Irish School Admissions
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Irish School Admissions
#Comedy #Catholic #Atheist #ireland
Atheist father tries to put his son in a Catholic school
Foil Arms and Hog
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In Northen Ireland , during the troubles there was this joke :
A guy comes into a bar and orders a drink. The guys around him , not recognising him watch him with suspicion . One of them who was very muscular comes up to him and asks : "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant ?"
The guy replies "Actually , Im an atheist"
The muscular guy , confused , asks "But are you a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant atheist ?"
I heard this joke, except with a Jew instead of with an atheist.
@@zhouwu that would work better. Because when someone is an atheist, he could be a Catholic or Protestant before renouncing the faith.
@@zhouwu That's even better.
I heard a similar Troubles joke once:
A tourist walks back to his hotel a late night in Belfast, but takes a wrong turn and ends up in a shady part of town. As he walks past an alleyway he is suddenly ambushed, pressed up against the wall, and feels a knife on his throat. A hoarse voice whispers "Protestant or Catholic?"
The tourist manages to stutter "Ne-neither! I'm a Jew!"
The hoarse voice laughs: "Wow. I must be the luckiest jihadist in Belfast!"
@@Codraroll
Sounds like a "nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition" joke, except with a jihadist instead of the Spanish Inquisition.
"MECCAS THAT WAY CIARAN FOR GODS SAKE"
That made me laugh out loud for real
@@tausifkarim8861 that's not how it works
Tausif Karim yeah it really isn’t
Especially if your idk west of Mecca
Ciran
On a second viewing I appreciate that every time the kid speaks he actually gives the right response.
I noticed that. Reciting the Lord's Prayer and all.
And "good at Rugby" was the golden ticket.
All two times?
Ciarán's on his knees, right? And a bit deeper in the background?
@@thiagodeandrade7081 He didn't recite the Lord's prayer in Latin though... School entry fail.
You are the only people I know who managed to joke about many religions at once without insulting anyone! That is a great achievement!
MECCAS THAT WAY CIARAN FOR GODS SAKE
Especially Rugby, their fanatics are crazy too
@K S The endless ideological war from USA, which I assume, you're from there, based on your words. Both sides get offended by different things and react in similar ways, by the way.
Also, believing their own side is perfect, it's another thing both sides are quite similar.
It's more fun when they insult them all, as far as I'm concerned.
@K S so if I call you a dickhead you wont be insulted or will you see the stupidity of your comment ?
Saying "I play hockey" literally got me into my catholic school, while still not being catholic
We had a hockey joke in the first draft! haha
Jesus loves hockey.
I'm now obligated to ask if you're Canadian.
Acco 4321 ice hockey is the only hockey you heathen
I'm an English Catholic! But what's the deal in Ireland? Catholic's play certain sports, Protestant's play certain sports right?!
"Mecca that way for gods sake" lol that won killed me 😂👌
Hahaha that one was the best for me too 😂😂😂
Same
one
My favourite part too 😂
I don't understand that joke
I'm hindu, but got into a Catholic primary school (uk) because the registration lady didnt want to seem racist in front of the local bbc camera crew that happened to be there at the time!
@Tree House haha! I wasn't discriminated against or anything, the only difference between my school and a normal public one is that it was better and I could just take a nap during religious education and church visits (which were mandatory). Luckily now I live in the us, where all public schools are relatively good
@Tree House It depends, really, but it's definitely true that schools in good areas are miles ahead of schools in bad areas. I've lived in both, and the bad area school had trouble paying its teachers, and even getting enough desks for everyone. People had to actually sit on the floor if they came a minute late (so incentive to come early I guess). That was an urban school district. The one I go to now, all the teachers are given 500 dollar macbook airs and every classroom has like, 2 projectors, even the pe class
@Tree House if I'm being honest, the us is nicer than the uk, (don't get hurt here tho, I had a fracture i had to get a tourniquet for, it would have cost us 40,000 dollars without insurance)
@Tree House It's the religious morals that led the schools in a positive direction (whether it came with issues or not). You can't divorce the school from the religion just because them not agreeing with you made you sad and because you think they're the "good schools" it would completely upset the balance that led to them becoming the good schools they are in the first place. That's really obnoxiously self important towards your own personal belief system to think they should change for YOU as well.
@Tree House Yeah, no, sorry, you've proved nothing, completely missed my point and still sound full of yourself.
I cannot compromise the Catholic ethos of this- “I’m good at rugby”
As the good book says a conversion is worth 2 points
@@christianbrown7442 criminally underrated comment!! Lol :)
'THE MOST CATHOLICEST'
Heh, it rhymes with...
Oh no wait, that's Alabama. I got confusd!
I've watched this like 10 times and I finally caught the joke about Sister Act 😂
"We had this nun, brilliant singer. Of course we didn't realize she was under the witness protection program."
Whoopi Goldberg in Ireland
Oooh. Okay. Didn't quite get the reference. Thanks!
My second time I caught that too 😁
Loved that movie!
I went to Catholic school too, the amount of parents who get their kids baptised just to go is unbelievable. True to life, hehe 😂
The catholic school my daughter goes to gives you a discount if you're catholic.
That’s insane, so that suggests a majority of their pupils are non catholic, running out of applicants
@@janedavenport9109 I've considered becoming catholic for the discount.....it would be the Jewish thing to do 😀
Hehe, already know the first half of the bible, if you’re Jewish. the standards are pretty low these days, I noticed the schools standards gradually slipping. Think the church is desperate for converts so will accept, and hope they can turn you into a true believer by the end of your school time.
@@janedavenport9109 the school my daughter goes to is one of the best in the area. Normally we wouldn't be able to afford it, but she's the only grandchild on both sides of the family, so everyone pitches in for her education.
As a Muslim who went to a catholic high school, i found this hilarious.
Bullshit your way until you make it!
@OriginalYithian
I'm curious, what do you mean by god's chosen people?
Ignore my account name, this is a joke/troll throwaway account I made to make fun of the Scottish government and court system over a case of a man being convicted for his dog being a Nazi.
@@hitlerssecondcoming2523 According to Jewish and to some extant Christian theology, the Jewish people were "chosen."
Əbu Zörğhanürr At-Türkməni I didn’t know there were replies on this... although it’s making me regret writing this comment.
To answer your question, I live in Canada and the catholic schools here are public. The only differences were the uniform, mandatory religion class and the occasional mass I had to attend. I didn’t mind it cuz I am respectful of other religions (and curious) and also everyone was wonderful to me and nobody tried to convert me. BUT that was just my personal experience. And I don’t think many muslims attend catholic schools... I was the only female Muslim in mine.
@Əbu Zörğhanürr At-Türkməni you can't throw the term "kafir" to people, Muslims don't do that and chrisitians are People of the Book by the way.
For the school, all those I know (family) who sent their children to such schools did so because these institutions have good reputation and they teach well.
In islam, teaching has no religion, you must chose the best to teach you regardless of his religious beliefs.
Priest - "You're divorced??"
Lad - "Oh God no, we never married. Lesson learned, always use protection. Shur ya know yourself".
That little bit is hilarious and unfortunately, not too far off the truth..
😁
Well Catholic priests do not need protection, they cant make little boys pregnant...
If you look at the statistics child sexual abuse by priests is no greater than among the general population; in fact it's at a lesser rate. 1 in 10 adult males have or will sexually abuse a minor and your child is 4 times more likely to be abused in a public school
I love that this knocks Catholics twice because priests aren’t supposed to have sex and cause the church is super anti contraception😂
Neck Squad Yea as much as I definitely care about that, priests are still morons who have wasted their lives on lies and spread hate, not to mention that many even dumber (idek how) people follow these bastards and get advice from them. So idc if these stereotypes about priests are a lie when the only thing they know is lies, the world will be without problem the day the last human stops believing in the supernatural, even if it is the last human to ever live.
"We're doing an Irish tour, starting in Belmullet."
Words never before uttered in that order in the history of the universe,
I thought there was just Dublin in Ireland 😅
I was born ten thousand years ago,
In Belmullet in the country of Mayo.
Where better to start?
@@eileenboles8645
...Londonder- *[Car bomb]*
@@fds7476 wha??
0:25
"As soon as we hear that call to prayer ..."
😂😂
I, a Hindu, used to go to catholic school in India. The only difference between catholic students and us was that they used to go to catechism and we used to go to "moral science". Plus really long holidays for both diwali and Christmas. Yay!
Haha same - after a point moral science just became a free period or a chance for teachers to take extra classes before exam season
In South Asia, I'd believe a great deal of Christian schools either have a plurality or majority of non-Christians.
oh my God schools are exactly the same here in the United States as far as the Catholic schools. Except it's American football and not rugby that will get you in
anamarvelo It's true. And basketball. And you still have to go to religion classes
really!? suppose that makes sense!
OMG you guys actually replied.
i love you guys
hello from the USA
Foil Arms and Hog l love you guys
St. Ignatius in Cleveland Ohio is
It's awesome that you managed to joke about so many religions but not insult any.
As a Muslim me hearing “Mecca is that way” was the best thing I heard in my morning so far
how do muslims know what direction they have to pray towards though?
@@BeaverChainsaw if they live in Europe or North America, they pray east, if they live in Asia or Oceania, they pray west
@@BeaverChainsaw i guess for many modern technologies and compasses allow for easy knowledge of that, i remember reading that in olden times Muslims were often taught how to read the stars to know where north is and from there deduct where the Mecca is
@@BeaverChainsaw
Dad has a special compass that is built with instructions to help find the direction, if I remember correctly, the compass has numbers all around it and you just point the North to the number that matches the country your are in, which gives you a rough idea where to point at.
You could also just use a compass and wing it with a map, or use google maps and also wing it.
There are currently apps that help with that.
Several hotels I went to has a sticker on the ceiling that points you to Mecca, be on the lookout for that if you went to a good hotel.
The easiest way is to just ask a guy that lives there and already knows where to point.
@@BeaverChainsaw good old google maps and a compass
This is so funny! I grew up Catholic and this reminds me of a conversation I had with a WASP where he thought that a rosary was a garden where you only grow roses...😐
@Michael Kevin Millet, so? Who cares? I grew up in (technically) Orthodox country, I've never been religious, and English is my second language, why on God's flat Earth should I know what a fucking rosary is? Due to profound stupidity of your argument, I will treasure my ignorance and won't look it up.
@Michael Kevin Millet How many in the west knows who the head of the Russian church is?
@@sspito The Patriarch of Moscow obviously. Don't know his name though.
@ Most non Catholics.
Despite being a atheist with no interest in religion I still know what a rosary is
MECCA’S THAT WAY FOR GOD’S SAKE😂😂😂
The 3 of you are all amazing actors and every single skit is original, very well written and hilarious!
why is it that your videos are still funny the millionth time you watch them? So many lovely details, like arms saying the most catholicist and just hog having to be drenched for hours while you filmed. I love it.
"Why didn't you say so?" The way he delivered that line, incredible 😂😂😂
i went to a hippie primary school that was about 6km away from where i lived (on top of that i had to cycle to it) because the local primary schools didn't want an atheist😂
that shit should be illegal.
people say religion is a force for good, and it brings people together...... bullshit.
and to have people turned away because they have the sense to not subscribe to a cult, is ridiculous.
child indoctrination ought to be banned. it's just like terrorism, and it's one by the people the kid trusts the most. "believe in these fairy tales or you're going to burn for eternity". that shit definitely kept me in line with the church, since i was terrified to even question it, for fear of angering god.
Yeah, but also in the other hand, since as an atheist a baptism means nothing, might be no big deal to do it to get into a school, if that was the only contention. Not that I'd put my own kids in a catholic school, the indoctrination there only starts with that baptism ;)
@@mantistoboggan5171 Religion shouldn’t be something that should ve forcefully conveyed! Its about self realisation! I am a very religious person but i dont think everyone has to completely follow each and everything thats there in a book or anything! God is real to me its a source of energy that drives the world! God doesnt want people to follow rules and regulations he wants people to be kind and i dont even know if its a he or a she! just dont harm others and do your duties well without causing harm to any! These rules and regulations! they are man made! no higher power has ever told anybody to do that! these holy books were initially created to make people aware of what is good and what is bad! but over the years it has become something else! Simply because people who handles these books dont really know what they actually convey! its not about increasing the number if believers forcefully! its about bringing peace to humanity! thats what these books are for!
@@poornimav7834 i don't need an archaic book of myths to tell me how to live peacefully and morally.
i'm certainly not taking advice from one that instructs you how to abort a child if your wife cheated on you, how to deal with her afterwards, and how much you can beat your slave.
4 years late and this isn't going to get read but I love your music!
these guys are actually hilarious. they deserve a lot more subs
Literally every private school/university “you don’t fit a single requirement and can’t afford to pay the fees”
Kid “I’m good at X sport”
Schools “welcome here’s your scholarship”
Lmao
"I'm good at rugby"
"here is a large donation to the collection plate" would have worked too.
To be fair, there is some resistance there. Radix malorum est cupiditas. But show some Rugby - you are *in*.
As a guy guy in a Catholic rugby school, I never understood something more.
a guy guy? what?
@@AbysmalGaming i'm guessing he may mean gay? Or he just repeated the Word twice.
😂"Mecca's that way for God's sake!" So much confusion lol
"the one for hippies and deranged kids of diplomats !". As a Catholic I thought this was pretty funny too, lol, well done lads, got the right balance there :-P
Hello! I am from turkey and I like your videos a lot. I have recently discovered you. These days I feel much more alienated and left out. Your friendship makes me want to be a part of a group where I can be having fun just like you guys. Sorry for this exposition. I dont mean to come across as freak. Anyway I hope I could meet you some day.
Are you an author?
Foil Arms and Hog Oh I am not an author :)
Şimdi nasılsın
@@shafinrahman2199 Erdoğan is a common surname here, consider it like Lee among Chinese people
@@Asd-td4mk
No wonder he wins so many elections. Even if he gets only half his family to support him, they can pretty much bring in the majority of the country, no?
Still makes me giggle! I love Foil's facial expressions and reactions!
This is the first Foil Arms and Hog video I saw quite by chance.
You guys are great.
was that a Sister Act joke?? :D
Well spotted!
Where?
The great singing nun who was in witness protection, it's the plot of Sister Act pretty much
BenMark235 thanks.
"always use protection, sure you know it yourself" crying with laughter
The most accurate insight in to Irish life
I liked the outro, where Arms abruptly remembered he was tall.
Love you lads! Moved over to Ireland when I was seven from the heathen land of England and the local primary School, as Catholic as they come, invited me with open arms and so did my Catholic secondary School. And I hadn't an inch of religion in my blood. So I can't relate to this. I'm lucky to have been brought up with Irishness all around me. 💚💚💚💚
so real 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fair play lads, great entertainers! Look forward to seeing ye live sometime. Not being so crude but still being witty and funny helps you spread your fanbase. look forward to the next video! Cheers.
Cheers Nathan!
ROFL on the ending, i was not expecting that at all
Cant believe how talented you guys are
I love the sound of school in the background.
Belmullet? You've made it now lads :-)
the Las Vegas of the mid West
But Las Vegas is in the hills of Donegal?
@@ronandubh4766 Too right it is
This sketch is world class comedy.. watched it several times, and loved it each time..
as a recovering catholic i found this to hit the nail on the head
What is a recovering catholic ?
@@isaz2425 some one who isn't one anymore
One thing I'll say about you Irish. With all the shit you went through to make Ireland free. You still kept your sense of humour. Great vids lads. Regards from australia
As a former Catholic, I loved this. Wish you guys would come to America!
It means he used to be a Catholic...
Gavin Mcguinness Then why would you question it?
Gavin Mcguinness Faith can change, or be lost.
I lost my faith a few years ago, I should know.
Gavin Mcguinness of course you can there is such as thing as free will unless your a fascist
Damien Brady Hail Stalin!
i love the sister act reference, the nun in the witness protection program lol
I love you guys, you are so brilliant and smart! You can talk about politics and religion without anyone get offended. Keep up the good work! Love from Indonesia
I love the thing Foil does after the bible bit - the pfpfpf hits just the right spot for me😂💛
This is my new favorite channel. Hilarious.
I finally got the Sister Act reference after like 100000 viewings
"Im good at rugby!" "OH WHAT DIDNT YOU SAY SO?!" I lost it 🤣🤣
In my area all the non religious parents have to send their kids ten miles away to the nearest secular school whilst the local religious school gets kids coming in from ten miles away too. Its hell for traffic morning and afternoon.
You guys are really great ! Always hyped when I see you've put up a new video ! And never disappointed !
I just rewatched it, and the subtle reverend (instead of father), made my day :)
Bwahaha, the same situation in Croatia. You should plan making a tour here.
LOVE Croatia - favourite place was Split
I mean, you can go to Mass on Saturday. Really convenient if there's a football game you don't want to miss.
"mecha's that way ciaran for gods sake" hahaha
I immediately pictured him praying to a Gundam when reading ur comment 😂
Nicely sums up the farcical situation that currently exists. Well done.
I know its just outregeous to teach kids to love themselves and each other!! Soceity is really in the shit!!
+James O'Riordan You don't need a religion to teach children to do that. And it's not just the lovey-dovey stuff they teach either. There's self loathing (original sin), raw fear (hell) lack of critical thinking (accept everything we tell you and don't question it) and if they happen to be gay then they can look forward to being described as 'intrinsically disordered' and treated like freaks. Not exactly child friendly stuff.
+Leroy Lang All I say is that the Catholic Church has been around a long time. I am guessing you are under 35? Anyway, I understand what you are saying. However, the Catholic Church has a lot of wisdom and understanding, which has been revealed to Her by God, and ultimately knows the Truth about life. Everything passes away(me, you,countries, Trump, money, power, prestige, pleasure),however the Church will never pass away. The Church has the answer to our beginning, our life, and our end! Courage do not be afraid to appraoch Jesus Christ!Peace be with you!
If you want to believe that then fair enough but a lot of us don't and we don't want it imposed on our kids.
Whos imposing anything on you and your kids? Set up your own schools, because the education system in Ireland has been so bad! At the end of the day, Ireland will become like America is now. Public schools and Catholic/ Private schools.
I'm good at Rugby 😁 😁 😁
Good man Darren
GENIUS!!! "I'M GOOD AT RUGBY" Had me in tears
I DIED AT MECCAS THAT WAY
That sure is a nice We Banjo 3 t-shirt you got there!
As if we needed any more evidence that you guys have great taste
"I'm good at rugby", "oh why didnt you just say so"
Lost it when he pointed out the direction of Mecca 😂😂😂😂😂
As a Muslim, I found this to be quite the laugh. It's funny😁
The tag at the end makes the sketch!
It seems that in just about any school, being good at sports helps a lot to get in!
In france, sports are not very important at school.
Being good at it would barely make any difference.
(you still get grades for sports and it counts for your general avarage grade, but it's not more important than other subjects like math, history, french, foreign languages, ... )
@@isaz2425 The United States is the exact opposite. They don't grade you for sports. But being good at the right sport helps you get into prestigious universities. So they help you get into the university that you want, but not out of it.
The background noise is terrifying. Well done.
Very witty indeed , I like it .
I know typical Irish wittiness, they really hit the nail on the head there, didn't they? They should do a video next where one of the guys sticks a toothbrush up the arse of the other, that'd be hilarious!!
Kinky
We told you that idea in confidence!
FANTASTIC SKETCH ♥️ And how I love the quirky outros: Eh-doomdahhh-pah! Ching! Aggh!
Schools MUST be secular. Period
Secular schools very quickly get subverted by that awful SJW religion.
Look at Starbucks "Race together" for an example of a devout follower of said religion does
czcams.com/video/JMRtndjBQgg/video.html
czcams.com/video/qxunoh82KQg/video.html
It IS a religious movement but secular institutions are so poorly inoculated infection rates are at 98% in some places
Null Void You are serious, aren’t you? Hilarious.
God has _no_ place within these walls just like facts have no place within organised religion!
I went to both a Catholic elementary school and a Catholic highschool.
Great schools, they rarely did anything remotely religious, except at highschool we had a thing on Eastern and at Christmas, that we actually had to go to church.
In the part of The Netherlands where I attended both schools, the Catholic faith was kind of an underdog so they welcomed anyone willing to sign up with them. In highschool we had a religion class but they talked about every religion on the planet *except* the Catholic faith.
Now I'm glad my parents didn't sign me up for a Protestant school because in that same part of the country, these schools were like
*PURITAN NIGHTMARE SHOCK HORROR*
During breaks and lunch, students attending the Protestant school didn't even had seats or tables, they just 'hung around' while the teachers did have their private break rooms with desk, comfy chairs etc. etc.
We found out that our Catholic school did have a break room for teachers (also for the other staff) but it didn't say "Teachers Only" so we crashed the room a few times, got ourselves a coffee from the superior machines, a big step up from the bog standard coffee machines we usually used (which also dispense tomato soup and tea but every beverage you got from those machines had a disctinct 'tomato soup' smell/taste). After a while, we decided not to bother our great teachers anymore so kept away from the "Personnel Room" as it was officially called.
Never got even a remark about that time we 'crashed' the room though.
@Dipak Dasgupta Nah, dat is afhankelijk van wat de meerderheid voor geloof aanhangt.
Als je in een overwegend katholiek deel van het land woont, is het precies tegenovergesteld.
Took me a couple viewings to catch the Sister Act and Dan Brown references
I'm sorry "Mecca's that way!" killed me
This is hilarious.
Funny thing is that atheist know a good bit more about religion than most theists.
He really, really didn't, that was the whole joke.
thisisanalt I know. It’s not very realistic.
@@myopenmind527 But of course that being an atheist also means that you have profound knowledge of religion. It's not like there are atheists who never open a religious book or they don't really care about it.
Player 10 none that I know of.
Juan Pablo Andueza 😂
Got to the end and thought "Oh, so just like most of North America, then."
I watch your every video even knowing I wouldn't always understand all the humour just to see your final 'DUNNNAA' or whatever it is.
All the best from St.Petersburg.
Doom dah
Here in America,
If you can play Football, Track, And yes non Catholic, you to can become part of The school.
The last line saved it! So true
“Mecca’s that way!” Absolutely hilarious! 😀❤️
Me and my dad when we visit my mom's side of the family
i love the fahyu also known as the Foil Arms and Hog youtube universe
He sitting there soaking wet!😂
Looking forward to your show in Glasgow, can't wait!
Me too, love it, always great craic
Lol 😂 I am Catholic and this made me roar out loud!! You guys are hilarious 😂
I literally just went back and watch3d all your videos ever can't wait for the next upload 💖💖👍🇮🇪🇮🇪
I laughed the whole way through this
" -You're divorced ? - Oh, God no we never married !"
Hahaha !
Yesss!!! That Sister Act reference!!
Great Video! Excited for London Town!
These lads would make a very handsome cast for the new episodes of Father Ted 😎
Its just Dougal and Mrs Doyale babysitting the lava spewing hole in the floor that can only be satiated with "DRINK"
@@nullvoid564 and she feeds it tea.
Null Void 🤣
WhatAWorld 🤣
@@themaggattack
*House shaking*
DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK
Mrs Doyale: Cup of tea?
DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK
*Items break and shaking intensifies*
Dougal: ah yeah im sure hed love some especially since we used the last of the whiskey
*House explodes*
There is a Road in Dublin where Religious Freedom is Practiced every weekend, Starting on Friday through to Sunday.
On this Particular road there is a Synagogue, Mosque, Church of latter day saints, Church of Ireland, Catholic Church,
🇮🇪🇪🇺
shitttttt late for school
I've only just got the baptized bit ...ooh maybe 10..or 11 minutes ago 🤣 brilliant.
Mecca’s that way 😂😂😂😂
The last quote killed it 😂