r/InsaneParents - The ONLY Girl 💔
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- čas přidán 15. 07. 2023
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#reddit #theclick #subreddit - Zábava
btw, the "virginity is a social construct" thing is true, Click. you gotta think about what they're saying there. it's not so much that the word has no meaning - it does. it's that the concept should have no meaning, because there should be no special value attached to the concept of having sex for the first time. it's saying it's not something that should have so much value to us given that it is, indeed, merely a social construct.
I completely agree, it's like a hymen could break from a variety of things.
Having sex for the first time should have an emotional significance, but harassing/traumatizing people for choosing to or not choosing to have sex and then somehow saying someone is worth more or less based on that consept is just weird and should not exist.
aye that is a good point - I was a bit confused by the post when I first read it but with the context in mind it is a lil odd
Cutting that part out as I don't think the in-video discussion made the topic justice
@@ruuuuroth4831this, I commented this just now 😅 and also, it may not be broken by sex
Exactly. I've never understood demoting someone for being a virgin, especially by choice. If I'm ever called a virgin, I'd consider it a compliment. I literally hate sex.
@@ruuuuroth4831the hymen doesn't really work like that, its a ring so there's already an opening. It can be torn during a variety of activities, including sex, but it doesn't always tear. And if it does tear, the damage will be repaired eventually.
The dad who compared the LGBT community to Nazis kind of proves why pride month is so important. The fact that there are plenty of people who react so violently to our community shows that we still have a lot of work we need to do to be viewed as human beings who deserve equal treatment.
If anything, the dad was being the Nazi in this situation, hating people for not being like him.
Not to mention Nazis literally slaughtered us by the thousands.
And does that father not know where the pink triangle originated? Before it was reclaimed, it was the symbol the Nazis forced LGBTQ+ people to wear.
I think that you can make a closer comparison with nazis to the people who are killing those in the LGBT+ community, than those celebrating pride month. Scratch that, I KNOW you can make a closer comparison.
It also doesn't help that people tend to look for the bad apples in our community just to make an excuse that us lgbt are "horrible monsters" I'm glad I have a family that is ok with me being pansexual and said if it's what I want then they fine with it (mind you I'm from a Christian family who love thy neighbor no matter what)
Your videos on r/InsaneParents were actually what made me realize that my parents were abusive, terrible people and helped me make the decision to move out and break up contact with them. My mental health has improved insanely through these videos. You're doing gods work with how sweet, kind and supportive you've been on your channel, Click!
hey i'm proud of you for escaping your parents! it can be really hard
Congratulations on your journey! I hope it gets even better for you.
❤ I'm proud of you
i'm really proud of you! it takes huge amount of courage and i'm really glad to hear you're doing well!! (i'm in the process of cutting contact with my mother myself, one babystep at a time)
someone has realized just how bad their life is and improves it afterward :D
My mom keeps threatening separating me and my siblings too, for political reasons and me being transgender. Hearing "don't talk to my kids" "I don't want you corrupting my kids" is such a hurtful thing to hear. ESPECIALLY when for about 5 years of their most formative, she was not there. My siblings mean so much to me. No parent should decide on their children's relationships.
That’s disgusting! I wish you luck in maintaining your relationships with them.
Thank you so much! Since then my mom has blocked me on my sister's phone, but we still manage to contact each other, whether it's through Facebook messenger or even Wattpad dms. T-T Even though we're in different states and I'm away in college, our sibling bond is so strong. I couldn't be happier!
I have almost this exact thing with my step mom! I came outbas Transgender and she told me I had a disorder. In response (as well as a response to how she's always treated me) I finally told her and dad I didn't want to fly down and see them anymore, but that I wanted to stay in contact because I love still them and their kids. Step mom responded by unofficially disowning me and telling me I was treating them like they weren't family. The siblings were 4 and 3 at the time. I'm still in contact with dad's mom and I only hope the kids don't grow up thinking I abandoned them, which is what step mom made it sound like she was treating it as. I love them since I basically raised them whenever I visited (every summer and Christmas and/or Thanksgiving depending on the way). Your comment gives me so much hope to reconnect with them someday in the future.
@@SkyTheSnake Keep your chin up! The day will come ♡
They can't if they try to put you up for adoption (if your under 18) then they'll lose all their kids, or (if your above 18) she can't really force you to not talk to someone, there's a thing called the right of free speech
I remember being literally brought to tears at the age of 7 by a manipulative aunt. All I told her was that she laughs a lot, which was true, and it was one of my favourite things about her. I never meant it as an insult, but even if I HAD, her actions that followed was inexcusable. She told me that because I hurt her feelings she would never laugh or even smile ever again. I was a 7 year old autistic child, the thought of someone never ever being happy ever again and being responsible for it was nothing short of mental torture. I cried and cried for what felt like literal hours and she kept insisting that she would never laugh again and it would all be my fault. To make it even worse, tons of people were around and nobody thought to step in. It scarred me for life.
I am so sorry. That is the saddest thing ever. My little self feels bad for your little self
that must have been a horrible experience for a little kid,
i hope you cut contact with her, you didn't deserve that
What the actual fuck?
Damn
I am realy sorry for you
The "gay nazis" one: It's highly disturbing to me that a grown adult can't see the difference between being FORCED to wear sth singling you out as subhuman by a murderous regime, and DECIDING to wear a symbolic token of pride in your identity. This is so far out there, I can't even.
OP on that post should have taken his father's favourite ball team (or race car team etc) logo and made a swastika with it.
Also nazis killed people who they didn’t like, queer people were killed cause others didn’t like them. It’s all just so bizarre
@@bananasarebetterthanlifeitself It's so insanely disgusting!
The nazis prosecuted and killed queer people (hence I as a German am REALLY glad Germany lost the war. I literally could not survive under the Nazi regime) and the same people who compare pride symbolism to nazi propaganda are the ones responsible for the recent rise in public harassment and violent hate crime against queer people!
Freaking bigots!
him callin santa a communist was the first time ever in my life i cried laughing lmao. this man is a comedy gold mine
Oh, ao you think that kids that start transitioning at 3 years old are doing that by choice? That schools forcing kids to celebrate pride or else be expelled isn't forceful?
Face it, the movement is an authoritarian cult where scuffing up some street paint will have you go to jail for a hate crime.
Insane parents are temporary issue, Emotional Support Demon's support is forever :3
y e s
Yep
So true
Not always a temporary issue.
@@bumblebeeyellowdragon unfortunately
The mom essentially being like "You're right and I'm wrong, therefore you are disrespectful" is all too real. I hate how so many parents (mine included) think like that.
It's truly insane how emotionally immature adults who are responsible for raising actual children can be. Like, so many of these parents will throw tantrums, deflect, get defensive when they're found to be wrong, lie about others to play victim and then they expect their kid to have the emotional maturity of an adult (which they themselves lack). Not sure if it would fix anything, but I am 1000% on board for calling these kinds of parents out on it. It might not fix them (because entitled attitude), but it will tell the children they subject to this shit that it's actually NOT normal and not OK.
Literally the most infuriating thing 🤬
My relationship with my mom was so bad that, one time, she called me a liar and I snapped and said "yes, I am, and a very good one, wanna know why? To defend muself from you". She cried, and it was horrible for days. Eventually she started going to therapy and was able to confront her own traumas and how that reflected on her parenting. Right now our relationship is amazing, thank all the gods
I'm glad your mom got help and was able to reflect on her own behavior well enough to understand. Many people refuse to get even that far, so hats off to your former insane parent in recovery.
Sometimes that's what it takes. When I finally transitioned my dad was infuriated and we were fighting, and I told him that I've spent my whole life wishing I was dead and for the first time I wanted to live and felt like a human being. And that was the second time I've seen him cry in my life (the first time I was very little and my mom was super late home from work because something came up, but cell phones weren't really a thing yet and he was freaking out crying, thinking she was hurt somewhere.)
And after that ton of bricks dropped he suddenly realized that his little hangups and old fashioned ideas weren't so important as his own child's life and finally accepted me, and he's come around on all of the ideas he used to hang onto about people, he's become so aware and enlightened of how other people live and feel and doesn't get offended at other people being different anymore. He's like the opposite person that I grew up with in many ways, and all I had to do was be brutally honest, because if they actually love you, hearing that honesty will mean everything.
@@khaleesireyna731I'm glad she got help. Kudos for finding the right thing to say to trigger that.
My parents still refuse to go to therapy (my mom is more open to the idea but claims it is a money issue when they no longer pay for my therapy) but since I broke down and sent my sister a text explaining everything I was feeling and how it felt like our parents didn't care and favored her over me, she showed it to them and my parents have started communicating with me a lot more and actually trying to sit down with me and help me through my depression instead of just letting me deal with it on my own. They also finally talked about their potential childhood traumas with me so I could better understand why they did things. We’re just finally having the conversations we’ve been needing to have and it's great. Although they're still “heavily involved” as my therapist says, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Especially my dad. I used to be afraid of my dad and didn't feel like I could talk to him about stuff for fear of judgment but now it's become a lot easier and he’s showing me that he won't yell at me over the little things. He does have a naturally loud voice so it is a bit harder to tell when he is and isn't yelling.
That woman talking about her daughter's shoes was clearly just looking for sn excuse to take everything from her daughter
Yeah, because of the, "I never had anything, so you shouldn't either.....Even tho I'm trying to provide you a better life than I did" the mental gymnastics these parents have is bonkers
When the mother is old and week I hope they would do the same
Yes, 100% an abusive horror show.
That woman isn't nearing breaking point... she was likely already way past it before the daughter was even born.
@@abluerainbow my favorite mental gymnastics is how parents love to tell children how hard they worked to give them a better childhood (and future) than they themselves had and in the same breath complain that the kids are so spoiled because their life is better than what they had! 😂😂😂
Like, you can't claim to be a loving parent who only wants the best for their child and at the same time berate your child for not understanding what the misery you suffered in your childhood and did your best to avoid for your child was like! That makes no sense, how is that not obvious?
Some people just can never be content, I guess. Even when they reached their life goal. 🤷♂️
It's also often used as a debate stopper when the child's behavior has nothing to do with being ungrateful, rather the parent is just looking for some justification not to deal with the child's wishes/needs.
Either way you just can't take it seriously (but they of course they expect you to) 💁♂️
I will never understand how much parents overuse the word "disrespect." They take anything their child does or says as "disrespect". Even my mom overuses it
Some parents use this term so much they start to sound like a movie villain. It would be hilarious if it weren't tragic.
When they say disrespect what the mean is "how dare you hurt my ego by pointing out my bs logic!"
@@epsilonarcaneresearch1945 That's definitely my mom
my mom does this a bit too, and she's a hecking social worker
If I have a different opinion to my mom I am being disrespectful
The "emotional incest" dynamic seems all too common in wedding mother in law stories, especially when they wear a wedding dress to their son's wedding
I had a friend who wasn't allowed to have a bedroom door, just so the parents could know what they was doing at any given time. Oh yeah, he also had to leave the bathroom door open when he went for a shit, never did get an explaination for that one... The day he moved out of his parents house, the parents called the cops and claimed he was running away.. The guy was 23 and had a job (so he went to work every day) and had just got his own flat (apartment to the american folks) The cops arrived, the mom made some big song and dance about her baby running away.. Then the cops spoke to my mate, who explained what was actually going on. The cop asked him if he wanted to laod all his stuff (was just clothes, some cd's and his pc) into the trunk of the cop car, they would give him a lift to his flat. The moms face was priceless, i swear she nearly had a heart attack.
The Click has ruined me for British accents because as soon as I read, "flat" I started reading this in his horrible British accent. 😂 Seriously though, it sounds like your friend got out of a terrible situation and I hope he's doing well now.
That’s awesome!!
W cops to be honest.
Perfection 👌
daaamn. i hate that people always forget that lgbtq people were targeted and killed in the holocaust. i feel like screaming it from the rooftops. if i hear one more person say 'lgbt are not and have never been persecuted or enslaved uwu' imma LOSE IT omg
To be fair, he is right that the same kind of stuff is happening today...perpetrated by the people he's listening to and against the people he's accusing (amongst the other usual minority targets of course.)
And after the holocaust they continued to be imprisoned for being gay 🙃
Also, conversion therapy? That doesn't target and harm LGTB people? Doesn't it hurt that we, today, still have camps that are purely to force queer kids to "give up" their identity?
Basically, LGBTQ folk are still very much being harmed, lol and those who ignore it are ignorant 🙄
(this is just an add on to the og comment, I'm not trying to say that the og comment was wrong)
@@w.reidripley1968 idk what this means but its not funny!
@@boots1622fan You "don't know what this means . . ."
Dear God, Boots. You are wholly beyond belief.
History is NOT difficult, nor is it a closed book.
Become wise.
Honestly, if you want to troll people who get mad over pronouns, just use the wrong pronouns for them and when they protest look them dead in the eye and say "I'm so sick of this pronoun garbage and am very disappointed that you would bring it up."
yep Imma start misgendering people who refuse to acknowledge my correct pronouns. Two can play at this game, and I've got more practice.
BOOM. I'm using that tip. Perfect! Great idea!
That is the most big brain thing I have heard in my entire life.
By the way I think you dropped this 👑
Omg I'm using this tysm
For real though, “I am so sick of this pronouns garbage and am very disappointed you would bring it up” sounds like something an Oblivion NPC would say!
My mother was just like these narcissistic parents from Insane Parents. When I was 14, she put me on a diet, even though the doc told her that I was healthy and normal for my age and height. I ended up in the hospital sick AF and she told the docs that all she knew was I hadn't been eating right lately, etc. I was so severely dehydrated that the doc couldn't get an IV in my arm, so it was put in the top of my foot. That was just one of the MANY things this woman did, not to mention the mental and emotional abuse.
I am so sorry this happenened to you. I hope you could get away from that awful person
As a German myself I always find it entertaining but also insanely sobering how some people (mostly outside Europe) use the the term Nazi to describe practically anything/anyone they do not like. They never have a good grasp on what a Nazi actually is and the history behind the term. Rough understanding maybe but that's where it stops. Being just around 30 years old doesn't connect me closely to the history anymore but my peers and I still have a basic respect for it and you don't just use the term interchangeably for any other slur.
On that note, Nazis threw anyone who did not fit their bill into camps back in the day. That included political opponents, disabled people, people with different sexual orientations and of course people of different religious believes. Nobody was really save but they had it out for the Jewish people specifically because they were painted as the Feindbild (enemy) that people could just push all of the negativity on.
It's gross how often people misappropriated the term nazi, but everything I've learned about Germany (would love to see it someday, too), Germans don't f around with it and yall took the message of "never again" to heart and work to make that happen. It's something I wish Americans would grasp, especially. For so many people here, it's just some spooky story about those evil inhuman nazis who killed people, but the lead up to it and how nazis were in fact humans doing horrible things to other humans goes completely ignored... almost willfully.
Bread
You should look into toxic boy moms. They’re moms who raise their sons to be the type of partner they want and also show clear favoritism between their son and their daughters. It’s really creepy and weird
That sounds maybe even creepier than those deranged father-and-daughter proms/balls where the father puts a ring on the daughter and the daughter pledges to remain chaste until marriage and then they dance together and pose for photos in a way that's eerily reminiscent of how fresh couples traditionally danced and posed. 🤢
Tbh, overly protective fathers (patriarchs), you know the kind who wouldn't let their daughter meet with her love before they got to know hom and approve of him, those guys always gave off an (emotionally) incesty vibe to me.
Ooh, look up Annamarie Forcino's "Hey, Let's Not Kiss Our Family" series. And yes--unfortunately, there are enough of them to where I could say the word "SERIES" in that sentence!
YAY!
(Sorry, these insane parents have broken my freaking brain and murdered my spirit. I don't know how to not be sarcastic right now.)
@@LRM12o8Oh, I think that vibe is more than just emotional.
@@LRM12o8most definitely, and they use terms that people try to claim are innocent but are clearly possessive. "You'll always be my girl, right?" No, F off, she's supposed to grow up and be her own woman, she's no one else's.
@@LRM12o8They are not protective, they are posessive.
24:53 I do hope that the OP took these screenshots and sent them to whichever parent this aunt is the sibling of. Including the -offer- the _repayment for_ what was actually _a gift._ Because if any sibling of _my_ parents had pulled something like this, _my entire extended family would hear about it,_ and that aunt would be raked over the coals for it.
Just saying this helped me with my private family issues, thanks!
@@UpClear13You're very welcome!
The Aunt Julie one sounds almost exactly like a text conversation I had with my sister before I stopped speaking to her. I was super careful to be as level headed as possible and be kind to her and she accused me of being a bad parent and making veiled threats about CPS because I supposedly wouldn't get my kid help. Keep in mind this was all happening while I was driving him to a therapy appointment.
Privacy is literally a human right and these people act like human rights dont exsist period
They think that because they birthed/raised you, they own you. Then they get butthurt when you go low/no contact as an adult.
They don't accept privacy as a human right. They believe _their_ privacy in exactly when/ where/why they wish to practice it is a right. Certainly not equal to everyone and _every body._
These people absolutely do not see children as humans. Children are duties, responsibilities, servants, and things to boost the identity of the parent. The minute you remind them you are a human, you will get hurt.
Yet I'm pretty sure those hypocrites would throw a tantrum if someone were to deny them their human rights.
this is the inevitable evolution of the "theory of ownership" of family that has been so pervasive for so long. (being that men OWN their family like inanimate objects, and parents Own children similarly)
The 21 year old guy who's mother kept taking his stuff to "force" him to focus on school and work could actually take her to court for theft. Even your own parent cannot take your belongings if you are an adult. Found this out when I talked to police. Told me if my mom ever tried to do anything like that again, to call 911 immediately. The police actually recognized my mom's behavior as abusive. So glad I moved out and away from her.
im so happy you got out of that! I hope you've been doing well since you left.
@@Laced_With_Acid I have, turns out I had been gaining weight due to depression while living with my mother, and after getting out of there, I've lost almost 50lbs, from 275 to 225.
@@forgerofsouls9126 that's such good news to hear youre out of that environment. you deserve safety and privacy 🫶🫶
@@forgerofsouls9126 WOAH WHAT? WEIGHT GAIN CAN BE BECAUSE OF DEPRESSION FROM ABUSE? That makes so much sense! I can't wait to move out :")
My dad still does this and if I try to tell him don't, he said he'll kick me out
Yeah that mum who was being emotionally incestuous is insane. Its one thing to recognise that parents are adults who have feelings, etc, but the whole "you left me to be with *her* you cheater" vibes gives me the ick
The aunt one really fried my brain cells. Hun..no one put a weapon to your head and forced you to buy concert tickets..They didn't use you for shit.
I swear, this subreddit went from "Huh, my parents could be on here" to "Holy hell, I thought *I* had it bad" and that is good for me that my home life improved, but concerning for the mental health of my fellow internet peeps.
You're not alone
A bot stole your comment, by the way
Although i totally get it, all bad experiences are valid! Just because some people have it worse does not mean your feelings or experiences do not matter. This is visible even within the subreddit where you can find a wide range of terrible behavior. Bad parenting is bad parenting.
@@icanexplain5974 exactly, my mother was quite horrible so bad that my brother just became mommy's baby and abandoned actual personality just to avoid how she was treating me. And now he has like pretty bad trauma disorder.
/: my mom used to be like this, now she's mostly ok. But my sister became a crazy conspiracy person. You win some you lose some.
Fun Animal Fact: There's an abandoned minefield that has accidentally created a penguin sanctuary! The mines keep poachers out, but the penguins are too small to set them off! The mines were set on the Falkland Islands when Argentinian commandos occupied the territory in a 1982 conflict with British forces. Since then, Magellanic penguins have thrived in the area. And because the areas are well-marked and fenced off, no civilian has been injured by the mines, either.
Had to change that… accidentally did the same as last time 😂
At least until that one fat penguin sets them off
@@Lunar994 lol, nah, what they REALLY need to worry about is if a panda tries to infiltrate their ranks and try to be an undercover spy for the Chinese government… have you seen pandas? Do you know how clumsy those feckers are??? If their weight doesn’t set off the mines, them trying to unintentionally self-delete will 😂😂😂 but seriously, if we were to leave them on their own, they’d go extinct quicker than we were making them 😂😂😂
The mines on the Falkland islands were removed over the course of the last 10 years.
A note on gay nazis: I had a best friend for years who slowly but surely fell into just about every conspiracy theory she could. When I came out as queer she was iffy, and when I started questioning my gender, she got near catatonic. Cut to two years after I hopped the fence away from her and I'm hanging out with a person who used to be a mutual friend and who I hadn't seen in ages. I asked if they knew what she had been up to lately (they're trans too so I wanted to make sure she wasn't around them" and they asked if she finally came out as a lesbian. I then had to be like ",,,, no she's a nazi" and they went "o h" and that was that lmao
Ngl, watching all of clicks insane parents videos have helped me a lot. He gives a lot of sound advice (specifically that it's not worth dealing with these types of people), and he is genuinely a funny person doing so, even if he's talking on a hard topic. He's respectful, and is the type of person I strive to be. As someone that can't afford therapy right now, these videos are a second best. Just, thank you to the click.
Second that! Some creators only access this sort of content in an exploitative, voyeuristic spirit, but Click seems to genuinely be trying to make people with abusive parents aware that they are not alone, help them identify not-okay behaviors, and endorsing healthy boundaries?
As you note, sadly not everyone can afford professional help with these issues, so I really hope vids like this and Shaaba's AITA episodes help people who're still struggling to break free in that space! Especially with the mutual support & encouragement that happens in the comments sections, too.
I agree, they are very helpful. I can also recommend videos from the Cinema Therapy and Mended Light channels, these also taught me a lot and are generally wholesome
@@Zeroness0 Agreed! I'm really glad there are some creators out there providing wholesome input on these difficult topics, in a thoughtful way. Do hope it provides some positive support for individuals who're stuck in difficult relationships without access to counseling or good support networks...
Dirty shoes is a reason to isolate your child and take their life away? It's a trap. You just needed a reason to control your kid.
Honestly this subreddit reminds me that no matter how many times my family and I get into squabbles, it could always get so much worse.
I JUST COMMENTED TO YOU ABOUT HOW I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE☠️
Tried to explain to my mom I don’t like going to Church bc I’m Atheist- she literally responded with “You know what God calls us to do.” I’m trying not to laugh rn
@@Mister_WeirdCore_ Are you okay? Did she threaten you Or do something?
Same!!
@primeypriichi
They literally said they are laughing, how does that bring you to believe that they aren’t ok?
The face Click makes every time he remembers that he has a masters degree and he reads memes for a living will never not make me chuckle.
I have a master's and I'm working at an Amazon warehouse, so he's not alone! 😅
There are horrible camps parents send their children to that are like boot camp for kids. Paris Hilton went to one and talks about the horrible experience. They actually kidnapped her from her bedroom (her parents signed off on it). Breaks my heart how many there are and how many kids are subjected to that trauma
When I was 15, I was put in a psychiatric ward because I was actively trying to unalive myself.
The psychiatrists and behavioral health workers were very surprised (and some of them were very judgmental) that my mother wouldn’t look through my phone, my journals, or my drawers to make sure I wasn’t doing or writing anything untoward.
Coincidently my mother and I have a very strong and open relationship 5 years later.
that's not a co-incidence.
I love that your mother respected your privacy so much. I'm glad your still here, and I'm glad you have eachother. Take care.
Meanwhile, mine bought me a diary to write in, then read it and yelled at me for what I wrote. She also went through my drawers, bags and other belongings all the time and would interrogate me if I had a note from a friend.
We haven't talked in over 3 years.
Same here. The only thing my mom did was check my internet history and considering the kind of sites I visited (pro ana/sh) I don’t blame her. Even had the key to my bedroom door, her only “rule” was that I didn’t look it when I went to sleep, in case something happened which I think is reasonable since she only ever came in after knocking, or if I’d had a really shitty day/night and she was worried about finding me dead. She’s my best friend and I’d be dead without her.
With how you always see the horror stories about parents it’s nice to see some of the good ones for once and I hope both you and your mother have a great summer.
So Glad You two have a Strong relation ship knowing how some people's parents are. I have a Friend who's mother Threatened to Put them in a Mental hospital if they said anything about their *Demonitized* attempts. it sucks
As someone who works in tech support, it’s “nice” to see that my entitled customers treat their families the same way they treat me and my coworkers.
Whenever I have to deal with people like that, I remind myself that I only have to deal with them for a few minutes, and their families have to deal with them 24/7. Plus, I grew up with an entitled, complaining mother whose moods flipped from A to Z all the time, and most of these people are amateurs compared to her. Been there, done that, where’s my t shirt?
lol
@@CatMom-uw9jlyou deserve a medal idk what ur mom did but you deserve it either way
Oh they certainly do. My one grandma was a massive Karen. Like she'd demand that a server give her free food, and when they (obviously) refused she demanded the manager to demand the entire tables meals be comped and free dessert. Which obviously didn't work, like no, being refused free food does not entitle you to free food. On the ride home she berated all of us for not standing up for her.
@@waffles3629 I've got one of them too. They went to Turkey with me for a vaccation.
I was like 14 or 13 and I once corrected a merchant that the woman with me was my grandmother not my mum.
Boy she chewed my out for being honest. Like her fragile ego is my problem.
"you leave me all alone all scared" fuck,this is so relatable to me,my mom always insists that i go out but once i actually leave and go outside,usually to visit my sisters,shes always so "sad" about it. The fact that shes so afraid of her kids going away from her is so.. weird to me. Shouldve raised us better,mom. Actually,shouldve just raised us,not ignore us all your life :(
30:57 The school jacket was designed by the students (I paused to read the image) to include a small Pride flag on the left shoulder and our Aboriginal flag on the right.
Nobody forced anything it was literally the students themselves 😆
Also well done to my very southern neighbours in Melbourne!
As an australian this is so amazing lol
"if it were so easy, no reasonable person would hit their children." CONGRATS! YOU GOT IT! 😅
That really made me giggle, it's like r/accidentalally but different subject.
@@martam307 exactly!
I so wish for someone to just reply: "exactly [her name]: REASONABLE people don't hit their children!"
@@martam307r/accidentalgoodparenting
If I had an aunt or cousin call me a bitch after nothing like that aunt did, my family would DESCEND on them. Wtf? A grown adult calling a 20 year old a bitch for no reason? Disgusting.
Part of me suspects she apologized in the end because OP did show their mother or someone and that person did descend upon them.
@@prastarkeepersugh I hate how much sense that makes. I was hoping they had realized their bullshit on their own, but the conversation up to that point doesn't inspire confidence.
Hah... Uncle did similar to me shortly after my Dad died (Uncle took a text the wrong way when I kept asking him- the only person who was legally allowed to pick up my Dad's ashes- to let me know what was up with the delay at the morgue). Sad thing is this 60yo man has kicked up such a fit about it that he's somehow made me, a 27yo woman who lives far away from the rest of my family, somehow look like the villain.
Guess I don't have an Uncle anymore! 🙍
I can't even think of any good reason for an adult to call a twenty year old relative a bitch anyway...
Mine called me a bitch, a slut and a few colourful words in my native language because I stood against her to protect my step mom. Good times
My mom is very guilty of gaslighting. The most recent case of this is me asking to bleach my hair (it's very dark and I've tried and failed to dye it because it's too dark) she was very excited about the idea claiming it would make me more like my classmates. Planned this for months, I saved up the money to get it done at the hairdresser and two days before the appointment a family friend my age bleached her hair. My mom freaked out saying she always knew this was a bad idea and they she never trusted me/I'm just trying to copy family friend. She also used me getting my hair done as an excuse to be transphobic because "real trans men aren't girly like that and you're just a lot more feminine than *kid of her co-worker who is trans but in his 20's and able to hormonally transition*"
I’m really sorry that you are treated like this. But it’s good that you know what she’s actually doing. It’s not your fault.
It does not have to be like this forever.
Stay strong, you got this!!!
That story early in the video about OP opening a new bank account separate from their mom and moving their money over to it really resonates with me. I'd say my favorite detail is how the Mom immediately assumes that OP just spent all the money on something. The thought of OP having opened another bank account didn't even cross her mind. She has so little faith in her own child that she can only assume that OP is just being wildly irresponsible and blowing all of their savings money on something.
Absolutely insane parent.
I had to slap my hand on my mouth when I saw the lgbt swastika. I was laughing so hard I nearly spat my wine out.
And the, "does that mean Mickey Mouse is going around shanking minorities" part. I was wheezing so hard
@@FaerieLoki I snorted so hard lol. My mother’s gone to bed ill so I’m just hoping I didn’t disturb her (she wears earplugs to sleep. Should be fine.)
Ive seen It as a meme before but i cannot believe someone actually thought It was real lmao
omg that whole part had me and my friend laughing so hard guess santa is a gay nazi communist lmao
HE'S FUCKING INSANE????
HOW THE HELL DOES THAT MAN STILL WALK THE STREETS FREELY WITHOUT WANDERING INTO TRAFFIC????
Emotional incest: my mother got jealous every time my boyfriend brought me flowers, repeatedly demanded we break up because "you never spend time with me anymore!!" and would do everything she could to cut into our time together.
She also assumed we were sleeping together anytime we were alone for 5 minutes... we didn't lose our virginities to each other until we married.
Then we ended up staying with her while our home was being fixed and she would pound on the door whenever it was closed... we were NEWLYWEDS why do you think the door is closed???
That does sound creepy af
Just gross, I don’t know wtf is wrong with people like this.
Yeah my mom has never liked any of my girlfriends, to the point of trying to break us up. She never has encouraged me to be with anyone that she does approve, never talks about wanting grandkids at all, just really weird.
This helicopter parenting thing will never work. Going through your kids stuff creates good liars. That’s 100% true
I come from a separated family. I lived with my mom one week and my dad another week. My life was like that from age of 9 to 13.
My mom is a gentle parent. Not going through my stuff. Only going through my pockets before she does laundry.
My dad was the opposite. A strict helicopter dad who once didn’t even let me take my phone to school. He went through my stuff and even threw away a lot of my toys without asking me or forcing me to say yes.
Because of this I’m still very secretive and can hide stuff very well.
I never told anything to my dad because I knew that it was gonna create a fight.
Now that I have lived only with my mom like over 5 years, I’m finally coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine.
I tell my mom a lot about my stuff. When I turned eighteen I even told her how I drank alcohol and smoke and vaped. She didn’t like it but she was happy that I trusted to tell her.
I believe if I ever would have told my dad even when I was already 18, he would have made it about him and disrespecting him.
Ps. I don’t drink anymore and am slowly stopping smoking. I don’t vape anymore either. Only problem is the smoking cigarettes. (If you wanted to know ☠️☠️)
Speaking as a mother, I'm glad you're working on getting clean. People self-medicate for all sorts of very valid reasons, but those substances can really mess with your health.
This is actually really helpful. I’m currently 18 and had the misfortune of letting (read: having no choice in) my mom set up my bank account for the most part. Our household is physically and emotionally abusive and rn I’m trying to work with my sisters to gain some personal freedom. This has helped give me the courage to follow through on some plans
I’m an autistic 18 year old, and I got my own bank account just before my birthday. My mother has access to it, but fortunately, she is not financially abusive like some of the “mothers” in this video. She lets me know if she takes money out (she pays my bills for me, and will transfer money to other family member’s accounts from her own phone if mine isn’t on me so that I can pay them back if need be). I’m not great at stuff like this, so I’m thankful that she helps me with it. In some cases, like mine, joint bank accounts between child and parent are necessary and/or useful, but if you’re being taken advantage of, please don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself and ask for help. You aren’t weak or foolish for needing to do so. Just because a person may have raised you does not mean they are entitled to everything you own or other stuff in the same vein. You are an individual, you can make your own choices. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
I have the thing my mom but I still live my parents
@@jonathanhowells7864 I just cannot comprehend what this is supposed to be saying.
It's fone when you agreed to her overlooking your account and had the option to decline her help at any point and still do have the option to deny her the access going forward.
But helping someone with their bank account who can't take care of it on his own and controlling the bank account of your (adult) child, like the parents on r/insaneparents do are two very different things.
One is done with the person's consent and intended to help them, the other os done without consent and with the intent to abuse and/or extort them.
@@LRM12o8 yeah that’s what I mentioned at the end, dude.
The difference between 'I asked for this and the person is respectful' and 'I did not consent to this' makes all the difference in the world - in bank account oversight as in any other interaction.
Sad to say the crusty attitude towards lgbtq+ representation is quite prevalent in Australia. The number of 'mature aged' adults complaining about the inclusive signage on a single high school's optional item of uniform is bizarre. Kids don't have to wear it, parents don't have to buy it, kids don't have to be gay or Aboriginal to wear it, and nobody is being discriminated against because a high school added this option to it's uniform offering.
Some people just don't understand that adding another option doesn't take anything away.
Even though it's literally called an *addition* in English, like the exact opposite of subtraction... 🤦♂️😪
But it offends their right to believe i shouldn't exist... so that's fun
Oh ya, the same even applies in some Aussie “Official” workplaces, where they claim they have Anti-Discrimination policies, following the Government’s law ect; and yet all my Boomer Aged (Christian) coworkers did was complain and whinge about us “Shoving it down their throats” when we decided to decorate the lunchroom for IDAHOBIT… good thing they didn’t even want to touch the cake we brought in (homophobes/transphobes don’t deserve cake). Such a disappointment tbh, even considering how liberal Australia is/has been compared to most other countries, so I’ve heard
Hang in there. There are more functional people out there than nutty ones, or we wouldn't have a building left standing.
@@intercat4907that must be true, but sure doesn't feel that way.
The constantly invading your kid's privacy actually makes them better at lying is so true. I'm such a liar/not honest comunicator when it comes to my parents bc I go literal years before telling them stuff if I ever tell it to them. Like when my friend confessed to me I waited over 4 yrs before telling them bc they would have FLIPPED
2:29 there is a video out there of an interviewer telling the Beatles that people think their haircuts are un-American. The Beatles respond with “those people are very observant, because we aren’t American. “
I thought of that, too!
I was raised in a lot of weird emotional incest type stuff. My mom talked to me about hers and Dad's marriage problems like I was one of her "girlfriends" (as straight women joke about), starting from the time I was 12.
In my tween/early teen years, I think my dad realized my mom was really manipulative because he started refusing to listen to anything she had to say -- in fact he'd listen to me, the oldest child and "daughter" (I'm actually nonbinary), better than he would my mom.
Of course my mom then manipulated *me* to be her mouthpiece to hopefully get my dad to do what she wanted, but then she also got jealous of me because I was closer to my dad than she was...like wtf smh
And my dad would sometimes talk to me in a way/about more mature "life things" and family dynamics that I feel like he should've been talking about to my mom.
Growing up I was always in between not just my parents and my siblings, but also in between my parents' marriage. And I always felt like I was a "second parent" to my siblings (half parent, half sibling).
And for *further* context to explain things that also complicated my situation, my parents were both mentally/emotionally/psychologically and physically abusive (with my dad being more physically abusive and my mom being much more into the mind games aspect CLEARLY).
And my parents joined a Christian fundamentalist cult when I was 6, and that made them even more abusive.
My childhood was hell basically, is what I'm saying. Honestly, the first 24 years of my life were hell (I'm 26).
Edit: Because a lot of people have asked, last I heard, 3 of my siblings are still living with my parents and are in the cult. My sister recently married someone in the cult (he was actually my ex-husband's brother, and I got married at 19 and left him at 22), so she's still there but not with my parents.
My brother got out, burned all the bridges between the entire family and wants nothing to do with any of us anymore, and the feeling is mutual even on my end because we had a horrible relationship and I think its end is for the best. I hope he's doing well though, gets therapy, and finds peace.
I tried keeping in contact with my family, but had to cut contact in December 2021 because I just couldn't do it anymore. (When you are triggered into suicidal ideation after being reminded of them on a holiday, without ANY interaction with them whatsoever, yeah it's a toxic relationship.)
There was literally no benefit to me to keeping them in my life, and relationships are supposed to be mutual. If you're in a relationship that only and always makes you feel bad, it's not good for you, and you're not in a relationship, you're their punching bag. And you deserve better.
Hope you never have to deal with them again and hope your siblings are good and safe too
Sorry you had to deal with all that. I hope your life is more gentle, calm and that you find a lot of good things and all of the love you deserve. Also, agreeing with the other comment, i hope you and your siblings are safe. With love from a fellow nonbinary online
@@CouchFunny-he6tf last I checked, 3 of my siblings are still in the cult and are still living with my parents. My sister recently married someone in the cult (my ex-husband's brother no less, oh yeah I got married when I was 19 and left him at 22), she's living with him now I assume. One of my brothers got away, but he wants nothing to do with any of the family anymore, and frankly, the feeling is mutual.
I left the cult, my husband, my family, and moved away from the area 4 years ago. I tried to keep communication open with my family the first couple years on my own, but ultimately had to cut contact with my entire family in December 2021, I just couldn't do it anymore.
@@arielruby13 thank you. The difference in my life is like night and day, I have some really good/nontoxic best friends. I was in therapy off and on for 2 years which really helped (I need to get back into it).
My siblings are still in the cult, still with my parents, except one brother who got away and burned everything (no one wants anything to do with him anymore, myself included), and my sister got married to someone who is in the cult so she's still there, but not with my parents.
You don't live in alabama?
I don’t know why, but the post about the unreasonable aunt calling OP a “user” and saying they “used her” and continuing to just be the personification of a conversational brick wall really got under my skin and made me visibly angry. It’s like the damn wallet scene with Patrick and Man-Ray from SpongeBob.
She literally do be like that! 😂😂😂
It was almost as if they were having two completely different conversations! 😂
I had to pause that section several times to breathe 😅
I was confused she was even saying anything that made sense. Like not even acknowledging OP's statements. Wtf? 😂
She was 100% having a manic episode. When people get like that, it’s literally an alternate reality for them. Irrational doesn’t even cover it.
The apologizing after the fact makes it very clear to me that this is exactly what happened
I was a teen drug addict. I got clean at 18. I went to rehab and then worked a 12 step program. My councilor gave me a 4th step workbook the 4th step is when you put all the wrongs and embarrassing stuff on paper with the idea that it's often our guilt over these things that makes us use. I was working on it. My mother went onto my room and found my work book which said 4th step workbook on the cover. She read my 4th step then used the things in it to belittle me and embarrass me. I got upset and told her that is my 4th step. It's part of the program I'm working on to stay sober. She acted like she had no idea that was what it was. It said so on the cover and even gave instructions on how to do it. I was so upset I relapsed and had to start all over again. Clean for decades now thankfully.
32:10 Swasdicka.
Perfect, so perfect
I remember having a conversation with my late brother-in-law about the "benefits" of full grown adults hitting children. My opinion was, and still is, that the biggest thing children take away from the experience of being hit by an adult is this, if you're a grown-up, then it's ok to hit people who are smaller, weaker, and have little to no power. Let's hope that when these kids grow up, none of them carry that appalling notion into any romantic relationships, or into their possible future as a parent.
there’s a word for that:
✨ bullying ✨
a grown adult bullying a child is unacceptable.
When it comes to physical abuse (aka physical discipline), they are unfortunately quite likely to continue the chain of abuse. It's not easy to break ouf it, especially since children who have been raised that way struggle to have a constructive debate about rules, see the other person's side and either convince them with reason or make a compromise. Parents who hit their children don't do those things, hence the children lack an example of how that works.
I read “hitting on children” and was like EXCUSE ME.
@@nightlydrugs6927 that's called a miscue. When you think that something says something other than what it actually says. My favourite one that I've made is as follows. I was walking downtown in my hometown and I glanced at a sign by some angled parking spots, I stopped and looked again. I'd read it as Mothers Prohibited, and thought
What the F! Of course it actually said, Motorcycles Prohibited, lol.
There are only two acceptable was of physical violence. When you tell your kid to not do the thing because it will hurt them, but they do the thing anyway. The other is when a kid is being the worst and they get hit by another kid. Sometimes, they learn when their peers teach them that lesson. And it's very different from bullying. Everyone has met that one kid who needed an age appropriate smack.
I agree, ktting children makes no sense, talking it out is the way to do it. Children are intelligent beings and are still learning
That woman freaking out about a scuff on cheap tennis shoes triggered me, she’s talking about all the things she’s going to impose on this poor child and my heart just deflated at the thought of how that little girl feels when her mother rails at her, and she can’t understand why, or what to do to fix it. 😢
That entire post just reminded me of Ruby Franke (the mom from the now defunct 8 passengers channel). She just wanted any excuse to punish her child and honestly, i think parents like THAT should be given a taste of their own medicine.
I can’t imagine that poor child… As a kid I was not allowed personal possessions so when I was able to call something my own , it felt like i was a person. When you’re a child you don’t know any better and the person that supposed to live you punishes you for simply being a kid
The "emotional incest" mother reminds me sooooo much of my ex-boyfriend's mother. It was incredibly messed up.
13:30 this is literally the exact way my mum tries to reason
I'm 20. No mum, you DON'T need to search through my stuff to check if I left a candle burning
I’m not saying this in defense of the mum, but personally, I feel that a lit candle is a little more concerning than what’s going on in the video.
@@TheDMan2003 yes of course, that would actually be dangerous, but that happened like two times (years ago) and now she just uses it as an excuse to go through my stuff gehehjehd
The statement "virginity is a social construct" mostly refers to all the shit we believe surrounding virginity. Yes, you can be someone who's never had sex before, but that doesn't mean anything about you, your body, your future, your morals, etc. Which is where the social construct aspect comes in. The hyping of virginity is what they're talking about.
edit: Also there are people who believe you can return your virginity, like people who believe baptism makes you a virgin again or that you can "repair" the hymen or some crazy ass shit, so yeah. Most aspects of virginity are social constructs. The only thing that isn't is the strictest definition of "people who haven't had sex" - which in itself can be dependent on what exactly we're defining as "sex". Like, is someone still a virgin if they are a lesbian and does it with her girlfriend? Because a lot of people would say no. What about oral pleasure? Again, a lot of people would be like "depends" and/or "the receiver is but not the giver".
I heard someone say "if a broken hymen means you're no longer a virgin then a bike took my virginity when I was 7"
Also, someone else broke their hymen on their SECOND birth
I mean personally I want to preserve my virginity to go through the process for the first time with someone I love but that's not everyone's thing and it really shouldn't be a big deal if someone wants to do the deed. It's natural and there's nothing wrong with that. My bestfriend did it with someone random and I would never shame him that, he's my best friend and I love him to pieces. The whole "must be a virgin" thing is incredibly stupid to me. I have my own personal preference to wait but it's not something I think should be enforced. I think people should stop obsessing so much over virginity and just make the decision there that's right for them.
@@Juzokinnieyeah, it's fair if you want to keep the social construct, the msot important thing is to not impose it onto others, ya know?
I'm happy for you that you want to keep it and this is not trying to attack you :)
I hate that there's so many stupid social constructs around sex in general as if this thing wasn't highly complicated and full of insecurities already.
As a gay man who has ADHD and a heavy tendency to overthink and overanalyze, I often struggle to just enjoy sex without thinking about the socially imposed mores around it. Sex really didn't need to be made a moral issue*. 🙄
*(other than what's consent and when someone is able to give consent, of course. However the term "sex" to me already implies consent, which in turn implies that everyone involved is able - ie, old enough, sober enough, etc. - to give consent. I wouldn't call it sex if those criteria aren't met)
From my stand point as an aunt, it feels absolutely wild to me that you could act that way to your niece or nephew. I love my niece and nephews and spoil them to death. I couldn't picture going crazy like that on any of them. It's all so wild to me.
Same. And Im notorious for my “spoil & runs”; Ill take the kids, fill them with fun & candy for hours and return them hyper & crazy. Good times :)
@janemiettinen5176 my brothers have the title of uncle and I somehow am just Tasha. And when I'm around, they want nothing to do with anyone else. Not my sister, not my brother-in-law, not even my mom who they also really love. I'm their favorite person to play with because I actually play with them and do things they want and I spoil them haha.
@@janemiettinen5176 that sounds so awesome from a child's perspective. get picked up, have extreme fun, and have energy the rest of the day! i would've loved that as a kid.
I also find it crazy/disturbing that actually playing with children and listening to their whishes is considered "spoiling them" by so many people, that even those of us who recognize it as a good thing still use that term without a second thought
my family had a saying, "Choose your battles" it kinda means choose the things you are going to actually get upset and use energy towards.
It's official. I'm playing these videos to my kid when she tries the "you're a terrible parent" schtick when I ground her or hold her responsible as a teenager.
Aunt Julie wanted OP to be "indebted" to her because she got the gift OP wanted, so she could use OP later. But life threw a monkey wrench into the plan and Aunt Julie is mad that she lost that "indebted" angle and there forth decides OP did it on purpose. And does everything in her power to make that narrative the truth: but OP is not playing to her tune.
Best to cut Aunt Julie out and stonewall her since she's just going to use this as a way to manipulate into getting what she wants. OP shouldn't accept gifts from her anyone.
Honestly I think you're partially right, but also either Aunt Julie was drunk, or is bipolar as that is quite some 180 in attitude.
How can you be indebted for a gift that's been given to anyway? It ain't no gift it comes with any sort of debt!
People like aunt Julie need to be told to leave the the giftee (their victim) the F alone and stick their "gift" where the sun won't shine, as it is poisoned by their lies, jealousy and greed.
Those people ruin even the biggest favor with their toxic personality, they could literally save your life and afterwards would find a way to make you wish they had let you die instead!
@@SevCaswell I'm no expert in such things. I just know about the people who don't have such excuses.
@@LRM12o8 because in manipulative people's minds a gift is an exchange. They're wrong, but they think it anyway.
@@SevCaswellBi polar person here 👋
That’s not how it works, manic episodes and depressive episodes last for weeks, they don’t turn on and off, and bipolar people don’t appreciate our condition being used as the defacto explanation whenever someone acts like a piece of crap.
Manipulative people who want to control others get upset, sometimes intensely and vehemently upset, when their plans fall apart and they lose the upper hand.
If she intended to use having bought this nice gift as a tool against them in the future, but they repaid her and/or couldn’t use the tickets due to something outside of their control, then she’s lost her opportunity to manipulate this person in the future, and that is what the aunt is actually mad about.
I knew someone very much like this aunt, she was actually the aunt of a friend of mine.
Long story short I’d moved in with her son (as his roommate) and their cousin and the cousins GF wound up also moving in.
I said I wasn’t expecting to be paying this much to have 3 roommates, and that’s not what was first agreed upon - initially I was going to have 2 roommates and we’d each pay 1/3rd of rent, but now I had 3 roommates but was still paying 1/3rd the rent because it wasn’t being split 4 ways.
The aunt told me the couple needed a place they could afford because the GF was pregnant and they were trying to save money, but she would split the difference and cover 50$ of the 100$ less I should be paying if we split the rent in 1/4 - I took pity on the young couple and agreed.
I should have seen it coming because I’d hear her talking to her son and nephew saying
“I did --- for you, so until you make up for that I own your ass”.
Well anyway, one day she marches into my house, marches into MY ROOM, and starts demanding I move some of my furniture/possessions I’d put in the living room, including demanding that I take my books out of the house and put them in the shed in the backyard (of this house that I’m paying 1/3rd of the rent for, and am not renting from her but from the actual landlord).
I said no, and she had no right to come into my room, or to make demands of me in my house, to which she said
“As long as I’m paying for part of your -“
and I said
“Oh hold it right there then. That agreement is off, here’s the 50$ you kicked in towards my first months rent, I won’t be needing any of your help going forward.”
And she fucking looooooost it, she could not fathom not being able to manipulate/control someone, not have them under her thumb, in debt to her, and on her beck and call because of that, and afterwards she had such a major vendetta against me it was WILD.
That’s not a bipolar thing, that’s the behaviour of someone who wants to control/own others being denied the powertrip they’re thirsty for, and not being able to handle not having the upper hand.
It’s f*ckin’ crazy, but it’s not bipolar.
A lot of these things remind me of what my former father put us through when my mom finally decided to divorce. He refused to sign the papers for a very long time, posted how happy he was with his new woman (victim) only a month after the divorce, and later refused to pay alimony and conflated a text message with the divorce agreement, in other words threatened our financial safety and gasslighted my mom, to get photo albums that weren't even his. Yes, she sued his ass.
P.S. I don't contact him anymore, but I heard he got back on Facebook after several years never using it just to post about how "crazy" and "abusive" his ex is, and still complains about her to this day.
hope you and yor mom are okay. i know how bad it is when fathers acted like that because mine was the same as yours. Anyway, i hope you get to experience happiness and healing like we did. And that you can build a support network that loves you and cherishes you.
@@arielruby13 It's been a couple years since all that, and we're... erm, coping. It's not easy, since he was the sole financial provider for the family, but we're getting by.
I'm a neurodivergent adult and chose to live with my mother after she divorced my emotionally/verbally abusive father. I can't live on my own financially due to a number of issues. My dad was so angry about the divorce that he didn't want to pay whatever the adult version of child support is. My mom and I were barely able to scrape by, we lived extremely prudently and she eventually would've had to get a job, despite having some health issues. My dad was so angry that he was willing to screw up his daughter's live to 'get back at' my mother. It taught me an important lesson though; should I ever get married, I will have my funds separate so I won't be a potential victim of financial abuse.
@@TXRider If you have any doubts at all that your partner won't be 100% ready to split things fairly, ask them to sign a prenuptial agreement. Prenups exist specifically to protect your assets from being seized by your partner in the event of a divorce.
@@TXRider I might still get married one day, or at least have a dedicated partner. Still, this kind of thing takes a long time and a lot of work to heal. Educating yourself on what's often called "dark triad" personalities is a good starting point to understand that kind of abuse. As long as you're always fighting to heal, you'll be okay.
these videos always make me realize how grateful i am for the fact my parents are reasonable good people
Same
13:18 I definately did not listen to this part many times to remind myself that my "guardian" going through my stuff, taking my stuff, removing the door handles on my bathroom and bedroom, demanding all of my passwords and my credit card number, is not ok. It isnt ok right? its been happening since i was 7 along with being yelled at constantly i now have a phobia of people being behind me without me knowing and tend to always sit against a wall in order to see if anyone approaches. have a nice day!
That's definitely not ok and taking your credit card number without your enthusiastic consent is financial abuse, they sound like an asshole!
Insane Aunt must be the type that loves doing favors and giving gifts to others, because it will allow her to use it as leverage for emotional blackmail later. And now she's furious with OP because now she can't pull that tactic on them.
Auntie also wants the last word.......
I have an aunt like this. I stopped accepting her gifts and calls.
My parents used to hit me a lot as a kid, mostly my dad. I was a very emotional child, and when I told him my concerns recently, he said he thought my crying was manipulative. I was 5 years old with no other way to express my disappointment when he was upset with me. What was I supposed to do? Anyways, a conversation came up at dinner one night about how my dad doesn't like acronyms because he can't tell what they stand for. I brought up stuff I remembered from AP Psych (ASD, ADHD, PTSD, MDD, GAD, etc.), and he said the best cure was to get over yourself. Maybe even a nice spanking will do the trick. I calmly explained that studies show spankings make children more aggressive. My parents both pointed at me and said "But you're not aggressive," to which I responded "Because the spankings made me too scared to be aggressive," and I dropped the conversation. Next day, Dad and I are watching $100,000 Dollar Pyramid, and one of the clues was Miley Cyrus. Dad jokes about how Billy Ray Cyrus should have given her a good spank as a kid so she didn't end up so foolish now. I couldn't even argue because my words would fall on deaf ears. Even now that I've studied this stuff, he still won't listen. I don't want to treat my kids that way, and I agree with that flow chart 100%.
Wow, it's a shame that any kid would have to be stuck with this asshole. I hope you know that his actions only reflect on him , are able to financially support yourself and access mental help. If not, I hope those things come soon.
@@zhenia2511 Well, I graduated this year from high school and plan on working for a year so I can afford to live on campus when I go to college. I'll see what happens from there, but something tells me living on campus will help a lot. Thank you for your support.
Same. Fucking. Hat.
My parents were the same. They got a bit better over the years but, they still feel like they didn't do anything wrong.
@@Delilah_FieldsI know I'm a bit late, but as someone who grew up with a manipulative/controlling mom, becoming financially independent is so, SO important. Congratulations and I'm glad you will have the experience of living on your own in college! Having that space really makes a difference. Keep loving yourself and being your own best cheerleader. As the other commenter said, remember that abusive actions speak to the person committing them, not you.
I'm only replying to add some advice that really helped me heal and miraculously built an almost normal relationship with my mom. Advice I wish I'd known at a younger age. Idk if your parents would do this, but just in case it comes up.... Sometimes jerk parents will grab on tighter when they notice you are becoming more independent. When I moved to college, my mom used financial control to emotionally abuse me long distance. Get a degree or certification that will land you a steady, salaried job ASAP. From there you can move to other career fields if you want. I spent years trying to get by on hourly jobs but it's simply not enough to live on these days. Once I finally got a job where I didn't need anyone else's financial help, suddenly my mom started respecting my boundaries.
And how to set and maintain boundaries is important. I simply viewed it as classical conditioning. When that person does something nasty, you straight up tell them "when you do/say this, it hurts me. I will not interact with someone who does this". And as soon as they start arguing or doubling down, you leave. Plain and simple. People like that ENJOY the attention that arguing gives them. To them any attention is good. So simply remove it. Same as training a dog that jumps on you. As soon as they do the bad thing, remove the reward of attention/interaction. It works amazingly. But you HAVE to stay consistent and resist the urge to argue back. And it's a lot harder to pull this off when the other person can threaten you by refusing to help pay your rent 😅
Sorry to ramble, I'm just excited for you to start your next journey and I want you to know that things can get better. In fact, my mom is coming to stay at my house this weekend. After decades of a toxic relationship, we're finally at a healthy place where I actually look forward to spending time with her (I'm still working on my own resentment and trying to loosen up a bit, but hey it's progress!)
Wishing you love and happiness 💜💜
My dad did it once to me, and he’s like “hitting kids it wrong” (which yes it is)
BUT U DID IT TOO
That aunt has lost it. My brain literally lagged trying to understand what her problem was, or how it was a problem in the first place.
Hey Click, just wanted to drop in and say thanks for being who you are. You and one topic have been really helping me through these past few days with your wholesomeness. My mom’s been diagnosed with cancer and the two of you have been helping me. Keep my mood up and look forward to the next day. Keep up the good work my dude!
Lowkey want to start up a "boot camp for 13 year olds". I'll ask for a $200/week fee for each camper, whatever I can get to exploit these insane parents. And all we'd do is just hang out, watch movies, whatever.
Except then the cheap parents, (like shoe lady) aren't sending their kid off to you.
frame as if its a punishment for the kid.. They are willing to spend money to punish their kids, I bet.@@ellabennett6091
Fr this is an amazing idea
That reminds me of the story of the girl whose parents thought she was too tomboyish so they sent her to an all-girls summer camp to become more girlish. Kind of dream-come-true stuff for a closeted lesbian!
I would love to help
Insane Parents Dictionary
Disrespect: Being correct
Rude: Being correct
Feel free to replace these words for your own sanity 😀
I have an addition
Narcissistic: Setting boundaries
Me too
Know-it-all: Trying to gently ask for freedom/help.
33:00 i refuse to believe this is real now 😭
I mean I have family who acts like this so I believe it
at 23:52 : Minnetonka is a Native American name, the "Insane Aunt" is calling the OP an "indian giver" which is an incredibly racist way of saying that someone is likely to regift something you get them as a gift because they don't properly appreciate gifts
Well, until this video, i never knew my mom was emotional incest. It’s actually disturbing. My mom wonders why i keep myself isolated and cancel plans with my friends, she constantly checks up on me when I’m with my friends. She does this by constantly calling me, constantly asking how long ill be, and saying how much she misses me and how she can’t live without me. When i suggest a time to come back, she would rip into me and say that i care about my friends more than her, and then proceeds to bodyshame/say nasty things about them. I’m too scared to leave the house without a reason now..
@@moon-moth1 I appreciate your support and advice. I’ll try and talk it out with her, but, she tends to victimise herself and all. But, imma try either way! Also, i am trying to get therapy, i think I’m on the list. As for my age, I’m 18 years old. I’ve dealt with my mom’s toxicity and abuse since i was a young child. Her manipulation and controlling has led to me struggling to do things for myself such as getting a job, my own house. I hate admitting that, it makes me look weak and not wanting to change. It’s too difficult for me to do… i don’t understand how to. She has full control over me.
Kiddo, I strongly encourage you to seek out work and ultimately a new place, because you deserve your freedom from someone who's going to be that toxic. Start networking, ask your friends where you can find work, and see if your friends can let you couch surf to help you escape. Try to gather up your sensitive/identification info (Social Security, if in the US/Birth Certificate/etc) and not let your mom have access, anymore. And if you need to, seek legal action if she tries to withold your private info documents, because by most laws, you are an adult and those documents should be passed over to you.
Yup, I have the same thing with my dad's father, who is such an awful excuse of a man that grandfather is not an appropriate term and the term dad's father is being polite. I only realized like 2 or 3 months ago that he had been s*xually ab*sing me since I was 13 years old. I am now 17. Luckily I escaped last month. Living with him was hell and he refuses to take accountability. Through this video I learned that my dad's father is also emotionally inc*sty. He would get "jealous" when I was hanging out with other people, passive aggressively asking if I ever planned on coming home. I know how you feel. I hope you can break free soon if you haven't yet. It is worth the relief of escaping. It doesn't heal the wounds but escaping allows you to see the beauty in the world without being smothered. Nothing is better than the first sense of freedom.
@2xtoxicidixt101 DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT WITH HER UNTIL YOU ARE INDEPENDENT. Seriously do not, she sounds like she WILL RETALIATE. Do you have any relatives you could go stay with until you can save up enough while working to get your own place?
And also like the other commentators said: locate your birth certificate, social security card, and whatnot; And you aren’t weak, you’ve been forced to cope with and adapt to a hostile environment, that is strength. Now you are at an age where you can plan and execute your escape
I would hold off on talking to her until you have a safe exit strategy in place. Get your documents, if she won't give then to you, search for them when she won't be in the house, if you think it's safe to do so. Are there any relatives or authority figures in your life that you can trust? If so, talk to them and see if there's anyone that could help house you till you get on your feet. Any bank accounts of yours that she has access to need to be cleared of any money you have. Your 18, so you should be able to open a bank account that she doesn't know about or get prepaid bank card that can act as your bank account, the Green Dot ones in Walmart are considered bank accounts and you can transfer money or set one up for direct deposit when you find a job. I had to do my banking this way for several years because of bad checks a family member wrote in my name left me blacklisted from being able to open up a traditional bank account till I could get that mess cleared. Your safety, mentally, emotionally, financially and physically are the most important things. Iwould strongly advise against saying anything to your mother that might jeopardize yourself until you have documents and a plan for what to do if you need to just split. In cases of emotional in*estate and abuse, the abuser will try to manipulate you into staying under their control, either through retaliation, holding your documents hostage or threatening self harm if they feel their hold is slipping. It's easier said than done, but you must be prepared to push down any feelings of guilt she'll try to invoke. In some states, threatening self harm in order to manipulate someone is considered domestic abuse.
You're stronger than you realize. Just being able to think about getting out and seeking help makes you incredibly strong, being brave enough to face up to what's been done to you shows how much courage, strength and intelligence you have. You can do this, just make sure to move forward carefully to mitigate any further damage from your mother.
Fun Fact: The laws in Canada under the Consumer Protection Act make it illegal to put expiry dates on gift cards. Just another way in which Canada is great.
How are those mines your country owns that aren't even in Canada and use slave labour?
@@sovietbot6708 Okay grandpa you've had enough to drink.
@@bumblebeeyellowdragon oh. You're a minor. I don't argue with kids
@@sovietbot6708ok boomer
@@sovietbot6708 good, atleast people wont make as much fun of you
32:54 unfortunately this is sort of true financially.
The emotionally abusive aunt (Julie) must be my ex’s long lost and never-revealed sister. Thank Heavens I’ve been out of that relationship for nine years now. Except for the first few years of the 16 years the relationship lasted, he’d always gaslight me with every gift he gave me.
How our daughter came out of it as a fully functional, emotionally balanced individual is nothing short of a miracle. Probably because the relationship ended while she was still very young.
Videos like this one are immensely validating for both her and me. They also serve as a reminder never to get embroiled in something similar. Thank goodness we’re both in healthy relationships.
I believe the emotional incest appeared on another video a while back about a woman's concerns about her fiance and his mother, and that the incest won in the end. No matter how hard she tried that creepy "bond" couldn't be broken and she was thinking about (or had left in an update?) the marriage. It was an extremely creepy story.
Is that the one where FMIL tried to like... Hijack the wedding? Saying that she "wouldn't wear that on her wedding day, so OP shouldn't either"?
The idea of virginity is a construct to say that one is "pure" vs "unpure". Its not so much about physical aspects for many people
When I was about 12 I loved watching your videos. I would especially find comfort in watching the insane or toxic parents ones. Being in a toxic household at the time myself, it made me feel like I ethier wasn't alone, normal or that my situation wasn't that bad (in a comforting way). 4 years later, my household situation is soon improving- and I'm really glad I had found your channel when I did. You've done so much for my teenage years. I love your content and I want to say, thank you for what you do. You're doing great and I hope you have really good things coming your way. Genuinely dude, you're awesome.
Hey Click and fellow viewers. I just thought I would share my insane parent story thats actually occuring just this recently. When I was 12, I was attacked by a dog owned by a family down the street from where I lived. My best friend's parents were the owners, and thry tried to sue me and my family because I "trespassed" on their property even though my friend invited me over. There was a huge legal battle that lasted for about 5 years, and a verdict was established that I would get a very large settlement due to my trauma and medical costs, etc. However, the money was to be placed into an account at a certain company and not be touched until I turned 25 of age, or unless the court was petitioned to take out some amounts as long as it benefitted me. Now that I turned 25 back in June, I had to go through a process of figuring out the account number to gain access to it because my mother had the documents in a place that wasn't safe from floods and water damage. After figuring all that out, I called the company to ask them about access, and they told me that since my mother was the owner of the account, she had to be the one to make the changes. She was only the owner because I was a minor and couldn't have the funds myself. I let her know that she needed to change it, and after a while of waiting, she told me she didn't want to give me access to the account. She insisted that it was because she didn't want me to use it on a house that I didn't own or wasn't on the deed for (because it's my boyfriend's house that he bought with his own loan) and that she believed it was in my best interest if I just didn't use it. That is MY money that she is keeping away from me, and it can be used for so many things that would benefit me more in the future, but she isn't letting me have it even though it's rightfully mine. According to her, she's doing it because she cares about me and wants me to make good life choices. I also think that since my boyfriend is pushing me to get this money that's mine, she believes he's trying to claim it for himself, which is not the case. He could care less about the money I'm getting and just wants me to have what is supposed to be mine this whole time. (He even makes more money than me and wants me to save it all until we can build a house together that both of our names would be on, so I don't see an issue) anyway, I'm going to be taking legal action against the company that the account is under and force them to change it over since she isn't complying. In the court documents, it specifically states that at the age of 18 (when I turned an adult, so earlier than 25) all funds were to belong to me. She has no right to keep it from me, even though she says it's because she doesn't want me to lose it all on bad investments. She's treating me like a child, and I will not stand for it at all. Thank you for reading all of this.
Im not a law expert but there HAS to be something illegal about this
I agree with not spending your money on a house that your name isn't on the deeds to ... but the rest of it sounds like theft. I hope when you get access to the account that your money is actually still there. And if your bf is serious about you holding back your money until you get a place with both your names on it, he sounds like a keeper. Good luck!
oh what wholesome families, they all seem so loving, caring and sweet... oh no wait that's this community
Awe. I agree. I really appreciate our Cliccy community. 🥰
My mom learned the hard way to listen when I point out very specific drawers that she should not go through in my room while we're cleaning.
On another note, I have since learned how to better hide my naughty toys.
When I needed help finding something, my mom would open every drawer in my room without asking if it's okay for her to look there. She wouldn't pick up on it when stressed that it's "definitely not in *this* drawer" and flat out ignore it when I said "I don't want you to look in there".
One time I almost had to get physical to prevent her from opening _that_ drawer, but I guess my hysteric shouting did make it click in her head at the last moment.
She was also pretty bad at knocking at my door before opening it and coming in.
Never out of malice, mind you, she just didn't seem able to grasp the concept of privacy. I guess she wasn't used to it, having grown up with her mom and two sisters in a humble flat.
Well, even the best parents can't be perfect... 🤷♂️
33:07 because he gives away free stuff, like his Dutch brother Sinterklaas? Well, that's a new one for me.😳🤣🤣🤣🤣
My mom gets crazy about my hair. She thinks it has to be a certain length or it might look socially bad on her become my hair isn't a 'normal' length. I'm 26, pay for all of my hair care products and don't want a length considered normal. Last time she cut it, she screamed and yelled until I caved in. I cried really hard.
this subreddit inspires me to talk to my parents and thank them.
remember, if they deserve it, tell your parents you love them. fuck it, tell everyone you love them. tell the WORLD you love them
@@6Shots_ofEspresso and i love you, random internet stranger!
@@rubixtheslime aww! i love you too!
My dad's parents' hurt me deeply while I was living with them, in short it included threats of physical ab*se, regular s*xual ab*se from my dad's father, daily verbal ab*se, daily emotional ab*se, and gaslighting. It's oddly comforting to know there are other people who know how I feel and have still come on top.
I hope it gets better
Goddamn. People who can do that to a child (or to anyone really) are fucking monsters. Wish you all the good things and them to face the consequences of their atrocious actions.
@@zhenia2511 Thank you, thankfully I escaped them about a month ago to live with my dad. (had to move in with them because my dad had a mental health issue) And I'm doing so much better. I don't constantly think about hurting myself and I actually can relax nowadays. I have my own car and my own freedom for once in my life at 17. I have a decent headstart in life (roughly $34,000 of my own to access at 18, as well as a college fund to get me through 1 or 2 years of college without debt.) and I can finally see the joy in life again. I've come out on the other side. Those horrible things still haunt me but I've finally escaped being in that situation first hand. I am able to start enjoying my hobbies again, I had experienced so much joy with going to a con recently that I had not thought possible despite being in pain from my choice of boots. I still had a blast and seeing my tiny little furbaby gives me so much joy. Though they still haunt me sometimes, I am doing so much better now.
@@ranting2daMAX Thank you, since I moved in with my dad things gradually have been getting better. I can finally feel joy again. My life will get better once I turn 18 in half a year because I will have a decent headstart in life and none of my ab*sive family can control me by that point.
These things are monstrous and far beyond f*ed up. It's sad, but nice to run into people here that been through stuff like this and understands.
"MICKY MOUSE IS SHANKING MINORITIES?!" Took me out. Absolutely cackling. I couldn't breathe.
When I had to pay for my room to live with my mom it was $210 for no control. I wasn't allowed to leave anything out for any reason (I'm an artist and if I'm working on any project I leave my tools out for that project) she would constantly move my art supplies and switch containers they are stored in. Super frustrating when you're an adult and have zero control of your own life. She also went as far as not letting me brush my hair until I moved out at 18½. I actually didn't know how to brush my own hair.
This subreddit is what made me start to understand that the things I believed to be "normal" are not and never were. My parents were just trying to manipulate me and I will not fall for it anymore. Thank you click for making content that shows people what real "normal" life should be.
8:23 I’m a mother to a 14 y/o girl. She has went through a few phases in the last 4 years; super girly, goth/emo, slouch/hobo, and currently fairy/goblin core. Do I get mad because the $119 Killstar boots only got worn like 3 times and are now collecting dust because they’re no longer “her vibe”? Lol no. Am I keeping them in case she goes back to that type of clothing and it’s possible they may still fit? Yes. Does not bother me. Why? Because she’s a teenager! She barely knows what she likes on a day to day basis and I don’t force her to wear them just because they were expensive. Also I can resale them in the future and get at least half my money back since they still look new. There’s so much more to worry about with kids, no matter the age. It’s insane to me to think parents are so miserable that they have to cause strife in their child’s life over something as trivial as clothing. I’m more concerned about the drugs being passed around at the schools, the possibility of a shooter or her being bullied (this last school year was rough with that). . Damn adults need to get a grip and realize everything isn’t about them. Giving your child anxiety over their shoes or clothes while they’re little could cause that child to develop insecurities and possibly depression in the future. I’d rather my child be happy, be comfortable in her own skin and have confidence. Idk maybe I’m with fricking weirdo lmao!
Where did you buy them? I've never heard of killstar.
How parenting should be done. My mom fully supported me finding my own style and will still buy me stuff if she finds something she knows I’ll like. Not as alt these days, changed to just being comfy but knowing my mom had my back and was proud of me daring to be different meant - and still means - a lot.
This. My parents let me go through certain phases, but not others. But they basically call stuff they don't like a "phase" too. It's kinda stupid, but yeah... So basically, I CAN be a goth, but I should dress normally because it won't help me get friends with how difficult I am already, and I also can't be trans because it's a really dangerous phase. Because if it turns out to not be true, I will have made a huge fool out of myself.
I am 18... (I know, still young, but like... I'm still not a toddler anymore)
When I was still married my mother in law actually had a fit when my husband, who had been away for an extended period of time and was going to be home for a limited amount of time and let her know he was going to divide his time at her place and at home with me. She called me saying “That’s my son and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him.” I told her, “I understand, He’s my husband and I haven’t seen him either.” Unbelievable
The one about the shoes, the mother is having totally unreasonably high expectations for Walmart shoes. I lived in situations where I could only get shoes from Walmart, and I was lucky if those shoes lasted me a year at most.
"Oh my fricking- ASS BALLS"
-The Click, 2023
( 31:50 )
I once heard a quote from Bill Murray that went something like this (paraphrasing): "It's hard to win an argument with a smart person but its nearly impossible to win an argument with a stupid person." This video just reminds me of that.
"Never argue with a stupid person. They just pull you down to their level then beat you with experience."
That quote will continue to be relevant until the day the stars explode and the universe goes cold.
9:54 literally reminds me of when I asked my mum which childhood vaccines I had so I could register with a new doctors surgery and sent a pic of the list to her and she didn't read it and just started going off about how no job can force me to take the covid vaccine after she told me which ones I had had. To her the covid vaccine is a no no apparently
14:15 I use Google to hide my search history. My parents hate Google so they don't look at it. They also track my search history on microsoft edge so no way in hell am I searching up anything but my sock addiction on there.
This one was definitely infuriating. The aunt reminded me of my ex gfs mom who tried to claim I took advantage of her when I literally bought her things, we split dinner bills a lot, and I rarely let her buy me gifts unless it was my birthday or christmas! Then the guy saying pride month is like a major tragic historic event is one of those people who just argue bs on twitter and aren't worth the time because they will say the same crud over and over again and refuse to get educated. I feel bad for anyone who lost family in that actual tragedy.
Fr🗣💯💯💯
the conversation about “gay nazis” made me cry with laughter there’s no way ppl like that exist 😭
Give it a few years and they will start saying Jews are Nazis
sadly they do
When he started about Santa being "communist", I lost it. Like... My man... How can you be THAT far gone?
Like Bill Nye said "NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
im literally just sifting through comments right now because "the nazis were gay" made me laugh so hard
19:48 I was driving to visit my father(who was really ill) on my birthday. It was hot so I stopped and picked up something on the way over. I hadn’t even made it out of town when he called wondering where I was and why I was taking so long to visit.
I explained that I woke up late and was helping my stepmom with the animals and had breakfast and was now leaving town.
Well he didn’t like that I had things to do that morning and we started arguing. I ended up crying and turning the car around. I honestly can’t remember if I ended up visiting him that day or not but my stepmom had supported my choice to come back home and wait for my father to calm down.
Yes, my father and stepmom are divorced. Yes, I live with my stepmom because she has always been there for me. She has been more of a mom than my bio mom has ever been.
This makes me somewhat sad, yet hopeful. The fact that there are adults, parent no less, who are doing obviously abusive, manipulative, and evil things such that even a minor, such as myself, can easily point them out is greatly saddening. On the other hand, seeing people help each other through these situations makes me so happy for the future.