The Shocking Florida Machete Murder

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  • čas přidán 25. 04. 2019
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    Watch the new and 7th season of BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime! • BuzzFeed Unsolved - Tr... Violence terrorizes a quiet Florida community.
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Komentáře • 11K

  • @BuzzFeedUnsolvedNetwork
    @BuzzFeedUnsolvedNetwork  Před 5 lety +8286

    Make sure to leave your questions for our Post Mortem episode down below!

    • @ilovebugs6994
      @ilovebugs6994 Před 5 lety +88

      What is your favorite cupcake

    • @sam-ws3dp
      @sam-ws3dp Před 5 lety +161

      which one of you is more likely to buy a machete-

    • @WillddKvic
      @WillddKvic Před 5 lety +52

      BuzzFeed Unsolved Network I love the show!! Question for post mortem- if you two were in the hot daga, what food would you be?? Love you guys!!

    • @puppylover-hp8yr
      @puppylover-hp8yr Před 5 lety +44

      What would your last meal be

    • @apoorvajoshi225
      @apoorvajoshi225 Před 5 lety +102

      #RoastMortem Why does Shane looks like one of the boring and nerdy Harvard students from Legally blonde 😂😂

  • @pyrenox
    @pyrenox Před 5 lety +13972

    "Clementine, the bluejay, was never seen again."
    *A gasp in the audience*

  • @megankron9294
    @megankron9294 Před 4 lety +17116

    lmaoo Francis straight up said " rip to Athalia, but im different.." then died THE SAME WAY

    • @JaviXT
      @JaviXT Před 4 lety +484

      "but im different" lmaoooo

    • @loveisanopendoor5745
      @loveisanopendoor5745 Před 4 lety +576

      i bet francis said 👁👄👁 when she saw a man with a machete walking towards her

    • @mromatic17
      @mromatic17 Před 4 lety +201

      lol that’s why pride is one of the 7 deadly sins

    • @sabinfigaro7334
      @sabinfigaro7334 Před 4 lety +102

      How do you not get seen chopping people, let alone walking with a machete. I got stopped for walking with an axe.. at night...but it's not a suburb it's just the one road...in a rural community in Alaska...when no one is around.. Soo imagine being in a neighborhood wearing a white shirt.. after butchering someone...no one saw? No maids? BS.

    • @amp4105
      @amp4105 Před 4 lety +15

      @@loveisanopendoor5745 how do you say a facial expression

  • @madshadow8586
    @madshadow8586 Před 3 lety +5912

    Old crimes really be like "It happened in the mayors' office and the only person around was the mayor, but he wouldn't have done it so it's unsolvable."

  • @peps1943
    @peps1943 Před 3 lety +2655

    "I CANT THINK WITH ALL THIS EVIDENCE DISTRACTING ME!! Get it out of here!" -Florida cops

  • @icantthinkofaname1483
    @icantthinkofaname1483 Před 5 lety +5255

    "Clementine, the blue jay, was never seen again."
    That's a little sus. I'm gonna say the bird did it

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 Před 5 lety +33

      Birds are evil

    • @adambump5297
      @adambump5297 Před 5 lety +52

      Yes a little tiny Blue Jay lifting a nearly three pound metal object it makes too much sense.

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 Před 5 lety +27

      Witchcraft?

    • @darthfred45
      @darthfred45 Před 5 lety +93

      Clementine put down the machete

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 Před 5 lety +26

      Yea! Birds These Days, Amirite?

  • @Lucy-er3se
    @Lucy-er3se Před 5 lety +5474

    Frances: Im gonna prove that this place is safe by walking alone in the dark !
    murderer : am I a joke to you ?

    • @razkable
      @razkable Před 5 lety +11

      i mean it was 9 months later so...

    • @babyvia6712
      @babyvia6712 Před 5 lety +38

      Dude if that’s ur pfp u are fine as hell

    • @Lucy-er3se
      @Lucy-er3se Před 5 lety +20

      @@babyvia6712 aww that's sweet thanks

    • @Emma-up9zr
      @Emma-up9zr Před 5 lety +13

      Olivia Eyes
      What a mood

    • @HezeJunior
      @HezeJunior Před 5 lety +2

      LMFAO 😭💀

  • @AzaStark
    @AzaStark Před 3 lety +3337

    Shane: * talks about the time he walked into a church and got a nosebleed innocently *
    Ryan (internally): *_WHeRE's mY HoLY waTER?!?_*

    • @lelouchvibritannia4028
      @lelouchvibritannia4028 Před 3 lety +163

      Exactly what I'm thinking. Shane is a demon. He bled due to being around holy artifacts and prayers.

    • @johnrubin3907
      @johnrubin3907 Před 3 lety +108

      Even tho he has disrespected so many haunted things, and nothing happened to him. I am starting to think Shane is a demon

    • @spork9207
      @spork9207 Před 3 lety +76

      Shane * walks into church. God * give the demon a nose bleed

    • @ollies08
      @ollies08 Před 3 lety +56

      More evidence that shane is a demon

    • @AsianSpeciminYT
      @AsianSpeciminYT Před 2 lety +4

      i agree with your pfp picture 🤝

  • @Olives23485
    @Olives23485 Před 3 lety +8024

    I love how the murder happend on the porch in broad daylight yet the case still remains unsolved

    • @winecrimesfoodandtime7119
      @winecrimesfoodandtime7119 Před 3 lety +63

      Exactly?

    • @jordankane554
      @jordankane554 Před 3 lety +456

      As a born and raised Floridian, I can say, that seems perfectly logical

    • @johnlouis1416
      @johnlouis1416 Před 3 lety +227

      You love how there was a Legitimate Witneas and he said "he seems to be going to the neighbors house... oh well ill just make sure *I don't confirm* he walked into that home"
      *goes to Wrestle a Gator as a work out and eats a Raw Burmese Python as a post workout meal*

    • @jamesswindley9599
      @jamesswindley9599 Před 3 lety +35

      Florida 😂 I don’t get why Florida is a joke in America 😂

    • @thebatmanwholaughs7877
      @thebatmanwholaughs7877 Před 2 lety +51

      Well it is Florida

  • @minaswife8027
    @minaswife8027 Před 5 lety +5564

    Florida: Hose it off
    Iceland: Solitary confinement
    The watcher: Hailed

  • @lillyalexa6560
    @lillyalexa6560 Před 5 lety +3774

    „I don‘t have any clothes covered in blood“
    Laughs in female

    • @awal4896
      @awal4896 Před 4 lety +100

      I laughed way harder than I should have at this!!

    • @lindanicolausson6148
      @lindanicolausson6148 Před 4 lety +4

      @@awal4896 I dont get it? Explain plz?

    • @awal4896
      @awal4896 Před 4 lety +100

      Linda Nicolausson because of period blood

    • @dancinggouine9909
      @dancinggouine9909 Před 4 lety +145

      right? i have so many blood stained clothes, my wardrobe definitely looks like I kill people.
      Like I kill people wearing only underwear, but still.

    • @thegrayyernaut
      @thegrayyernaut Před 4 lety +153

      @@dancinggouine9909 "The Florida Panties Killer is Still At Large"

  • @mqzd24
    @mqzd24 Před 3 lety +6424

    francis would be that lady who absolutely refuses to wear a mask

  • @HunterNorth90
    @HunterNorth90 Před 3 lety +6363

    The thing with Shane's bird is the only time in the whole series I've seen Shane getting riled up by Ryan and not the other way around. Shane doesn't joke around when it comes to his birds.

    • @frostythehoeman6969
      @frostythehoeman6969 Před 3 lety +40

      Bird people creep me out 😬

    • @DenitaArnold
      @DenitaArnold Před 3 lety +86

      Yes, but it was his pet. Ryan should have backed down. I can't watch this ep cuz this.

    • @Chi-pv7dk
      @Chi-pv7dk Před 3 lety +420

      @@DenitaArnold really bro it ain’t that deep he was fine afterwards

    • @multifandombish1855
      @multifandombish1855 Před 3 lety +56

      @@frostythehoeman6969 idk what's so creepy about Bird ppl?

    • @ryanrex5327
      @ryanrex5327 Před 3 lety +33

      @@DenitaArnold Snowflake

  • @lyb927
    @lyb927 Před 4 lety +5658

    “DETECTIVE! We found a pool of the killers blood in the hallway!”
    “Hmmm... gross! Mop it up!”

    • @alicelortie9684
      @alicelortie9684 Před 4 lety +122

      J Biggs JOHN MULANEY😍❤️

    • @LonelyMarshtomp
      @LonelyMarshtomp Před 3 lety +275

      Now... back to my hunch...

    • @avapauli2219
      @avapauli2219 Před 3 lety +143

      I know, we’ll draw chalk around the body... that way we’ll know where it was...

    • @TheFagerlund
      @TheFagerlund Před 3 lety +46

      *Ok lets wrap this up were done here bois another day of hard police work*

    • @NoorAlam-tj4mn
      @NoorAlam-tj4mn Před 3 lety +34

      @@TheFagerlund lez go get ourselves some well earned doughnuts, lads, we’ve done enough for today

  • @GippyHappy
    @GippyHappy Před 4 lety +12663

    "If I were Athalia I would simply not be murdered. Rip her but I'm different"
    -Frances, shortly before being murdered

    • @Yeeishaw
      @Yeeishaw Před 3 lety +484

      Frances really said breed: different 😈

    • @Nyrella
      @Nyrella Před 3 lety +71

      well not the same way tbh. no machete for francis.

    • @agentelvis81
      @agentelvis81 Před 3 lety +18

      Not the same way at all. Did you watch the video?

    • @bobina321
      @bobina321 Před 3 lety +11

      Woah cool, same exact comment as the top 2 above you

    • @piadylan1207
      @piadylan1207 Před 3 lety +10

      those comments are taking me out 💀💀

  • @notamberlee
    @notamberlee Před 3 lety +1023

    athalia: **gets murdered**
    francis: too bad but i’m built different

    • @jana5728
      @jana5728 Před 2 lety +22

      she's not like other girls

  • @CobraFeather
    @CobraFeather Před 3 lety +493

    with the clothes found you could find the shoe size, shirt size, a estimate of the wrist size, and experts could estimate how tall they were, if they were more chubby then a normal human, how big their arm was, and other things that could help a lot during a investigation

    • @lisad359
      @lisad359 Před 3 lety +77

      Notes taken, if doing a crime wear the wrong size lol

    • @tunners
      @tunners Před 2 lety +4

      the clothes would have probably shrunk in the water

    • @lolarose8973
      @lolarose8973 Před 2 lety +24

      @@tunners there would most likely still be some way to identify the size, they probably wouldn't shrink beyond recognition

  • @veryvanii
    @veryvanii Před 4 lety +5874

    shane: i got a nosebleed in a church once
    ryan: 👁👄👁

  • @aliababwa5153
    @aliababwa5153 Před 4 lety +7339

    Just taking my machete on a walk. Hey wait a minute..is that MY BIRD?!

  • @solflorspaceman
    @solflorspaceman Před 4 lety +363

    “SIR WE FOUND A POOL OF THE VICTIM’S BLOOD IN THE YARD”
    “HM GROSS! MOP IT UP. NOW BACK TO MY HUNCH”

    • @winsuma8253
      @winsuma8253 Před 3 lety +23

      I know! We'll draw chalk around the body. That way we'll know where it was.

    • @chrissparks7439
      @chrissparks7439 Před 3 lety +4

      @@winsuma8253 "Ew no, that's gross"

    • @professorbaxtercarelessdre1075
      @professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 Před 3 lety

      @@chrissparks7439 then that same cop probably proceeded to burp and fart constantly and just be generally gross

    • @natalierivera8421
      @natalierivera8421 Před 10 měsíci

      Wait what is this from? It sounds familiar but I can’t remember where I heard it 😩

    • @solflorspaceman
      @solflorspaceman Před 10 měsíci

      @@natalierivera8421 John Mulaney!

  • @alexjourney7705
    @alexjourney7705 Před 2 lety +127

    Ryan connecting the dots to Shane being a demon and Shane just keeps incriminating himself, not noticing how sus he sounds. Love it.

  • @ronnnaway
    @ronnnaway Před 4 lety +5292

    "Detective, we found a pool of the killer's blood in that hallway."
    "Hmmm, gross. Mop it up. Now, back to my hunch."

    • @uaintrecognizemehoe8128
      @uaintrecognizemehoe8128 Před 4 lety +34

      Lunch**

    • @boltzy_
      @boltzy_ Před 4 lety +10

      Stolen

    • @ronnnaway
      @ronnnaway Před 4 lety +6

      I didn't realize before posting this that someone else already did

    • @boltzy_
      @boltzy_ Před 4 lety +22

      @@ronnnaway yall just happen to have the same comment

    • @xXxGordO241xXx
      @xXxGordO241xXx Před 4 lety +4

      *STOLEN COMMENT!!!*
      original one has 3.8k plus likes somewhere around there

  • @guymanmanguy1601
    @guymanmanguy1601 Před 5 lety +3557

    Old lady: I walk outside in the dark every day! It's safe! You won't get killed!
    Machete killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole career

  • @DismemberedHat
    @DismemberedHat Před 2 lety +315

    The fact he was found to be innocent, not just "not guilty" is INCREDIBLY TELLING and tells me there's something missing here. To get a verdict of "innocent", it means you have to have evidence that you did not commit the murder. Period. Not just "there's not enough evidence that he did it" but actual evidence to prove that you did not commit this crime. Like if you had a completely rock solid alibi like you were in another country at the time of the murder. "Innocent" requires evidence that you didn't do it, not just a lack of evidence that you did

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru Před 2 lety +29

      I think Ryan just misspoke here. I don't think you can be found innocent in a US court, just not guilty. Or a mistrial. You can also have a guilty verdict thrown out.

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 Před rokem +9

      @@gaaraxnaru technically according to most justice systems you’re innocent until proven guilty, meaning anyone not found guilty is, in the law’s eyes, innocent

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru Před rokem +30

      @@emilybarclay8831 Technically, no. Most lawyers will tell you that there is a difference between being found "not guilty" and being "innocent". There's a reason why the term "innocent" isn't used in court sentebcing/verdicts. Outside of exonerations, I believe.

    • @Nonameforyoudangit
      @Nonameforyoudangit Před rokem +5

      @@gaaraxnaru Exactly - a good way to think about it is: innocent until found guilty or not guilty.

    • @gaaraxnaru
      @gaaraxnaru Před rokem +1

      @@Nonameforyoudangit Exactly.

  • @fourleafclover8519
    @fourleafclover8519 Před 3 lety +213

    * watches a show called unsolved *
    * gets mad when they don’t solve it *

  • @EllaIngram
    @EllaIngram Před 5 lety +1495

    Frances: yeahh this place is super safe and I’m gonna PROVE IT!
    Frances: *gets murdered*

  • @yeahokaysurethatsalright
    @yeahokaysurethatsalright Před 5 lety +4525

    Next episode: The Suspicious Death and Disappearance of Shane's Parrot

    • @cassiess
      @cassiess Před 5 lety +16

      Brock Obama YES

    • @Boy-fv6rm
      @Boy-fv6rm Před 5 lety +9

      I had the same idea

    • @drmantistobboggangonzodr3961
      @drmantistobboggangonzodr3961 Před 5 lety +23

      For huge unsolved fans, a bit of trivia.... what was Shane’s parrots name???
      I have no idea. And no prizes, sorry! 😐 Deborah WINGer? Precious McFeathers? #postmortem Shane what was your parrots name? Was it Wheezy?

    • @kenna163
      @kenna163 Před 5 lety +14

      @@drmantistobboggangonzodr3961 It was Paco.

  • @minutedetails7696
    @minutedetails7696 Před 3 lety +177

    When Shane told Ryan about his nosebleed story, Ryan in his head be like “that’s a demon there”

  • @LoganWH8
    @LoganWH8 Před 3 lety +157

    Defense attorney: “Isn’t it a fact that you were looking for a spot where nobody could see you put that stuff in the swamp?”
    Dewey Lee: No. No it isn’t. What kind of question is that?

  • @micaelalerouxburch6947
    @micaelalerouxburch6947 Před 5 lety +740

    "Florida man kills pet bird, then decapitates the owner for good measure" #postmortem #foodforthought

  • @dee3412
    @dee3412 Před 4 lety +3649

    Old lady: this is the safest place ... I walk in the dark all the time
    Killer: hold my machete

    • @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967
      @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 Před 4 lety +22

      Killer: With your stomach. H e r e y o u g o ! Okay now hold this fire.

    • @Annie-hb8ob
      @Annie-hb8ob Před 4 lety +17

      or more like "give me my machete" haha

    • @janiemtz
      @janiemtz Před 4 lety +27

      Killer: Hold my machete, no wait, give it back I need that

    • @mustafamunir9801
      @mustafamunir9801 Před 4 lety +5

      ME: HOLD MY MACHETE how is he gonna kill them
      My friend: with his fist duh

    • @majcry4188
      @majcry4188 Před 4 lety +6

      Killer: Actually no I need it for something.

  • @lemonarsenic6063
    @lemonarsenic6063 Před 2 lety +139

    "Only if I have some facts behind them,"
    Ryan, didn't you introduce the idea of alien abduction in the Gloria Ramirez case?

  • @gemlee5007
    @gemlee5007 Před 3 lety +78

    I like how Shane's nose bled when he crossed the church's threshold, it just confirms that he's the final boss and the reason why ghosts won't appear with the both of them in the same room

  • @rachelanne7945
    @rachelanne7945 Před 5 lety +2619

    Ryan: I don’t jump to theories
    Also Ryan: Idk it was probably aliens

    • @prathamesh245
      @prathamesh245 Před 5 lety +6

      Guys please make a video on princess diana.

    • @nikkovalidor4890
      @nikkovalidor4890 Před 5 lety +7

      ryan also mocked the big about them using hypnosis when in any other case hed geniunely take it

    • @ahmedrizwan7235
      @ahmedrizwan7235 Před 2 lety

      The Gloria Ramirez case theories in the end was exactly this 😂

  • @Lollemaster
    @Lollemaster Před 5 lety +1651

    *Innocent woman gets butchered*
    - Oh no
    *Clementine flies away*
    - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @biblicallyaccuratesandwich
    @biblicallyaccuratesandwich Před 3 lety +232

    Shane is 100% a demon, nosebleed in church? No way he’s not.

  • @bryant7542
    @bryant7542 Před 3 lety +76

    Trail of blood leading to his house, hates the neighbor, his shirt and watch are found with the murder weapon.
    Witness: "Mr. Standford's beating ___"
    What more do you need? I guess nobody did it huh. Amazing.

  • @motherlizzy4740
    @motherlizzy4740 Před 5 lety +3643

    "DETECTIVE! We found the killers blood in that hall!"
    "Hmmm, gross! Mop it up! Back to my hunch!"

    • @blakeblack5647
      @blakeblack5647 Před 5 lety +56

      Yeeeeesss I thought about the same thing 😂

    • @laysagna4909
      @laysagna4909 Před 5 lety +46

      Should I be upset or happy with myself for knowing where this is from?

    • @elizabethdesruisseau7826
      @elizabethdesruisseau7826 Před 4 lety +29

      Laysagna definitely happy 😂

    • @lulava9613
      @lulava9613 Před 4 lety +14

      I had the same exact thought through this whole episode

    • @samk5760
      @samk5760 Před 4 lety +1

      YES

  • @briannahenderson2421
    @briannahenderson2421 Před 5 lety +2344

    Lol the hose the blood away thing reminds me of that John Mulaney joke
    _"we found a pool of the killer's blood in the hallway"_
    _"hmm gross, mop it up"_

    • @leslielemerond5766
      @leslielemerond5766 Před 5 lety +114

      Now, back to my hunch!

    • @arigat-o9670
      @arigat-o9670 Před 5 lety +53

      It’s like the criminals dressed up to rob the bank.

    • @hexcetera
      @hexcetera Před 5 lety +32

      @@arigat-o9670 its like they were going to church in atlanta

    • @camrynpetti9128
      @camrynpetti9128 Před 5 lety +30

      Maryjane D. It’s like they made a day of it!

    • @citrusghost4536
      @citrusghost4536 Před 5 lety +46

      we'll draw chalk around where the body is, so we'll know where it was

  • @WeGoblinFolk
    @WeGoblinFolk Před 3 lety +77

    A "sharp-tongued, aggressive woman" whose name means "wholesome or healing." I'm not going to say her parents jinxed her, but her parents totally jinxed her.

  • @koetheh0363
    @koetheh0363 Před 3 lety +39

    Frances be like: "Athalia died? Oh, RIP! Anyways, it's literally so safe here.."
    *ends up getting murdered the same way*

  • @natelwood7606
    @natelwood7606 Před 5 lety +1905

    hosing down the blood reminds me of a john mulaney bit about crime in the 1930s:
    “detective, we found a pool of the killer’s blood”
    “hmm... gross. mop it up! now back to my hunch”

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 Před 5 lety +11

      nathalie elwood random, but you are so pretty 🙃

    • @snowybookwyrm
      @snowybookwyrm Před 5 lety +10

      bro i had the same thought

    • @lilyl.6715
      @lilyl.6715 Před 5 lety +7

      I thought the same thing I just couldn’t remember it was from a mulaney sketch

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 Před 5 lety +16

      Yes because a girl gives another girl a compliment ?? Really

    • @sadiejones7763
      @sadiejones7763 Před 5 lety +2

      Yes how being goofy? And wait what? I didn’t like it lol

  • @misterkingdom3571
    @misterkingdom3571 Před 5 lety +2282

    "Hey that's my parrot. I think your head doesn't look good on your shoulders anymore."

  • @anikalra1427
    @anikalra1427 Před 3 lety +114

    Francis: I'm simply built different
    Killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole life

  • @contentcop
    @contentcop Před 3 lety +80

    "On our ongoing investigation into why Florida is the way it is" actually made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath 🤣🤣

  • @checkman
    @checkman Před 4 lety +5742

    It's always someone innocently walking their dog, hiking, or jogging who find bodies.

    • @briannadenton3879
      @briannadenton3879 Před 4 lety +472

      crystalheckman this is why I don’t do any of the above

    • @choochoopicklepie
      @choochoopicklepie Před 4 lety +354

      crystalheckman this is why I don’t leave the house

    • @chandlerwaddell8364
      @chandlerwaddell8364 Před 4 lety +110

      Don't excercise a surefire way to hit the suspect list

    • @oliver4730
      @oliver4730 Před 4 lety +194

      @@choochoopicklepie No one's leaving their house now, rn would be the perfect to dump a body if you thing about it

    • @TheIdiotChihuahua
      @TheIdiotChihuahua Před 4 lety +138

      Natalie Johnson don’t give people ideas

  • @chelseav418
    @chelseav418 Před 4 lety +13744

    francis really pulled an "im not like other girls" and then got murdered the same way as athalia I CANT

    • @LemonSte
      @LemonSte Před 4 lety +144

      Well not the exact same lol, Frances got bludgeoned

    • @braceface1514
      @braceface1514 Před 4 lety +93

      i howled do you hear me😭

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal Před 3 lety +21

      You can’t what?

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal Před 3 lety +18

      Lucas why can’t u breathe I mean like what u said wasn’t funny

    • @Iarenormal
      @Iarenormal Před 3 lety +11

      Daniel Godoy ok

  • @Emmad172
    @Emmad172 Před 3 lety +31

    “A pool of blood?? Gross! Mop it up.” Big John Mulaney vibes

  • @cantstoptheflow
    @cantstoptheflow Před rokem +27

    I would like to also comment that no one in town like Mrs. Athalia. She was described as a mean and spiteful older lady who would do all kinds of things to people to get her way. That’s why no one really cared about justice or her actual murder. Hope this lead to some insight!!!

  • @squigglykinkle805
    @squigglykinkle805 Před 4 lety +5340

    When I lived in Florida someone tried to break into my landlady’s apartment, so she chased him down the street with a machete

  • @shadi2055
    @shadi2055 Před 5 lety +1798

    ryan heard all the complaints about his messy hair and decided to go full cockatoo... really paying his respects to shane's bird i guess #roastmortem

  • @kokidos5700
    @kokidos5700 Před 3 lety +78

    Francis:im not like other Girls
    Killer:LMAO no❤️

    • @heatherperleberg7816
      @heatherperleberg7816 Před 2 lety +1

      Oh god the killer's a 14 year old white girl! It's worse than we ever thought possible!

  • @renip8605
    @renip8605 Před 3 lety +28

    They absolutely caught me with the husband theory. I thought "Wow, really convenient that this guy happens to have a machete in his car"... And then everyone has one. Welcome to Florida! 😅

  • @teogrunhut8764
    @teogrunhut8764 Před 5 lety +4512

    _Walking your bird in Florida is so unusual_
    *continues to walk down the street with an aligator*

    • @fishsauce617
      @fishsauce617 Před 5 lety +58

      *_Florida Man_*

    • @noellefritz5678
      @noellefritz5678 Před 5 lety +21

      1000 subscribers without a single video challenge somebody walked a rattle snake in my town once. On a leash. I live in Iowa, it not supposed to be a crazy state but

    • @teogrunhut8764
      @teogrunhut8764 Před 5 lety +4

      @@noellefritz5678 🤣🤣🤣🤔🤔

    • @mrprimor227
      @mrprimor227 Před 5 lety +8

      @@noellefritz5678 try walking 2 horny alligators then you'll understand what crazy is.

    • @iitzdev7481
      @iitzdev7481 Před 5 lety +9

      No no I’ve seen a guy walking a duck🤦‍♂️

  • @AlashiaTuol
    @AlashiaTuol Před 4 lety +4280

    I love how Ryan looks at the camera when Shane talks about his bloody nose and knows
    *_knows_*
    EXACTLY what the audience will think about that XD

    • @yazz5747
      @yazz5747 Před 4 lety +78

      @T.R *laughs in conspiracy*

    • @CottonCandySharks
      @CottonCandySharks Před 4 lety +125

      @T.R That Shane is a demon! Trying desperately to get us to not believe in demons!

    • @peachbunni3
      @peachbunni3 Před 4 lety +44

      Cotton Candy Sharks XDDD YEP!! No wonder why demons and ghost never show up. Shane is too strong.

    • @CottonCandySharks
      @CottonCandySharks Před 4 lety +15

      @@peachbunni3 absolute best fan theory! XD

    • @justanormaldude3772
      @justanormaldude3772 Před 4 lety +10

      Cotton Candy Sharks foolish mortal, he is Satan of course! The devil himself!!

  • @toffeeofthesnails
    @toffeeofthesnails Před 27 dny +5

    4:26 to quote John Mulany
    "Officer, we found a big pool of the killer's blood at the scene of the crime!"
    "Gross, mop it up!"

  • @nothingbutfun5654
    @nothingbutfun5654 Před rokem +5

    My AirPods disconnected in the car at full volume and it said “Your going to kill me with a machete”

  • @lethalleithan8523
    @lethalleithan8523 Před 5 lety +1554

    Shane: “I got a nosebleed in church once”
    Ryan: “Next time on Buzzed Unsolved”

    • @tiffanycalhoun9993
      @tiffanycalhoun9993 Před 5 lety +8

      Lol I've gotten a nosebleed in church too. And i also started getting a fever too lmao

    • @ia490
      @ia490 Před 5 lety +17

      That's an episode for Unsolved Supernatural 😂

    • @lethalleithan8523
      @lethalleithan8523 Před 5 lety +2

      ai big fax lol

    • @gretablackwell495
      @gretablackwell495 Před 5 lety +29

      **demon Shane theorists screaming in the distance**

    • @itzame_ari
      @itzame_ari Před 5 lety +2

      Khadijah I had a friend that, 3 times, had to leave the church because he would get sick, throw up and pass out during mass.

  • @Catbaroncafe
    @Catbaroncafe Před 5 lety +15648

    It’s wild that most of these stories remaining unsolved are just a result of really shoddy police work.

    • @yourworstnightmare6003
      @yourworstnightmare6003 Před 5 lety +674

      Or conspiracies (eg. people or towns working to cover evidence up or frame others).

    • @TheresaGreenwald
      @TheresaGreenwald Před 5 lety +599

      This particular case seems intentionally shoddy.

    • @MagisterialVoyager
      @MagisterialVoyager Před 5 lety +99

      @@yourworstnightmare6003 LMAO I was about to say cover up and conspiracy but you beat me to it.

    • @rhian4876
      @rhian4876 Před 5 lety +82

      *_shoddy_*

    • @kumikamii
      @kumikamii Před 5 lety +22

      Janee Doe like the McElroy murder

  • @hf4189
    @hf4189 Před 3 lety +46

    The real question is....
    *What the f are people doing going around pouring sugar in their neighbor's Cadillac's gas tanks?*

  • @JonahMcD
    @JonahMcD Před 2 lety +53

    Ryan: Maybe rumors that AREN’T rumors, like you eating that bird!
    Shane: :|
    Ryan: :D

  • @ranchdip8779
    @ranchdip8779 Před 5 lety +1602

    the look ryan got on his face in the immediate instant after realizing shane got a nosebleed in church was "wait, demon?"

  • @CerealOverlord
    @CerealOverlord Před 3 lety +30

    9:32 Ryan, i think you meant Florida "flora". I highly doubt the residents of St. Augustine were fighting alligators with machetes'

    • @claytone.9706
      @claytone.9706 Před rokem +10

      Idk, this is Florida we're talking about...

  • @ksav4330
    @ksav4330 Před 3 lety +20

    "Somebody clean this crime scene up so I can start investigating this crime scene"- St Augustine police

  • @snorsaxattacks
    @snorsaxattacks Před 4 lety +8386

    Nosebleed starting immediately upon entering holy ground.
    Shane = Demon. Confirmed.

    • @zero_s
      @zero_s Před 4 lety +304

      At that moment he knew, Shane at 9 years old knew, he have demon blood in him

    • @awooga2846
      @awooga2846 Před 4 lety +336

      That’s why he denies the existence of demons and isn’t scared by ghosts because he knows he’s the true demon and trying to throw people off the scent

    • @craftylad2872
      @craftylad2872 Před 4 lety +31

      That happened to my sister

    • @taeaortkc9885
      @taeaortkc9885 Před 4 lety +65

      16:48 Ryan posits; Shane confirms.

    • @appleuwumer
      @appleuwumer Před 4 lety +59

      AS SOON AS I HEARD HIM SAY THAT I checked the comments LMAOOOOO I knew someone noticed it too😂

  • @harrysb3002
    @harrysb3002 Před 4 lety +4221

    can’t sell your house as a real estate agent?
    All Hail The Watcher

    • @clarissarojas7959
      @clarissarojas7959 Před 4 lety +272

      Your neighbor won’t let you have any of his limes?
      All hail The Watcher

    • @Voidway20
      @Voidway20 Před 3 lety +194

      Nose bleed when you enter a church?
      All hail The Watcher

    • @rylliewyllie
      @rylliewyllie Před 3 lety +172

      Get murdered with a machete?
      All Hail The Watcher

    • @hadiyapinky9091
      @hadiyapinky9091 Před 3 lety +147

      Your murder case is still unsolved?
      All hail the watcher

    • @riatortilla9906
      @riatortilla9906 Před 3 lety +91

      you have no clue why your even reading these replies where people are just repeating “all hail the watcher”?
      *all hail the watcher*

  • @danischmoyer6495
    @danischmoyer6495 Před 2 lety +9

    In a trial, you are not declared “innocent”. You are declared “not guilty”. It’s an important distinction.

  • @lupusetmatrem7078
    @lupusetmatrem7078 Před 3 lety +20

    The reason why Florida seems to be filled with crazy people is because of its open record policy. I don't remember what is actually called.
    Also, your state could be just as crazy.

    • @heidifredricks8641
      @heidifredricks8641 Před 3 lety

      Freedom of information, you're so right.

    • @zipties8442
      @zipties8442 Před 16 dny

      The sunshine law. All public records can be accessed easily if you ask the record office in the state of Florida.

  • @galadrielpokracki8153
    @galadrielpokracki8153 Před 5 lety +248

    Cops in Reykjavik: Put em in solitary confinement.
    Cops in Florida: HOSE DOWN THE EVIDENCE

  • @g0thb4b3
    @g0thb4b3 Před 5 lety +1224

    what this video should be about: -An actress being murdered in Florida-
    what it’s really about: *_Roasting Florida for being weird af_*

    • @thomastv8663
      @thomastv8663 Před 5 lety +5

      Mai Quartiaz bruh I’m from South Florida and there’s no swamp and barely any gators

    • @user-lf6dn2jp2y
      @user-lf6dn2jp2y Před 5 lety +6

      @@thomastv8663 r/NobodyAsked

    • @thomastv8663
      @thomastv8663 Před 5 lety +10

      N damn I’m just tryna defend my state 😢

    • @ricksanchez1149
      @ricksanchez1149 Před 5 lety

      @@thomastv8663 For what it's worth I think Florida is pretty dope. I love alligators, burmese pythons and meth. Jk, just the gators and pythons. Also, the weather is usually pretty sweet.

  • @matthewelvis5221
    @matthewelvis5221 Před 2 lety +14

    “I don’t think that’s enough of a push”
    People in line for the Popeyes chicken sandwich in 2019 stabbing eachother: am I a joke to you?

  • @sn0wbunny6
    @sn0wbunny6 Před 3 lety +13

    Shane: *talks openly about the time he walked into church and got a nosebleed*
    My brain: The mystery of whether Shane is a demon or not will remain, unsolved.

  • @andersont821
    @andersont821 Před 5 lety +334

    Florida: Hose it
    Iceland: solitary confinement
    Hotel: trivago

  • @rachelmurray3434
    @rachelmurray3434 Před 5 lety +773

    16:50 Shane, we've suspected you of being a demon for a long time but you really ought to stop outing yourself like that so plainly, it lacks tact and you're really just making yourself come across as quite the lower class hell spawn. #roastmortem

  • @idontevenknow628
    @idontevenknow628 Před 3 lety +39

    17:03 the exact moment Ryan realized that Shane just might be a demon

  • @kingexplosionmurderfuckoff9376

    Poor Clementine, I hope Clementine lived a full happy life.

  • @veronicalarr7681
    @veronicalarr7681 Před 4 lety +1739

    "Clementine, the Blue Jay, was never seen again." THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOISIE

  • @loganc.2824
    @loganc.2824 Před 5 lety +1022

    16:38
    Nosebleed in a church. Shane is actually a demon, confirmed.

    • @s0mb3rk1tt4g1rl
      @s0mb3rk1tt4g1rl Před 5 lety +50

      No wonder he's never scared of ghosts/demons, he is a demonic entity himself!

    • @catbat367
      @catbat367 Před 5 lety +33

      This will be a great clip for the demon Shane madej compilations

    • @Badchicken06
      @Badchicken06 Před 5 lety +1

      hahahaha

    • @IonIsFalling7217
      @IonIsFalling7217 Před 5 lety +1

      100%

    • @antbeejacka1480
      @antbeejacka1480 Před 5 lety +4

      That would be the worst place because they would probably chuck a bible at you

  • @RanDeligero
    @RanDeligero Před 3 lety +43

    I still think of what happened to Clementine. Poor bird.

  • @bekind3340
    @bekind3340 Před 2 lety +8

    I like the idea that in between takes, Ryan asked Shane about the parrot bit and if it was too far and Shane went “no no it was really great” but as soon as they started shooting again he regained that murderous look in his eyes

  • @annabellegrace206
    @annabellegrace206 Před 5 lety +1429

    today we found out that shane officially became a demon at age 9

    • @Luke_H.
      @Luke_H. Před 5 lety +7

      But demons can't sub 2 pewds

    • @t0k3an0s2
      @t0k3an0s2 Před 5 lety +6

      Luke jason hines who says they cant

    • @chaosbros7744
      @chaosbros7744 Před 5 lety +37

      so that's why Ryan carries a bottle of holy water with him all the time

    • @amora803
      @amora803 Před 5 lety +3

      crazy but the current likes on this comment is “999”

    • @emilyelizabethkey5287
      @emilyelizabethkey5287 Před 5 lety +1

      Lesli G if you flip it upside down it’s 666

  • @Kate-eo8vh
    @Kate-eo8vh Před 5 lety +1494

    it was clearly Clementine. she wanted to fly, not walk.

  • @rowanhoyt2509
    @rowanhoyt2509 Před 2 lety +5

    Ryan hearing the nosebleed story and slowly considering that internet theory that Shane's a demon 🤣

  • @chrisgraham2327
    @chrisgraham2327 Před 2 lety +8

    Disgruntled neighbours actually kill neighbours they've continually fought with quite often. Definitely not something that's unheard of

  • @kimberlyscott6622
    @kimberlyscott6622 Před 5 lety +356

    Cop: Detective! We found a pool of the victim’s blood on that side of the house!
    Detective: Hmm... Gross! Hose it off!

    • @roxasthegreek
      @roxasthegreek Před 5 lety +23

      Hmm... Now... Back to my hunch!
      Excellent reference.

    • @xxsummerew
      @xxsummerew Před 5 lety +4

      Lmao was looking for this comment.

    • @AnnoyingAsianWitch
      @AnnoyingAsianWitch Před 5 lety +27

      We’ll draw chalk around the body. That way, we’ll know where it was…

    • @the-holly-blue8411
      @the-holly-blue8411 Před 5 lety +1

      This is an excellent reference and an underrated comment 😂😂😂

    • @JamesJacksonFilmz
      @JamesJacksonFilmz Před 5 lety +1

      It is Florida

  • @jessiemay285
    @jessiemay285 Před 5 lety +4363

    #roastmortem killers should really consider not killing in February, Ryan is struggling

    • @jad_23
      @jad_23 Před 5 lety +19

      😂😂

    • @AKayfabe
      @AKayfabe Před 5 lety +97

      Right! Everyone who murders please do so in June. It’s easy to pronounce

    • @hwafans
      @hwafans Před 5 lety +82

      if this comment isn't a part of the roastmortem part of next weeks post mortem what's the point

    • @jad_23
      @jad_23 Před 5 lety +5

      @@hwafans ikr😂

    • @oneslikeme
      @oneslikeme Před 5 lety +22

      This is one of the best roasts I've seen.

  • @tillyandrew5367
    @tillyandrew5367 Před 4 lety +15

    The 1940s to 70s where rough, there were so many gruesome murders

  • @davidthesinger683
    @davidthesinger683 Před 4 lety +10

    Dude I freaking love Ryan's laugh. It's adorable!!

  • @bun872
    @bun872 Před 5 lety +2615

    so what i’ve learned from BFU is that everyone in florida has a machete and everyone in New Orleans has an axe

    • @taylorlandry4333
      @taylorlandry4333 Před 5 lety +34

      I'm from Louisiana, its more like everyone in New Orleans has a gun lol

    • @karinay6774
      @karinay6774 Před 5 lety +74

      As a Floridian i can confirm we all have machetes

    • @MedinafamilyVlogs
      @MedinafamilyVlogs Před 5 lety +9

      I disagree with this statement. I am from Florida and no one in my family nor my fiancé’s family owns a machete. Not sure about the New Orleans thing though.

    • @bananaboat5031
      @bananaboat5031 Před 5 lety +2

      @@taylorlandry4333 back then

    • @loretta5653
      @loretta5653 Před 5 lety +5

      I have an axe but no machete. I am from New Jersey.

  • @noahcolegio7124
    @noahcolegio7124 Před 5 lety +752

    Next season of buzzfeed unsolved supernatural "the Exorcism of Shane Madej"

    • @cindyh.6011
      @cindyh.6011 Před 5 lety +10

      And the Bizarre Possession of Ryan Bergara

    • @bucca2
      @bucca2 Před 5 lety +2

      Noah Colegio The gears were turning in Ryan’s head at that whole nosebleed in a church business, you could tell

  • @leahmoore6820
    @leahmoore6820 Před 3 lety +7

    “...into our continuing exploration into why Florida is the way that it is.” 😂😂

  • @danaok8048
    @danaok8048 Před 3 lety +7

    my girl francis really said: i’m different 😈🥶
    *gets killed while walking*
    francis: oh

  • @maevefitzgerald3084
    @maevefitzgerald3084 Před 5 lety +284

    Police officer: Hey, there's a pool of the killers blood out here.
    Detective: Hmm...gross! Clean that up.

  • @darrenabbott6264
    @darrenabbott6264 Před 4 lety +3598

    You're bird goes missing ?? ALL HAIL THE WATCHER

  • @luci.425
    @luci.425 Před 3 lety +5

    16:37 - shane getting a nosebleed in church really feeds into my theory that he's a highly respected demon that no ghosts dare to mess with

  • @jediping
    @jediping Před 2 lety +5

    If Stanford really were embezzling, that could have added more fuel to his rage fire. The husband is also iffy, but seems more likely to have been the neighbor.

  • @berniecleene2720
    @berniecleene2720 Před 4 lety +1999

    Why did the music make it looked like the bird was the main loss

  • @malixnant
    @malixnant Před 5 lety +495

    Before I even clicked the video, seeing the name Florida in the title and as a floridian myself, I sighed deeply and said to myself
    ”what is it this time”

  • @Lunch_Meat
    @Lunch_Meat Před 2 lety +8

    Ryan and Shane can never get their dreams of having haters. They are too lovable

  • @makennayork6047
    @makennayork6047 Před 3 lety +6

    Feels like two different murderers to me. A crime of passion, followed by a Copycat who hoped it would be looped into Athalias murder.