examples of relationships to gather attention. However, writing such stories might be a method people use to help deconstruct their trauma, to reframe and examine it. To communicate with others the things they think and feel and to get a response. Its just a shame that some people are very impressionable, have little to no media literacy, and/or are also suffering that same abuse and view books like this as confirmation that, no, this is fine actually. Nothing really to be done about it other then to discuss the failings of books like this and champion healthier romance stories.
@@SilverDragonJay it was also a red flag to me that she said how great her relationship with her dad was after her mum left him. Like, it might well have been to an extent, but after witnessing something like that kids are gonna have some mixed feelings about it all, and saying something like that rings of unexamined feelings and memories. Why was she never scared or angry, particularly when he really had hurt her before? How could their relationship really be that happy and healthy if she DID feel scared and angry? Sounds very much like she's idealising a relationship she hasn't properly examined for fear of 'ruining' it, or being 'unfair' to her dad who apparently was so very perfect. You know, when not almost killing her mother.
It's one thing for her to have forgiven him and worked through her feelings and had tough conversations with him and found a healthy father daughter relationship, but that's not what's coming across with her work or that quote.
The implication of what she said is "once my mum wasn't around anymore, he didn't get angry like that", which, maybe that's true to what she witnessed of it all, but very much lines up with the "real passion is so all consuming it makes people act this way, and perfectly lovely men do messed up things because they just love their women so much" premise so many of these types of romance books are based around.
The more messy this story gets, the more I find myself looking for comfort in that apple pie wall paper situation in the background. 😂
Isn't it so weirdly soothing?!?
My sibling considers Colleen Hoover their nemesis and hates her work,so this should be fun
Sounds like your sibling and I would get along, as I also consider her my nemesis
@@erikdaniels0n Same. COHO is bottom of the barrel writing. Lily Bloom whose a florist. In the words of Meryl Streep in the Devil wears Prada "Groundbreaking"
@@stripedhoneybee1990 not even just Lily Bloom, Lily BLOSSOM Bloom the florist
YOur sibling and I share a nemesis, it seems.
Your sibling has their shit together and I hope they succeed in defeating Colleen Hoover
When Anna Todd is quoted at the back of a novel, you KNOW you're in for a ride... The marketing team is very aware of who their audience is. Too bad this story is not a YA anti-abusive relationship tell-tale. It could've been something if it hadn't been written by Colleen Hoover.
Dreamland by Sarah Dessen is a great YA anti abusive relationship tell-tale, imo.
Anna Todd and Colleen Hoover, killing the genre one book at a time.
After making her whole career on making abusive relationships romantic, it’s pretty strange she suddenly decided they’re bad in this book. I know it was somewhat based on her mother, but still. If it were like any other book she wrote, Ryle and Lily would have a happy ending
Because in this one the abuse is physical. If it weren't, it would have played out like her other books, no doubt about it
@@AkeyinsYeah I feel like even though there's generally more awareness these days for different types of abuse, there's still this scale of what people consider abusive and most people will recognise it if it's physical but anything else is seen as more "blurry". It's similar to how often sexual harassment and assault is downplayed or seen as less damaging because it's "not technically rape" and people start using the slippery slope argument if it gets called out ("well then what's stopping us from calling anything abuse/assault/harassment?"). It's worrying how late we're figuring so much of this out.
@@tinyblueunicorn7807 yeah, I definitely agree with you.
And since you mentioned SA, there's also a ton of other "blurry" ideas tied in too, like if it wasn't violent, if the victim didn't fight hard enough, if they were drunk, if they were dressed "slutty", if they were in a relationship with the perpetrator, etc etc, then it "isn't as serious" or just flat out "doesn't count". And as someone who has been the victim of multiple scenarios like those, that kind of view is super harmful because that's why victims don't come forward, because they don't realize that they weren't to blame.
I'm glad that people are talking about it more, but it's really disheartening that it took so long for this conversation to even start to begin with.
"So obviously she's pregnant" to "I wish this was alcohol" same
As someone who has been in an cycle of abuse, the way the abuse and the "excusing the abuse" is portrayed is insanely and sadly accurate. Yes, after really abusive times my ex would then love bomb me, be extra affectionate, tell me how beautiful I was, and I found peace within those moments that sometimes I WANTED him to make a mistake so that he would be kind to me rather than tear me down for everything else I did.
However? The "sexy" scenes are INCREDIBLY cringe. Idk if this is just how romance novels are written but NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. And if they do, you'd laugh, not find it sexy. I believe that's part of the problem with people being Team Ryle (or should I say, inexperienced teenagers and young adult woman being Team Ryle). It's a fantasy to their young minds that a man can "be so obsessed with them." If that ever happens in real life; run. That type of obsession (knocking on 28 doors?!?) is the first sign of controlling abuse, it is NOT cute.
I actually wrote on another comment that I can work with an unhealthy relationship that addresses the issue and has the characters work on that issue. CoHo books tend to glorify the relationship and not take proper steps at fixing the problem. If they were marketed as based on true events or deviated biographies then it could work to some extent as this happens in real life (I would still avoid the romanticizing it part but I could live with a 'this happens to people angle"), but in fiction you hope to end with some sort of realization of the problems and a move towards resolution. After all it's fiction, we want the happy ending because we can have it there. Her books have teenagers rooting for unhealthy abusive partners who are not working to get the help they need but placing the burden of help on their partners. There is no acknowledgment that it is unhealthy and that is scary. At least with most other unhealthy relationship books we know there are messed up.
Came here to say this. You worded it well. I don't read her books anymore but this book was really helpful to me with processing my own trauma. And bc of my own family's experiences with DV (my dad was physically and emotionally abusive to my mom but he never hit me, just emotional stuff more than anything else). So her authors note meant a lot to me too at the time
@@sleepysadpoet I'm glad you could relate! I also no longer read coho because it just feels like the same old "main character doesnt know shes sooooo beautiful uwu and dark mysterious mean boy is obsessed with her" but this book, at least, I could relate to.
@@illbeyoursupergirl yeah I'm not really a fan of most of her books but a couple of them meant a lot to me. She does have a pattern with characters tho
Amanda reading CoHo in this economy deserves a Purple Heart.
Is that a reference to that movie?
@@Saphia_ No, it’s the actual Purple Heart you get from the US Government.
@@PokhrajRoy. Ohh.. I didn't know that was a thing. She definitely deserves it.
I love the concept of Amanda, a Canadian, having suffered so badly that the US government just gives her a Purple Heart
blake and dakota can have their own little sorority of women who deserved better than the roles they've played 😅
Who knows, maybe the people working on the movie will handle the subject matter better than CoHo? 🤞
And Kristen Stewart
The walking on eggshells can be so nerve wrecking. It is true that some survivors will intentionally push their abuser to hit their limit so that the physical abuse can happen and they have the relief of knowing for the next week or two that he won’t get physical again. It’s tragic. I worked at a DV shelter and every story broke my heart.
I have to wonder if the people defending Ryle are in abusive relationships and don't realize it.
There is no defense for Ryle, but I liked him and it’s a mindf***. After reading this book I kept thinking “oh crap, I would be screwed if I met a man like this.” If this book is even a little accurate than I can totally see why so many women stay. 🤯 It’s so messed up.
Being told assholes like him are romantic sets people up to look for assholes like him. I grew up with shit like this being sold as romance, and so didn't know what a good relationship looked like. I thought I was lucky for my abuser since, even though he hurt me, it was like the shit I was told was romantic.
Let’s not even MENTION the second book, in which Lilly and Ryle have a daughter and Ryle gets mad at Lilly because she doesn’t feel comfortable with having her daughter sleep over his house until she’s older and is jealous that Lilly is getting closer to Atlas. And Lilly still keeps contact with this man 😬
And once again, Ryle didn't face the consequences of his actions. So what if he's a neurosurgeon, he's a piece of sht. It's like Law and Order: SVU but they didn't catch the abuser/r@pist.
She has to keep in contact with him… he’s the father of their kid and they have shared custody. She never talks to him in person or text unless it concerns their daughter, other from the parts when Ryle gets triggered about Atlas.
@@piperlee4213 she doesn’t have to be in contact with him if she didn’t want to. She could file for full custody and get a restraining order against him. Women have babies every day. They never see their fathers, especially their abusive I never see mine.
@@Outlawgurl24 the point is Lily cannot afford to fight him. She doesn’t have anything documented. It’s her word against his and he’s had no documented or reported history of DV, plus he’s an excellent surgeon who earns a great amount of money. He says in book 2 that he would hire the best lawyers against her.
@@piperlee4213 first of all, there’s always a way she could go to a battered women shelter somebody would help her. She had bruises on her body and had to have stitches that’s evidence. She may not be able to afford a lawyer, but as she explained her case of somebody, I’m sure somebody would work her case pro bono, especially since she has a child. Just because Ryle an excellent surgeon that doesn’t mean anything a judge could take one look into his eyes and tell that he abused her and that he’s lying.
You know, the fact that she left her abusive husband at the end is at least something. It's more than I've come to expect from these bully romance, stalker romance, etc., stories.
Sidenote, is the name Ryle a real thing? Like Kyle with an R?
Literally every name you could imagine is a thing in good old 'Murica
I feel like I've seen the name Ryle before but maybe I'm just deluded into thinking that after sitting through this whole video
I used to downplay the danger of books like this that romanticize abusive relationships. That was before I found myself in an abusive relationship that I struggled to leave, because he was still nice SOMETIMES, so the bad times were okay, and he definitely still loved me, etc etc. I fear for other girls who will fall into the same pitfalls because they start to think that this behavior is romantic.
I'm a librarian, and I remember reading the back of this book when I was going through a rom-com phase in 2020, and putting it back on the shelf because it seemed too serious, and I wanted light-hearted. And there it sat on the shelf for a few more years until all of a sudden there were 20 people constantly on the waiting list for it and people couldn't get enough of her books, and we didn't understand the recent surge. Booktok, of course, we should have guessed.
I just finished this last night and it was cool to hear someone with similar thoughts. I really wish Hoover would've done without the epilogue. We all knew Lilly would end up with Atlas again, but that's not what this book was about.
in the past year ive met several 16-18 year old girls who are OBSESSED with CoHo's work and i always sort of assumed it was just a lot of sappy romance but now im genuinely concerned for some of these girls
CoHo’s books are horrific tales of abuse that think they’re sappy love stories, and I really hate knowing that there’s young girls reading them and internalizing those ideas
I've heard from other comments on other platforms that CoHo doesn't include trigger warnings for her books because she feels it spoils them. 🙃 That's how I knew this book would be the first and last from her for me. As someone who had no idea what the book was really about and got clobbered with it, causing me to have nightmares that night and a week of triggered anxiety where I had to stop halfway and wait that long to continue, im one of those people that could have benefited from a little heads up. Forget her.
Me too sadly. I read it when it first came out in 2016 and I was literally 16 and had no ideas what it was about and so was very confused. And definitely had anxiety about it too
Not to be unsympathetic but books typically do not have trigger warnings in the first place. I don't think this is a particular, specific point to be mad over.
@@jen-jq8xg I mean, considering the subject matter of the book and the fact she ACTIVELY refused to on the basis of "spoiling the book", I think it's perfectly valid to be mad about that. You're right that most books don't have warnings, but that's changing in recent times.
@@joyc.e.7511 Yes, I see your point, but it's not required. It's nice to accommodate and I don't agree with certain topics going untagged, but I still don't see it as a specific point to target. I don't quite see it changing because warnings are still not quite required, as warnings in books have existed from some writers quite some time as well. You might feel like there's a lot more because on the internet and self-published authors starting online often put trigger warnings, but traditional books starting from paperback still don't usually have it. It's really an optional thing based on the author. Her intent is bad, but in the end, her actions still aren't something that isn't allowed and something that's been done for all this time from authors that can have the same reason.
@@jen-jq8xg You're right, it's just another point to bring up against her, especially because her books are blowing up because of the internet.
It literally blows my mind that booktok tried to market this book as ROMANCE!?!?! imagine my surprise when I read it for the first time.
I stayed with my abuser for 7 years . Broken bones, damaged muscles . And was cheated on . But he was always so good to me after he messed up. That I started to just be relieved after he would go too far because I knew I’d have the best few days of my life . Yes it’s awful and I’m ashamed I stayed but it’s been over a year and a half and i still struggle and will miss him. Then I get angry . It was when the abuse was around our daughter that’s what made it easier to leave
No, this book did actually made me cry because she was not only in love with Ryle but also was really close with his sister. It’s sad to think about people in those situations because of course you want to get out of an abusive relationship but it could also mean that you are losing the people that you love the most. Especially with her relating back to her mother and how she resented her mom for not leaving and then she is finding it just as hard to do so. This is the only colleen Hoover book I’ve ever read and it did it for a book research project on abuse for an English class. The book is disgustingly marketed as a romance though which like it really isn’t a romance at all. I also didn’t like how in order to help herself she needed another man to come to her rescue. I also wanted to die every time I heard “dear Ellen”. Bro also the audacity colleen had to name the main character lily blossom bloom is beyond me
when I was in my senior year of high school, half my English class answered that they’d read this book for summer reading 😭
I see a-lot of my 14&13 old students reading it in school 🥲
Oh my lord
It’s really concerning that this type of toxic relationships are so popular among teens.
Most of my cousin's class read it too but apparently they all hated it lol. Not a surprise considering her high school gives them 2 actually good books to read every month.
Aren't these books marketed towards adults? Why are their parents letting them read it?
I thought the abuse and how she justified and kept staying was very realistic, but what Hoover didn't portray was the majority of victims that stay in their relationships because they have no choice to leave. Abusers often isolate their victims income, contacts and sometimes physicality. Abusers abuse with purpose. The fact that she wrote Ryle as a "misunderstood black out" abuser only is a complete work of fiction. They always know what they're doing.
As someone who was in an abusive relationship similar to this, I can say it’s terrifying. I grew up in the middle of a DV situation with my parents, but it was my mother who was violent and abusive. I told myself I would never be like her, but as I grew up, I found myself gravitating towards abuse. I could not get out of my abusive relationship until I cheated on my (now ex) boyfriend. He wouldn’t let me out until I had “proof” that I didn’t love him anymore. But he SA’ed me several times to the point where I was also in and out of the hospital.
People who romanticize this stuff legit scare me. Now that I am older, I’m thankful I can advocate for victims of abuse. And in Amanda’s words, I am now the person who says 24:47
You never have to apologize for the puns.
Without puns, life would be a mistake.
It would seem that the people who want him to have a redemption arc don’t understand that Ryle has zero self awareness and or concept of personal responsibility.
Amanda the way you suffer for this community is admirable!! Here, take this Internet cookie for your troubles!!!
I haven’t read any of her books, but this video makes me even more concerned that my fifteen-year-old niece asked for and got this for her birthday and got the sequel for Christmas.
i live for amanda saying allysa with 2 Ls every single time she has to say her name 💀
I hate that when Amanda vaguely described books she has read I instantly knew which ones she meant
From someone who went through an abusive relationship, this was a tough read for me. Because so much of it really hit home. I both like and dislike the book. I don't think that Ryle deserves a redemption arc. I don't think he should have been allowed to have his daughter alone. I think the story could have held its own without her having the Atlas part at the end. I think a bigger focus should have been on her ending the cycle of the abusive relationship and creating a better world for her daughter. That also could have been done without her having a daughter, but I wasn't upset that a child happened. Over all, just can't believe that some people are Ryle stans. 😳
This was the book they made into a coloring book???? A COLORING BOOK????
Colleen Hoover and Francine Rivers are two authors I will never read a book of, regardless of how popular they are.. I just have serious questions about what those women see as romance.
The fact that Colleen Hoover doesn’t believe in trigger warnings and actively refuses to add them in her books is concerning to me…
Probably because those triggers are the "shock value" of her books. Almost all her books have these out-of-nowhere "twists" to convey that surprise element to make her books seem interesting :/
You deserve HAZARD PAY for this fucking book, God damn! Thank you for reading it so nobody else has to
WAIT WHAT. My cousin just named her baby Ryle. Is this where that name came from? THIS? Christ.
as a survivor of many things and an avid romance reader who has many "feminism leaving my body" discussion with my book besties ive always skirted around this book throughout coho's blow up on the internet due to my own experiences. maybe the algorithm wants me to take a leap who knows but i appreciate hearing Amanda's POV as a fresh reader + outside observations on publishing labels and marketing pitfalls
Same here. I've been avoiding this book for similar reasons and I don't think Id be willing to listen to anyone but Amanda explain it
amanda and readwithcindy are god's strongest soldiers, reading the books we don't want to 🙏🙏🙏🙏
CoHo is a major issue I feel like. She spreads such wrong ideas to those teenagers looking up to her. At least in this one, she does end up leaving the abusive man. In her other books like verity or ugly love it’s soo fucked up its unbelievable like to the point of murder and cheating with a married man and seeing yourself as an object obeying to men, she puts all those messed up concepts into romantic fast paced books that perceived these things as ok and hot.
The fact that these teenagers have these books as their favourites is really concerning.
And the fact that these teenagers are upset that coho didn't make lily end up with the abusive man in this one, it's pathetic how they idolize ryle
I can completely understand the frustration and disappointment that people have with the ending of this book where ryle seemingly doesn't have to suffer any consequences to his horrific actions other than losing lily as a wife, I felt the same when I finished it myself. Which is why I was glad for the sequel...While it is mostly just a way to satisfy Lily/Atlas fans (which I am) it also paints Ryle as much more of the villain that he is and also in my opinion shows the difficulty a mother trying to escape from an abusive relationship might have to go through with threats of custody battles, emotional abuse etc.
The sad thing is there are so many times that story or a similar one has played out in real life. No matter how many times you tell them to leave many don't and they make excuses for their abuser, then sometimes later on you hear they were killed. The moment you're hit it's time to get out no matter how many "I love you or sometimes I just get angry or I'm sorry you just make me so crazy" usually there's signs even before, tell your friends don't suffer in silence because of this misplaced sense of shame, don't listen to your parents if they tell u go back or your abuser parents if they tell you the same, run just run and tell your friends and family what happened
Based on what I’ve heard about CoHo’s other books, I am very worried that she’s going to try to redeem Ryle in the sequel
We don't kinkshame.
We do however, kink ask why.
This book is very obscure and not well known but if you ever run out of ideas and want an atrocious sapphic book that reads like a wattpad fanfic by a 12 year old, you should try reading princess of dorsa. It was so horrible I couldn’t get through it, but I’d love to hear how it ends from you 😭
I tried getting through this book twice and each time I haven't been able to even get to the introduction of the second love interest. As soon as I saw his name was Ryle and he was a doctor resident, I said "I swear to God, if he's a neurosurgeon I'm done." and then it happened 😑
I read 4 pages and immediately returned it to Target 😂 it was so bad.
But I will say I loved the train wreck that is Verity. It isnt GOOD but it’s wild😂
Amanda HAS to read Verity for a video. She just has to
@@erikdaniels0n I hope she does!
R.I.P to Amanda’s sanity. Gone, but not forgotten
Anna Todd being quoted as a reference we should trust and therefore buy the book LMAO enough said 🙃
i will never forgive tiktok for reviving coleen hoover’s career
I will always appreciate this book because it opened my eyes to such a difficult topic. I never understood how people could stay in a relationship with domestic abuse, I blamed the victim, and thanks to this book I got that abusers can be manipulative to the point of the victim believing it wouldn't happen again. Because abuse can have an initial disguise that victims believe is romantic.
yes I really liked how it pointed out how and why it's so difficult for people to leave
Honestly me too, it opened my eyes
"When you rather risk your life than just say hi"
*introvert noice*
The thing that really made me feel ick towards coho is this ..i haven't read it starts with us but I've heard in the book she leaves her daughter with ryle during his visit...HE LITERALLY THREW YOU DOWN THE STAIRS HOW CAN YOU LEAVE YOUR VULNERABLE YOUNG DAUGHTER WHO CANT EVEN SPEAK WITH THIS MAN? IF SHE IS ABUSED HOW THE HELL IS SHE EVEN SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU? HOW CAN YOU LEAVE A DEFENSELESS CHILD WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS NO EFFING CONTROL ON THEIR ANGER? HOW JUST HOW?
Comes off as a more intense 'After' and not surprised it's on teen romance shelves.
As someone who read this book in 2016 and loved it: I'm so sorry the comunity messed up this one. I loved it mostly because i did think it was just a romance book. I went into it hoping for a quick, easy read. And then it happens. I was just as shocked as lily and I thought about the same excuses and reasons not to leave. I went inside a victim's brain for once, and I never forgot it. Years later I still think about it. I hope people can see that.
Finally someone who shares my opinion! I genuinely feel like advertising It Ends With Us as a contemporary romance worked in its favour, the shock of the male lead being abusive is something that will always stick with me. This book helped me understand the mindset of victims of domestic violence as well, not a huge fan of Colleen Hoover's work but I'm glad I read this one
@@starchytuber561 that… should not be how this kind of book works. It’s cool that you were able to empathize with abuse victims but actual abuse victims need warnings for stuff like this
Me too! I think the reason it got popular now and wasn’t popular then is because of tiktokers who played up the romance and downplayed the abuse. There’s a reason it didn’t go viral back in 2016😢
I have only read Verity and couldn’t stomach trying any other Hoovers. It was like a toothless Rebecca. Your content slaps like always.
Is Verity any good? i've seen 0eople say that's her only okay-ish one
15:44 Atlas is just like me fr because after you described Ryle hurting Lily because of his wittle hand boo boo, my gut reaction was ✨stomp on his hand until he can never perform surgery again, girlie✨
So lily grew up in Maine, I'm from Maine. The age of consent is 16. So legally atlas was an adult and he waited to have sex with her when she was 16 because that's the age of consent. I picked up on that immediately
That segue to your ad should secure your sponsor for infinity.
Bless you thank you
I actually really loved this book, as it navigates through all of these really complex issues without justifying abuse, but still acknowledging why so many women stay in those relationships.
In a lot of situations, the victim is more likely to stand up to defend other people they love rather than stand up to defend themselves. Lily divorcing Ryle is her protecting her daughter from the trauma of past generations.
How a book is marketed makes all the difference in the world. This one was clearly meant as a healing process and a way to help those in similar situations.
I had a whole thing, but then CZcams ate my comment. but I agree with u 💯. I think a lot of booktok are unable (unwilling) to do deep reading. many seem stuck on the idea that Authors Are What They Write, or that what they write is what they like - y know what I mean. I just want them to read Thomas Harris and try to reconcile that way of thinking 👀😂 I had a chill life growing up. reading books like this was how I learned to spot red flags when I moved away from home for the first time going to college. to be brutally honest, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the whole mess w Spike saved my ass from narcisstic bad boys so many times 😂😂
"She's become the voice in my head" - the way you react is soo me! I hate that I like to watch you suffer but when you point out the insanity of a situation? I feel soo seen. 😌
Not fan of colleen’s books but if they are going to really start this movie franchise, it’ll be the only time I’ll be okay with them changing the original story for the attempt to make it bearable to watch and actually be enjoyable.
I started getting more than a few copies of this book donated to the thrift store I work at, and hadn't heard of it and got such mixed messages based on the cover. (Gotta judge them by their covers sometimes when you've got quotas!) The back talked about a love story, but the cover definitely has that "darker fictional story" vibe to it that's gotten so popular in the last few years. At least I know now not to put it in our romance section. *shudder*
Always a good day when Amanda uploads 🥰
I have seen people protect an actor from a bad role. People were worried about Charlie Hunnam being Christian Grey just after he was perfect prince Raleigh Beckett in Pacific Rim.
Jamie Dornan was great in other stuff, but he's forever typecast as Christian Grey. I hope he thinks torpedoing his career was worth it.
@@Author.Noelle.Alexandria he was WONDERFUL in Barb and Starr go to Vista Del Mar
....Amanda I think I figured out why the sister's name is spelled like that. She's Lilly's ally/"friend" until her brother SA's her and then uses it against Lily like a r*pe apologist
Another book i will never read. 😂 Thanks for taking one for us. The story sounds like, oh hey, woman...you need a guy to be happy! Doesn't matter he almost killed ya!
I am so impressed and happy for this stream's sponsorship. Just seems awesome to snag one that's so on-topic to the content!
A surgeon would NEVER forget an oven mitt. They are so protective of their hands and are very aware of potential dangers. My dad is an eye surgeon and he’s always been cautious. He won’t even do a hobby where there’s the slightest potential for a hand injury. I know that tiny little detail isn’t the point of this video or the book but it caught my attention. I can’t comprehend why anyone would root for this dude.
You never fail to make me laugh. Your sense of humor and style of delivery is pure genius.
i never read the book, but i know a lot that happens because of it's popularity. and i have to say, even some people that say they hate Ryle and understand that he's trash... those people say their hearts broke when he turned out abusive, that the book makes you love and then loose him..... but like.... from what I've seen, he's been a HUGE RED FLAG since day 1!!!! wtf!!!
I thought CoHo was Colleen Houck, the writer of the Tiger's Curse young adults series (one of my favs when I was young) and my world was completely crushed until I realized it was Colleen HOOVER.
I saw a comment that Somewhere that said they took a serious subject and made it into a Wattpad fanfiction. That sums up everything I feel about this book.
About the letters to Ellen, I saw people on twitter sharing that they write long dms to celebs. Particularly those weren't in English, but just imagine Harry styles got curious and pasted in to Google translate to read about some girl's high school drama.
OMG, I started crying real tears when you said the title was intended for her and her daughter.
Too bad she sends her daughter off with her abuser instead of fighting to stop it from happening.
Right?! I do totally agree with Amanda that it’s unhealthy, but as someone who also came from ab*se and didn’t know how to have healthy relationships 😔 I also get the book. Sometimes the journey towards healthiness is long and contains some mistakes along the way 😢
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. You were the one CZcamsr I watch that hadn't read any of these and I was pulling for you . . .
Amanda really does sacrifice for us. Bless you. 😔
I work in a library so I’m going to consider this video professional enrichment
Needing to listen to the audiobook and read the book at the same time in order to be able to focus is peak ADHD (I do this for my grad school papers sometimes lol)
I had no idea this was on your radar. I am sooo here for this video!
Thanks for reading and covering these kinds of books for your channel, Amanda.
You just cemented I well never read one of her books. I've been on the fence but they aren't my thing. I'll just come to you for reviews because they are the best.
I had one idea there were Ryle Stans.... that is so concerning! I was always team Atlas, even before the physical abuse started but there were serious red flags with Ryle from the beginning. I mainly enjoyed the book for the flashback through the journal entries. Ive only read three of Colleen's books, the request to this and Ugly Love, which wrecked me, but I also enjoyed more than the This Ends With Us series
I had never even heard of this book. I hope you continue this series. I'm intrigued. Both my parents escaped abusive marriages (for both them and their kids), so this will definitely be infuriating.
Really love the book content you've been doing recently!