The Shocking Florida Machete Murder
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Watch the new and 7th season of BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime! • BuzzFeed Unsolved - Tr... Violence terrorizes a quiet Florida community.
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VIDEO
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EXTERNAL CREDITS
Make sure to leave your questions for our Post Mortem episode down below!
What is your favorite cupcake
which one of you is more likely to buy a machete-
BuzzFeed Unsolved Network I love the show!! Question for post mortem- if you two were in the hot daga, what food would you be?? Love you guys!!
What would your last meal be
#RoastMortem Why does Shane looks like one of the boring and nerdy Harvard students from Legally blonde 😂😂
"Clementine, the bluejay, was never seen again."
*A gasp in the audience*
Pluto *pretends to be shocked*
*surprised pikachu*
*Cues Dramatic Music*
The bird did it
It does look cute.
lmaoo Francis straight up said " rip to Athalia, but im different.." then died THE SAME WAY
"but im different" lmaoooo
i bet francis said 👁👄👁 when she saw a man with a machete walking towards her
lol that’s why pride is one of the 7 deadly sins
How do you not get seen chopping people, let alone walking with a machete. I got stopped for walking with an axe.. at night...but it's not a suburb it's just the one road...in a rural community in Alaska...when no one is around.. Soo imagine being in a neighborhood wearing a white shirt.. after butchering someone...no one saw? No maids? BS.
@@loveisanopendoor5745 how do you say a facial expression
Old crimes really be like "It happened in the mayors' office and the only person around was the mayor, but he wouldn't have done it so it's unsolvable."
Yep, bunch of dumbasses back then.
@@chrissparks7439 agreed
History is full of dumbasses
@@Kazoo_Itchy true lol
Trueeeeeeee
"I CANT THINK WITH ALL THIS EVIDENCE DISTRACTING ME!! Get it out of here!" -Florida cops
Exactly
only in Florida
"Now.... Back to my hunch!"
@@jellybeanboy look for clues, I tell ya, we’ll draw chalk around where the body is, that way we’ll know it was
"Clementine, the blue jay, was never seen again."
That's a little sus. I'm gonna say the bird did it
Birds are evil
Yes a little tiny Blue Jay lifting a nearly three pound metal object it makes too much sense.
Witchcraft?
Clementine put down the machete
Yea! Birds These Days, Amirite?
Frances: Im gonna prove that this place is safe by walking alone in the dark !
murderer : am I a joke to you ?
i mean it was 9 months later so...
Dude if that’s ur pfp u are fine as hell
@@babyvia6712 aww that's sweet thanks
Olivia Eyes
What a mood
LMFAO 😭💀
Shane: * talks about the time he walked into a church and got a nosebleed innocently *
Ryan (internally): *_WHeRE's mY HoLY waTER?!?_*
Exactly what I'm thinking. Shane is a demon. He bled due to being around holy artifacts and prayers.
Even tho he has disrespected so many haunted things, and nothing happened to him. I am starting to think Shane is a demon
Shane * walks into church. God * give the demon a nose bleed
More evidence that shane is a demon
i agree with your pfp picture 🤝
I love how the murder happend on the porch in broad daylight yet the case still remains unsolved
Exactly?
As a born and raised Floridian, I can say, that seems perfectly logical
You love how there was a Legitimate Witneas and he said "he seems to be going to the neighbors house... oh well ill just make sure *I don't confirm* he walked into that home"
*goes to Wrestle a Gator as a work out and eats a Raw Burmese Python as a post workout meal*
Florida 😂 I don’t get why Florida is a joke in America 😂
Well it is Florida
Florida: Hose it off
Iceland: Solitary confinement
The watcher: Hailed
ALL HAIL THE WATCHER
Hotel?: Trivago
Your username is perfection never change it
⚪⚫ALL HAIL THE WATCHER⚪⚫
Hotel: Trivago
„I don‘t have any clothes covered in blood“
Laughs in female
I laughed way harder than I should have at this!!
@@awal4896 I dont get it? Explain plz?
Linda Nicolausson because of period blood
right? i have so many blood stained clothes, my wardrobe definitely looks like I kill people.
Like I kill people wearing only underwear, but still.
@@dancinggouine9909 "The Florida Panties Killer is Still At Large"
francis would be that lady who absolutely refuses to wear a mask
Shes kinda like a Karen lol
Really, Athalia does as well!! Maybe the murderer had a type?
I can imagine that lol
OR MAN
A true Karen
The thing with Shane's bird is the only time in the whole series I've seen Shane getting riled up by Ryan and not the other way around. Shane doesn't joke around when it comes to his birds.
Bird people creep me out 😬
Yes, but it was his pet. Ryan should have backed down. I can't watch this ep cuz this.
@@DenitaArnold really bro it ain’t that deep he was fine afterwards
@@frostythehoeman6969 idk what's so creepy about Bird ppl?
@@DenitaArnold Snowflake
“DETECTIVE! We found a pool of the killers blood in the hallway!”
“Hmmm... gross! Mop it up!”
J Biggs JOHN MULANEY😍❤️
Now... back to my hunch...
I know, we’ll draw chalk around the body... that way we’ll know where it was...
*Ok lets wrap this up were done here bois another day of hard police work*
@@TheFagerlund lez go get ourselves some well earned doughnuts, lads, we’ve done enough for today
"If I were Athalia I would simply not be murdered. Rip her but I'm different"
-Frances, shortly before being murdered
Frances really said breed: different 😈
well not the same way tbh. no machete for francis.
Not the same way at all. Did you watch the video?
Woah cool, same exact comment as the top 2 above you
those comments are taking me out 💀💀
athalia: **gets murdered**
francis: too bad but i’m built different
she's not like other girls
with the clothes found you could find the shoe size, shirt size, a estimate of the wrist size, and experts could estimate how tall they were, if they were more chubby then a normal human, how big their arm was, and other things that could help a lot during a investigation
Notes taken, if doing a crime wear the wrong size lol
the clothes would have probably shrunk in the water
@@tunners there would most likely still be some way to identify the size, they probably wouldn't shrink beyond recognition
shane: i got a nosebleed in a church once
ryan: 👁👄👁
theMVAMP *DEMON*
owo
lol 😂🤣
This could be about Shane Dawson and Ryan Adams and would make just as much sense.
Fandom: Coincidence? I think not!
Just taking my machete on a walk. Hey wait a minute..is that MY BIRD?!
Ali Ababwa I’m wheezing
🤣🤣🤣😂😂
For some reason I read this in Shane’s voice and it was amazing
Olster5913 Same lol
Hay Hay (wheeze)
“SIR WE FOUND A POOL OF THE VICTIM’S BLOOD IN THE YARD”
“HM GROSS! MOP IT UP. NOW BACK TO MY HUNCH”
I know! We'll draw chalk around the body. That way we'll know where it was.
@@winsuma8253 "Ew no, that's gross"
@@chrissparks7439 then that same cop probably proceeded to burp and fart constantly and just be generally gross
Wait what is this from? It sounds familiar but I can’t remember where I heard it 😩
@@natalierivera8421 John Mulaney!
Ryan connecting the dots to Shane being a demon and Shane just keeps incriminating himself, not noticing how sus he sounds. Love it.
"Detective, we found a pool of the killer's blood in that hallway."
"Hmmm, gross. Mop it up. Now, back to my hunch."
Lunch**
Stolen
I didn't realize before posting this that someone else already did
@@ronnnaway yall just happen to have the same comment
*STOLEN COMMENT!!!*
original one has 3.8k plus likes somewhere around there
Old lady: I walk outside in the dark every day! It's safe! You won't get killed!
Machete killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole career
GuyMan ManGuy *whole woman’s life
Her walking career?
GuyMan ManGuy wtf!!!! 😂🤣😂🤣💯
Over-simplified Electronics wrong
End her career.... In about 9 months after, maybe. Lol.
The fact he was found to be innocent, not just "not guilty" is INCREDIBLY TELLING and tells me there's something missing here. To get a verdict of "innocent", it means you have to have evidence that you did not commit the murder. Period. Not just "there's not enough evidence that he did it" but actual evidence to prove that you did not commit this crime. Like if you had a completely rock solid alibi like you were in another country at the time of the murder. "Innocent" requires evidence that you didn't do it, not just a lack of evidence that you did
I think Ryan just misspoke here. I don't think you can be found innocent in a US court, just not guilty. Or a mistrial. You can also have a guilty verdict thrown out.
@@gaaraxnaru technically according to most justice systems you’re innocent until proven guilty, meaning anyone not found guilty is, in the law’s eyes, innocent
@@emilybarclay8831 Technically, no. Most lawyers will tell you that there is a difference between being found "not guilty" and being "innocent". There's a reason why the term "innocent" isn't used in court sentebcing/verdicts. Outside of exonerations, I believe.
@@gaaraxnaru Exactly - a good way to think about it is: innocent until found guilty or not guilty.
@@Nonameforyoudangit Exactly.
* watches a show called unsolved *
* gets mad when they don’t solve it *
frrr 😭✋🏽
I like how, since the years have passed, some *did* get solved tho
Frances: yeahh this place is super safe and I’m gonna PROVE IT!
Frances: *gets murdered*
Noice👌
Whole community “slaps face in disappointment”
Lol
That's how Florida works.
Next episode: The Suspicious Death and Disappearance of Shane's Parrot
Brock Obama YES
I had the same idea
For huge unsolved fans, a bit of trivia.... what was Shane’s parrots name???
I have no idea. And no prizes, sorry! 😐 Deborah WINGer? Precious McFeathers? #postmortem Shane what was your parrots name? Was it Wheezy?
@@drmantistobboggangonzodr3961 It was Paco.
When Shane told Ryan about his nosebleed story, Ryan in his head be like “that’s a demon there”
he is indeed one 😩🖐
Defense attorney: “Isn’t it a fact that you were looking for a spot where nobody could see you put that stuff in the swamp?”
Dewey Lee: No. No it isn’t. What kind of question is that?
"Florida man kills pet bird, then decapitates the owner for good measure" #postmortem #foodforthought
Micaela Leroux Burch that’s probably it lol
Old lady: this is the safest place ... I walk in the dark all the time
Killer: hold my machete
Killer: With your stomach. H e r e y o u g o ! Okay now hold this fire.
or more like "give me my machete" haha
Killer: Hold my machete, no wait, give it back I need that
ME: HOLD MY MACHETE how is he gonna kill them
My friend: with his fist duh
Killer: Actually no I need it for something.
"Only if I have some facts behind them,"
Ryan, didn't you introduce the idea of alien abduction in the Gloria Ramirez case?
I like how Shane's nose bled when he crossed the church's threshold, it just confirms that he's the final boss and the reason why ghosts won't appear with the both of them in the same room
Ryan: I don’t jump to theories
Also Ryan: Idk it was probably aliens
Guys please make a video on princess diana.
ryan also mocked the big about them using hypnosis when in any other case hed geniunely take it
The Gloria Ramirez case theories in the end was exactly this 😂
*Innocent woman gets butchered*
- Oh no
*Clementine flies away*
- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clementine was probably like ab god damn time someone did it
Right not clementine
Shane is 100% a demon, nosebleed in church? No way he’s not.
Trail of blood leading to his house, hates the neighbor, his shirt and watch are found with the murder weapon.
Witness: "Mr. Standford's beating ___"
What more do you need? I guess nobody did it huh. Amazing.
"DETECTIVE! We found the killers blood in that hall!"
"Hmmm, gross! Mop it up! Back to my hunch!"
Yeeeeesss I thought about the same thing 😂
Should I be upset or happy with myself for knowing where this is from?
Laysagna definitely happy 😂
I had the same exact thought through this whole episode
YES
Lol the hose the blood away thing reminds me of that John Mulaney joke
_"we found a pool of the killer's blood in the hallway"_
_"hmm gross, mop it up"_
Now, back to my hunch!
It’s like the criminals dressed up to rob the bank.
@@arigat-o9670 its like they were going to church in atlanta
Maryjane D. It’s like they made a day of it!
we'll draw chalk around where the body is, so we'll know where it was
A "sharp-tongued, aggressive woman" whose name means "wholesome or healing." I'm not going to say her parents jinxed her, but her parents totally jinxed her.
Frances be like: "Athalia died? Oh, RIP! Anyways, it's literally so safe here.."
*ends up getting murdered the same way*
hosing down the blood reminds me of a john mulaney bit about crime in the 1930s:
“detective, we found a pool of the killer’s blood”
“hmm... gross. mop it up! now back to my hunch”
nathalie elwood random, but you are so pretty 🙃
bro i had the same thought
I thought the same thing I just couldn’t remember it was from a mulaney sketch
Yes because a girl gives another girl a compliment ?? Really
Yes how being goofy? And wait what? I didn’t like it lol
"Hey that's my parrot. I think your head doesn't look good on your shoulders anymore."
I read this right as he said it lol😂
Francis: I'm simply built different
Killer: I'm about to end this woman's whole life
"On our ongoing investigation into why Florida is the way it is" actually made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath 🤣🤣
It's always someone innocently walking their dog, hiking, or jogging who find bodies.
crystalheckman this is why I don’t do any of the above
crystalheckman this is why I don’t leave the house
Don't excercise a surefire way to hit the suspect list
@@choochoopicklepie No one's leaving their house now, rn would be the perfect to dump a body if you thing about it
Natalie Johnson don’t give people ideas
francis really pulled an "im not like other girls" and then got murdered the same way as athalia I CANT
Well not the exact same lol, Frances got bludgeoned
i howled do you hear me😭
You can’t what?
Lucas why can’t u breathe I mean like what u said wasn’t funny
Daniel Godoy ok
“A pool of blood?? Gross! Mop it up.” Big John Mulaney vibes
I would like to also comment that no one in town like Mrs. Athalia. She was described as a mean and spiteful older lady who would do all kinds of things to people to get her way. That’s why no one really cared about justice or her actual murder. Hope this lead to some insight!!!
When I lived in Florida someone tried to break into my landlady’s apartment, so she chased him down the street with a machete
Squiggly Kinkle that’s....terrifying!😨
Wouldn’t wanna be that person
I still live in Florida. Lol
honestly, I want to reach that level of badass.
nora 노라 yess
ryan heard all the complaints about his messy hair and decided to go full cockatoo... really paying his respects to shane's bird i guess #roastmortem
If this doesn't get in, I'mma be disappointed
This better get in
Thais should get in
Imma throw a fit if this doesn't get in
Francis:im not like other Girls
Killer:LMAO no❤️
Oh god the killer's a 14 year old white girl! It's worse than we ever thought possible!
They absolutely caught me with the husband theory. I thought "Wow, really convenient that this guy happens to have a machete in his car"... And then everyone has one. Welcome to Florida! 😅
_Walking your bird in Florida is so unusual_
*continues to walk down the street with an aligator*
*_Florida Man_*
1000 subscribers without a single video challenge somebody walked a rattle snake in my town once. On a leash. I live in Iowa, it not supposed to be a crazy state but
@@noellefritz5678 🤣🤣🤣🤔🤔
@@noellefritz5678 try walking 2 horny alligators then you'll understand what crazy is.
No no I’ve seen a guy walking a duck🤦♂️
I love how Ryan looks at the camera when Shane talks about his bloody nose and knows
*_knows_*
EXACTLY what the audience will think about that XD
@T.R *laughs in conspiracy*
@T.R That Shane is a demon! Trying desperately to get us to not believe in demons!
Cotton Candy Sharks XDDD YEP!! No wonder why demons and ghost never show up. Shane is too strong.
@@peachbunni3 absolute best fan theory! XD
Cotton Candy Sharks foolish mortal, he is Satan of course! The devil himself!!
4:26 to quote John Mulany
"Officer, we found a big pool of the killer's blood at the scene of the crime!"
"Gross, mop it up!"
My AirPods disconnected in the car at full volume and it said “Your going to kill me with a machete”
Shane: “I got a nosebleed in church once”
Ryan: “Next time on Buzzed Unsolved”
Lol I've gotten a nosebleed in church too. And i also started getting a fever too lmao
That's an episode for Unsolved Supernatural 😂
ai big fax lol
**demon Shane theorists screaming in the distance**
Khadijah I had a friend that, 3 times, had to leave the church because he would get sick, throw up and pass out during mass.
It’s wild that most of these stories remaining unsolved are just a result of really shoddy police work.
Or conspiracies (eg. people or towns working to cover evidence up or frame others).
This particular case seems intentionally shoddy.
@@yourworstnightmare6003 LMAO I was about to say cover up and conspiracy but you beat me to it.
*_shoddy_*
Janee Doe like the McElroy murder
The real question is....
*What the f are people doing going around pouring sugar in their neighbor's Cadillac's gas tanks?*
Ryan: Maybe rumors that AREN’T rumors, like you eating that bird!
Shane: :|
Ryan: :D
the look ryan got on his face in the immediate instant after realizing shane got a nosebleed in church was "wait, demon?"
It went from 0-100 Unsolved Supernatural that quickly.
demön?? demön
Cool Moth Hey there demons it’s me ya boi.
his eyes lmao
ranch dip Call Sam and Dean
9:32 Ryan, i think you meant Florida "flora". I highly doubt the residents of St. Augustine were fighting alligators with machetes'
Idk, this is Florida we're talking about...
"Somebody clean this crime scene up so I can start investigating this crime scene"- St Augustine police
Nosebleed starting immediately upon entering holy ground.
Shane = Demon. Confirmed.
At that moment he knew, Shane at 9 years old knew, he have demon blood in him
That’s why he denies the existence of demons and isn’t scared by ghosts because he knows he’s the true demon and trying to throw people off the scent
That happened to my sister
16:48 Ryan posits; Shane confirms.
AS SOON AS I HEARD HIM SAY THAT I checked the comments LMAOOOOO I knew someone noticed it too😂
can’t sell your house as a real estate agent?
All Hail The Watcher
Your neighbor won’t let you have any of his limes?
All hail The Watcher
Nose bleed when you enter a church?
All hail The Watcher
Get murdered with a machete?
All Hail The Watcher
Your murder case is still unsolved?
All hail the watcher
you have no clue why your even reading these replies where people are just repeating “all hail the watcher”?
*all hail the watcher*
In a trial, you are not declared “innocent”. You are declared “not guilty”. It’s an important distinction.
The reason why Florida seems to be filled with crazy people is because of its open record policy. I don't remember what is actually called.
Also, your state could be just as crazy.
Freedom of information, you're so right.
The sunshine law. All public records can be accessed easily if you ask the record office in the state of Florida.
Cops in Reykjavik: Put em in solitary confinement.
Cops in Florida: HOSE DOWN THE EVIDENCE
@Sheng Lazarte 100% agreed!
what this video should be about: -An actress being murdered in Florida-
what it’s really about: *_Roasting Florida for being weird af_*
Mai Quartiaz bruh I’m from South Florida and there’s no swamp and barely any gators
@@thomastv8663 r/NobodyAsked
N damn I’m just tryna defend my state 😢
@@thomastv8663 For what it's worth I think Florida is pretty dope. I love alligators, burmese pythons and meth. Jk, just the gators and pythons. Also, the weather is usually pretty sweet.
“I don’t think that’s enough of a push”
People in line for the Popeyes chicken sandwich in 2019 stabbing eachother: am I a joke to you?
Shane: *talks openly about the time he walked into church and got a nosebleed*
My brain: The mystery of whether Shane is a demon or not will remain, unsolved.
Florida: Hose it
Iceland: solitary confinement
Hotel: trivago
I hope people get this lol
Priest: machete pointer
Mr. Stanford: hitting Ms. Ponsell
Yee: Haw
16:50 Shane, we've suspected you of being a demon for a long time but you really ought to stop outing yourself like that so plainly, it lacks tact and you're really just making yourself come across as quite the lower class hell spawn. #roastmortem
The parrot was his demonic familiar
Ryan agrees.
😈😈😈
17:03 the exact moment Ryan realized that Shane just might be a demon
Poor Clementine, I hope Clementine lived a full happy life.
"Clementine, the Blue Jay, was never seen again." THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOISIE
I KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE BOURGEOISIE
BIRDS ARENT REAL
THE BIRDS ARE ACTUALLY ROBOTS
BIRDS ARE TRULY DINOSAURS
aaron4094 _ how the heck do you pronounce it
16:38
Nosebleed in a church. Shane is actually a demon, confirmed.
No wonder he's never scared of ghosts/demons, he is a demonic entity himself!
This will be a great clip for the demon Shane madej compilations
hahahaha
100%
That would be the worst place because they would probably chuck a bible at you
I still think of what happened to Clementine. Poor bird.
I like the idea that in between takes, Ryan asked Shane about the parrot bit and if it was too far and Shane went “no no it was really great” but as soon as they started shooting again he regained that murderous look in his eyes
today we found out that shane officially became a demon at age 9
But demons can't sub 2 pewds
Luke jason hines who says they cant
so that's why Ryan carries a bottle of holy water with him all the time
crazy but the current likes on this comment is “999”
Lesli G if you flip it upside down it’s 666
it was clearly Clementine. she wanted to fly, not walk.
Kate Differ omfg 😭😂
Kate Differ genius lmao 😂
#freeClementine #Clementinenotguilty
Nobel prize nominee
Omg yes! #freeClementine
Ryan hearing the nosebleed story and slowly considering that internet theory that Shane's a demon 🤣
Disgruntled neighbours actually kill neighbours they've continually fought with quite often. Definitely not something that's unheard of
Cop: Detective! We found a pool of the victim’s blood on that side of the house!
Detective: Hmm... Gross! Hose it off!
Hmm... Now... Back to my hunch!
Excellent reference.
Lmao was looking for this comment.
We’ll draw chalk around the body. That way, we’ll know where it was…
This is an excellent reference and an underrated comment 😂😂😂
It is Florida
#roastmortem killers should really consider not killing in February, Ryan is struggling
😂😂
Right! Everyone who murders please do so in June. It’s easy to pronounce
if this comment isn't a part of the roastmortem part of next weeks post mortem what's the point
@@hwafans ikr😂
This is one of the best roasts I've seen.
The 1940s to 70s where rough, there were so many gruesome murders
Seems so
Dude I freaking love Ryan's laugh. It's adorable!!
so what i’ve learned from BFU is that everyone in florida has a machete and everyone in New Orleans has an axe
I'm from Louisiana, its more like everyone in New Orleans has a gun lol
As a Floridian i can confirm we all have machetes
I disagree with this statement. I am from Florida and no one in my family nor my fiancé’s family owns a machete. Not sure about the New Orleans thing though.
@@taylorlandry4333 back then
I have an axe but no machete. I am from New Jersey.
Next season of buzzfeed unsolved supernatural "the Exorcism of Shane Madej"
And the Bizarre Possession of Ryan Bergara
Noah Colegio The gears were turning in Ryan’s head at that whole nosebleed in a church business, you could tell
“...into our continuing exploration into why Florida is the way that it is.” 😂😂
my girl francis really said: i’m different 😈🥶
*gets killed while walking*
francis: oh
Police officer: Hey, there's a pool of the killers blood out here.
Detective: Hmm...gross! Clean that up.
Is that a John Mulaney reference I see
@@ajarofleeches9969 Now then, back to my hunch...
UNDER
RATED
COMMENT
Just what i was thinking TBH
We'll draw chalk around where the body is that way we'll know where it was
You're bird goes missing ?? ALL HAIL THE WATCHER
communist onion your*
@@JustPopCulture stop
Omg yesss
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
communist onion All hail the watcher 😂
16:37 - shane getting a nosebleed in church really feeds into my theory that he's a highly respected demon that no ghosts dare to mess with
If Stanford really were embezzling, that could have added more fuel to his rage fire. The husband is also iffy, but seems more likely to have been the neighbor.
Why did the music make it looked like the bird was the main loss
Bernie Cleene the poor bird tho
Because the bird was the main loss
Bernie Cleene because it was :( jk rest in peace Athalia
Because it was. Poor bird
Cat and Kitty 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Before I even clicked the video, seeing the name Florida in the title and as a floridian myself, I sighed deeply and said to myself
”what is it this time”
iilucydacat ;P we as Floridians have such a bad rep 😪
LMFAOO
Same girl same
iilucydacat ;P SAMEEE
iilucydacat ;P LMAO
Ryan and Shane can never get their dreams of having haters. They are too lovable
Feels like two different murderers to me. A crime of passion, followed by a Copycat who hoped it would be looped into Athalias murder.