3 Mind Games Narcissists Use To Control You
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- čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
- In this video, I explain the 3 main weapons that the narcissist uses to form a strong trauma-bond to psychologically control you. These three weapons are: 1. The Art of Illusion; 2. The Art of Confusion; and 3. The Art of Manipulation.
If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe so that others might find help in it as well! I would so greatly appreciate it. 💜
It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏
/ @liseleblanc
About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
For information about private consultations, please visit: liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
Introduction (0:00)
Psychological Abuse (0:41)
1 - Illusion (2:03)
2 - Confusion (5:29)
3 - Manipulation (8:12)
#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist
Thank you for this video and all you do! Your videos saved me from a toxic woman who used all of the manipulations you've explained to get her hooks into this widower. But not before she went into a toxic rage after I chose to go no contact. She's now facing the consequences of her actions within the criminal justice system. And I owe it all to you for opening my eyes.
You got lucky. I was the one who called the cops, and now i am the one awaiting court dates. She destroyed not only my trust in her, but in civilization
Thank you for another very insightful video. I now can see exactly how I am being strung along for the last 2 months. This will not keep going like this. I resent being manipulated and deceived. This information that you just provided is going to save me so much aggravation. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
They are out there destroying lives both toxic males and females
Good for you. Stay vigilant and eyes wide open
@@jmlkhan5153 same here. I started to leave a year before, but she pleaded with me to stay while she ran off at every opportunity, she could make an excuse for. I ask her why she wanted me to stay, she didn't give a S*** about me? Thats a fact that just played out again and again.
I watched this video three times in a row last night. You explain the nuts and bolts on this subject perfectly.
I think i got brain damaged by the trauma bond. It was weird because i remember there was a time when i couldn't be alone and at the same time i couldn't go outside. I just felt that i couldn't handle the outside world and society. I did not want to get up to go to work but i forced myself to do it. I knew i had to fake it through work but i seriously was not right mentally at all. I never felt like this before. It was scary. I think it was from sleep deprivation and the psychological abuse from the narcissist relationship.
It was only time and rest that healed or got me back to feeling better. After 3 years I still don't think i'm 100% back to how i was but i'm ok now and doing alright.
I was deeply traumatised for 2 years and it took a long time to really feel anything like my natural self again. Those 2 years were hell but there were sweet moments and i grew alot in awareness and understanding. It was way too intense though .. too much for a person to handle, .. not knowing who the hell i was anymore, not knowing what was true and what wasn't, .. clinging to sanity, overwhelmed with emotion and restlessness, and having to force myself to go out there in the world and carry on, to find friends and just cope. Fearing for my sanity and not knowing what had happened to me. At one point i thought i was on the verge of going completely nuts.
You're past the worst of it. Keep going and don't look back. Focus on your self worth, set boundarys, do stuff, make friends, find community, be authentic, and find something meaningful and enjoyable to do.
@@hardywatkins7737 Yes. You know. You were traumatized the same way i was. Everybody's situation is different and everybody's personality is different but i think you and i similar. I'm 3 years no contact and i'm ok now but man for a year or so it was very scary. I felt weakened and schizophrenic and i really didn't know if i was going to come out of it. Well , In short i can now say that i will never let that happen to me again.
Thanks for responding. I think it's good that victim's share their stories. 👍
I’m in same spot but I deal with 2 narcissistic females one was out of my life 16yrs ago another is still in my life going on for like 16yrs so one was out then I have to deal with another one I feel drained.
@Divine Retribution The longer you stay involved with the narcissist after they devalue you the more twisted the situation becomes and the longer it is going to take you to unravel it. You will never forget it but all the drama that you dealt with will ease up over time. It did for me. I had my mother and a good friend of mine to talk it out with. They were my therapists through the past three years. Also remember you have to stay strong mentally and just realize that some of things that happenned were f'd up and there's nothing you can do to change that. Just accept it but stay strong and put in the work to get back to the person who want to be. Don't let it change you for the worst.
It does cause brain damage! But you can repair this kind. Check out Dr.Caroline Leaf here on CZcams. She also has books.
Dr. Caroline Leaf
Cleaning Up the Mental Mess (podcast and book)
So accurate. No placating victims or demonizing narcissists to get more subscribers or comments, just describing what's happening in these relationships in a way that makes it obvious none of us are alone in our experiences. You are the best in the whole field.
You've just caused me to realise .
.. there's not much mention of empaths here, (i mean from Lise and in the comments both) no supernovas, no light and dark. It's quite refreshing.
Narcissists wholly deserve to be demonized , it's who they are!
@@StompingRabbits Hey, watch out for the categorical black and white thinking, the defence mechanism (splitting) so common among cluster B:s. If you go there you never know where it ends. There are obviously many different degrees of pathology among narcissists, and some are acutally trying to improve/get healthier. By demonizing them all you probably help keep some pathologies alive for longer than necessary.
There’s a great point that I think needs to be pointed out in your comment.
As narc prey many times we beat ourselves up for falling victim to these toxic people.
We feel we should’ve seen the red flags before they turned us and our lives upside down especially because we’re, typically, very capable in other areas of our lives.
For most of us we were groomed in our early childhood to be the ideal prey for these predators.
We were either raised by narcs are conditioned to be codependent’s both circumstances that make us vulnerable to choosing narc relationships and toxic people.
I don’t know about you guys but when I sat in retrospect and contemplated my past most of my relationships have been with either narcs or toxic people to varying degrees. I am a narc/ toxic people magnet.
Understanding this fact has allowed me to set and adhere to boundaries, love myself and be ok with using the word “no” in dealing with people.
Throughout my life, my narc wife has not been the only toxic person I’ve had interactions with; she’s just been the most egregious. Have any of you had similar experiences?
@@kirbyaugustine761 Yeah, I recognize a lot❤ though I'm fortunate enough to have gathered mostly "normals" around me, apart from romantic relationships. But that's easily enough to wear someone down in the long run on its own.
Now, let's keep those boundaries. Agreed? :)
She is so brillant. Please people listen to her, everything is so true. I have lived everything she says.
It's blown my mind. She had told me *all* about how abusive her exes were; so much so I ended up watching vids and reading up on narcs and abusers, putting her in touch with counsellors etc etc... It never even occurred to me that I was being emotionally abused with love-bombing, sex-bombing, future-faking, being discarded. bouncing between her ex and me for attention... For the very first time things have finally started to make some sense.
It is refreshing to see a therapist who is not discriminating or fearful of the intergrel awareness men and women both need to evolve to their full human potential. Thank you Lisa.
No wonder why so many men goto jail. They r not strong enough to leave toxic women . then these women just move to the next man playing victim
Love the Eagles reference. Joe Walsh's lyrics are all about narcissism and the human condition. Same with Don Henley.
Thank You so much for all your videos. They're helping me to get over my narcissist soon to be ex-wife! It has been a hard journey but I'm better now than I was. She had my power for 9 years but I took my power back by leaving my house to start the separation period for a divorce! My final straw was I was having a mental health breakdown and I told her about it and she rolled her eyes at me, instead of trying to help me. I'm on the road to get my life back and I will find someone to really love me.
Glad things are picking up, man. You're free from her now!
Make that someone who loves you be you.
Dr. Lise, heartfelt thanks and gratitude for this interpretation. Again and again, you hit the nail on the head.
I was abused, manipulated and gaslighted by her while I was suffering the ecco of the worst accusations from my spiritual narcissistic hierarchical boss. I'm eternally grateful to you for spreading awareness and exposing their demonic manipulation
I now understand my ex boyfriend is trauma bonded to his ex girlfriend who is a master manipulator, and female malignant narcissist.. She ended the relationship with him, married someone else and triangulates both guys intensifying the trauma bond. I didn't understand the pathology I was getting into. I finally saw what was on his phone with her, it was devastating. I'm out 3 years and beginning to recover my mental health.
I was trauma bonded to my ex and had reached a point of accepting she was NOT good for me and that she would not change. I heard she was marrying her current partner of 18 months and then suddenly it seems she discarded him too and was now with someone else. Anyway that was really the end of all hope. Really just fully recognising that there was no love there. Had to close my heart to her to do it though. I wish there could have been some mutual understanding or accord and closure but they don't do that.
It's good you understood so much and got away, devastating as it is.
@@hardywatkins7737 The fact they won't change is a painful truth, but that truth sets us free. Free from investing anymore time in our own self destruction trying to have a healthy relationship with someone who is incapable.
Thank you for explaining what a female narcissist is and does, because all other psychologists and coaches mention is usually about men or men/women (but too ambiguos). You're videos are on point. I appreciate it because you make me stay strong in my decision to have blocked her from everything and cut all ties with her. Thank you doctor 🙏
Your videos have helped me more than any of the others I've watched over these past 7 years I've been dealing with my wife. She alienated me from my kids. She pushed me away and kept me at a distance. Then she set me up to stay where I was with promises of reuniting with my kids again and living together again. She was actually already cheating on me and just keeping me on the hook for the sex for as long as she could before the discard when I found out. When I did she accused me of violence and called the police. It's a long story and it took me a long time to work thru it. It's still not over yet. She still has a death grip on my life and won't let go. But I'm working my way to the exit. This video really describes what I've been thru more then any of the others. I'm a rockstar. I've been with gorgeous women. This one strung me out like she knew me inside and out. Took me a long time to figure out her manipulations because I put too much trust in her. She ruined my kids. Why isn't emotional abuse illegal? Or financial abuse? Some part of this should be illegal. It's really insidious. Thanks again. Your way better then Dr Ramani. ☺️
Lisa, you have given me the explanation I needed to break my cognitive dissonance, the BS ing of yourself to you. Damm I needed this, and many others to penetrate my thick skull....but, I got it now. GOD bless your work!
The best repellent is strong self-integrity. Do not be distracted from your purpose. Manage your time and energy very carefully. Make choices now that YOU will be proud tomorrow. Take your time and appreciate each choice you are making. The biggest red flag is a feeling like everything is "perfect." It feels amazing and too easy at the same time. The trap is you start changing your behavior to keep things "perfect." And yes, you will spend a significant amount of time unraveling from the codependency if you indulge in it. Be careful out there!
Sounds good if you say it fast. This comment smacks of false truth.
The best repellent is knowledge provided by videos like this. And self-awareness. Blaming the victim of narc abuse is unacceptable enabling tactic.
@@privateerpix The best repellent is having gone through it yourself remember life is a learning experience? I woke up long ago to these closet Narcs this lady just proves I was right.
Your words are so true...
Be mindful that each narc you encounter you become more resilient to. You'll be smarter and invest less into someone that shows red flags popping up. You'll recover quicker because you realize they don't care, why should you??
To put the dynamic into Eagles song titles:
"New Kid in Town"
"Life in the Fast Lane"
"Best of My Love"
"Lyin' Eyes"
"Victim of Love"
"Try and Love Again"
"Heartache Tonight"
"Witchy Woman"
"The Last Resort"
...and if you're lucky...
"Already Gone" followed by "Peaceful, Easy Feeling"
You can’t forget, “One of these Nights”
Great Idea! Eagles sound trac for those of us imperfect souls, well meaning men and women, this happens to. Recovery awaits. Humor awaits. Unicorns are dangerous. Beware what’s too good to be true.
😂
That is great.
Then you promise to get back together with her when...HELL FREEZES OVER!
perfect to a "T". I thought i was helping her, but it was the other way around. She was changing me, molding me into an automaton what she wanted me to be.
sadly, it took me over 2 decades to understand and finally extricate myself from the toxic relationship.
thanks, lise!
You nailed it 100% I wish I didn't have to experience it to figure it out but now I know thank you Lise Leblanc
I was listening to the Eagles songs the other day nearly every song is about toxic women.
no
@Lise Leblanc you are a God send! everyone needs to watch and understand this going into a relationship. This happened to me and I was completed blinded by love and am still reeling. She did not have a narcissistic disorder but more of a covert spectrum of this.
Thank you for this video and being a very needed voice for men. Like you said we as society have this stigma that men are always the abusers and in the wrong. From my experiences its very much been the women Ive dated that were abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, and hurtful. Its nice to know that Im not the only one going through this
Very good video! The trama bond and addiction. I didn't get it until the addiction part was explained to me. I was raised by a narcissist so the pathways were already there. The narcissist relationships seemed normal; if there was a problem it was me. Thanks to work like this I became aware learned all the terms and applied them. I'm free. It wasn't easy. I still say that I can't diagnose anyone with NPD. However I can label the symptoms. "If it looks like a duck!" RUN!
I've described my ex as a narcissist "un-diagnosed" using air quotes. If it looks like a duck... It was almost 12 years before I learned about narcissism.
@@brianlane9534 Same. I came to understand the behaviors and causes throughout my post-discard breakdown (that hell lasted 2 years) and understood it clearly as a defence mechanism but i didn't find out about NPD also until about 10 or 12 years later with the advent of the internet. I sometimes refer to my ex as a 'textbook' narcissist .. just ticks ALL the boxes.
Trauma Bonds are the absolute worst. Didn't know it was happening till it was too late. But now I'm healing. The body and brain chemistry changes are insane.
And I made better choices. Listen to Lise and pass the info on to everyone you know. This planet is one big giant ball of trauma
How do you heal? It is 9 months since break up and I still feel the same patterns .. help!
Thank you so much for your insight! As a man, you have helped me tremendously to find the answers throughout the breakup of my ex girlfriend after a 2 year relationship. I was trauma bonded, confused, and had a loss of identity in order to cater to her needs and seek her approval/love with no reciprocation in return while I was still with her. Dealing with someone of this caliber was a first for me and the psychological devastation and heartache I felt made me seek out a therapist for the first time in my life just because of her. I have found some improvement with therapy but your videos seem to resonate with me more.
Thanks so much for your message! I’m glad to hear that you are healing
Amazing! Glad you got clarity. As I once heard, we all need to learn how to be our own therapists, and lise's vids really help empower us to help ourselves. Thank you!
Thank you Lise for helping us, men!
I'm scared to date ....... Straight up. I'm an attractive, nice, creative 42 year old. Dealt with a few narcissists in my day. Thought I met a good woman recently.... She turned out to be a full blown narcissist. Playing all the games. I got out..... I ended it after three months. My new rule is not to sleep with anyone until I've seen every single side. Until I've seen the good the bad and the ugly. Otherwise I'll just get played with. And playing with a narc is a losing game. I wish they didn't exist.
If you leave them or discard first, they will always admire you...
@kaw boy you know if they are worthy or not
The worst is having to endure this when under emotional duress from war/ physical trauma (couldn't walk) .....and enduring mockery/gaslighting when catching them cheating. My cognitive dissonance was so bad, I couldn't even go grocery shopping without help. Months later a false accusation of harassment that would later be dropped due to her lack of evidence. Some around me still think I'm crazy and a stalker because she gossiped to them first. I thank god for my trauma, otherwise I would've been stuck with an immoral individual. Her best friend even said to me, 'stop playing the moral high ground'... so what I have to sink to her level? No thanks, thanks for the lessons though.
It's sad sometimes that those who shout the loudest get heard. If i have to ever defend myself with mutual aquaintances i just tell them straight that she's a covert narcissist and tell them what her game is. I just stand my ground. I also occasionally post something about narcissism on facebook, to educate but also to make like a time-stamped online statement to any mutual aquaintance who may have been 'told things' about me.
@@hardywatkins7737 Narcissists are "wizards of triangulation"..! Your intelligent solutions will counteract their lies..!! Congrats for being so great at getting your side of the story and your truth out there..!! Good Job..!!
This may be the best video I have ever seen on this subject !
Thank you Lise. I'm just happy to have escaped her vicious tactics.
Jesus christ.
Yes ! I am one of them. She called the police to kick me out of my own condo. That was one year ago and see is still there. Realizing this I got into a deep depression. It took me months to get out. Meditation, gym, positive thinking, 9 month of psychological help. Ans the most important is to be in a support group for men experiencing spouse abuse. In the end physical abuse, and using the justice system.
Yeah they can use and abuse the justice system. I was threatened with a restraining order .. only a solicitors letter however, and later on had the police at my place because she told them i broke into her car. She threatened to have my legs broken also. Crazy woman. Luckily i never lived with her.
Haven't seen the inside of my home in 7 years. Haven't seen or spoken to my kids or seen my dogs in 7 years. Haven't had a Thanksgiving or a Christmas in 7 years. She alienated me from my kids. Made them fear and hate me for trying to save them from her abuse. 7 years later they are finally understanding what she's done to sabotage their lives but now the damage is done. I tried to proactively save them and the courts prevented it because of her manipulations, false accusations of violence and a stay away order. Hard not to be bitter. Even harder to get out with your life and your health. I went into a deep depression and stopped eating and drinking water because I couldn't find any help. I couldn't get anyone to listen or believe my story and I was desparate to save my kids. I ended up with a DVT and an auto immune disease. Still fighting it. Don't expect I'll ever see the inside of my house again. Or my kids, my dogs or my stuff. She got away with all of it and it's all legal. Lost my business. Trying to reinvent myself at 53 with nothing was not part of my plan.
I went through the same experience. She called the cops on me, and said she and the kids wouldnt feel safe around me.
I had to give back the key.
The next day she asked me if i can cut the lawn, because she was tired.
Same, I'm paying for repairs to a Lakehouse I haven't seen in a year and a half. No shortage of Flying Monkeys to rally around the woman who once tried to choke me and slapped me in the face on many occasions. Apparently, they don't like being confronted with any truth about their words or actions. Which just don't match up.
@@jimig399 Why don't we call the cops when a women dose this? Question #1, What did you do to her? Followed by sir, you'll have to leave for a while. It's literally in the Domestic Violence prevention courses in black and white. Why men don't report abuse done to them. Like we don't already all know this.
An excellent explanation. I’ve passed it in to my son who had to deal with his narcissistic mother. He went no contact with her 16 years ago. My daughters deal with her on their terms but still receive her nonsense and associated fallout. Thank you so much. These women are evil
My partner once gave me a list of things that might make me happy. (I was very unhappy). One of the items was “a girlfriend “. All of a sudden I was a jerk for being unhappy. After all, I was making her suspect that I wanted to cheat on her. That’s a hell of a manipulation right there!
This short, excellent presentation equals an entire library of related materials on the subject. Insanely precise and on the point! ☀️
I really appreciate your focus on helping men. I think this kind of violence is the most used by abusive women as it is so hard to prove and let them walk away with it in ways a man wont be able to do.
Our society isn't really ready for this conversation.
I'm a person who had a malignant narcissistic mother and consequently had been with 2 narcs (overt/covert) for a total of 15 years before getting to understand, educate and free myself; i wish i've learned somehow these things in my early 20s and it is so hearth warming to find women like you putting out such work and help for men who had been victimized and abused. It is very hard for us to find help and support nowdays but even more to be understood or believed. Thx alot. Lots of love from Berlin
Lise, I’ve been 10 years in a dramatic relation to a narcissistic woman. It’s exactly like you describe. It’s the first time I see such a good explanation to the process. You’re going deep about understanding this specific personality and abuse. It’s exactly in the rewarding of our brain that is the answer, but that detail of anxiety of the risk of loosing her, and the getting back, is the bigger trap. I remember well in one of those moments, I felt pure and absolute joy and happiness.
I passed for something as 30 break and getting back. That mechanism realy works creating a trauma, that enslaved me. Then, there were more extreme situations. It’s an evil game, because it seams not consciousness, but in other side, it can only be. So, one stands between that evaluation of intention, that never gets an answer. When in presence of clear mind reasoning, with all that knowledge disponível actually, there is always a refuse, a denial of admiring científic explanation. There is no hope, as we cannot push, nor accept. There is always a denial of past… as it is not convenient. Even after a strong treat of disease, that woman get softer, but the mechanisms are still there.
Another great video. Explaining all this really helps with the processing of everything that happened to me. Although I did discover most of what is said here on my own, I was unable to put in words this well.
best explanation of narcissism I have seen. Thank you.
Once again, spot on
This is my breakup Bible thank you so much 💜 gives me so much strength to hear step by step what I felt and still feel and makes me able to stay away without contact.
Much love from Germany ❤️
I can't emphasize enough how much your videos are helping me through a very difficult time following an intense relationship with a CNF. Thank you Lise!!
Well said Lise. You are the best xo
Thank's Lisa, happy newyrs, and a merry x-mas!!!
Thanks again for your work!
Excellent reviews ! Amazing analysis
some
of the most clear videos out here on these topics, thank you!
Excellent discussion.
Another excellent presentation! Thanks again --
Damn your on point ❤️💪 I'm glad I found this, tanks ❤️🙏
This is what I needed to hear . This was so necessary for me to hear. ThanK you.
Your videos are amazing, they are dead on. Thank you very much.
Doing gods work lisa, thank you
I am so glad that my curiosity and finding videos like this has helped me become more aware because not just one thing, but everything you have said has been on point!
This video explains myself almost exactly thank you great work.
It’s as if you were reading out my life experience from the past 20 months. Your accuracy is scary. It’s also very sad to finally know …that it was all pretence and nothing was real. I seriously thought to myself at the beginning of the relationship “wow, this is exactly whom I’ve waited for all my life “ and I even used to ask her “ where have you been all these years “? I had shared things about me that I had never trusted to tell anyone and it was all patiently listened to …only to be used against me later. A very humiliating and degrading experience. Makes one lose respect for oneself !! She’s even called me …scum of the earth …and all sorts of horrible things.
Now it’s over …I’ve gone no contact. I really thought …she was the “one” …
this made the hair stand up on my arms.... a lot of your videos sound like a 95% play by play of my last 4 years. didn't realize how bad things really were until it was too late.
thank you for what you do, it's nice to see more help like this being made available for men (especially those of us who are highly emotional).
Thank you for making the difference. I am all for feminism and uplifting women, but men face big problems too and very few people seem to care about that. Thank you.
Thank you!
This is eerie. The description is spot on. Although in my case I think it was BPD.
Thank you so much. These videos are helping me make sense of and deal with the horror I experienced over the last few years.
Near the end, I described myself as Reek, the character from "Game of Thrones." It wasn't until I watched it (got) in 2021 did I realize what I had become to her. I was Reek to her.
Amazing & clear explanation I personally need this to understand & gradually feel myself again. Thank Lise.
Love Dr. Leblanc
Thank you for a very detailed explanation of the process of trauma bonding. It is exactly the case.
Yup, I'm taking notes from this and bringing it up with my therapist. I have lost my identity, been cheated on and somehow I'm the one trying to apologize and fix myself over and over again. This is mind blowing. I never know how to keep her happy, never know what i do wrong. As soon as i think we're good and im happy shes cold and withdrwn. Thank you.
Leave. It won’t get better.
You need to understand that the person you fell in love with never existed. They played a character. Doubting your reality is normal with this abuse. Don’t talk to anyone who hasn’t been through this. Average person can’t understand this at all.
THANK YOU!!!
Lise you have a gift
Mrs. LeBlanc is on point
I absolutely love you ma'am thanks for your help ❤️
So spot on
Excellent video I wish I knew these things a long many years ago.
15 years. Thank you.
Namste
you are 100% accurate, what happened with me from last 5 years.
accept my Thanks.
I went though this exactly in 2023 , thank you I was going crazy trying to make everything perfect and the roller coaster kept repeating , nothing happening only good and providing every solution to the random issues but something always has to be wrong out of nowhere I was like a ham[ster in a wheel I was doing my best to save her guide her and be a consistent person for her daughter but nothing was good enough she would even tell me she’s done this to many guys before and ‘’it’s not about her anymore’’ and she can help it finally telling me she was on meds and therapy
I spend all my time trying to figure out how to keep her happy, trying to change my approach every time. She’d go so far as tell me exactly what to say. She’d say that I just couldn’t meet her needs that she can’t count on me, I’m not the man she thought I was. I hadn’t changed from when she met me, I was actually going way above and beyond so it would mess with my mind. Then, she’d show glimpses of my dream girl, but as time went on that girl was less and less. I was just hoping to make it consecutive days without random conflict and her dips in feeling. About three weeks ago she discarded me having lined up a new immediate relation, the week before we were making plans to move in together. She had zero mourning period from leaving a relationship she swore was forever. Since, I’ve never felt more unstable. I feel like a prisoner in my own body while she’s callously flaunting on socials.
I can never get a straight answer from her. Ever!
I appreciate your work
Damn. Sounds like you’ve been “a fly on the wall” of my life in dealing with my narc wife of 19 years.
I’ve realized that educating yourself on narcissism is vital to healing yourself from narc abuse but in the end all roads lead to the decision to leave or stay.
Narcs will poison drip you to your literal death if you don’t choose yourself and leave. Whether you leave or stay is all the narc truly cares about.
Great video. I appreciate your no frills approach to sharing this important information. Thank you Lise.
Thank you for giving this advice for men, we struggle just as much as women
I love your channel, and your videos are a great source of comfort. I'm interested to know more about the last comment you made - ie not being able to find your way back. I'm really worried that I'm losing myself in my current situation, and in a perpetual state of hope and longing. I've been so low and felt so much grief and emptiness, and then suddenly been 'picked up' and rescued by her for short periods, only to then be dumped back into the abyss. She leaves me on read and ignores me, like I don't matter at all, and this will be punctuated either by a message asking for something, or a message full of affection and future faking. I've never felt so emotionally confused in my life 😢
Thanku Lise
Thank you. I was abused and I felt horrible, after my break up I only had money motivating me to live, my buisness started to grow but I felt like I was only good enoughfor my buisness, now I understand all this. Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm trying to find out why my father didn't protect me from my mother but joined the constant lynching. If you share children with a narcissistic woman, even if you can't do anything due to divorce or whatever, stay strong. Those of your children who don't become narcissists would need your help in the future.
That's super intense, thanks for breaking this down! Not that it really matters much, but my curiosity makes me wonder if they know what they are doing - like, are they able to detach from their emotions and be this cold and calculating? Or if it's just deep rooted insecurities that they become intense control freaks, and this just becomes an cycle they go through, but not actually realize what they are doing?
Thank you
I lost 22 years of my life to a toxic, female covert narcissist. Unfortunately, I was totally taken in by her, married her then later she turned on me like a cobra. I could write a book about the horrible experience and I am psychologically scared.
Love the Hotel California reference!
Dear Lise, your videos are easily understoood and the best i have seen so far. I just got dumped by a narcissist boyfriend. He is doing exactly what you said - he snapped at me for no reasons, becomes no accessible, and only accessible when he wants to, had frequent sexual relationship behind me (though i knew it but choose to keep silent). I was indeed trying to help and change him, and i got so addicted to him. I am doing the no contact strategy and honestly i still miss him and look at the pictures taken together with him and recall the happy moments. I know this is all illusion. Trying hard to snap out of it.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this painful experience. This might help: 10 Steps To Break The Trauma-Bond With A Narcissist
czcams.com/video/lXt7ry7zyaI/video.html
thank you
I mention Dr R out of respect as she has helped me a lot along the way, but you have worded this is amazing… not sure to explain it, maybe more direct with the information perhaps. I don’t know but…. Just, Thank You 🙏
You helped me more than u know. Nobody thinks this could happen to them bur these monsters are real and thet believe this normal behaviour.
You are awesome. How am I just finding your videos lol?
LOVE the Hotel California references!
My story is so sad…I cannot express in words….it’s too heavy
Not heavier than mine, probably. Mine only lasted for 4 months but it shattered all my health and personality. Keep strong!💪🏽
greeting from india, i agree no one talks abuse on man
Genious comparison with Hotel California
My narc was working hard to convince me I was insane. The man who had a live for life and the beauty in it. The dreamer, the smile on my face through life's ups downs through it all. Hopeful. An artist, writer, poet, weightlifter, cook, affectionate and caring and thoughtful man.
She was killing all that and convincing me I was insane.
When I stuck to my truths and called her out on her stuff confidently. She would, in the sweetest honey coated voice ever say "Nooo baby please. That's not how it happened at all. You're in your head again. I love you and I'm here to help you through this. It'ill be OK."
Like wtf.
Insanity.
So glad that internal intuition or whatever I have never fully accepted her words and always resisted. Always fought.
I made it out from the trenches a few years ago and am still reclaiming all those parts of me she wanted to bury.
God, what an intro. Darling 🥰
Thank you, thank you....I am a man and in a horrible marriage..this sounds so true to me
Talk about the "flying monkeys" tactic they do as wll