DWIGHT'S BEST QUOTES - The Office US
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- čas přidán 27. 09. 2019
- Where would Dunder Mifflin be without the ever-loyal, bear-loving Dwight K. Schrute?
“Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?”
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#TheOfficeUS #Dwight #nbc #funny - Zábava
*Dwight:* "identity theft isn't a joke Jim"
*also Dwight:* "i got a wig for everybody in the office"
Well he was dead serious, wasn't he?
You never know when you have to bear a passing resemblence
That was for emergencies
Yes I browse office memes too
Passing resemblance isn't identity theft. It's just... in case something happens
Don’t let this distract you from the fact that Toby made a good joke then awkwardly touched pams leg and moved to costa rica
Soulzzy Edits hi
I think the account above me is Michael Scott’s
@@Scoot694 so damn true
pablo amador eww do you even realize what you’re saying?
@@willk844 yes toby is a deviant pervert
*"Jim couldn't land me in 1,000 years,"*
"But you're saying there's a chance?"
*"Shut up,"*
you look cute dwight..thanks girl
@@razkable More accurate version
Jim: You look cute Dwight
Dwight: Shut up nerd
@@keirstynkat it's the actual quote..
@@jamesenglish3031 yeah i realized that lol
@@keirstynkatum yea i heard that part, didn't need you to type it out. Quit that npc stuff
dwight: ”identity theft isn't a joke jim”
also dwight: **pretends to be pam to attack jim and says he has a wig for everyone in the office**
Its in the later seasons They are inconsistent and not really good.
@@mr.x4001 literally in the same episode he impersonated Jim
2shae atara
In his defense it wasn't a joke when he impersonated Pam... it was retribution
Youre a fkn genius
“‘don’t be an idiot’ changed my life” - Dwight K. Schrute
Dan lol
Read that as soon as it came on
Alex A LMAO SAME
“In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!” - Dwight K. Fart Schrute (security threat, armed, deranged and dangerous, use your own judgement force and deduction skills where it aplies and is thus necessary for the situation at hand)
I relate
"Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years"
"So you're saying there's a chance?"
Dwight: Shut Up
I love Sobotka's smile when Jim says that
rogopops Frank sobatka? 😂😂 The union leader from the wire. Same actor, different role lol
Is there though?
So it's in 1001th year.
Dwight's best quote:
"Bears
Beets
Battlestar Galactica!"
@@ivyparham1861 False.
@@KeanuOR black bear
Identity theft is a crime.
Favorite quote EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Keanu R no Jim actually says that🙂
“It’s better to be hurt by a person you know on accident than by a stranger on purpose”
-Dwight K. Shrute
I still agree with this
Deep 🙂
Changed my life
Can seriously anyone disagree tho?
Whoa mind blowing stuff
“i’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose..and a panther”
Lea “I am fast to give you a reference point”
Lea hahaha Dwight is a loser.
jk I love you dwight
Jim Halpert your not Jim... Jim’s not asian
@@twoprinces6735 "I am Jim. We've been working together for 9 years"
Props to you for noticing race
“When my mother was pregnant with me she did an ultrasound and found out that she was having twins. A few weeks later she did another ultrasound and found that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe that it’s tissue has only made me strong because now I have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.” -Dwight Fart Schrute (security threat)
Best damn quote in the history of television
This led to Ryan’s cousin Mufassa gettin trampled
I want to like but it’s 609, (69 if it didn’t have a 0)
I think people miss how dwight clearly wanted to make up a story that sounds like a plot of a sci fi film or book so people can be impressed by him...if you notice half way through the story he realized it would sound better if he made it as insane as possible and keeps adding to it he even looks towards the camera and his eyebrow slightly twitches after he says grown man and a little baby like see these gullible idiots will believe anything and hes basically being cool and making a farce out of the circle subtly indirectly and everyone else takes que and also want to make up a story because of how unbelievable of a story that was...now did dwight realize they all saw through his lies to follow his lead i'm not sure but hes clearly lying...come on now...michael is the only one who believed his ass
Asmosis Jones they best way to tell if someone is Lying is the the lire will try to cover his or her face, the lire will avoid eye contact, the lire will perspire.
@@razkable fuck ur boring...
"The best snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear."
Merry Christmas
My favorite episode
My personal favorite:
Bob Vance: *"Can I steal my wife?"*
Dwight: *"You cannot steal what is legally your property."*
Only quote you missed.
Michael: “Dwight, I need your undivided attention.”
Dwight: “You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.”
nothing better than pissed off annoyed anti establishment not committed to his work or boss dwight..thats when hes at his best...he can be cool badass and against authority
@@razkable ok boomer
Also the one with the 'fear'
What episode is that in
That’s not a quote
“My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life- different kind of fight.” 😭😂😂
Different kind of fight 🙆🏽♀️
Can’t believe you watched the video
999th like
That’s not your Instagram anymore smh
@@vibes-06 it’s steffanyyy.evonne now
"K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid. Great advice. Hurts me every time."
-D. K. S., a security threat
Dwight Fart* Shrute
“May I point out, the sex appeared to be consensual? Both animals were smiling.”
"Whoever drew this got it exactly right."
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Best quote ever!
Best character ever! I bet he really serious
Lmao
Best EVER
The writing and improv on this show is just pure genious
This channel will give us “Best of the Pizza by Alfredo delivery guy” before they give us “Best of Toby”
nobody cares abt toby
*worst of Toby
They tried giving us best of Toby but then they realized Toby has no best.
Making a strangler is like a best of Toby
Everyone hates Toby!
6:11 Michael: "... I know a ton of 14 year old girls that could kick his ass."
Jim: "You know a ton of 14 year old girls?"
Dwight: "What _belt_ are they?"
Kills me every time!
Dwight somehow manages to be dumbest and smartest guy at the office simultaneously
MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!
thats the best quote. so do a compilation
Patrick Dwight sucks
@@ieatpooalot and you r not asian
Patrick WYD
Patrick that would be boring. Just hearing Dwight about Michael over and over again? I’d hate watching that.
Dude he doesn’t even say it that much chill out
Best Quotes? Dwight makes me laugh whenever he speaks or doesn’t speak.
ArseneVids ha
ArseneVids Jim, inform Andy that I am shunning him
dwights the best loveable character 95% of the time but I think I love him most when hes reacting to people being unreasonable but also not mean to him specific especially when its written organically while at the same time they are still messing with him like when jim says you know justin bieber...dwight says who is justice beaver (all serious)? jim says hes a crime fighting beaver of course..lol....or when dwight asks everyone to come out to see a depressed stunt michael on the roof and stanley asks if its nice out which dwight says its a little chilly but its fine and stanley then asks will we need jackets as a little annoyed dwight gets cheerful and says no its actually really nice and then ryan smirks to the camera and says will a long sleeve T work and dwight now a little ticked off replies you'll be fine lets go..so adorable an hilarious....I like it when hes not the clear butt of the joke its just observational humor like how easy it is to mess with his child like wonderment
Yup...the whole time he showed up would be his best quotes.
@@razkable
There's so many layers on why I love this character so much, but one of them is the cute way he instantly distracted because of his seriousness. For example when Jim moved his desk to the toilet...he got angry at first, but when his phone rings he immediately picked it up and answer Jim's menial question with his typical half-bossy-half-helpful-because-I'm-so- important aura. Or how he instantly focused on putting in Jim's coins into the vending machine when Jim clearly just pranking him by putting his stuff inside the machine... He rarely hold a deep grudge I think, but when he does...beware! So yes, of course I agree that his child-like wonderment is what makes him so adorable...
“R is one of the most menacing sounds, that’s why they call it muRdeR and not MUKDUK”
You missed one
Michael: "Dwight, what is your middle name?"
Dwight: "Danger"
Well that's a word not a quote
@@anonymous_27374 it’s good nonetheless
*Badass*
"Can you imagine if I was deranged?"
This absolutely kills me so bad 😂😭
I was just about to post that😂😂😂💀💀💀
I would like, but it's at 420
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dwight's best line. 😂
I'm the lion, you are dead 😂
"I wish I could menstruate" My favorite Dwight quote.
😂🤣🤣 no you do not, dwight
He's the best character. The way he pranked Jim with the snowballs was better than every other prank Jim ever done.
Can we get a compilation of Dwight yelling “Michael!”
Edit: Holy crap, over a thousand likes
BLA5T3R Productions XD DO IT LETS EMBARRASS HIM
wow great idea! Nobody’s asked for that before!
David Van Horn shit I can read the sarcasm
🅢🅣🅕🅤
@@ieatpooalot smh, another account of acting like other people
"Ok, see you later Pan."
“...Pan?”
I feel like that wasn’t in the script either😂
@@tabletop2050 she obviously quoted pam lol
Michael: I know a lot of 14yr old girls.
*Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.*
7:39 is always my favorite scene
Especially Kevin's *"heyy"*
Can't believe this one didn't make it: "I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life"
Also - "Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you."
The waiter telling him that tips are expected
Dwight: well, expect to be shocked.
This isn't even a stopwatch, its a digital thermometer.
Cool
6:47 The smile on Stanley's face when Michael gets punched is a thing of beauty
Dwight Schrute: Question, what quote by me was the best?
This channel: I don’t know, uhh, the one where you say “Smoking is going to save lives.”
Dwight Shcrute: False, the correct answer was, all of them.
Michael Scott: “Well that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of Fourteen Year old girls who can kick his ass”
Jim: “You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?”
what belt are they??
Well to be fair, he is littlekidlover. We all know what his priorities are.
6:13
1k like less go
The "Mr. A. Knife" scene is so underrated
“Do I want to harm Michael? The one man I was hired to protect?” Here’s a dude who got his job description totally wrong :)
The snowball fight between Jim and Dwight was epic. And I was cheering for Dwight.
"Don't Be An Idiot"
Changed my life
''Whenever I am about to do something, I ask myself 'Would an idiot do this?', and if so, I do not do that thing. ''
IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!!
Jim: MICHAEL!
Dwight: Oh, that's funn- *MICHAEL*
I have a wig for everyone in the office
Finally some got the actual quote right!
Alex’s Reviews yeee
I feel stupid for asking but is the punchline of the joke that families don’t really experience identity theft or is there something I’m missing?
“Pamela beesly Halbert is my best friend”- Dwight Kurt Schrute❤️
Best quote ever❤️💜
I wish I was a Halbert
“My father fought blood pressure and obesity all his life” Different battle -Dwight K. Shrute
" Jim couldnt land me in a thousand years" " So your saying theres a chance "
Raid American “shut up””
Let's spam with *"Dwight screaming MICHAAEEEL compilation"*
Agreed
Agreed
Agreed
No
1:42 I love how Kevin closes the door on Jim and leaves him out to suffer
I love how Stanley smiles after Dwight punches Michael. 😁
Dwight shouting Michael!!
Let’s embarrass him
@@ieatpooalot yes
Nah man I tried to make one, but like it only happened a few times....
"Goat on chicken, chicken on goat, couple of chickens doing a goat and group of pigs watching!" Dwight is on another level 🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely one of the greatest characters in human written history. Perfectly nailed in every appearance.
@6:58
""I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp"...Brilliant.
Concussion Dwight: WHeRe aRE wE goInG?
Jim: Chuck E. Cheese
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? I’m so sick of Chuck E. Cheese!
Reason for visit: "Bringing someone to the hospital"
Love your profile 😂
"Blood alone moves the wheels of history!!" -Dwight Schrute
Together we prevail!!
"Blood alone moves the wheels of history" - Benito Mussolini - Dwight Schrute
Sujoy chakravarthi -Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
Ha! Perhaps another reason why he wishes to menstruate
jim always tries to make things awkward and i love it
I always want him to clarify who exactly the four exceptions are lmao
"insert every quote that Dwight did"
Best Dwight Quote:
“I break into Tiffany’s. Do I go for the vault? No. The Chandelier. It’s priceless....”
As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
2:55 Ahh, Dwight with a concussion is so cute
“Where’s the heart; the precious heart.”
"Better a hundred innocent men locked up than one guilty man roaming free."
-DKS
*Just shows how evil and sensible Dwight is.....*
ClOwN PaInT
No but honestly, that always makes me feel so bad for Phyllis. We’ve all been there
Nicky I haven’t
I haven't, I'm a dude but still
I haven't...maybe because I don't have a Dwight around me...or because I barely wear makeup...
I haven't. And I'm a clown.
The faces Dwight made when he had those wigs on was HILARIOUS LMAOOO
“Whenever I’m about to do something I think, would an idiot do that and if they would, I do not do that thing.”
Dwight: “I love hunting. I’m a master hunter.”
Nelly: “Did you say, masturbator?”
Dwight: “I’m a decent baiter. My cousin, Mose, that’s a master baiter”
It was packer who said masturbator
"There is no manual, only a survival guide!"
"If im dead you all have been dead for weeks"
WHERE ARE THESE QUOTES?!?!
Who is manuel
‘Going wherever my loyalty is valued the most’ does makes perfect sense
*To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose....and a panther*
Americans will use anything but the metric
That’s cause everywhere else sucks. We Texans have don’t use it either. Texas is the best and the US is the second best. Anywhere and everywhere else is kinda poopy. Texas is the best country. My favorite part is the education system.
To this day, Dwight’s ex-girlfriend is STILL cheating on him.
With a couple of guys actually so... mystery solved
Dwight would be the best employee, loyal, hard working and agile. Everything you need in a paper salesman
I love how he’s talking about loyalty so adamantly while dressed up as Palpatine 😂
Rainn with hair is something that I can't even accomplish. The luxurious curls ever so subtle. The beautiful stance and placement of his head is almost profoundly royal. The way the layers flock over one another and a leave a straight, silky smooth rich flavor that leaves me wanting to venture further. Hats off to you Rainn.
Me : Sadly there will be a time when this CZcams channel will run out of clips and content.
The Office channel : Boy have you lost your mind cause I'll help you find it!
This isn’t a “best quotes” this is just another best moments compilation.
I promise you you don’t have to put in the whole bit for context, we all know what’s going on.
Bring on the “MICHAEL!!!” Comp!
5:11 "couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching."
When you actually laugh out loud, not just typing LOL.
Hahaha
Dwight: “There’re too many people on this earth. We need a new plague”
2020:
“I ask would an idiot do that and if they would I do not do that thing”
Would an idiot drink water to survive?
I read your comment as he said it
It took him about 29 seconds for one lap, in case you were wondering
My favorite quote nobody else seems to remember is when Dwight was showing off his homemade bug spray or something and was saying “do you really think they’d allow that much deet” I can barely remember it but it’s one of my favorites
The subtlety of Dwight getting a blowgun from the toilet and then using it is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in this entire series.
Last time I was this early, Kevin was still part of Scrantonicity one.
Her: “So how fast are you?”
Me: “I out ran a black pepper snake.”
Her: *INSERT PP HERE*
My Chemical Machine who is her?
@@kiavang7309 Dwight wearing a pam wig
Calix Lor your mom
Kryptes yes
@top.comment.god
i love those moments when they would show a friendship between pam and dwight
The ‘Mr. A. Knife’ gets me every time
8:39
this is cool and all buT WERE STILL WAITING FOR DWIGHT YELLING *"MICHAEL"* COMPILATION 😠😠
judith ! yeah embarrassing it must be for him
STOPPPPPP PLEASE CAN YALL STOP MENTIONING THIS IN EVERY FUCKING SINGLE V I D E O !
@@theinvisibleweirdo5951 NOOO CUZ THIS IS WHAT WE LIVE FORRRR
""K I S S, keep it simple stupid!-- Michael Scott."-- Dwight Shrute.
Great advice hurts my feelings everytime
"It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger... On purpose..." Wise words from a wise man lol
1:53 Identity theft is not a joke Dwight. Millions of family suffer every year!
dwight: chucachucachuca
jim: what are you doing
dwight: vietnam sounds
Definition Of Dwight Schrute: Superior
"Jesus Christ had a daughter, and the daughter was the Mona Lisa!"
17RaysPlays that's a trick quote that not many will get. Do you get it............
5:40 might have to be my yearbook quote
"Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years " Lmfao
4:25 Dwight, chill out man. why you gotta do her like that 😂 😂
Clown paint
I do not remember some of these
"Jim could not land me in a thousand years"
"So you telling me there is a chance"
Every line uttered by Dwight's character is both philosophical and hilarious.
Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.
“Growing up I performed my own circumcision” That is very impressive for a baby😂
*It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose*
I live by those words.
0:29 every kindergartener trying to impress their girlfriend or boyfriend😂
Dwight gritando “Miguel!”
Miguel? Acho que você quis dizer "Michael"