Should You Get a Sleep Divorce? | Dr. Matthew Walker of "Why We Sleep" Fame | The Tim Ferriss Show
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- čas přidán 9. 02. 2023
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Resources from this episode: tim.blog/2023/02/08/dr-matthe...
Matthew Walker, PhD (@sleepdiplomat), is professor of neuroscience at the University of California Berkeley and founder and director of the school’s Center for Human Sleep Science. Dr. Walker is the author of the New York Times and international bestseller Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, which was recently listed by Bill Gates as one of his top five books of the year. His TED Talk, “Sleep is Your Superpower,” has garnered more than 17 million views.
He has received numerous funding awards from the National Science Foundation and the National Institutes of Health and is a Kavli Fellow of the National Academy of Sciences. In 2020, Dr. Walker was awarded the Carl Sagan Prize for Science Achievements. Dr. Walker’s research examines the impact of sleep on human health and disease. He has been featured on numerous television and radio outlets including 60 Minutes, Nat Geo TV, NOVA Science, NPR, and the BBC. Dr. Walker is also scientific advisor to Oura, a sleep-tracking ring.
Dr. Walker hosts the 5-star-rated podcast The Matt Walker Podcast, which is all about sleep, the brain, and the body.
And one last thing. UC Berkeley has given the rare approval for Matt’s newly opened Sleep Center at the University to be named by an individual donor, or a named company, in perpetuity. If you are interested, please reach out to Matt and note that this opportunity is in the 7-figure range.
Please enjoy!
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 900 million downloads and been selected for “Best of Apple Podcasts” three years running.
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Brought to you by Eight Sleep’s Pod Cover sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heating eightsleep.com/Tim, Magic Spoon delicious low-carb cereal magicspoon.com/tim, and LinkedIn Marketing Solutions marketing platform with 800M+ users linkedin.com/tfs
My soon-to-be ex-wife cited me sleeping in another room as one of her main complaints against me. She described it as “You abandoned our marriage bed.”
But I had simply gotten to the point that I NEEDED to start getting more sleep. And the only way I can sleep even semi-normally is in a bed by myself, and in a very dark and cool room. Much cooler than my wife can tolerate.
Now that I’m sleeping somewhat normally again, due to having my own bed and being able to keep my sleeping room at a chilly 61 degrees, I will NEVER give that up again. Sleep is just too important.
Any future woman in my life will have to be ok with that. And it would be just as much to her benefit as mine, since I’m a much better partner when reasonably well-rested. I don’t handle sleep deprivation well at all, and can therefore be a real drag to be around when sleep deprived, due to having no desire or energy to do much of anything.
Anyway…my wife had made me feel like some kind of freak for needing my own bed in my own CHILLY room. But this video really highlights the fact that I’m not alone in this regard, and that lots of couples are perfectly happy sleeping in separate rooms. And that sex and sleep are two different things, so sleeping in another room does NOT mean your sex life disappears.
The same happend in my first marriage. My husband resented and hated me for it, he was from a culture where it's
Actually a sin.
I had Lupus and was getting so sick from sleep Deprivation. We fought constantly over ac I was always hot, everything woke me up just him changing positions.
I needed to block light, use brown noise ect.
The next time I married
I chose someone who understood my health is priority or the marriage will end or I will .
Its sounds sad but my
Husband loves sleeping
With our pug who's a cuddle bug and he was used to that as a child.
Now he wouldn't say it but he would choose
The pug over me as far
As his own sleep experience goes.
If someone loves you they will not let you physically suffer for there own comfort or pleasure.
I hope you find a good compassionate wife.
Take care
I do this in my relationship and it’s great. Monday - Friday we sleep in seperate beds. Weekends we sleep together. Sleep and mood is so much better but we find people give us an equal 50/50 response when we talk about it. “That’s so weird, you don’t sound like a real couple” or “OMG I wish I had that!” We never really named it and I hate the name sleep divorce. Tim might have termed this correctly haha
Really bad idea to use divorce to describe something that improves
Marriages and healthier
Living.
I would love to post this on my FB and send to friends but not with this title.
None the less sleeping separately has greatly
Improved my health and marriage.
Cuddling can occur at any time during the night, not just before and after going to bed. 😒
That was a great interview! 👏🏽
Dr. Walker’s audio sounds as if reverberating from another realm 🧙♂️🧚♂️ a merry voice from the void beyond
This is so interesting 🤔
@@Chill_Mode_JD pretty sure he's gay
It is hard! My hubby is taking care of a family emergency and the lack of cuddling time / sex (both a hormone boost) is negatively effecting me. I can see why not being together during the actual sleep time could be beneficial.
True. My partner snores horribly, I am so happy we now sleep in seperate rooms.
I'm 33 and I've slept separately and had my own room from multiple partners. Some people have insomnia. But yeah most my partners have been upset by it 😒
My ex girlfriend hated that I slept in another room. It's not easy living with chronic insomnia.
Do bunk beds count? I’m totally down for bunk beds….. js
Thanks for this!! Good sleep = Good sex. When I sleep better, I feel better, and hence, my libido is SO much better! Thankfully, my lover understands this too, so separate sleeping space is not a problem. 🔥❤️
There's nothing more important than sleep. I'd rather have a happy relationship than suffer because of caring about what people think.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and snoring like an ox. My poor hunny and I will probably have to separate for a short time. It's an odd coincidence that this is in my feed today!
Why not just call it sleeping separately instead of this clickbatey non-sense "sleep divorce"?
I agree I would have shared this video which is free promotion but not
With this title.
Everyone who doesn't watch it or finish the video will think I'm nuts and on the verge of divorce.
I've been sleeping separately for 7 years.
Best thing we did in the beginning off our marriage.
Why do people like you have such a one-dimensional view of titles such as this? It's absolutely clickbatey and it absolutely gets people to click on it. That's the point. If you want positive messages to spread to the widest audience then you make it provoking. If you want channels that spread interesting and useful information to be SUSTAINABLE in an environment like youtube then you make it interesting. That said, the title is so innocuous that i'm genuinely surprised anyone is complaining about it
Asked and answered 😂
So, what happens when one sleeps in another room and thus one is getting the benefits of proper sleep and the other doesn't. Wouldn't that also cause conflict?
How would the other not sleep well?
Man your podcast is doing poorly, but this is my chance to tell you how great your book is. The 4 hour week. Hasn't changed my life yet, but just the fraction of what I have red has indeed changed my mentality so thank you
Wait, you said that high estrogen correlates to vaginal lubricant 🌞🌚
OK, that’s good in one way but not so good in fat loss.
Edit: as I’m 36 this year and one of the negatives of menopause is vaginal dryness; if you don’t use it you lose it 🙈
I’m in the process of figuring out my hormone health 👀 preparation.
Change this title. Ridiculous use of term.
I have chronic insomnia because I'm more nocturnal and have to live the social set hours, and had a hysterectomy so hot flashes suck, fan by bed, husband has different hours for work. We've had separate rooms for several years. It's beautiful!! I never slept well with another in bed because of child traumas
Please stop saying sleep "divorce". It's only another sleep arrangement. People get over social norms and be you.
I mean marriage in general ist just a social norm. So maybe the term fits.
@@Rithmyno the term is stupid. Think about it. If you get a divorce from someone you separate from them. Thus what would a “sleep divorce” mean? You don’t sleep anymore - you separated from sleep. So no, it doesn’t make sense. It’s just a uselessly inflammatory phrase.
@@IAmTheRealBill It would mean that you seperate from your marriage partner while you sleep. it makes sense.
But hey i am all for finding new words. You can do that. When sharing it you can push your own new word upon it.
I like to spread out like a starfish when I'm in bed. Sorry, no room for two!
As long as it’s not a chocolate starfish right
Drinking game, every time he says sleep or divorce
Don't like this title :( I'm too light a sleeper to sleep next to my husband most nights and I feel so bad. I wouldn't choose the word divorce. Nice to hear from the comments that I'm not alone
I'd rather die a few years sooner than do this with respect.
Why
Maybe you haven't esperienced sleeping with someone like my husband, who is partially a sleepwalker and for example will punch me in the gut with all his force at 4 am if he is dreaming of fighting 🥲 and acting during his sleep or talking happens several times per week
You don't understand the value of quality sleep then
2023 and people still believe in marriage... 😂
Yes being married is awesome.
@@matt291 What the difference to a serious long term relationship?
@@Rithmy You are making a commitment to the church, state and society that you are now one. A bf/gf is a handshake arrangement that can be walked away from at any time.
@@matt291
A seriopus long term relationship is also a commitment for me. And i make this commitment only to the person i love.
I actually find it sad that you forget to include the person you love in that list of commitment. Idk about church or state. And i certainly don't need to commit to society for my love life. Its a commitment towards my partner and my potential children. Nothing more, nothing less.
@@Rithmy It's in addition/different. Don't be ignorant and misinterpret what I said. It's not the same, if it was we wouldn't be having this conversation. When you have three or four children, a career, grandkids and wealth you might understand. Sometimes love is not enough.